Babbling About Five Shifts For A Sustainable 2026 w/ Meenu

#204: Forget the January hype cycle. We’re building a year that actually works by changing how we decide, not how much we do. Together we unpack five practical shifts that outlast resolutions: setting value-based goals, self-regulating before outsourcing decisions, reflective journaling to track growth, taking messy action, and enforcing boundaries that protect energy. If you’re tired of starting strong and fading by February, this is your blueprint for consistency that feels human and sustainable.

We start with the truth about why resolutions fail—dopamine drops, all-or-nothing plans, and goals that never fit your life. Then we pivot to identity: “Who am I becoming?” beats “What should I do?” That lens turns health into simple, repeatable behaviors you can mix and match—short walks, whole foods, hydration—without the shame loop. We address weight myths head-on, highlighting the role of mindset, hormones, and nutrition, and why chasing a number without inner work leaves you empty.

From there, we get tactical. Learn how to sit with discomfort using tools like breathwork, tapping, or a brisk walk so you can hear yourself before polling friends. Try a monthly reflective journal to record wins, lessons, and next experiments; it’s a faster feedback loop than waiting for December to “audit” your year. And if perfection keeps you stuck, we show you how to lower the bar: two minutes of meditation, five minutes of movement, and simple first steps that build momentum. To protect that momentum, we rework boundaries—say no to what drains you, or if you’re a default no, practice brave yeses that stretch you without burning you out.

You’ll leave with a clear, story-driven plan you can start today: identity-led goals, small consistent actions, and emotional skills that make progress inevitable. If you found this helpful, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find us. Your best year gets built one aligned choice at a time—what’s your first small step?

Transcript

Reframing The New Year

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What is up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of the Babble's Nonsense Podcast. We have Menu Back Today from Transcend into Wellness Podcast. And before we talk about goals, routines, or resolutions for 2026, we want to reframe something. Because the years that actually change your life don't start with doing more. They start with shifting how you make decisions. We are not interested in surface level resolutions that look good in January and disappear by February. We are interested in the internal shifts that quietly change how you move, how you choose, and what you tolerate. So in this episode, we are sharing the five shifts that change everything for us. Not trends, not hype, not hustle culture advice, but the foundations that create consistency, clarity, and peace. If you get these five things right, 2026 doesn't just feel better, it functions better. So let's get started. She came up with a topic this week that I thought was amazing, and that's how to make your 2026 your best year ever, but not the typical, you know, resolution type podcast that you might think. Well, you obviously are going to talk about rev resolutions, um, but we're gonna talk about them in a slightly different way.

Value-Based Goals Over Quick Fixes

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Yes, we are, because guess what? Without wasting too much time, I can just go into statistics. Like um the resolutions fail by the mid of February, according to statistics. 80% of people that set resolutions stop doing whatever they set resolutions for in the new year by the middle of February. So the dopamine falls off, the excitement goes away, and then you're back to square one and you're doing it all over again. And obviously, you know, the collective benefits from it, the government benefits from it by saying new year join the gym, discount, all these things. Again, I'm not yucking on anybody's yum if that's your vibe, but I'm just pulling you some statistics to say that you don't really have to do all that. You don't have to wait for new year. And also like making a resolution, um, deciding on a goal, forcing a goal just because it's new year doesn't mean you're actually gonna stick to it, doesn't mean it's actually sustainable. So we are gonna talk about the top five shifts that's gonna make your 2026 your best year yet. And the first thing I wanted to talk about is how you can set value-based goals over surface level resolution. So stop focusing on what you have to do and start anchoring goals in who you want to be. For example, instead of setting a resolution, if let's say I wanted a healthy body or I wanted to take care of my body, instead of setting a resolution saying I'm gonna wake up in the morning and go to the gym at 6 a.m. And let's say I've never done that before. And Jonah knows I'm not a morning person, so I'm not gonna in a way I can do that. So I'm setting a resolution, which is already such a big jump for my nervous system, such a big jump for my subconscious mind, because I've just never done them, you know, that's not my blueprint. So that's already forcing myself to do something which is very uncomfortable. So instead of setting something like surface level again, what you can do or I can do is saying, what are the ways that I want to take care of my body? Right. See how that is more value-based rather than surface level resolutions. So now I'm thinking about the overall picture. I'm not thinking about just Jim. I'm thinking about, oh, I could stretch, I could actually eat whole foods, I could drink this much water. So I'm thinking about it in a well-rounded way. And I feel like whenever you do that, you you start thinking about who do I want to become rather than oh, I'm gonna do this goal and I'm gonna check this because it makes my ego feel good.

Small Steps Beat All-Or-Nothing

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Right. And I think that also kind of ties into like even just since you used health and nutrition as an example. Like when I did was doing nutrition coaching for a little bit, it, you know, with my clients, I learned like they can't do everything at one time or it becomes too much. And that's what I've noticed, like, even when talking to friends or doing this podcast, you know, with resolutions, if it's too much at one time, that's kind of why they fail. That's why that falls into that statistics of like, okay, I've done this for 30 days, I'm just over it. Even though they say it takes 30 days to formulate a hab habit, it's almost like, then why do those resolutions kind of fall off mid-February if you're already in that 30-day habit? So something there obviously isn't clicking. And I think that's what you're talking about there is like you have to make it values. Right. It's not, it's not aligned with who you are. Like you said, if you're not a morning person, why are you going to sit there and say, I'm gonna get up every morning at six and go to the gym? Even though the gym is one of your quote unquote resolutions, start slow. It doesn't have like maybe you build a home gym, maybe you do some home workout videos, maybe you go for a walk and you do it at the time that you can do it, whether that's a five-minute walk in between, you know, customers' patients, yeah, whatever your job may be, or getting a walking treadmill while you're working. You know, there's different things. And I think that we as Americans have this idea that we have to go big or go home or do it all.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yeah, I've seen that with so many, it's so interesting you say we Americans, because I do notice that a lot more in this culture that people are either super aggressive or they just give up and they're like, you know what, it's not perfect. So I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna do anything.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Right. Well, I mean, that's kind of the way it was driven, you know, a long time ago. Like if you look at history and stuff like that, like being the city where it was like it built itself and all the stuff. Like the American mentality is very work all day, work hard five days a week, work as many hours, as long hours as you can, drive yourself into the ground and leave no time for play, fun, you know, things like that. Like, I know this is gonna sound really silly, but like when I was watching Emily in Paris, like how just like how like when she first went over there and they were taking like a three-hour lunch break, she was like, What? And everybody was like, You need to chill out, like you need to calm down.

unknown 6:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

This is how we do it on this side of the world, right? Which we could probably take a few steps with that.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Yeah, that's so funny you say that because then I used to live in Mexico, so I lived in Mexico City for two and a half years, and when I was working in corporate there, people would take an hour and a half lunch breaks and they would chill out, like they're not rushing. And I'm like, wait, are you for real though?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Like, well, I mean, we have a really bad mentality of like rush, rush, rush, rush, rush. And I know that people in the south are like, no, we I it it it I mean, I know in the north it's more so like you think like New York, go busy, you know, corporate everything. And then in the south, we still have that here. Like companies still expect that. So it's just, I do agree. I think that you should make it more aligned with your values so that way it sticks a little bit more. Because if it is aligned with your values, then it's something you could carry out throughout whenever.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Throughout whenever, and also I hate to say this, but you have less shame because I think you're setting a resolution to somehow fulfill some conditioning that's in your mind. Right. Either your friend is going to the gym, so you think that you need to go, or your parents taught you something and you you think you need to fulfill that, or society is forcing you to be a certain way, and you think you need to check that box. It's not who you are. So I really invite you to check in with yourself when your friends are saying I'm setting these crazy goals and resolution. Again, you don't have to yuck on their yum, like you can support them, but you don't have to do it just because everyone else is doing it. You have to ask yourself, is this in alignment with who I am becoming? So it's an identity shift rather than just checking a box. If and I know that's but that's a that's very important to like understand.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

I also think that, like you said, like making it more of a broader goal than that specific goal. And I know we're like we used weight as an example, and I think that's because that's probably one of the biggest ones that people, you know, especially after the holidays, you know, people are gonna go into January 1st. Like, I want to be this amount of weight this year, I want to lose this amount of pounds. And as a you know, nutrition coach, what I would tell my clients and what I had to change my mentality around years ago was sometimes you have to take that number out of your head. And also sometimes you have to be like, you know what, it's not always about the gym because I'm gonna tell y'all this right now, and no one's gonna love me when I say this.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Actually, I think I know what it is, and it's the best thing gone.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Weight is only 10%, 10% of or sorry, um fitness, the gym is only 10% of weight loss. 90% of it is nutrition, health, and hormones. So if your goal is weight, maybe this year when you step into that, maybe it's not the go big or go home. Maybe it's like, how can I set up different things to get that going? Like, maybe I hire a nutrition coach, maybe I try to work on my diet and see what's going on there. Maybe I try to get my health and hormones in check and just try to get my body more so in alignment so that I feel better. Maybe the goal should be feel better versus weight loss.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Exactly. Feel better on a mind, body, spirit level, feel more aligned with yourself. You want to have an identity shift that I am the kind of girl that loves my body. I'm the kind of girl that loves to work on my body. And that doesn't have to look like 5 a.m. gyms. Like that doesn't have have to do, you don't have to do that.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

And I'll say this, and you can agree with me, I'm sure, on this. And something you taught me a lot during our coaching, and something that I have to like drill into one of my really good friends' head. It doesn't matter if you lose 10, 20, 50, 100 pounds, if your mindset is still negative, you will never see what you've lost.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

You're never doing what you've lost.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

In the mirror, you're still gonna see that person you dislike because it was never about the weight to begin with.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Yes, and this is sad. A very quick example, kind of sad example, is like I've noticed this with many of my friends and also strangers. They will release 100 uh pounds, 150 pounds, 80 pounds, and they still feel extremely insecure, they still feel extremely obese and overweight because they have not taken care of their mind. That's that's what happens when you don't have value-based goals. You yeah, you hit the number, sure, for again validation, but it's not enough. But it's not enough because it doesn't align with who you really are and the kind of person that you want to become. So, again, highlighting the importance of value-based goals versus surface level resolution. So that was great.

Identity, Mindset, And Weight Myths

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah, no. So I just real quick, I want to give a like a couple examples of maybe some value-based goals that I have for myself this year, would be I'm going to do my best to stop over explaining myself, waiting, you know, stop waiting on potential instead of evidence. Um, this year, more so I want it to be more clarity, discernment, boundaries, obedience over desperation. Um, those are kind of like value-based goals for me, instead of just, you know, like you said, the aesthetics. So yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

Oh my god, that's awesome. Thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

You are welcome.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

And then the second one, um, and of course I coach so much on this, which is self-regulate before outsourcing every decision or every feeling, right? I've done this, I'm guilty of this. I used to do this maybe 10 years ago. And to be honest, it's because I don't trust myself. It is because I didn't have tools, I don't know how to sit with the yuck and sit with the emotion, right? So when there is a discomfort, immediately I'm calling my best friend and Melbourne. I'm just like, why the fuck are you calling me at 3:30?

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Right, no, right.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

I understand. Like, and then I'm like, what do you think I should do? Like, is this okay? Like, is that okay? Like things like that. And it is coming from uh the inability to like sit with myself. So this again, I'm not telling you guys not to get help. That is not the point. When you are an indecision, you are at a crossroads, yes, you have community, you have friends to support you, and you're you can lean to I always lean on different people at different times. I'm not that's not the point. The point is when there is moments of contrast, when there's moments of sadness, when there's moments of feeling stuck or anxious, learn to regulate yourself, whether that is tapping, whether that is running, whether that is journaling, whatever works for you in releasing that energy. Try to do that. And the reason you want to do this is because character development and inner strength only develops when you can lean on yourself. If you cannot lean on yourself, you're gonna find it very difficult to trust yourself as life goes on, because tomorrow the person that you lean on may not be available. And then what do you do? Right. So again, self-regulate before outsourcing every decision because instead of immediately seeking advice, when you learn to sit with the discomfort and regulate your emotion, you finally release also that need for validation. Right. Which is so important because we everybody, we all are guilty of wanting and needing external validation.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Maybe this is something that you can incorporate. Like I said, any emotion, right? Whatever comes up. What you can do, maybe you can do, I don't know, 40% on yourself, and then you can take it to your therapist. Maybe you regulate yourself 30% and then you talk to your best friend. I'm not saying it has to be all or nothing. I'm just saying that do your part and then show up and then have other people show up for you.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I agree. And that's something I'm really gonna try to work on in 2026 because I'm really bad about like seeking out advice and stuff. And like, and sometimes, like when you really sit down and think about it, it's like, are we actually seeking out advice or are we doing, like you said, seeking out validation for someone to agree with us so that we don't feel so bad in the moment of either what just happened or whatever. So it's probably a little bit of both. So I think that, you know, in therapy right now, I'm learning about attachment styles. And I think I would highly recommend, you know, maybe learning your attachment style because avoidant and anxious attachment styles, although very opposite ends of the spectrum, are very similar when it comes to their feelings. And I think those two probably have the hardest time self-soothing.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

I do, yeah, for sure. Because I used to be anxious, and then I also leaned into avoidance. It's so weird, like it's it's like a spectrum of like extremes, right? Right. That's why I used to do that because I was anxious. I was like, oh, I wonder what she thinks about this, I wonder what they think about this, and I want to know their take on this, right? Because I'm anxious to sit with myself.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

And so, like, just maybe some steps to get to that goal for the year is just learning yourself, learning maybe what attachment style you are, or maybe you know, trying to seek out life coaches or therapists that maybe deal with trauma like you do, or child, you know, childhood trauma, trauma, just trauma in general, to help you learn if you're not aware of the things that you do, so that you can learn to sit with yourself and learn techniques like you taught me to sit with yourself a little bit longer.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Yeah, 1000%. And on this subject of like self-regulation, you also want to be careful like not to run away from whatever it is, right? I'm saying to regulate, which means sit with the yuck, sit with the disgust, sit with the negativity, not not become negative, sit with it, let it move through you so that you're overcoming the storm on your own. And sometimes people do the other thing, which is I'm not gonna feel this, I'm not, I don't have time to feel all that. Numb out, yeah. I'm just I'm gonna numb, I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna, you know, smoke, I'm gonna call up this friend. That's also not a good mechanism. So, either ways, whichever side you're on, learn to sit with it, learn to regulate. And then once you've done it, once you feel a little bit better or you've come to a little bit of a conclusion or you know, some clarity, reach out. You know, I'm not saying don't reach out, but learn to do the work on your own. It will really be of service to you.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Like maybe set small goals, like maybe this next time I'm gonna sit with myself for five minutes because I've never done it before. And then next week, maybe I'm gonna sit with myself for 10 minutes before I reach out.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

Yeah, 1000%. Actually, that's that's really good. That's really good.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Well, I mean, just like a small thing, because like again, it goes back to the like when we were talking about weight loss or health or the gym or whatever. Whenever we try to say, okay, I'm not gonna call my friend, I'm not gonna do this at all. It's almost like when you tell yourself you're not gonna do something, you actually start thinking about it more. Like when you're on a diet, right? Like let's let's use diet as an example because I think that's something everyone can relate to. Whenever you're like, I'm not gonna eat chocolate for 30 days, what do you do? You seriously sit there every day and going, man, I really want some chocolate.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Yeah, it's the same as the I think I told, I think we talked about it in coaching. It's the same as the pink elephant theory. Don't think about the pink elephant. You can't not pink elephant is all over your mind right now.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Right, and like I think you told me it's almost like in what another example you gave me was like you how did you word it? You said, How many red cars did you see today? And I was like, none. And you were like, Okay, but the next time you go out, you'll probably see five, and the next time it'll probably be 10 because now you're looking for it.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Look for it, yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Right.

Self-Regulate Before Seeking Advice

SPEAKER_02 17:32

1000%, 1000%. So, yes, all about self-regulation. Um, do your best with the tools that you have, no right or wrong way, but learn to sit with it, right? Um, the third is reflective journaling to track wins and lessons. So this is slightly different from regular journaling. If you're a person that journals, which is dumping your thoughts, dumping your ideas, dumping how you're feeling and all those things, which I'm not saying it's not good, it's a very effective practice. But reflective journaling I found to be extremely positive for me. So the way that I do it is after every month is over during the last week of the month, I'll write my wins in January. Let's say January is the month, and be like, oh, these are the things that I tried, and these are the things that worked, and these are the things that I messed up, or these are the things are those are my experiences. I don't really say losses, I call them experiences because they are experiences, you know. And what this does for me is it gives me an observer standpoint rather than the victim standpoint, and it actually helps me grow continually because if I'm just journaling to dump my thoughts, sure, it's it's helping to some degree, but it's not creating those neural pathways for rapid growth.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Right. It's funny that you say that because I just listened to a podcast recently on the Skinny Confidentials podcast with Mel Robbins, which I know mixed reviews there, but it's funny because she said that she kind of does something similar, but I like that you said you do it monthly because she says she does a year-end audit where she kind of does the same thing where she writes down the wins, the things that didn't work for her, so that she can take an audit and look back and say, okay, this is where I have room for growth or whatever. She also said when she talks to people and they say that nothing really good happened to them that year, she'll tell them, Go back and look through your camera role and look and see, like in January, I took five pictures, or you know, February I did this. Where was I the happiest at? What was I doing? Yeah. And I was like, Oh, I really do like that because how many of us can say, like, we get to December and we're like, man, this year sucked. But then when you go back through the role, like in January of this year, even though it feels so long ago, I was in New York having the best time in Central Park with snow everywhere on the ground, which we don't get a lot of down here. So, like that was that was probably one of my, you know, best memories of the year. But I had forgotten about it until I listened to this podcast. And she was like, just go through your camera roll each month. But I like that you say do it monthly versus waiting till the end of the year because that's so much easier to remember than waiting 12 months later.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

It is. And also why why wait, right? I mean, why 12 months go for a reflection time when you can do it in 29 days?

SPEAKER_00 20:15

And you can start changing earlier.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

You start changing earlier, and then you start correcting earlier, you start reprogramming earlier. Everything happens at it after instead of waiting for one year, you're making the change the next month on what you what you like to see. But I love the pictures thing. That that's yeah, that was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

I was just like, and that's something else, like just speaking of pictures, just side note. I'm like, I used to be so good at taking pictures and like memories and stuff like that. And I don't know, maybe it was just premonition for this podcast, but like I was thinking earlier, like I don't really do that anymore. And then I just was trying to think think back at my life just in general and like snapshots, you know, because memories are just photo snapshots in your mind that you keep. And I was just like, it's so crazy how many things we just forget happened or don't remember unless it's something huge and significant. And why? Why does it have to be that way?

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Oh, you know, I have an answer for that. So that there was this um experiment done when you take a white paper and you put a black dot, right? There's so much white around the black dot, but you're gonna focus on the black dot. Okay, so that means our survival brain. So our survival brain is is here for us to protect us, unfortunately, but it also kind of sabotages us because it's here to spot the errors, it is here to spot the flaws. That is our fundamental programming, that is the hunter-gatherer brain. It's like I'm gonna scan for survival, right? I'm gonna scan mistakes. So you see, it's easier for somebody to say, Oh, I didn't see any wins this year. Like, I don't see anything positive that happened. I see all this negative that happened because yeah, you're wired to kind of see that way, you're wired to do that way. And you can change that. You know, it's easy, it's not that hard. It's a habit, sure. It's a mindset shift, but it's it's not that hard to like change it.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

No, agreed. And like, I don't know if this is a similar topic, but just it just popped into my mind. Like this past year, I have gotten, I've really grown in my faith. And like, no matter what your religion is, you know, obviously, if you're growing in your faith, like me and my friend are reading the Bible in um a year, and we'll be, I'll, I'll be, she's already done, I'll be done in January. But it's just like sitting with things and like knowing that there is a bigger purpose for your life, and you may not understand in the moment while something is happening, and it feels so awful to you in that moment. But then, you know, maybe two or three years down the road, you finally like, oh, that's why that happened, or that's why, you know, if that would have worked out, this wouldn't have happened, or you know, whether that be jobs, money, relationships, you know, your housing situation, anything you can apply to that. So I just I think trying to focus on a bigger picture now versus this just which is hard. Don't get me wrong, I still do it. Still very much am like, this sucks. But I think that I'm gonna take on that challenge for next year of just journaling, reflective journaling each month to see how much I can hopefully grow in the new year.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

I'm so excited. Maybe we should do it together. Yeah, let's do it. Maybe, oh, maybe we should do it together and do a podcast.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

I was gonna say, I was gonna say, maybe we could have to like be very vulnerable and tell people our shit storms each month and be like, yeah, this is where I fucked up, and you know, why not? I mean, hey, why not? We're all gonna die, you know. So right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

So I'm just I'm just saying, like, maybe learn, you know, people people can grow with us and learn with us. I think it'll be fun. I am so down, my friend. Yes, let's let's actually do that. Let's actually do that. Um, so the fourth uh point that I want to talk about is start taking messy action. We are always thought saying, take action, it has to look this way, it has to feel this way, it has to be a step-by-step process, otherwise, it's not bad. And because of that, there's a lot of analysis paralysis, there's perfectionism, you go into a free state, you can't do anything. Because again, you're thinking about if I'm not doing this the correct way, then I'm not gonna do it. I have so many people, um, clients, even that wanted to start their own businesses, that wanted to start their Reiki practice or life coaching practice, whatever it is, they'll say, Oh, I don't have a website. You don't need a website. Right, right. Do you have Venmo? Do you have a place where people can pay you? Do you have the skill? That's it.

Attachment, Numbing, And Real Tools

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Well, I mean, the same same thing with my podcast. Like, I was so afraid to launch it because I didn't know anything about it, how to do it. I think I bought a$50 microphone off of Amazon and was just using Garage Band on my Mac before I bought equipment and things like that. But like I had very good advice from people who are already had podcasts and say, you don't need all that. All you need is a microphone and garage band. You don't have to have an intro, you don't have to have all the stuff. Just do it, just sit down and do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

And I was like, okay. That's so interesting you say that because I till now, and I have I have had my podcast for more than a year. I don't have podcast equipment. I mean, Jana's looking at me right now. There's no mic, there's there's no microphone, there's nothing. I still don't have it because I used to have that problem. You know, when I started the podcast, I would be like, I don't have this, I don't have this, I can't do it, I can't do this, I can't do that. And I'm not a motivational speaker, so I didn't know how to speak for more than 15 minutes. I'm used to one-minute reels and two-minute reels on Instagram. Sure, you can ask me to do that, but I don't know how to talk for 20 minutes and 30 minutes. But now, again, messy action because I did it so many times, and now I'm able to do it even though it's not perfect.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Same. And like I used to be like, Well, I need to I have to have, you know, what am I gonna say? What am I gonna do? How long is it gonna be? It needs to be an hour, it needs to be this, it needs to be that. It's not perfect. And here I am coming up on six years of Babble's Nonsense podcast.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Oh, I love that for you. So here we are. Here we are. That's incredible. That's incredible. And this advice goes for healthy eating. This advice goes for working out, this goes for everything. Are you not going to the gym because you think that going to the gym should happen at a certain hour and it should be for an hour exactly? Are you, you know, not monitoring your food because you accidentally ate a piece of chocolate and now you want to eat the whole bar? Like, no, don't don't, you don't need to do that. You don't need to be in all or nothing, start taking messy action. The keyword is messy.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

And I love that because I mean that's so relatable. Like I used to be that I used to be so stringent in my diet and exercise that, like, if but now, like the I think on Thanksgiving week, I just I only had the opportunity to go twice that week, and I could have easily been like, I'm not going at all this week because I could only go two times, and I go four to five times a week, and I was just like, no, I'll go these two times and I'll just go my normal next week.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Yeah, that's that's actually really good. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

So I I love that you say that because I think that we do have that mentality again, probably American driven. Probably, because I know we have a lot of listeners in other countries and things like that, but like it is so hard easy and hard at the same time. Like it's such easy advice to listen to, but then such a hard thing because we're taught if it's not perfect, don't even attempt it.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, reminder for you guys, you don't have to wait for January 1st, start taking really, really messy action tomorrow. Go for a walk for five minutes, meditate for two minutes. You don't have to do it for 20 minutes. Like, you see how easy it is when I say meditate for two minutes. There is no resistance.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

It's so funny that you say that because that is why I don't meditate. Because I'm like, I'm not a good meditator, I'm not a good oh, calling me out.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

There you go. You you don't have an excuse for two minutes, you just don't.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

Damn, okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Gotcha. I literally had a client who said, I have ADHD, I can't meditate, you can't make me, I'm gonna disappoint you. All those like crazy things. I said, Okay, you want to meditate for two minutes right now, and and then she did, and it was great, and then she extended it to five and then seven. Well, she doesn't do 20 minutes, but she does 10 minutes, and that works for her. Yeah, great. So, again, choose the rhythm that works for you. Don't shame yourself if it's not perfect. Take messy act.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

My meditation will stay a reality TV show. That's my meditation where my mind goes completely blank.

Reflective Journaling For Monthly Growth

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Okay, you do you am I to say there is only one way to meditate, right? All right, what you got next? The next one is kind of an obvious one, but I feel like we all forget it all the time, which is say no more often to what drains you. Yeah, I mean, please say no. I I feel like 2025 was for me my year of no's, which I'm so happy about because I used to be such a yes girl, I used to say yes to a lot of things, and then I became bitter and resentful of other people when I didn't have better boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

So well, it's funny that you say that because I actually had a year of yes instead of a year no in 2022 because I read Shonda Rahm's book, Year of Yes, actually recommend very good book because she was a no girl to everything, which I know this is completely different. Like she was a no to like hearty speeches, all this stuff. So she finally started saying yes and it opened her eyes to a whole world of different things, new people, new events, things that she would have never done otherwise. So I actually did have a really good year in 2022 because I'm a very huge no girl. I actually so maybe for this number five advice, if you're already reverse, yeah, if you're already such a no person, like you tell like if someone's like, Do you want to go out tonight? And you're like, No, do you want to go to dinner tonight? No. Do you want to come to National and hang out? No. If you're already such a no person, maybe make this your year of yes. And if you say yes to everybody, maybe make it your year of no.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Yeah, I feel like for me, because I used to say yes too much, and this is the thing, guys, saying yes out of alignment is different from saying yes out of people pleasing, right? Saying to fit in, and you'll feel the difference, right? And we're not telling you to say yes to like please society or your friends, we're saying say yes. If you if you're a no person and you want to say yes, we want you to say yes to things that actually feel in alignment to right.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Like, for example, um if you let's say you worked all day, you went to the gym that morning, you worked all day, your boss asked you to do an extra assignment at night, and then your friends wanted you to go to dinner at seven. Saying no to that dinner to that dinner at seven with a friend is aligning with yourself because you're exhausted from everything else you had to do in the day. We're not saying say yes to that friend because you should go and be a good friend. Exactly. You just you but let's say it's the reverse of the situation, you always say no to every project your boss tries to give you. Maybe you just say, you know what, I'll take it on, I'll try it.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

Yeah, exactly. And I'll I like this reversal thing because I think we have so many people listening to this, and different people, you know, have different characteristics. Like I'm more naturally more introverted. So when I do too many extroverted things, I just get very drained. I get very drained, I get very tired, and then I'm always thinking, why on earth did I do that? Right, right. I'm not that glad that I did it, and that is on me because I said yes when I was not of alignment, and I said yes because I wanted to make my friends happy or something. And this was again a year and a half ago. I'm not that person anymore. We've changed a lot, and so see how this aligns with you and choose a yes or no based on where you're at.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

I want to do is that was that your five that we had?

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Those are those are the I feel like for me, those five land for 2026. So I just wanted to really share that with my clients and audience.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

Well, you know that I have to do a rapid fire, so let me grather some questions real quick because you know we have to have a little humor after a serious conversation. Let's do it. I'm all for it. But first I want to know before we do the rapid fire, do you have who you are stepping into 2026 as or what you want to step into 2026 as? Like just some buzzwords, whether that be like manifestation, growth.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

I will say massive expansion.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Massive expansion. Oh, oh, hold on. My phone's trying to connect to my computer. Hopefully, that does not do that. Mine is going to have to be I want to have more clarity and I want to be a little bit more grounded. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So, all right. Here is our rapid fire, and I'll answer them with you this time. Okay. All right. What's one thing you're leaving in 2025 like it never happened before?

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Me, I'll go first. Begging and pleading. Done with it.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

I think I am leaving the feeling and the need to belong. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

What habit did you swear you would quit but didn't?

SPEAKER_02 33:33

Oh god, eating sugars.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Same. I have this little basket of candy at work and I keep eating it. Uh what's your most delusional goal for 2026?

SPEAKER_02 33:48

Ooh, I can say it. Okay. You know there is this you can say it if you want. I'm not gonna yuck on your yum, but you know there is uh there's data on that, right?

SPEAKER_00 34:01

Well, no, I don't, so don't tell me. My goal is to survive 2026 because I'm going into 2026 with four jobs in a podcast.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

Whoa, girl. You I did not know that. That's that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Well, that's that's that's I mean, they're not all, they're all clearly not four full-time jobs, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

That's incredible. I'm rooting for you.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

That's why I'm delusional. We'll see how well it works.

SPEAKER_02 34:29

Yeah, I mean something will end up falling, I'm sure. Sometimes you gotta be delulu for your goals, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

What is something you overthought way too hard in 2025?

SPEAKER_02 34:41

You know, I'm not an overthinker.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

I'm trying to think. Like when I'm thinking over the past.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

I'm trying to think. What did I uh overthink in 2025?

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Dating, probably for me.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Yeah, I'm not an I'm not an overthinker, I'm an over-analyzer, not an overthinker.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

Yeah, I do a little bit of both. I analyze my overthinking. What is one boundary you are finally enforcing without explaining?

SPEAKER_02 35:19

Ooh, no more people pleasing.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Mine is going to be I'm not going to over-explain to you or explain. I might give, you know, I explain, you know, I try to explain myself way too much sometimes. I'll explain once, maybe twice, but after that, we're all adults here. You should have gotten, you should have gotten it.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

Yeah, and and then I feel like at that point, if they don't get it, it's a choice that they've made. Exactly. To not see you.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Right. What is your toxic trait that is honestly improving?

SPEAKER_02 35:50

I will feed you if you come to my house. I will feed you.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Mine is probably again over texting, over-explaining. I am getting better at that. What's something that you are no longer available for emotionally or physically or anything otherwise?

SPEAKER_02 36:09

Oh my god, one-sided friendships.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Yes, can we talk about that?

SPEAKER_02 36:14

I can't do it. What a waste of time.

Take Messy Action, Not Perfect Plans

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Right, agreed. What lesson did God keep repeating until you finally got it? Toxic men.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

For me, it's your safety and security comes from you. That was always the bigger lesson. Anytime I lean on anything external, I get bit slapped, and God's like, uh, I think you have to go inward and realize that it's all within you.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

Agreed. What is one thing your future self would roast your now self about stressing about?

SPEAKER_02 36:51

Other people.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

I think mine would have to be worrying about work all the time because clearly I'm stepping into 2026 with four jobs.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

Yeah, I feel like I always I worry about people that are very close to me. I worry about my family a lot. I worry about my best friends a lot. And you know, and it's not every day, but whenever I do worry, I worry a lot. I'm like, are you okay? Are you doing this? So I feel like my future self would be like, you know what? They can take care of themselves. So I need to stop. I need to stop. I need to stop.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

What I'm gonna tell you, um, because I know you do believe in God, what I'm gonna tell you that I saw on TikTok since you know it's funny because TikTok does your algorithm, and I've I've had a lot more like Christian talk come through, which is great. I don't mind it. And there was this one person that said, You can't have worry and fear in the same emotion because why are you worrying about something that you know God is in control of?

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Exactly. Because right, and I was just like, oh, that hit it's deep surrender. We all know this, but we all forget it. It's so human because we're human, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

Let's see, these are not funny. I asked for funny questions, chat. You know, I actually like it. Okay, you know, I feel like it's more relatable. What is one thing you're going to do slower on purpose?

SPEAKER_02 38:14

This is incredibly hard. I don't know if I want to do this, but I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try to walk slower.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Oh, yeah, that's not happening for me. These are some ER legs, and I'm a nurse. This is that there's just no slowing it down. There's just no slowing it down. I don't, I'm not even gonna try that.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

Just fast walker. Uh I and anytime I get a phone call and I'm brainstorming with a client on the phone, I'm I am getting my steps in. I'm like 5,000 steps in, 7,000 steps.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Mine, I think, is going to be I'm trying to speak slower because I speak really fast when I'm passionate or excited. And a lot of that comes across sometimes as people think that I'm either being rude or I'm impatient when really I'm just like, oh my God, I'm so passionate about.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

We'll see how long that lasts. Um, let's see. What is something that you are proud of that no one has clapped for?

SPEAKER_02 39:12

Ooh, this is a deep one.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Mine is going to be standing up for myself because I used to like get like I'm I've always been able to stand up for myself, but then I go home and I like like get very worried, like worried, like, oh my gosh, was I too harsh or was I this or was that? And now I've been able to stand up for myself in a more respectful way, I guess, so that I don't have to worry if I hurt someone's feelings. And I have to also be like, but my feelings matter too. Yeah. So that's something I'm really proud of myself for growing in.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Say the question again.

SPEAKER_00 39:48

What's something that you're proud of of yourself that no one has clapped for?

SPEAKER_02 39:53

Well, I don't want to toot my horn, but anytime I have had an instinct about Anybody. It's always been right. So I've sometimes gaslipped myself in the past. I've said, okay, let me wait for some logic and proof to see what happens. But my nervous system is so hypersensitive that it picks up on things before they even say anything.

SPEAKER_00 40:19

What is your 2026 vibe in three words? Exponential fucking growth.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

Yes. Mine's gonna go back to the second words I said.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

Mine's going to be the clarity, grounded, and trying to be more mindful.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

I love that. I feel like you're really mindful anyway.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

Maybe for myself. All right. What's one situation you survived that deserves a medal? Oof.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Being abroad, away from your family, and navigating through a divorce, coming from a super traditional family, and dealing with that stuff and not being able to go back home because you're in the middle of a pandemic for a year and a half and dealing with that all on your own with zero familial support in a country where you have zero family. Like that, that is just that just, I don't know, changes your brain chemistry when you go through stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Yeah, I can relate. Like obviously, my family is here, but when it comes to like just not, you know, just basically doing everything on your own. I'm so used to doing everything on my own, which is something I do need to start working on in 2026, is just like allowing help. Yeah. And allowing people to allowing people in, allowing people to help, being more in my feminine energy.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

Yes, let's do that.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

All right, let's see. Couple more. What is a red flag you now spot in under five minutes?

SPEAKER_02 42:02

You know, we talked about this briefly, I think, in another podcast. The red flag I spot in under five minutes is when I'm interacting with somebody, whether I'm meeting a friend in a coffee shop or, you know, getting to know someone. If they don't ask any questions at all about me, I'm just like, uh, why are you here? I thought this was like a mutual understanding that we're getting to know each other and we're trying to connect mutually. All you you've done is talked about yourself. You've not asked me a single question about myself.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

Yeah, same. And I dated a guy that did that. And like I try to like just like make excuses, like maybe he's busy, maybe he doesn't like texting. And I should have just been like, you know what? No, I don't like the way you communicate. Like, if I go, how's your day? And you go good, and you don't say how's yours too, that's rude. Oh, my phone just went off. Um, a couple more, but let's end it a little softly. What does peace actually look like for you going into 2026?

SPEAKER_02 43:04

I'm always gonna say meditation because I love it. It's my it's my place of zen. It's my place of calm.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

Mine is going to be the reflective journaling that I'm going to try.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

Oh, girl. Yes. I'll hold you accountable.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

What does alignment feel like in your body going into 2026?

SPEAKER_02 43:26

I think alignment for me feels when my actions, my mindset, and my energy is all in balance.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

I would agree with that. Because you you you just feel uh when it's not.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

And it's not, exactly. You're thinking about something, but if you're not taking action, you're not in alignment. You're feeling something, but you're not taking action, you're not in alignment. And sometimes you're taking action, but you're not feeling it, then you're still not in alignment because it's not the energy and the action part is not aligned.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

And the last one, what kind of woman do you want to become in 2026?

SPEAKER_02 44:07

I think I want to become more thick skinned.

SPEAKER_00 44:15

And see, I want to become more soft because I think I'm too thick skinned.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

Hmm. Well, we should just swap.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

Or hang out more. We could rub off on each other.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

I feel like maybe the polarity will really help.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Because I think sometimes like I'm a little too thick-skinned, and I'm just like, yeah. I mean, obviously things do hurt my feelings sometimes, but it's only like maybe a handful of people that can. Other people, I'm just like, whatever, dude. I know I'm a good person.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

I feel like I'm too sensitive for the world, but people don't know that I'm too sensitive because I don't express that. I am extremely good at emotional regulation and navigating through feelings on my own. I do it so fast, so people don't realize if something's but hurt me or upset me because I just move through it so fast and I come out the other side. But I actually want to be less sensitive. I want to not take things personally.

SPEAKER_00 45:06

Okay. So now that you've explained it that way, I am a little overly sensitive, especially with like close people. Um, I get my feelings hurt by them and I pretend that it doesn't hurt my feelings. So maybe just being a little bit more honest and open and being like, hey, that really hurt my feelings.

unknown 45:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

Yeah. And and when you, you know what's interesting is when you do say that and the way they respond actually speaks volumes about who they are.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

Right. And so, yes, maybe I agree with that. Maybe I see me saying I was too thick skinned was me trying to be too thick skinned. That's actually so I mean, if we're trying to be insightful and be honest here, that is how it is. You know, session right now.

SPEAKER_02 45:52

That's incredible.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

Well, thank you for doing this. I think this will be great for everyone to listen to going into 2026 and for any year, really. If you're listening to this, let's say it's 2028 and you're listening to an old episode, this can apply at any point. This is not just a generic, oh, what are your five goals for next year?

SPEAKER_02 46:10

Exactly. And you may listen to this in March, and you know, I am not gonna be unhappy about that because I don't believe in this January 1st thing that's when everything needs to start. Consumerism. I know you can you can start anytime. And and remember this one thing that I highlight again, and Jonah and I talk about this all the time: messy action, messy action. It's not about perfect, messy. Five minutes of exercise, two minutes of meditation, you know, start with I don't know, 500 ml of water before you jump to two liters, right? It's just so much easier that way to build habits and it's so much sustainable. And again, coming back to building value-based goals over surface level. Like anytime you get distracted by surface level, I want you to snap out of it and ask yourself is it aligned with who I want to become? Not you.

SPEAKER_00 46:58

Will you run through the five real quick for everybody? Just so if, like once they've got to the end, since we've kind of been babbling.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

Yes. So the first is setting value-based goals over surface level resolution. And we talked about what that feels like. The second is you self-regulate before you outsource every feeling, every decision. You navigate through your feelings before you call up a friend, right? Because that helps you build trust and confidence in yourself. The third is the power of reflecting reflective journaling to track your wins and lessons instead of just regular journaling, reflection every month or the end of the month to see, you know, your own blind spots, what you've learned, what you've not learned, how you can do better the next month. And then the fourth is take messy action, which is don't get stuck in perfectionism, don't get stuck in the steps that it has to be a certain way or look or look a certain way, just start, right? And then five is a very obvious one, which is saying no more to whatever drains you. And if you are a no person already, then lean into saying yes. Um, so that you can again have an expansive um year instead of shrinking yourself. But again, if you are saying too many, too much yes and it's draining you, then lean into saying no more. So these are the five things I would really like to highlight.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

All right, guys. Thank you for listening. I hope this helped going into your new year or any month that you are listening to this. And until next time, bye.