Can I Go To Bed Yet?

Recorded late at night on the final stop of their tour, Chris and Paul catch up on life on the road, bizarre travel stories, expensive boxer shorts, named alarms, Gloucester Services, and the mystery of fake drawers in holiday accommodation. 

Plus, a special guest joins "What Gets On Your Tuts?" 

Thanks for listening and do not forget to like, subscribe and share with your mates. You can get in touch with your questions, shoutouts, TUTS of the week,  postpavilionpodcast@gmail.com or check us out on Facebook and Instagram @postpavilionpodcast for all your pod updates 

Transcript

Chris And Paul 0:01

Today's episode is sponsored by Toastmaster 2000, the Toastmaster that delivers perfectly crisp golden brown toast every time. With adjustable browning settings, extra wide slots, and a sleek modern design, breakfast has never been easier. Toast smarter, toast tastier, Toastmaster 2000. Welcome to the Post Favilion Podcast. Two mates, a couple of microphones, and absolutely no plan. We chat everyday life, how we became friends, and things that amuse us far more than anything probably should. And tell you what, there's a lot of pointless guff on the way. Listen back to previous episodes to find out what the true meaning of guff is. Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast. Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast with me, Chris Morley. And me, Paul Gilbert. Well, welcome to a very special episode of the pod. Not gonna lie, mate. Are we really doing this now? Well, uh time of record is uh we're on the last night of our tour. We've been on the road for the last couple of weeks. Right. Time is 10 past eleven. Right. And I said to you 15 minutes ago, I wanted to go to bed. Yes. And you said Well, let's recall a pod. Let's do it. We've got a new episode coming out. It's like gone backwards, isn't it? It's like when we normally record this, I just get out of bed. We'll we're going into bed now. Now I want to get into bed. You're making me do this. And we're together. We're together again. I can see your face. So which is really nice. Thank you very much. Uh it's been a very busy uh couple of weeks actually. It has you have been on tour doing the buttons tour with the animal guys. It's been great fun, hasn't it? Do you know what? You've done a good job as well, mate. Thank you. I'll give you I'll give you that. That's a nice review. It's the funny, it's uh it's weird how we haven't been on stage together properly for a few years. And now we at this moment we are 26 shows in of 28. That is unbelievable, isn't it? I can't believe we've done that many shows. Yeah, so and we've been up and down the country. We have, we've spent many a uh an evening together on the road. You've been a passenger princess. I have. Well, I did offer to drive. You can't we have this discussion, you can't drive it. I couldn't drive the van. So I've been in the van driving the van, you've been a passenger princess. How was my passenger uh well on a ratio of what you stayed awake for for what you were asleep for? 90% awake, 10% asleep. That's not bad. It's not bad. Considering I haven't done a tour for probably the best part of six six years, I was. Oh, that's when you did um Count Ducula, wasn't it? I did a show called Count Ducular, yeah, many years ago. Was that a Pontins? Yes, it was actually. I I don't even know if they're still going anymore. Well Pontins, yeah. But we doubt it. I went up and down the country to all the Pontins resorts, which was nice. So you have been on tour with us, it's been amazing. We've had a lot of laughs. We've had a lot we have had a lot of laughs, and you've done things that I thought was a bit weird. Like what? Well, in our first few days, we were in Butlins Bogner Regis, and John, who's a stage manager, yes, we were about to go on stage, and you stopped us from going on stage because you we were all about to walk out the dressing room to go and do the show, yeah, and you went, John, have you got a towel, please? Yeah, but that's that's a bit of divish, wasn't it? No, not really, because Is it? You know, in every show I've ever done, I've always had to ask for a towel. Do you know the reason why? Because I sweat so much. Profusely. I'd sweat so much. You do sweat, but it was a bit of a diva mood. What did I say to you straight after it? I can't remember. Well, I just called you a diva. Is it a diverish mood though to start to do it? I've just for a towel. Yeah. Well, you're not Taylor Swift, you're not doing like four hours at the O2 Arena. Yeah, but I was doing Cardiff. Yeah, but I was doing a good solid hour and I was sweaty. 55. So And you asked for a towel. I've thought it's a bit weird. I've never thought that's been weird ever because in every show I've ever done, yeah, and people I've worked with always asked for a towel. Is the the you are the opponent that just not a towel? No one in the current team on the buttons tour, I don't think, has ever asked for a towel. Well, there you go. But obviously they'll sweat as much as I do. That confused me a bit. That threw me. It threw you. I didn't realise you were that guy. That asked for a towel. I suppose you asked for a bottle of water as well, didn't you? I did actually. Of course you did. Yeah. I know. So it's just a little things. But it's been great fun, hasn't it? We've had a lot of fun. Um, great shows, great audiences, uh, and uh and I've enjoyed being up at 3am. Well, we did have a shocker one night, didn't we? We did. Very long journey. Uh we ended up driving to Skegness and we got we left we left your house at nine o'clock and then in the evening, yeah, and then we ended up in uh we got there at 25 past five in the morning. Very bad. Because we got stuck in road closure. We couldn't move. You took you took a picture of me weing. I did. Well, yeah, we we had to go somewhere, and it was uh actually I might put that on our socials this week. Why not? You'll do no sort of thing. I'm in charge of socials. Oh, yeah, good point. Yeah, I've got the picture, I might post it. But yeah, we had the longest journey in the world. We left at nine, we got there just after five o'clock after being in the van. It was it was it was your first long night journey with the animal guys. It was and it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun, and I've really enjoyed doing it. So uh thank you for uh don't thank me. Thank the boss. Well, I better thank him first, actually. Well, actually, I'll just get him to listen to this and I'll see. Thank you. You got quite do right. I'll tell you what, do a 15-minute thank you. 15 minutes. 15 minutes off. Do a 15-second thank you speech. You can crop it and send it to him. Yeah, I would just like to say his name's Craig. Yeah, hello Craig. Just like to say thank you for the opportunity. I've had a lovely time working with some amazing, very, very talented people and Paul as well. So uh so uh yeah, and uh and hopefully you'll get to do a few more, that'll be nice. Oh, well done. That was nice. Crop that up and send it to me. I will do. I will do it. There we are. And what's annoyed you about like because you've been staying in like accommodations and hotels and stuff like that? What's annoyed you in the old accommodation? I don't think anything's annoyed me. Don't be PC now. No have to sit on any fences. No, I didn't. We did have a rant one night. We got into an accommodation at one of what at where we were staying, and you went, you you lost your tiny mind. What did that happen? Fake drawers on the kitchen cupboards. You got well aggie about it. Oh yeah. No, that's no, I think that's just accommodation in general. That isn't about the accommodation I was staying in. That is just when you go to the house. Well, what annoys you about fake drawers? Basically, you think there's cutlery in the drawers, and it's not even a drawer, it's just a just a handle. Can I ask you a question? Go on. In your big house? Yeah. Have you got any fake drawers? I haven't, it really is me. Yeah, I have. Actually, I actually have got few draws. Have you actually got fake drawers? One. I haven't got a single fake drawer in my house. I've got a fake drawer you cannot open. It's just there for show. Why? I don't know. I didn't put it in. In my kit have I got fake drawers in my kitchen? You might have one. There's always one in the kitchen. Hang on. I'm just I'm just going round my kitchen visually. Yeah. Uh no, no, no, no. Oh, this is great. This is great content for. No, but I'm trying to see if I've got a fake drawer. I haven't got a fake drawer in my kitchen. Next time you get to go to your house, go into your kitchen and just check all the drawers. I've just checked them in my head. I've got I've got what looks like drawers. Yes. But you open it up as a cupboard. Um is that the same thing? No, that's no, that's a cupboard. Is it a good thing? It's actually clarifying. That's a cupboard. Uh so yeah, that just threw me a few time because as few of the combinations have got fake cupboards in, so and they've got more than one in some of these uh combinations. Have you checked the one we're in now? Yes, uh, it currently has two fake cupboards. Oh, what do you think? Yeah. I love how that's the first thing you do. Normal people go in and go clean sheets, towels. You go, right, before I pick my bedroom, I need to check if there's fake drawers. No, you're making me out. Like I go around checking the drawers. I don't. You're very Aggie because you've been on tour, innit? I'm I'm the one that wants to go to bed, but no you. Let's record a podcast. Which I'm happy to do, by the way. Thank you. Welcome and welcome to the Post Civilion Podcast. You also took me on, we were en route from it was that night. It was a night we did left at nine and we got there at 5.25. You made me stop at Gloucester Services. Yes, we had a lovely time at Gloucester Services, because we've spoken about this on the podcast previous episodes. Basically, if you've not listened to previous episodes, I can't stand Gloucester Services. Now it's overpriced, it's full of old people carrying trays, and I just don't like it. I it gives me a sense that I don't belong. Well, now I went and took you for a little day out to Gloucester Services. Yeah. And I went in, bought you some uh bought you some lovely uh sausage rolls. No, you didn't buy me sausage rolls, you bought yourself a sausage roll. I did buy myself a sausage roll, and I and I said, Well, would you like to try some? And I did try some, and I asked you what was in it, and you said sausage. Yeah. Yes. And I was like, right, cool. And then afterwards you told me it was boar. It was wild boar. What is wild boar? Well, it's a it's a wild, what it's a wild boar, isn't it? Well, it's a type of pig. It's a type of pig, yeah. Oh right, that's weird. So and you said it was very nice. And they had a variety of Yeah, but that was psychological. Until you told me that it was wild boar, or whether it is, I liked it. Then you told me it was wild boar, and now I don't like it. Well, yeah, but I haven't bought you another one. So I know, because I'm not stopping there. Well, next time I'm passing through, you pick your. We did a video on it, so if you haven't been on our socials, I put together a nice little video about our experiences in Gloucester Services. And I had a very nice time. It was nice to be back. Yeah, bought a pie. And I would have bought a joutney and some various cheeses, but I had nothing to put it in, put it in. I had nothing cool to use. Oh, right, because you didn't bring a cool box on tour. You were gonna bring a cool top cool box on tour, weren't you? Yes, I was. I said no, didn't I? You did? And I wish I'd taken it with me. I wish I stopped my guns. Oh anyway, you had a pie? That's another uh that's another story. Yeah, yeah, uh also on the tour, yeah, I got Paul on a uh very old joke. You did get me on a proper good joke. Are we reenacting the joke? Well, I don't know, I don't know if well, we can. Right, so we were talking financials, like interest rates, right? The really boring comment. But people think driving around in a tour van and you are on the road all the time, you're with your mates, people think you constantly just have a laugh. You do? Well you do, you do, you do, you do, but you think it's like all rock and roll and everything like that. But it actually we talk about really important things, we do, and some things are not that important, but on this particular occasion we were talking about finances and we're talking about interest rates, interest rates, mortgages, all the adult stuff, council tax, yeah, TV license, that could be. And I said, and I said, Oh, uh, I went out, uh, I was in Gloucester Services and I bought a pie cost. And I said, What's the pie cost? I said, about £1.80. And he got me, it tickled me for ages. For about an hour afterwards. I've heard that joke about 20 years ago. I'd never heard that joke before, ever in my life. So thank you for getting me on a rubbish. And I got the rest of the team on that as well. You didn't get all the team though, did you? Not all of them. Uh, because again, they thought it was absolutely ridiculous what I was saying. Now, next we've got to talk about uh alarms. Firstly, how many alarms have you got? Honestly, I don't actually know. Have a look. I'm having a look now on my alarms. See, I I have one, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I've got eight. Oh, I've got about twenty-eight. What? Look at your phone! Yeah. So basically That's disgusting. I have so many alarms because obviously we were getting up at various times of the day, uh, some early in the morning, some later in the afternoon. But also there was a night you went to bed at 5 45 a.m. and you got up at 11. And no, I it was about 11 o'clock. Yeah. I could put 11 o'clock, 11.15, 11.30. So basically what you're saying is how like how many alarms do you need to set? How many alarms do you have to set? And do you name your alarms? No. Because I do. Do you? Do you want to hear some of them? Yeah, go on. Now, I've just gone down my list. I put 1145. This has got nothing to do with us being away. This is just alarms that is in my phone. Right. That I've got names for. Go on. So 1145. Yeah. Rub butter in Turkey. So that must have been Christmas Day. Rub butter in Turkey. Yeah. Do you cook Christmas dinner? Yeah, I do, yeah. Oh, don't do that. Uh uh 20 to 20 to 4, the Grand Prix. Any particular Grand Prix? I don't know which one it is, but obviously it was in the poor water. Quarter to six in the evening. Yeah. Says go, go, go. What does that mean? That's when the race starts. So the Grand Prix coverage starts at 22. Right. And the race starts at quarter to six. Right. What you got? What else you got there? Um get up. You're not gonna, you're not gonna. Are you gonna read that 1930 one? Uh 7.30, get up, you lazy sod. It doesn't say sod, it says the B word, but we can't say it on this podcast. No, we can't. No. Because I have to put a little A little ticker box. You're obsessed with it. Tickerbox. Uh so I had to get up at 7.30 in the evening for something at one point. Why? No idea. Oh, do you know what that might have been? That might have been when you're away, DJing. You know when you've buttoned. Maybe button is big weekend. You go for a little snap. Maybe. A little snack. Here's one. Yeah. Quarter past five in the morning, get up as you're on breakfast. Yeah. Get up as you're on breakfast. Yeah. Oh, is that when you do your radio stuff? Yeah. And then 5 45, seriously get up. And 6 25, you should be in the car at the very latest. You go to a lot of effort to set your alarms. 6 30am, you're pushing it now. That's what is it only me that has that? I don't know, but I'm going to put like a poll-up on the socials when this goes out. And that's ridiculous, by the way. What you need to do is name your alarms. And I think I'm not the only one. I reckon there's more people out there that actually do name their alarms. Look, this is the extent of my alarms. 6.05am, 610, 6.15, 7.08. Oh that. Oh, wait, hang on a minute. What? You've got a 708 alarm and a 717 and a 722. Yeah. That does not work. Right. Do you know why? Why? Right, because these alarms have if I've set them at home. Right. Because I'll get Alexa to open to set an alarm for 7. Yeah. And then she'll do 10 past. She'll do quarter past. She'll do 20 past. Well, and you're doing the you're and then my phone does 708, 717, 722. But how many alarms do you actually need? Right, well, I'm a proper deep sleeper. So I have to have at least six alarms to wake me up. Six alarms? Yeah, to wake me up in the morning. That is ridiculous. Yeah, but understand, right? You you you get it now because you're you're on tour, you've been on tour with us. It's a proper tough schedule. It is a tough schedule. So some nights you can go to bed at 11, some nights you can go to bed at five in the morning, some nights you're bed at 8 o'clock at night. It just fair, I have no sleeping pattern. Like the whole point of this. I wanted to go to bed 15 minutes ago, and you went no recording. So the one night I could have actually gone to bed before 12 o'clock. Well, what time are we going to set your alarm for? Tomorrow. Yeah. Well, we're loading, well, at the time of recording, we're loading in the show at 7 30am. So you'll set your alarm at 6 42? No. 6 52. First one will be 6 20, 6 20, 6 25, 6 30. Well, hang on a minute. But you've got you've got weird numbers on the other end. Yeah, yeah, but but I've got no I haven't got Alexa with me, have I? So you've got no smart speaker. So you round it up. On my phone. Right. Yeah, if I'm not with it, then if I'm not with my mate Alexa, then I I I have to do it normally. Is that weird? Uh the I thought you just did alarms which were just ended in like even an odd numbers. It didn't end in a five or a zero. No, I do them a couple of minutes after the the other smart speaker alarm goes off because it's like noise, noise, noise, noise, noise. Seriously, I've got to get up. Right. Okay. There you go. I don't pick my phone up and go, I wonder which alarm this is. Rub turkey, rub butter into the turkey. Yeah, but what's that about? But what's happened is I've obviously they're old alarms and I've not deleted them. Do you set an alarm for like right, I've set an alarm for two minutes, just to remind me, but when I go to the toilet, I need to flush the change. No, don't do that. That's why I'm not sure. Don't do that. No, that is. It's just a normal thing to hear an alarm and then just cry. Why I I don't understand why you have to name your alarms. Because that's just what if you've got more than one alarm, you can't remember what the alarm's for. So it could be like put the peas in in five minutes. You know, carrots need to be in the middle. Yeah, but then you can just ask your smart speaker to remind you in X amount of minutes to put the peas in. And then your smart speaker will go, put it in. Yeah, I do that, but I can't remember what I've asked her. So at least it wasn't. It tells you. Does it you I can't believe you name your arms. Right, we're gonna put a poll on. This has gone on for four minutes. It is called for two minutes, too long, to be honest. Yeah. Um what else we've got to talk about? What else has been happening this week? Ah, yes. Uh buying boxer shorts. What about them? I've never I spend a lot of money on boxer shorts. You do. And you don't like the fact that I spend a lot of money on boxer shorts. It's a very, very expensive hobby you've got buying boxer shorts. Right, so I wear Kelvin Klein's. It's very, very posh boxer shorts. And you wear Asda. So standard, what's the standard cost of your underpants? I don't know. We actually go to one. When was the last time you bought underpants? Right, this says a lot, right? Probably about, I don't know, three months ago. Right? And one pair was what? I'll get three packs for fifty three pairs for 15 quid. Well, I'm a bit shocked here. Well, how much do you pay for yours? Uh well, a pack of three is like 40 quid. How much? 40 quid, yeah, for 40 quid. Nah, nah, I'll get four I I can't do the maths, but I can get a lot more than that. Yeah, well you can, you but it's the quality. You wear as the FF. Is it FNF acceso isn't it? I have no idea. Right, but you seem to have a big problem that I spend £40 on three pairs of boxes. It's a lot in it. But this is where the trick of the trade is. Yeah. You go to an outlet store. Yeah. Right, you know, like a Clark's Village. Yeah. Or a Calvin Klein shop. Yeah, outlet, yeah. Right. And you get them cheaper. But sometimes they do offers, right? So my mate Lee, yeah, we go together and we buy the same pants. You buy each other's pants. Well, technically, yeah, we do. Because what we do is sometimes they do an offer that you can buy two pairs, like two boxes of pants for £32 each. So you get eight pounds off. Oh, okay. So I mean, so you're saving money, you see. The more pants you buy, the more money you're gonna save. And ironically, when if I'm going to an outlet store and Lee isn't going to an outlet store, we ring each other and go, Do you need pants? And I'm like, yeah, I do actually. So you're like a you're like a like a married couple on the road. Well, yeah, a little bit, yeah. Buying each other's pants. Yeah, but is that a weird thing to do? I don't think so. I think you're uh you are money saving. Do you remember them silk pants you used to wear when we were red coats together all them years ago? I did have a page. You had a silk pair of pants. Do you know what? They were the best pants I've ever had in my life. If you ever silk. Yeah. Have you ever worn silk pants? No! Give it a try. That's so good about wearing silk pants. They're just they're just nice and silky. So would you say £40 for three pairs of boxes is extreme? Personally, I wouldn't bother paying for paying that. Yeah, but it's all about the cuppage. It's all about the support. Well, that's probably worth every penny then, isn't it? Yeah. Perhaps I'll start investing in Calvin Kleins. Do you know what? For your Oh, your birthday's been, on it. Yeah. For Christmas. What size would you say you are? Medium? Oh, yeah, no, much bigger than that. Oh, okay. I'm gonna we'll get I'm gonna sort it out. I'm gonna get you a pair of medium Calvin Kleins. Yeah. And you you'll feel so supportive. Oh well, I can't wait. Where in life you don't feel supported by Calvin Kleins? Find out that's a tagline. Find out in nine months' time how I get on with my supportive. Well, that'll be a Christmas episode. I'll buy him for Christmas. Or we just do it just for Christmas. Thanks, Paul. Right. Can we do our favourite segment of our show? Of course we can. Which is what gets on your toots. Yeah, and you're gonna put the theme tune in now. Post pavilion podcast. What gets on your toots? What gets on your toots? Tell us what gets on your toots, what gets on your toots, what gets on your toots, what gets on your toots, what gets on your toots. I still like the theme tune. I love the theme tune. Still like the theme tune. So good. Still still so good. I prefer the old one still. Like the one that said what gets on your cuts. Yeah. I preferred that one, but it messed it up anyway. But we're good. So for those that just listened to this episode, on the last episode, we actually made a theme tune of what gets on your tutz, and we asked AI to have a go at it, and it said, What gets on your guts? It messed it up. Anyway, what is on our topic? You had a mare, this is what got on your toots. Yes. What happened to me this week? Uh yeah, so basically, uh I got catch up on my shorts from Mackey's. You were driving, were you? I was driving, yeah. So I was driving. Absolutely fuming. So I was uh so I wasn't driving. I was in the I was in the van, wasn't I? Oh, I don't know. No, you weren't, you were in your car. Oh, that was it. Oh, the pennies dropped. Delete that bit before. It's all kicked off here. Don't worry about it. Yes, so I'll tell you what happened. Chris was in his car. Yeah. We we just had a conversation about Mackeys, because you're not a big fan of Mackeys. Not really, but I was starving. You were driving back from Runcor in Liverpool to just on a theatre, and you said to me, I might have to stop and get a Mackez. I don't want a Mackeys, but I'm getting one. But then you called me afterwards and said, You've got ketchup all over your shorts. Ah, now this was the problem, right? So I didn't realise I had ketchup on my shorts. Because you're trying to do that thing when you're driving and eating, and it was get it was dark at this time. So and I thought to myself, I've definitely spilt some ketchup on me, but didn't think anything of it. Yeah. Got home, uh, went to bed, and then I had to do the school run the next morning. So I just basically put on the shorts that I was wearing from the day before. Anyway, just about to do the school run, and I'd got ketchup all over my backside. It was like my bum had been bleeding. Do you know what was amazing about that whole situation? What? You managed to get ketchup all over your shorts. Yeah. Like literally everywhere on your shorts. But not on your seat. Uh no, I did. Oh, you did? I did. Oh, did you find it afterwards then? I found it. There was a little patch on the in the car seat, and do you know what made it even worse? I put some uh carpet cleaner on the side. Upholstery cleaner. It was yeah. It was it not? Well, it was, but it's made it look worse, and now it looks like I've completely stained the whole seat. What does it look like? Well, it's like it looks like I've wet myself. And it's still there. Two weeks later, the stain has got bigger. Yeah. And I look like I've wet myself in the seat. So that's not good, is it? It's not good. But yeah. So what so what's your thoughts? What would you do differently? Well, don't put too much tomato sauce in the burger. So would you in future, not that you're a big fan of Macus, to be fair, we were discussing what to have for tea tonight. And you said no to a Macus. No, I can't eat it. And then so that was that. But in future, why don't you, when you select, is a touring tip for you. When you select, take the ketchup off when you mess about the ingredients. Yeah. Just take the ketchup off. Then you get a little pot of ketchup, and then you can just put a little bit of ketchup on it yourself. I did not even know you could do that. That's a tall tip. There you go. Tall tip there, tall the tall tip tip finders. Is that right? You don't have to tick a box. What did you say then? The tall tip finders. There we go. That's right. We have had a message in for another one. Uh, this is from Barry. Barry? Barry. Uh Barry's got in touch. Uh, he sent me a message on Instagram. He said, when people are waiting for their orders in a fast food place, yeah, they know what their order number is, they've got their little receipt, and then the woman shouts it out, and they just stand there and not move. I agree. I agree. It's so annoying, isn't it? I can relate to that. That it's just like the worst game of bingo ever, isn't it? Yeah, but again, if you're getting sidetracked and by what? It's not rocket science just to stand there and go, let's say you're number 70. Yeah. You know, like subconsciously, you know you're the number 70. So that is already implanted in your brain. Let me finish. Already implanted in your brain. So that's there, you're waiting to hear the number 70. Then the lovely lady behind the counter or man or whatever goes, number 70, and then you're just staring into the abyss. It's like, what are you doing? What happens if you're thinking about something else? All the kids are playing up, or you've or you've met somebody that you know. I think Barry means in this scenario that he was in a fast food chain, he was there on his own, and there was somebody next to him who even Barry knew his number, but he didn't know he knew his number, but didn't know his number. Because all that does is delay your food, doesn't it? Well, that's good that's a good point. You know what I mean? That is a good point. So, like, do you understand what you're saying? I completely get it. I think that's a very good talk of the week. And have you got any for this week? Um I yeah, people that ask for towels and bottle of water before shows. Oh yeah. Do you know what does annoy me at the minute? What's that? Do you know what does annoy me? Towels. Towers? Do you know we've been staying in some accommodations and hotels and stuff like that. Yeah. And it life would be so much easier if you could tour your own towel. Actually, I did. Oh my god, this gets worse. I did actually tour. Well, I'd say I tour it. I left my suitcase at yours. You did leave your suitcase at my house. Which had my towel in it. So I sort of put it in the house. So were you going to tour a towel? I was going to, yeah. Right, this is my problem with touring towels. Let's say you've arrived at a hotel. Yeah. You have had a shower at 2 a.m. Yeah. But you're leaving that hotel at 7am. Yeah. That's 3, 4, 5, 6. That's five hours. Yeah. What are you doing with your towel? Put it on the radiator. But no. No, you're not putting it on the radiator, are you? Hang it on the door. Right, so it's 38 degrees. It's been a heat wave. You're not. That towel is not properly dried. And then what do you do? You put it in a carry bag and you put it in your suitcase. Put it on the balcony. Next to your clean clothes. Well. And then you wake up and then you put your clothes on. You go, why my t-shirt smell damp? It's because you've done this damp tea towel in there. Do you know what I've done before? What? I don't know if this is weird. I've actually put a towel uh hanging out the back of my window in my car. So I wind the window up and then the towel is getting dried along the motorway. Now there is a risk. You know that is a massive like. I'm sure that's illegal. Is it? Yeah, I think it's gotta be. It's probably, isn't it? I've only done it once though, and it was lovely and dry. Yeah, but my my my my point is that when you I love a big towel. Yeah. I'm not I'm not I'm not small, but I'm not not massive either. Do you know what I mean? I'm a big lad. I eat well. Big boned. Big boned. But what I'm saying is when you get to a hotel or a place and you get in the room and all you want is a shower, and then all you've got is a shower mat to dry yourself with. That's not fun. It's not even gonna go around my leg. Not with your legs. Well, I know, but this that's what just really annoys me. So then I go, is there a way of touring a towel? No, there isn't. Well, hotels just put proper uh proper proper proper shower towels in. Yeah. I didn't realise there's niff different names for towels. Is there? Well you have a a bath sheet. Yeah. And then you've got a floor towel. A floor towel and then a hand towel. They're like Why don't you just put them all together and you've got one giant towel? Well I didn't. Have you ever been into a hotel room when you've just like there's no towels, you have to use the bed sheets? I've done that once. Yeah, so you've experienced that. That's not pleasant, is it? That's annoying. That upsets me. Yeah. But people that put towels in their luggage, they need to go jump off a cliff. Now this. Can I go to bed yet? Not yet, because before we go, we have uh well, we always ask people to send in their tuts, don't we? We do, yes. Now we have got somebody that's with us. Oh, we do. We can do uh I'd say a live tut with us. Who's gonna be able to do it? Well, okay, so now you've really got to set the scene. So we are in we've arrived at one of the buttons resorts. Yeah, we've one of the balls. We're sharing with a guy called Lee. He's one of the uh he's one of the animal guys, he's one of the animal guys. I've spoken about him before on the podcast because he shares food with his missus. That winds me up. Yeah, does my nutty we've talked about that in a previous episode, so yeah. But he's here. So what are you doing? So what I thought we could do is get Lee in. So I tell you what, I'll move, get Lee in. Yeah, good. And then we'll see how it goes. Welcome, Lee, to the Post Pavilion Podcast. Thank you very much. This is an absolute privilege, by the way. Lee, I think you actually might be the first well, I think you definitely are the first ever person to be on the podcast in a recording. Yes. We did have uh a special guest that we did a whole episode on, but you have you are the uh the first person to join us on the pod. So welcome. Oh, that feels amazing. Thanks, guys. Hey, listen, right, welcome uh to the pod. We need to get your tuts. What gets on your tut? What annoys you? What's the things that make you just go, oh that's so annoying? Have you got any good example? Do you know what one thing that really annoys me is when you see like a Ford Fiesta go past you with a massive exhaust, spoiler on the back, yeah, really loud, and you just go, why? Proper old school that's a manga, but souped up. I'm and it do you know what? I passed somebody the other day uh at the traffic lights, yeah, and they started revving their engine, like they were Charlie Big Spuds, and I was like, sorry mate, you've got a rubbish car. What car was it? Was it? It was uh I think it was like a Peugeot, right? That's what I mean. Right a Peugeot 2. So it's a Ferrari or a Porsche, I get it. You spent the money, but a £1,000 four Fiesta with a massive exhaust, spoiler on the back, grills on the front, massive alloys. Not for that. Funny enough, I was gonna do that to my car, and now you've said that. You have got a four Fiesta. I have got a full Fiesta, I have got a four Fiesta. Uh so uh and it's so it's more when they're reviving the engine and going down the streets. If you're gonna like super up, you might as well have a Ferrari or a horse. Yeah, do you know what I mean? But I think I remember when I was a kid that used to be massive, that used to be a thing. People used to put subwoofers in their boot. Yeah, like Pimp My Rad, remember Pimp Maradon? That's right, yeah, like that. I don't mind that. I used to love like Subarus and stuff like that, but Subarus are made for that reason. Yeah, good point. If you're getting a fiesta and putting a massive exhaust on it, you just got if you if you're gonna do it properly, like say, buy a Ferrari. That's exactly it. That's a good tuck. Lamborghini, Porsche. But I guess it's it's uh it's a Ferrari or a Porsche on a budget. Yeah. But it's not but it's not big and it's not clever. No. You just sound ridiculous. Yeah. Well, there you go. Thanks for that, Lee. No problem. So that's a good tuck. Paul. I'm all the way over in. He's all the way over, he's all the way over on the other sofa. I'm coming back in. Look, see, I wouldn't cut this bit out. It would just Paul just completely we've all we've always said that we are what's the word I always say about a podcast? We're authentic. Authentic, yes. I was having a lovely time then. It was it. Do you know what was nice? Like, I was gonna say to Lee, finish the podcast so I can go to bed. Yeah, do you know what? Can I go to bed now? I think it's probably a good time to go, but before we go, I am absolutely sweating in this accommodation. It's boiling. I genuinely think the heating's on. The heating is not on. It's not on. Do you know what it is? We're in the middle of a heat wave. Oh, we're coming to the end of the heat wave now. We are. You've struggled with heat. Well, I do like the heat. I've I've got a lovely tan. I've tanned very well. Why show me your arms? It's not a visual podcast. They can't see it, can they? Should we tell about the time we were in the van and it was like 38 degrees? Yeah. We took our tops off, didn't we? We did. Uh if you were on the M42 uh Wednesday uh whatever day it was half term, then uh and you saw a big van with the animal guards on it, and there were two half-naked people in the cab. Yeah. That was me and you, wasn't it? It was just it was too hot. It was just too hot. Uh but anyway. You might get in trouble for saying that. Might do, might cut that bit out. Sorry, boss. Don't cut it out. On that note, uh, I think it's time for us to uh to f to wrap up. But uh if you've got any cuts that you want to get in touch with, then please get us on the usual ways of uh getting onto our socials at Post Pavilion Podcast. Yeah, if you want to send us an email. Apparently you can do voice notes now. You can. This is a new feature that's on I think Spotify and even Apple Podcasts that you can just send in a voice note. So uh why not send a voice note in and we'll play it on the next episode. We'll play it on the next episode. I'm gonna ask you one more time. Yes. Can I go to bed? It's time to go to bed. I'm go to bed, you wrap it up. Thanks for joining us on the pod. We'll see you uh in a few weeks. But from me, Chris And me, Paul, we'll see you next time.