Welcome to the mindful musings of two spiritual mamas. We are Alisha
and Shelby. Here to share our 20 years of authentic friendship, life experiences and acquired wisdom. infused with love and intention, our episodes will inspire those who are ready to shift their soul path into alignment with its divine purpose.

We will discuss alternative approaches to life's traditional pathways, leaving you with tools in your spiritual toolbox to navigate everyday moments. Knowing and embodying the empowered self on a daily basis is one of the most valuable practices you can adopt. Understanding that you are surrounded by a network of support, both physically and spiritually will carry you into the next phase of your divine purpose.
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Welcome to to spiritual mamas. I am Shelby. And this is Alisha. And today is episode 16. And we are going to talk to you guys about forgiveness, this huge giant topic. But so so so so important in your healing in the world's healing and global healing forgiveness that with a big F. So we have so much to say that we were going to do two episodes about forgiveness. 

Today's episode will be geared on forgiving others. And we have a beautiful prayer at the end of the our chat to apply to your daily practice or weekly practice. And then we're gonna do another episode about forgiving yourself. So similar, but so different. There's so many layers to navigate, you know, we're such prismatic people and human beings that we just have to take a look at those parts that are maybe shadowed, maybe a little hidden, you've tucked away in the back corners of your spiral. Since there's no corners on a spiral, we've already established that but let's dive in a little bit.

Yeah, I love the feeling I get in my heart when I start to think about forgiveness because it's truly about loving kindness, and offering that healing not just to others, but major healing to the self to your own heart.

Right. Right. As we heal others, it's going to really assess and so let's go right in Carolyn Mays, we've talked about her so much. We love her work. She has written the anatomy of the Spirit. And she just is a beautiful woman but does a great job talking about forgiveness. And of course, this is sponsored by the heart chakra loving kindness, loving forgiveness.

Yeah, we'll dive into the chakras and how to move the energy through that too. But this quote by Carolyn Mace is so good.

It's so powerful. So it's a little paraphrase, but we'll go right into it. So forgiveness, it's about loving yourself enough to care about your own healing. In forgiving others, you let go of the wounds so they no longer can damage you. Our wounds do not hurt the people who have hurt us. They only hurt us. So let's just pause there. I mean, how powerful is that? You're holding on to your resentment you're holding on to your frustration and your your you did that to me, you hurt me.

And you're looping in that story and re invigorating that neural pathway and, and reliving it, you're practicing it over and over. Yeah. And the other person is like a lotta moving on with their life. They may not know. Yeah, no, no. And you know, maybe energetically they feel a jab here or there. But like, No, this is a thing we do to ourselves. So forgiving another person. Doesn't mean you forgot. It doesn't mean what they did was okay. It just means you're detaching. And detachment is the big word here. You're releasing the attachment to the wounds. You're we always joke about it in my circle of friends. You're taking the rocks out of your backpack. Yeah. 

How many rocks are in your backpack? From past traumas. And you put that back back on every day, right? What are you carrying around with you?

Oh my gosh, you know, and I mean, how many people have you run into Alicia that they start talking? into and you're like, Wow, you are so settled into the weight of your backpack, you're not even ready to take a rock out, because that would imbalance you and then you would feel so when you feel unstable.

It's true. A lot of people put their own identity into being a victim, or those stories of what people have done to them, or what they've been through really painting the picture for their current present state, and how they're going to move forward.
Absolutely. And that we've talked about in previous episodes, it's like a normal pathway of our current culture, is to be a victim is to say, Well, that happened to me. 

And that happened to me. And that happened to me, versus the divine happenstance, the way that everything does happen for a reason. And not to be cliche with that. But you don't want to fear the unknown. This is again, Carolyn mace. All things hold spiritual insight. All things hold spiritual insight. And, yes, absolutely. Traumatic events, it's hard to look at and say, Well, that was so spiritually insightful. So you know, you have to take a deep breath in some of those things. But ultimately, look, look at the stories you hear of how people have overcome really tragic car accidents, or, you know, what am I trying to say things that just happened to us?

Yeah, we talked about that a lot in the last episode, because it's just a huge part of our perspective for our current state.

So loving, what happens to you unconditionally? Even if it's traumatic? Yes, do the work to get through the trauma. Yeah, but the forgiveness is really a big part of it. To release that attachment, and to allow yourself to be free. So let's talk about that beautiful quote, I was reading this is a whole I'm jumping to another author here, Louis Smedes. And he says to forgive is to set a prisoner free, and then discover that the prisoner was you. Yes.

That that's the thing. That's why we have to break this episode down into two parts, because releasing others from your own responsibility. Yeah, the negativity that you hold against them, is actually freeing you up and freeing your heart from the negativity you're holding within you those rocks. Yeah.

Yeah. It goes along, and I'm not trying to diverge us. But the same thing with soul contracts, like a soul contract, you can solve your part of a soul contract and the other person I can we hear the drilling, it's a lot of drilling. There's a lot of drilling. Okay, so there's a bathroom renovation happening.

Real life happening? Yep, there's real life. So we're gonna forgive the plumber. It's a part of it. This, this is a work in progress. Okay, so we're doing a little bit of construction right now on our souls. Power Tools. And I love using this exact example, in my meditations, anytime I'm working really hard at focusing and you're like, Oh, my God, this sound in the background, but it is reminding us that there are distractions, there are challenges and we just keep going. We just keep forward.

Everything is perfect. Even the drill. Except my teenagers are like, Really, Mom, we can't even sleep. It's a noon guys. Get up? Oh my gosh, okay, real life. I forgot what we were talking about.

I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you. But yes, that was the I mean, we're this whole episode is about forgiving others, but really, the healing is within yourself. And you're also getting all the benefits that you think that you're releasing someone else from, you're, you're actually gaining all of that healing within? Absolutely.
I mean, think about this space, you know, we go back to the rock analogy, like, think about the space you're gonna have in your backpack. When you take the rocks out that the light pressure, release the lightness and you say, oh, then you can have a conscious choice. I would like to put this in my backpack, you know, instead of those things that happened to me, like the overflowing cup that you really can't fit any more into your cup if you're already overflowing with resentment and all of these victim thinking thoughts. Absolutely. 

So, let's talk a little bit about the heart chakra because this is where forgiveness really comes from. If you have been listening to our episodes, we or no are aware of the seven chakras. The heart is that fourth one so I was mentioning to Alicia I think of the heart as the bridge. 

The top three chakras are more of the cosmic, the ethereal, the connection to the intuition, the divine, you know, they are the upward chakras, where the bottom three chakras are the root chakras. It's about how you're seeing in society, what your family what your you're grounded, you're home, you know, your creativity, you're who you are as a human. And then you have that bridge in the middle of this beautiful green heart chakra, this emanating love kindness, just a beautiful source. 

But it's also can be a bit very painful, chakra, if we, again allow that victimization. So shifting, and I know you guys, this is some really deep stuff, if there's a traumatic event in your life, and you have to sit and forgive. It's a it's a mindset, it's a lifestyle change. It's a trust in the divine to say, I forgive you, for you know, it's a it's a Jesus Christ moment is that I forgive you for you. I don't remember exactly. 

All the people that know this for you, they do not know what they do, is it something like that? He said, you know, in, sometimes there's just a lack of consciousness. In people, they're stuck in a lower vibration. And they really, truly, I mean, I'm not saying people can do whatever the hell they want and be forgiven. But there really is a lack of awareness to how their actions affect others. And it could be some, like, teenage renegade thing. I mean, we were just talking about this beautiful story. 

This is in the Emotion Code, where I just got that quote from Dr. Bradley Nelson. And he talks about a woman who got in a really bad car accident because some kids were throwing frozen frozen turkey off the Interstate bridge. And her whole story after that it wasn't revenge, it wasn't send this 19 year old kid to jail for 30 years, it was how can I help this child who's clearly just a child and made a mistake, and he was being stupid. And yes, I had to have life changing trauma, like literally surgeries, and she almost died. But she forgave him and then pushed forward, like, go to Christ harder to make sure he was okay. And he got the help and the counseling, he needed to live a fruitful life, instead of sending him to jail. And I just, I wish the world could be more like that. So come on world.

And it begins with us, it starts with each and every one of us looking at when we felt wronged when you felt like someone was being stupid, or inconsiderate, or they just didn't know what they were doing. Or they did know what they were doing. And they were being malicious. I mean, that's, that's really hard sometimes to forgive when you know, someone was intentionally trying to hurt you. And they have been hurt in their life. Exactly, they were raised in a way that was so hurtful that they felt like they needed to act out and, and put that on other people. 

So having compassion, seeing how they just need love, and feeling that love within doesn't it feel so good. When you love others, like you just benefit from that heart chakra opening the illumination within. And if you can love someone who has had trauma and has acted out of that trauma and caused pain for you or someone else, and still love them. I know, I've done this before. And I know people did this a lot in the last presidency just won't even go into it. 

But we have teachers that are really, really difficult for us to love. But sometimes putting that a photo of someone on your altar that you want to forgive or that you want to send love to just knowing that you're going to feel better, and that that frequency that you put out into the world will create some sort of healing or help. It might be slow, you might not see it directly. But the universe works in mysterious ways. And it will bring that healing to who needs it. 

And it's just a beautiful practice to get into sharing that forgiveness and love out in the world. So this is probably the perfect time to mention the whole pono pono prayer and it's a Hawaiian word. It translates into English as correction or to put to write, to put in order and it's also a mental cleansing because the whole pono pono prayer is about forgiveness and love.

Yes. And so heart centered. Forgiveness heart centered love. Recognizing, yeah, recognizing that we don't have to know why things happen to us or, or look for the explanation. It's just to say the words, almost a thank you. Right? Thank you for having it happened to me. You know, like you were just saying these people, these teachers, we have, you know, I hear stories of some of my kids, they say, Oh, Mom, this teacher is so difficult. And it's like, you have to be able to thank them for presenting that to you that difficulty that this is not a resignation that I have, or, you know, this is, this is what I don't like. 

And so the even that contrast is the helpful thing for us to see within what we want and what we don't want. Yes. And so that's clarity. So even if it's thanking them for the gift of clarity, you know, but upon upon a prayer says, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And it's so short and simple. Those four parts, I'm sorry, forgiving yourself, I'm sorry. First, that's the very first step. I'm sorry for even thinking this of you. I'm sorry for being so stuck in this resentment. I'm sorry for anything I did to cause this. And we'll get to that element more in the second half of part two of this episode. Right. But please forgive me. 

And adding I love you at the end, the whole pono pono prayer was what got me through my first divorce. To be able to say I'm sorry for anything that I did, please forgive me. Thank you, I love you. And I didn't say this to his face, or to his new wife, that is part of the reason why we're got our divorce. But I forgave her and I forgave him. And I said, Thank you, because my life went in a completely different way. And I love my life. 

And I wouldn't have thought that that crazy twist and turn was anything that I wanted at the time. But I can look back and say thank you. So I had to say this prayer, so many times to get that internal healing and feel that forgiveness towards him. And her. And the, the I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you came out pretty nasty. At first, I was like, using that F bomb in my head. I was like, effing love you, you know, like, Oh my God. But eventually it calmed down. And it's a process. So this healing and this is not an instantaneous thing. It's not like, oh, I said it once. And it's done. Like, this is a chant. This is a repetitive prayer that you can just kind of get lost in the repetition of it, because it will be the balm to your soul that really does soothe and, and smooth out that wrinkle of resentment and pain. And, and it's very healing.

I agree. And I have said this prayer, I actually sing it when we do our ceremonies. And I, we probably say it 20 times over and over and over. And by the 15th time you're sobbing because each time you say I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank you like the thank you is where I used to get incredibly emotional because I shift from You did this to me to thank you. 

Thank you for doing that to me, thank you for showing up in my life. And allowing me to see this allowing me allowing for being the mirror that I had to look in. It was difficult. It was like a rock tumbling experience. It was not joyful. But thank you. Because here I am on the other side. Still crawling out of the birth canal sometimes still, like give me one more Bush, come on, you know, but thank you because look at where I am today. And then I love you and like that I got full body chills right now. 

Sending that love to the person. It's like this cocoon of I love you. And as you do that, you release that attachment. And there's no more negative cording. There's no more dark strands of attachment and nasty like connection. It's just I love you. And
it's like just clarity and clarity and it's so powerful. Yeah. And then you start again and you say it again and you say it again and you say it again.

And you heal those layers every time you say getting deeper and deeper.

Yeah. And so, I mean, I still hear this echoing in my mind of like, How the heck can you forgive people for doing the terrible things? But what is your alternative? Let's talk about that. The alternative is to sit in the muck to sit in that negative. This happened to me, this happened to me, why did this happen to me, and it just hurts you more and more.

So going back to the bridge of the heart, like you, you pull up from the wounds, and you go into the forgiveness and the love and the kindness and, and you stop questioning and you rise up into the fifth and sixth and seventh chakras where you speak your mind you speak your truth, you you listen back and connect to the intuition, you trust the divine, and you are able to receive that it is just the divine knowing what was supposed to happen. And again, that's so hard to say about some of these things in life. 

But I think that there's been a lot of trauma in human history. I mean, I don't think I know, we all know this, you will look at it any history book. And that's not even the half of it. They don't even talk about it. So you know that there's these karmic resolutions that we're all trying to unravel and resolve in each human life that's in existence right now. So So I guess to unwind from big stuff, you kind of have to go through big stuff sometimes. But you know, when something really shy, wanted, we didn't say in our last episode about unconditional love, but I've been learning recently, that what you don't learn through love, the old saying was you learn through like trauma, or you learn through pain. 

And we need to shift that what you don't learn from love, you learn from unconditional love. I love that. And so this is this example is unconditional. I love you. You hurt me, but I love you. I love you. I forgive you. Yeah, thank you. And, you know, I'm sorry. Yeah, because a lot of times, when someone hurts us, we've also hurt them. And, and that will be episode two, part two, even I'm sorry for hanging on to this for so long, like people wait until their deathbeds to forgive members. 

And I think that's why in the Polynesian culture, they've invented this whole pono pono prayer and the practices to actually do the cleansing and clearing to actually correct the problem through communication and through love. And it is an amazing healing practice, especially within families, they're in the Polynesian islands. So I love that both Shelby and I've found this prayer and used it ourselves in different ways, and that we're able to share it with all of you, if you haven't heard of it. Wikipedia has a good explanation of the history of it. But it's in a lot of new age. You know, card decks like the one Shelby has, and I've just I've sung it in, in chorus with people in all different workshops and festivals and events, and it's just such a beautiful healing.
I think there's even like courses, you could like pono pono courses. I've seen it online. 

There's books. Yeah. Yeah, it's fantastic. And I really do believe it's the shift that we need. I think this is the new F word.

Forgiveness. I think this is also one of our number one tools for healing the big stuff like this. It's I mean, unconditional love. And this is the practice of it. Yeah,
absolutely. So Alana Fairchild is the author of that or it's an earth warriors, Oracle deck. It's such a beautiful deck. And I wanted to tell you this, because I didn't tell you yet. I saved it for the podcast, because we talked about the Oracle deck set and you know, how do the cards jump out at us? 

Right. So I had done a reading with my couple friends over last night, it was so too beautiful moonrise and out on the deck and spraying in the grass is green. And we had done a reading of the animal cards earlier because we had all those bats flying around. So usually I just do a one card reading and it just jumped out I did three cards. So later in the evening, I was shuffling this deck a lot as deck and well, it's my deck but and I had picked the two and I'm like shuffling and shuffling. I'm like, when's this third card gonna jump out? And you're not gonna believe this, but they're I can't even believe it. But like, I don't know, maybe eight cards kind of came out of the deck in the fanfare in that like shoe that spread and it was like perfectly in my hand and I just said whoa. And I looked at my friends and said I guess you're supposed to choose from this I think it was just hilarious. Yeah, look at it, like what the heck, this has never happened. And so and it was she who rests creates. And that was the card that they chose. And I was like, yes, because we're coming off of what is the energy, the

Oh, the it was the area's new Baron. And it was just a lot of intensity these last couple weeks and that was the episode before this additional one that we did because we're like, okay, pulling out all the tools, we got to figure out how to stay centered in the, in the intense energy and it is gonna mellow out with. 

We're in tourist season right now. But it's going to continue to mellow out and you know, it's in cycles. And before we end this episode, and say check on part two, because we're going to dive deeper into forgiving your ceiling, oh, we want to invite you to our moon circle, because that that's a big place that we talk about the cycles, and how we move through and heal with the different energies. So those are on Wednesday nights, every other Wednesday night closest to the new and full moon. So the next one is May 12. And then after that, it'll be May 26. So join us in virtual zoom wetland and enjoy some more conversation around these topics. And well just to wrap up the forgiveness, and the she who rests because obviously I said that for a very good reason. Didn't know until this moment. 

But think about again, go back to your rocks, as you forgive. And as you shift into gratitude, the pressure release the letting go the available space, you know all of the analogies you can think of. It becomes yours you get to step into your own light and you get to stop sending energy to somebody else because you're still pissed at them. You know, sorry. But because you're just like I have to hold this resentment in this grudge against this person. 

You wake up every day and the in those your first thoughts. It's like no, I released that. And then you become sovereign in your own energetic space in your heart becomes brighter, and then your connection to the divine becomes more clear and your connection to the earth also because you're grounded in who you are. Not who someone did to you, or thinks you are. Yep, yeah. Yeah.

So blessings to that pono pono prayer and forgiving others and stepping into the light that all things hold spiritual insights. Thank you Carolyn mace for that.

Thank you all for listening. We love you. We're sorry. Please forgive us.
And we thank you.