Homemaker Portrait | Pam Stockdale

I am chatting with seasoned homemaker of 45 years, Pam Stockdale. Pam was nominated by her daughter, Kristen Howard, who was a guest on The Art of Home several years and ago and who has written a few pieces for our newsletter. 

Pam is genuine, forthright and her love for her husband, home and family is only outshined by her love for Jesus. We talk about her whirlwind romance/courtship and engagement with Jim…believe me , you’ve never heard one quite like theirs! 

Then we cover their time as traveling evangelists, horse trainers, ranchers and even airplane owners spanning 45 years of married life as well as Pam’s reflections on how being raised by her widowed father and some influential women in her life shaped the homemaker she became. 

Through it all, God has bent His ear time and again to Pam’s prayers and provided answers to questions she didn’t even know to ask, because He is that good. His provision has allowed Pam & Jim to "live loud and wide open," staying rooted in the things that matter most. 

RESOURCES & LINKS

Show Notes blog post with Pam's biscuit recipe! theartofhomepodcast.com/blog search "Pam Stockdale"

Pam's Book: Snapshots: Moments Captured in a Flash 

Transcript

Allison 0:02

Hello, homemakers, and welcome to the Art of Home podcast, where we are exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong. I'm your host, Allison Weeks. I am a wife, a mom, a granny, and I've been practicing the Art of Home since 1992. Welcome back, all of you listeners. Whether you're new here or you've been around for a while, I'm honored that you're gonna trust me with some of your valuable time today, and we're gonna hear a brand new interview from a seasoned homemaker. But before we get to that, let's check the mailbag, shall we? This is the part of the show where I respond to messages and I answer questions that you all have sent me either via email, voicemail, or one-way text message. This mailbag segment is brought to you by listeners who support the Art of Home through Buy Me a Coffee. Buy Me a Coffee is a virtual tip jar where you can show your appreciation and support for the show by giving a one-time tip or by becoming a Titus 2 Woman supporter and setting up a recurring tip of $5 per month. Titus2 Women supporters receive my undying gratitude and the occasional perk, such as free printables and free registration for the recipe exchange and other fun things. Whichever way you choose to give, I am grateful for your support. Several of you have sent me some great ideas and thoughts about an episode on mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. I really appreciate your feedback, ladies. If any of the others of you listening have some thoughts on that subject, please drop me a text or an email. Emily from New Hampshire writes about Monday motivation number 44, all in good time, gently entering the new year. I loved this episode. My goal was to slow down this year, but then immediately made a list of all the projects and orders I needed to do for people for a book I'm hoping to self-publish, plus a trip to Europe with my husband and baby, and so much more. There are a lot of plans to this year, but I realize I need to take it one day at a time. And I want to prioritize a place of peace and rest in my home more than making it look like how I picture it should be or have a list of things that I finally got to. Oh, Emily, I can so relate. Even after producing that episode, I still had to remind myself and continue to have to remind myself to practice what I preach in this area. So here's to taking things one day at a time. And Shandy from Wisconsin had this feedback for our deep dive on planning your homemaking year. Hi, Alison. Great start to 2026. What resonated with me was borrowed glory, using my talents for God, the to-da list, and looking ahead at what works versus what needs work. I loved when Jessica mentioned adding something to the to-do list that's already been completed so that it can be checked off. So me. When you were discussing where to get ideas from for things like making cleaning the bathroom easier, you mentioned getting ideas from friends, etc. I thought of the Art of Home podcast as a place that I get ideas from. That's so good to hear, Shandi. And I am also one of those write it on the list just so I can cross it off people. And the borrowed glory concept is one that I also have been thinking of since we did that episode. And I saw that emoji code on your text. So gold star for you. Thank you for listening all the way to the end. And Chloe from Georgia texted an answer to my question at the end of last week's homemaker portrait of Colleen Rockwell about ways to show hospitality. We have a green egg grill. My husband had tried so many grilled pizzas, and we finally have a good unburnt pizza. We like to show hospitality by having neighbors and friends over uh on our back porch for pizza fresh off the grill. Yummy. That sounds delicious. I just found your podcast this week. I'm so grateful as I just started off this year trying to intentionally plan out my days and take time for rest. What a God praise that your last few episodes line up just right with what God has been working in my heart. God bless and comfort during this time with your grandmother. Thank you for your condolences, Chloe, and thank you for listening. I'm so glad that you found the podcast. And I see that emoji in your text. So gold star for you. If you have something to share about how the podcast has impacted your homemaking or what you are learning lately as a homemaker, I would love to hear about it. You can send me an email, contact at theartofhomepodcast.com, or send me a text using the link in the episode description box. It is a one-way text, so I cannot text you back and I can only see where you are texting from. So be sure to tell me your name and if you would like a direct reply, include your email address as well. Also, keep in mind that I may read your message on a future episode. So if you would like for me to keep it confidential, please say that in your message. A couple of podcast housekeeping tasks before we get into today's episode. This season, our winter 2026 season will be a little different. I'm going to release all eight episodes of Monday Motivation through March the 2nd. However, uh there will only be six long-form Wednesday episodes this season. I'm working on a very big and very exciting new project for the Art of Home, which I will tell you more about very soon. I promise. I need those two weeks to work on said project and just get my head wrapped around all of the many, many, many, many details that are involved. So Wednesday, February 18th will be the final long form episode of this season with two more Monday motivations to follow. Then the spring season will launch April 6th with a full eight-week release schedule on Monday and Wednesdays. Which brings me to the other piece of business I wanted to remind you of. Applications and nominations for the spring season are now open. So go to the Artof Home Podcast.com/slash guest for more information and the links to the forums to fill out. Now, on to today's episode. I am chatting with seasoned homemaker of 45 years, Pam Stockdale. Pam was nominated by her daughter, Kristen Howard, who was a guest on the Art of Home several years ago and who has written a few pieces for our newsletter. Kristen says of her mom, I cook, clean, wash sheaths, and spend my days as a homemaker because of the conviction of my mother. She believed her highest calling was inside the home. She was the heart of our home. I know you will enjoy your time visiting with my mother. And boy did I ever. Pam is genuine, forthright, and her love for her husband, home, and family is only outshined by her love for Jesus. We talk about her whirlwind, romance, courtship, and engagement with Jim. Believe me, you've never heard one quite like theirs. Then we cover their time as traveling evangelists, horse trainers, ranchers, and even airplane owners spanning 45 years of married life, as well as Pam's reflections on how being raised by her widowed father and some influential women in her life shaped the homemaker she became. Through it all, God has bent his ear time and again to Pam's prayers and provided answers to questions she didn't even know to ask, because he is that good. His provision has allowed Pam and Jim to quote, live loud and wide open, staying rooted in the things that matter most. I'll be back at the end with some closing reminders and this episode's long haul listener emoji code. Whatever you are applying your hands to as you listen today, I know you will enjoy Pam's Story of Home. Welcome to the Art of Home. I'm here with Pam Stockdale, and Pam is a seasoned homemaker. She is mother to Kristen Howard, who was a guest on our show a couple of years ago, and she has written some things for us in the newsletter. And Kristen nominated her mom Pam. Actually, it was a Christmas present. And so I just that was so sweet. And I'm so excited to hear your story today, Pam. But before we get into all the background of how you became a homemaker and all of those years of uh homemaking experience, just say hi to everybody. Tell us a little bit about Pam today.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Hello, everyone. Yes, I am uh extremely excited to be a guest on The Art of Home. Thank you, Allison and my daughter, Kristen. What a treasure you are. Um, I'm 64 years old. Uh thank you, Jesus. I've I've made it this far. Uh I there's just there's so many things I guess I could say about my life, but I can say that I have a wonderful husband who bless his heart. I I say he is the man that God set aside for me. Nobody else could have handled me. Uh but anyway, I my husband and I right now are in the middle of a remodel. We just purchased some land and uh wow, we just live life loud and wide open, Alison. That's all I know to say. Do you have any are you are you keeping animals on your land or uh we just purchased this piece of property the first last uh no uh November we moved into a fixer-upper house? Oh, this is brand new. Okay. This this is the house, like I said, is a fixer-upper, but there's lots of land. We have we own horses and we can get into that. We own horses. My husband is a horse trainer.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

And um it's it's a well, it's a large tract of land for us. We've never owned this much land, which is is good. And um, it's good for our horse business. And so we are just um, we're excited about the adventure. You know, we're just we just always like to to go and do. We're not one of those people who sit down very often.

Allison 10:55

Oh well, I I can kind of tell that already. And I remember about the horses from when I talked to Kristen. That's why I was wondering. So this is something you're you're gonna be building on so that you can have horses on this land and and grow. That's so cool and very encouraging to me. Um, I'm about a decade behind you. And so I I'm not ready to like slow down and you know, no, no, no, live smaller at this point.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

No, no. That's right. That's right. Because I asked myself, if if you slow down, slow down, what are you slowing down for? Right. You know, um, what I have found about people that retire, I mean, re retire from life, is a lot of times they shortly die right after they die. And I'm thinking, if you're going to retire, have something to do right afterwards, yes, have another hobby or travel or something.

Allison 11:43

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, so um, let's get into your background. Okay. When did you first become a homemaker? And did you have any skills?

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Oh, wow. Okay. If by homemaker you mean when did I get married? Yes, uh, I got married at the age of 19. My husband was 21. We have been married for 45 years. Hallelujah. Congratulations. Uh, thank you. And Allison, my husband and I have quite the story that I will put in a nutshell. Okay. We we met and married in three weeks' time.

unknown 12:20

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah, that right there is a pause and think about it. Wow. Yeah. He was a um traveling and event, traveling evangelist, and he came and spoke at our church, at my home church in Greenwood, Mississippi. And oh my goodness, I don't know what to tell you. We just sort of we had that knowing. He had it and I had it. And uh our pastors, the pastor's wife, she introduced us. And from Monday night until he left on the next uh Saturday, I guess, uh we spent a lot of time together. And on Wednesday, after being introduced on Monday, on Wednesday of that week, two days later, he asked me to marry him. I know, I know. Oh my gosh. I know. I told my girls, I said, you can do that if you want to, but you will have a wedding. I will not let you miss that part. Um, so with that said, uh, my girls did not do that. They they didn't have long courtships, but they did know their husbands longer than I knew mine.

Allison 13:31

Longer than a few days.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Longer than a few days, yeah. So, and Jim and I, I don't know what to say other than the fact that for some reason we were like best friends from from day one. And uh we did everything together. He was a state evangelist for the church we were both members of, and uh we traveled the state of Mississippi for two years and um just just loved it, just loved it. Uh I I would like to uh insert something here. I was uh right before my 19th birthday, my best friend had moved away. My sister and I were are the best of friends. We're just 11 months apart, we're Irish twins, they say. Yeah, but she had a boyfriend, and so I didn't. So I had a best friend named Sheila, and uh Sheila and her family moved away. And when Sheila moved away, we did everything together. And I got very sad. I was extremely lonely. And um, I laid in my bed one night and I might get choked up, and I asked the Lord to just take me. I said, um, I'm just not happy, I'm lonely. You know, what what can you have for me to do? And I said, well, Lord, I said, if I'm not going to die, I would like to travel. And I said, I would like to travel even if it's in the state of Mississippi. And uh it's so funny because I met my husband. Uh my birthday is August the 9th. I turned 19 August the 9th. I married him September the 10th. So one month and one day after, pretty much after I prayed the prayer. And from that, I want people to see that God hears you. God's listening. He sort of bends his ear and uh he pays attention to us. And furthermore, he knows my heart. He knew I loved him more than anything. And uh, I married a man that loved Jesus, and uh, we traveled in the state of Mississippi for two years, and after those two years, we went all over the United States, and uh now we've been in several uh places of the world, but anyway, had to throw that nugget in there. Thank you. Thank you, that is awesome. Yeah, who does that, right? I know in 45 years of marriage, I've never met anyone that met and married in three weeks' time, and like I said, I don't I don't advise it, but it did work for us. It did work for us, yeah.

Allison 16:13

So, oh my goodness. Okay, so you know you were 19 and you didn't, so you're traveling those first couple of years, so you didn't really have a home base. Did you stay with people as y'all traveled around the state, or how did that work?

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Good question. Uh my husband at the time owned a 22-foot travel trailer. Oh, he he lived in the travel trailer, so I just joined him in the uh 22, 22 feet of living. And uh it was it was very tight. Of course, there were no children, not for three and a half years later, but uh we traveled and back in the day, this was in 1980 when we married. So back in the day in our organization, they did what they called revivals, and uh we would we would uh start a revival on Sunday night, we would end on Friday, we would travel on Saturday and do the setup again. And Jim's requirement with our organization was he had to preach, I believe it was three weeks out of four, and so we had a schedule, and so we were um traveling just in the state of Mississippi for two years. And after the two years, we joined uh still the same organization, but we became known. We joined a part of our organization that was known as National Evangelist, and our area to travel was west of the Mississippi River. Okay, and we could we could travel anywhere we got an invitation west of the Mississippi. Okay, okay, but we did live in that so that was your home, was that travel trailer? That was my little home. It was okay.

Allison 17:55

How was how was homemaking in a 22-foot travel trailer?

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Uh, you know what? Everything has its place. Um, bless my sweet daddy's heart. Um, my daddy taught me uh everything had a place. And the reason I say just my daddy, I could go into my own. Okay, tell us a little bit about your history because I know that's a big part of your story. Okay, it is, it is. Um, my mother died when I was six years old. My sister was seven, my brother was eight, so we were six, seven, and eight. And um, my father raised us, he kept us together. He had to separate us one time for just a few months um due to some uh zoning area uh in our small town. And uh daddy was um oh the king of the hero of my heart, I said. I wrote a poem about him after uh he passed away at the age of 84. He's been gone four years this um October. So, but anyway, my sweet little mama passed away at the age of 25. She was a very young bride, she was a very young mother. Um, I remember some things about her, not not an awful lot. Um, but I I've never heard anybody say anything bad or wrong about mama. She uh evidently was just a a sweetheart. So that's just kind of how we we we like to remember her. Uh and I'm losing track of what your question was.

Allison 19:22

Well, we were talking about your your story about how you learned your homemaking essentially because your mama died so young. And my daddy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

I was gonna say is my daddy, oh, living in the in the small area of the of our 22-foot camper, uh, my daddy was um he was always home. I mean, he worked a job, but he saw to it that we had housekeepers and um that we got off to school every day. Daddy was there when we went to bed at night, and daddy was there when we woke up in the morning. He was um he was my hero. He was our hero. And um he he taught us that if you got it out, put it up. If you turn the light on, turn it off. If you open the cabinet, shut it. If you open the door, shut it. And um I, man, I just really took that. Yeah, you know, and that's how I'm I'm a very I try to be an organized person with um the things that I'm given charge over. So anyway, it was very close quarters, but my husband, I would have to say, uh, he's a little more, leaves things open or out. And I say, you're gonna need to shut that door. So anyway, it was snug as a bug in a rug.

Allison 20:34

I'm sure, yeah. Where did you do your laundry? Did you have to visit laundromats?

SPEAKER_00 20:39

I absolutely did. And uh as my daddy once said, who uh daddy said, I said, Daddy, if you had to um keep something that you that you what's your prized possession? And he said, it's a wash machine because he remembered, he said, we used to have to walk to the creek and get the water and bring it back. And I said, Oh, and he had the best stories to tell. And so I have to say now, after laundry mats, uh, it being a part of my history, I say, that's one of my prize possessions, is a is a washing machine and a dryer, and they're wonderful. Uh so I did that for many years, and we graduated to a 35-foot camper and then eventually a 40-foot camper, and we put washing machine and dryers in both of those. So no more laundromats. Yes, yes.

Allison 21:33

I did the laundromat thing for several years. I married very young, also. We were still in college. So I did the laundromat thing for a while, and when we got our first washer and dryer, oh, that was a happy, happy day.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Isn't it? It absolutely was a very happy day. Yes.

Allison 21:49

So when did y'all um graduate out of travel trailers and into a permanent dwelling place somewhere?

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Okay. Oh, wow. That's that's uh jumping way ahead. Because we can cover that later if it's well um what happened with us, let me see here um where we're where we're going. Um what happened with me and Jim, we traveled in Mississippi and Kristen, our old well, you met Kristen, our oldest daughter was born in the same hometown I was born in, Greenwood, Mississippi. And then when we got the position of national evangelist with our church organization, we traveled west of the Mississippi. And I I I've got a unique story here that uh it goes back to what I said about God is always listening. We were out west with okay, we were out west with no children at this time. Kristen didn't come along till three and a half years. We were already traveling out west at the time. However, I did go, I did go back to Mississippi to give birth to Kristen. Okay. So, but we had we did a around the West tour. And while we were on that first tour with no children, we were going through South Dakota on Interstate 90. And I, you know, my husband was a cowboy at the time. He he did not have horses, but he had the heart of a cowboy. And my daddy raised us on old westerns, black and white movies, and to this day, the kids, the grandkids, everybody loves old black and white movies. So with that said, we're out west, we're on Interstate 90, and believe it or not, the tumbleweed comes blowing down the highway. Girl, I thought I was married to Matt Dillon and I was Miss Kitty. And I was ready, and the words came out of my mouth. I said, if the Lord ever calls you to pastor, I hope He puts you right in the middle of the Dakotas. And the Lord is my witness. This is this is the gospel truth. We ended up pastoring a church in Pierce, South Dakota. We we started the church, and after many years of living there, that town, there's two markers in that town. One of them is the center of the state, and the other one is the center of the, I believe it's the United States, continental, the United States. It's the divide area there. My husband can explain that story better, and he's gonna say, I could have done a better job. But God answered very specifically. It's what you're saying. Is that I I said, boy, we I'm a I'm a very uh picky person about the words of your mouth. I I I tell people, you know, you need to be careful about what you say. And so anyway, he did it. He did it. So for 15 years, we ended up living in South Dakota, raising our kids there. Our youngest daughter, Brittany, was born in uh Pier, South Dakota. Okay, and so I have a Mississippi baby and I have a uh South Dakota baby.

Allison 25:05

Okay, all right. Was it a big transition to go from trailer living to house living or ranch living? Um was it difficult?

SPEAKER_00 25:13

Difficult, no. Uh what it what it was, it was liberating. It was like, yeah, yes, yes. I think I lost 10 pounds, you know. In travel trailers, you just reach over and grab what you want, but in a house you actually have to cross a room. Yes, yeah, for sure. It's really yeah, it's crazy.

Allison 25:35

Oh gosh, what a but I loved it. What an amazing, just sweeping saga of a story. Okay, and I'm sure we're gonna get more. Um but I want to hear about who who I'm guessing maybe it was your daddy, who who most influenced your homemaking, would you say?

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Okay, yeah, I I I would have to say um I've got I listed three people, and the reason I listed these three people was because um my father, after my mother died, uh my mother was my daddy's world. He he he loved her. And uh after he after she died, I I was given this information by this party. Um Shirley became is a lady that's she's like a mama to me. My my father dated her for about 10 years, and uh Shirley was a single lady and her sister was single, and they both lived in a home, and they her mother lived with them. So it was Granny Brower, Shirley, and Aunt Joyce. Well, Shirley dated my daddy, like I said, for those 10 years. And listen, she did everything with us. She she um she taught us how to cook, she taught us how to uh I'm gonna say my daddy was a drill sergeant, I guess, but anyway, you know, to make up the bed, to make things pretty, to make things girly. My daddy didn't understand that. He didn't know how to do that, so Shirley helped us. Um, I have a brother. My daddy taught my brother, you open the door for a lady, you close the door, you say yes, ma'am, you say no, ma'am, you salute the flag, you kneel at the cross. I mean, these are things that you do. And um, you treat people with respect. It doesn't matter the color of their skin, it doesn't matter the language they speak, you just treat people with the same integrity and and honesty and kindness that you want to be treated with. And um, and then Shirley, like I said, Shirley is the one that took us to church. Um, my daddy went to church, however, not as often as Shirley required. Shirley told daddy, if we're going to date, your kids are going to go to church every time the doors open. And we did. Doesn't matter if it was cleanup day or if it was uh Bible study, we were going to church. And so uh Shirley was to this day, she's like she's like mama to me. She's she's still alive, and she's I think she's oh goodness, I think she's 84. She may be 85, but I think she's 84. I talked to her several times a a week. And um, then there's Jim's mom. I married Jim at 19, and I call mom Stockdale, I call her mom. Um, I don't know at what age I was that it just spilled out of my mouth, and sometimes the word mama comes out faster. Yeah. Faster than I can think. But she's uh I watched Jim's mom and dad. Uh Jim's father passed away this last year, and um it was very hard on all of us. Uh, but mom, mom and dad were inseparable. They were married 69 years. Wow, and um they live on the same place that um they purchased, let's see, I believe now we're up to 54 years of living uh there on the home place. And uh mom and dad were just uh bedrocks, they were steady, they never missed church that I know of. When they went on vacation with the family, believe it or not, they were the type that they looked for a church. And I'm thinking, who does that? I'm going on vacation to get out of routine, not to stay in routine. And um, that's just who they are. Dad would sit at the table and mom would sit right beside him and he'd just reach over and he'd just hold her hand. So my husband is the best. He doesn't uh he doesn't raise his voice unless I've said too much and it's Pam. And I know he means business. And that's the way dad was with mom. He would just say, Mom, and and we knew, you know, that our men had had enough, that they were they were ready uh to move on. They were ready for peace to come back into the house. And um my Jimmy is uh he's the best. It's like I said, God knew. God knew I needed, God knew I needed him. And and his joke to me is God knew you you needed me. He he knew he knew a weaker man couldn't have you. So I think that's true.

Allison 30:37

Okay, well, that brings up an interesting, an interesting um segue into the next question, which is about strengths and weaknesses. So what it sounds like you're a pretty strong-willed person. Um what would you say is your greatest homemaking strength as far as being a keeper of the home and all that entails? What's your greatest strength?

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Okay, um, I thought up this all on my own, and I and I don't, you know, you don't want to uh feather your hat too much, but I asked my husband and I asked Kristen, and they all said it, um, hospitality. I mean, for me and um my husband, it's not like the we don't have a a swinging door, but you're just welcome here. I mean, the the the doors open. Uh I in our 45 years, there are so many people that have made the comment um we don't want to go home. Oh and I said, Well, you don't have to, but you do have to turn the light out when you do. We're going to bed. So that's just been kind of the joke. But um, you know, we just we love people, we like to to be with people. Um, I love table talk. I could do this all day. Uh maybe not recorded. But I could uh I could sit at the table with you and listen to your story just as much as you want to hear mine. And uh, you know, I want to know you, I want to hear about you. Uh, I can tell you something that I don't like, and maybe this would be considered uh a weakness, but Kristen gave me something else that she said I should say, but uh a weakness for me is um I do not care to hang around negative people. I'm not a negative person, and negative people really throw me. Uh I'm pretty plain spoken. If uh I worked at a a lady's dress shop once in South Dakota, and you know, the idea is to sell the sell the merchandise. And uh, if you ask me, what does do you think this looks nice? And if I thought it looked terrible, I'm gonna tell you. I'm not gonna sell you those pair of pants. No, let's go find something else. So my employer didn't like that too well, but that's okay. Just I'm just honest. My husband tells me, well, you know, you could you could sugarcoat some of this. So anyway, that's funny. Go ahead.

Allison 33:14

Well, what was Kristen's suggestion about your weakness?

SPEAKER_00 33:17

For for weakness, she says um never satisfied. And what she means, and what and she she explained it, and I said, Um, I think you're right. She said, Um, things have to be perfect for you. If you're coming to my house, I'm going to sweat bullets until you get here because this house is going to be clean. And my husband says, it's already cleaned. And I said, Well, it's clean for you, not for me. And so she says, you know, you're always wanting more, but she said, you have your you have your borders, you have your um uh uh your borders, you're you're not going to not have them because it's not good enough. You absolutely will have company, you know, just come in. My friend once told me, she said, listen, if they're coming to see you, tell them to make an appointment. But if they're coming to see you, just say come on in. And so that's what I have to do. I just have to say, if you're coming to see me, come on. But if you're coming to see my house, I'm sorry, if you're coming to see my house, make an appointment. Make an appointment. There you go. There you go. Okay. That's that's how it goes. Yeah. I get it. So I try not to, oh, I can't say that. I try not to want things perfected, but I like pretty things. And you know, don't you think sometimes those things have to do with our childhood and how we were raised? Because I can remember wearing some of the same outfits to school every single week because I was raised by a man. I had we had nice clothes. Uh Shirley would take us shopping. She would even buy us clothes. She would see to it that, believe it or not, we had clothes that were bought from the nicest stores in town, but she shopped from the 75% off rack. She did it for herself. Shirley did not marry my father. My father married someone else, and Shirley married someone else, and she married a man that had had wealth. And she could, she's flown all over the world, first class, lived in very, very, very nice million-dollar houses and drives very nice cars, but she's going to that 75% off rack. And I'm thinking, would you stop that? And her husband would say, Shirley, stop that. But she never did. Yeah. Um, so in saying that, I think I I call myself a a closah holic um because I don't like to be seen a lot in the same thing over and over and over again. I'll either give it away, take it to the thrift store, do something.

Allison 35:59

But yeah, it's anyway. It I think our how we were raised has absolutely that's and that's why I asked that question, you know, about who's influenced your homemaking, because whether we like it or not, uh the house we were raised in does influence our homemaking. Absolutely. And sometimes it influences it, like in the sense of I this is what I do not want for my home. You know, what you were raised in is is not what you want for your own family. And then sometimes it's no, this is what I want to emulate because I had these great role models. And then sometimes it's a mixed bag of both. So exactly. And we talk about that a lot on the show. That this is a this is what's so cool, and why it part of the reason why I called it the art of home is because it's unique to each person, and God is uniquely shaped you and shaped your husband and your kids to have this unique family culture that's gonna have unique systems and and rhythms and all of those things.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

So that's so true. And I think from my daddy, my daddy told me one time he said, My middle name's Kay, and my family knows me as Kay. He said, Kay, I want you to stop and smell the roses, and it's such a cliche, such a saying, you know. But at the time he was right, yeah, and and so now I can't pass a rose bush without hearing daddy. Um, but Shirley taught me to like finer things, but don't go into debt to get them. And that's a subject I'd like to talk about at some point. Sure. Sure, absolutely.

Allison 37:30

Well, let's talk about let's talk about expectations for a minute. What okay, what's something that you did not expect about homemaking, either good or bad, what surprised you about being a homemaker and caring for a home and family?

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Uh probably several things. You know, I think for me, uh I love books. I love to read books. Um my husband used to have to call me to bed at night one, two o'clock in the morning, because I'm sitting up reading romance books. And there came a time in my life I had to just fast them. I had to throw them away, as a matter of fact, for three years. Um, but anyway, I loved books and I had this Cinderella syndrome. I I, you know, we marry the our Prince Charming. He comes riding in on a white horse and he takes us to the big castle and all that. Uh uh, I guess what shocked me was I married a man in a 22-foot travel trailer. Yeah. What am I doing? Uh, but he took me on the journey that I craved. He he's he's God saw him, God saw my future and where we were going and what we were doing. So it's just yeah, absolutely wonderful. Um, and and I guess that's what shocked me the most or surprised me the most because I was the you know, let's marry the Prince Charming, let's, let's, let's buy the big house, let's live in the big house, let's make lots of money. I mean, I was living my my life in my head in the in my books, yeah.

Allison 39:00

Yeah you know, so I think it's it's a common um fallacy to like the idea of being married. Right, right, that we've built up in our head, and then when we have to face the reality of what marriage really is, which is you know, dying to yourself every day, right, right, and lowering expectations so that you're looking out for the others' interests and all of that kind of stuff, it's just not what it's generally, I think for most of us, not what we expected. So you're not alone in that, I guess is what I'm saying. Okay, good deal. And it I believe that's true. Uh so how about a special challenge? Uh you've had such a unique experience and such a unique story. Is there anything that really stands out um in in these 45 years, uh, maybe a financial struggle or you know, health issues or anything that you faced in this homemaking journey, and what did God teach you through that?

SPEAKER_00 39:57

Okay. Um, I probably uh let's see, as okay, um as a young mother, financial struggles. Um, I will say it like this. Uh, you know, we sort of live paycheck to paycheck, and then we finally started listening to um peach uh uh speakers that taught us about budgeting, taught, taught us about uh um what's his name? Dave Ramsey. And then there was another man before him. I can't, before Dave stepped on the scene.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:34

And anyway, he taught us the same thing Dave was teaching us, and uh envelopes or just just do, you know, budget your life.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

In other words, uh know where your money's going versus wondering where it went, you know, that that kind of struggle. Uh but in raising our kids, we it was it uh let me see where I'm trying to go here. It was um if we did not do the fancy vacations, we didn't buy the boats, we didn't have the jet skis, but my husband made some of our living from these horses, so we saw value in the horses. Everybody had a horse, so we rode horses, the kids did 4-H. Um and listen, there are people out there that that would be a dream, a dream come true to own one horse, much less to have four, you know. So everybody had a horse, everybody had saddles, and uh we got to go do those things, and we did everything as a family. We didn't divide and conquer because the only one that gets conquered is you. Um, we we stayed together. Um if like Kristen would play basketball, then we all went to go watch her play basketball. Brittany was mainly into horses. Kristen did track. We all went to watch Kristen do track. Uh Kristen was in 4-H also, and so we would they would do barrels, they would do poles and do things like that. So we just followed each other around like that. We all had bicycles. Uh, you know, we we just we just did. We didn't want to separate them. Um in my health, in in 2014, I was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and it was not a I'm sorry, I'm trying to make this fit in my ear better. It was a journey to I it was the lowest uh form of cancer that you could have. I've been cancer free for years now. I've done several, I I did a a few one treatment several different times, but that was in the early, you know, stages. And praise God, I'm I'm um out of that. So that has that was a journey that took me into the reason for my books. Uh I I did a um a blog. I blogged for four years, and in doing that, I turned those blogs into books. And they what I discovered was so many people were sick. My husband and I are not on any any medicines. We take vitamins, we exercise. We decided early on in our marriage that uh the joke was if you gain 20 pounds, I'm sending you home to mama. And if I gain 20 pounds, you can send me home to daddy. That that was our little joke. Um, but we've we've always stayed at a healthy weight. And um we're we're we're busy, we exercise. Our main exercise is walk two to three miles a day. And um so when I got bladder cancer, it was like Oh my goodness, we didn't see that coming. Yeah. What is that? Who are you? So it was a spiritual battle, it was a physical battle. And I I decided and and I learned that, oh my goodness, you're sick. People are sick. Yeah. And so I asked God how I could help. And so I started writing these blogs of encouragement. And I decided to be an encourager to whoever would listen. And so I I I wrote, I put out a weekly blog, and I turned uh two books. Uh there's actually three, but the third one is yet to be published. So anyway, uh there's there's two books. They both have 60 stories in them, and it they're called snapshots. And I guess the reason for snapshots is just a a short story into the life of Pam Stockdale. Yeah and and to encourage somebody that all hope is not lost, that God hears you, God sees you. And uh if you'll stand, I'm a faith person. I I I I love faith. I believe it's the language of heaven. And the Bible says without faith, it's impossible to please God. And so I I I want to please him so much. And so, and let me say this uh exercising faith is just like exercising a muscle. Yes, it's gonna hurt. Yes, yes, some things are gonna be painful, and you you either have to decide you're gonna throw in the towel or you're gonna say, No, God wants better for me than this, and He is good, and He is only good, and there's just too many scriptures in the Bible that just prove He's just good, yeah. And so I I just look for the goodness in God and I find it.

Allison 45:42

So, anyway, that was my that sounds like some good, some good writing that came out of that experience. Um it it I hope so. Yeah, yeah. We'll we'll make sure we link to that um in the show notes. Okay, and you mentioned already that y'all that you felt like hospitality was a a big strength for you. So I I would love to hear what what are some of the ways that you over the years have liked to show hospitality to others, just some practical ideas that might spur on the listener, give them something to think about for their own experience.

SPEAKER_00 46:14

Okay, okay. Um, I guess for for things to do uh in South Dakota, especially, and well, I I don't can't just blame it on South Dakota. We've done it everywhere we go, but that's where my kids were the youngest, and where we started. Uh, we did ice cream socials. We had ice cream uh parties at our house. We would we pastured a church and neighbors up the road, we would just open up the front yard, everybody would bring their own container of ice cream. We did homemade ice cream and and would play games out in the front yard. And um, we had we lived on 20 acres at the time, and the horses, of course, were out in the pasture. The kids would ride horses, we'd have ice cream, everybody'd sit around, bring their lawn chair, we'd talk and tell stories, and uh just a fun time. In the uh fall, we would have um we didn't we didn't really celebrate Halloween. So what we did was we had harvest festivals and we would have them at our house. We've we opened up our barn, we would play games, we'd bob for apples, we would so silly. We had a barn, yeah. We had a barn dance one time. My husband's a he's a musician as well as he's he's too many things to list, but anyway, he's a great musician, songwriter, um book writer, songwriter, singer. He's he's a lot balled up into one. And uh so he had a band and they would they would play and uh they would dance in the barn. You know, we all would dance in the barn and ride along with the chickens. I raised chickens. And you know, my kids, they they they they were involved in all of this. Yeah. Christmas was uh Christmas trees and you know, just just a part of life growing growing up. It's just we just did what we did. Um here's a a little tidbit of something that Jim and I started when we first had kids. This was I I I'm gonna blame it on Jim. It was his idea, but we say that our kids uh they joined our circle. They they joined our circle, they didn't get to rule the house. They didn't, they they never got to come between me and Jim, not even in sitting. They could either sit on my side or they could sit on Jim's side. And you know, of course, as infants, they sat in our lap, but I'm just saying they as teenagers, they didn't get to come plop down in between us. And Jim would always say, nope, sit on the other side of your mama, sit on the other side of me. And so that's just something that that we just always did. And Jim, this I think this was Jim's um reason for that, because he used to always say, our girls are gonna grow up and leave us one day. Yeah, and it's gonna be just me and you. That's right. And so he said, We have to stay close. Yeah, and we do, yeah, uh, because you know, divorce was never a word that was spoken in our home. We just it was never an option, and I do understand that that people go down that road, yeah. And and they go down that road, and I guess I'll have to say they should. No one should have to stay in an evil, abusive situation. I I I would not want to. So anyway, and I'll have to tell you that my husband and I like each other. We dislike each other. Well, so that's that's a plus. That's good. That is good. That is good. Did I answer your question, Hunt?

Allison 49:48

Yes, ice cream socials and and barn dances, and that sounds so delightful. Um, and you don't have to live on you know 22 acres to do that, listener. No, you can have pull out the ice cream and have the neighbors over if you live in an apartment or you know, wherever you're gonna be able to do it or a balcony. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Exactly. I grew up in an apartment. My husband, my husband, my daddy raised us mostly uh in an apartment. And and you know, we just we we did things, we knew people. So uh anyway, no, you absolutely don't have to have 20 acres and a horse. You can go for a walk in the park.

Allison 50:27

So, uh, what are some of the ways that you um set your priorities as a busy homemaker with, you know, three children and and horses and all of that? Um, what are just some of the ways that you would help keep your priorities in order, making making sure you made time for the Lord and and and obviously your marriage and and keeping those those things in the right order?

SPEAKER_00 50:49

Okay, okay. Um, I'm a I'm a routine kind of girl. Okay. And uh Jim, Jim was better at this in our in our in our earlier years. Jim was the the the man that he got up early, five o'clock. He would get up at five o'clock, and he would find another place to go. If it was in the travel trailer and there were no children, or when there were children in the travel trailer, he would get up and go into the church. Uh, because remember, we were always usually at a church for three weeks out of a month. And he would go into the church, and that would be his private time, his study time and and thinking time. And for me, when the kids were young, it was snatch it where you could. You know, you just snatch it where you could. I was the stay up late person. I could do my prayer and study at night when I wasn't reading the romance books. And uh, but that would be my time. Now, after the kids, you know, the empty nesters, the kids move out. Uh, we both get up early. We get up somewhere, but he gets up at four o'clock now, and I'm somewhere between four and five. And we we have our our places that we go to, and we have our Bibles and our books and um and we study. Not often uh together, even though in this fixer upper here, uh we're in the living room and he's he's in one recliner and I'm in the other recliner, and I'll just tell him, Nope, not ready to talk yet. Nope. And I'll say, hold that, hold that thought, and then he'll say same thing, nope, not ready to talk yet. And so, you know, you if you don't make the time, who's gonna make it for you? If you don't snatch your five minutes with God somewhere throughout the day, I feel like you're gonna be a very weak person, uh uh, a weak in faith. And and the reason I know this is because I've done it, I've done it so many times. Um an example, my husband is also an airplane pilot, and we we had an airplane for 20 years. He just sold it last year, but anyway, flew all over everywhere. And in that, there's oh, I wish I knew the name of it. It was right before Thanksgiving. Here's my story. It was right before Thanksgiving. I was just running around, I was in a tailspin, and I said, Jim, stop me and confronted me. And he said, Calm down. What what what is it? And I said, I don't know. All I do know is I haven't opened my Bible or prayed in three days. And he said, Well, baby, he said, you're in a downward spiral. And I said, Okay, give it to me. And he said, in flying, if you if you're out of control, and you have may have some listeners who are pilots, and I may destroy this illustration, but you're you're spiraling out of control, and what you want to do is take the controls and pull up, pull up, pull up. No, no, no, no. You're supposed to push down and it takes the plane and it goes like this. Okay, but if you're trying to pull up, it's you just stay stuck. And so Jim walked me through it. He's so good at the explan explaining that, and I am not, but he was right. And I said, Oh, baby, you're right. I know better than this. I know that I can't do that. Yeah, and so uh to your listeners, I I'm telling you, if five minutes is all you get to snatch at your desk, at your kiosk, if you're out in the woods, if you're in your truck, if you're on the way to pick up your children and you're in the school line, it doesn't matter where you are. There's enough podcasts like this right here to listen to as you're as you're on your way to to work and from work that you can just click on and listen to. Uh, keep your Bible handy. I listen to, I love Alexander Scorby. Uh he recorded the Bible and uh I love his accent. So anyway, I just click on him, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, Genesis, Exodus, wherever I want to listen. And and I just take my phone with me all the way around the house, all the time. And that's what I listen to. You know, I'm listening to the Bible, I'm putting the word in me. You know, I used to always answer my kids uh with the Bible. Kristen was probably the worst at this. She would say, Mom, why do you always answer my questions with the Bible? And I said, Well, Kristen, it's the only thing, it's the only real true answer. And she hated it. She hated it. She and I are so much alike. We butt heads a lot grow as she grew older. And so anyway, now we have a we have a very unique uh relationship. She's just, she's, I just, you know, both of my daughters were we're both very, very close and call every day. Gotta talk to her. Uh Kristen won't just call you if you don't answer. Uh, she she instantly calls right back. And and and she says, I'm not gonna give up. You're going to talk to me. I said, Okay, baby. That's so funny.

Allison 56:21

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 56:22

Yeah, it is.

Allison 56:22

Well, that's a good, that's that's good to know. That's good to hear. I'm sure those mamas out there that are parenting that child that they're butting heads with. It's always good to hear from the older mama that it it's worth the work, it's worth putting into that relationship. So it is. Yeah, it is. Okay, I'm gonna move on to a homemaking QA. Uh it's a it's a quick, rapid fire, but feel free to tell me a story if you have a good story about this. Okay, okay, okay. About homemaking tasks. Okay. What is a memorable homemaking fail?

SPEAKER_00 56:54

I once sold Mary Kay. I had a friend that uh he wrote, he he paid for it all. He got me into it. Uh, we were pastoring in South Dakota. He got me into it, and what I discovered shortly into it was that it took me away from my family at nights. And uh for me, I still wear some Mary Kay products, and I enjoyed so much doing it uh because it put me in table time with a bunch of women. I got to even encourage them, and they encouraged me. But for me, it was a failure. But it wasn't because it showed me what mattered most to me, and that was my family.

Allison 57:33

Oh, that's a good, that's a good lesson. All right, how about a memorable homemaking achievement?

SPEAKER_00 57:40

My husband said this, and I said, Jim, you're exactly right. He said, You're the mother of two daughters. And he said they stay, they're stay-at-home mothers, and they teach, they are also homeschoolers. And for me, I never worked outside of the home until I had my until my children went into first grade. And when they went into first grade, I became a teacher's aide at the school. So I was in school with them and I was out of school with them. And here's my saying if you want children, I feel like you should be the one to parent those children. I feel like, and I I you may get too much harsh feedback, but I feel like God gave them to me. I wanted to watch them roll over, I wanted to hear them say their first words, I wanted to watch them take their first steps. And when they went to school, I'm still a part of their life until they get married or go out of the home. I wanted to be there for them. I wanted them to always know, you can call mom. I'll be there. I got to go to their games, I got to go to their classrooms, I got to go on field trips with them. I didn't work an extra job. The income was small. We never depended on Pam's income to finance the home. My husband financed the home. He did it, not Pam. And that's just that's the way we worked it.

Allison 59:13

How about a favorite homemaking hack or tip? I make my own biscuits.

SPEAKER_00 59:20

I've never I've I don't buy store-bought biscuits. And plus, I have a tomato paste can that I've had for, if not 45 years, it's close to 45 years. And that's what I cut my biscuit. Oh, that's my biscuit cutter. Oh my goodness.

Allison 59:38

So there you go. Is that it? That is that good. That is a good hack and tip all in one. Make your own biscuits and use a can to cut them out.

SPEAKER_00 59:47

There you go.

Allison 59:48

I love that. Okay. Um I'm gonna come back to the biscuits in a minute. Okay, but a homemaking tool or product that you cannot live without.

SPEAKER_00 59:56

I have an iron skillet that I bought shortly after we got married. It's pushing 45 years old too. I use it probably once, oh gosh, once a week. That's I use it 20 times a week. Yeah, but anyway, that and a washing machine. Yeah, yeah, yes.

Allison 1:00:14

We've already talked about how much we love our washing machines. Yes. Um, have you been able to cook eggs on your iron skillet yet? I that's something I still can't do. Oh my! Oh yeah. Mine, mine is did you season it when you got it? Yes. I mean, I've had I've been married 33 years. So and I don't know. And you can't cook, I just cannot cook eggs. Maybe I'm not putting enough fat on there. Does it rec does it require a decent amount of grease or or butter?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:39

Well, my my husband, when we first got it, uh, we just covered it with uh like uh lard, baked it in the oven, and then um, you know, yeah.

Allison 1:00:51

I mean it's been seasoned. I've I use it to fry cornbread for 33 years.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:55

Okay, do you I mean do you w you don't you don't put suds water on it? Nothing. Yeah, okay. No, you just wipe wipe it out.

Allison 1:01:01

I'm gonna have to uh have somebody stand over me and teach me how to do it, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:05

Yeah, yeah. How about that?

Allison 1:01:07

Okay, well, I was just wondering.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:09

Okay, what is your signature dish? Pam's pecan pies. Ooh, Pam's pecan pies. I um I I sort of have a name for my pecan pies, and I I don't share the recipe. So everybody wants it, but I don't share the reason.

Allison 1:01:23

We're not gonna even ask. I mean, is there something like that's unique about your pecan pies without telling me the recipe? But is there some are they just the way that you put it together?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:33

I don't think so, but I've had people that say my grandmother makes the best pecan pies that there are, and and then they eat mine and they say, Well, I thought my grandmothers were the best, but so I don't know. I like them okay, but my husband loves them. He don't meet anybody else's.

Allison 1:01:50

I love that. Okay, so since you're not gonna share your pecan pie recipe, how about your biscuit recipe? Can you share your biscuit recipe with us?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:00

Uh I do, I don't measure anything. I probably two cups of flour and a large tablespoon of Crisco oil. I use my hands. I okay all of my grand, all of my grandkids make their Grammys. I'm known as Grammy. They make Grammys biscuits. So you're using flour and oil. I'm using self-riso white lily. Self-rising flour? Yes, ma'am. White lily. Okay. Self-rising flour. Okay, Crisco lard grease, uh, a large tablespoon and about two cups, two and a half cups of self-rising flour. And uh, I told you we try to do things healthy. I use skim milk, but I can use whole milk. It's just a matter of preference or taste. So anyway, my kids were raised on skim milk, sorry. And now they drink whole milk.

Allison 1:02:52

And so when you do your biscuits after you put your dough together, do you drop your dough? You don't roll them out. No, you do roll them because you cut them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:59

I don't, I I like you pad it. I pad it out, and then I never, and this is what I tell people, you're making biscuits, not bread. You don't need the dough. You just simply just I pour flour out onto the counter or parchment paper and pad out the the biscuit dough, and then use my biscuit cutter. And I put oil in my cast iron skillet, and then I I put oil on both sides of the biscuit. Okay, and then it makes them brown and crispy. And I cook them on 400 for probably 20, 25 minutes, depending on your oven. Yeah. Okay. And they're wonderful.

Allison 1:03:43

That sounds lovely. All right.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:44

Yeah. Good. And we make tomato gravy and chocolate gravy. Uh-oh. Oh, okay. I better not tell you about oh.

Allison 1:03:51

No, listen, I've I've heard chocolate gravy a few times on this show, and I had never heard of that before. But I've had you're the third person now to talk about chocolate gravy.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:00

So I bet Kristen was one other.

Allison 1:04:02

I don't remember if she mentioned it or not, but I bet she did. She probably did. Um, but tomato gravy, nobody's ever said that before. And and my husband's family makes tomato gravy, and that's how I learned. And I learned biscuits, his grandmother's biscuits, pretty much the way that you make yours. So tell me about your tomato gravy. What's in your tomato gravy?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:20

Uh I call it a roux. I use bacon grease. Okay. And I put bacon grease and then the flour, and I get it real, real brown. Okay. As much flour as I put in there depends on if I'm making it for two or for four or for 10. And and then I get the the roux very brown. And then I put in, I've gone to using in my earlier years I used uh fresh tomatoes, but I've gone to using the cans of tomatoes, uh, just diced tomatoes. And sometimes I will add uh tomato sauce. Uh you don't have to. I made it the other morning. Uh-oh. I made it made it the other morning with uh just tomatoes and lots of salt and pepper.

Allison 1:05:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:09

I'm a salt a holic. Don't, you know.

Allison 1:05:12

What do you and what do you serve that over? Like what do you biscuits with your biscuits? Just biscuits. Okay. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:16

Yeah.

Allison 1:05:17

So tomato gravy in my husband's family is something you serve over peas, like field peas or purple hole peas or black-eyed peas. And it's um more of a vinegar in oil. So like you put a can of tomatoes in a little saucepan, and then you add some oil and a little bit of vinegar, a little bit of sugar, and um a lot of pepper.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

Okay, we would call that a uh Jim's mother makes a green tomato uh relish and that we put on our peas. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Allison 1:05:50

Interesting. I always love to hear like regional, what do people you know call different things and what does that mean to you? It might not mean the same thing to me. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:57

You do hush puppies there in the in.

Allison 1:06:00

Uh, where are you from? Texas? Well, I live in Texas, um just north of San Antonio, but I was born in Louisiana and I grew up in the Gulf Coast of Florida, which is really lower Alabama.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:10

Right. I got you.

Allison 1:06:12

And my husband grew up there too, and all his family is from Alabama. Um Deep South. I grew up in the Deep South, but yes, we did hush puppies.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:21

They had never heard of hush puppies in South Dakota, and they had never heard of snow ice cream. So we taught them both.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:30

Interesting.

Allison 1:06:31

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:32

Yeah. So they they love hush puppies in South Dakota.

Allison 1:06:36

Okay. Well, good thing you were there to introduce them to that. So okay, we're gonna talk about the art of home. How do you say, how do you see homemaking as an art and where do you find beauty in it?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:50

How do I see homemaking as an art? Uh, I just for me, my home is an extension of me. Um, you know, I love to watch my ideas unfold before my eyes. I like to decorate. I love flower gardens. Um, flower gardens so much so that my daughter Kristen got married. She walked through my flower garden and stood before uh my flower garden that had very large crepe myrtles in them.

Allison 1:07:26

Lovely.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:27

And uh it was beautiful. It it really was a beautiful wedding. Uh so I I I guess does that does that answer is that what you're looking for? Yes, absolutely. Okay, it's nice. I like to decorate. I like uh I we built a home and a few years back and ended up selling it, but um I had the compliment that someone said they felt like they had just walked into Southern Living. And so I thought that's quite the compliment. I said I didn't do too bad. I did have some help. That is a good compliment. I love that.

Allison 1:08:03

What's one thing about homemaking that you're thankful for?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:09

It gives me an opportunity to give of myself to my family and my friends.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:15

Um, I love to, like I said, decorate, make a room homey for a guest. I like to set the table for guests. I I I I love the thrill of someone walking in and say, oh, that table is beautiful. And my girls do the same thing. They they they they will set a beautiful table for the party of one of my grandchildren or the party of their spouses and and and send the picture to me, you know, because they they jumped right in after me. Yeah. Uh it's just it's just fun.

Allison 1:08:51

I love that. That's good. Okay, we're gonna end our time with some tit some Titus II wisdom. Yes, I would love to hear from you words of advice, um, encouragement, admonition, warning. Yeah, just what would you say to all those younger women who are coming behind you as an encouragement to help spur them on in their own homemaking?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:22

Okay. Uh for me, uh let's see. Spend lots of time with a man that you married. Why did you get married if you don't want to spend time with the man that you married? You know, you're at at one point you're your high schools, you you're you're giddy little girls, and uh you go to college and you do the college thing, but you you figure out, hey, it's time to to settle down and and let's make a life with someone. Spend time with him. And if he wants to do some things that maybe you don't, I I changed some of the things I hated Star Trek. Is that right? Star Trek, hated it. I did not like um uh it's another silly movie my husband liked, uh, sitcom. But I learned to like it. Uh I loved motorcycles, and and we ended up owning motorcycles for lots of years, but and traveled everywhere on motorcycles. Uh, what else? I didn't had no desire to fly airplanes, but I thought, okay, he's either going to go without me and leave me behind, or I could just get in there and go with him. So get ladies, get in there and go with him. If he rides a horse and you don't, well, ask him to throw the saddle over for you. I bet he will. He loves you, he married you. You know, spend time together. Go on date nights, have have um have a night that you set aside that's that's just date night for you and him. I mean, my husband have done it now for at least 40 years. Uh, Friday night is our night, it's just what we do. We had family night, it was Thursday night. We didn't leave the kids out, you know. We we jumped in there together. Um uh and and let me say this about time spent with each other. Your children are watching. Yes, I promise you, they're watching. Yes. Uh, daddy doesn't like mama very much. He goes into the other room to watch his TV. Uh mom and dad, they never get along, they never go anywhere together. Why do they say that? Because that's what they're seeing. But if they say, Oh, my mom and daddy hold hands, my mom and daddy walk into the store holding hands, my mom and daddy have date night. I'm not the most important thing in my daddy's life. My mama is. Yeah, you know, they see what you're doing and they they really hear what you're saying, but they they see it more than they hear it.

Allison 1:12:04

Absolutely. Yes, yes, that's good. Okay, well, was there anything else you wanted to add, Pam? Uh is there anything else I want to add?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:18

Word of encouragement. Yes, stay healthy, exercise, take care of yourself, and don't live life like today's the last day of your life. Live it like I'm gonna be here 10 years from now, 20 years from now. I've got to take care of this body that God gave me. It's extremely important to be in your 60s. I'm 64, my husband's 67. We do not take any kind of medication. Have we had our ups and downs in hospital visits? Absolutely we have. Did we turn down treatments? No, we didn't. But I'm just telling you, for the most part, 99% of the time, we do things the straight and narrow. We take vitamins, we exercise, we've gone to the gym, we ride the bicycle, we walk, we take hikes. Yeah. Take care of yourself, take care of your mind that God gave you. Read books, study. Don't say I put the books away when I graduated college. Yeah. Why would you do that? Don't do that. There's always something else to learn.

Allison 1:13:22

Amen. That's some that's some good advice. Pam, thank you so much for being here today and telling me all about your story. I know there was so much we couldn't get to and we could have talked for hours, but it there's 45 years of it. I know. That's a lot to condense into an hour, a little over an hour, but I so appreciate your time and and just your heart for home and and for the Lord and for your marriage and what a great testimony that has been. So thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

Thank you, Allison, for inviting me. I appreciate it. You're welcome.

Allison 1:13:55

Thank you for listening to this homemaker portrait of Pam Stockdale. I want to thank Pam for sharing her wonderful story of home with us and to thank her daughter, Kristen, for nominating her. I hope that you have been inspired and encouraged by Pam's story and that you are taking away a few ideas or bits of wisdom to put into practice in your own homemaking. I loved Pam's advice to spend time with your husband. Take an interest in something he is interested in, whether it thrills you or not. And remember that your kids are watching and learning how they will or will not relate to their future spouses. Let's make the emoji for this episode, the girl and the guy with the heart between their heads. I'm sure there's an official name for that one, but I figured a description minimizes confusion. So drop me that emoji uh either in a text message or on a comment on Instagram or send it to me in an email so I can give you your gold star. And when you send me that emoji, tell me what is your favorite way to spend time with your husband. Maybe it's a date night idea, a hobby that you both share, or a favorite place that y'all like to visit together. If you're going to text me, don't forget to tell me your name, please. All of the resources and links, including Pam's biscuit recipe, but not her top secret pecan pie recipe, will be on the blog post for this episode. Click the link below or go to the Artof Home Podcast dot com slash blog and search Pam Stockdale. And maybe like Kristen, you would like to nominate a special homemaker in your life. Click the link in the show notes to fill out a nomination today. If you found value in today's episode, please share it with a homemaker that you know and leave us a rating and a review on your listening app. If you'd like to say thanks with your pennies, well, they quit making those, didn't they? So maybe save your pennies for posterity and say thanks with your nickels and dimes and quarters. You can do that over at buymeacoffee.com/slash the Artof Home Podcast. That's all for this episode. I will be back on Monday with part two of our six-part series on acts of courageous homemaking. And on Wednesday with a brand new homemaker portrait. Until then, keep practicing your art of making a home.