Hello Homemakers , welcome to the Art of Home podcast , where we are exploring how Homemakers cultivate a place to belong . I'm your host , allison Weeks . I'm a wife , a mom to four grown kids , granny to one little boy and one baby girl arriving soon , and I have been practicing the Art of Home for over 30 years . We are more than halfway through season 18 and we have had a couple of great , seasoned Homemaker portraits , as well as a thorough , deep dive into how to respond to medical and fire emergencies in the home . Be sure to go back and give those a listen if you miss them . Today on the podcast , I am bringing you another great Homemaker portrait and I will tell you more about that . After I share what I've been up to in my home
, it's time for Allison's update , the part of the podcast where I tell you what is happening in my home and what homemaking resources I am loving lately . This update is brought to you by listeners who support the Art of Home through Buy Me a Coffee . Buy Me a Coffee is a virtual tip jar where you can show your appreciation and support for the show by giving a one-time tip or by becoming a Titus 2 woman supporter and setting up a recurring tip of $5 per month . Titus 2 women supporters receive access to a weekly audio version of Homemaker Happy Mail . Whichever way you choose to give , I am grateful for your support . So last week we quietly celebrated Valentine's Day at home with a yummy roast beef dinner and cozy British murder mystery . Currently we are making our way through the Poirot series . That's the Agatha Christie Poirot series that ran on PBS in the 90s and the early 2000s . You can watch it on I think it's Britbox it's either a corner Britbox , pretty sure it's Britbox , the streaming channel and I think it's $5 a month , so you could pay for it for a couple of months and work your way through the series . If you're into cozy British murder mysteries , my husband brought home some flowers and some chocolate on February 13th to avoid the craziness of the grocery store on Valentine's Day , which was nice because then I could enjoy them all day on the 14th .
Speaker 1As far as what I'm loving lately , I have a couple of podcast episodes to recommend . Now . I listen to a lot of podcasts and some I would recommend and others maybe not , but last week I heard two particular episodes that were so helpful and encouraging to me I wanted to pass them along to you . The first one was one of my favorite shows at home with Sally . That's the weekly podcast from Sally Clarkson , who has been very influential in the homemaking community , and rightly so . She is a wise older woman of God and I rarely miss her podcast .
Speaker 1Last week she had a special episode featuring her daughter , joy Clarkson , who followed in her mom's footsteps as a writer and a deep thinker , and in this episode they discuss her new book you Are a Tree and Other Metaphors to Nourish Life , thought and Prayer , and it was a fascinating discussion about how much metaphors shape our speech and thoughts and we don't even realize it . It's just a part of how we communicate and it is a big part of how God communicates through His word . Without taking metaphors to an unscriptural place , joy insightfully points out some basic but repetitive metaphors that are in Scripture which help us grasp the nature and character of God and the reality that he has designed all around us . I pre-ordered the book and am excited to read it . I will let you know my thoughts afterward .
Speaker 1The second episode I'd like to recommend is another show that is on my weekly podcast role , simple Farmhouse Life , with Lisa Bass of the blog and YouTube channel Farmhouse on Boone . Lisa is a sourdough expert , mama to eight and champion of homemaking . She has very interesting guests , great topics and I always learn something from her content . Last week she featured Natalie Hickson , the angry mama coach , and they talked about what to do when motherhood brings out the worst in us . Natalie shares her own journey of working through destructive anger as a young mom . She has older kids now and she gives some really helpful insight on why we feel the rage and the anger and also she gives some practical suggestions on what to do with all those feelings so that we're not stuck in a cycle of sinning in our anger , because the Bible doesn't say anger is a sin . It tells us don't sin in your anger and then feeling defeated with guilt and shame because we did sin in our anger . So really great , really great episode , some really practical help there , and I will link both of these episodes in the description box and in the show notes on the blog .
Speaker 1Let me just take a moment to say here I may recommend things that you may choose not to agree with or to consume for one reason or another . I may even have guests on here who say things that I don't necessarily agree with or that you don't necessarily agree with . Obviously , I am not going to recommend , nor give an audience to , ideas and teaching that contradict or undermine the gospel , but there are secondary and tertiary issues that we can agree to disagree on . Anything that is non-essential doctrine . That is , our salvation does not depend upon what we believe about that issue , and what I will say to you and recommend to you is do your own homework . Be like a Berean . Those were the believers who , in the book of Acts they are commended by Paul for searching the scriptures carefully to make sure that what they were hearing , these gospel teachings that they were hearing , lined up with scripture . So , whether you're hearing teaching and ideas about God from the pulpit or from a podcast , test it against scripture and make sure it lines up . If you are a follower of Jesus , you have the Holy Spirit in you to help you practice this kind of discernment , but it does take some work on your part . I will do my best to represent Christ and His gospel faithfully here , but I am fallible and so are my guests . So take what you hear at the Art of Home and be a Berean and , by all means , if you are concerned by anything on the Art of Home . I welcome your thoughts and input because I am still learning and growing too .
Speaker 1Now on to today's episode . I am chatting with Carita Fuller about her experience keeping a home for the past 10 years with her husband and stepchildren . Carita worked for the US Air Force for 20 years before retiring and fully embracing her role as a full-time homemaker and help meet to her husband . We talk about her sudden and steep learning curve of becoming a mom , not to babies , but to teens . She had a very short runway to prepare them to leave the nest as capable young adults and that was a big responsibility . Carita shares openly about how infertility can tempt her to compare to women who have what she doesn't , but that God has taught her that what motherhood looks like is not what she thinks it should look like , but what he says it looks like . I love her perspective on hospitality and how homemaking builds community , and she has some fun stories and tips and ideas to share .
Speaker 1Just a quick sound note there is some lawn care going on in the background at times throughout this conversation . It's a weird , freakish law of nature that when you turn on the microphone , somebody's going to turn on a lawnmower or a leaf blower somewhere nearby and we share a little laugh about that . Just stick with us . It is not constant and while it does get a little loud one or two times , you can still hear what we're saying . Thank you for trusting me with some of your precious time today . I believe it will be time well spent , whatever you are applying your hands to . As you listen , I know you will enjoy Carita's story of home . Welcome to the
Art of Home . I'm here with my friend , carita Fuller , and Carita is an in the trenches homemaker and we're going to hear her story and all about her experience keeping a home . But before we do that , why don't you just say hi to everybody , carita , and tell us a little bit about who you are today ?
Speaker 2Hey everybody , I am , like Allison said , carita Fuller . I am a housewife , an empty nester , a bonus mom to four kids and a grandmother to one , a retired Air Force vet . I am a fanatical , voracious knitter and a tea drinker . Never coffee , I've never even had a cup of coffee as hard as that is to believe for some people . And I know , and I am . I consider myself an extroverted introvert . Okay , just because I like being out , I do . But as my hobbies are , you know , I like small groups , I like living in small groups or even by myself at home . So , and that's pretty much me , Okay , awesome .
Speaker 1Okay , there's a lot there to unpack , so I want to go to the back , but I have a couple of questions first . Okay , what did you do in the ? You said you were in the Air Force . Right , yes , I was . What did you do in the Air Force ?
Speaker 220 years . Yes , I started out as a finance airman , so I was a B encounter and worked in pay and budgeting and then I transitioned to be a . It's a first sergeant . It was like an administrative type position in a leadership tour in a squadron .
Speaker 1So oh , okay , did you travel . Did you have any expat assignments overseas or anything ?
Speaker 2I actually did . I spent half of my career overseas . I was stationed in Japan , oh wow , immediately . And then I was in Germany and Guam , and I've deployed to Iraq , I've deployed to Pakistan , I've deployed to the Philippines and , yes , they stationed in the States a few times . So , and my second to last assignment , of course , is when I met my husband , and 10 years later , Okay , all right . Well , I'm excited to hear that story . I'll put down who's where he is so .
Speaker 1Awesome . Well , I just want to say thank you for 20 years of service to our country . Thank you , yeah , I appreciate that . Okay , let's go back to the beginning . So when did you first become a homemaker and did you have any skills ?
Speaker 2Well , I think that I consider myself becoming a full-time homemaker , embracing it , in 2015 . So that's when , after my husband and I got married and I moved into his home with and immediately went from zero kids to four kids . So 2015 is what I say . You know , I became a homemaker . I had skills before then . You know , I've always been very organized . Of course , there's the military of routine and I was familiar with all of those things , but I have always been a baker , so I baked all of the things and that was , I'm sure , the one thing that I brought that the kids were like oh yes , welcome mom .
Speaker 1That's awesome what's their favorite . What's their favorite thing that you bake ? My son likes .
Speaker 2Oh , the last time I made red velvet brownies .
Speaker 1Oh , I've never had a red velvet brownie .
Speaker 2It is an intense thing to have , but when I the last couple of times I've made them , he's like oh yes , this is the perfect dessert . And my daughter I don't know the last thing that I made that I wish that she really liked , cause she's not really a sweets person . She likes soup . I made Zupa Toscana and it immediate hit .
Speaker 1So , yes , okay , we'll talk more about food later . Yeah , and I wanna talk about instantly getting a family of four kids . We'll talk about that later too . But let's , we're still on the skills and I wanna know what was like the , what was the biggest , the steepest learning curve you had . You know , what was something you really struggled with and kind of how did you overcome that ?
Speaker 2The steepest learning curve and this is going to sound odd , I know was the mommy part of moving into a home . Like I said , I didn't have any kids and then , all of a sudden , I had two teenagers in the home , my youngest two . They lived with their mom so but immediately , you know , I had a 13 and a 14 year old and there was something that I never saw myself as was a mom . Like I said , I had been in the military for , at that point , 18 years , and it was just me . So being compassionate , not being selfish . Everyone thinks that they're a gracious person when it's just you . But when you have teenagers in the home and a husband , all of a sudden you immediately learn their mom's gotta be pretty . That's a very unselfish role to take . So the moming part of it I don't think that I was ever mean or cold or standoffish , but the complete , my time , my energy , my effort now immediately goes to these people . You know that was a steep learning curve for me . You can learn to cook , you can cook , you can bake , you can clean , you can scrub , all of the things , you can organize and budget , but until you're put in a position where you have to not be selfish without a choice and immediately . You know that was new for me and honestly , it was leaning into the word .
Speaker 2Fortunately , we were in a church shortly after I got here . We found a church home and reading and learning what women do and what wives do , and being a helpmate and being a mother period . You know , it's all there . You know , titus 2 , 3 through 5 is my favorite scripture because it outlines look you're supposed to . You know , teach younger women and raise the children . You know . So I'm like okay , so I'm built for this , I'm made for this .
Speaker 1The word says I know how to do this and that just helped , right , but that whole dying to yourself part is what makes it all so hard .
Speaker 2Right , yes , yes , definitely . I've always known that I would be a wife , got it , help me . Completely understood that part . But to be a mom is something that you can't quite prepare for . You don't know what the expectation is . You know what the TV says , you know what social media says , you know what other moms say , but you don't know , until you're in a position , what your children will require of you and then the dynamic of them being , you know , step kids and not my children . There was that thrown in and so , yeah , it was , like I said , completely unselfish , being completely unselfish and dying to yourself . You know .
Speaker 1Yep , yep . So as you've been keeping a home now for 10 years and like where would you say you're drawing the most , who had the biggest influence on you ? You know , as you do this , who do you look back on and say , man , that person had a real big impact on my homemaking .
Speaker 2You know , it depends on the situation , because my mom my birth mom , because I have a step mom she was adamant about keeping things clean and orderly . I'm the oldest of three . I have a brother and a sister that I grew up in the house with , and my mom always made sure that everything was clean . There was a way that it had to be clean and the house kept . So , you know , she worked outside of the home . So , as the oldest kid I know , you know how to take care of a home .
Speaker 2Being a mom , though , and being a step mom is my step mom . That's my mom . We don't do step , and from the moment she married my dad , there was never a gap in her relationship with me , even though she wasn't my mom and at this point I was 17 , I think , when they got married and about to leave the house but she was always hey , I'm mom . I know I'm not your birth mom , I'm not trying to fill that space , but I am mom , you know , and I took that , of course , into my relationship with my kids . Sure , yeah , they're step kids according to paperwork , but these are my children . You know I would do anything for them , and whatever they need from me . I'm mom , so I definitely took that from her .
Speaker 2The cooking and baking and cleaning that came from just my experiences here . I have a very close church family and being in those ladies' homes and talking to them and having them in my home . I've had small groups at my home and just talking to them about how to navigate different things . How are you preparing for people just popping up ? How do you prepare for children that need X , y and Z , kids that need X , y and Z ? So yeah , and then , of course , my neat group . They are a constant reminder to me that you have to stop and slow down .
Speaker 1Oh , yeah , yeah , Do you meet often with your knitting group ? We do .
Speaker 2I meet with my knit group twice a month in person and then we take field trips . That , of course , because most of them are a lot older than me and they're retired . They all say , oh , let's go field trip here , let's go to this yarn shop . So they remind me that life does not stop when your children leave the house . Life does not stop while your children are in the house . If you are married , you still have to stop and slow down and take time to do something that you enjoy , and just being around them is the best .
Speaker 1I love that you have that group . How long have you been knitting ?
Speaker 2I have been knitting . I taught myself to knit . I want to say it has to be at least 15 or so years ago now Well , actually , probably 20 or so years ago now , but once I retired I retired in 2017 , that's when it became OK . So this is what I'm going to do with my time when I need to stop and slow down . This is what I'm going to do with that time . And it became a now it's kind of my jam . It's what people know me for .
Speaker 1So what do you make , like , are you doing blankets or scarves , or what are you ?
Speaker 2Blankets , scarves , clothing , socks , sweaters , shawls , wraps , all of the things I have knit . Ok , so , and still knit .
Speaker 1I do crochet , but I haven't learned to knit yet . That's on my list of things I want to learn to crochet .
Speaker 2I just can't wrap my head around it . It's an odd thing , yeah .
Speaker 1But so I have a question , because I was stalking your Instagram account and it looks like you went to Ireland . Did you go there to buy wool ?
Speaker 2Yes , so yes , one of the perks of being an empty nester . Yes , so there are knitting tours and one of the oh yes , knitting tours , knitting vacations , knitting retreats I had no idea . Oh , it's a whole world . And so one of the girls that I follow on Instagram , her mom , is a travel agent and she wanted to put together a tour . Now there are already several knitting tours that go across Ireland and Scotland and you know , all over that area . And she asked she just put a call out . You know how much support would I have if my mom put together this tour ?
Speaker 2And I looked at my husband and I said , oh my God . And I said , you know , I think it'd be fun to go on a knitting tour . And he says you should go . And I said , well , this is to Ireland . And he says , ah , that sounds like a lot of fun , you should go . And I was like , well , I wanted you to go with me and that took a little bit of selling , but because there is also a non-mitter component itinerary on the tour , he decided to go with me and we had a blast . But , yes , lots of wool was purchased , lots of things were done , all of the sites were seen . We went to Cork and Kilkenny and a couple of days in Dublin . We started in Dublin and Dunlira and yes , we were all over Ireland .
Speaker 2That is amazing Looking at sheep and wool and all of the Irish things . Ok .
Speaker 1I had no idea .
Speaker 2Oh yes , there's one in October again , this is the animal thing now .
Speaker 1That's amazing .
Speaker 2OK .
Speaker 1We're looking at wanting to go to the doer like tour the British Isles and , for sure , spend some time in Ireland , so I'm going to have to get your top .
Speaker 2Yes , I'm going to have to find some mills . Get you to tell me what your top is .
Speaker 1Definitely yeah , ok , all right . Well , let's talk about expectations . We kind of talked about that a little bit . You know you kind of weren't expecting the whole mom thing to be so hard . But what's something else
that surprised you about homemaking , Just something you didn't expect how ?
Speaker 2much time it takes to run my house . Yeah , yes , Even though it's just me and the husband . I know it's like a job . It takes a lot to run my home and I don't say that in a bad way . But when you are no longer working outside the home and I'm here all day , it's like , oh my goodness , I can't believe that I did the cooking , the cleaning , the shopping , the scrubbing , the going to get this , the running , this errand all of that in addition to working .
Speaker 2So how much time it takes to run my house was very surprising , and it's funny because I often explain that to my friends who do still work outside the home and they're like , what do you do all day ? Because they think it's all knitting and bond bonds , which we would love for it to be . But yeah , and I explained to them you know , if you only worked in your home , you would be surprised how much time it takes . Yeah , so to do it right . I mean , of course there are days when I'm lazy and I'm just like , no , we're just going to sit here and watch TV , but that time those errands and things will catch up with you the next day . So that was very surprising to me and I think it's surprising to a lot of people , even my husband . He's like stuff just happens and you're here all day ripping and running . So that was surprising .
Speaker 1Is there an expectation that you had to let go of , something that you were like maybe was really holding onto , but you just had to let it go for the benefit of your home and your family and your well-being ? That .
Speaker 2I knew how it would go every day and that everything would be able to be scheduled out . I definitely had to let that go .
Speaker 1That's the military speaking right there . Yes , yes , I mean all that order . You know 20 years of that . There's order .
Speaker 2There's routine and I had to let go of that . All of those things would work out and I had to lean into what is the rhythm of my home , you know , and going with the flow of my home , you know , ideally , yes , I would love to be able to . Oh , yes , I get up on Saturday mornings and have a tea and then I go do my shopping and then I come home . That doesn't work for my house , you know . So , those types of things , that routine , that I expected it to be , that if I said these are the way things are gonna go , that it's always gonna go that way , I really just had to lean into what works for us , what works for our family , what works for our home , and make that the routine , and then I'm not so stressed about it .
Speaker 1Right , and then what works in the season that you're in , because your rhythms change ?
Speaker 2you know , definitely . Yes , grocery shopping was hilarious to me because , of course , when the kids were in the house , you shop on Saturday morning because the things are going on during the week , but now to shop on a Monday when the grocery stores are empty , and make sure that I have enough food to last me and my husband just , ah , through Thursday , you know as opposed to buying in bulk on Saturday and coming home and packaging food and you know .
Speaker 1And then it's all gone like by Wednesday , and you're like I just bought that it's gone .
Speaker 2Yes , and now if I go and I buy groceries and the husband calls the audible and he's like , babe , let's go out to eat , I'm thinking , but I got a roast in the refrigerator .
Speaker 1that I was supposed to cook on Exactly . Was it hard for you to transition to cooking for two ?
Speaker 2It was not , but I'll tell you it had to happen . I did learn that from my circle of ladies that you can't neglect yourself and your husband just because the kids are gone . He still deserves meals . Yeah , for him . You know he says he doesn't care , but we still deserve to eat a home-cooked meal . It can't be . Let's go out to eat every night . We still deserve to have , you know , snacks in the house . We still so that type of thing . It wasn't too bad Buying less food . Of course took some adjusting , but all the money I thought I would save by not having teenagers in the house we end up spending because we go out to dinner now and it's like oh let's go have a steak in the middle of the week , oh Okay .
Speaker 1It all evens out it all evens out , so that's great . Okay , I want to talk a little bit more about the kids , about parenting , yes , the kids so how did the addition of children challenge and enrich your home-making and yours is a different experience than when I usually ask this question . Usually it's the new baby coming in . You know we've touched on this a little bit , but what are some ways that they really enriched your experience at the home ? You know ?
Speaker 2because I didn't have babies . I love the fact that when I came in , it was an immediate reminder that we are raising adults . Oh yeah , and I think a lot of times when people have small children my friends who have small kids you know it's fun to raise little kids because everything is new and great and you don't have to think about what are they going to do when they leave the house , because you have all that time . But with mine they were , like I said , 13 and 14 . So it was immediately okay .
Speaker 2I need to make sure that they see me cooking . I need to make sure that they see me and their dad's relationship and what a marriage is supposed to be like . It's supposed to be fun . It's not supposed to be stressful . We're supposed to laugh and joke with each other .
Speaker 2I need my son to know that . You need to know how to iron clothes . You know this is something that , before you go out of the house , look presentable . So those types of things . You know my daughter knowing how to cook and seeing me cook and not seeing fast food every night , and you know those types of things . So it was immediately evident that we're raising kids and I love that I did get that kind of slap in the face that these are grown people Right , and we need to raise them as such and treat them as such and make sure that they know things that will make them successful adults . So and I think that having them in the house immediately that definitely helped . That was a very cool thing to see . To see my son getting up scrambling eggs on a weekend morning is like okay , he's good , if you know . I know that he can feed himself . He can feed himself Exactly .
Speaker 1Yeah , no , that's such a unique perspective and experience that you have , because , as parents , it's like we know our kids are gonna take off like I'm thinking like a plane and we have a long runway when we get them as babies . Like you got him right before the plane was about to just Take off . Yes , I mean , I'm sure that was a lot of pressure for you to feel like I gotta like launch these kids , you know my kids are amazing .
Speaker 2They really are they . When I came in , my husband was a single dad , so they came in and there was no , she's not my mom . There was no tension there because , like I said , I came in with the mindset of these are almost adults and , just like with any situation , they need to be able to function . Whether you like someone or not , whether you know someone or not , how do you build trust with people ? How do you build trust with people that you don't know ? So , like I said , it was an interesting thing and I definitely like talking to people about it , because being a step mom bonus mom , step dad bonus dad whatever phrase you choose to use it comes with a very different interaction not a better , worse , greater or lesser than their actual birth parent , but it definitely comes with a different interaction that can be really good .
Speaker 2I have an amazing relationship with my dad's wife . I really do , and it's because she came in as mom . She came in and it's like okay , I need to make sure that you are going to be a successful young woman that knows how to take care of herself or in a home , and so I just brought that into here with my kids .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's good . That's good . Well , let's talk about priorities
for a minute .
Speaker 2So what are ?
Speaker 1some practical steps that you take to kind of help you set and keep your priorities .
Speaker 2First and foremost , being a help meet to my husband . He works very hard , so I try to make sure that he is comfortable and that I don't forget him . We spend a lot of time together because he works from home . So we are that . Oh yes , we are that couple that's around each other 24 , seven and it's , but it's not bad .
Speaker 2But I'll tell you it , definitely , I definitely have to prioritize being his help meet and all of the things that that means , whether it's he needs X , y and Z or he needs some space to just sit , yeah , you know . So , definitely prioritizing that . And then , like I told you , I definitely love Titus too , because it gives me okay when I feel like I need to be right up under him . Well , no , there's other things that I need to do . Also , you know I should be more . I should be trying to go to Bible study . I should , I say trying to . I go . I love my Bible study group on Tuesday mornings , but there is the . You know , I do want to help my church fam . I do want to be there for my friends and my family . I do want to , you know , check on the people who need help . So , prioritizing those things , prioritizing what's in the word , and not so much what I think needs to be done .
Speaker 1Yeah , so , yeah , okay . So how about social media ? No , how , how do you do you have a relationship with social ? I mean , you're on Instagram . I know that I do , yes , so , like , how do you manage it ? How do you keep that in check and keep from comparing and all that stuff ?
Speaker 2Social media to me is like a magazine , and if I approach it that way , it's just something to thumb through while you're waiting to go and do something else . But there's always . There are always things that I need to be doing . Primarily , though , have interest outside of social media . I have things to do that don't involve social media and that , I think , is what keeps me from death spiraling and doom-scrolling into social media . Like I said , I am a member of a knit group . I do go to Bible study , we go to church on Sundays . There's my whole house to run , you know , and I think if you prioritize those things , or when I prioritize those things , I don't end up spiraling down into social media , cause it can get to be a little painful sometimes . You know the comparison and they say you know , comparison is the thief of joy . That's true , but it's easy to say and you know , harder to embrace when you've got snacks and TV and you just scroll through . Yeah , scroll it through Instagram .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2But , yes , having priorities or having things to do , tangible things outside of social media definitely helps , but I don't dislike it . It has helped . I found you through social media my knitting community and social media , my housewife community and social media so I don't see it as a bad thing , but I definitely treat it like a magazine , just something to thumb through that next month there's going to be a new issue . Oh yeah , yeah . Next week , next week , next week , there will be a new issue . This is out . This is in this week .
Speaker 1Yes , I mean , yeah , no , I agree that's a good way to think of it as a magazine and it's very . I think what draws us in is that it's pretty , especially Instagram .
Speaker 1It's so pretty , it's pretty , it's pretty to look at , it's so pretty . And then we can get those little dopamine hits if somebody liked our thing , you know , and that's the kind of dangerous addictive part . But I love that you're saying have other interests , and I would say to have other sources of beauty in your life . So that's , you know , you're not just drawn to that one source of beauty .
Speaker 2That becomes your standard and source of beauty .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , for sure For sure . It sounds like somebody's doing lawn care .
Speaker 2Yes , can you hear it ? Do I need to move the piece ?
Speaker 1Listen , no , no , it's so funny though , because it's like a magnetic force when you turn on a microphone to record something Somebody close by is going to start the lawn mower or the leaf blower , or so fun .
Speaker 2We've been waiting on this man all week long , in today's day Exactly .
Speaker 1Because this is what this is . It's like a weird law of nature , I don't know . Yes , it is . It's a joke within the podcast community . Ok , it's fine . Ok , hopefully it's not too loud . It's not .
Speaker 2No OK .
Speaker 1OK , so let's talk
about temptations and challenges a little bit .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1All right . So which of these temptations have you struggled with the most , and what is God teaching you through it ? I'm going to give you three options . Number one comparison to other women homemakers . I am just a homemaker . I'm not getting paid , so this is not a real job . Or see superwoman trying to do all the things .
Speaker 2I definitely will say A comparison to other women and homemakers . But I love seeing moms . I love seeing moms and babies and they're knitting for babies and cleaning behind children and picking up toys , all of those things . But I can't covet children . So we've struggled with infertility , we have had a miscarriage , we have tried IVF and it was not successful . It's our desire to have a baby . I love my kids , they're wonderful , but I would love to have my husband's baby . So that comparison is the one that I make .
Speaker 2When I see other women with their children and having babies and being pregnant , it's a challenge to not say to myself if only I had made a baby X , y and Z decisions back 20 years ago . But what helps and what is God teaching me through that is that even though I've not had children , I am a mom . I prayed for this life and I prayed for children and the Lord gave me four immediately , without hesitation . Oh , you want babies , here you go and it's been wonderful . Also , through my church family I am a mom to a lot of teen girls who , if I would just , like I said , remember not to covet what I don't have , I would see that they're standing in front of me saying hey , miss Krita , how do you do X , y and Z ? Where did you get this dress from ? How do you cook ? Do you have a recipe for X , y and Z ? So that's what God is teaching me through that .
Speaker 2I am a mom . That role is within me , because he says that women are mothers . And what being a mother looks like , or becoming a mother looks like , is not what I think it looks like . It's what he says it looks like , and all children need mothers . Yeah , you know , if someone's mom is upstairs working in children's church and there's a baby downstairs running wild , the closest mom , please get the baby . So that's what he's teaching me through it . That's what I learned from him that we are women , are mothers . That's what we do . And just because you have not birthed a child does not mean I don't have any less responsibility to be a mother , right , you know , because it is a responsibility . It's not just a cute thing to have , oh , absolutely . It's not just a cute thing to be and wear a mama t-shirt .
Speaker 2There's responsibility that comes with that .
Speaker 1Absolutely . I love that perspective that's so good . So , besides the infertility and the struggles that we've talked about already , were there any particular special challenges or struggles that you faced in your home making journey ?
Speaker 2Well , surprisingly no . I think that that was the biggest one because it was to me like early on , when we were trying , like I said , after the miscarriage , it was such a huge thing that I felt was looming over our marriage and over what a home was to me . You know , they again , like you say , social media , you look at social media and every homemaker , housewife , stay at home , mom , stay at home , wife , account , they all have children . So you know , how do you , like I said , it was a huge rock or a huge cloud of how do I define ? Is my home still a home even though there aren't babies in it running around ? You know , I know that it is . God says it is . You know he's made it a home . That's right . By virtue of my covenant family and my husband , this is a home and yeah it . That's pretty much the one big rock and we still work through it , we still pray through it and , yeah , it is what it is .
Speaker 1I love , I love everything you're saying here , because we you know , we talk on the show about the pillars of of homemaking . We've explored the first two , and the first one was identity , and that that's number one , because that everything else hinges on that . And even like you're saying when you're talking about , you know , it doesn't just because you don't have babies running around doesn't mean it's not a home , and that is such an important thing for all of us to grasp , because our babies grow up and they leave . Yes , well , hopefully , hopefully , sometimes they come back . But if we've put all of our identity in having these children and like my home's not a home without these kids or you know , I'm not a homemaker if I don't have kids , because I talk to a lot of women my age who are empty nesters and they're like , well , what am I doing ? Like is it okay for me to still be home and just primarily care for my home ? I'm like , yes , yes , yes , absolutely .
Speaker 2Like I said earlier , your husband , you know you were created to be his help meet . Having children is a plus , that's a perk , it's a benefit . You know it's like , oh , I got this bonus thing too , right , but you were created to be his help meet , and you know , just because the children are gone , I think it is so important that we remember hey , I'm still his rib , he still needs to eat , he still needs to be taken care of . There's still , you know , I still got to take care of Kate .
Speaker 1Right , we still have responsibilities . So , okay , I want to talk about hospitality a little bit . Tell me a practical
way that you show hospitality in your home making .
Speaker 2I always have something available to make . Like being able to make something from scratch and have those ingredients on hand . I don't care if it's just tea or coffee , you know , always be able to warm someone with something . Or even if it's just your home , it doesn't have to be you got to go out and buy something . Make sure that you have a clean space for someone who may just drop by . It may not be , you know , everybody has this fear of unexpected guests . I'm not , that it doesn't stress me out .
Speaker 2Funny story so our next door neighbor a couple of years ago we didn't know her Because they just moved in and she got locked out of her house on a rainy it was pouring rain and she got locked out of her house . And so , of course , in the middle of the morning I get this ring on my doorbell at like 9 , 30 in the morning and it's this wet girl I'd never seen before . And with the way the world is today , it's like okay , lord , I know you got me . So I opened the door and she's just drenched and she says I know I've never met you , but can I please just use your phone ? I locked myself out of the house and I'm thinking , oh , this is horrible , come in , you know , and and so and she .
Speaker 2We had a space for her to sit , I could go and get towels and drive her off and , you know , make a couple of coffee or some tea . Yeah , you know . So I think being prepared is the one practical way . You don't have to have an entire pound cake on the countertop every time somebody comes over , or roasting the oven with enough to feed 12 people . But a clean place for someone to sit and , and you know , a cup of coffee or tea , I think would go far , absolutely .
Speaker 2I think they would offer that to anyone who knocks on the door Right right , or you know your kids or your husband or you know because hospitality starts at home with your with your nearest neighbors , and that's the people who live in the house with you . Yes .
Speaker 1And I love that . What you just said being prepared that's that's . That's the most part , that's the biggest part of it .
Speaker 2Yeah , and preparation , like I said , is not an elaborate thing . No , clean space for someone to sit .
Speaker 1Don't have to be fancy . That's it . Yeah , yeah , okay . How do you think the home , home making , helps to build community ?
Speaker 2I believe it creates a welcoming posture in the woman . Hmm , it you start to carry yourself with an air and an attitude of , and a mindset that I'm available , I'm available to help . Like I said , it's dangerous out there in the streets , we know , but to to carry yourself with the mindset and the attitude of I'm here to help , yeah , I think people can feel that if it's nothing but you know you have a welcoming posture , you're more likely to open the whole the door open for someone . If you see someone pushing a cart and they got babies , or you know an older man trying to get the cane and the door and the , it makes you more apt to help . But if you but that comes from being at home , ready to help , right , you know , and you just kind of walk around with that same air in your community , regardless of what your community may mean .
Speaker 1Right , oh , I love that . I think you're . Yeah , I haven't really thought about it that way before , but as we because we just talked earlier about how you know you you learned you had to really live for others and not for yourself and pour yourself out , and I think there's nothing like home making to train you in in that , in that classroom , and so then your , your senses , are kind of always like aware of that , wherever you go .
Speaker 2And I love that .
Speaker 1Yeah , and I think that's what you put that it does create a welcoming posture . Well , that's what we pray for , because it can also create a different kind of posture .
Speaker 2Yes , it can create a overworked and trying to do too much posture which can often lead to bitterness and resentment and all of those things so . I agree , you definitely have to watch it and keep it in check .
Speaker 1That is great , really good perspective . Thank you for sharing that .
Okay , I have some questions for you . Yes , I'm related to your home making fails and wins and favorites and all of that . Okay , yes , you ready , I'm ready . Okay , tell me about your biggest home making fail so far .
Speaker 2The husband would laugh . The husband would laugh Waffles , waffles . Three months ago , I know , about three months ago I woke up and said I wanted some waffles . Okay , I don't know what was going on with me this day , but I absolutely could not make that . It was too watery , the flour was old , I don't know if the milk was old , I don't know if the baking powder I have no idea , but they wouldn't thicken up and it was so bad . I got so frustrated I poured it in the walk maker and it just ran all down the side and I eventually just threw the entire thing bowling all in the trash and I'm just sitting on the couch with a complete attitude .
Speaker 2Mind you , I'm a 46 year old woman and my husband comes out like what is going on ? I'm going on with you and I said I just can't make these stupid waffles . He makes waffles all the time , never has a problem . But , yes , huge fail . And now it's still , to this day , couldn't tell you what happened . Now . Now I can whip up waffles like a champ , never have a problem with it , but that day they were really going to send me to my room in tears . I did the difftest thing ever . What ? And it's such a ridiculous thing .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2But yeah , huge fail Okay .
Speaker 1It was bad . Tell me about a recent home-making win A pork loin .
Speaker 2Okay , I know it's bad that these things are about food , but a pork loin .
Speaker 1It's a big part of our job . It's a big part .
Speaker 2Every time we go out to dinner we always get pork loin and it's delicious . And I tried to make one home and it was dry . And then I tried to make one and it was bland and I just kept . I tried eight million different pork loin recipes and finally I found the perfect pork loin marinade and recipe and it came out flawless . All for my husband to say you know , you put a lot of effort into this and it's delicious , but is the juice really worth the squeeze ? I mean , you did a lot for this little two pounds of meat , so , but I'm very proud because it is delicious , it really is very good . He says it is an amazing pork loin , but you did a lot of work for his little two pound of meat it's so . Yeah , notice , he's the common thread is . He's my vector . I'm very much his help . I am , but yes , and he helps me also . But yeah , he said it's delicious but you did a lot .
Speaker 1There was the ice bath and the oh , okay , so the recipe . I thought maybe he meant like you put a lot of effort in all the trial and error trying to find the right one .
Speaker 2That too , that too , but yes , it is an exact 20 minute ice bath and the the blind water and the lemon . Oh yes , it's a lot of work .
Speaker 1That sounds , but it's delicious .
Speaker 2It's complicated but , it's delicious , but it's delicious , so that was my recent win . I'm still very proud of that pork loin Okay .
Speaker 1Good . How about ? How about a product or resource that you are loving right now ? Pinterest cleaning tips .
Speaker 2Pinterest cleaning tips . Okay , what it is that has me just on Pinterest looking for different cleaning tips for different things . So , yeah , that I'm loving it . I'm loving it . The recipes are okay , but definitely the Pinterest cleaning hacks . I'm always I'm always down for a good cleaning hack . And then a recipes though Half Baked Harvest website has become a fast favorite of mine and you know my hubs , we eat a lot of those recipes .
Speaker 1I have two of her cookbooks and they're awesome .
Speaker 2I have two of them also . Yes , I do Awesome yes .
Speaker 1I think Pinterest is I mean so like really what they tell you in like marketing classes for all of this world that I live in , that I can't . It's just weird that I live in this world of doing content creation , content creation , but here I am . It's so cool though I know it is , you do a great job . Thank you , awesome pocket . But they said you know Pinterest is really you have to think about like a search engine . Yes , that's exactly what , and I feel like Pinterest is the search engine made for homemakers . It is Because it's got all the things that we do .
Speaker 2Yes , all the things . Diy snowflakes from brown paper bags , everything .
Speaker 1Yeah , everything I love Pinterest , but the cleaning hacks . I'm here for Cleaning . Okay , I'm going to start looking up cleaning hacks on Pinterest . Yes , okay , but now do you have a favorite hack ? It doesn't have to be cleaning , but do you have like a tip or a hack or something you've come across that you love ?
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1Okay , Strip your kitchen towels . Oh , please tell me how have you done this successfully ? Cause I've tried and I was not successful .
Speaker 2Wash them in hot water , baking soda and vinegar . I know you probably don't want to throw both of those in the washing machine , but baking soda and vinegar and extremely hot water , okay , yes , and because I had the issue where you know your kitchen towels don't dry anymore , your tea towels don't dry , they just spear the water around . Right , I stripped my kitchen towels and washed them and then throw them in the dryer , but I don't use any other products on them , though that was the key , because every other product puts a coating on them .
Speaker 1It puts a residue , yeah , puts a residue .
Speaker 2So no , I don't put any dryer sheets , no , nothing . Just wash them in the vinegar baking soda . I throw a little tight pod in there , but hot , hot water , and that is it , and then dry them . They're going to be static heat , but it's okay .
Speaker 1How often do you do the stripping ?
Speaker 2I've gotten into the habit of throwing a little bit of vinegar in there whenever I do my kitchen laundry . Okay , kitchen laundry is like all the pot . You know the pot holders and the towels and all that . I just throw all that stuff in there . I strip it once , probably once a month . That I'll do the baking soda and the vinegar , but normally I just put a little bit of vinegar in there and wash them .
Speaker 1So you put a little bit but .
Speaker 2I'll tell you . I'll tell you not using any other type of laundry product on them helps . But you said you put do you use a soap or you just use in vinegar , Like when you oh , when I wash them when you wash them , yeah , oh , when I wash them , yeah , sometimes I'll put a tibet pod in there if they're really grubby , but for the most part just vinegar and the hot water , just really hot water and vinegar , yeah , that is it .
Speaker 1But no other laundry products , especially fabric softeners , because I know that's the culprit .
Speaker 2that really leaves the residue and dryer sheets too , though I think people forget , just because it's muscle memory to throw a dryer sheet in there , or like a wool ball or something like that . But yeah , I think that all of them , they just kind of add something to it . But my towels are now drying like a champ . Okay , I haven't done it for my bath towels , though . That just seems like a lot of work .
Speaker 1Well , I read the thing about that and I did try it , and it is a lot of work because you have to soak them and that's a lot Like in your bathtub with a bunch of water and then I don't have time .
Speaker 2You gotta scrape some across the house .
Speaker 1I don't have time for that , yeah that's a lot .
Speaker 2But the kitchen towels , like I said , I throw them in the washing machine with a cup of vinegar , a little sprinkle of baking soda , let it fizzle up and hot water .
Speaker 1Okay , Hot hot water , Hot hot water .
Speaker 2Okay , I'm gonna try it and I'm telling you my towels are now drying dishes again . I was so frustrated I was ready to throw out towels , but- .
Speaker 1You were ready to throw in the towel literally . You throw in the towel literally . Yes , I was All right . Tell me what is your signature dish Blondies everyone asks me to bake blondies .
Speaker 2All of my friends love blondies . I bake them with chocolate chips and walnuts . That's kind of my jam Delicious . I can whip them up easily .
Speaker 1I love things that are like a cookie , but they're in one pan so I don't have to sit there- .
Speaker 2Oh , yes , then a blondie is definitely it . Yeah , yeah , I love and it's thick and chewy and not too much chocolate .
Speaker 1Yes , okay , good deal . Maybe you might wanna share that recipe with us . Definitely will , I will , okay . Well , some people are like they guard they're secrets , but if you would share if you would share , that would be awesome
. Okay , all right , let's talk about the art of home .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1So how do you see homemaking as an art and where do you find beauty in the homemaking ?
Speaker 2Oh , using . I see it as an art because it is using my personality to create an environment and experience for someone . It really is my personality . In the home it's cozy , knit blankets , there's a candle burning , and all of that to create an environment that I want someone to feel , to give them the feelings that I want them to feel . Just like anybody that paints a picture , they paint it because they want you to feel something when you see it . They write a song because they want you to think about something when you see it . But when someone comes here , it's like oh , I want you to be cozy , I want you to see nice fluffy wool blankets on the couch , put your feet up and have some tea .
Speaker 2And have some tea . Yes , so that's how it's an art to me . You really are using yourself to create an environment for someone else to enjoy .
Speaker 1I love that , yep . Okay , what's one thing about homemaking that you're thankful for ?
Speaker 2It has slowed me down immensely . When I was in the military , like I said , I was in for 20 years and I was stationed at eight different bases and deployed four different times . And now , even after I retired , I've could have gone out and gotten another job . But now I am peaceful . I don't feel like I have to rush to be anywhere or do anything .
Speaker 2I know my hubby , I know what he likes , I know what he doesn't like , I know what his cycle is , as far as when he's very hungry , when he's not hungry , when he's sleepy , because I'm here and I'm around him . I know my family , I have time to call them . I talk to my sister all the time now and it has slowed me down enough to not just know what's going on in my life but know what's going on in other people's lives . Yeah , and I think that homemaking has that is . I'm so thankful for that that being at home and caring about what goes on in my home has given me that perspective of let me see what's going on with so and so , Mm-hmm , you know so .
Speaker 1I love that . I love that . So I want to talk to the other women , the older women and the younger women . So we'll start . Oh , hang on , I got a bug in my eye . Oh , no , yeah , we have an infestation of gnats . We have , I'm gonna have to get rid of all my plants . I think they're everywhere . Do you have this problem ?
Speaker 2Yes , they're in restaurants . We don't run the gnats , they're fungus gnats that's what they're called apparently . Well , I have a couple that I keep in the den , and when we went away for a weekend and it got too humid in the house , we came back and there were gnats all over , so I had to sit it outside for a little while , but they're everywhere .
Speaker 2I mean I've got , like I've tried all the things , the traps I've got you know the vinegar , the vinegar , and don dish detergent , sit it out there , put some sugar in there and yes , and that works .
Speaker 1But I think the problem is is they're multiplying so quickly because they breed in the soil ? Yes , and if you don't kill them in the soil , like kill the eggs , they multiply so quickly .
Speaker 2You can never have you tried putting something in the soil of your plant .
Speaker 1We did . My husband was experimenting with doing it's like a peroxide , like you do a like a peroxide solution , yep , and he did that once and that seemed to help a little bit . But I actually one of the plants died , so I don't know if it was from the peroxide . Yes , it got a little too much .
Speaker 2I think that's what I did with the pathos . I did put it in . I put some peroxide in the soil or peroxide water mix .
Speaker 1So yeah , all right . Well , okay , let's do these last couple of questions . How can ? Okay , I wanna talk to the older women and the younger women , but let's start with the older women first . How can the older women help your generation of homemakers thrive in their practice of the art of home ? How can they come alongside you and encourage you ?
Speaker 2We want to know what you know . I would say that we're not all too far gone , we're not all anti-homemaking , and I think just having conversations with us about homemaking would definitely help , because then it would let us know oh , I can go to her and ask her about this , as opposed to just saying oh , all these young women , they just work and that's all they're concerned about is their jobs . So I'm not gonna bother them because they're too busy , and I hear that a lot , that they think that we are overly busy .
Speaker 2So and I know it's a two-way street but yes , we wanna know what you know .
Speaker 1Yep , we do . Okay , how about the younger women ? What's a word of advice or encouragement that you would give to the women coming behind you ?
Speaker 2Be a little bit more humble and reach out to local women . They are not . I don't think older or younger women are very apt to approach older women . I know that sometimes we can be very standoffish , but I would say reach out , extend that olive branch . Like I said earlier , I know it's a two-way street , but someone has to make the first move and if the older women are thinking that the younger women don't care and the younger women are thinking that the older women aren't interested , then no one helps anyone Exactly . But I believe that the younger women should be the ones to reach out because they have the means . They are the most mobile . They're out in the coffee shops , they're out at the schools with their kids , they're in the parks with their kids and they see other women , whereas older women , I don't think , are out as much . We go very few places . We go to church , knit group dinner with the husband and home .
Speaker 1Sometimes my husband don't go out of town and he'll be like did you go anywhere for the last two days ? I'm like , no what ? I checked the mail . Yes .
Speaker 2I went to the mailbox . I went to the mail box . Yes , but yeah . But I do believe , I think that younger women have more reach . You know , I think that they are on the social medias .
Speaker 2They're on the you know they're joining the websites . They're , you know , setting up a whatever account Tik Tok , snapchat , whatever . So that's what I would say . You know it's going to require a little bit of humility sometimes to say you don't know and can you help . So that's what I would say to reach out , like physically reach out , to local women , be it church , library , the parks , the coffee shops , wherever you know . A smile and a good morning will go a long way .
Speaker 1Absolutely . I completely agree . Well , so can people find you on with all your knitting adventures ? Is that a public account ? It is a public account .
Speaker 2It is a public account . Yes , all of my knitting adventures are out on Instagram . Okay , all right . Yes , what's your it is ? You want me to spell it out ? Yeah , it is Ms Corita Fuller . So M R S K E R I T A F U L L E R , and that is all of the knitting adventures , all of the knits , all of the yarns , the field trips , the fun .
Speaker 1Yes , Okay , I'm excited . I'm excited to see that I'm going to . I'll put the link in the show notes so people can go check out all that you're doing . And , hey , maybe you'll get somebody to come on your on your next field trip with you . I would hope so .
Speaker 2I hope someone does . It is their blast . Like I said , we , our knit group is always open . We want to teach people to knit . We want to teach other ladies to knit . There we have crocheters . Of course , they're not all knitters . Some people crochet and but yeah , it's fun .
Speaker 1Listen , listen . My mom is a big knitter and a big traveler and if she hears this episode she's going to be like I am , so in for that . Yes .
Speaker 2She should go to on the Irish knit tour . She should go to knit Barcelona .
Speaker 1There's Barcelona , scotland , there's . My goodness , oh , how fun Tour is all over .
Speaker 2I'm telling you how fun .
Speaker 1All right , it's a whole new world Open up . All right , corita , thank you so much for being on the art of home and sharing your story of home .
Speaker 2It's been really , it's been really fun . Yes , it's been a blessing , so fun .
Speaker 1I'm so glad . I'm
so glad All right , bye , bye .
Speaker 1Thank you for listening to this homemade portrait of Corita Fuller . I hope you have found encouragement and inspiration that you can implement right away in your own home making . There certainly was a lot of good food for thought in this discussion and here are just a couple of my top takeaways . The selflessness of home making and mothering , corita said . Upon gaining her instant family after many years of single life , she quickly realized that being a mom is a very unselfish role to take . God put us into families to learn compassion and self-sacrifice , and our flesh wants to fight against that because it ultimately requires dying to yourself , your desires , your rights for the good of another . But it is in that act of self-forgetfulness and self-sacrifice that we most resemble our savior and find true life and freedom . And he said to all if anyone would come after me , let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me , for whoever would save his life will lose it , but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it . Luke 9 , 23 through 24 .
Speaker 1Likewise , corita's perspective on how home making builds community through the welcoming posture of the homemaker was very insightful . Through the daily training of serving in our homes , she said , you start to carry yourself everywhere you go with an attitude that says I'm available , I'm here to help , and people pick up on that and are drawn to it , because everybody wants help and comfort when they're in need and everybody wants to feel a sense of belonging . And that is what we do all day long , homemaker . So don't let it stop at your front door . Carry yourself with that posture of welcoming , generous selflessness everywhere you go , by keeping your eyes fixed straight ahead on Jesus . And if you find yourself annoyed and irritated with people outside or inside your home , check your posture . Are you looking at Jesus ? Are you letting him teach you the way of selflessness and sacrificial love ? He's really good at it and he's a patient teacher .
Speaker 1If you want more homemaking encouragement , be sure to sign up for our free weekly newsletter , homemaker Happy Mail . It goes out on Friday morning and we'll have detailed show notes from this episode as well as some other helpful homemaking resources for you . Go to theartofhomepodcastcom slash subscribe to sign up . And speaking of the newsletter , we have an audio version of the newsletter as a special thank you to our Titus to Women monthly supporters . For $5 a month , you can partner with us and receive access to that audio version . We also welcome one time tips through by Mia Coffee and , of course , we appreciate when you support us by sharing the show with other homemakers and taking the time to rate the show and write a review on your podcast player app . I so appreciate all of your support and if you want more information about how to give , share and review , head over to theartofhomepodcastcom slash support . Well , that's all for this episode . I will be back next week with a brand new homemaker portrait . Until then , keep practicing your art of making a home .