Put the Chihuahua Down and Nobody Gets Hurt

This week on the Post Pavilion Podcast, Chris and Paul catch up after a chaotic bank holiday weekend. From tour life, van travel and late-night service station stops to local Facebook group drama, bizarre Bournemouth ice blocks and a very awkward trip to the vets with a chihuahua 

Plus: theatre etiquette, annoying text abbreviations, piano players in service stations, and the return of “What Gets On Your Tuts?”

Thanks for listening and do not forget to like, subscribe and share with your mates. You can get in touch with your questions, shoutouts, TUTS of the week,  postpavilionpodcast@gmail.com or check us out on Facebook and Instagram @postpavilionpodcast for all your pod updates 

Transcript

Paul 0:28

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Chris 1:28

Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast. Two best mates and a couple of microphones and absolutely no plan. We chat about everyday life, how they became friends, things that amuse us for more than they probably should, and a fair amount of pointless guff. Listen back to the previous episodes to find out the true meaning of guff. This is the Post Pavilion Podcast. Welcome back to the Post Pavilion Podcast with me, Chris Morley.

Paul 1:54

And me, Paul Gilbert. Hello, how are we? I am very well. Good. I'm so good today.

Chris 2:03

Are you feeling good?

Paul 2:04

Well, to be fair, I've had a few weeks off. Um so I haven't been on the road, you see. So I've had a few weeks off. I've not been touring, but uh at the time of recording, I am back on tour. Um so I was on tour yesterday. See, back on the road. Back on the road, and then I was I got back late last night, and then I've had to unpack, and then I've now packed again. I I I I'm so happy that I'm so organised. I've shocked myself.

Chris 2:32

I mean, when you said, because uh text me this morning go, I'm up, I was expecting you not to be up till about 11 o'clock at the time of recording. Where this is like uh about ten o'clock.

Paul 2:41

So it's not well actually can can I let you I need to let's discuss something first of all. You text me this morning saying, Um, do you fancy recording at 10 in case you're not up? Yes. But actually, you wanted to record at 10 because you had to do something. Well, yeah. So you made you basically made it out like you were doing me a favour, but actually you were trying to do yourself a favour because you've had you've had someone come round your house because you're selling your belongings on Facebook Marketplace.

Chris 3:13

Well, they were telling they said they were gonna turn up at quarter past nine. It was ten to ten by the time they've rocked up. Yeah, granted, they did keep us posted, they were running late. I get it. But when you've got stuff to do.

Paul 3:24

So what why but why why text me as if it's me making all the decisions and like you're doing me a favour, but actually you're doing yourself a favour.

Chris 3:33

Well, yeah, in a round about- You know what I mean?

Paul 3:35

Yeah, you're right. In around about that's a that's a tuck. That's a that for me, I've opened it with a tuck. It's like I'll pick you up at 11. No, no, put me up at 10, because that's what we discussed. Well, no, the thing is, it's because I've got to do something. Oh, so so it's actually not for my benefit, it's for your benefit. So, what I should have said is uh can we do 10 o'clock because I've got somebody picking up something uh from the house about yeah, don't make it out like it's for my benefit because like I was because oh I'm in bed anyway. Um I was just thinking of you, but you weren't there, were you?

Chris 4:07

But I was also thinking about myself, if I'm honest.

Paul 4:09

Yeah, you were, yeah.

Chris 4:10

Anyway, so you had a good week, been back on the roads.

Paul 4:13

I've been back on the road, life is uh back to the chaotic lifestyle, yes. Um, but yeah, so no, we've had a really good week.

Chris 4:22

Well, I saw you at the weekend as well, because we uh joined joined you up in up in Chester, which was nice.

Paul 4:29

And we've done Right, we need to give a little bit of context now. So because you're now an animal guy uh more so than for the next few weeks, uh we have been filming some content and some TikToks and YouTube videos and stuff with the animal guys and the bosses and everything, which meant we got to spend two days together. Yes, side by side. Which gave me an idea.

Chris 4:51

What we'll hopefully, hopefully record some stuff to watch so you can watch the podcast rather than just listen. So today's a listener.

Paul 5:03

Oh, right, okay. So oh we're doing it like that, are we?

Chris 5:06

Well, I thought I thought we'd give a little bit of insight to the listeners to go, look, we're gonna trial, just trial. Yeah, not this episode, the next episode, and see see if it works.

Paul 5:17

Is this us transitioning into a visual podcast?

Chris 5:20

Might be, might be it's exciting.

Paul 5:24

That is exciting. Yeah just so you know, I just to I would like to clarify to our devoted listeners that um you are head of technical. So actually, this makes no difference for me. You can either see my face or not see my face, but if you're doing all this visual stuff, it that gives you a little bit more hard work to do.

Chris 5:44

You might have to start putting trousers on. That's all I'm saying.

Paul 5:47

I have got trousers on. You've got shorts on. Yeah, I've got shorts. I'm got I'm on tour. You can't be wearing like jeans and stuff. It looks like you've got right. It looks like you've got no trousers on. No, no, I've got shorts on. Right, listen, you're you're in a week or so's time, you are coming on tour. Uh, you're doing the land tour. So none of this cruise ship, Malarkey. No. Where you know, you get on a ship, you go to the buffet, you you know, you don't do anything, you pop and do a show, and then you're back to the buffet. You're it's you're doing the land tour.

Chris 6:18

It's tiring work. Someone's got to be on a cruise and deliver the show.

Paul 6:22

I I do not I do not begrudge the fact that you're on a cruise ship. Well, I do a little bit, but um I I don't begrudge it, but what I'm saying is that you're coming to do the buttons tour. So we're travelling every day. We're loading in, yeah. We're loading out, yeah, driving through the night, late-night coffees.

Chris 6:42

That's the bit I'm not looking forward to, is the driving through the night.

Paul 6:46

We uh actually um we were discussing this yesterday. I was discussing it with one of the other members of the Animal Guys, and we we had may have made a few bets on how long it's gonna take you to become grouchy.

Chris 7:02

Oh, because of the lack of sleep.

Paul 7:05

Lack of sleep, uh sleeping in different rooms, the lack of nutrition like food. Yeah, you ain't cooking, mate. I tell you that for free. You ain't cooking anything.

Chris 7:14

I've got to have some outfit, I'm gonna have to take some fruit with me or something.

Paul 7:17

Yeah, but you can't make fruit last two weeks, can you?

Chris 7:21

I can take a tin.

Paul 7:22

You can but yeah, generally yesterday we were discussing, it was actually while we were sound checking for the show yesterday, but we were like, oh, I wonder how long this can't. I said I think it'll be fine, it'll it'll it'll be in. Yeah. But the person um was like, I'm not sure. I reckon four days in, he's gonna be like, I just want a bit of veg. By the time you by the time you've had your 20th co-op sandwich. I can't do that. I cannot put on pie.

Chris 7:50

No, I can't live on it. I have to, I will have to eat something healthy. I have to. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to buy some salad. Some shit.

Paul 8:00

Do you know what? Actually, you can you can you you can eat healthy, there are salads, but how healthy is a salad that's been sat on a shelf for days on end.

Chris 8:10

When I went on my last tour, like a proper tour on the road, did eight weeks in the summer, about ten years ago, and I took a cool box, like proper 80s cool box, no, you didn't. I absolutely did. I put some milk in it, I put some fruit in there, I put some yogurts, I put some uh some veggie in there, I put some stuff like some ready meals so that you could just bang in the microwave.

Paul 8:33

Done. Right, just so you know, if you do bring a cool box on tour, you are just the the I don't believe bullying in the workplace is a respectable thing to do, but I can't imagine that you would come out of that lightly.

Chris 8:50

Well, when you wake up in the morning, go, can I have a cup of tea? Of course you can, Paul. Let me just go into my cool box for the milk. Thank you very much.

Paul 8:57

Oh no, we can get we we can get milk, but anyway, uh wait, you're on tour. Okay. So yeah, as you said, we're gonna do a visual podcast, but also we decided 20 minutes ago that we're actually gonna do a special episode podcast because we'll we'll we will be touring in a van. Um so we're gonna do a visual episode of just me and you in the van doing a little 20-minute update. How's it all going?

Chris 9:21

Well that so we'll well technically we'll see how good that goes. So if it sounds like an old car just driving with us very, very Right, there's ways and means.

Paul 9:33

Let's just make it work. We'll make it work, we'll make it out bit of PMA this morning. It's what the people want. It's what the people want. Anyway, so we're on episode eight of the Post Pavilion Podcast. Yes. We we seem to have updated the notes. Do you know what makes me laugh about recording this podcast? And I love doing it, but it's like we have a shared note, don't we? Yeah, we do, and we've got to nothing nothing happens on it every 12 days because like we'll record an episode, we'll leave everything on there, and then like eight hours before, suddenly we all start deleting stuff and going, no, we've discussed that. I've got to add some stuff. Um, so yeah, I woke up this morning to loads of notifications saying that you have edited.

Chris 10:16

I had well I had to I've got to write them down because otherwise I forget because otherwise we'll just start I'll just be waffling, which some say that this is what this podcast is about. Uh but I've had a good week. Thanks for asking.

Paul 10:29

Oh, sorry. All right, let's do that again then. Don't be Aggie. I'm not. He's getting Aggie already. Oh, you wait till he gets on tour, he'll be Aggie.

Chris 10:37

Um so you'll definitely you'll definitely know which one the tour episode is.

Paul 10:42

Oh, yeah, you definitely will. Oh hello, Chris on post video podcast. I have no voice left. I've been awake. Uh yeah. I'll try I'll tr I dropped a I dropped a bison earlier. Yeah, because you weren't lifting it properly. Anyway, um Chris, how has your week been?

Chris 10:58

Been a good week. We just had the bank holiday weekend. Uh so obviously I saw you at the weekend. Uh bank holiday Monday uh decided to take a pagola down in the garden. Paul frantically Googles Pagola. What is a pagola? What's a pagola? Pagola's it's like a wooden frame that sort of stands up in the garden. There's a little bench inside it, it's somewhere you can just sit and relax. But anyway, the it came with the house when we bought it. So um uh I was tasked to take it down because it was completely wrong. So what's it called? It's called a pagola. Is it it is called a pagola?

Paul 11:39

Do you do you only get them in middle class houses or no, no, you don't get them a pagola?

Chris 11:44

I've just told you it's a wooden frame.

Paul 11:46

But in give it me in like simple terms, like like it's like a it's like a sh it's like a shed without doors. There you go, cool. So you you took down a shed with no doors in it. Yeah, it's got a little roof. Why, why, why have to be it's got a little roof, great, yeah, cool. So basically you took down your smoking shower. You don't smoke, but it it's basically a glorified smoking shower.

Chris 12:07

That's pretty must have been the person that lived here before just treated it as a little smoking uh smoking.

Paul 12:13

So you took down your pagola.

Chris 12:15

Yeah, took down the pagola, uh, and that took me all day. So I actually was more tired than actually before I started the day. But uh bank what I'm trying to say is bank holidays aren't a day of rest, isn't it? Is to do jobs. That's what it's there for.

Paul 12:29

Yeah. Gentlemen, that's when people go, um, oh, we got a long weekend off. Yeah, but you you can have a long weekend off, but you can let's say, let's say people that have children, right? I've got no kids, that's alright. But if you go, oh, you've got a weekend off, you've got an extra day off, and it's like, I haven't, because you've still got the kids, there's no school, nope, like nursery's closed, it's bank holiday, so it's reduced hours, so everything is reduced hours, so it's like what is the point of a bank holiday?

Chris 13:00

You just create more work for yourself, don't you? But anyway, it's nice, it was nice, it was nice to be at home and you know, and all that. So we did go and do some stuff in the afternoon, which was nice. Um, but we also also in Bournemouth, something happened on Friday on the Friday of the bank holiday weekend. What's happened in Bournemouth? A random ice block, a block of ice on a pallet just turned up outside Bournemouth pier.

Paul 13:26

Is that anything to do with is that anything to do with Drake's um because didn't Drake have one in New York or Canada or somewhere like that?

Chris 13:34

So in Toronto, he to release his new album, he basically delivered a massive block of ice because his album was called Ice, I think. I I I don't know. I'm not a Drake fan. I don't really care.

Paul 13:48

But what I did You know what's really annoying? For two people that work in you know, conservations, reading the words of animals and you know, what a waste of water.

Chris 13:58

You sound like some of the comments that was read on the old Facebook page. Oh really?

Paul 14:02

I've not even read any of the comments. I don't really follow. Honestly, but that's a massive block of ice. So a block of ice has appeared in Bournemouth. Yes. So is Drake making an appearance in Bournemouth?

Chris 14:13

No, so what happened is is that uh as the days have progressed, the ice has started to melt. It's been quite nice over the weekend. So inside the ice is a t-shirt of Bournemouth, uh, of a Bournemouth t-shirt that's got a new sponsor. I think it's Hummel.

Paul 14:30

Oh, so the Bournemouth AFC, the football club.

Chris 14:33

Yeah, so the new sponsors jumped on board, and it's that's they're basically released, they're they basically put a post out to say that Hummel are the new sponsors. So they did that as a as a talking part.

Paul 14:43

Do you know what really annoys me about that, right? There's there's a there's a massive cost of living crisis, right? There's a war going on.

Chris 14:51

Yeah.

Paul 14:51

Petrol prices are through the roof. I I'm paid nearly two pounds a litre the other day. It's unbelievable. Right. So the but all these PR companies, and I'm not saying Bournemouth are not a massive football team, but just so you know, they ain't no Manchester City, Man United, Arsenal, Liverpool. Hey, but they've not they've not done that as well. I don't care. But where are all these people using these massive PR schemes to go? I'll tell you what I'll do. Drake released his Drake did whatever he did with an ice block, we're gonna do it as well, jump on the bandwagon. Like it was that happened, what happened with Twitter? Just announced it on Twitter. Yeah, but nobody nobody goes on there anymore, do they? Yeah, of course they do. Unless you if I ever know what's got going on in the world. So, for example, if someone goes um something's happened, I don't go on Sky News, BBC News, or any of the news app. I just go straight onto Twitter and see what's trending. But what I don't get why people PR companies want to waste thousands of pounds. Because it gets Do you know what? Don't waste the thousands of pounds. You know, don't waste it. If you wanna if you wanna mess up 50 grand, then just go and go and give it to a charity. Go and feed the homelessness, go and save an animal, don't put a stupid ice block. Where is it? Was it on the beach or something?

Chris 16:05

No, it was just out, it was uh it was planned it was literally on a pa on a couple of pallets and it's big. It gets worse. And it was just outside uh just outside Bournemouth pier. It was like it it For what? Well, it's got people talking to go, that's weird. There's a block of ice just near the pier.

Paul 16:25

Right, but just so you know, it's got us talking, but it's also got me really angry as well. You're Bournemouth. Just put a tweet out, do an Instagram or something.

Chris 16:33

Do you want to hear some of the uh responses? Yeah, go on. Uh so I went onto uh the Facebook page and some of the responses were brilliant.

Paul 16:41

So is this a Facebook page of Bournemouth AFC?

Chris 16:44

No, I got this off the Echo, the Bournemouth Daily Echo. They love a good moan, honestly. Oh less they love it, and they go. Go on then, read some comments. Oh count oh, I bet this is the council wasting taxpayers' money again.

Paul 17:00

Um, just be clear, it's not the council, it's Bournemouth. So shoot up.

Chris 17:05

But it's not the council but they what they're saying is that you know they pay their council tax, it's Bournemouth council. They thought it was them just dimming it, but it's got nothing.

Paul 17:12

But it's not Bournemouth have funded themselves, so shoot up. Go away, Derek.

Chris 17:15

Somebody put, oh, is it Mariah Carey preparing for Christmas? Lol. Bit early, but yeah. Uh David Blaine inside making a comeback. I like that one. I thought that was quite good. Uh then a lot of people say, Oh, something tells me it has something to do with Drake or Jamie Oliver.

Paul 17:32

What's Jamie Oliver got to do with a block of ice?

Chris 17:35

No idea. No idea.

Paul 17:37

So if it was a massive chicken nugget, then you might think so, because didn't he do a campaign years ago when he was trying to change school meals and everything? I think he still is. I think he still is. Oh, is he? Alright. But I just I get it that it's getting people talking and I understand all that. But this is what happens, right, in like towns and small towns and villages and stuff. They the smallest thing just blows up. Like on our local Facebook page, right, in my ned where I live. They call it my ed chit chat. Do they? Who made that stupid ridiculous? Do you know all that gets posted on there is is this your dog? It's Roman. Yeah, it might be.

Chris 18:18

Well like I just do you know what they call our local Facebook. Why then Roadworks? Do you know what we call our local Facebook? And actually, this is quite a good good question to the to the listeners. What is the name of your local Facebook page? Because I live in a place called Verwood, okay, and it's called the local Facebook page is called Verwoodians.

Paul 18:40

Right, let's see. Automatically straight away that screams middle class. That's like some Harry Potter stuff. What is that? Like what's it called again? Verwoodians. Verwoodians.

Chris 18:54

Yeah, and it all happens. The top three is number one, oh there's a there's a there's a dog that's wandered off. Number two, what times does Morrisons open on every bank holiday? Because we've got a little Morrisons. And three, people just generally having a moan about kids just causing a nuisance.

Paul 19:11

Do you know what happened on our local Facebook pages? And I hope so many of our listeners can relate to this, is because it's been a bank holiday, all the collections are all a day later. See? Right, wait, go on. Wait. Just so you know, that has never changed. It's always been a day later. So normally all my rubbish and my my recycling and everything like that gets collected every Wednesday.

Chris 19:44

But that week it's gonna be on a Thursday.

Paul 19:47

But this week, at the time of recording, it's been collected on a third. That's never changed. See, this is the So why do why do literally absolute idiots feel the need? So, but what happens is they post online, they go, um, just would like to clarify, is my because it's been a bank holiday, is my rubbish being collected a day later? Yeah, and then you'll get that one person that goes, hello John, yes it is. So if it's a Tuesday, they would collect it on Wednesday, but then you should just turn the comments off, then you've got the answer. Then it just sparks all these comments. Well, I pay my council tax, da da da. I've had to and some people have to work on a bank holiday. I get that, that's okay. I've got to work, why can't they work? It's like, oh, you go turning into another debate, and then you've got FL three doors down. Well, I've lived there for 70 years, it's always been the case, da-da-da. And then you've got, well, I moved into the village, then you get oh, it's it's it's this person's fault. It's like it's no one's fault, it's never changed. I think you get a bit irate on this, on this. No, it's just a note. Do you know what I really want to do in life sometimes is I I would love to make not delete Facebook, I would love to make a what's it called, like a fake account. I'd love to make a fake account and actually say what I want to say.

Chris 21:04

I think some people actually do say what they want to say a lot of the time.

Paul 21:08

Yeah, but people do, but I'd love to because one, I can't be dealing with the repercussions to me personally. Two, I we're in the sp we're in like the spotlight a little bit. So because we're attached to we're associated with many brands and stuff like that, we can't say sometimes what we want to say. So I can't tell somebody to go F off because it'd be oh Paul the Animal Guy used to work at Butlins, da da da da. He told F all to F off. So if I had a fake account, then I could say what I want to say.

Chris 21:44

That's right. Well, you could you could set yourself one up.

Paul 21:46

Shut up, get a life, do what everybody else does. When you forget when days your bins get collected, you go on the government website, you go on bin collection, you put your postcode in, and then it tells you when your bins are being collected. It's literally not the end of the world.

Chris 22:00

Thanks, Ethel, for listening. We hope you've helps. Well, there's your problem first first of all, you live you live where you live. Where I live, doesn't matter if it's a bank holiday, mate. Just collect it the same week, every week. Unless it's Christmas. Yeah, unless it's Christmas. And a lot of neighbours got thrown about that this week because uh pretty boring story. Monday was bin day, brown bin day. Only me was out. I'd only just remembered. It it was one of those little wins, right? I woke up going, the bin. What time is it? It was 6 30. Put the bin out. 20 minutes later, bin man arrived. I was like, get in. All the other neighbours fuming. I seen a few extra bins come out. I was like, sorry guys, you've missed your boat.

Paul 22:46

No, I I um that just screams middle class though, because you've got to keep the middle class happy, you know what I mean?

Chris 22:53

Well, anyway, but let us know what your uh your local Facebook page is called. Is it better than than our ones? Some of them just probably boring, like the pl the town they live in, but have you got a f uh like a a nickname for it? Let us know.

Paul 23:08

Yeah, cool. Um, I had a bit of a weird encounter um last week. Did you? What happened? Yeah, so not a w it wasn't a weird encounter, but it was. I um obviously had some time off, so I went and visited my family in Cornwall. Yeah. And my sister's got a little dog. Ah uh, she's called Bella. She is a chihuahua, which to me is not your typical dog. So yappy dog in it. So yappy one. It is a yappy dog. Um, but anyway, I was down visiting family, and then my the little Bella, the Chihuahua, she had a bit of a limp. She was like hobbling on her front paw. So anyway, she needs to go to the vets.

Chris 23:49

Yeah.

Paul 23:50

So I said, I'll tell you what, I'll take her to the vets. Because I was I'm not I just thought I needed something to do, so I thought I'll take her to the vets, and I took her to the vets.

Chris 24:02

Don't tell me don't tell me. She's like no longer here. No, no, she's here. Thank goodness for that.

Paul 24:08

Yeah, yeah, she's here. But I I've had dogs my entire life. I've always had labradors, and they're quite medium, medium-sized dogs, aren't they?

Chris 24:18

Yeah.

Paul 24:19

I can't tell you the funny looks. I can't tell you the funny looks that I got when I walked in with a chihuahua under my arm.

Chris 24:30

I can imagine there was some funny, funny looks like.

Paul 24:33

So anyway, you walk to the count and they go, Oh, who you got here then? I was like, oh. Just say hello, what's the name of your dog? Why do you have to talk to me like I've got a toddler in my arms? It's just a little dog. Oh, it's her name's Bella. Ah sorry, Bella. So then, fine. But then the the the what's it called? The waiting area in the vets is full. I am not even lying to you, is full of massive dogs. So Bella is gonna be yapping away. So Bella was yapping, but anyway, so I sat down and it was full of like Doberman's, there was uh massive Damasia in there. Big dogs. Um St. Bernard, remember the big one, the big fluffy one, St. Bernard. So there was loads of massive dogs in there, and then I was sat in the uh waiting room with Bella on my lap. With a pillow, and then it just looked awkward, and then Bella doesn't like other dogs, so then Bella was then barking at the other dog. So I thought, do you know what, Sodger? She kept growling, so I just put Bella on the floor. I have never seen a dog stop barking so quickly. So then I put Bella back on my lap. I was waiting to be called in so she could be examined, and then the lady next to me, I don't know what she presumed or what, but she leant over and whispered in my ear. And what yeah, what did she say? And said, That's not your dog, is it?

Chris 26:01

I don't know what gives it away.

Paul 26:03

Yeah, no, this is not my dog, it's my sister's dog. Um, and basically the funny looks I got were a bit weird. I felt a bit uncomfortable. I've never been in a vets with a small dog. I've normally gone in with a Labrador or my own Labradors.

Chris 26:18

I've been in a vets where it's just too loud, the dogs are barking, it's too much, I have to get out, I go, it's I can't, there's too much noise in here. And granted, I didn't I didn't go into a I didn't go into a vets with a dog, I went with two guinea pigs.

Paul 26:33

Yeah, it's slightly different.

Chris 26:35

Slightly different.

Paul 26:35

But because I'm a dog person, that's okay. And I'm not saying Bella's a bad dog, she's very kind and very affectionate. But for a grown man nearly 40s, in his 40s, no, I mean my forties, no, not even 40th.

Chris 26:46

You're not quite there yet.

Paul 26:47

No, I'm not quite there yet. I'm in my 40th year, but uh it just it just felt weird carrying a chihuahua under my arm, and then the lady behind the counter, the receptionist, going, Who we got here? Just say hello, what's the name of your dog? Bella. And then go, Bella. Why talk to it like it's a three-year-old toddler?

Chris 27:08

Well, I used to get funny looks or f or even on the phone, not funny looks, but uh the the the person on the end of the phone would laugh. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I had two guinea pigs, Gary and Barry, and they laughed every time. Oh yes, they laughed every time. And I'm like, what's the name of the what's the name of your pets? Like Gary and Barry.

Paul 27:26

Yeah, but were Gary and Barry two males?

Chris 27:29

Yeah, there's brothers. Well, yeah, they were. Oh, they were they were brothers. Oh right. If I called them Gary and Barry the female.

Paul 27:36

Well, no, that's what I thought. I thought it was male and a female, yeah. Gary and Barry. But yeah, no, so but yeah, that was my weird encounter at the pets. Um, yeah, I just Why do people like try and belittle you? Not belittle, but they talk down to you when you're with it was a bit that annoyed me was when she went, Who we got here then?

Chris 27:56

You're like, oh please. It's all your face, it's already embarrassing enough as it is. I bought a chihuahua in.

Paul 28:01

Literally. The whole rock waiting room just went quiet when I walked in.

Chris 28:07

Anyway, that was my experience. Little trip to the vest, but she's okay though. She's all okay.

Paul 28:12

Good. Yes, she is all okay, she's absolutely fine. I was in there six minutes.

Chris 28:18

And I bet that cost you about a grand.

Paul 28:21

It was £135 or something. Yeah.

Chris 28:26

At least turn a lot more massive.

Paul 28:28

Yeah, I know, but she got some um like antibiotics um to put in a food. Yeah.

Chris 28:35

But I was in there six minutes. I was like, that is ridiculous. I I they surely they just overcharge that cut that is ridiculous amount.

Paul 28:44

Right. We're we're we're telling it's like political. Yeah, we are, we are coming. Um apparently you've been on the you've been you've had a change in how you're doing your accounts this week, haven't you?

Chris 28:54

Oh god, yeah. So I'm trying to do this whole it's really boring, but it's this whole government thing where it's like, oh I've got to make tax digital. Anyway, right trying to transmit when you're trying basically when you're trying to transfer data, you know, like the old days of trying to edit a table on Microsoft Word, it just doesn't work, does it? You know, or edited a picture. I've had the same problem trying to get data from one place to another. Why can't it just work? I had to ring up, I had to ring up the guy uh from QuickBooks and I was on the phone for an hour, and it was me that sorted it. He was like, he was like, I don't know, it should have all gone across. I went, yes, I know that, mate. That's why ringing you. And then it was like, and then, and I just thought, why didn't I Google it? Why didn't I Google it straight away? I was halfway Googling it and talkative at the same time. I just thought, he was a lovely guy, don't get me wrong.

Paul 29:43

So just for context, you're self-employed.

Chris 29:46

Yeah.

Paul 29:46

You have to manage all your own account. Yes, that's right. Yeah, all the boring stuff. Yeah, yeah. And that's why I like being P-A-Y-E.

Chris 29:55

Yeah, it's honestly honestly. So long story, long and short of it, it took me an hour and a half to basically answer my own question for somebody on the other side of the phone that didn't really know what was going on. But he did, he was very pleasant.

Paul 30:08

And he did you know what I do? So, like that just reminds me of a time where I have this weird um I have this weird and people people take the Mickey out of me for it all the time. But I'm still I'm nearly 40, but I still I've embraced a digital life. Like I the thought of ringing up the doctors to book an appointment can't do it.

Chris 30:32

See, I don't mind it. I don't mind getting it.

Paul 30:34

No, I can't do it. I have paid for Sky TV, like I have paid astronomical amounts of money to Sky TV because I can't ring them up. I have this ultimate fear of talking to people on the phone.

Chris 30:50

Do you know what I don't like is the small talk.

Paul 30:53

You're like, I just But that's the whole reason why I can't do it.

Chris 30:57

It's because you've got to go through security and they're like, and they're and they and then you could just tell their screen's loaded, so they're like, I just need to fill this time. Like, don't fill it, mate. Let's just be quiet, ask me the questions, I'll ask my question, get a sort it.

Paul 31:10

Done. But now, our local doctors, GP, whatever, they've all gone digital, you see. So you can access it through the NHS app. But how does it So now? If I need an appointment, I just log on to the old Apparuni and I just go, yep, and then you do a brief, this is what's up with me, and then they go, cool. And then we go, yep, they send you a text and go, we'll see you at 10.

Chris 31:31

Thank you. That I'm on board with. If it's got a book and appointment, lovely, nice. But if you need to go and speak to somebody, I'm like, I don't want to speak to a robot, I don't want to speak to your AI version of Sheila or whatever her name is. I I just want to get my property.

Paul 31:46

So we we we know somebody we know somebody that is um that is going away or organising for some people to go away on some work, and they just needed some clarification over luggage and sizes and overweight luggage and everything like that. Been on the website, phoned them up, spoke to a robot, spoke to AI, then it like you get put through, and then they go. So, do you know what he did? So he just drove to Heathrow Airport. Oh, did he? Yeah, he just drove to Heathrow Airport and walked up to the counter and said, I'm organising for a group of individuals to go away. I've got some questions about the luggage because there's some overs oversized items on there, blah blah blah blah. The lady behind the counter went, yeah, no problem. They just can't be any any bigger than this and bigger than that. Um, and they can't weigh any more than this if they're going to be oversized. Da da da. And he went, Thank you so much.

Chris 32:40

So you drove all that way.

Paul 32:41

Wait away, drive home. Literally drove to Heathrow. But it's not what what a s what a sick world we live in that you can't sometimes actually talk to a human being, and not that I would ever want to talk to a human being that I don't know, but he's had to go to the effort of driving, getting up, like getting in his car, driving, fuel.

Chris 33:03

Yeah.

Paul 33:04

Then parking at Heathrow Airport, expensive, park up, then he's had to walk, go into the terminal, I think that's and then talk to somebody, get back in the car, drive. Like what what sort of world do we live in?

Chris 33:18

I did that with a to a solicitor once.

Paul 33:20

Did you?

Chris 33:21

Yeah, because they weren't answering the phone. So I just went straight to the office and it was about an hour away. And I just went, look, I'm trying to contact you. Here's the thing. I think is this what you need? Why not answering my calls?

Paul 33:33

Right.

Chris 33:33

He was not impressed. But I was like, Well, if you're not gonna answer the phone, I'll just come to you. Easy as that. Yeah.

Paul 33:38

So there's some good sides to digital, but other bad sides to digitals.

Chris 33:42

That is an episode on its own. Uh right. Well, I think it's time to do our favourite feature.

Paul 33:47

What gets on your toots? What gets on your toots? What gets on your toots? What gets on your toots? Gets on your toots. We really need to sort some jingles out. We'll do we'll I think like somebody make a jingle for what gets on your toots. Somebody can. You can't keep asking. There's like there's an AI thing out there that can do it, I'm sure. Well, we just need something for what gets on your toots. All right. So there we go. Also, look, can I quickly talk about the stats? Because we haven't spoken about the stats for a while.

Chris 34:16

Go on then. What's going on?

Paul 34:17

I'm not going to go into detail, but I'm just saying over the past um month and a half, we've had nearly 700 downloads. Hey, hey. Which is just absolutely incredible. Thank you very much. So thank you to everybody that has downloaded this and listened and streamed this podcast. But yeah, in the past um 90 days, we've had nearly 700 downloads. Three months. I just want to say 90 days.

Chris 34:41

Could have said could have said we've had over 700 downloads in the last week. That sounds better.

Paul 34:46

Because it's lying, but over the past month and a half, 700 downloads. That's cool. 90 days is three months.

Chris 34:54

30, 60, not it. Oh, yeah. It doesn't sound that great.

Paul 34:58

Yeah, that is good. It's okay. More-time podcast. It's all right. Podcast. More-time podcast podcast. I say, I'll say. Oh, yeah, month and a half is 90 days. That'd be 45 days, wouldn't it? Anyway, over the past three months we've had 700 downloads. Thanks, guys. So that's good. So anyway, don't don't take the shining away from me.

Chris 35:16

Sorry, I just I was just just clarifying. Because people listen back to me.

Paul 35:20

That's my tut. People that downgrade stuff. That's an achievement within itself. Right, let's go. Anyway, we'll get to your tut.

Chris 35:27

So this week I had one. Now, I don't know if it's a tut or not. I was I I just thought it was a bit weird. I was in a service station and there was uh piano playing, but somebody was actually playing the piano and having a good old sing song to themselves while I was out having a wee. And I just thought, that's weird, because you've been on a journey. Well you've been on a journey all we all day and you you're just there playing a piano, and I just want a bit of peace and quiet. I don't want the I don't want the go sit in your car then.

Paul 36:00

Go and sit in your car. I know, but I I just thought it was a good one. So I you to you spoke to me about this the other day, and I'm very pro it because being a piano player myself, I I love it. So at like at London train stations, there's pianos in train stations, and at service station, I ironically, uh on you we were together, you were travelling home, I was travelling home. I stopped at service station, there was a piano there. There was no one playing it, but I I think that's an amazing thing. I wouldn't mind that on condition Yeah that you can play the piano.

Chris 36:34

Yeah, well I was gonna say it was okay, he was no Elton John, but it was it was a bit like oh I don't want to listen to that, I just want to go get a coffee and get out.

Paul 36:45

I just but anyway No, that's serious that screams you being so grumpy.

Chris 36:51

Is it is it?

Paul 36:52

If someone if there's a kid, if let's say there's a small child or whatever just banging the keys on a piano and creating noise, you go, no, that's that's too far. Respect the instrument. The piano is a beautiful instrument. So if you can play it, crack on.

Chris 37:11

Would you say, would you put all instruments in a service station? No, like a drum kit, guitar.

Paul 37:18

No, see, I think a drum kit only works if you're playing within a group of people, a band.

Chris 37:24

Yeah.

Paul 37:25

Um, I can't imagine someone stood there with a tuber.

Chris 37:29

Yeah, unless you're Harold Bishop.

Paul 37:31

Oh, Harold Bishop, what a less. Yeah. He's the tuber player. Um, no, so uh yeah, I'm I'm I'm pro pianos. I think there should be more pianos. Imagine just walking around Tesco's and there's a piano by the till.

Chris 37:46

You'd be like, oh no, here mate again. He comes in every week doing his weekly shop. Don't buy it if he just wants to sit and play the piano. We get it, mate.

Paul 37:53

It's amazing. If you can if you could but if you can play a beautiful instrument, then yeah, I'm in. I'm all for that.

Chris 38:00

Alright. Well, next time we're at a challenge. When we're at the next service station, there's a there's a piano there, you've got to get on it.

Paul 38:08

I've got to film it. We'll do that. That is easy. And I actually know on one of our journeys that we're going to be doing in the next few weeks, I know a service station that's got a piano in it. So I'm in.

Chris 38:19

Well, I'm looking forward to it. And I don't care what time. And even when it's early in the morning, when it's the middle of the night, you can have a little tinkle.

Paul 38:25

I will have a little tinkle. I'm not I'm not worried about that. I'm actually sat next to my piano right now. I love my I love the piano, it's a beautiful thing, but I get how it can annoy people if people can't play the piano. But if you can play even just a little bit, I think that I'm all for it.

Chris 38:43

Okay.

Paul 38:44

If you want peace and quiet, go and sit in your car. Good point.

Chris 38:47

Uh I mean have you got any have you got a tat this week?

Paul 38:49

Yes. Um someone said to me the other day uh we were having a conversation and the flow of the conversation was going, and we were talking about something a bit whip like a bit random, and they replied to me, redick.

Chris 39:02

Is in rid in sh is short for ridiculous. Correct. Okay, so it's the shortening words.

Paul 39:07

Just say ridiculous why why are we shortening words nowadays? Redick. Amaze. Amazing. Just say amazing, redic. And then someone texted me the other day, um, da da da. We're having some conversation, whatever, and then they just put WBY. What's that mean?

Chris 39:25

Right?

Paul 39:26

W B Y What about you? What about you? Would never have known that.

Chris 39:30

What what's that about? Stop being lazy. But are we getting older? Because you think when when mobile phones came out, be like, oh yeah, uh, I hope you're having a good day. T B. What's T B mean? Text back. Did you ever use that? T B?

Paul 39:46

Yeah, I did you. Isn't that weird when you look back and you go, you used to say T B. Yeah, tech. Well, of course I'll text you back. But then there are people that don't text back. I'm that person. Like, look, I'm really bad at texting back. But I I just why are we shortening words?

Chris 40:03

Do you know what? There's a new word. Well, I wouldn't say it's a new word, it's been around for years. Uh, but instead of saying fair enough, they go fair. Like, oh yeah. They got oh I thought, oh, I thought, I thought may not have played well this week. Fair. What? Fair. What fair what's fair what's fair?

Paul 40:24

I agree or I disagree. Let's spark more of a conversation. Why are you ending the conversation by just going fair?

Chris 40:30

Because you've got nowhere to go. You haven't. It's it you shut it down. Fair.

Paul 40:35

Fair. Yeah. Do you know what my niece does? My niece, when she FaceTimes me, and I think this might be a thing with children. Again, I have no children. I I'd love to have children one day, who knows? But like my my niece, when I FaceTime, she if the conversation goes, Where are you? And I go, Oh I'm I'm in the car or I'm I'm at a a show or I'm do about to do a show. Why? Because it's it's my job, my winner. I've got to go on stage. Why?

Chris 41:08

That's just kids though. Because that's just kids.

Paul 41:11

They always say why because you know, because all these nice things that you know I treat you to. Why? Anyway, I've got to go now because I need to go on stage. Why? It generally, and you know what I've started saying, and people can disapprove if they want. I literally mean when I will smash your face in. And then she laughs, and then I go, right, I'm going. Why? And then I hang up on her. I hang up on my four-year-old niece.

Chris 41:37

But kids are kids, aren't they? That's what they always do.

Paul 41:39

Yeah. We also got a tut from uh oh, we were supposed to do this last week, uh, because we were talking about theatre, um, and I forgot to put it in the notes. So, first of all, apologies to Sammy. Um, she sent a tut in last week, uh, last episode. Um, people that go to the theatre and sing along absolutely can't stand this. You're paid to see the professionals to sing, not some random person sat in the audience that think they can sing.

Chris 42:11

I can see that. I can understand that.

Paul 42:13

Right. Does that apply to everything?

Chris 42:16

Uh uh it depends. If it's a sing-along show, then then obviously you can sing away. I think if you were to go and see a piece of like a professional piece of theatre, some ty a musical, sometimes they might do a little medley at the end, don't they? Everybody get up on your sheet seats. That is the time you can sing, but not during the show. I'm with I'm with them on that one.

Paul 42:40

Oh, right, but okay, so I um so let's say you go and watch Paddington, the musical. I've seen Paddington Musical, it was fantastic. Um, the soundtrack came out before I watched it. So I kind of knew some of the songs anyway. So if I'm singing along to Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Malay, right? You need to get out of the way. I it's not I am getting out more. I went and seen Paddington in London, it was amazing. But so I so that yeah, I can I appreciate that that would be really annoying, especially theatre tickets now are so expensive.

Chris 43:20

It's mad, isn't it? I know you've got to go and go go to your local theatre, you you know, you you've got to, but you can't be charging 200 quid or something for a ticket. I mean, come on, it's ridiculous, it's ridiculous.

Paul 43:32

Uh I I I paid about that per ticket to go watch Baddington.

Chris 43:36

And did you sing along?

Paul 43:38

No, I didn't, and actually no one did. Apart from there was a screaming kid in the that's another talk. If a show, if if you know within yourself that your child will not sit there for two and a half hours, sit, be patient, watch the show, enjoy the show. If there's an ounce of you that believes that your child will kick off, like get up and go for a wee, start crying or falling asleep, don't take your kid to the theatre. Yeah, but you wait till they're a bit older. But you'll go and see Paddington, and that's not even no, but I don't it could be Paddington, it could be six, it could be not that you would take a kid to watch Booker Mormon. No, but if you're No, I would never take a kid to watch Booker Mormon, but if you're if if there's a slight chance that your kid's gonna kick off, don't take your kid to the theatre. Yeah, but everybody around You have paid hundreds of pounds, and what happens is your kid starts kicking off.

Chris 44:35

Well, also, yeah, but if they do start kicking off, you can just take them away.

Paul 44:39

No, you can't. Because if you're sat in the middle of the stalls, in the middle of the eye, in the middle of it, you've got to get up to take your kid out. That's disturbing everybody else. I might be coming across as proper snobby right now. But you don't agree, some might be might disagree.

Chris 44:54

The day they've had, they might have had a nightmare of a day, and the last thing they want.

Paul 44:57

Well, then don't take your kid, rearrange the ticket again. But like there's so much like people save up hundreds of pounds to go to the theatre. If it's if it's a smaller show or stuff like that, I get it, da da da. But if you're going to watch a spectacle of a a les miserable, you know, and all that, then then then don't take your kid.

Chris 45:19

Granted, but my five-year-old won't want to see flay biz, but the right, but what but right, okay.

Paul 45:24

But if but I think your son, knowing your son, I think your son would sit there for the entire duration, sit, embrace it, and enjoy it. Yeah.

Chris 45:35

Well, you'd never well, yeah, but you could be having a funny minute five minutes.

Paul 45:39

No, he wouldn't. But it's just certain people don't take your kid to the theatre if you know they're gonna kick off.

Chris 45:45

That's the strap line.

Paul 45:48

Love theatre. Is that what you're gonna c is that what you're gonna call the episode now? You've got it. This week's episode, don't take your kid to the theatre if you know they're gonna kick off.

Chris 45:58

I think that is a great episode title. Anyway. Have we got any more?

Paul 46:04

No, uh no, that's it. No, that's it for the tuts this week. We'll save whatever we've got left for our next episode.

Chris 46:11

Uh if you if you'd like to say uh if you have got any tuts, if you've got anything that's really gets on your nerves or uh or or your local Facebook page, what the name of that is, then uh let us know. Go on to our socials at the Post Pavilion Podcast on Facebook and Insta.

Paul 46:24

Nice. But before we end the episode, I think we should introduce a new feature into um our episode. Have we got a few years? Every week we're gonna Yeah, we've got time. It's a really quick one. We're gonna have a star listener. I spoke about this ages ago, and I think we should do it. So this week's star listener of the post-pavilion podcast is Paul Flinders. Oh, because he told me the other day that we need to get more episodes out there because he's now listened to every single episode of the Post Pavilion Podcast from 2022 when we first started.

Chris 47:03

He's listened for the start.

Paul 47:04

What a guy. He's gone right back to the start, and he said to me the other day, Um, you and Chris, mate, need to worry up because I'm up to date now.

Chris 47:13

I mean, to be fair, I probably would have deleted some of those early stuff because they were ropey. Yep. Rope as.

Paul 47:20

So this week's star listener of the Post Ravilion podcast is Paul Flinders.

Chris 47:25

Okay, congratulations. Well done.

Paul 47:28

Clap Flinders. There you go. Well done. Well done, Paul.

Chris 47:31

Oh, there you go.

Paul 47:32

Anyway, I've got to go. Gotta go. I've got to go back on the road.

Chris 47:35

Well, we well, uh, we'll be back on the next episode where I'll be on tour with you. So uh we'll have lots to talk about, no doubt. So we'll see you in a few weeks.

Paul 47:44

And we'll find out if Chris will get crouchy.

Chris 47:48

See you next time.

Paul 47:49

Bye.