{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.45,"endTime":3.69,"body":"This is unapologetic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.45,"endTime":3.69,"body":"parenting podcast dedicated to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.69,"endTime":7.38,"body":"candidly and unapologetically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.69,"endTime":7.38,"body":"discussing parenting, divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.38,"endTime":11.19,"body":"and co parenting. We take on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.38,"endTime":11.19,"body":"topics most people don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.19,"endTime":14.55,"body":"talk about and offer support and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.19,"endTime":14.55,"body":"solutions to help you be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":14.55,"endTime":19.02,"body":"better parent, co parent and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":14.55,"endTime":19.02,"body":"human being. Now without further"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":19.02,"endTime":20.73,"body":"ado, let's get right to it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":23.58,"endTime":26.4,"body":"Welcome back to unapologetic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":23.58,"endTime":26.4,"body":"parenting I am your host Carl"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":26.4,"endTime":29.22,"body":"Knickerbocker. And in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":26.4,"endTime":29.22,"body":"episode, we are talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":29.22,"endTime":33.84,"body":"viewing divorce as opportunity."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":29.22,"endTime":33.84,"body":"So we do not have to view the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":33.84,"endTime":37.98,"body":"divorce process as something to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":33.84,"endTime":37.98,"body":"be mourned are grieved, we don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.98,"endTime":41.67,"body":"have to view it as a setback, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.98,"endTime":41.67,"body":"don't have to view it in any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":41.67,"endTime":46.2,"body":"particular negative way at all."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":41.67,"endTime":46.2,"body":"Sure, granted, going through it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":46.23,"endTime":49.98,"body":"oftentimes is a bit painful."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":46.23,"endTime":49.98,"body":"Some people have more pain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":49.98,"endTime":53.22,"body":"during the process, and others"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":49.98,"endTime":53.22,"body":"because of legal battles, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":53.22,"endTime":57.6,"body":"whatever else have you. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":53.22,"endTime":57.6,"body":"beyond that, beyond the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.6,"endTime":61.65,"body":"experience of some difficult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.6,"endTime":61.65,"body":"things that we have to navigate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":61.98,"endTime":66.45,"body":"the way that we actually view"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":61.98,"endTime":66.45,"body":"the overall process and view"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":66.51,"endTime":71.01,"body":"what we are stepping into in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":66.51,"endTime":71.01,"body":"post divorce scenario that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":71.01,"endTime":74.94,"body":"completely wide open. So just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":71.01,"endTime":74.94,"body":"because social norms are just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.94,"endTime":79.14,"body":"because Hollywood or TV shows"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.94,"endTime":79.14,"body":"characterize the post divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":79.17,"endTime":83.07,"body":"status, so to say, as one that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":79.17,"endTime":83.07,"body":"involves lots of crying and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":83.07,"endTime":87.93,"body":"tissues and hiding in the dark"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":83.07,"endTime":87.93,"body":"and sobbing, and taking months"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":87.93,"endTime":91.41,"body":"and months or years to be able"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":87.93,"endTime":91.41,"body":"to get over it. None of that has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":91.41,"endTime":96.45,"body":"to be true for us. None of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":91.41,"endTime":96.45,"body":"has to be what we choose to view"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":96.48,"endTime":100.98,"body":"as our lives in the post divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":96.48,"endTime":100.98,"body":"situation. So just as much as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.98,"endTime":103.29,"body":"somebody can say, Oh, it's gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.98,"endTime":103.29,"body":"be a hard time and I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":103.29,"endTime":106.68,"body":"grieve and grieve and grieve. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":103.29,"endTime":106.68,"body":"can also say, you know what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":106.68,"endTime":111.0,"body":"grieve as long as we choose any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":106.68,"endTime":111.0,"body":"time we grieve anything, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":111.0,"endTime":115.62,"body":"grieve for that amount of time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":111.0,"endTime":115.62,"body":"that we have, at some level"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":115.74,"endTime":120.39,"body":"chosen to grieve. So we might as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":115.74,"endTime":120.39,"body":"well choose a nice short amount"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.39,"endTime":122.25,"body":"of time and say, You know what,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.39,"endTime":122.25,"body":"I'm going to choose a week, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.25,"endTime":124.77,"body":"going to choose two weeks, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.25,"endTime":124.77,"body":"going to grieve the heck out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":124.77,"endTime":128.1,"body":"this. And if I need to get the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":124.77,"endTime":128.1,"body":"tissue boxes out, I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.1,"endTime":131.64,"body":"just go for it. And then after"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.1,"endTime":131.64,"body":"that week, or after that two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.64,"endTime":134.85,"body":"weeks, now I'm going to view it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.64,"endTime":134.85,"body":"as opportunity, I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.85,"endTime":138.39,"body":"view it as growth. Because guess"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.85,"endTime":138.39,"body":"what, no matter how we view it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.39,"endTime":140.46,"body":"we're still going to be in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.39,"endTime":140.46,"body":"same situation, it's still going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.46,"endTime":144.27,"body":"to be the post divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.46,"endTime":144.27,"body":"situation. So we might as well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.48,"endTime":148.47,"body":"view it in a way that is going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.48,"endTime":148.47,"body":"to be supportive for ourselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":148.5,"endTime":151.23,"body":"that's going to be most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":148.5,"endTime":151.23,"body":"supportive for our families and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.23,"endTime":153.78,"body":"most supportive for our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.23,"endTime":153.78,"body":"children. And everything else"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":153.78,"endTime":157.89,"body":"moving forward, we might as well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":153.78,"endTime":157.89,"body":"adopt a mindset that says, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":157.89,"endTime":160.44,"body":"going to have some free time on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":157.89,"endTime":160.44,"body":"my hands, and I'm going to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":160.44,"endTime":163.2,"body":"the most of that free time, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":160.44,"endTime":163.2,"body":"going to take these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.2,"endTime":167.52,"body":"opportunities to travel and see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.2,"endTime":167.52,"body":"the world I'm going to get out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":167.52,"endTime":171.57,"body":"and I'm going to see whatever is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":167.52,"endTime":171.57,"body":"around the city around me, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":171.57,"endTime":174.15,"body":"going to go to the museums, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":171.57,"endTime":174.15,"body":"going to become a more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":174.15,"endTime":177.21,"body":"interesting person, I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":174.15,"endTime":177.21,"body":"read a ton of books, go back to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":177.21,"endTime":180.6,"body":"school, develop my career,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":177.21,"endTime":180.6,"body":"develop some new skills, maybe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.6,"endTime":184.89,"body":"find some ways to earn even more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.6,"endTime":184.89,"body":"income, develop a new business,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.89,"endTime":187.95,"body":"I'm going to find ways to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.89,"endTime":187.95,"body":"improve my parenting skills and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":187.95,"endTime":191.16,"body":"improve my relationships and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":187.95,"endTime":191.16,"body":"have a lot more intentionality"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.4,"endTime":194.97,"body":"with my kids. Because I'm going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.4,"endTime":194.97,"body":"to have some free time because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":194.97,"endTime":198.9,"body":"of custody arrangements to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":194.97,"endTime":198.9,"body":"really invest in planning invest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.9,"endTime":202.59,"body":"in myself, invest in developing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.9,"endTime":202.59,"body":"the things that will make the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.59,"endTime":207.66,"body":"most of our time together, it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.59,"endTime":207.66,"body":"a tremendous opportunity is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":207.66,"endTime":211.92,"body":"chance to get free from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":207.66,"endTime":211.92,"body":"mistreatment is oftentimes a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":211.92,"endTime":214.83,"body":"chance to come up for a breath"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":211.92,"endTime":214.83,"body":"of fresh air after being in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.83,"endTime":219.0,"body":"stifling and dissatisfying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.83,"endTime":219.0,"body":"relationship, it is a chance for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":219.0,"endTime":222.57,"body":"us to really sit down and get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":219.0,"endTime":222.57,"body":"very, very clear on what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.57,"endTime":226.05,"body":"actually want out of life. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.57,"endTime":226.05,"body":"divorce going through that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":226.05,"endTime":230.22,"body":"process often teaches us a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":226.05,"endTime":230.22,"body":"about what we do not want. Well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":230.22,"endTime":233.76,"body":"the big question is, what do we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":230.22,"endTime":233.76,"body":"actually want? What sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":233.76,"endTime":238.29,"body":"experiences do we want moving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":233.76,"endTime":238.29,"body":"forward? From the time of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":238.29,"endTime":241.23,"body":"deciding that we're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":238.29,"endTime":241.23,"body":"have the divorce and go through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":241.23,"endTime":245.76,"body":"that process? through the rest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":241.23,"endTime":245.76,"body":"of the next months years rest of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.76,"endTime":249.6,"body":"our life? What is our vision for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.76,"endTime":249.6,"body":"the types of experiences we want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":249.6,"endTime":254.16,"body":"to have with the people we love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":249.6,"endTime":254.16,"body":"with our everyday lifestyle?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":254.22,"endTime":259.05,"body":"What sort of life Do we want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":254.22,"endTime":259.05,"body":"build. And in the post divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":259.05,"endTime":264.03,"body":"situation, we have tremendous"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":259.05,"endTime":264.03,"body":"opportunity to be able to really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":264.03,"endTime":268.32,"body":"define sometimes for the first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":264.03,"endTime":268.32,"body":"time in our entire lives, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":268.32,"endTime":272.97,"body":"it is we actually want, who we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":268.32,"endTime":272.97,"body":"actually want to be, what sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":272.97,"endTime":276.9,"body":"of experiences we actually want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":272.97,"endTime":276.9,"body":"to have and who we actually want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":276.9,"endTime":280.86,"body":"to have those experiences with."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":276.9,"endTime":280.86,"body":"So if you have been through the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":280.86,"endTime":284.07,"body":"divorce process, and you still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":280.86,"endTime":284.07,"body":"feel like you're being held"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.07,"endTime":288.15,"body":"back, it's time to set some sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.07,"endTime":288.15,"body":"of timeframe on the grieving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":288.15,"endTime":293.28,"body":"process, and then switch it to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":288.15,"endTime":293.28,"body":"mindset that says no, I am going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":293.28,"endTime":296.79,"body":"to grow I'm going to make the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":293.28,"endTime":296.79,"body":"most of this opportunity. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":296.79,"endTime":301.47,"body":"going to take this time to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":296.79,"endTime":301.47,"body":"clearly clearly out who I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":301.47,"endTime":305.1,"body":"to be, I want to find ways to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":301.47,"endTime":305.1,"body":"develop myself How can I start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.1,"endTime":309.33,"body":"maximizing my family time, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.1,"endTime":309.33,"body":"private time, my personal time?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":309.51,"endTime":312.63,"body":"What work do I need to do to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":309.51,"endTime":312.63,"body":"start stepping into a much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":312.63,"endTime":316.62,"body":"happier life. And the moment we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":312.63,"endTime":316.62,"body":"start viewing divorce as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.62,"endTime":319.53,"body":"opportunity when we start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.62,"endTime":319.53,"body":"viewing it is a point of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":319.53,"endTime":322.65,"body":"evolution, a process of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":319.53,"endTime":322.65,"body":"evolution that can lead us to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.65,"endTime":326.49,"body":"greater things. All of a sudden,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.65,"endTime":326.49,"body":"everything starts opening up to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":326.49,"endTime":330.42,"body":"us, where we start being able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":326.49,"endTime":330.42,"body":"move forward from things that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":330.42,"endTime":333.84,"body":"thought had to be stifling, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":330.42,"endTime":333.84,"body":"keep holding us back. So please,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":333.84,"endTime":336.96,"body":"please, please take this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":333.84,"endTime":336.96,"body":"opportunity to view the divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":336.96,"endTime":340.2,"body":"process and everything you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":336.96,"endTime":340.2,"body":"going through from the mindset"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":340.2,"endTime":344.58,"body":"of opportunity. As you move"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":340.2,"endTime":344.58,"body":"forward. You can create any new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":344.58,"endTime":345.6,"body":"life you want."}]}