The Post Pavilion Podcast
Two best mates, a couple of microphones and absolutely no plan. Join Chris Morley and Paul Gilbert as they chat about everyday life, how they became friends, things that amuse them far more than they probably should, and a fair amount of pointless guff (who even uses that word?). Along the way there’s regular features like What Gets on Your Tuts, Chris v Paul, and whatever else seems like a good idea at the time. New episodes drop every other Friday. For updates, follow us on Facebook & Instagram @postpavilionpodcast.
The Post Pavilion Podcast
Toy Story Stag Do Part 2 & A Muggle In A Lift
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
The lads are back and have plenty to catch up on!
Chris shares his solo beach trip during the UK heatwave, Paul talks speeding fines, expensive car repairs and his coffee addiction, and the debate continues over whether watching Toy Story belongs on a stag do.
Plus, Take That gets reviewed, podcast stats are celebrated, and listeners send in their biggest annoyances for another hilarious round of What Gets on Your Tuts
Thanks for listening and do not forget to like, subscribe and share with your mates. You can get in touch with your questions, shoutouts, TUTS of the week, postpavilionpodcast@gmail.com or check us out on Facebook and Instagram @postpavilionpodcast for all your pod updates
Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast. Two mates, a couple of microphones, and absolutely no plan. We chat everyday life, how we became friends, and things that amuse us far more than anything probably should. And tell you what, there's a lot of pointless guff on the way. Listen back to previous episodes to find out what the true meaning of guff is. Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast.
ChrisIs your house so hot the chocolate melts before you eat it? Stop sweating and start chilling with the chill trill. Our energy efficient air conditioning units keep your home cool, comfortable, and your family arguing about something other than heat. Call Jim at the Chill Trill today because the only thing that should be roasting this summer is the barbecue. Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast with me, Chris Morley.
PaulAnd me, Paul Gilbert. We are back. We are back, and this time you just said before we started recording that this is the first time in like three episodes that we're doing this virtually.
ChrisWe've gone back old school. We've got virtually.
PaulYeah.
ChrisOh, hang on.
PaulUm my face. Somebody rang me on my phone.
ChrisWe've literally started the pod, and somebody was trying to read it.
PaulYeah, it's always like it's always the case on the last episode. My watch was going off. Yeah. So I've muted that. Then now I've muted my laptop. I've muted my phone, but because we're on the phone as well. Oh, then she's ringing again. Well, it's my mum. It's my mum. Stop ringing me.
ChrisJust go, just stop ringing me. I've got to record the podcast. Yeah, exactly. Why don't you answer it? When she rings, answer it and go, what do you want?
PaulWell, and then I'll put her on loud speaker.
ChrisPut her on loud speaker and she'll be on the podcast.
PaulNo, I don't think she'll ring again now, though. Alright. Anyway, crack on. Welcome. How are you?
ChrisI'm very good. Very nice week. Very, very well. This is the time record. We've had just had the mammoth heat wave that everybody's been chatting about. And uh I've loved I think I'm the only one that's really enjoy the heat wave because I love the heat. I'm like a walking solar panel. I need a bit of sunshine in my life, and I feel great.
PaulI feel really you you love you love the vitamin D.
ChrisYes. I'm all over.
PaulIs that what the sun gives off? Vitamin D, is it? Well, it does in my world. And oh right, okay.
ChrisDo you know what? I even treated myself to go down the beach last week.
PaulDo you know what? Yeah, I remember this. You um I texted you in the morning and said uh we were talking about random stuff, whatever, and you went, I'm just off down the beach. Yeah. So what you went down to Bournemouth beach?
ChrisI went down well, I went down to Bosco Beach, and it was a Wednesday. I went down after the school run, so I was down there by about nine o'clock, nobody on it, just me and a few stragglers.
PaulAnd what and what did you do down at the beach?
ChrisDid you just sit there and read a book or well look, I've got my towel out, uh sun cream myself up. Do you know what I found really difficult? Is you know when you're when you're trying to sun cream yourself up, it's it's your back that's the issue. Now, you haven't got anybody to do that for you because you're on your own.
PaulSo you can't really ask a random stranger, can you cream me back?
ChrisNo, but there was a part of me that nearly did. I nearly Yeah, they're walking past me and I went, is it weird? Is that weird?
PaulNo, that is weird. But that reminds me that if we if we were on, I don't know if you know the American TV programme, practical jokers. Yeah. Right? They tried to do a UK version, but it absolutely don't. Yeah, it didn't work. But the American version, the guys on there, that's the sort of stuff that they would do. They would like go on a like uh a beach and go, you've got to ask somebody to cream your back for you.
ChrisBut I was on my own though, and I just thought it is what it is. It was boring.
PaulI don't think I've ever gone to like I don't think I've ever gone out my way to go, I'm gonna go and sit on a beach.
ChrisWell, look, I I don't do it all the time, but I went down there, sat there for a bit, and I if I'm honest with you, it was too hot. It it was a bit too hot. I was sat in the sun, I was worried I was gonna get burnt.
PaulRight, hang on a minute. Sorry, pause it, pause. You just said not two minutes ago, I'm one of the only people that's probably not moaned about the heat. No. And then now you've gone, sat, I'm sat on a beach, and it was too hot.
ChrisI was worried about my skin getting burnt. It wasn't because it was of course you were. It was just a bit like, oh god, it is how. How long were you there for? I was there for an hour. So what I did was I sat there and I went, right, I'm gonna take a little stroll and a little dip in the sea. It was beautiful. And then I had a little dip, had a little swim, I put my towel near near the on the sand, or didn't bring it in the sea, obviously. Uh, and had a little paddle, it was lovely, so nice. It was like it was like being on holiday.
PaulRight, wait, I need to give you my opinion on beaches and sea. I don't like British beaches and sea. Why? I because every sea I've seen, it's just brown water. Ah, you're going to the wrong place. I don't I don't think we I don't think we look after our waters enough. And I hate sand. I can't stand sand. And even when I go away on holiday, I I don't mind it. I'll do it, but I'm not happy about it. Like, as long as it's not as if I can't do a full day on the beach. So if I ever go away, I will agree that we do half a day.
ChrisAnd you're not one of these people who goes, Oh, there's too much sand. Can we find a pebbly beach? You're not one of those people, are you? Exactly.
PaulNo, no, I'm not no, yeah, but I hate pebbly because they hurt when you walk on them. I just I'm I'm just not a big fan of sand and I don't mind the sea, but British seas, I'm I'm out. I'm a fan.
ChrisCome down to Bournemouth. It is beautiful. There's not it's not blue though, is it?
PaulIt's not like crystal clear blue. It's not far off, honestly. It's not though, is it? It's not the same.
ChrisIt's better than the beach that you live near.
PaulYeah, yeah, but yeah, totally. Um I live in my head, and it's like a brown, it's horrible. It is horrible. And I've been in that water, and I don't blame you. And I used to and I used to work at an establishment um years ago, and I once went to like the local council meeting. I got You went to a council meeting? Yeah, it was really random. I was the Ents manager, and then the resort director and the general manager basically stitched me up and said, Can you do us a favour, mate? We're busy next Friday. So can you go along to the council meeting and represent? So I went and I sat there and listened to people moaning about potholes, bins. Um, and then they started talking about the beach and the how polluted it is, and I was like, So why are they letting that makes me never want to go in the sea?
ChrisWhy are they letting people on it then if it's so polluted? I know. But come down to Bournemouth, honestly, come down. It's it is like it we are we are in the Bournemouth Riviera, honestly, it's beautiful.
PaulRight, but my only problem with that is that the climate within England and the UK is not consistent enough. So therefore, but when you go abroad, like Spain or Portugal, the climate is like consistent all year round. So the water is slightly warmer than it is if you were to go on a beach in but no, I can't understand.
ChrisIt was 35 degrees, so it was like it was just like getting in the bath. It was like yeah, but the water's still cold. It wasn't that's the point. Look, you've got to with those things, you've just got to gradually work your way in. Anyway, it's been that art. The sea's well warm now. It's better to go with it, it's better to go in it now than it would be in a few months' time.
PaulThat's not well anyway. I I I'm happy that you're happy that you went down to the beach. Loved it. Yeah, I did you did text me, I was a bit like a bit weird.
ChrisDo you know what? Because I live near the coast. I never weirdly, where the when you live somewhere that's quite touristy, you never sort of visit these places.
PaulAnd I was Yeah, but I do live in a tourist town. I live in my nade in Somerset, and if it is tourist, so when like and actually I do appreciate it more now than I ever did before. Like even yesterday I got up, I felt a bit poo, so I just got dressed, I put my shorts on, and I put my headphones in and I went for a walk. Um, and it was lovely.
ChrisThey got a good railway station where you live.
PaulThey have got a good railway station. You need a mortgage to buy a ticket, but anyway. So that's been your week. So that's been my week.
ChrisAnd that to do, and of course, kids were off school because it was too hot. It was too hot for them to go to school. What I don't understand, Paul, is why don't they put air conditioning units into schools? Because you can they can blow out hot air when it's cold and cold air when it's warm. I know, I know.
PaulRight, let's let's hold on to let right listen, let's hold on to that. Let's let's save because we have had somebody get in touch about schools closing and everything. Alright, we'll talk about that later in the let's hold that later. Do you want to ask me how my week?
ChrisYeah, how's your week been, Paul?
PaulYeah, it's been great, yeah. Thanks. Great, let's move on. Right, anyway, move on. Uh no, we'll we'll talk a little bit more about the stagdo that I went on. Um I had uh I had a very expensive day one day.
ChrisVery expensive day?
PaulYeah, I got caught speeding, so I've had to pay the £100 fine, so I've paid that. Now I've got six points, not three. And then my car went in for what I thought was an all change. It turns out it was an all change. I've had new spark plugs, I've had new filter, and that was 400 quid. So I had a 500 pound day, and then on the flip it, I nearly had a I did nearly have a 620 pound day because my front door was a bit dodgy, my lock. So it was really weird. I have to unlock it, but I couldn't take the key out, so then you have to open the door, then lock the door, and then pull the key out. It was confusing, but anyway, I then saved myself 100 quid by googling it. See? Where would we be? So I took the cylinder out. I took the cylinder out because some guy had messaged me saying I'll come and sort your lockout for 120 quid. How much? 120, 120 quid. So then, but he mentioned on the text message saying uh your cylinders broke. I think that's what he said. Yeah. So I then went, oh, so I just googled how'd you take a cylinder out of door. I did that, took it to screw fix, went, give me one of them. They gave me one of them. I put it in 20 quid later, bosh. Well done. I did DOI. Right, listen, it gets better. I got I got a lo a lock and I was like, I like this lock. So then I went back, got another lock, and I put it on the back door. The back door's fine. But anyway, I just went and did it. I've had two new locks.
ChrisWell, come around my house, I've got about four that he'd do in.
PaulNah, nah, I'm alright, I'm alright. But anyway, so I saved I did so I did actually have a £540 day when I didn't work, I didn't do any gigging or anything. And that that annoyed me.
ChrisThe thing is, you don't mind spending that money if you've got something to show it for. So if that if that was like buying a brand new telly, you go, hey, look at my brand new telly. But now they can't go, oh yeah, look at my car. Do you know what work it's been done? Yeah. Yeah. So life sucks like that sometimes, doesn't it?
PaulAnd so I had a I had a very expensive day off, and then I've basically been on tour. But I'm I'm gonna stop saying I've been on tour because I feel like every episode I go on on tour.
ChrisYou're always on tour. I don't think there's an episode ever you've gone, I've stopped touring.
PaulNo, but we were just talking before though, because you were just telling me about your animal guys schedule that you're going. Were you going to Spain? I'll go back on the cruises, Paul. You're going back on the cruises, I've and then you just you just had the nerve to tell me what your schedule was while you were on the ship, and then go, yeah, well, it's a bit tough. And then I go, what?
ChrisWell, look.
PaulI'm on tour. Right, this is the last time I'm gonna talk about it. On the next episode, I'm not gonna talk about being on tour, but I am now on tour every day up and down the country for the next nine weeks.
ChrisYou're busier than than Jason Manford. And I'm I'm sounding negative.
PaulI'm not negative about it. I I love it. This it's my job, it's the best job in the world, and I get to go on stage every day to 4,000 people a day. That's amazing. But only 4,000. Only 4,000. No biggie. No biggie, but 4,000 a day. But I'm on tour. I we we are travelling every day apart from Monday. It's my day off.
ChrisThat's a lot of that's a lot of fuel, isn't it?
PaulThat's a lot of it's a lot of fuel, a lot of travelling. And it's a lot of late nights. Do you know what? A lot of late night coffee. And I'm trying to wean myself off coffee because I getting cranky drink a lot of coffee. But I do drink a lot of coffee, don't I? Do you know what I do? Deca decaf. No, it's not the same.
ChrisYeah, but you still get the taste of a coffee. Yeah, but no, it's irrelevant.
PaulThe purpose I hate people that go, oh, just go decaf. No, the purpose of the coffee, the coffee was brought into this world as a caffeinated drink to help you on your way. It's I that's my purpose of coffee, but I'm trying to wean myself off coffee because I I did make a note the other day while I was in Skegnes, and within the space of 10 in the morning and 2 a.m. the following morning of me getting back home, I had six lattes.
ChrisNo wonder you can't sleep.
PaulSo true. I didn't get and actually funny that at the time of the recording, yeah. I had six I had six lattes in uh 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 hours. But it's funny you say that because even last night I haven't actually been to bed.
ChrisI think yeah, no, I didn't sleep. Well, that's the this is your problem. You're drinking.
PaulI lay in bed, I lay in bed, and I was like, What uh I'll go sleep, and then I did the whole routine, put some on the telly that I'm not really interested in, make me fall asleep. That didn't happen. By the way, my kitchen is spotless. I was cleaning my kitchen listening to McFly at 3am this morning.
ChrisBut you'll never why you clean a kitchen, you're never there.
PaulSo it's nice in there, isn't it?
ChrisBut why you could actually let's let's forget that. Why are you cleaning a kitchen at 3am? Listen to McFly.
PaulBecause I was awake. I just couldn't sleep. So then I kind of like I thought I'd doze for a bit, and then I was like, no, I can't doze. And I was like, oh you need to I'll just get up. So I got up and then I made myself a cup of tea. Then I had to have it black because I have no milk, because I'm never here long enough to buy milk.
ChrisSo you had a cup of tea before you went to bed?
PaulNo, I had a cup of tea at like R3 this morning.
ChrisWell, this is your problem.
PaulThere's caffeine in tea. Well, no, this is where I I change my argument slightly because I do have decaf tea.
ChrisOh, here we go.
PaulBecause I don't mind a decaf tea. Because a tea, a tea for me is a social drink.
ChrisYes, you're right.
PaulSo it's like to fancy a brew, I'll have a brew. So I do have decaf tea bags.
ChrisSo why don't you go on a decaf coffee? No, because coffee.
PaulThe purpose the purpose of coffee is to give you that boost for the rest of the day.
ChrisBut you're having too much of a boost. I get it, if you have one or two, that's that's acceptable.
PaulBut that's why I'm trying to wean myself off coffee. Well, go for the decaf lattice. Right, I've been I have a I've had a hospital appointment this morning. Um, everything's fine. Thanks for asking. Yeah, um you're right. Yeah, I'm all good. Um but I had a hospital appointment and I had to leave the house at I think quarter to seven this morning. Yeah. To drive 50 minutes to my local hospital. It's not that local, is it? 50 minutes to get to hospital. Yeah, I had to drive I had to drive, and do you know what's worse? 50 minutes, 22 miles. You do the math. So what? Um but at 10 to 7, the NHS is on its knees. No, it's absolutely not. But it's the fact I live in the of nowhere. But I I had a coffee at 10 to 7 this morning. Then I even when I drove back to come home and do this, I even contemplated getting one on the way back. I stopped myself. I think you've got an addiction to coffee. I think that's I think I have as well. I think I took my life out.
ChrisI think you need to just anyway. We spoke a lot on coffee actually, to be fair.
PaulUh so anyway, so let's talk and let's talk talk. But anyway, yeah, that's been my week. And um, I thought, let's move on quickly. I haven't done something for absolutely ages. Go on. Stats. Oh, the stats. How are we looking? I haven't done stats for ages, and I don't even know how I do stats, but I'm just gonna get our little app up and it's gonna tell me what the stats are. So is it something we want?
ChrisIs it something we want to broadcast? Is it something we like to do?
PaulYeah, I think it is we want to broadcast, but yeah, actually, I know a while ago we celebrated the fact that we had hit 4,000 downloads of the Postphone podcast. We did, very good. Which is cool. So thank you for those people that are listening in.
ChrisThank you.
PaulBut but Chris, we are just over a hundred downloads away from 5,000 downloads.
ChrisHow cool is that? That is cool. And I mean, look, we're just a small little podcast, just two mates just having a chat. And so and for some of you, you like listening to this. And that's what I'm saying.
PaulBut we've got some new locations. Right. So we've got new locations. Go on. Are you ready for this?
ChrisI'm ready for them.
PaulUh Bexley. Don't know where that is. Bexley. Is that the the UK? We're talking the UK. Bexley, Heath, Bexley. No, these are just new locations. Yeah, and actually they're all in England. Uh Braintree in Essex. Yeah. Oh, shout. Shout up. Someone's been listening in Hertfordshire. Very nice. Posh and Leicestershire. There are new locations, top locations recently. Well, there we go.
ChrisHello to the next one.
PaulThere we are. 90 days. The past three months we've had 700 downloads. Any how cool.
ChrisIs there any any countries which you know a little bit out there? You probably wouldn't.
PaulUh hang on. I can I can click on uh locations, bear with. Um any new countries. Well, actually, in the past five episodes, we've had 26 downloads in North America, but no downloads in South America.
ChrisHello to our American friends.
PaulThere we are. Welcome. And uh new countries, uh Iceland. Well, there you go. Who's listened to us in Iceland? Well, if you are, get in touch. We've had two downloads in Iceland. And our top do you know do you want to know what our top city is over the past five episodes? What's that? Plymouth.
ChrisPlymouth. Look, we're big in Plymouth, big in Iceland. I think those who've been listening. I don't think they've been listening in Iceland. I think they've just stumbled across this pod, listened to maybe the first 30 seconds and gone. Not for me. But if you are gonna do that, keep doing it because it makes our stats look good.
PaulBut thank you to everybody. But that's a quick overview of our stats.
ChrisThere we go. And also thank you so much for listening. We genuinely do appreciate it, don't we, Paul? Because you know. It's just us two having a chat, and this is a little insight in terms of our day-to-day chats, but we just put it out there. Yeah.
PaulBut we don't talk about half the stuff on here.
ChrisNo, we probably that we probably don't need to.
PaulWhat's your thoughts on like I I've got something I want to discuss with you. Are we a are we a are we a family podcast? Is that what we are?
ChrisWell, I get I guess we are, yeah. We we go.
PaulOh, right, cool. Because j just when we do what gets on your toots later, when we do that segment, I've had a lot of messages with swear words in them. Uh well we can just And we're we're not swearing, no? We're not swearing. Well right then. I'll just I'll just just check in before I read them out. Good. Um shall we talk about the fact that we may have started a bit of a bit of beef, stroke war with a fellow podcaster?
ChrisYes, we need to. Tell us more, Paul. Explain the situation.
PaulOn the on the last episode, we discussed the fact that I was going on a stagdo to Liverpool. Um it was nice. I I was a bit reserved. I've gone off the drink a bit.
ChrisSo you just so you just on the um just on the alcohol-free cause?
PaulNo, I didn't do it. I had a few parts, but we went to a comedy club, that was nice, and then they all went off to party. Oh, do I sound really old?
ChrisYou sat so old. They went to a disco tech and had a good time.
PaulAnd I decided to go home. No, we went to the comedy club, that was really good, really funny, but then we left the comedy club. I then walked 25 minutes to a bar, and I just I just wasn't feeling it.
ChrisDid you step in and go?
PaulI was instep. I didn't even get that far. I didn't even get that far. I just saw everybody going in, and then I was like, do you know what?
ChrisHaving a good time. Yeah, come on, let's get his shots in.
PaulYeah, and I just went, do you know what? I'll leave him to it. I'm out of here, I'll see him all tomorrow. So I was actually in bed on the Friday night of the stag weekend by 25 past ten.
ChrisYou went on a stag do, and you was in bed by 25 past ten.
PaulYeah, I was watching the Scotland game. Oh my goodness, what's happened to you, Paul? No, and then and then we did paintballing, uh, we went paintballing, that was good. I I am absolutely covered from head to toe in bruises, um, because it was David's stag dude from The Animal Guys. And if you've been paintballing as part of a stagdo, they get the stag to do the stag walk. Yes, where you run from one side of the room. Yeah, yeah, so you run from one side of the room to the other, and then um David did it, took it like a champ, and then I thought that was it. And then the marshal said, Uh David, you Get to pick someone to do it. At that point, I knew who was gonna pick me, so I ended up doing the stag walk as well. And I did I think I should sent you a picture, didn't I? I had an egg on my head. You did.
ChrisIt was it looked pretty nasty, if I'm honest.
PaulYeah, so I got I got shot in the head and my head blew up, and I had an egg hanging out my head. Um, but I did that, and then I nominated uh Toby, who is David's friend that hosts the fellow podcast, two mics and a mic. That was it all honky dory. But we did speak about that on the last episode that David was starting his stagdo by going to watch Toy Story 5, and you had some views about that.
ChrisI think it's absolutely crackers that they went and done that wait because that isn't a stagdo. That you can't go on a stagdo, and the first thing you go and do is watch a family film. You usually go watch that with your kids or your family, you're not gonna be around the room. Not with a group, not with a group of lads going, oh let's go watch Toy Story. Come on, Chris.
PaulStop ranting. Sorry, but anyway, the two makes a mic podcast have released their latest episode, and basically David has responded to you by saying, like, he's basically mugging you off. He started a war.
ChrisLook, I I did a little poll, okay? I did a little poll on my Instagram earlier this week.
PaulI I know you did, and I'm looking forward to it. And uh bear in mind, let I'm I'm not taking David's side in this, but it wasn't it wasn't the start of the Stagdo weekend. The start of the stagdo was at three o'clock.
ChrisDo you want to hear some of the responses? I put, is it acceptable to watch Toy Story on a Stagdo? Somebody put no chance. Somebody put somebody who really doesn't like Toy Story to says it's never acceptable to watch Toy Story, which I nearly went back and went, it's a great film, but uh you can't be saying things like that because Toy Story's great. Uh somebody put yes, it is acceptable, and the next response were no, smile faces, not a chance. Cancel the stagdo.
PaulSo but we have to defend David here a little bit. I'm not saying that I'm taking David's side, but I am saying that the stagdo didn't officially start till three o'clock. That was when we all met in the pub and went, ooh, lov, loves, lov, loves. I didn't get there till four. Um, but and everybody had gone.
ChrisDid you walk out? Did you walk in and go, ah, it's not for me? I'm just gonna walk back down the street.
PaulNo, I just got there, I got stuck in traffic, and then I got to the pub and there was only a few people there, and then I had quit pint and then I went and checked in. But David, I do see David's point, but you've got to remember Toy Story.
ChrisThe first film came out in I think it was '94, '95, I think.
PaulYeah. So what how old were you in '95?
ChrisUh I was probably about six, seven.
PaulSo you were six. So did you watch Toy Story one? Six, seven.
ChrisYeah, I did, yeah, I watched it in the cinema. One of my first seven films I watched in the cinema, actually.
PaulThere you go. So for people of our generation, we grew up watching Toy Story, so I understand why.
ChrisYeah, but you wouldn't, yeah, but you wouldn't go on a stagdo and go, we'll go and watch it. You go, do you know what? I'll do the stag do. In a few days' time, I'll go pop to the cinema and go and watch it. Not with a group of.
PaulWell, I need to let you into a little secret.
ChrisGo on.
PaulGuess what I did the morning before I went to the stagdo.
ChrisYou didn't. You went to watch Toy Story.
PaulI went and watched Toy Story 5. So you go.
ChrisSo you were going to a Stagdew and you thought, on the way it up, I thought, kill a bit of time, go watch Toy Story. You could have been there.
PaulExactly what happened.
ChrisYou could have been there earlier and got the beers.
PaulNo, you're right, I was. No, listen, let me explain myself. So I was I was away in Leeds and We went we we had to be out of our room. So we I went and um we had to be out our I was staying in an apartment and I had to be out of the apartment by 10, and I was like, oh well if I leave now I'm gonna get to Liverpool like half eleven. I'm not doing anything. So I went I s I just went and watched Toy Story 5 at the same time that David was watching Toy Story 5. But you didn't go in technically uh But you didn't go in with him. No, I didn't go with him. Oh you just went on your own. Okay, yeah. So fair enough. But I this has now started a really big beef with two mates and a mic to the degree that now David started a rivalry with you, but Toby, the other the other half of the duo, has now started a rivalry with me. Oh, well there you well because I picked him to do the stag walk. Well listen it all feels like it's getting out of hand.
ChrisIs it me or is it weird that you go on a stagdo and the go and watch Toy Story? I just find it.
PaulI think you're fix but you are fixating on the fact that you believe he started his stagdo with Toy Story 5. It didn't. They were your stagdo didn't start till three, it was there in the morning. But anyway, so David's got a rather roo with you. I've now got a rather roo with Toby. So we are gonna announce that there we are gonna be doing a collab episode with two makes and a mic. Looking forward to that. And we're gonna put it all to bed.
ChrisPut it all to bed. There you go.
PaulThere's that's they were but David was very angry with you. If you want to know more, go on our socials. I've made a video and I put it on there. And I'm I'm in the middle of doing another video where you're responding today's video.
ChrisYeah, I will be I will be sending my response.
PaulLook out for that one.
ChrisSo oh, before we get on to our our our favourite feature, we've got to briefly talk about take that because the last episode we were well, yeah, because we were the last episode we were about to go watch take that. Oh yeah. And we you know, uh we were gonna sort of do a little bit of feedback because I think they've pretty much finished the tour. Are they finished? They're still on tour, probably.
PaulWhat do you mean we were giving them feedback? What you think take that and listen to this episode going on what Chris and Paul is going.
ChrisSay again. So sorry, you you broke up a little bit there. That's a breakup, so I do apologize.
PaulUm, so you you just said we need to give some feedback. What you think take that and listen to our podcast go wondering what we think about it.
ChrisThey might be.
PaulBut anyway, I we did go and watch Take That. We recorded the podcast at where did we stay?
ChrisWe stayed at the Celtic Manor.
PaulOh, we did say that. Because you loved it that much.
ChrisWe we we nearly got sponsored on that episode by them.
PaulYeah, we did. I forgot to tack them in it actually. But what was your thoughts on Take That?
ChrisI absolutely loved it. It was better than I thought I saw I've seen it on I never saw it live the first time round. But what I did love was seeing it in its all its form and all its glory. It was better than I'd ever expected. It was so good.
PaulDo you know what? Um, on popular opinion, I thought take that were okay. Okay, I thought they were okay. And I think take that wouldn't be take that without Gary Barlow. Fact. Yes, correct. Right? And I thought that the I but I think they've got themselves to such an elite level now that take that or just take that. It's about what you do around it. And I I've got some inside inside info. Go on. So I know somebody that worked on the circus tour first time round.
ChrisDid you?
PaulOkay. Yeah. So I know somebody that worked on the circus tour first time round, and the circus tour in 2016, I think it was, it cost 260 million to put that tour on. The last circus tour, you say the last circus tour cost 260 million to put on, and they've made a profit of 60 million. So do the math there.
Chris2009 was the last tour. Oh, was it 2009?
PaulYeah, so yeah, so I he I he rang me randomly and he was asking my thoughts and stuff. But the production level on that tour was incredible.
ChrisIt was, it was so good. It was so good. There was stuff going on left, right, and centre, and I I I loved it.
PaulYou were getting a bit annoyed at me because you were like singing away to certain stuff songs and stuff, and then I'm too busy looking at the production of it. I was trying to work out certain bits on how they do certain bits, and I was right 99% of the time.
ChrisWhat bit did you was you like, oh that's it.
PaulWell, I just like how the how how they got from A stage to B stage. I was trying to work out how revolving it happens and stuff like that. Then I had a little look and I could see. But there was one bit because they start the show with a tent, a circus tent. Yes. Yes, that's right. And I was going, how are they getting rid of that circus tent? I get the cloth goes, but I didn't understand how the the framework was going to disappear because in the stadium we were in, they didn't have the height. And then when it happened, I went, Oh yeah, that was easy.
ChrisIt just kind of lifted up and because if I was taking if I was taking a tent down, it would take me at least an hour.
PaulI don't like camping, but that's another story. Yeah, I would I would give it eight out of ten.
ChrisEight out of ten, I'd give it a nine point two.
PaulUh right now my dad's ringing me. Do we answer it?
ChrisOh, go on.
PaulDo we answer it? Hang on. Let's answer it, see what he says. Hang on. Hello?
Paul's DadHello.
PaulYou're live on the Post Pavilion podcast. We're recording an episode right now. Alright, I'll ring you back later. Bye. Oh, Ian got quick.
ChrisI thought he was gonna I thought he was gonna be. I thought he was gonna be on the pod.
PaulUh uh, but yeah, so I'll give it an eight out of ten. What do you give it?
ChrisUh I will give it, yeah, nine point two.
PaulNine point two, I'm gonna give it. I'm now FaceTime you back, by the way.
ChrisOh, oh hang on. Oh that's oh that that that threw me then.
PaulRight now mute your microphone. Oh now I'm muted. I can't have it out. There you go. So you gave it a nine out of ten. Well done, you.
Chris9 out of 10. 9 out of 10. So uh yeah, very, very good.
PaulDo you think they'll ever tour again?
ChrisYeah, of course they will. They're they're touring every couple of years. They're gonna be milking that until they're at least 80. At least.
PaulI don't know. Well, I would say that we've done three now. We've seen take that three times. I think next time, I think we should give it a rest. Alright, okay. Let me take it to a McFly concert. Oh no. No, you're right. You're okay. Uh anyway, should we move on to our favourite segment of the show?
ChrisYes, it's time for what gets on your toots.
What Gets On Your Tuts Theme TunePost pavilion podcast. What gets on your toot? What gets on your toot? Tell us what gets on your toot. What gets on your toot? What gets on your toot? What gets on your two? What gets on your toots?
ChrisLove the theme chain.
PaulI do love the change.
ChrisRight, let's kick things off then. What have we got? Who have we got? What's their tut?
PaulRight then. So I did put a post out uh the other day and said, tell us, let us know what gets on you.
ChrisYou say really west country then. Or you did put a post out on the on our socials.
PaulWhere do I do I live in the West Country? No, I'm southwest.
ChrisYou do South West? Yeah, yeah, you're the West Country. Oh, yeah, yeah.
PaulOkay, but anyway, uh, yeah, I put a post out the other day and we had loads of responses, so thank you to everybody that responded. Thank you. Um we probably won't get through them all. Uh we'll save some for another episode. But um Yvonne Oakley from Staffordshire got in touch and she said people that when driving don't use their indicators to make them aware of their intentions or directions.
ChrisYeah, I think I've brought this up in the past. It annoys me when people go around roundabouts and they don't indicate. You're like, I don't know which way you're going. And then if you're not indicating, I then pull out, and then that's where crashes happen. So I completely I'm with you, Von here. I hate it. Do you I cannot just use your indicators, that's what they were built for.
PaulDo you know what? I'm gonna admit that I'm very inconsistent with that.
ChrisYou'd annoy me then, round around about.
PaulNo, but like, let me let me let me like explain. If I if I'm driving in the day, I'm all over it. But sometimes when you're driving at one, two, three in the morning and there's nothing on the road. That's what what am I indicating to?
ChrisI I I completely understand that because there's no traffic on the road. But when it's busy and you're trying to go around a roundabout and you don't know which way they're gonna go, and they don't bother indicating, you're like, thanks. It's only on roundabouts, never anywhere else. Just roundabouts.
PaulYeah, but do you but if you're coming up to a junction, yeah. Let's say you're on a main road and you're turning down left down a side street, yeah. Do you indicate? Absolutely. I don't.
ChrisWell, that's just being purely slow down, turn left. Yeah, but what happens if people are people think you'll get to the room?
PaulIf I'm turning right, if I'm going down a street and I'm turning right into a side street, then yeah, I've got to indicate because I'm going across ongoing traffic. But if I'm on a main road and I'm going left down a side street, why do I need to indicate? I'll just slow down and turn.
ChrisWell, I think that you would actually uh have uh a small minor for that instance if you were taking your test again.
PaulWell, I've got six points, so yes. Well, if you if you indicate a bit more, you might not get any more. Yeah, but never say never by the year I might end up losing my licence. I'm I'm so scared of losing my licence. Say what it'd be a great episode, wouldn't it?
ChrisBe a good episode for the whole.
PaulWhat that I lost my driving license. The one Yeah, but I need my licence for my job.
ChrisThe episode where Paul loses his licence. Oh, could you imagine?
PaulBut thank you, Yvonne for getting it. Yeah, thank you for that. Um we Chris is more on your side than I am. Yeah, I am, yeah. Alright, uh stop moaning. Uh do you want to read one out?
ChrisYeah, Tim uh Tim from Skegnes says uh people who press the lift button 12 times, like it gives the lift motivation. Good one, like that.
PaulIronically, I saw that this morning when I was at the hospital. Did you? Yeah, so I had to go, I was on ground floor, but my appointment was on the second floor, and why are lifts so awkward? But anyway, I pressed the button, the lift opened, and then there was a person inside. It was a a a muggle, so it wasn't a doctor or a nurse or it was a muggle. What's a muggle? Do you not watch Harry Potter? No. So you have the wizarding world and then you have the muggle world. So muggle is like a normal human being.
ChrisI'm so confused. So somebody in the lift, is that what you're saying?
PaulYeah, there was somebody in the lift that didn't work there, basically. Oh sorry, I was just trying to add a bit of rasmatazz to it, a muggle. Some of our lists will relate to that.
ChrisNo, they won't. Surely they won't.
PaulRight. If you if you know the meaning of muggle, then just drop us a like. Just drop me a message on any of the socials and go, yes. That's all you need to say, nothing else.
ChrisI was like, a muggle, yeah. What's what's a muggle? Never muggle. Never heard from Harry Potter. I've never heard anybody use that in conversation ever.
PaulYeah, we talk about it when you go that we're in showbiz world, and then when we're not in showbiz world, we're in the muggle world. We're just normal people.
ChrisI have never used that, and I'm in Showbiz.
PaulI've Right. I have never Have you ever watched Harry Potter? No, because I'm not 10. Sorry, wait a minute. You've never watched a single Harry Potter film.
ChrisI think I've watched the first one. Uh that's the one that he goes. I couldn't tell I I don't know who the characters are. I watched Shut up. Nah, not interested.
PaulWhat, so you've never been to Warner Brothers Studios in London where they filmed it and stuff. Nah, not that bothered. So you're not excited about Christmas Day that HBO are bringing out the new like the series of Harry Potter. No. Are you joking? You won't get me watching it.
ChrisOh mate! Get me a new series of 24 hours of pleasure. I mean no.
PaulI've been to right, wait a minute. I've been to Florida two times in the past three years, and one of my highlights is going to like Harry Potter studios.
ChrisYeah, but you're a you're a nearly 40-year-old man. You can't be watching it.
PaulI haven't pictures down Daigon Alley. Do you know what Daigon Alley is? Never a move. Of course you don't. Do you know what Gryffindor is? No. Hufflepuff. So you don't know what Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor. No. I only know you don't know what any of them.
ChrisI only know Harry Potter, Hermione, and who's the ginger one?
PaulRon Weasley.
ChrisYeah, Ron Weasley. That's the only three I know.
PaulYou know Miriam Margolis, whatever her name is. Miriam Miriam Marglaes is that name? You know who she is, isn't it?
ChrisI know who Miriam is, yeah.
PaulShe was in Harry Potter.
ChrisWas she? Yeah. Never seen it. Oh my. Never seen it. I couldn't even tell you.
PaulYou know who Dumbledore is? You don't know who Dumbledore is?
ChrisI've never heard of the name. If it's comes up in a queen show.
PaulRight, anyway. I feel like I feel sorry for Tim here because we've literally moved off away from his talk. Um because I said one word muggle. But anyway, I was in the hospital. Stop laughing about the word muggle. Not a thing.
ChrisI've never heard anybody go, oh, there was a muggle in the lift. What's a muggle?
PaulLike, I've never heard a normal person, not a doctor, a nurse, a surgeon.
ChrisWhy didn't you just say there was a purse in the lift?
PaulBecause that's a terminology that we use. A muggle.
ChrisNext time I go into a lift, I go, there's a there's a muggle in here.
PaulRight. You don't get it because you're not. I don't class myself as a massive Harry Potter fan. Clearly not. But but there are right, forget it. Right, Tim, we're gonna do yours again. Right, shut up with you. I said one word and it tickled your tonsils. Right. We've had a message from Tim. He said. I feel sorry for Tim here. Sorry. He's gone to the effort of sending a message in. Right. I was in the hospital this morning. It sounds like a starving joke. A mugger walks in.
What Gets On Your Tuts Theme TuneA mother walked into a lift.
PaulWell, that's a soundbite sort of. Um people who press the lift 12 times to give it motivation. I was in a lift today, there was a normal person in the lift.
What Gets On Your Tuts Theme TuneThat's that's what you should have said.
PaulThey were just a blessing in the lift. Alright. But I was in the lift, and then I got in the lift, they were in the lift already, and then you have to wait for the doors to close, but they were pressing the like the close button loads of times. Yes. Doesn't help.
ChrisDoesn't it? Do you know? I don't know if this is a fact or anything. I've just made this up. But if you're going, say, for example, you go to floor eight, if you just press the door and then hold in floor number eight, the lift will take you straight to that floor.
PaulSee, no, that I think that only that's only a system that they have on cruise ships.
ChrisIs it? Oh, I thought it worked in every lift.
PaulYeah, I don't know. Well, I'll tell you what, next time I go into a lift with a muggle, I'll let you know. But no, actually, next, yeah, so on cruise ships, that's like a cruise ship hack. That but basically they use that because if there's an emergency, then a team member on a ship needs to get to deck two really quickly. Then that's why.
ChrisOh, is that why?
PaulOh, yeah, yeah, that's why. Well, you're going on a cruise ship next week. I see.
ChrisI will I will let you know.
PaulGo on then. There we are. Tim actually Tim actually came to us with a few, but we're gonna save some of his. But he did say one of his tuts is our jingle. How dare he?
ChrisWhat the j what the what gets on your tut, jingle?
PaulWhat gets on your tutz? Whatever it is. Yeah, you don't like our jingle.
ChrisWell, you can always fast forward it.
PaulYou can just press on just press the skip button. Uh so right, talked about uh people who moan about schools closing and shutting early in extreme.
ChrisUh yes, that was my that was my tut, actually, to be fair.
PaulUm yeah, but Sammy Robinson got in touch and said that one as well.
ChrisShe did. Well, what'd she say? What did she say? I can't see.
PaulWell, I've just read it out. Are you not listening? Oh yes.
ChrisYeah, I mean well look, I know it's hot, but why can't we install air conditioning units that blow out cold air? I know they're not cheap, I know they're expensive, I know somebody's got to fund it, but if it means that I spoke to somebody uh in the week and their child goes to a school that has air conditioned in their classroom and they still sent their kids home. Like, why? Yeah. Granted, other parts of the school didn't, but this particular class had air con air con units in their classroom. And they're like, well, hang on a minute, how does that work? Because I'm literally taking my child out of school to sit in the heat.
PaulRight. Well, I I am gonna sit on the fence with it because no one ever I don't remember a time when I was at school where we got sent home because it was too hot and we never got sent home when it was too cold. But I understand that the world has moved on and there's welfare procedures in place and no one gave a toss about me back then. No. So why should I give a toss now? Here's my response.
ChrisGo on.
PaulWell No, that was my response.
ChrisOh, that was yeah, sorry, I thought you said and here's my response.
PaulNo, um no, I said that was my response.
ChrisDo you know what? I We in our school we had a fire in the science block and they still opened the school. They just clo they just put a little fence up going, please do not enter. We had to do science somewhere else. Uh and we still had the school open. Different times.
PaulBut I I I don't know. I I understand. I get it if there's a a welfare issue there and that's the only reason that they are doing it. Yeah. But um I just think I think I think there's a bigger conversation to have. If people that turn around and say that um climate change is not a thing, well it is, because the the the the earth, the globe, is getting hotter like by 0.3 degrees every year. So we're gonna get warmer weather as time moves on, but I just think the they the investment needs to be put into schools, like you said, where there can be a system in place that can give cold air and hot air, which means consistently kids can stay in education regardless of the conditions.
ChrisYeah, and do you know what they did? They sent some homework to do. I was like, I'm not doing homework, mate. I'm sticking, I'm putting the paddling pool. You're not their teacher. No, I know, but I I was like, I'm gonna stick my son in the paddling pool, and he's gonna have a great time. You sent him home. I haven't. So we had a lovely day.
PaulYeah, uh, you did have a lovely day in the padding pool. We did have a lovely day.
ChrisYeah, readers of the uh yeah, uh hello to Chris Grey, uh Fred of the Pods, uh listens regularly, uh gives us feedback all the time. Uh so uh we'll mention his tuck this week. Hydration breaks in the World Cup. I I'm on it. I I completely agree with him on that.
PaulNo, I'm I'm I completely get it as well. And you know, and I think it's I'm not saying America like the the football association, whatever in America are trying to make FIFA, but basically, while the hydration breaks are going on, so if you actually like us in England, when we watch the World Cup, we watch the hydration break. Yes, but in America that's all ads. So that's where they're so companies are sp are spending millions and millions of pounds to have their company advertised during the hydration breaks. So is it really a hydration break or is it a way of America fee for all making some money? Well it's gotta be making money.
ChrisAnd and and I don't I like when England were playing the other night, it was chucking it down. It was exactly yeah, but they still had a hydration break. Yeah. Why? I don't know.
PaulAnd it's not no, so um I I fully get that. And do you know what? It just makes the the gate i in in the UK, the games are on 10, 11. England were playing the other night, I think it was 10 o'clock takeoff. Yeah. Well it's a 90-minute game, like 10 till quarter 10 till quarter to eleven, half time, 11 quarter. I could still be in bed for midnight. Well, I wasn't, it was still going on at 20 past 12.
ChrisI was uh the um it just loses the flow of the game to be fair, and I I just don't like it. Don't like it. Yeah, I agree.
PaulI I I would say it's more of a money-making aspect to is it actually improving the game? I actually think it's destroying the game.
ChrisI think bring on more players. Go, you can have more substitutions and rest some rest some players if they're too hot, just go right, you go and do 20 minutes, right? We'll bring on the next one. You do 20 minutes, easy.
PaulYeah, but you could say but you could say they could do this, they could do that, they could do this. The the the the the base model of the game of football is 45 minutes, half time, 45 minutes. We've been playing, we've been playing football for hundreds of years. Why suddenly in 2026? Because America want to make more money out of Marsball, Snickers, Dunkin' Donuts, 7-Eleven, all those big American brands that 7-Eleven. Have you no oh well in America the at the good petrol stations are 7-Eleven?
ChrisOh, are they?
PaulUh do you know what if you ever go to America, go to a 7-Eleven, it is amazing. Um, but all these companies are paying billions of pounds to have their company advertised.
ChrisI'm pretty sure in Qatar they never had hydration brakes, and it's like it's like 50 degrees out there. That I can understand.
PaulBut they did build stadiums, part of a stadium's being built, because they built the stadiums for the purpose of the World Cup. But part of it is was they were all air conditioned. Oh, fair enough. Okay, so yeah, I get why. But yeah, so no, Chris Grey. I um for once in our mine and Chris Gray's 20-year relationship, I actually agree with him on that one.
ChrisYeah, yeah, well done.
PaulShould we do one more?
ChrisWe'll do one more and then uh we will we will pause and wrap it up.
PaulAlright then. So uh Maria Adams, who works in a petrol station, uh local petrol station has comment got in touch and said, working in a petrol station, being told by every customer that it's nice and cold out there. We know it's cold. You don't need to tell us. Yeah, I get that.
ChrisYeah.
PaulImagine the same person, like no, imagine imagine working behind a desk and someone's just coming in, like 50 people walk past you and tell you that England won the England won the game last night. It's like, yeah, I know. And then two minutes later, somebody walks in and goes, Did you watch the game last night? England won. It's like, yeah, I know.
ChrisBut I can imagine because we're so British, we're like, oh yeah, it's nice and cool in here, and you go, Yeah, I know. And it's the same the other way around, isn't it? I was at um I was a uh I was at a class for my son to take on the weekend, and it was boiling in there, and every per so I went and sat down, every person that walked in went, it's hot and here, isn't it? Yes, because we've just had a heat wave, it's gonna be off.
PaulBut I just but we're we're so British that we feel the need to talk about what I I do get Maria's point. She sat behind a counter, all she wants is pay for your petrol, get your coffee, get your bag of skips, and get out.
ChrisGet out, forget the sweet.
PaulThat's my order that I always go and get. But yeah, I yeah, I can I I I can imagine that is frustrating. Oh, it's gotta be in it. More than anything. Yeah, well, so thanks. Thank you for Maria getting in touch.
ChrisAll right, there we go.
PaulShe loves listening to our podcast.
ChrisDoes she is it does she listen when she's uh in when she's working in the petrol station?
PaulUh I'm not sure. I'll ask her. She might be well after this, I've got to go pick up the animal guys' van and I'm driving to Bogner and I do need to fill the van up. She might be working. I'll see you.
ChrisIn my local petrol station, right, just before we go, the guys in there, they're always on the phone. I remember when I worked in the co-op back in the day, if I was on my phone or even talking on my phone while I was serving customers, I would have at least got a warning for that. Every time you go in our petrol station, they're always chatting on the phone, loudspeaker, you hear in the chat, and you literally don't even get a hello. They're just on the phone all the time.
PaulWell, I can speak very highly in my local petrol sections, but yeah, I don't think I've ever walked in and seen him on the phone. Well, this morning at quarter seven when I went and got me coffee, there's a lady in there called Nita. Um, she's a bit old, she's a bit aggregate, and I'll say that to her face. Oh, do you? But we always have a bit of banger. But I walked all the way in, pressed my coffee, and she was still stuck in the shelf behind the counter. And then I went, You're right, Nita, and she jumped out of her skin. She didn't even realise I was in there. She was like, You mean you gave me a heart attack? I was like, Well, bang. Brilliant. Anyway, that's Nita. I'm proper shouting out minor Tesco petrolation. I do go there every day. Big up. So uh anyway, what a good episode.
ChrisEnjoyed that. That was good fun. Hope you enjoyed that too. Uh, don't forget, if you've got any of your tuts on your mind and you think, oh, I'm gonna message in, please do. Uh, because it was it makes great content. So thank you for that.
PaulThanks for listening to the post reading podcast. I've been Paul Gilbert, I'm off to Bogner. And I've been Chris Morley.
ChrisThanks for listening to the podcast, and I'm gonna go downstairs. See you soon.