Tipping, Tesla's & The Time I worked with Norman Cook

In this episode it is a medical, mechanical and social disaster. Paul is fighting man flu with hot fizzy lemonade, Chris is driving a Ford Fiesta that’s basically an aquarium, and robots are delivering pasta while demanding tips. There’s a full-blown class war involving Ocado and Centre Parcs, plus a completely unnecessary name-drop involving Fatboy Slim and a Tesla. No plan. No prep. No lessons learned!

Thanks for listening and do not forget to like, subscribe and share with your mates. You can get in touch with your questions, shoutouts, TUTS of the week, or if you have a complaint (although we might bypass those) to postpavilionpodcast@gmail.com or check us out on Facebook and Instagram @postpavilionpodcast for all your pod updates 

Transcript

Chris 0:28

Welcome back to the Post Pavilion Podcast with me, Chris Morley.

Paul 0:34

And me, Paul Gilbert. Do you what I nearly said then?

Chris 0:37

Go on.

Paul 0:37

I nearly said Chris Morley. Well, you could do. Well, I zoned out when you were doing the intro.

Chris 0:43

Should we do the intro again then?

Paul 0:44

Yeah, go on then. Do the intro again because I generally I was just staring into space and I nearly said Chris Morley, and I'm obviously not Chris Morley. So do it again, take two.

Chris 0:53

Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast with me, Chris Morley. And me, Paul Gilbert. I'd tell you what you nailed it. Absolutely nailed it.

Paul 1:03

Chris! Episode two. Well, who'd have thought? I know. All them months of you pestering me.

Chris 1:10

Yeah.

Paul 1:10

And we're now on episode two. So we have achieved more than we did last time. So that's a st that's a good start, isn't it? Good start.

Chris 1:18

Great start. Yeah. Since the first episode.

Paul 1:22

Yeah.

Chris 1:23

We've had some lovely feedback. We have, haven't we? Yeah. It's been as we've had at least three likes on a on an Instagram post.

Paul 1:31

Well, we had five likes on a reel. Oh. Because I'm obviously ahead of social media.

Chris 1:36

Of course. Of course. Now, for those that have just tuned into this episode, Paul, you are head of socials.

Paul 1:42

I'm head of socials, yeah.

Chris 1:44

And I'm head of technical.

Paul 1:45

Yeah, so I think I got the easy, easy side of it, really.

Chris 1:50

I th well you could do let's be honest, it's all AI these days, isn't it?

Paul 1:54

Well, it's not really, is it? This bit's not AI though, is it?

Chris 1:56

No, this is real. This is real stuff.

Paul 1:59

Uh no, authentic. We said that in episode one. We're authentic.

Chris 2:02

And what's amazing is actually people have said, oh, the podcast is coming back. I was like, yeah. So thanks to you know, I reckon we've got quite a few lists from previous.

Paul 2:12

That's good then. People have come back to us. So if you are joined us and you've returned back to us, thank you so much for coming back on the journey with us. It means a lot, actually. It does mean a lot. And I'm gonna do I'm gonna I want to do a public apology.

Chris 2:26

Oh go on then. Right.

Paul 2:28

What is it? I I am sorry that the Post Ravilion podcast has not been around and it is all my fault because I just keep mugging you off on it.

Chris 2:36

Well, apology has been accepted. Thank you. You know, you've learned from your mistakes, and it's time to move on.

Paul 2:43

Yeah, do you know what is the same from episode one to episode two? What's that? I've generally rolled out of bed again.

Chris 2:51

You prepared this very well.

Paul 2:52

Yeah, literally, I rolled out of bed again. I'm literally in the same shorts and t-shirt I was. I'm literally in the same position I was when we recorded episode one.

Chris 3:02

Well, for those obviously we can't see what you do because it's all audio, but you've thank goodness, thank goodness we can't see you. Um and you're holding a pillow in front of you as well.

Paul 3:11

Yeah, I am, yeah, because well, if I sound a bit groggy, it's just because I am uh I I'm not well. You've got man flu. I've got man flu. What is this flu knocking me for sick?

Chris 3:22

What is this flu that's going about? I'll tell you what, I am done with January. Everybody I know has got some sort of cold, chest infection, cough. What's going on? I've never known anything like it.

Paul 3:32

Yeah, but I just I was fine, and then I just kind of have gone back to work a little bit, and yeah, and then literally I went back to work on Monday, I've had three weeks off, and then I went back to work, and Monday driving up to where I work, I just suddenly felt a bit poo.

Chris 3:49

Have you have you been having a hot drink? Have you put a a vest on? All those big things. A vest? Yeah, apparently that's a that's a thing to do. What by wearing a vest? Yeah, keep your chest warm. That that that's another that's an old school thing.

Paul 4:01

Yeah.

Chris 4:01

Oh, is it? I think it's before we had central heating.

Paul 4:03

To be fair, last night, uh last night my girlfriend did make me a uh honey, lemonade, and lemon hot drink.

Chris 4:12

Honey lemonade?

Paul 4:13

Yeah.

Chris 4:14

What?

Paul 4:15

So you but you put the honey in, then you put the lemonade in, then you put the lemon in, you put it in the microwave for 50 minutes.

Chris 4:22

Ah well, 50 minutes?

Paul 4:23

No, not 50 minutes, I mean 50 seconds. 50 seconds. You put it in for 50 seconds. I was gonna say like a like a hang on is it called like a hot toddy?

Chris 4:34

Is that what it is? No, that's got that's got whiskey in it or brandy.

Paul 4:37

Oh no, I don't want that.

Chris 4:39

Hang on. Let's just rewind. Honey, hot honey and lemon. Completely understand that. That I get. The fact that you added lemonade into it is blowing my mind.

Paul 4:52

And secondly, apparently it's an old what it's a it's a it's an old like nurse's trick, apparently. What? Granddad or someone used to like, if you're feeling ill, bit of honey, bit of lemonade, bit of lemon, get it in the old microwave, 50 seconds. And to be fair, I did feel a bit better after it, and it sent me to sleep.

Chris 5:11

But it's the lemonade I don't get. The fizziness of the lemonade, you know.

Paul 5:15

Yeah, but sometimes if you have a flu, is that not just the same as having leucasade?

Chris 5:20

Good yes, good point. Oh, but I can't get my head round this. The hot honey and lemon, I get it. I've had it before. Right. But to add fizziness from the lemonade and warming it up, I've never had a warm, fizzy drink.

Paul 5:38

Apart from when you're on the beach. Have you ever been on the beach when you've been on holiday and you have like a bottle of coke? Yeah, you put it in the sand and then you type taste it, and you're like, oh my god. So boiling.

Chris 5:50

And is this just me? Has anybody else done this? Because I'm really intrigued. I didn't think this was a thing.

Paul 5:56

So if you are, I don't want you to comment like you know, we don't do negativity on this podcast, but if it is a thing that you are aware of, comment on the podcast, whatever stream is. Because I don't got a little comment down below. I don't think anybody's commenting on this. If I if I could, if I had the energy to reach for my phone, I would I'd Google it.

Chris 6:17

I think people would be with me going, that is ridiculous. Honestly, I've never heard of that.

Paul 6:21

No, to be fair, my girlfriend's been ill as well. She was ill a few weeks ago and she was having like two a day. Sort of, eh? Well, there you go. We don't obviously. Or is it psychological?

Chris 6:31

We're not you know, we're no doctors on this podcast, but you know, recommended by Paul, bit of lemon, lemonade, bit of honey, and honey. Yeah, while a combo. Well, look, I hope you get better, but I've really fascinated fascinated about that. So uh apart from feeling a bit rubbish, how's your week been?

Paul 6:51

No, let's not start with me. Let's start with you. How has your week been? Tell me what's what's been what's been cracker lacking? Oh it's it's the car. What's the car?

Chris 7:01

Basically, I've got an old car. Lovely car.

Paul 7:04

What is it?

Chris 7:04

Is it a fiesta? It's a four fiesta. And it's done, it's taken me up and down the country for years. It's a lovely car. Yeah. Um, and at the time of the record, we've had uh a load of rain over the last what it feels like a year. Well, January is just all about raining. It's just rain. My garden was flooded and the cars flooded. So you know it's bad when you're turning round a corner and the water in the footwells start going left to right like a little way. Actual water, yeah. I've been driving around in Wellers. So I was like, oh, I could could I put up with this in your driver's footwell as well.

Paul 7:44

Yeah, and driver's footwell. So both the footwells behind, the passage, yeah. And you.

Chris 7:50

Yeah. But it's not coming in, and I go, oh, you know, what it's have you got a sunroof? I haven't got the sunroof, I haven't even got air conditioning, so it's it's proper old sun your your fiesta is a proper old car then.

Paul 8:01

It's an old car. What year is it? 09?

Chris 8:03

2009. Oh, it is 09. 2009. It's done me wonders, but is it time for me to go time for a new one?

Paul 8:12

This is a conversation we've been having for a while though.

Chris 8:15

Because without me drilling a hole in it and letting the water drain out, which is probably gonna well, it's not obviously not gonna that's not a great thing to do, is it?

Paul 8:23

But they did that once on um Totgear, didn't they? Or was it Grand Tour where um I think uh Richard Hammond had driven through a lake or something, or a Ford, yeah, that's what we call it, isn't it? A Ford. Yeah, and his car flooded and they just Oh, he he used a gun because they were in Africa or something, and just holes. He shot holes into the footwell and all the water came out.

Chris 8:44

Well, just picture that because that's what my car is like now. So it's in the garage. So weirdly, I'm probably gonna get a phone call halfway through this podcast to go, sorry mate, it's a big job.

Paul 8:54

Do you know what would be exclusive? Literally, you need to answer the phone if he does ring while recording, answer the phone, put it on loudspeaker, let's hear what he's got to say. That'd be funny. All he's gonna say is it's buggered, but I want to I think we should do an exclusive.

Chris 9:10

Or they'll or best case scenario, they go, Oh, it's just a leaky seal. That uh that that's an easy job. So that is best case scenario.

Paul 9:17

How big's a seal if it's filling up the footwell of your rear of your car and the front of your car?

Chris 9:22

Well, it it was it was that bad I had to ask you for a jug and a cup to jug the water out of my boot where my spare tire is.

Paul 9:29

The jug that I used to make my gravy.

Chris 9:32

It's got half of mine Ed beach on it.

Paul 9:35

Yeah. I did boil wash it as well. When you left. Yeah. After using it, I bought the kettle and literally left it there. I left it there for about an hour.

Chris 9:43

That was about that's about 100 miles of uh of dirty water that I scooped out uh from my boot the other day. So that's happened. That's in the garage. That's in the garage. Uh what else has happened? Uh oh, I've I've I've moved a wardrobe. Oh, did you do that? Yeah. I've and I'm not good with DIY. I'm useless. But luckily, my father-in-law's very good. So uh we moved the big wardrobe from the front bedroom into the back bedroom.

Paul 10:12

Right? And that's it. So what this is a this is a top ticket podcast. Well, try it, well, we'll. Yeah, we're literally. So that's where you weep. So you I don't do DIY, so I can sympathise with you. I hate DIY.

Chris 10:24

Uh I don't mind a bit of painting, anything that involves sawing, uh, screwing, uh, or or uh just requires a lot of thinking. I'm no good.

Paul 10:37

So you've been doing some DIY.

Chris 10:38

So DIY round the house uh and then working as well.

Paul 10:41

That's because recently, since we since the one episode we did in season three in 2023, um you moved house, didn't you?

Chris 10:50

Yeah, we need to talk about that because there's been a few things that have changed since since we last spoke, originally spoke in 2002. When was it? 2020.

Paul 11:01

I was gonna say 8th of April 2023.

Chris 11:04

I was gonna say 2003 then.

Paul 11:05

How was I? I didn't know you in 2003.

Chris 11:08

I know, but that seems like only yesterday. Anyway. Does it? For me it does. Right. Alright, yeah. Anyway, so where was we going with this?

Paul 11:16

Uh a lot of things changed.

Chris 11:17

A lot of things have changed. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I'm alright actually, I'm okay. Uh so uh so basically, um, yeah, a lot has changed. I moved house a couple of years ago. Now I was staying in the same play in the same area, yeah. Moved in with the in-laws for a few months, yeah, and basically moved round the corner to my new house.

Paul 11:40

Nice house though.

Chris 11:41

It's well, it's okay. It's alright. What do you mean it's alright? I do know I when I started looking round this house, the one I'm in now, didn't like it. I had to be convinced.

Paul 11:51

I did remember you saying, if you heard me take a drink there, I do apologize, but I'm I'm very thirsty.

Chris 11:56

Is that your is that your hot lemonade and honey?

Paul 12:02

Oh you like your lemons? Sugar-free. Um so you didn't like your house when you first pulled up. Didn't like it. Didn't like it. When you looked round.

Chris 12:09

And then um What did you like about it? I think I think it's because it was empty. So I I I couldn't picture stuff in the house. I I like to go to somebody's house to go, oh that looks nice. I like what they did with the place.

Paul 12:24

Oh, so you could basically go, it looks lived in.

Chris 12:27

Yes. Whereas this house literally had a cupboard and and white paint everywhere. It was it was I just couldn't see myself in it. But now I'm in it and it's been a couple of years now. I've come to love it.

Paul 12:40

How many how many years has it been?

Chris 12:42

Two years? Be two years this year, yeah. Really? Yeah, two, two years. Yeah. So uh so that's happened. Yeah. So you moved house. Anything else? Moved house, um car's gone.

Paul 12:54

Hoover.

Chris 12:55

Hoover, Hoover's still knocking about, yeah. Hoover's still in, uh, and about to replace uh a dryer, uh, a washing machine, yeah, and a cooker.

Paul 13:08

But you're not not your fridge freezer. And I'm only saying fridge freezer because I uh a friend of mine um said I posted on the socials uh a few weeks ago. Uh I think I posted the um the reel that we were coming back, it was like the teaser episode. Yeah. Teaser thing. And I was with him that day, and all he kept going was, all you do is talk about fridge freezers.

Chris 13:33

Well, well, that particular episode, which you can listen back to, is a very good it's it's a good episode, isn't it?

Paul 13:39

It's a cracking, actually, that's one of our most listened to episodes. But I was actually with him yesterday, and all he kept going on about was my fridge freezer. He was like, Oh, post-filling podcast, talk about the fridge freezer. No, the really sent me a message, replied to the story, all passive aggressive. I'm gonna name him Lee. Shut up, just because you haven't got a fridge freezer that goes on holiday.

Chris 14:00

Now, for those that have just tuned in and go, what the hell are these two talking about? The fridge freezer episode you can listen back to, but we're basically talking about that your fridge goes goes into into goes into holiday mode.

Paul 14:13

And let's be clear, it doesn't go into holiday mode. I don't like go, all right, fridge, I'm off on holiday for a week. And he goes, No problem, holiday mode initiated. But what is holiday mode? Hold a button.

Chris 14:26

What is it?

Paul 14:27

What does it do? No, I just spotted it on the anyway. If you want to listen about the fridge freezer, go back and listen to another episode. Because technically, we are doing what he said we were gonna do and he took the Mickey out for you today. So let's stop talking about the fridge freezer.

Chris 14:41

Right, what we've got to talk about is uh is a bit of you now about me, um about the last time you know we revert back to the last time, but it's been so long.

Paul 14:51

Yeah, it's been years.

Chris 14:52

But we go back to uh the time where you were in a boardroom in a very well in a in a in a in a corporate environment, shall we say?

Paul 15:04

Yes, yes, what's happened what's happened is uh I obviously we met at a Butlin's um as Redcoats. Uh I was a little bit older than you, but yeah, we started as Red Coats, um, and then I went up the ladder. I went into You went corporate ladder, yeah. I went up the corporate ladder, and I actually stayed there for 19 years, and then January 2024, yeah, after 19 years, I left. I've gone.

Chris 15:36

So you've left, but what did you go and do?

Paul 15:38

Well, I have now joined. So years ago, we used to be on stage together. We did many years ago. Yeah, we did. We we we did many years of lots of stuff on stage, and then I went into the corporate world. Uh I wouldn't say it's corporate world, but it it is to the outside world, you're in a corporate role.

Chris 15:54

You've basically gone from the stage to the office, yeah, basically.

Paul 15:58

Um, so after all them years, and then I I got offered a job in a touring theatre show.

Chris 16:06

Okay, tell us more.

Paul 16:08

So basically, I have given up my office job and I have gone from being home every night of the week to now I tour around the country and I'm in a show called The Animal Guys.

Chris 16:22

Jesus, your fridge must be constantly on holiday mode.

Paul 16:25

Do you know what? I don't think I've ever put it on holiday mode. But yeah, I've left my corporate role and I have gone back on stage after ten years. So how did you how did you feel when you're doing that, going from an office job, big, I guess, being quite comfortable, and then getting back on the stage and no, so what actually happened was uh while I was in my office job, uh we have there's a show at Butlins, and they tore Butlins and theatres, cruise ships, uh going into schools and stuff this year. So we're doing education in schools, blah blah blah blah blah. Um, but while I was still at Butlin's in the office, uh Craig, who owns the show, it's his brand, he's the animal guy. Um there's three presenters, and one of the presenters, um, he couldn't do that date, and he didn't really want to pull the show, and it was in my head. So we got talking anyway, became really good friends, and then he said, Do you think you could do the show for us? And I was like, What? He's like, just as a one-off. I was like, Yeah, I can do. So I learned the show while I was still in my office job. I went and did the show, and I went back on stage for the first time in Donkey's Years, and then um I did it.

Chris 17:32

So okay, what okay, what's the name of the show?

Paul 17:35

Well, there's many different shows. So the show we do at Butlands is called Animals and Mythical Beasts. At the time I left, it was called Animals V Dinosaurs, but the concept of the show is it's an animal show that doesn't feature any live animals.

Chris 17:50

Nice.

Paul 17:50

So it's all costumes, so it's all we've got polar bears, we've got penguins, we've got giraffes, we've got rhinos, and basically it's learning through laughter, so it's a fun family show where we talk about all things animals, but in a really, really fun way.

Chris 18:05

So you've gone from being in the office to back on stage.

Paul 18:09

Yeah.

Chris 18:10

How did that how did you find that?

Paul 18:12

I was absolutely I can't swear on the podcast, but I was absolutely tick a box if you do. Yeah, I don't. I was absolutely scared. You know why I was scared? Because I didn't know if I could still do it.

Chris 18:24

Can you still do it?

Paul 18:25

I think well I'm I'm on year three. Yeah, you're doing alright then. Yeah, literally, I've just started back on year three. So I did 2024, 25, and now I've literally I'm two days into 2026. And I'm back, I'm told I'm never at home. See see, but you're I'll tell you what, I looked at your dates, and you're doing more than than any like professional comedian.

Chris 18:47

You're on the you've done.

Paul 18:48

Oh, we're really lucky. Uh we're really lucky to be on the road all the time. Um, literally, we are I was where was we yesterday uh when we recorded this? I think we're in Skegnes or Bogner, and then we're going to uh Winchester, we're doing theatres in Winchester, Froome, South Wales, Scotland, we're just everywhere.

Chris 19:09

I'd say what this is great material for the pod because you are out and about all the time.

Paul 19:14

And basically, right, this is kind of part of the reason that we never kind of reconvene the podcast. Isn't it really? Yeah, I think because I was never really home.

Chris 19:24

I think that was it. You were always on the road, and I was still in I was in my house. It's only me that goes, I need to do something. Yeah, I know it was either that or trade you in, but I couldn't do that. No, don't trade me in. No, you'll keep it.

Paul 19:37

But now we're gonna make the effort. I've got I've got a new I've got a new suitcase that's got lots of room. Oh take my microphone with me wherever I go.

Chris 19:43

You got a got a suitcase for your microphone itself?

Paul 19:46

Yeah, no, I haven't actually, but I think I might buy one. But yeah, so that's what's new for me. I've had a massive life change. That is huge, huge life change. And you think I'd save on bills, but that's not even a thing.

Chris 19:58

Yeah, but you've what do you mean? Your fridge freezer's all on a date, your central eating's switched off. Yeah, water has gone.

Paul 20:05

Ironically, here's a debate that we can have actually, because in January, well, December, I was touring in December, um, and I was home. I was really lucky that we get to perform near my house. Yeah. So I'm really lucky that I get to come home for like two nights a week. But I've been leaving my heating on while I've not been here, so the house is nice and warm for me to come back to.

Chris 20:27

Well, I'm surprised you haven't, you know, you haven't got like a like a smart thermostat that just does it for you. I was gonna get one of them. I've been thinking about it.

Paul 20:36

They're cool hive, aren't they?

Chris 20:38

Yeah, well, I guess they're great if they go wrong. If they go wrong, then you then you we just gotta go old school.

Paul 20:43

Is that not the case if your boiler goes wrong?

Chris 20:46

Yeah, but it doesn't need the internet for your boiler, does it, do you? Do you?

Paul 20:49

Oh, I don't know. Anyway, but yeah, so my bills have stayed the same since I uh since I left being here. But anyway, I'm loving life. I've been to Norway, I've been to Spain.

Chris 21:00

You got international.

Paul 21:01

I went international, went on a ship. I've been on a cruise ship. I never thought I'd go on a cruise ship. Well, look at you now. Yeah. See, I I'm so happy I've left. Literally having the best time ever.

Chris 21:15

Well, that's good. That's that's important because actually it doesn't matter what job you do, especially when you I think, especially when you've been with somebody for so long, and people can relate to this, you know, you've been in a company for years, and you and and there's another opportunity, but you sort of you probably feel a bit worried about it.

Paul 21:32

Do you know what happens, mate? You get a little bit institutionalised by it. Yeah, so it becomes your everyday and your every life, and I think um I think towards the end it became very much um I absolutely loved it. And do you know what? I don't ever talk bad about my old life. No, um, when something comes at the right time, it came at the right time. Exactly.

Chris 21:55

And I think it's if it's right for you, then that's the main thing, right?

Paul 21:59

Yeah, exactly that. So yeah, and then since the new podcast, I've got myself another girlfriend.

Chris 22:04

Another one?

Paul 22:05

Not another one, I didn't mean by another one.

Chris 22:07

I mean if you got the go.

Paul 22:08

No, shut up. No, I've got myself a girlfriend. Another one. Last time we did the another one. No, last time we recorded the podcast, I was very much single.

Chris 22:17

You're free and single.

Paul 22:18

Free and single, man of the people happening, and then I've met somebody and now we're amazing as well.

Chris 22:23

So actually, it's been a good few years.

Paul 22:27

I've had a great few years.

Chris 22:29

Except for your man's loo.

Paul 22:30

But except for I bought a new car as well.

Chris 22:32

Oh, you bought a new car? Oh, someone has been doing very much.

Paul 22:35

That's only because. Here's a funny story. I was doing a gig in Skegnes, which is the north of the country, and I was driving back down south, south of the country, and my head gasket went, and it took me 28 hours to get home. That's another story.

Chris 22:49

Your head oh, that's a horrible.

Paul 22:51

That sounds like three and a half thousand pounds later.

Chris 22:54

Isn't that worth more than the car?

Paul 22:56

Uh it wasn't, that was a problem. Uh but anyway, but so I got rid of that and I bought myself a new car. That's nice.

Chris 23:01

Cool, you are doing well for yourself.

Paul 23:03

It's got heated seats, it's got heated seats.

Chris 23:05

Oh, look at you. See, like I said, my car doesn't even have air conditioning. It's a nightmare in the summer, that is. I'm like, you know the Jim Kerry film when he's like hanging out the window in the limo. It's that's me, me, that's me hanging out of my window, just trying to get some cold air in in this heat of the summer.

Paul 23:23

It's horrible. We've got all the facilities in the Peugeot.

Chris 23:25

Oh, the Pe you got the Peugeot.

Paul 23:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris 23:27

Digo Tesla.

Paul 23:28

No, do you know what? Will you ever buy a Tesla?

Chris 23:33

No.

Paul 23:33

Why not? Tell me your reasons why why I take a drink. Apologies.

Chris 23:37

Because I can't be bothered to charge the thing up. Do you know what it is? I can't even remember to charge my phone, let alone charging my car. And if I've got to go out and go and switch the car on going, oh, you've got to charge it up. I'm like, oh for the l. Give me uh give me petrol for the minute.

Paul 23:53

Question one.

Chris 23:54

Go on.

Paul 23:55

How do you fill your car up? What do you do?

Chris 23:57

Well, put petrol in it. Go to a petrol station.

Paul 23:59

And when do you do that?

Chris 24:00

Uh when I need petrol.

Paul 24:02

Cool. It's the same concept.

Chris 24:06

No, it's not. It's not. How is it not? Because I can go to a petrol station and I literally I could I've got one 30 seconds from my house. And the most time I've got to wait is maybe five minutes. I go to the pump, I put my pump in, I pump away, and I'm done within two minutes. And I go off and I drive off.

Paul 24:27

Just to clarify, we're still talking about the car.

Chris 24:29

We're still gonna talk about the car, yeah.

Paul 24:30

Cool, no worries. Um but yeah, so you're not pro-electric cars then?

Chris 24:34

No, look, I'm not I'm not anti it. It's just a convenience. Um I I I I can't.

Paul 24:39

You know, people can get charges at their houses, right?

Chris 24:41

Yeah, that's another cost.

Paul 24:44

And also, I've got a let's go back to the fiesta then. Yeah. Just give me a round number. How much have you spent on the fiesta?

Chris 24:52

In the last year.

Paul 24:54

No, like over time. Over time.

Chris 24:58

Oh, I don't know. Not a lot.

Paul 25:00

Uh is it over like 2,000? No. It's probably under that. It's probably about a bad, I reckon. Probably about a lot. Well, then I have no point to make. I thought you were gonna say thousands.

Chris 25:10

No, I mean there's gonna come a point where I have to replace it, but going full electric, I don't know how I feel about it.

Paul 25:17

I I I I am on the fence with it. Yeah, but you can even. But do you go from petrol stroke diesel? Diesel's bad, but also very Diesel's very economical. Yeah. Not economical, efficient.

Chris 25:30

Yeah.

Paul 25:30

Is that even a word?

Chris 25:31

Yeah, is that yeah.

Paul 25:33

But then do you make the jump from petrol diesel to hybrid to electric?

Chris 25:37

Look, when when it gets in about 20 years, 30 years time, we'll have a we'll sit down and have another conversation.

Paul 25:44

Do you know what the problem is? They don't make an affordable electric car. That's what the issue is.

Chris 25:49

I w I had a f I had a friend of uh I had a friend round the other day. Well, it's I say a friend, it was one of the uh one of the school dads. I guess he's you know he's his friend. Nice guy, and he's got a Tesla, and I started talking about a Tesla. And he went, Oh, come and have a sit in my Tesla. I sat at it and I went, Yeah, it's alright. It's okay. I wasn't blown away by it. It had a nice telly in it. That that's all it is, you're just paying for a telly in your car. And you could've and you shouldn't be watching the telly when you're driving anyway.

Paul 26:18

Do you want to know the time I've been in a Tesla?

Chris 26:20

Go on.

Paul 26:21

I my one and only time of ever being in a Tesla was with Fat Boy Slim, the DJ.

Chris 26:26

Oh, that's a that's a claim.

Paul 26:30

Drop to name.

Chris 26:32

Right, let's let's you right, you and you and Fat Boy Slim.

Paul 26:37

Like in my old life, uh we were we were driving, he he we I was doing a gig with him, well not with him, but he came to where I used to work.

Chris 26:46

And because he's a big super You and Big Norman. Me and Big Norman in a Tesla.

Paul 26:52

Uh yeah, well basically he we were in the production office and he was going to do his pool party, and I he said to me, He went, I'm gonna walk in over there, and I went, I'd rather you not, because we've got to walk through the middle of the resort. I don't want you to really get hounded. He went, It's alright, we'll take the car. And I went, Alright. Then we just walked to the car park, which was next to the production office, and I was thinking he might be a Volvo kind of guy, a Land Rover, Range Rover. Fat Boy Slim. And then he went, Oh, it's that's my Tesla, and he opened it, and then but it was one of those that the wings, the the doors went upwards instead of outwards.

Chris 27:26

I mean, I would love to see Fat Boy Slim, one of the biggest DJs on the planet, in a Volvo.

Paul 27:34

Yeah, but I like a Volvo in. I expected Fat Boy Slim to drive. The fact that we were walking, I was like, what's that Tesla doing over there? But there's no no cars next to it either side. And then he just pressed the button and the sides of the car, like the doors opened up, and I was like, Oh well, there you go.

Chris 27:48

See, I've got pictures of of Fat Boy Slim just jumping into a Volvo estate. You know, there's like you know, the old classic Volvo estate.

Paul 27:56

Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, that's my one of those. I can't believe I dropped his name. I can't believe he did.

Chris 28:00

So big hello to Norman if you're listening, and you're I can't imagine Norman.

Paul 28:05

Norman, let's not call him Norman, he's Fat Boy Slim.

Chris 28:09

It's Norman.

Paul 28:10

Norman Price.

Chris 28:12

Like your name's Steve, your show name's Paul Gilbert.

Paul 28:14

Imagine all this time. He's just been telling us alive. But yeah, so life changed for everybody. What are we doing now? Let's move on.

Chris 28:22

Well, let's move on then, shall we? Because uh we've been having this uh this ongoing debate of who's more middle class. Is it me or is it you? So who wants to go first?

Paul 28:34

I do know what, out of out of respect, and I know I've got you over a barrel, hotline is sinking, I'm gonna allow you to go first, and you can state your case on why I'm more middle class than you.

Chris 28:49

Okay.

Paul 28:50

And then I'll sit and I'll just take it all in, and then I'm gonna tell you about two things that that that happened that settle the debate. Okay.

Chris 29:02

Uh you like your coffee from Starbucks. It's quite a middle class thing, isn't it?

Paul 29:07

Alright, that that's what you're going with, is it?

Chris 29:09

Starbucks coffee. Yeah.

Paul 29:11

Right, okay, cool.

Chris 29:12

That's that but you ups you you love a Starbucks, you're obsessed with it.

Paul 29:15

You you have to go for the the Chai Latte with a with a never chai latte, but I do go to Starbucks because I like their coffee beans. I like how um bitter they are. It's very nice.

Chris 29:25

Very nice.

Paul 29:25

Okay. That doesn't make me middle class. So case one. Okay, you're on it. Millions of people go to Starbucks every day. So, yeah. State two.

Chris 29:34

Um, you've got a a lovely brand new car.

Paul 29:38

Alright, I decided to treat myself to a new car. Does that make you a couple of things? Millions of people do why does that make me middle class?

Chris 29:43

Does it make you is it just you do it?

Paul 29:45

Did you say no? It wasn't a brand new car, it was used. You'd only do it like 10,000 miles. Okay, it's like so it wasn't brand new, was it?

Chris 29:52

No.

Paul 29:53

You're right there. How are you getting on?

Chris 29:55

I'm struggling if I'm honest with you, Paul. I am struggling a little bit, but I have got stuff on you, I just can't remember. I need to write this down, and I know you've written stuff down.

Paul 30:02

Right, but I can I can try and tell you what based on all the conversations. So you think I'm middle class because I go centre parks.

Chris 30:08

Yes, there we go. Centre parks. That's quite a that's quite a middle class holiday, isn't it? Go to centre parks. No, it's not.

Paul 30:14

Isn't it? I wouldn't say centre parks is middle class. It's just a different type of holiday. You're in the woods, you're in a little lodge.

Chris 30:21

With your fire on.

Paul 30:22

With my fire on smokeless logs, by the way. You can't have smoke logs, you have to have smokeless logs.

Chris 30:29

Well, see, well, see if you go into if you were going to a you know a slightly cheaper one, you'd get proper logs, wouldn't you?

Paul 30:37

Yeah, I don't I I wouldn't say centre parks is middle class.

Chris 30:41

It's expensive though, isn't it?

Paul 30:43

Uh it is during schools out, but I never get to go in schools out. So when the kids are broken up, yeah, it does jump up a bit. But yeah, we I've been three times in the past six months.

Chris 30:53

You go you go first class to Florida?

Paul 30:56

Uh I didn't. It was I was in Premium Economy.

Chris 30:59

Oh, it was only in Premium Economy. Oh, sorry. Did you get a little screen?

Paul 31:06

Yeah, but that's quite standard on all long haul flights.

Chris 31:09

I've never been on one. Because I'm because because I've never And you've never been on a plane that's got a screen. I haven't been I haven't been abroad since 2019. And I I went to Amsterdam for a weekend. That's the last time I went abroad.

Paul 31:26

Are you gonna tell the story about Amsterdam?

Chris 31:28

No, that's time for that's that's saving that for another day.

Paul 31:32

What? Why are you teasing it? Save that for another day. People don't need to know that. They don't need to know. We'll save that for another day. Um anything else that you think makes me more middle class?

Chris 31:43

If I'm honest, I think I've let let me do a bit of dig into the next day.

Paul 31:48

No, we're settling the debate today.

Chris 31:50

Oh, we're doing it just today, are we? Okay.

Paul 31:52

Well, no, we can carry on. Alright, then I can state my case right now. Go on then. Yeah. Far away. So I I think it was it last year I came to visit you in your house, and um, you've got a little boy, yeah, and um a little little lad, and uh he was having a bit of a meltdown, wasn't he?

Chris 32:08

Yeah, well kids always have meltdowns.

Paul 32:09

Yeah, yeah. What do like normal kids have meltdowns over? They have like meltdowns that you've turned the telly off or you've turned the Wi-Fi off or the iPads ran out of battery. Um, but there was a day that I came round, I wasn't even in the house 30 seconds, and your little one was having a massive meltdown. Why was he having a meltdown? I can't remember now. You can remember. You can remember.

Chris 32:33

Look, you picked you you walked in at the wrong time.

Paul 32:36

No, no, no. I'll say it. He had a meltdown, like screaming, hysterically crying, kicking off, because daddy put the acado order away. Look, we And then I was going, what's up, mate? What's happened? Oh, Daddy's put the acado order away.

Chris 32:55

Look, that it's only because it would have been no different if I'd if I if the Lidl had arrived or Morrison's like, do you know what?

Paul 33:03

It's not even about putting the shopping away, but a working man, Tesco, Morrison's, Liddle. I do do Lidl. Right, but wait, you had you for a period of time you had a cardo delivered to your house, and your son was like, Oh, Daddy, Daddy put the acardo order away. It wasn't quite like that. You know it was like that. Look, you know it was like that.

Chris 33:26

It was only because it came from a cardo, it wasn't because it's because we shop at a cardo, it was just the fact that the bags were there and I put the bags away, and I shouldn't have put the bags away because I don't know, he was only it was only what, three? And he was just getting it was just in a in a little bit of a of a hoopy hoopy as we'd like to call it.

Paul 33:43

Well, it wasn't, it wasn't he kicked off, and the words that came out of his mouth while he had snot dribbling down his nose, yeah, kicking off, screaming, was oh daddy, daddy put the acado order away. It's because he wants to help you know my second case. Go on. I also came round. This was only like I don't know, maybe a month ago. I came round to see you, and um we all know what you kind of say, mate. Yeah, we came round and you were nice, you offered me a brew, that was nice, yeah. And then your son said, Uncle Paul, do you want some biscuits? I was like, Yeah, yeah, I'll have some biscuits, mate. Okay, I'll get you some digestive. I was like, Thank you, mate. He came and gave me digestive. There was three in the packet. Yeah, I think he expected me to only eat two. Okay. But I ate all three, and then he went, Oh no, you eating all the biscuits, and then you said, Um, it's alright, mate. I'll I'll pop out later and I'll get some.

Chris 34:37

Yeah. Well someone else.

Paul 34:38

What did he say after that? Oh, Daddy, you can't go out and get biscuits later because we're playing chess. Oh god, no, no, you you've got nothing. You have got you have not got a length to stand on. Shop at a cardo, your son's kicking off, and oh daddy, daddy, you can't go and get more biscuits.

Chris 35:00

We're playing chess. Right, let's just let's just put this to bed here because I don't play chess. He didn't play, he basically's got one of these board games, it's like a hundred games in in in one, and on one of the games was chess, and he wanted to learn how to play it. Now I can't play it, but wife can play a little bit of it. Because it had all the horses on and the knights. I don't know how you play it.

Paul 35:24

I don't I don't care what you say. Oh daddy, you can't go play.

Chris 35:29

But at the time Because later we're playing chess, but at the time he was so obsessed with he was banging about chess for about a day, and you'd happen to be round on that day, and ever since he's never played it. He's not played it since since that day.

Paul 35:41

You sit and watch reruns of Downtown Abbey on ITV Hub.

Chris 35:45

No, I don't watch it. I've never seen it ever.

Paul 35:48

Well, anyway, I think I I I think based on this debate, I've won the middle. You have won it today. Okay, guaranteed.

Chris 35:55

But I will come up with some more later on in the series. Alright then, we'll see. How long are we in? How long are we done? Oh, well, I think it's about half an hour. Oh, that's nice then. So that's nice. But uh we're carrying on? Yeah, let's carry on because we've just got a at the end of each episode, we like to do a thing. We do a feature called What Gets on Your Tuts. It's basically those those things where you go, that really aggravates me. That really annoys me. And you go, well, and you just sort of move on from it. But it is secretly annoying you. So um, who wants to go first?

Paul 36:32

Uh have you got anything for you?

Chris 36:33

I have actually, I have got something, and I've sort of.

Paul 36:36

Maybe you go first, because you went first on the middle class to go. Go on then, you go. So, what got on my toots this week um is uh I recently went on holiday to Centre Parks. And before Right, shut up. And before I state my case, I would like to just clarify that I have not got a single problem with tipping people.

Chris 36:58

It's quite an American thing now, isn't it?

Paul 37:00

It is quite an American thing, and I don't think I think if you go to a nice restaurant and you're on a date, or you're going with family, and you go to you, maybe go to a you know, a fine dining restaurant, or you go to an Indian, a Chinese, whatever, it's I think it's okay to tip. If I'm at a good service, I like tipping. And I have no problem with tipping. But I went to Centre Parks and we went to one of their restaurants and we had uh two starters, two maids, two drinks.

Chris 37:34

Was it a honey lemonade and it wasn't actually, it was full-fat Coca-Cola.

Paul 37:39

Um I'm gonna paint the picture. Then the main courses, the starters were delivered by the waitress, yeah. Fine. The waitress took my order, fine, but my main course was delivered by a robot. Oh what? A robot? A robot. So it's they call it basically we've got no sponsorship, we can say what we want. I was in Bella Italia, and they have these little robots called Bellas that come along and it's a little robot, it's got shelves in it, and it comes to your table. Wow! And then it turns around, it says hello to you, turns around, and then you take your food off.

Chris 38:15

That is incredible.

Paul 38:16

Yeah, that's great. I love that. That's ace, and then we went to pay the bill, and then my girlfriend noticed that on the menu it said we have added seven and a half percent. How much? Seven and a half percent, which is fine. I guess it's ten percent, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. But we've added a discretionary seven and a half percent to your bill already. Please speak to the team if you want it hassle-free removed. Go on. Why are you putting me in a position where this really nice girl, she was great, good waitress, the team were lovely, and so what team was great? It's like, are you are you asking me I'm tipping or are you telling me I'm tipping?

Chris 38:58

Well, I think they are they are basically saying, Well, we're gonna take your tip unless you say otherwise, right?

Paul 39:05

But let's say I don't know what the wage is, but let's say they're on minimum wage, whatever that is. Yeah, they're on minimum wage, so they're already taking a wage. I get that, that's amazing. But does that mean that when I go to the petrol station and I've filled my car up, and then I bought a coffee, and then I've paid, let's say it's £45. I'll go, cheers, cheers, Jamie. Um Jamie. Is another fiver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that mean I have to tip him as well? I get it, I get it. I think I just are you asking me I'm tipping, or you telling me I'm tipping? Because I don't want to be that person that turns around and goes, sorry, can you take that tip off?

Chris 39:42

And the fact that a robot delivered you food and not an actual person are fitted. But do you know what?

Paul 39:46

Don't even fall out with that because that's all part and parcel of the experience. I get that, that's fine, I like it, but you're telling me I'm tipping. I know, and let's say say let's say it's uh as I I I consider myself a nice person. I don't want to I don't want to say to a girl or the waiter or the waitress or whatever, can you remove the tip please?

Chris 40:06

I heard your belly rumbling then.

Paul 40:08

Yeah, I'm starving. I don't know if that picked up. I'm not eating. I'm not eating.

Chris 40:12

Um always talk about food. But um but I get you, I get it because I'm I hate I don't I'd rather make my own decision to tip, not the other way round.

Paul 40:23

Which I don't also don't have a problem with. That should shut but you've already put it on my bill before I've even sat down. Yeah. What is that about?

Chris 40:31

A lot of places are doing it.

Paul 40:33

Yeah, but I uh well, I did my feedback.

Chris 40:36

Did they give what did they say?

Paul 40:37

Well, I don't know, I just fed back.

Chris 40:39

Oh, did you come back?

Paul 40:41

But I uh I may have worded it. I may have taken a little bit of my old self in my old corporate job and put it into my feedback.

Chris 40:49

Oh, you didn't chat GPT it then?

Paul 40:51

No, I didn't chat GPT it. Fairly yeah, I was like, put yourself in your team members' shoes. Do you really think it's acceptable that your team are being approached by guests of your resort asking for the tip to be taken off because that automatically puts your team member and the guest on the back foot. It's seven quid, ten quid, whatever, but it's principal.

Chris 41:13

I I think I'll agree with you on that, actually. To be fair, that annoys me.

Paul 41:17

Let us know in the comments below or send us a message if you agree with me or disagree with me. But that really got on my nerves. Be intrigued to see the feedback on that.

Chris 41:26

Right, um, I've got one for you. Go on. So, um local Facebook pages. And it's the people that it's the people that ask stupid questions. Now, nowadays, I don't know if anybody knows this, but if there's a question about anything, you can actually search in on that on that local Facebook page. So lots of people go, Oh, have you got does anyone recommend a plumber? And it's like, oh, this has been mentioned about 2,000 times over the last week. Just just type in plumber and it comes up with all the posts.

Paul 41:54

I agree, yes.

Chris 41:55

But I don't know if a lot of people know that, so that's okay. I don't mind that. But when we've had we've had really bad weather the last few weeks and it's been flooded down here, and the amount of people, and I'm not lying, when I say there was probably about 50 people, 50 different messages going, oh, what's the what's the roads like from Verwood to Ringwood? Can I get there? How long's it gonna take? Um, a journey that takes 10 minutes, it's gonna take a little bit longer. And I'm thinking, why are you asking people that? And people have gone, oh yeah, it's bad. Oh yeah, but what just Google map it. J just go on to get we've got technology now that can do all this.

Paul 42:37

Does Google Maple question one? Does Google Map do live timings?

Chris 42:41

Yes.

Paul 42:42

Oh, okay.

Chris 42:43

So get on Google Maps, type in your destination, and it will tell you and even technology's that good, it tells you where the hazards are. Yeah. So I d why waste your time going onto a Facebook page and asking such a stupid question when you could just just Google it, mate. Honestly.

Paul 42:59

There you go.

Chris 43:00

So that's what that's. Do you know what?

Paul 43:02

I completely get that because where I live currently, currently, I ain't moving, but where I live, um, they are replacing some traffic lights, but there is kind of only one road in and one road out of where I live. And the Facebook pages have been absolutely dominated by the traffic lights. They're not working. Yeah. Why is that happening? How long is it gonna take?

Chris 43:25

Honestly, people love to have a moan on there, don't they? They're like, oh, these tracks, these are bit it's the council, oh it's they uh it's been on these robots been on for a year, what's going on?

Paul 43:34

Do you know what even do you know what it makes me want to do sometimes is make up a fake profile, call myself like I don't know, Stephen Sigal? Sigal or Stephen Jones, make up a fake profile, put a fake picture in there, an AI generated picture, and then just respond back to people.

Chris 43:56

Yeah. Seriously, or just pretend you work for grow up, or just pretend you work for the council. That'll be fun.

Paul 44:02

No, they'll see through that. It's when it's when people tag councillors in. Yeah.

Chris 44:06

Well, it's like what can they do? They can't like they can't get a spade and start digging. Like it it is what it is.

Paul 44:12

Just I j I just think sometimes, but that's social media as a whole, though, isn't it? Everyone has the ability to say whatever they want online, and they want it instant.

Chris 44:22

You're like, Well, you try building a road mate, like it takes time. Yes, it's an inconvenience, but in a few years. Time you go, go, didn't they do a good job on that road?

Paul 44:31

Yeah, but it's like people get really annoyed about Mother Nature. So at the time of recording, we had like a there was a storm back for 24 hours. Um, and yesterday I was driving to a gig and a journey that should have taken four hours twenty took six hours fifteen. I probably didn't go over 50 miles an hour, but it was raining. There was a storm. What can you do? It's literally not the end of the world. You're absolutely right. Take it a bit slower. Do you know what I mean? Stop as many times as you want. Exactly. Don't drink and be tired. No, don't drink, don't drive and be tired. Yeah. Take a break. Stop stressing. You can't help what goes up in there.

Chris 45:08

What you should put, you know, on those, you know, the signs on the motorway, you know, it says there's an accident. You should it should just say, stop stressing. Stop stressing, chill out. There's nothing we could do about the weather. Take it steady. Average speed, 50 miles an hour.

Paul 45:25

But that, but that just like people moan about for the sake of moaning. So I'm moaning for. I do. Just so you achieve the square root of nothing by posting that post.

Chris 45:36

But people feel good about but people feel good about it, don't they?

Paul 45:38

They feel better. I told him. Let me tell you a quick story once, right? Very quick. I, in my old job, we used to have fireworks displays like New Year's Eve, Christmas, Halloween, and all that. So I always thought it'd be nice to post on the local Facebook pages saying um just that courtesy. Just saying that courtesy, uh we're holding a fireworks display on resort, um, we're doing it on these dates at this time, so I'll last about nine minutes. Um, just a heads up for wildlife, horses, if you've got horses, dad. Just common courtesy. I used to get people threatening to come to my house. Madden it. Madden. I remember a bloke. I'm not gonna say his name because I remember his name. A bloke said, I'm gonna come to your house and speak to you about this direct. So I went, Do you know what? I'm doing it. So I replied, I messengered him.

Chris 46:28

You gave me your address.

Paul 46:29

No, I gave him my address and went, uh, but first of all, I did a bit of I looked on his social media and I was like, he was friends with like people, like friends in common. Yeah. And I was like, oh yeah, you live in the area. So I literally sent my message to go, hi mate, just responded to your comment on Facebook. I live at this address. Um, I'll be in for the next hour if you want to pop around and discuss it. He read it, and I was like, nah, he didn't come home. So he you invite him to your house. Yeah, because I wanted to have a conversation with him face to face. It was like, just so no, the intent was just to let you know. That's all it was. I didn't have to do that.

Chris 47:02

No. Sometimes you think, why did I bother?

Paul 47:04

But that's social media for you.

Chris 47:05

Well, there you go. There's there's there's a couple of good tuts this week. And also, if you've got any uh we obviously want to hear from you guys, if you've got any tuts that get on your nerves, you're like, oh that really cried my gears, then um think then let us know. Uh follow us on the Post Pavilion uh Instagram and Facebook page, and then we'll we'll read some out of it.

Paul 47:24

I'll couple a pot of stories on there saying let us know your tuts. Good idea. Well, there we go. Thank you to everybody that listened to episode one.

Chris 47:32

Thank you so much. We are returning every fortnight, every Friday, so bi-weekly. Um and if you want us to do more, we'll try and do more. But what did you say? Bi-weekly. Bi-weekly, yeah. Is that what I call it? Is that what that is?

Paul 47:42

Yeah, that's what they call that. I think so. Oh, yeah, because you work in radio.

Chris 47:46

Anyway, Tony, uh, back to you in the studio. Uh you are Tony Blackburn. I am Tony Blackburn. If you listen to my shows, you're definitely.

Paul 47:53

I was talking, we were talking about you yesterday in the dressing room before our show. And you were slagging me off. No, I weren't slagging you off. Um we I was actually talking about the podcast, and then Craig, the boss, the guy that owns the show, uh, is just amazing. Um he went, Yeah, I can imagine Chris Maul is he's clean.

Chris 48:14

Well, on that note, I think that's a good way to finish.

Paul 48:17

As in you don't smell.

Chris 48:18

Yeah, I don't smell. I the uh I smell lovely actually.

Paul 48:21

Yeah. Um go in. Thanks. I am so sorry to everybody that I sound a bit. I can't wait to blow my nose. That's all I'm saying. We can we can edit that. So uh meet you sounds in the authentic. Yeah, exactly. I'm shutting up now, you wrap it up.

Chris 48:36

Right. Well, thanks for joining us. We'll see you again on the next episode. Bye bye for us from here at the Post Pavilion Podcast. Bye bye.