Babbling About Spiral City With K Period

#229: Your friend doesn’t text back for an hour and your brain writes a whole documentary about the downfall of the friendship. Your boss says, “Can you come see me?” and suddenly you’re mentally packing your desk. If that sounds familiar, we’re right there with you, and we’re talking about why overthinking feels so automatic and so convincing. 

We dig into the real mechanics behind catastrophizing and “assuming the worst,” including how a trauma lens can tint everyday moments, why uncertainty makes our nervous system itchy, and how work environments like emergency medicine can train you to default to worst-case thinking. We also get honest about modern triggers like social media, where a missing like or a weird view pattern can turn us into FBI-level analysts, even though the most likely answer is boring and harmless. 

Then we bring it down to the tiny stuff that sparks big feelings, like the dreaded thumbs up reaction or the infamous “K.” text. We unpack why we interpret messages through our own habits, why mind-reading is such a common cognitive distortion, and how a simple reality-check question can interrupt the spiral without pretending anxiety isn’t real. 

If you’ve ever convinced yourself someone hates you only to learn they were mowing the yard or fell asleep, you’ll feel seen. Subscribe for more, share this with your favorite overthinker, and leave a review if it helps. What’s the smallest signal that sends your brain straight into worst-case mode?

Transcript

Why We Assume The Worst

Johnna 0:00

What is up, everyone? Welcome back to another episode of the Babbles Nonsense podcast. I'm so glad to be back this week. Again, I know I took another week off. Who would have thunk it? But it's been draining this summer. Maybe a podcast episode on that coming up, but just work in general, just hustling, grinding, all the things. But I'm so glad that you were here and that I'm here this week because today we are going to talk about something that I truly think every single one of us probably does. Like, I don't know if it's getting worse for me or if I'm just noticing it more. But what I have noticed that I do, maybe you do too, is we automatically assume the worst situation. Like seriously. For example, if someone doesn't text us back, then automatically they hate me. Maybe it's your boss saying something like, Hey, can you come see me for a minute? Well, you know, my brain goes straight to guess I'm unemployed. Or maybe it's even your friend saying, Can we talk later? And I'm in my mind, like, absolutely not. Tell me now because my anxiety has already planned out 17 different conversations. And in every single one of them, I've somehow ruined our friendship. So hopefully someone out there can tell me that I am not the only one that does this because I swear our brains are like little conspiracy theorists. They're over here connecting dots that don't even exist sometimes. So yeah, that's what we're gonna get into today. So stay tuned.

Trauma Lenses And Pessimism

Johnna 1:53

All right. So, like I said in the intro, basically to summarize it all up, I'm truly interested in why our brains are so dramatic or if it's just me. Because I don't feel like this is just me. I feel like this is like kind of tying into the conversation from the last episode where we filter everything through our trauma and lenses and things that we have to work on daily. So I truly have to know if this is just me or if everyone else's brain does this, where you know, we just think the worst thing always. And maybe it's more that I lean more pessimistic. I'm not, I'm not as optimistic as I'm trying to come across and trying to be, like I am trying to change that that lens that I have. Um, because I feel like my brain is just exhausting me a lot of the times. It's absolutely exhausting.

The Unanswered Text Spiral

Johnna 2:39

And for example, kind of what brought this conversation or thought of the podcast was the other day I texted someone, you know, typically someone I would text all the time. They, you know, they typically respond, you know, pretty promptly, things like that. And then I got nothing. It was just silence. Maybe 30 minutes went by, maybe an hour or a couple hours, and then still nothing. And I wasn't even texting about anything important, to be to be quite honest. It was more like, hey, are you alive? What's up? How are you doing? It was literally just a normal day-to-day conversation. And somewhere between that 30 minutes, an hour, two hours, my brain literally was like, Well, are they irritated? Do they hate me now? Are we no longer friends? And I genuinely don't know why. There was literally no evidence, nothing that happened, but my brain was like, We have this mystery here, we gotta figure it out. We gotta, we gotta protect you. We gotta we gotta, we, we gotta figure this out. And instead of just living my life in that moment saying they're probably busy, they'll get back to me when they can, I had to start, you know, solving that mystery as us females do. We become these FBI detectives agents, we start analyzing, what did I say? What was did did was my last text message? Did it come across maybe my tone wasn't good in a text message? Should I have a sent that emoji with it? Did did they get the hint that I was laughing and not like trying to be blunt and rude or what fill in the blank, whatever it is. But of course, you know, a couple hours goes by and then you get a text back, something like, hey, sorry, I was mowing the yard, hey, sorry, you know, I was out with friends, I put my phone down for a while, whatever it is. Meanwhile, you know, my brain had already written this entire documentary about the downfall of our friendship. And I just, when you think about it, it's pretty comical because why are we or why am I like this? Like, seriously, I'm genuinely asking. And the only thing I can think of is like that deep dive that I went on about two weeks ago where we filter all our trauma through these lenses and whatnot. And I know that I'm not alone in this because I obviously have friends that I talk to about it. I hear people doing this a lot. Like, people have done this with me, thinking I'm mad when I'm not mad, like because I'm genuinely a person that will respond back very promptly. And so when it takes me a while to respond, I do have some friends that'll be like, Hey, have I done something? And I'm like, Oh no, I was just genuinely busy. Um, but I also like like thinking over the course of my life, just trying to like think of other reasons why, other than you know, the the trauma responses we have, the filters, the lenses that we have, all that was in the previous episode.

How Medicine Trains Worst Case Thinking

Johnna 5:23

But like, I think working in medicine also kind of trains your brain to do this, especially working in trauma or you know, emergency medicine, because you do see the worst of the worst and you see a lot of negativity day in and day out. And when you're working 12 to 14 hour shifts three to four days a week, like that's a lot. And then when you're working with people that have been doing this for a long time and you're having to constantly quiet noise or shut out backgrounds, or you now have a bunch of negative, pessimistic people as friends, it can kind of like just become part of your personality. Because I know when people, when I was working in the ER and people would come in, like patients, they would say things like, I'm probably wasting your time, this is probably nothing, or you're gonna think I'm crazy, or or whatever it may be. Someone has already predecided what I'm thinking when it's my literal job to come see what's going on. I haven't even introduced myself yet at that point, and I truly don't know why someone's there, but I'm here for 13 hours anyway. So, like, you don't have to apologize. And I and I see that now, still like not working in emergency medicine, but working on you know the veteran side of things, they'll be like, I don't, you know, I shouldn't be complaining. And I'm like, Yeah, you should. Like, literally, that's why you're here. So it did make me wonder at what point did we all start assuming everyone else is judging us if we're gonna take out the trauma lens and all that other stuff. Because think about it. If someone walks into a room, if they trip, everybody immediately thinks, like, oh my gosh, are they okay? But the person who tripped starts thinking things like, how embarrassing, you know, I'll never be able to, you know, bring my face in front of these people again, whatever it may be. And we're over here, like, no, half the people already forgot it happened like within 30 seconds until the next thing happens.

Social Media And Made Up Meaning

Johnna 7:24

And I do think maybe like our jobs have part of it, just like I, you know, gave an example of me working in the ER, and then possibly social media has made it a little worse too, because you know, sometimes when you post things and somebody that maybe always likes your stuff doesn't, now all of a sudden you have to become this again FBI agent, and it's very you're almost in your head head like, interesting, you know, this person genu usually likes my photos, they haven't liked this one, what does this mean? And it means nothing because does social media really mean anything at the end of the end of the day other than things for us, not someone else? Um, it probably just means they were busy or maybe asleep or maybe not even on social media or their algorithm isn't showing you their stuff. You know, that could be it, but no, no, no, no, no. Our brain doesn't choose that explanation, it genuinely chooses the chaos, or maybe yours doesn't, mine just does. But the funny part of that is I don't even think we realize we're doing it in the moment. It's kind of that automatic, you know, turn it on, turn it off situation. It's almost like our brains hate these unanswered questions and again starts telling yourselves

Your Brain Hates Uncertainty

Johnna 8:40

the stories. But like Me and You has taught me, usually that's because your brain is just genuinely trying to protect yourself. If it thinks danger is coming, whether that danger be true or not, if it thinks that, then it's gonna automatically start protecting you. And so that's when our brains start trying to fill in the blanks and try trying to investigate, and depending on, you know, the lenses and the trauma and how you've responded in the past or your past situations, is going to affect how your brain chooses to fill in those blanks. And I was reading about this because once I started wondering about something like this kind of thing, I just genuinely have to know. And apparently our brains are prediction machines, they're constantly trying to figure out what's about to happen, which honestly makes sense. If you lived a thousand years ago, assuming something dangerous was out there, probably kept you alive. Because think about it, like if you heard something rumbling in the bushes and you were just this positive person, was like, oh, it's probably nothing. And then you have this huge bear come out and eat you, whatever it may be, horrible example. But it's just like our brains are kind of conditioned that way. Like, yes, we have evolved as humans a lot, but I think our core has not when it comes to like our internal systems, but now our brains still use that same software we had way back in the day, but it's just now on text messages and it's now on um social media where there's not true danger,

Thumbs Up And K Period Panic

Johnna 10:16

but our brain thinks there is. For example, there's certain things that I do not like in a text message, like I do not like the thumbs up and I do not like the K period. Because what does that even mean? Nothing good has ever come from someone saying K period. You cannot convince me otherwise. If someone sends a K, period, I'm immediately wondering if I need to apologize. Like for what? No clue, but apparently something. I gotta apologize for something. And then and that's the next question genuinely that I ask is I'm like, what did I do? What did I say? And usually on the other end, it's nothing. I'm busy. And I think it's just because when I use a thumbs up or I use a K period, I'm usually annoyed. And so when you know, we all interpret how we talk to someone else is exactly how they would talk. And that's just simply not true. We're all different human beings and individuals. I mean, I have a friend that loves using the thumbs up, and I had we've we've even had a conversation about it before. I'm like, hey, are you, you know, mad at me when you send this? And she's like, no, I just like it's just the easiest way to say okay. And I'm like, okay, well, that's not how I take it. So yeah.

Most People Think About Themselves

Johnna 11:25

But I think one of the biggest things working with people in medicine and just with the public has taught me is that almost everybody is worried about themselves. That's just we're we're selfish human beings. I mean, it's just it is what it is. We can say it's not because we're selfish, but to the core, we're always trying to protect ourselves, which can be a selfish trait. Because we are all living inside our own heads, which makes sense. And I'm not saying like selfish in a bad thing. I'm just saying like we're in our own heads all the time, 24-7. We don't get to take a break from ourselves. So something that maybe you've been thinking about all day, the embarrassing thing you said in a meeting or to a friend, or you know, an awkward interaction at a Starbucks cafe, whatever it may be, a lot of us replay this like someone would replay football game footage. And honestly, I think that's kind of freeing a little bit because if everybody is worried that they're being judged, who's actually doing the judging? Probably nobody, or probably everybody, because we do live in a world where we do judge other people based on our biases, based on our cultures, and whatnot. Or at least I think maybe it's probably a lot less than we think people are judging us. Because if you're worried about yourself and people judging you, how do you really have time to worry about the opposite? But don't get me wrong, like I do feel some people just are just playing out rude. Sometimes

Gut Feelings Versus Catastrophizing

Johnna 13:01

your gut is telling you something important, and I'm not saying to ignore your gut or your intuition. I'm just saying maybe before we decide somebody hates us or because we assume the worst in a lot of situations, maybe we should ask, do I actually know that? Or did my brain just make that up because it doesn't like uncertainty or it doesn't like this pause or it doesn't like the waiting period? Because I've caught my brain doing it more times than I can count. And now that I'm realizing it, I can almost stop it. Now I can't stop the spiral because I will spiral, but I can at least say I know I'm spiraling right now, which is progress in my personal opinion. Um, but

Spiral City Closing Thoughts

Johnna 13:43

yeah, that's my random thought for this week. If y'all have ever convinced yourself somebody was mad at you only to find out they left their phone in the car or fell asleep, welcome to the club. We're accepting applications over here. No interview required. This is Spiral City, babbles nonsense. Just bring your overthinking over my way and we can have a whole sketch about it.