A Dog Called Diversity
A Dog Called Diversity
Navigating Menopause with Confidence.....with Tracy Minnoch Nuku
Ever wondered if the cognitive struggles of menopause might actually be preparing your brain for something better? In this conversation with Tracy Minnoch-Nuku, founder of Sexy Aging, we explore a perspective on menopause that transforms it from a dreaded decline into an empowering transition.
Tracy shares how her 35-year career in the fitness industry collided with her own perimenopause journey, leading her to create a brand that challenges stereotypes about aging.
The term "sexy" isn't about sexual attraction but about feeling confident and vibrant – something women deserve to experience at every age.
While hot flashes might be the poster child of menopause, this conversation focuses on the less discussed mental health impacts that often blindside women.
Brain fog, anxiety, and mood changes aren't just annoying symptoms – they're part of a neurological transformation that Tracy beautifully describes as "pruning the tree." When you understand what's happening and support your body through it, you emerge with greater clarity about what truly matters.
The revelation that strength training might be the true "magic pill" for menopause management will inspire you to view your gym sessions differently. At 55, Tracy is stronger than she was when bodybuilding at 25 – powerful evidence that physical decline isn't inevitable.
Her practical advice on breathing techniques, hormone therapy considerations, and lifestyle modifications offer actionable strategies you can implement immediately.
Whether you're approaching menopause, currently navigating its challenges, or supporting someone who is, this conversation provides the knowledge and perspective to transform this natural transition into one of the most empowering chapters of life.
Learn more about Tracy's work here and listen to her podcast here.
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Welcome to A Dog Called Diversity. And this week I think I have someone on the podcast whose business name and I guess related podcast name gives mine a bit of a run for its money. So welcome to the podcast, trini Minock-Nuku. How are you today?
Speaker 2:I'm really well. Thanks, lisa. It's really good to connect again. We've spoken before on my podcast, sexy.
Speaker 1:Aging, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I really really thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. It's so nice to reconnect.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, and your business is Sexy Aging and your podcast is Sexy Aging, which I absolutely love. What is all that about? Tell us about.
Speaker 2:Sexy Aging. I haven't had this question for a long time but I often get people say I really love you know the name Sexy Aging and I'm not actually sure what they're loving about it. So it's really nice to unpack the background of it. So it actually comes from a place of my own personal perimenopause journey and how I felt about aging. So my background is in fitness. I'm a fitness professional with over 35 years in the industry, working mostly internationally, setting up Les Mills International in Southeast Asia and then moving into big brand executive work and then as an entrepreneur with our own boutique fitness brand. But part of that journey I was actually going through perimenopause didn't know that a.
Speaker 2:I was living in Asia, no one would have spoken of it. Be people weren't talking about it back then anyway. So there was a few things and so being in the fitness industry as a woman experiencing a natural aging phenomena for women perimenopause I, without an education, was kind of pushing up against the narrative of being in the fitness industry and aging, you see.
Speaker 2:So you don't see a lot of women in their late 40s or 50s. You do see them in pilates and yoga, but I was in like HIIT training and high intensity boxing training and that was the space I was in and just feeling like a physically, this is feeling pretty shit right now. My body does not enjoy this and for years and years I've always enjoyed it. But what's going on? So obviously I didn't know what was going on physically and b? Um should I still be doing this at my age? And another part to it is that in asia, the word sexy is used slightly differently it has a different underlying tone.
Speaker 2:It's not necessarily linked to sexual attraction. It's actually a feeling of feeling good about yourself and so many women that I would speak to Filipino or Malaysian, whatever they're going oh yeah, that's so sexy like it would be like almost like that's fire. That's good, that's great. You know, it's got that kind of connotation. It's not so linked to the sexual connotation of sexy.
Speaker 2:So I kind of, you know, developed this link to that feeling of the word sexy and then I felt like, okay, well, if I'm going to do something in the space of supporting women as they're aging, I'm going to come up with something that's a little bit marketable, yeah, and hence putting the two words together. So most people I mean, if you're going to remember a brand, it has to have, uh, it has to resonate with you on a emotional level. I think so, whether you like the word sexy or not, whether you think the word sexy and aging goes well together or not, because that's also a good conversation um, I'm aging. Do I have to be sexy? Actually, I would like to be sexy and aging. So I think it does start up a really good conversation. It makes for great marketing. So there you go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it and I think just because we're getting older doesn't mean we want to be any less attractive or seen or vibrant. I think it's such a good title and I think that comment you made at the start about, you know, working in Asia and you and I have spoken about this before that we've both lived and worked in Asia, particularly Malaysia, singapore, and it's really interesting. There's often conversation about periods and menstruation in the environments that I was in in Singapore, but nothing about menopause and and so it's been a bit a topic that we've sort of had to tiptoe in a little bit in Asia and I see a lot more now but yeah, at the time that there were not, there were no conversations none, yeah, nothing.
Speaker 2:Hey look, I saw on LinkedIn yesterday this is really fully exciting. So my obstetrician gynecologist in Malaysia she's probably Malaysia's leading voice on menopause now oh, wow it's exciting, but she also delivered my younger child, who's now 12. And her and I retained a relationship, you know, just for my woman's health checkups.
Speaker 2:But we never had a conversation on menopause. So then I leave, I go back to New Zealand, come back to New Zealand. I'm here for five years, but I went back a couple couple of years ago and her and I reconnected over the fact that I was working in menopause education and health and she had become the leading voice of menopause in Malaysia. We caught up socially and we ended up working together for, let me think it was a big um uh insurance agent uh, it's in New Zealand as well. Sorry, I've forgotten brain fog moment. Um, we worked for a big, we went for a big. Just classic example we worked for a large um insurance agent, uh company together on menopause health care for women in in their industry. So we actually did that together. And now I've seen on LinkedIn that she is literally powering out all these workshops all over Asia. She is just elevating the conversation in Asia. I think it's just amazing. I'm so happy that it's her, because she is really fantastic. So, yeah, that's Dr Pramita Domodaran Shout out.
Speaker 1:Dr Pramita Domodaran Shout out Fantastic, fantastic. So tell us a bit about the work that you do now. So you've got this really cool brand that people will remember, but what's the kind of work that you do now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it started from the podcast, as you've mentioned, and the podcast really started from a place of I've got nobody to talk to, so I'll just phone up some doctors. Started from a place of I've got nobody to talk to, so I'll just phone up some doctors. And we're talking like five years ago when podcasting was still fairly new and I investigated where are there menopause podcasts? And there was one at the time. So I thought, oh, I'm in, but first I had to learn how to podcast. So it was like on the bucket list of things, when I turn 50 I'm going to teach myself how to podcast. So it started with the podcast.
Speaker 2:And then I actually had a massive education on longevity, aging and menopause by just interviewing all these doctors and experts in the field. It kind of drew me into hey, there's not a lot of information on menopause, health, fitness, nutrition. So I went and re-educated myself in that space. There was only two certifications worldwide at the time we're talking about four years ago now of which there are actually quite a large number of them now. It's trending to have some level of certification expertise in this conversation, but I did that like four years ago off the back of a physical education degree of them. Now it's trending to have some level of certification expertise in this conversation, but I did that, like four years ago, off the back of a physical education degree, years and years in the industry, so it was a natural fit for me to go.
Speaker 2:I'm going through menopause, but I need some help with my body and my nutrition as well, so what can I do for myself and what can I do for others? So that's really kick-started the whole experience of pulling together that type of content and becoming an expert in menopause, health, fitness, nutrition. But as it turns out, a lot of businesses came to me to talk to them about what menopause is and how it affects women in the workplace, so that's kind of another bow and a feather in my hat. Is that what you say? Is that the same? Yeah?
Speaker 1:yeah, which I didn't expect to be honest.
Speaker 2:but it was a natural fit as a long term educator with Les Mills, it was like a natural thing to kind of speak into businesses and feel quite relaxed about that conversation and really supporting companies with supporting their woman and also the managers who?
Speaker 2:are struggling with. What is this conversation that we don't know anything about? So that has been a really cool thing that has happened for me and I absolutely love it. And having said that, menopause world menopause day is coming up October the 18th, and there's a menopause week that gets fully booked for workshops and stuff. So if you are listening to this and you haven't yet had a menopause workshop, hit me up, let's go.
Speaker 1:It's a good reminder to, yeah, getting quickly, yeah, and that these days and weeks where we celebrate different identities and different things that happen to us in life can be really important and really help people. And it's no surprise to me that you're you're getting work in organizations, because they're our communities now, yeah, we don't go to church as much. We don't have a lot of, sometimes, community organizations that we're part of, so it makes sense that organizations need to take a role in educating and looking after their people. So that's really cool.
Speaker 1:When you were talking earlier about brand and having a brand that people can remember. For me, I think the brand of menopause is the hot flash. It's the woman sitting in a room taking off clothes, you know, waving her face because she's hot. But really the hot flush or flash is really only one piece of what's happening during perimenopause and menopause. So, given the work that you've done in branding, how would you rebrand, say, perimenopause or menopause? What would you? What are some of the less talked about aspects that you'd want to, you know, bring up and include in the brand of menopause?
Speaker 2:yeah, what's really funny is that I have heard it rebranded not me personally rebranded it, but as cougar puberty, oh yes I love that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so it's.
Speaker 2:It identifies that, as a woman is going into perimenopause, that that her hormones are all over the place. Estrogen is incredibly high and then incredibly low. Progesterone is dropping, testosterone is dropping, and it has the same or similar impact to when a young woman is entering puberty. So that's where that rebranding to Cougar Puberty it's a bit of a mouthful has come from. Not personally my rebranding, but I thought that was quite funny.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure how I feel about it, because I feel like we should just own what it is as it is. But I think it makes it more palatable for people when they hear that and it kind of takes away some of the nervousness around. Are we going to have this conversation Now? I think one of the things that, in to answer the second part of your question, I feel that people are not as aware of the impact on their mental health that menopause has this is a really big thing.
Speaker 2:In fact, a company that I've worked with this week has specifically requested the effect of menopause on mental health in the workplace. So I think that companies are becoming a little bit more like oh, it's actually way more than the physical and Tracy's already helped them with the physical, do these things but when it comes to mental health anxiety, low mood, brain fog, know, forgetfulness and stress, like all of that combined, and how it affects women in the workplace with their mental health that is a really big topic in itself. So while I wouldn't rebrand menopause to just focus on that, I think it's like it needs to really be unpacked and to help businesses, companies, managers, owners and entrepreneurs understand that menopause is much more than the physicality or the hot flashes. In actual fact, I'd say that the mental health aspect is probably something they absolutely need to address. Yeah, if they're not already.
Speaker 1:It's often the mental health part. I think that is the first thing that women and when I say women I mean me turn up at the GP and go I'm not sleeping, I'm feeling really anxious. You know I'm not, you know I can't remember things. I'm feeling a bit down. And they go oh, we'll give you an antidepressant and and it's not to say that you need an antidepressant or not but it's not understanding the underlying. You know what's going on when your hormones are going up and down.
Speaker 1:That creates a lot of challenges in your body. That means you don't sleep well, that means you have aches and pains. And yeah, I mean that's what happened to me the first GP I went to. She's like, oh well, the only thing we can do for you. And I had said I think I'm in perimenopause. And she said, oh well, I can just give you an antidepressant. I'm like that's not the answer yet, like we, you know, um. So I think you picking up on that is um is such a important thing to talk about, and it's fantastic that you've got an organization saying come and talk to us about that part. I think that's yeah.
Speaker 2:But it does come from personal experience, like yourself, lisa, like I would never in a million years have said that I was ever anxious until I went through, and then I realized, oh, this is what anxiety is, but why am I anxious, you?
Speaker 2:know, yeah, um, so I feel like, and after thousands and thousands of conversations that I've had with women, this is one of the top three things that they mention. If, if not, the first thing that they say is I have anxiety and I've never had it before, or I used to be anxious, it went away and now all of a sudden it's back and I don't know why. So, yeah, I think it's definitely on the top three of perimenopause symptoms that a woman would see her GP about and I'm really hoping and I feel like maybe I've got blinders on or rose colored glasses, but I do feel like doctors may be hearing this a lot more frequently and women like yourself going. I feel like it's perimenopause. So at some point, after they've seen 10 to 15 women who have said the exact same thing, they're going to be thinking do I need to re-educate myself? Am I missing something here? Because I'm hearing the same thing. It's like you know, it's like a virus. Everyone's got the same thing. Am I missing something? So I feel like that might be happening.
Speaker 2:And, of course, there is some really positive things that are happening in this space with the conversation on menopause, especially for women in New Zealand, where there's been like a group of us who have gone to parliament that have put the conversation of menopause and women's health after the age of 40 in front of ministers to go. This is important, it's economically important and it's you know, it's really important for the health of our wahine in New Zealand, so that conversation is starting to be elevated to the highest level. To the highest level. Lots of work to do, though, and I'm just one player in an amazing team, so we all have a small part to play, but we're trying to do our best.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's so fantastic when you do that, when you go to parliament, when you talk to ministers, because then we get media coverage and then hopefully it trickles down to the GPs who are at the front line. And, for example, I've got a relatively new GP. He's a younger man. I see a menopause specialist doctor now, but I go to him for other things and I had to update him on all the medications I was taking and I said, look, I look, I'm taking testosterone. And he was where did you get that? Like, how the hell did you get that? I'm like from a doctor who prescribed them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Get up to speed, people up to speed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for those listening, tracy was pulling an appropriate face to that story, oh my, goodness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I sort of feel like at some point that the younger doctors would be having this level of education. Now considering it's like if you look at the demographics of our overall population, we're growing. We are going to be the dominant demographic pretty soon, so yeah, look out out right we mean business.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, um. Do you have any stories of people that perhaps you've worked with um that you've been either been able to change their perspective on menopause or even your own perspective about how we help women through this period?
Speaker 2:I thought about that question and I don't really have. I haven't really had a conversation where my perspective has been changed. I feel like I am just trying to stay as open as possible to all the science that's coming through and the latest information on how we can support women as they're experiencing menopause. So I'm trying to stay as open to that because obviously it is having a moment. It is all over social media. There are, yeah, influences of which I have to say well, pros and cons, right. So yes.
Speaker 2:I have to call myself an influencer, because I have a level of influence over people that absorb my content. I'm very, very mindful of some of the stuff that's coming through about what we can do to take care of ourselves. Some of it about supplements, some of it about weighted vests, some of it about stopping training. I mean, all these things are very cyclic, but they've jumped on the bandwagon of menopause. So my goal is to stay open to what is happening with that conversation and make sure that I can find and access the science and support so that, if I'm ever going to speak to it or someone asks me a question about should I be wearing a weighted vest in the gym that I'm going to be, to give you know a definitive answer based on a common sense for me. To be honest. Is it common sense? If you're going to wear a weighted vest, wouldn't you just be better off picking up some heavier weight? Uh-huh, sorry, I just had to say that. Or, um, just wait, wait and see those, those doctors that I look up to and admire around, their their take on things, or contacts and connections that I have that feed me information on what's what's happening, what's what's in, what's out, you know. So, yeah, just keeping an open mind and perspective is the way that I try to address menopause, but I have spoken. This is one thing that I think applies probably to your listeners is I've interviewed for my podcast and I won't mention their names, but people can go and find the interviews two executive women and the reason why I can talk about this because it actually had a big impact on me.
Speaker 2:So I spoke to both women. They're both executives in really big companies in New Zealand and both of them struggled with their menopause symptoms and their roles. One of them walked away because of menopause. The other one managed to stay on and what she did is she actually had me come in and do a workshop in the company from a personal perspective for her, but she also looked around at her team and went. There's other people that probably need to know about this. I'm struggling, but I can't say anything. This is where she was at.
Speaker 2:So she took action, which is we need to have a conversation. So she took action, which is we need to have a conversation, and so she was able to change the trajectory of the way that women are supported in that workplace. So it's really. That was really, those two situations in those two conversations really impacted me as to what do I do from here. You know how do I keep moving forward with what I do, and I realized that, yeah, there is still room for change. Um, one walked away from their job and it was heartbreaking and she never ended up going back into that type of work again because she never got the support. And the other one managed to turn it into something positive. And now you know, there's the flow-on effect, which is the younger woman coming up who are now experiencing menopause, of going. Hey, I know who to talk to, I know where to get resources, because our company set that up for us.
Speaker 1:So, um, yeah, I just wanted to share, yeah yeah, that's I think that's a really common story that women walk away because it gets too hard, the anxiety is too much. It's. It gets too hard, the anxiety is too much, it's um, and often it's not just what's happening at work. If you are in perimenopause or menopause, you're often got children that you're still looking after. You might have elderly parents that you're looking after. There's a whole lot of stuff that happens all at once. That just makes everything hard, doesn't it so yeah.
Speaker 1:So what would be and I mean, the weighted vest cracks me up. I'm like as if we're not hot enough that we need a heavy vest on while we're exercising, for god's sake. Um, but what would be like your menopause survival kit, like if you're, you know, I mean, I think there's things like, you know, a hand fan or um, we are often getting around the place with water bottles because we're thirsty all the time, but what are some of you know beyond that, what? What would be your menopause survival kit for women?
Speaker 2:I love this question, so I wrote it it down.
Speaker 2:You only gave me three things. I was only allowed to say three things. So the first thing I will say is breathing the ability to learn how to calm down your heart rate, decrease your stress, drop your cortisol levels and it comes. It's as easy as what I call box breathing. It's visualizing a box. You breathe up the side of the box, you hold your breath along the top, you let out your breath as you go down the other side of the box and you hold your breath across the bottom and do that five times and you can do it anywhere, anytime. You don't need to put it in your handbag.
Speaker 2:If you're having a stressful moment and you can feel a hot flush coming, you can try, try this breathing and the better you get at it, the more you can manage your symptoms, and not just your physical symptoms, but your mental symptoms as well. We know that stress and high levels of cortisol at the wrong times, like bedtime, is actually going to make your menopause symptoms worse. Cortisol is actually a good hormone. It's a hormone that gets you up in the morning and gets you you know you meet your deadlines and through the traffic jam and all that sort of stuff, but when it's too active in the evenings, it does make it a little bit harder to fall asleep or stay asleep, so that box breathing can be done before bed as you're lying down to fall asleep. And, actual fact, if you get it under wraps, you can fall asleep while you're doing it, which is awesome.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's number one. Number two if you are interested in menopause hormone therapy, if you are at the beginning of your perimenopause journey, that would be something to look into and not to leave it until it's too late and it's too hard and you're thinking this is life, is shit. I think that's one of my key messages is, if you even think that you might be in perimenopause and you can get to a good doctor like you obviously have, lisa um, then investigate the opportunity to try menopause hormone therapy. And I just want to put one one more thing here, without going into all the details on it. You're not held to ransom to take it. You do not have to take it. You're not missing out if you don't take it and you can stop anytime, right? So just give it a shot and you might notice how pleasantly awesome you start to feel again. Yeah, of course, 80% of women that that take menopause hormone therapy. Have said it's helped with their symptoms, so yeah that would be number two.
Speaker 1:Can I ask when is it too late and too hard to access?
Speaker 2:Okay, well that information is also changing and I think that's what's exciting about this conversation is because it's relatively new. We're still finding out lots of things daily. So the recommendation is not past 10 years of your final menstrual period. Say, for example, if you had your last period you remember, you go, I think it was about 50 then a doctor might not prescribe it in your 60s. But okay, if you are really healthy, you don't have heart problems, you don't have high blood pressure, you've got good bone density.
Speaker 2:Some doctors now are saying, yeah, okay, you're having hot flashes and they're keeping you awake at night. Let's try it. So it is really dependent on the person. But at the moment, the menopause societies globally are saying not past 10 years of your final menstrual period and they're also saying to not take it longer than five years. But also I'm just waiting for that to be debunked as well there's more, more science that's coming out about that. That you know. I know people that have been on it for 15 years. Okay, so, and they're going over my dead body. Are you taking away my? Yeah?
Speaker 1:and all the research that's coming out around estrogen in particular and its impact on conditions like alzheimer's, uh, diabetes, a whole range of things. Yeah, it makes me think gosh, okay, why would I ever go off that?
Speaker 2:yeah, I agree and I think it's exciting, like you said, the the different things that it might impact, but right now we know that it only has a positive impact on bone density. Okay, so so there is science coming out. It's looking very positive, but right now we can only say it is bone density that improves. From a health perspective, you would still need to go and check your cholesterol levels to make sure that they're not rising. I do know women who are on menopause hormone therapy that have had increasing cholesterol as well, so that's still an important thing to factor in. It doesn't suddenly fix your heart or cardiovascular challenges, although exercise does.
Speaker 1:It's a good plug there.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, we're saying and this is something I want to credit, Nikki Bazant. She wrote the this Changes Everything book. She's got two books out about menopause in New Zealand and she's quite well known in New Zealand as a writer. But I went to her event on Saturday night in Wellington the Hot Best Tour. So I do want to credit Nikki for something that just kind of landed so beautifully with me and she knows that this would have landed with me because I was in the audience but she goes. We, we say that menopause, hormone therapy is not the magic pill, but exercise is, and I just went, girl, thank you for that because it is not just for menopause but for longevity, for life.
Speaker 2:And that was my third thing, that on my menopause survival kit is a fitness program or a gym membership cool, but but if you have a gym membership, you actually have to go. Oh yeah, and you had to show up, yeah, yeah, to survive, to survive, and you know what I really love.
Speaker 1:um, you said at the start that you had worked um at Les Mills for for quite a while and, um, I'm a Les Mill member here in Auckland and the diversity of age in that gym is incredible, so there will be very, very young people. Uh, yesterday when I went, the all blacks were training there again um, which is always very exciting through to quite elderly people. Yeah, it's a really great environment actually.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I think they've done some incredible things, like, especially with their programming. I'm not so sure that their marketing speaks to women or men, older, and that's I mean that's you know where do they? You've got to figure out where you're going to put your marketing spend, right, yeah, so I know that they're not going to put potentially you know a 60 or 70 year old on one of their posters or ads?
Speaker 2:yeah, but, like like you said, there's diversity in there, because they do have programming and that that lends to all ages and all demographics. Yeah, all you know cultures as well. So they have the, you know the strength training workouts, they have the yoga, they have the body balance, they have the dance, they have they have everything that is relevant for everyone. Um, and I think that's probably their biggest superpower yeah, yeah, it's very cool very cool.
Speaker 2:It is a cool place. Yeah, yeah, I love it, I wanted to talk a little bit about the brain and brain fog.
Speaker 1:I guess, like I showed you at the beginning. Yeah Well, it's a very challenging part of menopause that you kind of feel like you feel anxious already and then you can't remember things. So then you think that something's wrong with you. So what have you learned about what happens with the brain during menopause, and are there any upsides Any?
Speaker 2:So let's go on the down and then let's go on the up, okay, great. Okay, let me take you on a journey. So what we know about menopause is it's a full body condition and as we start to lose estrogen, our body actually becomes incredibly inflamed, and that's why you might notice joint pain, why you might notice gut issues and brain fog. Okay, so, because estrogen is dropping or the receptors aren't firing as well as they were when you had full powered estrogen, you notice that you're starting to forget things. You forget friends' names, you forget colleagues' names, you forget meetings that you're supposed to be at and Zoom calls that you're supposed to be on. Okay, so these things are quite frequent for a woman who's going through perimenopause. Now, I've had a really good think about how to frame this and I want to put positive spin on it because, yes, those moments suck and they're incredibly stressful, like if you forget a meeting or you forget you've you know, practiced for this presentation, the strategy meeting, because you want to get two million dollars across the line for your department and you can't remember what you're supposed to say. That is absolutely, absolutely devastating. I know how women feel. I've been in that situation.
Speaker 2:Okay, so here's what's happening to your brain. It's like you're a tree and you've grown. So imagine your tree and your branches are grown and they're in your brain, and every time a branch has grown or leaves have sprouted, it's more information that you've learned, it's more things that you've taken on board, it's more memories. Think of it almost like your hard drive. When you go through menopause, we're pruning, we're cutting back some of the dead wood and it feels like we're cutting back on our brain power. So when you're in that perimenopause moment, which is four to 10 years that may be longer for some women that's what it feels like. It feels like you've cut half your memory power. But we know, when a tree is pruned and a healthy tree, as in you're looking after yourself that those branches grow back better, stronger, more powered, more um, aware, put it that way, okay.
Speaker 2:So one of the really cool things and I feel like I'm in this stage of life now where you've pruned things that are not really important to you anymore you know, there are things that might have triggered you before, like people will say things and you'll go, and you might have gone like, got on your high horse and decided to put your two seats worth and now you're like, yeah, yeah, I've got nothing. No skin in the game on. This conversation means nothing to me. Um, relationships, prune, um yep, and those that have those friendships that have dug in deep roots with you, they are the stayers right, so they become your lifelong friends.
Speaker 2:Um, so I think that's one of the really cool things about coming through perimenopause. And the other end is that your brain actually does start to pick up again, especially if you look after your health. So you know, if you haven't looked after your health, you might have this kind of lifelong brain fog issue. But if you really dumb down, if you use the menopause moment to really take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally then your brain will come back all guns blazing, all fired up, but having left all the dead wood behind and I think that's so exciting, I can actually attest to this.
Speaker 1:Okay, yay yeah, life is good.
Speaker 2:I think that's the best explanation I have heard on the brain and menopause yep well, I think about this, I think about this thing a lot, yeah, yeah, thank you well, I think I don't hear enough women saying it's better once you get through it.
Speaker 1:I don't hear enough women saying it's better once you get through it if you've looked after yourself. No, I haven't heard anyone else say that. And I have days and I'm sure many of my listeners have days where we're like when is this going to get better? Is it ever going to get better, or is it just going to be like this forever? Do you?
Speaker 2:know what I mean? Oh yeah, it's actually really depressing, isn't it? It's yeah, it's, it's. It's actually really depressing isn't it?
Speaker 1:it's like it's really hard, yeah, yeah, but I love, I love that explanation and I was. I was thinking about I really pruned off. I went to an event and I'd spoken to a few people at the start of the event who were not my people. They were just not my people and so I was like, oh, and then I'd sat down at the dinner table and there was some look, I just wasn't having a good time. And then there was a speaker and the speaker was terrible and I was sitting at this thing going I'm an adult, I don't have to be here. Like, why am I? You're having a shit time. So I clearly pruned off that bit about well, like you have to stay because you've paid to come to this. And I got up and left and people were looking at me because I picked up my bag and I was like I just don't care, I can't be here anymore yeah, yeah, they probably go.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh she's, she's a menopause, but then when they get there.
Speaker 2:When they get there, they'll understand, they'll go. Oh yeah, she didn't put herself through the agony of having a shit day and she went off and did something that she really loved. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, all right, it's very empowering, it's not? It's not being rude, it's not, no, it's just it's going like and there's another part to it, lisa, it's like I have finite years on earth. Yes, how am I gonna? How am I gonna live the rest of my life? Am I gonna use up that time sitting in a room that's dulling, dulling my energy? I'm not learning anything. It might be great for other people there. I accept that other people are learning something. I'm not learning it. I'm not learning. I have actually other things I need to do that's going to, you know, provide more information and support for other people. So I'm'm out.
Speaker 1:Good on you. That's what happened. It was quite funny. I totally get it. I suspect a lot of the work you do when you go into organizations or with your own clients are really about how do we support other people going through menopause? What's some of your advice around that?
Speaker 2:My absolute favorite question. Yeah, because I think it's really insightful when I mean I've, I've got over it now, expecting that there would be men in the room and, and in some environments there are, in some environments there aren't. But as time is progressing, there's more and more men wanting, wanting to support their colleagues, their employees and their partners and their mums, right, so they're very forthcoming with questions around how can I support these women that I really want them to you know, to feel that they're worthy, understood. So the first thing is, the conversation that we have is this is what menopause is. This is how it affects women.
Speaker 2:Here are the challenges that they might be having in the workplace or at home, and this is what you can do, and so I usually list a few resources, but the number one thing is listen, listen without judgment, and understand that not all women's menopause experience is going to be the same, like for a lot of women. Obviously, rage is a big symptom, and rage usually comes out in a partnership like we. We moderate it a little bit more in the workplace and we might go to the bathroom and have a cry, but at home we obviously let it all hang out, and so, if he's breathing too loud, chewing too loud chewing see, then we just get really fired up.
Speaker 2:It wouldn't be. It's easier when they hear from, say, someone like myself say these are the things that really piss women off. Um, please don't take it personally, but it is a real trigger for them. So perhaps get in front of it and say, look, I'm gonna eat over here because I know I'm gonna try and eat a bit quieter, yeah, and then the other thing is like pitch the tent outside, just do that no, yeah, I think I think it's getting in front of the conversation and saying look, I've learned about menopause.
Speaker 2:How are you? How's it going for you? What do you need? Um, how was your doctor's visit? Did you feel supported? Just ask the questions that really help a woman open up and share about her struggles. It. It would be a bit of a game changer for men to actually have menopause 101, you know, either at school or in the workplace, because I think a lot of relationships would be a lot better for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. I agree, I've had nights where I thought my head was going to explode over chewing Breathing.
Speaker 1:Don't breathe on me, that's my personal one um, yeah, it's. Don't breathe on me, don't cough on me, don't um, um, don't chew. And one morning I got up I was must have been a weekend morning and uh, we've got two dogs and two boys, and so each boy has a dog that they have to walk in the morning like that first pee that the dog has to go out. And the older one, who's 16, who likes to rot in bed, was not getting up to the dog and the dog was barking and it woke me up and, oh all hell broke loose. My youngest said mum's a bit murdery today. I, it was true, I was feeling murdery. She's spicy spicy.
Speaker 1:Oh so cranky.
Speaker 2:I was so cranky oh gosh, you've got boys, so yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what are some of the lifestyle changes that you've seen or that you recommend people make? You know you were talking before about if you've looked after your health, your mental health, your emotional health um, you know you were talking before about if you've looked after your health, your mental health, your emotional health, um, you know all of that. You know what. What's the? What are the lifestyle changes I guess you've seen that make the difference.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, yeah, I don't want to dive big into the nutrition part really, but because I want to prioritize what I feel like everyone could probably do, and that's move your body yeah and we're not talking just about managing your menopause symptoms.
Speaker 2:We're actually thinking about beyond the bridge. The bridge to aging is, you know, from pre-menopause through to post-menopause, that that moment is an opportunity for you to build the foundations for longevity. Because I don't think that really, people really think past. You know what's going to happen when I'm in my late 50s, 60s, 70s. Like how do I want to actually move in the world? Do I want to be independent or do I want someone to be able to do? I want my kids to be wiping my butt, because people forget these things as they forget that as they age, their independence will drop, their will drop and they'll lose the ability to open up a jar or get up off the chair or wash themselves. I mean, like, are you not thinking in advance?
Speaker 2:So the first thing we need to do is just move our bodies in some way. Just get started. If you're not walking already, just the morning walk is amazing. It ticks all the boxes for your circadian rhythm and supporting your hormones as they're changing. And then really see if there's an opportunity for you to start strength training in some way. And you don't have to join a gym. You can get an app you can get some dumbbells from Kmart and maybe get a few lessons from an expert on how to move properly.
Speaker 2:Because another thing that happens with women as they go through menopause is their injury rate goes up because the, as estrogen drops, your tendon and ligaments start to stiffen, so it makes that mobility thing a bit more challenging and they get things like frozen shoulder and sore knees, and so getting an expert session a couple of times to show you how to move with weights is a good thing.
Speaker 2:So, even if you don't get the gym membership or the regular personal training, get someone, even a friend, to show you how do I do this properly and then start really lifting some weight away from gravity so that you can feel it on the muscles. And then, of course, the progressive overload. Now I don't want to talk as a fitness expert. I'm just saying that the science is unequivocal around people that build lean muscle tissue later in life. They are more independent, they are healthy. All their health metrics are way better. They live longer, as long as they don't get, you know, have an accident something you know tragic happens but they generally live longer and their cognitive function is way beyond a person that doesn't lift weights. So that is the absolute magic pill.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it. And when you go to the gym and you lift heavy things, you feel, you feel um like you're a legend yeah, I feel like you're a legend, like you're a badass and you own your body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not like succumbing to the natural decline of aging frailty like no that that's off the table now.
Speaker 2:So and you don't. And heavy is relative to everyone. Okay. So when you see a strong woman, you know, squatting 60 to 80 kilos, and you're like hell, no, I mean, obviously we have to get our head over the whole conversation around bulky versus toned Like even that conversation is so archaic, we just need to move on. But when you see someone like like that and then and then you go, oh, I could never do that. That looks really scary and dangerous. I think you need to put aside what everyone else is doing and go. Okay, where do I start? What's heavy for me? Like lifting, heavy could be three kilo dumbbells and 12 repetitions and squats, and by the of that, you're feeling like a bit of a burn. That's heavy.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, yep, I reckon. I mean, I lift heavier than my kids. My kids can lift. And hell yes, Like I've got a 16 year old who's a foot taller than me and he can't lift what I can lift. So I'm like, come on come on, it's so good.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy to hear that and I just want to share a little like a little self brag as well, because it also makes me feel really good. I am stronger. I'm 55. I'm stronger now than I was when I was bodybuilding at 25. I am lifting weights. All parts of my body are stronger today than I was 25, when I was 25.
Speaker 1:And I'm not going to tell you what my weights are, because they're not.
Speaker 2:They're probably not even that big. It doesn't matter. That's it. But I look back at myself and go. I was competitively bodybuilding back then.
Speaker 2:But, today I am stronger at 55 and that just blows my mind. That's the motivation I'm like I just want to be really fricking strong because the upsides for my health are just massive. So that being strong and that powerful, and that you know that mental awareness, that man, I feel so badass about this. Um, but of course, science shows that I'm gonna be able to do all the things I want to do right into my 80s and 90s, so yay love that, love that, and I reckon I'm stronger now than I was.
Speaker 1:When I was 25 too, I wasn't bodybuilding, but but just the older I've gotten, the stronger I've gotten, if that makes any sense totally.
Speaker 2:I love it yeah, because you have a benchmark so you can put your age aside and go. I used to lift that and now I lift that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome yeah, I love it. Um what? No? How can people work with you?
Speaker 2:oh well, they can find me sexy. Aging is a website, so aging is with an e. It's like an american version sexyagingcom. There's everything there so I have my. You can access the podcast, blog posts, workshop content um and reach out to me directly through the website love it, and I will put all of that in the show notes so that people can find you.
Speaker 1:What would be the one thing you want everyone to walk away with today? Knowing or remembering or doing? What would be that one thing?
Speaker 2:I think it's get ahead of menopause, understanding and education, like educate yourself. Like we have had the conversation around puberty and pregnancy and postpartum and menopause kind of dropped off the other end. So pick up that piece, educate yourself, don't be afraid of it, like, I think it has a lot of fear factor associated with it, especially when you go through it and you're not aware of what's going on. I think that's a travesty to women. Is that we weren't aware? So get ahead of it and really start planning how you want to take care of yourself. Um, because out the other side comes a new you, that is, you know, like you've, you've pruned the hedges, um, you've possibly got stronger than you've ever been before, and it's actually so empowering. It's like a really cool moment for us women and I do feel like it's quite new for us women generally, globally in our 50s, to be going life is awesome.
Speaker 2:I'm not done. I'm actually not finished. I've got a massive list. My body, my brain, tells me I can do it, so I'm freaking doing it. Are you coming with me or not?
Speaker 1:and that's kind of my message oh, I love that was such a good message to end on.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. It went on a bit of a segue, but no, it was all good.
Speaker 1:It was all good and helpful, I think, really helpful. Thank you, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks for being with me. Great to have this conversation early on a Tuesday. Yeah, it's a good.