Babbling About …. Life Lately

#230: My brain has been loud lately, the kind of loud where you close your laptop but the tabs keep running in your head. I’m catching you up on what life feels like when you love your job as a nurse practitioner, but you still replay patient decisions on the drive home, second-guess a detail days later, and wrestle with the fact that medicine is always changing. We talk about that weird mix of gratitude and overwhelm, plus the role intuition plays when the “perfect” clinical answer isn’t obvious. 

Then I take you into my longest-running rabbit hole: breast implants. After multiple consults and way too much research, I’m still toggling between yes and no, not because I want a dramatic change, but because I want to feel like me again. We unpack beauty standards, self-confidence, body image, aging, cost, complications, and how to tell the difference between a choice that’s truly for you versus one that’s fueled by pressure. If you’ve ever made a pro and con list in your head at 2 a.m., you’ll get it. 

From there, we switch gears into fine hair care and scalp health, including why “training” your hair and washing less might not work for oily or fine hair. I share what I’m learning from product testers, what’s helped my hair feel cleaner and softer, and the practical stuff I’m trying: clarifying shampoo, lightweight oils, bond repair, heat protectant, and hair breakage prevention. We also touch hair shedding, post-illness hair loss, and minoxidil basics. 

Finally, we land in skincare: ingredient lists, red light therapy masks, vitamin C serums, peptides, sunscreen, and why a good aesthetician can save you time and money. If any of these topics hit home, subscribe, share this with a friend who loves a good rabbit hole, and leave a review. What’s the one thing you’re currently researching way too hard?

Transcript

Welcome And A Busy Brain

Johnna 0:00

What is up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of the Babbles Nonsense podcast. I feel like today's episode is going to be all over the place, but honestly, that's pretty representative of my brain lately and probably always. I don't really have just one topic today. I just thought we'd catch up because I have like, I don't know, maybe 47 tabs open in my brain at this current moment. And somehow I feel like just sharing all of that with you is just going to release some energy for me. So whenever you're listening to this morning, night, grab your coffee, maybe your Diet Coke, maybe an alcoholic beverage, and let's just chat about things. All right, guys. Welcome to our catch-up episode. I hope you find some humor in this and just laugh with me. That's all we can do sometimes. They say laugh so that you don't cry, and that's kind of where I'm at right now. But I've done this to myself and I can't really complain.

When Work Follows You Home

Johnna 1:18

You know, like first and foremost, I always say when I've skipped episodes or whatnot, that work has just been busy and it has. It's just so busy right now. But again, I'm not going to complain because that is a blessing to have. I'm happy to be busy. Um, I still love what I do. I still absolutely love being a nurse practitioner. But I do feel like one thing that nobody tells you is that even when you leave work, your brain doesn't. And I thought that would change when like I left the ER or I left a clinic job that you would be able to just leave it there. But no, you don't. Sometimes it's like you're driving home and suddenly maybe you're like, wait, should I have ordered that one extra lab? Or maybe you'll remember a patient from three days ago and hoping they're feeling better. Or in my case, um, with my veteran exams, once we submit them, we never know the outcome. And so it's just like you just never know, and it's always feeling like you just there's always more to learn and there is because medicine is ever evolving and ever changing. And then sometimes you just have to go off off gut instinct, even when you're like, yeah, but that doesn't clinically fit the picture. Sometimes your gut knows more than just that logical side of you. And like that is one thing I do love about medicine because that's how my brain is, it's just very chaotic anyway. So I kind of thrive in that environment, but it's also the one of the things that can make it completely hard to relax and shut your brain off. So when I do have that downtime, I tend to naturally fill it with, you know, researching completely random things or, you know, maybe finding another job, which kind of brings me to my first rabbit hole I want to go down, which is breast implants.

Breast Implants And Body Standards

Johnna 3:06

I know I talked about this several months ago, and yes, I'm still talking about it. It's been probably almost want to say a year because I went for my first consult in October of last year, so almost a year, and that was a virtual consult. And then I went for an in-person call consult in January of this year, and I'm going back for a third consult. Um, so two in-person, one virtual. And at this point, I feel like maybe I could teach a class on implant placement, implant brands, recovery, sizing, and why every surgeon has a completely different opinion. Um, because you know, I've been educated and I feel like I have a master's degree in breast implants. But what's funny is every few months I do convince myself that I've made my decision. Like I'll be like, absolutely not, don't need to do this. Or I'll be like, you know what, why not? I'm, you know, I need to treat myself, all the things, right? But then of course I change my mind again back and forth, knowing yes, no and yes. Or maybe I'm making spreadsheets in my head and putting the pros and the cons. Um, but then I'll decide I'm done thinking about it, I've made my decision, I'm not doing it. I've had implants before, I know what they're like, I didn't like them, I took them out, but then it's rinse and repeat in my brain. But the funny part is that it isn't because I want some dramatic transformation. If anything, I want the exact opposite. I genuinely just want to look like myself and maybe just the version of me from several years ago before I've lost weight, before my weight, you know, fluctuated up and down, and before almost hitting 40 and gravity deciding to participate in the game. But then another part of me starts talking to myself, and I'm like, I am almost 40. So shouldn't we just all love our bodies and just accept them? Because who wants implants at like, I don't know, 65, 70, 75? I know we're a much younger generation and they say like the 40 is the new 20 and 50 is the new 30 and things like that, which is true, but it's still a surgery and it's still expensive, and it's still something that you're doing to aesthetically change yourself. And I remember the first thing or the one one of the things that I hated about my previous implants was that they just felt heavy, they felt too big, they didn't feel like me because you know, I like to be athletic, I like to work out. Um, and I just remember constantly trying to hide them. So it's almost like we're changing, you know, one thing for another. And me and my me and my a good friend had a conversation kind of about beauty standards the other day and how, you know, if we don't genuinely love ourselves and then the things that we do in addition to loving ourselves, like whether that be makeup, hair, you know, aesthetics, whatever it may be for you, then we're not gonna like whatever we change because we don't like ourselves to begin with. And that's just the truth of the matter, which I do I have worked on my self-confidence and self-esteem and therapy for many years. And um, I've talked about this several episodes and years ago about how I did struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence and still do. And I think it'll always be there. And I'm not and that's the difference like in these consultations than prior, is I'm not going in trying to change myself. Like, if anything, I like the size of my breast. I just don't like that gravity has taken over and they make me look old. And yeah, that's what it is. Because I do think that women, women in general, I'm not gonna say men don't. I think women are more open about it, and I'm sure men struggle with it too and just don't really talk about it as much. Um, but I think that we as women spend so much of our lives picking ourselves apart. And I do hate that about our, you know, well, I don't even know what the word there, but I do hate that. Like I hate that we continue to do it throughout the years and we tend to make take like three steps forward and then five steps backward. And even though we are moving in a forward progression, it's still like like the body positivity movement and you know, all those things are great, but I just don't think we're there yet. And I also think it's okay to acknowledge that if something has bothered you for several years and you're doing it for yourself and not because someone else told you that you should and you have worked on yourself and you love yourself and you're doing this because it's genuinely a decision you want to make. I think that's okay too. I don't think there's a wrong answer either way. Like obviously, I'm down for aesthetic stuff. I still get Botox, still get lip filler, so I'm down for it. It's just as I get older and think about the complications and the side effects and am I gonna love this and my previous experience? It's just a lot to make a decision. Not to mention, like I said, the expense. And, you know, we we hope you get one set and you're done, but that's not always the case. So, yes, like I said, I'm going for a third consultation. And at this point, the plastic surgeon is either going to think, you know, wow, she is incredibly thorough, or um, here she is again. Like, what else does she want me to answer? And honestly, I can't even blame him. Like, obviously, I'm in the medical field. I'm the person who shows up, you know, with several questions, pictures, measurements, and probably another question I thought of in the parking lot. But then sometimes I'm like, mm-hmm, maybe I shouldn't ask that. And then I leave not asking the questions that I went in prepared with because I didn't quote unquote want to bother someone. And that's a whole nother topic for another day. We're not you're not bothering people in the medical field by asking questions and advocating for yourself. But again, whole nother episode for another day. So we'll see how that goes. Jury's still out. At this point, I'm thinking I'm leaning more towards no, because if I haven't like had an automatic yes by now, I don't know if that's coming or not. Plus, according to my um, what is that chart called? Oh, um, human design that me and Menu have talked about. Like she says that I'm a generator, I think, and you have to either be full on yes, you cannot be maybe because a maybe is a no. So I try to go off that instinct, and that always pops in my head. And I'm like, because I've said maybe for almost a year, maybe that's a no, you know? But, anyways, like I said, we'll see how that goes.

Fine Hair Care And Wash Days

Johnna 9:33

But now we're gonna switch gears and talk about hair. I'm not a hair expert by any means. If you know me in real life, you've probably heard me complain about my hair. I typically never have it down. That's on a rare occasion. So if you see me on Instagram and it's down, that's for a photo op, and it's typically right up in a bun or in a claw clip. Everyone who maybe just sees pictures of me or even in person, my hair kind of looks like thick hair, and it's not. It's actually very fine hair. Um, I just have a lot of it, is what my hairdresser tells me. Like it's not thick, so like my ponytail is not that thick, pretty ponytail. It's just very fine strands of hair, just a lot of them, which I'm not complaining about. Um so I know it sounds like you're like, well, you said you have a lot of hair, but it's just not a thick texture because there's density and then there's texture and all the things. And each individual, oh sorry, each individual strand of my hair is just so fine it practically disappears if you hold it up to the light. No lie. So I have been on this mission to figure out how to actually like take care of fine hair instead of just buying whatever shampoo I see in the store or maybe see someone using, or like just not really understanding what I want to use because I want my hair clean, but then you have to go through all these things in your hair, like toxic exposures and you know, silicones and parabens and all the things, right? But I'd somehow, and I don't know if it's because my phone has been listening to me or what, but I stumbled across Abby Young on TikTok. So if you haven't heard of her, highly recommend if you're on a hair journey. Um, she has become one of my favorite creators. I'll be honest, I don't even know what her professional background is, but what I love the most about her is that she tests a lot of products instead of like just putting them out there to make a commission and ads and stuff. So she genuinely tests the products instead of just telling you to buy it because it's, you know, something she loves or she's gonna get a commission off of. And so what she does is she will compare like drugstore brands to luxury brands because her whole thing is is like you can still get the same hair care from drugstore products and it be affordable. And then she'll talk about the ingredients and um, you know, just tries to prove that you don't have to spend a fortune to have healthy hair, which I love. And as someone who loves researching things, not really, but I do go down rabbit holes and tangents, as you all know, I was hooked. And the biggest thing I feel like she completely changed my mind on, like listening to her, which I also like you know how the TikTok algorithm is. Once you follow a creator, you then get stumbled upon other people. And I follow another girl, she's from Europe, I don't want to say, like, she's got a British accent. I don't know exactly where she's from, and I don't know her TikTok handle. I'll have to try to find that. Um, but she is studying um to be a I think it's called a trachologist, where you actually study the scalp and study the hair because she had androgenic alopecia, which is um the most common form of hair loss. It can happen, it happens a lot in men, but it can also happen in women. And she has completely retransformed her hair and stuff like that. I'll definitely have to try to find that for you guys. But the biggest thing that Abby Young has completely changed my mind on is washing your hair. And so for years, I think we've probably all been told, you know, train your hair, wash it once a week, push through that oil, and it will change. But apparently that is not good for your scalp and not good for your hair, especially if you have fine, thin, or oily hair, that's probably not going to be doing you any favors, which honestly mind blown for me because I've spent years trying to stretch my wash days because I thought it was helping my hair. I thought if I washed my hair too much, it was going to break it and all these things, which can be true if you're not doing it correctly, like how you have to shampoo and all these things, right? Sorry, I'm trying not to get down too much of a tangent hole. Um, but after all these years, it turns out that I was mostly just walking around irritated because my scalp felt gross. And even though I don't love washing my hair often, it's not the washing of the hair. I think it's more so like the blow drying it and fixing it and all the things. So now I'm starting to wash my hair when it actually needs to be washed, which it's great for me because I was always trying to like tie my hair wash days around things that I had to do. And maybe you all knew that already. But the other girl that I follow who is studying like scalp health and stuff like that, she was like, when you leave that oil around um the hair follicle and the scalp, it does set your environment up for like yeast overgrowth, which is why like dandruff is like a yeast, and why you have itchy scalps and why your hair falls out and breaks and doesn't grow very long because you have to have a great scalp environment, which I do think that that trend of not washing your hair but once a week may be kind of changing more towards scalp health because you see more of it. But right now, just from the Abbey Young method, which it can seem very like confusing and a lot, but she even says, like, don't buy everything I recommend, just pick your favorites and then then go from there. So I uh went back to my Panteen Pro V, um, the volume shampoo because it's considered a clarifying shampoo per Abby Young. Again, I'm not the expert. Um, and I've always loved that shampoo. I used to um use it in um high school, but then a lot of people were like, you shouldn't use that, you should use it's not considered medical grade shampoo, it's like um like skincare is, but like stuff from a salon. You should buy more expensive products, um, Panthe and Pro B will break your hair and all this stuff. I'm telling you, when I went back to this shampoo, my scalp and hair feels the cleanest it has ever felt, and I've gotten so many compliments on it. But one thing she does recommend before shampooing is like a pre-treatment oil, and again, go look her up because there's different ones for like thick hair, coarse hair, dry hair, brittle hair, colored hair, all the things, right? And so I I do that occasionally. I don't have very dry hair, I have more it leans more oily, so I don't use too much oil, but like the one she recommends for fine hair, I started doing that, and even my friend was like, Your hair just looks so soft and fluffy, and I was like, I know it's wild. And then I will use different kinds of conditioners. I'll be honest, I don't even know which one I have in there right now. But I have been using the K18 Bond Repair, which I do love. Um, it is more expensive, but it lasts a long time. Like the big bottle, again, guys, it's expensive, but I think I've had it for like almost six months because you only use it once a week. So that's really good. And then I am using um like a leave-in and a heat protectant. I have not been doing heat protectants. I'm still trying to find one that I love. I was using the OGX um bond repair one, but I feel like it leaves my hair a little bit too oily, it's a little too heavy for my hair. Um, love the smell of it and love that it's like bond repairing and heat, but I have switched recently to the Pantene Pro V 10 in 1 Miracle one because she says that's good for fine hair. It's not as heavy, but it also has a heat protectant in it. So I've only used that once or twice. Jury's still out, can't make up my decision about that. I'll let you know. I mean, I'm honestly still kind of experimenting with the things that she recommends and you know buying products. And the good news is is like most of the thing that she recommends is like $5 to $15. So it's not that expensive. Um, I'm trying to use all of it unless I just absolutely hate it, then I'll donate it because don't want to waste it and throw it away. I'll just donate it. Um, but yeah, I'm still experimenting. So I honestly feel like my hair is healthier currently. Um, but it's been a long time.

Hair Loss Tools And Night Protection

Johnna 17:31

Oh, before I forget, um I do try to scalp oil my hair. I've been using the ordinaries, um, oh gosh, the peptide serum, because they say that's really good for your scalp. And another thing I didn't know about hair oils is you're supposed to put them on your hair damp. Apparently they absorb better. And then other things that you could do that I haven't gotten into is the red light therapy, not the not the red light mask, but a like a hat laser to help grow your hair. That's a little too expensive for me, not doing that currently. Um, but also um minoxidil helps grow your hair. So talk to your physician about that because you know there are contraindications. But I have started using minoxidil. I've probably been using it almost a year now because last year, well, actually during COVID, when I had COVID, um, and I had a fever of like 104, I ended up with the hair loss, and I'm gonna butcher the name, but it's like telegymium something. Oh no, it's basically where the telogen phase of your hair is supposed to be so many days, it shortens and your hair just starts falling out because you had a high fever. And that can happen when you're sick, fever, stress, all the things, and my hair just started shedding like crazy. And um I so I just started using minoxidil to help that hair loss, and it has definitely helped. I think I could probably stop it now. Um, I know they say that when you stop monoxidil, that your hair will fall out, which it's not that your hair will fall out, it's just that that minoxidil helps your hair growth and helps it stay in that growth phase a little bit longer, I believe is how it works. I'm not 100% sure. Again, not an expert. Um, but also when my hair was really long last year is when I was using it, and my hair has not ever really been that long. Oh, and before I get off this topic, C, tangent. Um, I started using a satin or silk bonnet to help my hair at night so that it wouldn't break off. I had no idea that just sleeping on a regular pillowcase could be so damaging for your hair. I think the next thing I'm gonna do is get some microfiber towels. Um, because they say that even just a regular towel is just damaging to your hair. So all the things that you think as a girl, we would know and are taught not. So, anyways, because one of my tangents or rabbit holes always leads me to another since we

Skincare Ingredients And Red Light

Johnna 19:48

talked about hair. Let's go ahead and get into skincare. I don't know when this happened, but I have become the person who picks up a bottle and immediately flips it over to read the ingredient list. Um, like I was always that way with food, but here lately I've just kind of been doing the same with skincare, hair products, things like that. And five years ago, I would have bought whatever had the prettiest packaging. Maybe an influencer recommended it. But now I feel like I stand in aisles wondering about peptides and vitamin C stability and retinol percentages and whatever else. Like, are we layering this in the right order? And it's become a problem. But also, it's kind of fun. Um, so lately um I've been really loving some different skincare products. Like, I have my true faithful ones. I've been experimenting with different facial washes. Um, right now I think I'm on the skin better one, is what my aesthetician has on. But also, that's another thing with skincare. Like, I think with sometimes we're just like, oh, I think I have that, ooh, I think I have that, or we follow TikTok influencers or um Instagram influencers and we just pick things up that they recommend, but they may not be great for our skin, or maybe they the ingredients really aren't like penetrating enough, or whatever it may be. Find you a good aesthetician that can help you. Um, and find one that is also open to like budget items because some quote unquote medical grade skincare can be super expensive. Um, I do know that with Abby Young, she'll sometimes have people come on and recently she had on like a chemist or something that actually makes skincare products for different lines, and she was like, Some of the medical grade, you know, they put it out there like it's medical grade and it is, but then they'll talk down about um, you know, drugstore products or stuff. And she was like, Some drugstore products are just as good as medical grade, but it's all about the ingredients, and that's why you have to read them and just make sure like the system and whatnot um is like works in an active way. Again, not an expert, so I don't know really what I'm trying to say. But if you follow Abby Young, sometimes she has people on there about skincare too. And if you have a great aesthetician, they can point you in the right direction. But some of the things that I've really been loving in my skincare line is I did get. Get a red light mask. So I do love that. I wish I used it more. The the biggest downside for me with the red light masks is that you have to put it on when you have no skincare on, like straight out of the shower, kind of washed face situation, because you don't want anything to block the red light. It's not like one at the esthetician's office that's a little bit stronger that can go on after skincare. Um, so that's the biggest downfall for me because usually at night when I'm home, I've worked all day, ran around. The last thing I want to do is put a mask on for 10 minutes and then get back up and then go do my skincare. I kind of just want to put it on after I get out of the shower. So the morning is the best time for me. And I try to do that when I get out of the shower, and then I walk around, do my Bible study with it on, but I don't always have that time because thank the Lord I've been sleeping a little bit better lately. Another podcast topic for another day. Um, but anyways, red light therapy. Um, I have started using a toner. I'm experimenting with different ones, so I don't really have a recommendation there currently. Um, but vitamin C, obviously. I've tried so many different vitamin C's and I keep going back to the skin suiticals one. It is expensive. I'm not even gonna lie about that. Um, but it's a great quality. It's been tested and researched, so I do think it works. And when I have tried cheaper ones, my it just doesn't feel the same. Like in my skin, like it starts getting a little bit more um dull, I guess, maybe uneven a little bit when I use other ones. However, something just came out recently, and I don't know how true this is, is that Trader Joe's vitamin C is very similar to the Skin Suiticals one. So maybe that will be the next one I try. And then um I've also started using the copper, I don't know if it's a peptide one, I think it's a peptide one from The Ordinary because they're starting to come out with a lot of research on copper and it being anti-aging and whatnot. And then what else have I been loving? Like obviously basic stuff, like I love um the sunscreen that I love tried and true. I've tried other things, is the Glow Beauty Brands um oil-free sunscreen. I just love it. I just feel like it um doesn't make me like sticky or anything like that. And it's um the the oh gosh, what's it called? Not the chemical one, but the um, I don't know. I can't think of the word. It'll come to me, hopefully. But it's just not the it's not a chemical brand. Um, but but anyways, yeah. And then my friend has um she's also like my hormone nurse practitioner. She has uh ordered me some compounded um night cream that has estriol in it, and it's used for like aging skin, and it's mixed with other things like vitamin C and some um ceramides that are very um lipid, like thicker, and I do feel like I see a difference with it. So I'll keep you updated on that as well. So if you've tried any of these products or know of any products that you think I should try, definitely let me know what you think because obviously I'm always looking for recommendations. And actually, that's another thing I've realized about myself is I do love learning, but only if it's something that I want to learn. Like in school, I was probably bored out of my mind, doodling somewhere. But if it's something I'm like, ooh, this interests me, I will study it, I will research it, all the things. Like, like I just said, like medicine and hair and skincare, fitness, nutrition, um, all those things. I think my brain likes to work or operate in like just knowing how things work. That's why I'm very inquisitive. I ask a lot of questions, which sometimes comes across very rudely. Probably not the questions, probably my tone still working on that. Okay, moving on. But um, sometimes I just think that maybe I enjoy researching things almost as much as I like buying them. Okay, let's see. No, I don't like really purchasing them. It would be awesome if I could be an influencer and get stuff for free and product test it. But I mean, yeah.

Wrap Up And Share Your Rabbit Holes

Johnna 26:12

But before we wrap this episode up, I just wanted to say thank you for listening if you made it this far. Thank you for listening to me babble about things that pretty much don't make any sense. Um, and I know today's episode was kind of random, but honestly, I think that's what I want this podcast to be. Y'all know I like the podcast to be random, funny, quirky. I know we do a lot of serious episodes, but don't always want it to be so serious. I just want real conversations, no pretending to have everything figured out, no perfectly curated life over here, just whatever has been living, you know, rent-free in my brain lately. So I would love to hear from you guys if you have any topics you want me to discuss or anything that I've talked about in today's episode. If you have any recommendations for me, shoot them over. Or I don't know, just D me DM me your current rabbit hole so that I don't feel so alone over here. But yeah, thank you guys for listening. And until next time, bye.