{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.42,"endTime":3.69,"body":"This is unapologetic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.42,"endTime":3.69,"body":"parenting podcast dedicated to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.69,"endTime":7.38,"body":"candidly and unapologetically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.69,"endTime":7.38,"body":"discussing parenting, divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.38,"endTime":11.22,"body":"and co parenting. We take on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.38,"endTime":11.22,"body":"topics most people don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.22,"endTime":14.58,"body":"talk about and offer support and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.22,"endTime":14.58,"body":"solutions to help you be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":14.58,"endTime":19.05,"body":"better parent, co parent and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":14.58,"endTime":19.05,"body":"human being. Now without further"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":19.05,"endTime":20.76,"body":"ado, let's get right to it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":23.58,"endTime":25.98,"body":"Welcome back to unapologetic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":23.58,"endTime":25.98,"body":"parenting. I'm your host Carl"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":25.98,"endTime":28.68,"body":"Knickerbocker. And in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":25.98,"endTime":28.68,"body":"episode, we're talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":28.68,"endTime":32.76,"body":"covert narcissism. So typically,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":28.68,"endTime":32.76,"body":"when we think of the narcissist,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":32.79,"endTime":39.78,"body":"we think of the very flamboyant"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":32.79,"endTime":39.78,"body":"grandiose out there showing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":39.78,"endTime":44.64,"body":"everybody how great they are a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":39.78,"endTime":44.64,"body":"dominant personality, who can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":44.64,"endTime":49.56,"body":"then be very belittling and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":44.64,"endTime":49.56,"body":"cruel and sadistic, that sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":49.56,"endTime":55.11,"body":"image the, that Uber narcissist"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":49.56,"endTime":55.11,"body":"who is out there on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":55.17,"endTime":59.49,"body":"extroverted scale, and showing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":55.17,"endTime":59.49,"body":"everybody how great they are."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":60.3,"endTime":64.74,"body":"That's the typical, more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":60.3,"endTime":64.74,"body":"mainstream common image of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":64.74,"endTime":69.45,"body":"narcissism. covert narcissism,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":64.74,"endTime":69.45,"body":"on the other hand, also known as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":69.45,"endTime":74.01,"body":"vulnerable narcissism is when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":69.45,"endTime":74.01,"body":"you're dealing with somebody who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.01,"endTime":78.63,"body":"is new tends to be very shy, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.01,"endTime":78.63,"body":"they tend to be very reclusive."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":78.63,"endTime":81.75,"body":"And they tend to be very, very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":78.63,"endTime":81.75,"body":"emotionally fragile and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":81.75,"endTime":85.86,"body":"sensitive to criticism, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":81.75,"endTime":85.86,"body":"tend to be very stressed and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":85.86,"endTime":90.54,"body":"worried and angry about all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":85.86,"endTime":90.54,"body":"sorts of things. And they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":90.54,"endTime":95.01,"body":"constantly comparing themselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":90.54,"endTime":95.01,"body":"and judging them selves against"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":95.01,"endTime":99.06,"body":"what others have, in terms of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":95.01,"endTime":99.06,"body":"possessions, relationship,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":99.06,"endTime":104.28,"body":"status, relationship, quality,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":99.06,"endTime":104.28,"body":"happiness, whatever have you. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":104.28,"endTime":107.19,"body":"some of the big signs just real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":104.28,"endTime":107.19,"body":"quickly, for somebody who is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":107.19,"endTime":111.24,"body":"going to be on that covert or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":107.19,"endTime":111.24,"body":"vulnerable narcissist scale,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":112.08,"endTime":117.03,"body":"they tend to have this outward"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":112.08,"endTime":117.03,"body":"sense of inferiority. So later"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":117.03,"endTime":119.7,"body":"on, we'll talk about how they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":117.03,"endTime":119.7,"body":"tend to be very, very grandiose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":119.73,"endTime":123.45,"body":"secretly, they think that they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":119.73,"endTime":123.45,"body":"are just the most enlightened"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":123.45,"endTime":129.15,"body":"spiritual wise, above everybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":123.45,"endTime":129.15,"body":"else being. And they think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":129.15,"endTime":132.75,"body":"because they're so special, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":129.15,"endTime":132.75,"body":"tend to be reserved and avoid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":132.75,"endTime":136.8,"body":"people because all these other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":132.75,"endTime":136.8,"body":"people are beneath them. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":136.92,"endTime":140.34,"body":"part of the picture as well is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":136.92,"endTime":140.34,"body":"that they have this outward"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.34,"endTime":145.44,"body":"sense of inferiority. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.34,"endTime":145.44,"body":"they tend to present themselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.65,"endTime":150.87,"body":"in terms of self doubt, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.65,"endTime":150.87,"body":"uncertainty, they tend to defer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.41,"endTime":155.16,"body":"choices and decisions on to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.41,"endTime":155.16,"body":"other people, they tend to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.16,"endTime":158.85,"body":"delegate as many important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.16,"endTime":158.85,"body":"choices as they can, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":158.85,"endTime":163.71,"body":"they have such an intense fear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":158.85,"endTime":163.71,"body":"of ever making a mistake. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.74,"endTime":169.35,"body":"don't want to be caught in any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.74,"endTime":169.35,"body":"situation, where they are, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":169.35,"endTime":172.32,"body":"know, legitimately pointed out,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":169.35,"endTime":172.32,"body":"hey, this was wrong, or this was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":172.32,"endTime":176.43,"body":"a mistake, this was an incorrect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":172.32,"endTime":176.43,"body":"choice. So instead of putting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.43,"endTime":180.93,"body":"themselves into the risk,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.43,"endTime":180.93,"body":"dynamic of being found wrong,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.96,"endTime":185.43,"body":"they just tend to defer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.96,"endTime":185.43,"body":"everything else off to others."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":185.91,"endTime":189.48,"body":"They are constantly constantly,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":185.91,"endTime":189.48,"body":"constantly constantly comparing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":189.48,"endTime":195.24,"body":"themselves to friends and family"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":189.48,"endTime":195.24,"body":"and co workers. And that is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":195.24,"endTime":198.18,"body":"paralyzing thing for them in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":195.24,"endTime":198.18,"body":"terms of making decisions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.18,"endTime":202.29,"body":"because they don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.18,"endTime":202.29,"body":"wrong, and then appear to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.29,"endTime":205.59,"body":"less than these people that they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.29,"endTime":205.59,"body":"are trying to compare themselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":205.59,"endTime":205.86,"body":"to."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":207.12,"endTime":210.54,"body":"They tend to be very emotionally"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":207.12,"endTime":210.54,"body":"fragile and hypersensitive, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":210.54,"endTime":215.16,"body":"is a second factor. They have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":210.54,"endTime":215.16,"body":"very unstable self esteem. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":215.19,"endTime":219.51,"body":"they will typically present as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":215.19,"endTime":219.51,"body":"being very thin skinned and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":219.51,"endTime":222.81,"body":"emotionally fragile"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":219.51,"endTime":222.81,"body":"hypersensitive, they are very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.87,"endTime":227.97,"body":"easily stressed out. And if they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.87,"endTime":227.97,"body":"get criticized at work, or at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":227.97,"endTime":231.96,"body":"home or in relationship, if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":227.97,"endTime":231.96,"body":"have any kind of criticism"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.96,"endTime":235.38,"body":"toward their parenting or how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.96,"endTime":235.38,"body":"they do things, they tend to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":235.38,"endTime":239.61,"body":"respond with a very extreme"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":235.38,"endTime":239.61,"body":"emotional reaction. And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":239.61,"endTime":244.83,"body":"emotional reaction is designed,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":239.61,"endTime":244.83,"body":"I believe, to make you really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":244.83,"endTime":248.73,"body":"second guess, ever criticizing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":244.83,"endTime":248.73,"body":"them again, because every time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":248.73,"endTime":251.85,"body":"you give them a criticism,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":248.73,"endTime":251.85,"body":"anytime you say, you know, hey,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.91,"endTime":256.05,"body":"maybe let's try this, or, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.91,"endTime":256.05,"body":"know, I have concerns over this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":256.26,"endTime":259.38,"body":"or give them any kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":256.26,"endTime":259.38,"body":"negative feedback or ask for any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":259.38,"endTime":263.7,"body":"sort of change. That's typically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":259.38,"endTime":263.7,"body":"when you get hammered with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.7,"endTime":267.84,"body":"either than being very angry and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.7,"endTime":267.84,"body":"belligerent, or you get hammered"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.84,"endTime":271.2,"body":"with them becoming completely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.84,"endTime":271.2,"body":"despondent, maybe even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":271.2,"endTime":274.68,"body":"threatening to harm themselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":271.2,"endTime":274.68,"body":"or kill themselves. And so you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.68,"endTime":278.67,"body":"get trained to just shut your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.68,"endTime":278.67,"body":"mouth with any kind of criticism"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":278.67,"endTime":281.28,"body":"because you know that what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":278.67,"endTime":281.28,"body":"you're going to get back is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":281.28,"endTime":284.58,"body":"going to be extreme. It's going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":281.28,"endTime":284.58,"body":"to be some sort of extreme"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.58,"endTime":289.77,"body":"emotional reaction that comes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.58,"endTime":289.77,"body":"into trait three, which is they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":289.77,"endTime":293.01,"body":"tend to be very angry, and they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":289.77,"endTime":293.01,"body":"can be highly stressed. They're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":293.01,"endTime":295.29,"body":"just constantly stressed out and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":293.01,"endTime":295.29,"body":"anxious about everything. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":295.29,"endTime":298.8,"body":"world is a scary, scary, scary"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":295.29,"endTime":298.8,"body":"place and there's concerned"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":298.8,"endTime":299.97,"body":"about this and their fear."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.75,"body":"About that, and they're scared"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.75,"body":"about what's hiding around the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":303.75,"endTime":308.19,"body":"corner or what's in the water,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":303.75,"endTime":308.19,"body":"and they just constantly are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.19,"endTime":313.23,"body":"focusing on all of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.19,"endTime":313.23,"body":"stressful negative things, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":313.23,"endTime":318.15,"body":"ends up leading them to become"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":313.23,"endTime":318.15,"body":"just very angry and resentful,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.15,"endTime":322.59,"body":"and aggressive toward any kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.15,"endTime":322.59,"body":"of negative feedback toward"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.59,"endTime":325.92,"body":"them. So they're fearful and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.59,"endTime":325.92,"body":"stressed about all this stuff."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":325.92,"endTime":330.39,"body":"And then you give them some sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":325.92,"endTime":330.39,"body":"of negative comment or feedback"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":330.39,"endTime":334.41,"body":"about themselves, and boom, all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":330.39,"endTime":334.41,"body":"this other stuff can come out as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.41,"endTime":339.12,"body":"well. And, again, a lot of times"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.41,"endTime":339.12,"body":"it will lead to them having this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":339.12,"endTime":343.56,"body":"extreme emotional reaction, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":339.12,"endTime":343.56,"body":"maybe even threats of self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":343.56,"endTime":347.97,"body":"injury. They tend to be very,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":343.56,"endTime":347.97,"body":"very, very envious of others."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":348.24,"endTime":352.53,"body":"And I think one of the ways that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":348.24,"endTime":352.53,"body":"we see this most often is just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":352.56,"endTime":357.87,"body":"constant envy of what other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":352.56,"endTime":357.87,"body":"people have in terms of either"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":357.87,"endTime":361.38,"body":"physical appearance and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":357.87,"endTime":361.38,"body":"possessions. Or very frequently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.38,"endTime":367.08,"body":"nowadays, I think it's in terms"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.38,"endTime":367.08,"body":"of parenting, and spiritual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":367.11,"endTime":371.19,"body":"qualities. So there is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":367.11,"endTime":371.19,"body":"constant envy of Oh, these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.19,"endTime":373.98,"body":"people who are such better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.19,"endTime":373.98,"body":"parents are these people who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":373.98,"endTime":377.43,"body":"have, you know, everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":373.98,"endTime":377.43,"body":"figured out with their peaceful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":377.43,"endTime":381.72,"body":"spiritual children, or they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":377.43,"endTime":381.72,"body":"on their self healing, self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":381.72,"endTime":386.16,"body":"love, self enlightenment path,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":381.72,"endTime":386.16,"body":"and they're constantly comparing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":386.16,"endTime":390.84,"body":"themselves to these idealized"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":386.16,"endTime":390.84,"body":"versions. And that's where I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":390.84,"endTime":393.66,"body":"think, you know, a lot of times"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":390.84,"endTime":393.66,"body":"we receive this on social media,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.84,"endTime":397.89,"body":"we have all of these images out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.84,"endTime":397.89,"body":"there of just, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":397.89,"endTime":402.12,"body":"perfect little family and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":397.89,"endTime":402.12,"body":"perfect way of saying things and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.12,"endTime":405.21,"body":"the enlightened way of raising"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.12,"endTime":405.21,"body":"your children and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.21,"endTime":410.46,"body":"enlightened ways of do healing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.21,"endTime":410.46,"body":"yourself and trauma and all this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.46,"endTime":414.9,"body":"other stuff. And that is just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.46,"endTime":414.9,"body":"vulnerable narcissist, the bait,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.93,"endTime":419.97,"body":"they love that stuff, because it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.93,"endTime":419.97,"body":"gives them these idealized"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":420.0,"endTime":424.02,"body":"unattainable things to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":420.0,"endTime":424.02,"body":"envious of, and then constantly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":424.23,"endTime":430.74,"body":"trying to achieve but then that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":424.23,"endTime":430.74,"body":"reinforces their inferiority,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.92,"endTime":433.65,"body":"and the things they're anxious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.92,"endTime":433.65,"body":"about and fearful about because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.65,"endTime":437.04,"body":"it can never attain these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.65,"endTime":437.04,"body":"impossible things. And just, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":437.04,"endTime":442.89,"body":"just feeds into the cycle of who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":437.04,"endTime":442.89,"body":"and what they are. So another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":442.89,"endTime":447.48,"body":"factor is aimlessness, they tend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":442.89,"endTime":447.48,"body":"to not have any self direction,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.51,"endTime":452.52,"body":"a lot of what they do is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.51,"endTime":452.52,"body":"directed by jealousy and envy of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.55,"endTime":457.5,"body":"others and trying to chase after"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.55,"endTime":457.5,"body":"what other people have done. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":457.77,"endTime":460.74,"body":"a lot of times when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":457.77,"endTime":460.74,"body":"dealing with a covert or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.74,"endTime":465.63,"body":"vulnerable narcissist, they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.74,"endTime":465.63,"body":"trying to embody somebody else's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":465.63,"endTime":469.11,"body":"life, they are trying to be like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":465.63,"endTime":469.11,"body":"some personality on social"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.11,"endTime":474.57,"body":"media, they are trying to copy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.11,"endTime":474.57,"body":"somebody else's lifestyle,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":474.72,"endTime":479.1,"body":"instead of ever deciding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":474.72,"endTime":479.1,"body":"anything on their own. So for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":479.1,"endTime":483.33,"body":"themselves, they themselves are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":479.1,"endTime":483.33,"body":"disconnected from any kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":483.33,"endTime":488.43,"body":"real clear vision for themselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":483.33,"endTime":488.43,"body":"of what they independently want."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":488.46,"endTime":493.32,"body":"They're constantly trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":488.46,"endTime":493.32,"body":"step into somebody else's life."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":493.59,"endTime":497.79,"body":"They're trying to do things the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":493.59,"endTime":497.79,"body":"way that so and so does them and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":497.79,"endTime":500.31,"body":"they're trying to dress like so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":497.79,"endTime":500.31,"body":"and so and they're trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":500.31,"endTime":504.63,"body":"raise her kids like some third"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":500.31,"endTime":504.63,"body":"other person. And they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":504.63,"endTime":508.92,"body":"themselves again, tend to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":504.63,"endTime":508.92,"body":"very aimless and non directed in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":508.92,"endTime":512.58,"body":"themselves as a narcissist,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":508.92,"endTime":512.58,"body":"whether covert or overt,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":512.91,"endTime":517.71,"body":"Narcissus tend to be self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":512.91,"endTime":517.71,"body":"absorbed. And a lot of that self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.71,"endTime":522.18,"body":"absorption and self centeredness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.71,"endTime":522.18,"body":"typically comes out in at least"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.3,"endTime":525.81,"body":"several ways. One of the big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.3,"endTime":525.81,"body":"ways that that comes out is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":525.84,"endTime":530.1,"body":"emotional manipulation, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":525.84,"endTime":530.1,"body":"will do everything they can to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.1,"endTime":535.32,"body":"manipulate others, to serve"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.1,"endTime":535.32,"body":"themselves to serve the things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":535.32,"endTime":538.71,"body":"that they want. And whether it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":535.32,"endTime":538.71,"body":"means they have to have these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":539.04,"endTime":543.36,"body":"outlandish extreme emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":539.04,"endTime":543.36,"body":"reactions if they have to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":543.36,"endTime":547.44,"body":"these explosions, if they have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":543.36,"endTime":547.44,"body":"to threaten if they have to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.44,"endTime":552.0,"body":"worse if they have to use guilt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.44,"endTime":552.0,"body":"or gaslighting. If they have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":552.0,"endTime":555.18,"body":"lie, cheat and steal, they'll do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":552.0,"endTime":555.18,"body":"all those different things in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.18,"endTime":558.9,"body":"order to emotionally manipulate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.18,"endTime":558.9,"body":"those around them into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":558.9,"endTime":563.76,"body":"compliance, to avoid criticism"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":558.9,"endTime":563.76,"body":"to get the things that they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.76,"endTime":568.86,"body":"want. We know that that's what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.76,"endTime":568.86,"body":"narcissists do. Another part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.86,"endTime":572.1,"body":"self absorption of course is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.86,"endTime":572.1,"body":"going to be the empathy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.1,"endTime":577.14,"body":"component or the lack of empathy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.1,"endTime":577.14,"body":"component, or as the diagnostic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":577.14,"endTime":581.25,"body":"manuals talk about it, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":577.14,"endTime":581.25,"body":"unwillingness to empathize and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":581.25,"endTime":585.24,"body":"so they may know what the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":581.25,"endTime":585.24,"body":"person needs, they may have some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.24,"endTime":588.69,"body":"appreciation for Oh, this other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.24,"endTime":588.69,"body":"person is suffering. this other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":588.69,"endTime":591.39,"body":"person has a legitimate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":588.69,"endTime":591.39,"body":"complaint this other person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.39,"endTime":597.36,"body":"needs a glass of water so to say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.39,"endTime":597.36,"body":"or they need positive support,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.36,"endTime":599.97,"body":"whatever have you and they will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.36,"endTime":599.97,"body":"choose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.51,"endTime":606.39,"body":"Not to empathize, they will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.51,"endTime":606.39,"body":"decide not to do that behavior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":606.39,"endTime":610.92,"body":"which would be compassionate or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":606.39,"endTime":610.92,"body":"empathetic for the other person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.95,"endTime":615.6,"body":"that is a major manifestation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.95,"endTime":615.6,"body":"for people who are on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":615.6,"endTime":620.67,"body":"Narcissus scale, along the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":615.6,"endTime":620.67,"body":"lines of self absorption is when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":620.67,"endTime":626.64,"body":"they put all of their needs and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":620.67,"endTime":626.64,"body":"personal quests and quest for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.64,"endTime":630.45,"body":"enlightenment and self healing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.64,"endTime":630.45,"body":"and this and that discovery"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.48,"endTime":633.96,"body":"before anyone and everyone else."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.48,"endTime":633.96,"body":"So you probably have seen these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":633.96,"endTime":637.38,"body":"people who have been doing self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":633.96,"endTime":637.38,"body":"healing for like a decade."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":637.74,"endTime":642.27,"body":"They've been doing self care and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":637.74,"endTime":642.27,"body":"self love, constantly, year"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.27,"endTime":646.47,"body":"after year, after year after"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.27,"endTime":646.47,"body":"year. And they are all about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":646.47,"endTime":649.92,"body":"themselves. And they are all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":646.47,"endTime":649.92,"body":"about their healing. And they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":649.92,"endTime":654.72,"body":"are all about their trauma. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":649.92,"endTime":654.72,"body":"they are all about their quest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":654.72,"endTime":659.61,"body":"and their journey. And it's been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":654.72,"endTime":659.61,"body":"going on for years and years and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":659.61,"endTime":664.14,"body":"years and years. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":659.61,"endTime":664.14,"body":"monopolizes conversations, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.14,"endTime":669.42,"body":"a justice obsession that they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.14,"endTime":669.42,"body":"get into, it dominates how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":669.42,"endTime":673.41,"body":"things function in the home, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":669.42,"endTime":673.41,"body":"dominates the relationships. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":673.41,"endTime":677.55,"body":"people don't align with what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":673.41,"endTime":677.55,"body":"they want on this chronic self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":677.55,"endTime":681.42,"body":"healing journey, then they will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":677.55,"endTime":681.42,"body":"treat those other people very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":681.42,"endTime":686.19,"body":"cruelly and start accusing them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":681.42,"endTime":686.19,"body":"of being callous narcissists,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.19,"endTime":693.78,"body":"and etc, etc, etc. A lot of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.19,"endTime":693.78,"body":"pattern of prolonged very self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":693.78,"endTime":698.43,"body":"absorbed behavior, probably ties"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":693.78,"endTime":698.43,"body":"into covert and vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":698.43,"endTime":704.28,"body":"narcissism behind the veneer is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":698.43,"endTime":704.28,"body":"what I mentioned earlier is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.28,"endTime":709.68,"body":"going to be this secret"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.28,"endTime":709.68,"body":"grandiosity. And so behind the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":709.71,"endTime":714.75,"body":"the outward appearance of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":709.71,"endTime":714.75,"body":"inferiority, behind the outward"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":714.75,"endTime":719.85,"body":"expressions of envy and chasing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":714.75,"endTime":719.85,"body":"after others is this deep sense"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.85,"endTime":723.87,"body":"of they are just the most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.85,"endTime":723.87,"body":"spiritual, gifted, wonderful,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":724.23,"endTime":727.86,"body":"everything else person in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":724.23,"endTime":727.86,"body":"world, they are above any kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":727.86,"endTime":732.27,"body":"of reproach they are they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":727.86,"endTime":732.27,"body":"going to be meek and mild and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.27,"endTime":737.22,"body":"self deprecating, but because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.27,"endTime":737.22,"body":"they are so intensely spiritual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":737.28,"endTime":743.52,"body":"and above others, and you start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":737.28,"endTime":743.52,"body":"getting into this deep well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":743.52,"endTime":746.25,"body":"within themselves, that they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":743.52,"endTime":746.25,"body":"just think that they are so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":746.25,"endTime":750.42,"body":"better than others. And because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":746.25,"endTime":750.42,"body":"of that, they start disengaging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.96,"endTime":754.5,"body":"from all sorts of other people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.96,"endTime":754.5,"body":"around them, and they are only"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.5,"endTime":758.97,"body":"going to surround themselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.5,"endTime":758.97,"body":"only with those people who are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":758.97,"endTime":763.8,"body":"going to align completely with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":758.97,"endTime":763.8,"body":"what their vision is for their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.92,"endTime":767.4,"body":"own self absorbed quest, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.92,"endTime":767.4,"body":"then get rid of everybody else."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":767.55,"endTime":770.82,"body":"So what do you do with somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":767.55,"endTime":770.82,"body":"who's a covert narcissist, we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.82,"endTime":774.18,"body":"gone through some of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.82,"endTime":774.18,"body":"different traits. Well, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":774.93,"endTime":777.96,"body":"study it come to a deep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":774.93,"endTime":777.96,"body":"understanding of what covert"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":777.96,"endTime":781.86,"body":"narcissism is, you can also look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":777.96,"endTime":781.86,"body":"up things like the vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.89,"endTime":786.27,"body":"dark triad, which I think is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.89,"endTime":786.27,"body":"very, very common, where covert"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":786.27,"endTime":789.93,"body":"or vulnerable narcissism tends"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":786.27,"endTime":789.93,"body":"to go along with some sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.93,"endTime":793.83,"body":"factor two psychopathy, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.93,"endTime":793.83,"body":"tends to go along with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.83,"endTime":797.52,"body":"borderline personality disorder."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.83,"endTime":797.52,"body":"So you really have this cluster"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.52,"endTime":803.43,"body":"B thing going on, that is tied"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.52,"endTime":803.43,"body":"into borderline disorder. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.43,"endTime":806.88,"body":"you're dealing with somebody who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.43,"endTime":806.88,"body":"is a covert or vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.88,"endTime":810.57,"body":"narcissist, definitely make sure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.88,"endTime":810.57,"body":"you're tracking patterns get a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.6,"endTime":814.05,"body":"really good sense of what the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.6,"endTime":814.05,"body":"behavioral patterns actually are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.05,"endTime":817.02,"body":"to confirm for yourself that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.05,"endTime":817.02,"body":"you're actually seeing what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":817.02,"endTime":821.34,"body":"you're seeing and confirm with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":817.02,"endTime":821.34,"body":"others, hey, I'm, I'm observing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":821.34,"endTime":825.27,"body":"this, do you see this too, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":821.34,"endTime":825.27,"body":"to check in with yourself and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.27,"endTime":828.66,"body":"make sure that you are clear on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.27,"endTime":828.66,"body":"what you're observing. Now, of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.66,"endTime":831.0,"body":"course, you can try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.66,"endTime":831.0,"body":"communicate with them, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.0,"endTime":834.72,"body":"try to get them to go to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.0,"endTime":834.72,"body":"treatment, you can try all this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.72,"endTime":840.21,"body":"other stuff. But typically, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.72,"endTime":840.21,"body":"you are going to start trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.21,"endTime":845.19,"body":"push on the other person to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.21,"endTime":845.19,"body":"and go get help, you're probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.19,"endTime":849.09,"body":"going to end up making things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.19,"endTime":849.09,"body":"worse, they're going to receive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.09,"endTime":852.87,"body":"that as criticism and they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.09,"endTime":852.87,"body":"going to push back at worse get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":852.9,"endTime":856.74,"body":"angry, possibly get violent,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":852.9,"endTime":856.74,"body":"it's, it's just not worth it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.74,"endTime":860.64,"body":"It's not a path to go down."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.74,"endTime":860.64,"body":"Typically, such people are not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.64,"endTime":863.79,"body":"receptive to any kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.64,"endTime":863.79,"body":"encouragement to go and seek out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.79,"endTime":868.29,"body":"therapy at all. And even if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.79,"endTime":868.29,"body":"are able to demonstrate the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.29,"endTime":872.43,"body":"patterns to them or for them,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.29,"endTime":872.43,"body":"they will find some way to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.43,"endTime":876.15,"body":"that all your fault, twisted,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.43,"endTime":876.15,"body":"distorted and rejected, whatever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.15,"endTime":881.37,"body":"have you. Probably the best path"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.15,"endTime":881.37,"body":"whenever you start catching on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":881.4,"endTime":885.3,"body":"that you're dealing with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":881.4,"endTime":885.3,"body":"somebody who has vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.3,"endTime":888.75,"body":"narcissistic traits and is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.3,"endTime":888.75,"body":"probably tied in with borderline"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.75,"endTime":892.23,"body":"personality disorder, is to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.75,"endTime":892.23,"body":"start getting your exit strategy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.23,"endTime":895.59,"body":"in line. And so make sure you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.23,"endTime":895.59,"body":"have a good clear understanding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.59,"endTime":899.67,"body":"of those patterns, confirm it to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.59,"endTime":899.67,"body":"yourself. Recognize that such"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":899.67,"endTime":899.97,"body":"people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0,"endTime":904.41,"body":"Very rarely get the help that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0,"endTime":904.41,"body":"they need. And very rarely, even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.41,"endTime":908.04,"body":"in those situations improve in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.41,"endTime":908.04,"body":"any kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.09,"endTime":913.23,"body":"quantitative or qualitative"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.09,"endTime":913.23,"body":"substantial way. And it's time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.23,"endTime":916.95,"body":"for you to start making plans on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.23,"endTime":916.95,"body":"getting out and stepping out,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.16,"endTime":919.68,"body":"defining your boundaries,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.16,"endTime":919.68,"body":"defining your rules and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.68,"endTime":924.66,"body":"standards, so that you can keep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.68,"endTime":924.66,"body":"this person's narcissistic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":924.66,"endTime":928.29,"body":"behaviors and traits and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":924.66,"endTime":928.29,"body":"influence as far away from you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":928.29,"endTime":932.34,"body":"as you possibly can. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":928.29,"endTime":932.34,"body":"times, that's really all that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":932.34,"endTime":937.26,"body":"you can do, you cannot save or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":932.34,"endTime":937.26,"body":"rescue or rehabilitate this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.26,"endTime":940.8,"body":"other person, a lot of times, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.26,"endTime":940.8,"body":"will only make their symptoms"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.8,"endTime":944.64,"body":"worse, even if you try. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.8,"endTime":944.64,"body":"all you're going to do is be,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.0,"endTime":948.48,"body":"you know, hanging on to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.0,"endTime":948.48,"body":"drowning person and trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":948.48,"endTime":950.91,"body":"save them and you're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":948.48,"endTime":950.91,"body":"end up hurting yourself and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.91,"endTime":955.95,"body":"getting drugged down into it as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.91,"endTime":955.95,"body":"well. So it might be just awful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.98,"endTime":960.21,"body":"to consider that the best remedy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.98,"endTime":960.21,"body":"is to just get away from a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.21,"endTime":964.47,"body":"person like that. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.21,"endTime":964.47,"body":"ultimately, that's typically the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.47,"endTime":968.49,"body":"only decision worth making is to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.47,"endTime":968.49,"body":"say, you know what, I have these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.49,"endTime":970.92,"body":"other things that I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.49,"endTime":970.92,"body":"create in life, I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.92,"endTime":974.91,"body":"experiences that I want to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.92,"endTime":974.91,"body":"in life, two that are going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.91,"endTime":979.41,"body":"be free of these emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.91,"endTime":979.41,"body":"displays and manipulation and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":979.41,"endTime":984.81,"body":"gaslighting. I don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":979.41,"endTime":984.81,"body":"living my life, or spending my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.81,"endTime":988.62,"body":"limited life having to deal with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.81,"endTime":988.62,"body":"this day in and day out. This"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.62,"endTime":992.49,"body":"isn't something that's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.62,"endTime":992.49,"body":"be viable in my present or in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.49,"endTime":996.0,"body":"future. So it's time to cut"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.49,"endTime":996.0,"body":"those losses, make those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.0,"endTime":999.87,"body":"decisions, make the move, get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.0,"endTime":999.87,"body":"yourself out, define your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.87,"endTime":1004.82,"body":"boundaries, and then pursue the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.87,"endTime":1004.82,"body":"life that you truly, truly do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.82,"endTime":1008.18,"body":"want. Because at the end of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.82,"endTime":1008.18,"body":"day, when we deal with covert"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.18,"endTime":1014.09,"body":"narcissist, or overt Narcissus,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.18,"endTime":1014.09,"body":"the thing that we focus on as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.09,"endTime":1018.02,"body":"the ones getting out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.09,"endTime":1018.02,"body":"situations like that is what do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.02,"endTime":1022.52,"body":"we really want for ourselves, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.02,"endTime":1022.52,"body":"have to clearly define, instead"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.52,"endTime":1026.18,"body":"of vision for ourselves of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.52,"endTime":1026.18,"body":"types of relationships, we do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.18,"endTime":1031.28,"body":"want the types of interpersonal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.18,"endTime":1031.28,"body":"experiences that we do want with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.28,"endTime":1035.21,"body":"others. And so we have to create"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.28,"endTime":1035.21,"body":"a clear vision of scenes of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.21,"endTime":1039.86,"body":"connection, and love and support"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.21,"endTime":1039.86,"body":"scenes where we are able to show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.86,"endTime":1044.0,"body":"compassion to ourselves and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.86,"endTime":1044.0,"body":"others, we may want to be able"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.0,"endTime":1048.38,"body":"to have these deep, trusting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.0,"endTime":1048.38,"body":"relationships that are honoring"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.41,"endTime":1052.1,"body":"other honoring and self honoring"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.41,"endTime":1052.1,"body":"with others, we have to get this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.1,"endTime":1056.06,"body":"clear vision in our mind, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.1,"endTime":1056.06,"body":"then set boundaries that help us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1056.06,"endTime":1060.14,"body":"to form and create and support"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1056.06,"endTime":1060.14,"body":"those things that we most want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.14,"endTime":1063.83,"body":"to create. Then when we look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.14,"endTime":1063.83,"body":"back at the vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1063.83,"endTime":1067.85,"body":"narcissist in our lives, and we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1063.83,"endTime":1067.85,"body":"say, is that person aligned with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.85,"endTime":1071.33,"body":"these self honoring and other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.85,"endTime":1071.33,"body":"honoring relationships that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1071.33,"endTime":1074.12,"body":"want to have? The answer is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1071.33,"endTime":1074.12,"body":"going to be no, almost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.12,"endTime":1077.57,"body":"universally, they never have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.12,"endTime":1077.57,"body":"been, they aren't, and they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.57,"endTime":1081.98,"body":"never will be because of how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.57,"endTime":1081.98,"body":"they operate. And so then we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.98,"endTime":1085.16,"body":"need to make sure that we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.98,"endTime":1085.16,"body":"aligned with the things we want,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.49,"endTime":1089.66,"body":"we have our boundaries in place"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.49,"endTime":1089.66,"body":"that say, No, I'm sorry. But,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.99,"endTime":1094.52,"body":"you know, if you're not coming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.99,"endTime":1094.52,"body":"up to this level of self and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.61,"endTime":1099.11,"body":"other honoring relationships,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.61,"endTime":1099.11,"body":"that's something that's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.11,"endTime":1103.1,"body":"be aligned with what, what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.11,"endTime":1103.1,"body":"going to be viable, moving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.1,"endTime":1108.38,"body":"forward. And it's okay to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.1,"endTime":1108.38,"body":"say, we need to, we need to stop"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1108.38,"endTime":1110.93,"body":"this relationship. And these are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1108.38,"endTime":1110.93,"body":"going to be the terms of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.93,"endTime":1113.96,"body":"relationship. Now, of course, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.93,"endTime":1113.96,"body":"you're dealing with a person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.96,"endTime":1117.95,"body":"like this in a co parenting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.96,"endTime":1117.95,"body":"setting, a lot of times once you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1117.95,"endTime":1119.81,"body":"make that move and say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.1,"endTime":1125.51,"body":"these things are over, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.1,"endTime":1125.51,"body":"to start, you know, leading my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.51,"endTime":1130.16,"body":"life and you can go lead your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.51,"endTime":1130.16,"body":"life over there, they tend to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.22,"endTime":1134.18,"body":"act out, they can become very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.22,"endTime":1134.18,"body":"manipulative, they can become"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.24,"endTime":1136.88,"body":"angry, they can lash out, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.24,"endTime":1136.88,"body":"can do all these different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.88,"endTime":1139.97,"body":"things. And that's where it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.88,"endTime":1139.97,"body":"important to make sure you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.97,"endTime":1143.75,"body":"those boundaries in place to not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.97,"endTime":1143.75,"body":"get dragged back into the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.75,"endTime":1148.49,"body":"dynamics just in two households"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.75,"endTime":1148.49,"body":"instead of one. So that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.49,"endTime":1149.57,"body":"covert narcissism."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1150.71,"endTime":1154.64,"body":"If you recognize those traits,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1150.71,"endTime":1154.64,"body":"again, track out those patterns,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.64,"endTime":1158.0,"body":"confirm it to yourself, come up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.64,"endTime":1158.0,"body":"with your exit strategy, get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1158.0,"endTime":1161.33,"body":"very clear on the vision of what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1158.0,"endTime":1161.33,"body":"you want to create for yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.33,"endTime":1165.35,"body":"in life in pursue that the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.33,"endTime":1165.35,"body":"things that bring you closer to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1165.35,"endTime":1168.8,"body":"the types of interpersonal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1165.35,"endTime":1168.8,"body":"relationships and compassion and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.8,"endTime":1172.64,"body":"love and connection that you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.8,"endTime":1172.64,"body":"want in your life. Follow those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.64,"endTime":1176.27,"body":"things that lead you closer."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.64,"endTime":1176.27,"body":"Everything else have boundaries"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.27,"endTime":1179.39,"body":"in place that say No, those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.27,"endTime":1179.39,"body":"things are not going to be part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.42,"endTime":1184.46,"body":"of my experience. And then don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.42,"endTime":1184.46,"body":"get drug back into the Narcissus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.46,"endTime":1184.88,"body":"games."}]}