{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.42,"endTime":3.69,"body":"This is unapologetic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.42,"endTime":3.69,"body":"parenting podcast dedicated to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.69,"endTime":7.38,"body":"candidly and unapologetically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.69,"endTime":7.38,"body":"discussing parenting, divorce"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.38,"endTime":11.22,"body":"and co parenting. We take on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.38,"endTime":11.22,"body":"topics most people don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.22,"endTime":14.58,"body":"talk about and offer support and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.22,"endTime":14.58,"body":"solutions to help you be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":14.58,"endTime":19.05,"body":"better parent, co parent and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":14.58,"endTime":19.05,"body":"human being. Now without further"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":19.05,"endTime":24.81,"body":"ado, let's get right to it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":19.05,"endTime":24.81,"body":"Welcome back to unapologetic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":24.81,"endTime":27.57,"body":"parenting. I'm your host Carl"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":24.81,"endTime":27.57,"body":"Knickerbocker. In this episode,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":27.57,"endTime":32.07,"body":"we are talking about mantras to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":27.57,"endTime":32.07,"body":"use when feeling triggered,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":32.1,"endTime":36.33,"body":"bothered by upset by the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":32.1,"endTime":36.33,"body":"narcissistic ex, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":36.33,"endTime":39.93,"body":"narcissistic, other parent. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":36.33,"endTime":39.93,"body":"as we all know from experience"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":39.93,"endTime":43.92,"body":"when we have to deal with these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":39.93,"endTime":43.92,"body":"people, boy do they know how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":43.92,"endTime":48.84,"body":"push buttons. They know how to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":43.92,"endTime":48.84,"body":"quote, trigger us, they know how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":48.84,"endTime":52.29,"body":"to get us riled up, bother us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":48.84,"endTime":52.29,"body":"make us doubt ourselves all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.29,"endTime":54.9,"body":"these other things. So the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.29,"endTime":54.9,"body":"question is, what sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":54.9,"endTime":60.06,"body":"mantras are useful when dealing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":54.9,"endTime":60.06,"body":"with a narcissist? Well, I take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":60.06,"endTime":63.96,"body":"a little different view on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":60.06,"endTime":63.96,"body":"mantras and affirmations, those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":63.96,"endTime":67.02,"body":"sorts of things, I think a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":63.96,"endTime":67.02,"body":"of the common practice behind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.02,"endTime":70.68,"body":"mantras actually reinforces the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.02,"endTime":70.68,"body":"negative rather than actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":70.68,"endTime":74.91,"body":"increasing the positive. So I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":70.68,"endTime":74.91,"body":"would start with principles. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.91,"endTime":77.76,"body":"the first principle that I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.91,"endTime":77.76,"body":"start with is when the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":77.79,"endTime":80.73,"body":"narcissist is acting out when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":77.79,"endTime":80.73,"body":"they are saying what they say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":80.91,"endTime":85.02,"body":"when they are being foul when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":80.91,"endTime":85.02,"body":"they're being cruel. When they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":85.02,"endTime":88.56,"body":"are lying when they're trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":85.02,"endTime":88.56,"body":"get some sort of response. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":88.56,"endTime":93.96,"body":"first thing is, we check in with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":88.56,"endTime":93.96,"body":"the principle that their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":94.2,"endTime":100.44,"body":"behavior is disordered. Their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":94.2,"endTime":100.44,"body":"behavior is the product of their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.44,"endTime":105.66,"body":"personality disorder. It is not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.44,"endTime":105.66,"body":"personal, it is disordered, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":105.66,"endTime":110.88,"body":"is not about me, it is not about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":105.66,"endTime":110.88,"body":"you, it is about their disorder,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":110.88,"endTime":115.98,"body":"it is about them projecting or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":110.88,"endTime":115.98,"body":"splitting or gaslighting, or all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":115.98,"endTime":120.24,"body":"these other things that they do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":115.98,"endTime":120.24,"body":"And so we have to check in with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.24,"endTime":125.19,"body":"the principal the facts that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.24,"endTime":125.19,"body":"say, Alright, this other person,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":125.7,"endTime":131.4,"body":"they are just acting out from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":125.7,"endTime":131.4,"body":"their mess of who and what they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.4,"endTime":136.29,"body":"are, they are acting disordered"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.4,"endTime":136.29,"body":"from their disorder. From there,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":136.89,"endTime":141.03,"body":"we check in with, what do we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":136.89,"endTime":141.03,"body":"want to create. And so when we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":141.03,"endTime":145.65,"body":"talk about mantras, you can have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":141.03,"endTime":145.65,"body":"something that is a mantra that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.65,"endTime":151.14,"body":"says, You know, I, I control my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.65,"endTime":151.14,"body":"peace, no matter watch, or no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.14,"endTime":155.58,"body":"one can steal my piece from me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.14,"endTime":155.58,"body":"no one has power over me. And if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.58,"endTime":159.96,"body":"we're using mantras, and we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.58,"endTime":159.96,"body":"using affirmations that are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.96,"endTime":164.82,"body":"directly tied to the narcissist,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.96,"endTime":164.82,"body":"if we are using these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":164.82,"endTime":171.15,"body":"repetitions, and we are training"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":164.82,"endTime":171.15,"body":"the brain to use these patterns"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":171.15,"endTime":175.23,"body":"of language and these mantras,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":171.15,"endTime":175.23,"body":"in the context of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":175.23,"endTime":181.26,"body":"narcissist, guess what we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":175.23,"endTime":181.26,"body":"giving reinforcement to all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":181.26,"endTime":185.97,"body":"the mindsets around the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":181.26,"endTime":185.97,"body":"narcissist. And when you go a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":185.97,"endTime":189.12,"body":"lot deeper and talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":185.97,"endTime":189.12,"body":"manifesting when you go deeper"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":189.12,"endTime":192.48,"body":"and talk about using our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":189.12,"endTime":192.48,"body":"thoughts and our conscious mind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":192.66,"endTime":196.32,"body":"to create through the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":192.66,"endTime":196.32,"body":"subconscious mind. When you get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":196.32,"endTime":200.67,"body":"into that level of thinking,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":196.32,"endTime":200.67,"body":"well, if you are repeating all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":200.67,"endTime":204.24,"body":"sorts of messages to yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":200.67,"endTime":204.24,"body":"about the narcissist, guess what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.24,"endTime":206.67,"body":"you're going to continue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.24,"endTime":206.67,"body":"creating, you're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":206.67,"endTime":212.52,"body":"continue creating situations for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":206.67,"endTime":212.52,"body":"that to be true, you're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":212.52,"endTime":217.77,"body":"continue creating situations in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":212.52,"endTime":217.77,"body":"your life, where those mantras"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":217.77,"endTime":222.45,"body":"get played out as true because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":217.77,"endTime":222.45,"body":"firmly firmly believe that's how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.45,"endTime":228.0,"body":"the subconscious works. That is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.45,"endTime":228.0,"body":"how manifesting works. So when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":228.0,"endTime":231.96,"body":"we focus our mantras focus our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":228.0,"endTime":231.96,"body":"affirmations on others when and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.96,"endTime":234.96,"body":"especially when we focus our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.96,"endTime":234.96,"body":"affirmations and mantras on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":234.96,"endTime":239.13,"body":"toxic other or narcissistic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":234.96,"endTime":239.13,"body":"other. Guess what, we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":239.13,"endTime":241.98,"body":"probably going to end up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":239.13,"endTime":241.98,"body":"creating more of the same. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":242.13,"endTime":246.24,"body":"when we feel upset when we feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":242.13,"endTime":246.24,"body":"triggered, I hate that word. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":246.24,"endTime":250.92,"body":"when we feel triggered, and we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":246.24,"endTime":250.92,"body":"feel like oh my gosh, I need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":250.92,"endTime":254.94,"body":"just come back to myself and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":250.92,"endTime":254.94,"body":"recenter focus on the things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":254.94,"endTime":258.9,"body":"that you want to create. focus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":254.94,"endTime":258.9,"body":"on the things that you love. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":259.02,"endTime":263.79,"body":"when they, you know, send a text"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":259.02,"endTime":263.79,"body":"or they send an email or they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.79,"endTime":267.48,"body":"say something or do something,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.79,"endTime":267.48,"body":"and it just makes you be like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.54,"endTime":271.11,"body":"Oh, why am I having to deal with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.54,"endTime":271.11,"body":"this person again, focus on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":271.11,"endTime":275.22,"body":"things that you love. So, focus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":271.11,"endTime":275.22,"body":"on yourself. I love myself, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":275.22,"endTime":278.67,"body":"love these things about myself."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":275.22,"endTime":278.67,"body":"Check in with all of those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":278.67,"endTime":282.15,"body":"things that you are creating in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":278.67,"endTime":282.15,"body":"yourself. I love these sorts of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":282.15,"endTime":285.75,"body":"experiences. I love my kids. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":282.15,"endTime":285.75,"body":"love being able to develop a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":285.75,"endTime":290.73,"body":"home for them. I love being able"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":285.75,"endTime":290.73,"body":"to grow this life where I get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":290.73,"endTime":292.29,"body":"choose the things that I want."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":293.55,"endTime":297.36,"body":"And then get yourself inside of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":293.55,"endTime":297.36,"body":"the excitement of being focused"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":297.36,"endTime":301.02,"body":"on those things that you want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":297.36,"endTime":301.02,"body":"create and go through and Find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":301.02,"endTime":304.89,"body":"all sorts of things that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":301.02,"endTime":304.89,"body":"name and focus on in a positive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":304.89,"endTime":309.69,"body":"way, and go through and say, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":304.89,"endTime":309.69,"body":"creating this. And I'm creating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":309.69,"endTime":312.75,"body":"that. And I love this about my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":309.69,"endTime":312.75,"body":"life. And I love that about my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":312.75,"endTime":316.35,"body":"life. And I love this about my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":312.75,"endTime":316.35,"body":"kids. And I love that they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.35,"endTime":321.18,"body":"getting to grow up with health."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.35,"endTime":321.18,"body":"And I'm so thankful that they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":321.18,"endTime":324.75,"body":"are able to grow up with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":321.18,"endTime":324.75,"body":"guidance, and love and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":324.75,"endTime":328.41,"body":"connection and all these healthy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":324.75,"endTime":328.41,"body":"things that I get to provide for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":328.41,"endTime":332.43,"body":"them. And focus in on the things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":328.41,"endTime":332.43,"body":"that you really, really want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":332.43,"endTime":337.53,"body":"create. Put your focus over as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":332.43,"endTime":337.53,"body":"far away from the Narcissus as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":337.53,"endTime":341.28,"body":"possible into the new life that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":337.53,"endTime":341.28,"body":"you are creating. So if the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":341.28,"endTime":346.02,"body":"narcissist is showing up to try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":341.28,"endTime":346.02,"body":"to take your attention, trying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":346.02,"endTime":350.73,"body":"to divert your attention from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":346.02,"endTime":350.73,"body":"your life onto their life, swing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":350.73,"endTime":354.63,"body":"at the other direction, put all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":350.73,"endTime":354.63,"body":"of your attention over onto your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.63,"endTime":358.14,"body":"own life, the things you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.63,"endTime":358.14,"body":"creating your loved ones, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.14,"endTime":361.89,"body":"things that you find most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.14,"endTime":361.89,"body":"important to yourself, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.89,"endTime":366.12,"body":"environment that is probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.89,"endTime":366.12,"body":"best to do this is Find yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":366.12,"endTime":371.46,"body":"a nice, quiet space, get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":366.12,"endTime":371.46,"body":"yourself relaxed, lay down, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.46,"endTime":374.22,"body":"know, close your eyes, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.46,"endTime":374.22,"body":"whatever have you sit in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":374.22,"endTime":378.12,"body":"chair, whatever your you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":374.22,"endTime":378.12,"body":"comfortable places, get yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":378.12,"endTime":384.33,"body":"relaxed. And then allow those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":378.12,"endTime":384.33,"body":"statements of love and creation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":384.45,"endTime":390.42,"body":"and excitement and joy. And just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":384.45,"endTime":390.42,"body":"focus on those things that are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":390.42,"endTime":393.99,"body":"most meaningful to you. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":390.42,"endTime":393.99,"body":"allow those statements to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.99,"endTime":398.37,"body":"sink down into allow them to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.99,"endTime":398.37,"body":"release into your subconscious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":398.37,"endTime":402.09,"body":"repeat them take about a couple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":398.37,"endTime":402.09,"body":"minutes to do that. Maybe check"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.09,"endTime":405.63,"body":"in a couple times throughout the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.09,"endTime":405.63,"body":"day, five minutes, three times a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.63,"endTime":408.9,"body":"day, just to go over all those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.63,"endTime":408.9,"body":"things that you love and want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":408.9,"endTime":412.47,"body":"create. And then what happens is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":408.9,"endTime":412.47,"body":"you start training your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":412.47,"endTime":416.43,"body":"conscious mind, to go to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":412.47,"endTime":416.43,"body":"place of love to go to the place"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":416.43,"endTime":419.52,"body":"of creation to go to the place"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":416.43,"endTime":419.52,"body":"of the things that you're truly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":419.52,"endTime":423.06,"body":"excited about. Rather than keep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":419.52,"endTime":423.06,"body":"going back to the place that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":423.06,"endTime":426.9,"body":"you're not excited about in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":423.06,"endTime":426.9,"body":"place that you don't want to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.9,"endTime":430.68,"body":"which is down the Narcissus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.9,"endTime":430.68,"body":"path. So that's my approach on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.68,"endTime":433.41,"body":"mantras. Start with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.68,"endTime":433.41,"body":"principle that whatever they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.41,"endTime":437.31,"body":"doing is about their disorder."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.41,"endTime":437.31,"body":"And so don't focus on their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":437.31,"endTime":440.94,"body":"disorder. Focus on yourself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":437.31,"endTime":440.94,"body":"focus on your life, focus on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.94,"endTime":444.72,"body":"things that you're creating. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.94,"endTime":444.72,"body":"then put your love and attention"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":444.72,"endTime":448.77,"body":"and joy and energy into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":444.72,"endTime":448.77,"body":"bolstering in repeating and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":448.77,"endTime":451.92,"body":"training those patterns within"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":448.77,"endTime":451.92,"body":"yourself that are going to lead"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":451.92,"endTime":454.56,"body":"you to create the experiences"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":451.92,"endTime":454.56,"body":"you truly want."}]}