Speaker 1: Hey, what up?
Speaker 1: It's Mark Carter.
Speaker 1: I'm the pastor of Fierce Church.
Speaker 1: Welcome to our podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm so pumped that you're able to join us today.
Speaker 1: I hope this encourages you, inspires you, strengthens you, gives you hope to keep pressing on, and it's my prayer that this sermon gives you a more expansive view of God's love for you.
Speaker 1: Enjoy the message.
Speaker 1: There's a man by the name of Arthur Schopenhauer.
Speaker 1: He's dead now.
Speaker 1: He was alive in the early 19th century.
Speaker 1: He was a philosopher and he was a pessimist.
Speaker 1: You could tell he said this quote.
Speaker 1: He's talking about the human race and how we're all kind of like porcupines that bunch together but then hurt each other.
Speaker 1: The colder it gets outside, the more we huddle together for warmth, but the closer we get to one another, the more we hurt one another with our sharp quills and in the lonely night of earth's winter, eventually we begin to drift apart and wander out on our own and freeze to death in our loneliness.
Speaker 1: Jeez, you can tell Pessimism.
Speaker 1: That name suits him, and there's ways, though, that he's right a little bit.
Speaker 1: You can't be around people for too long without running into somebody else's quills.
Speaker 1: Anybody know what that feels like, and it can be so bad that I don't know that.
Speaker 1: I want to be around more people if there's that kind of danger.
Speaker 1: But thanks to Jesus Christ, jesus Christ has the antidote to other people's quills, and even the antidote to our quills hurting other people, and that is called forgiveness.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about forgiveness today.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about the process of forgiveness and the decision of forgiveness.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to preach until I run out of time.
Speaker 1: This is going to be like let's work it in, man, we're going to massage this thing in.
Speaker 1: So I just want you to open your heart.
Speaker 1: I know that everybody who's watching, everybody who's listening later on, we've all got pain.
Speaker 1: We've all got places that people we didn't expect ended up hurting us.
Speaker 1: We didn't see it coming and now we're kind of angry, now we're kind of hard and we think about them and we harden our heart and we're very you've heard the phrase before and we harden our heart and we're very you've heard the phrase before as we operate in unforgiveness.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like drinking poison hoping someone else will die, and it's poisoning our souls.
Speaker 1: But you've been there.
Speaker 1: You've been hurt by people that were dishonest.
Speaker 1: They didn't take responsibility for the things that they were supposed to.
Speaker 1: They were ones who they just keep doing the same thing over and over and you tell them about it and there's like a maybe a little bit of an I'm sorry, but they don't end up staying sorry because they do it again and again.
Speaker 1: Or maybe maybe you were neglected by them and you didn't, you didn't think you deserve that.
Speaker 1: Or maybe you were rejected by them.
Speaker 1: Or maybe even if you weren't rejected, it feels like you were rejected.
Speaker 1: Maybe they didn't even mean to, but they should have thought about it a little bit deeper and that thing is staying with you.
Speaker 1: Maybe they didn't listen, maybe you just couldn't get them to hear you.
Speaker 1: You tried to get their attention again and again and again, but for some reason their ears just wouldn't open up.
Speaker 1: That's probably true for everybody within the sound of my voice.
Speaker 1: The flip side is also true.
Speaker 1: That's probably true for everybody within the sound of my voice.
Speaker 1: The flip side is also true.
Speaker 1: The truth is, we've done all those things to many people, and often us not even being aware of it necessarily.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we're just carelessly flowing through life, doing our own thing in our own little tunnel, and people get hurt around us.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's carelessness, sometimes we're just reacting too fast.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's an emotional outburst, but somewhere along the line you've hurt people and people have hurt you, and that's why we need Jesus's antidote so bad today.
Speaker 1: And here's one of the worst things about it.
Speaker 1: Jesus offers us this help to forgive, but it hurts him so much when we don't take him up on it, because Jesus came to not only forgive us, but to release us, to forgive other people.
Speaker 1: Now the devil, he's not going to miss an opportunity here.
Speaker 1: You're a spiritual enemy.
Speaker 1: He's going to do everything he can to keep you bitter.
Speaker 1: He's going to do everything he can to shut you down and keep you away from the very people, probably, who bring a lot of good into your life If you give them another shot, if you start over with them, maybe he destroys families, he destroys churches.
Speaker 1: He destroys so much through bitterness and unforgiveness and we need to do some deep work.
Speaker 1: Today we're going to start in Matthew 18.
Speaker 1: This is a scripture unit of Jesus teaching about relationships.
Speaker 1: You know he can't get too far without talking about bitterness and unforgiveness.
Speaker 1: Here's your first point Forgiveness is a decision.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness, at the end of the day, guys like it's not just a feeling, it is a decision to forgive.
Speaker 1: It is where we say I'm allowing you to let go of your obligation to do anything to make this up to me.
Speaker 1: I'm deciding you do not have to pay your debt, not about anything, and you'll never have to From here on out.
Speaker 1: I'm removing this from the ledger.
Speaker 1: You are released from ever having to do anything about this.
Speaker 1: Now, what happens when we don't spiritually give Jesus?
Speaker 1: This is the point he wants to make.
Speaker 1: Matthew 21,.
Speaker 1: He's telling the story of a king very similar to the manager we talked about last weekend, but it's a parable.
Speaker 1: And he says Peter starts it off.
Speaker 1: He comes to Jesus and asks Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me?
Speaker 1: Seven times.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 1: If anyone has ever tapped your inner Peter, you probably know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just say things to sound like you're deep and spiritual and I just imagine I don't know for sure, but I feel like Peter's saying this in front of everyone because, like seven times Lord, because that's a lot, most folks would probably only do three, but I'm Peter and I'll do seven.
Speaker 1: And Jesus is like Peter no, bravo, but no seven.
Speaker 1: And Jesus is like Peter no, bravo, but no, not seven times, but 70 times seven, which just means indefinitely.
Speaker 1: You just keep on forgiving again and again, and again.
Speaker 1: Therefore, the kingdom of heaven he's going to describe the kingdom again.
Speaker 1: The kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him.
Speaker 1: Very similar to last week.
Speaker 1: Only this the money isn't talents, it's forgiveness In the process.
Speaker 1: One of his debtors, who was brought in, who owed him millions of dollars he couldn't pay.
Speaker 1: So the master ordered that he be sold, along with his wife, his children and everything he owned, to pay the debt.
Speaker 1: Somebody has to pay this debt.
Speaker 1: But the man fell down.
Speaker 1: He couldn't pay.
Speaker 1: So his master or sorry, but the man fell down.
Speaker 1: He couldn't pay.
Speaker 1: But the man fell down before the master and begged please be patient with me and I will pay it all.
Speaker 1: Then the master was filled with pity for him and released him and forgave his debt.
Speaker 1: The master was filled with pity.
Speaker 1: Isn't that amazing?
Speaker 1: Let's just pause for a minute and recognize your God is filled with pity when he sees us.
Speaker 1: It's not like a, like a ew kind of a pity, it is a I see you and there's nothing you can do about your horrible situation, and I know you even caused it, and yet my compassion overflows, god says, and I'm just going to.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I'm going to absorb the cost.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to allow you to not have to do anything else about this.
Speaker 1: And he released him and forgave his debt.
Speaker 1: But when the man left the king he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
Speaker 1: His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time.
Speaker 1: Be patient with me and I'll pay it.
Speaker 1: He pleaded.
Speaker 1: But his creditor wouldn't wait.
Speaker 1: He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt would be paid in full.
Speaker 1: When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset.
Speaker 1: They went to the king and told him everything that had happened.
Speaker 1: The king called in the man he had forgiven and said you, evil servant, I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me.
Speaker 1: Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?
Speaker 1: Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
Speaker 1: That is how my heavenly father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters after from your heart.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness is a decision.
Speaker 1: Unforgiveness hurts those in your body.
Speaker 1: Did you notice that when some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset?
Speaker 1: See, unforgiveness doesn't just hurt us, it hurts the people around us.
Speaker 1: It hurts the people that are watching, because when you're growing more bitter, people feel that they see that.
Speaker 1: They see that in your interactions, they see you when that name comes up and how you tense up, how you talk about them and the way that their name is not safe in your mouth, they hear it.
Speaker 1: If you're around young ones, if you've got kids in the house and you've got a bitter household, my friends, don't think for a second that that's not going to affect other people.
Speaker 1: What's it going to do?
Speaker 1: If you've got a very rigid don't anybody do anything wrong against me ever again.
Speaker 1: If you've got that kind of an attitude that's going to lead those around you to have a low estimation of themselves because they're going to know secretly, even though they can't make a mistake around you, they're going to know that they do make mistakes.
Speaker 1: They're just going to be afraid and they're going to be isolating from you because they don't want to make a mistake around you.
Speaker 1: They're going to be afraid always, but they're also going to be those who instantly judge others quicker, because they heard mom or dad do it or they heard brother or sister do it.
Speaker 1: We got to understand that our unforgiveness as understandable as it might be, it definitely hurts other people.
Speaker 1: It robs peace from every place.
Speaker 1: It also I mean, you guys know this you know, when you've been around a really harsh person who doesn't totally know that they're harsh, you know that you tend to like take the other hallway around them.
Speaker 1: You don't draw near to them.
Speaker 1: People dodge them because they're a harsh person.
Speaker 1: And yet there's places we might be a little bit more harsh than we think and people are dodging us.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about what forgiveness isn't.
Speaker 1: It's not agreeing.
Speaker 1: It's not affirming the evil that was done.
Speaker 1: It's not saying that's fine, no, go ahead.
Speaker 1: It's not saying this was good.
Speaker 1: It's not enabling.
Speaker 1: It's not cooperating.
Speaker 1: It's not helping anybody make any further mistakes.
Speaker 1: It's not just pretending that's okay, that's fine, and I know I feel sorry for you, so I'm going to help you.
Speaker 1: Keep doing it.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness doesn't require me to help a person do the same things I've forgiven them for already.
Speaker 1: There's a fantastic scene in Batman Begins where Batman is having the final battle with one of his mentors, ra's al Ghul, and this guy is the one who taught him a lot about fighting.
Speaker 1: But Ra's al Ghul was always telling him hey, bruce, look, man, you've got to be able to kill people.
Speaker 1: If you really want to cleanse the world of evil, you've got to kill them.
Speaker 1: Well, it turns out Ra's al Ghul's the bad guy and Batman's got him down on his back.
Speaker 1: And Ra's al Ghul says Are you finally willing to do it?
Speaker 1: Are you finally able to now go all the way and kill me, because that's what you should do?
Speaker 1: Essentially is what he's saying.
Speaker 1: And Batman, of course, says because you know, batman doesn't kill people, at least the real Batman doesn't.
Speaker 1: He doesn't kill people.
Speaker 1: He says I'm not going to kill you, but I don't have to save you.
Speaker 1: And then he flies out and dies on the train.
Speaker 1: He caused all this problem.
Speaker 1: He causes the problem that kills him.
Speaker 1: Sometimes people in our lives are causing the problems that are killing them, but we stick around for some reason.
Speaker 1: We're trying to save them from that, then allow that train to crash.
Speaker 1: And, my friends, that's not helpful.
Speaker 1: It keeps them from.
Speaker 1: What does it do?
Speaker 1: It keeps people from learning responsibility.
Speaker 1: See, when someone has a responsibility and we get them out of the responsibility, all that teaches them is I don't need to be responsible If someone's bad with money and we keep giving them more money.
Speaker 1: All it teaches them is don't worry about money because someone's going to come along and take care of it for you.
Speaker 1: When someone is around, someone that is very toxic for them to be around, and you just say nothing and you say, oh, don't worry, none of my business.
Speaker 1: What you're teaching by your silence is that's fine, that's normal, that should be expected Instead of that's bats and you need to do whatever you need to do to get away from that.
Speaker 1: When we keep kids, maybe, from fulfilling their responsibilities, parents, what you're teaching them is you don't need to be responsible, but you also fail to develop a sense of responsibility in the kid.
Speaker 1: That's what's supposed to ultimately happen.
Speaker 1: They feel responsible themselves.
Speaker 1: They know what they're supposed to do.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness does include letting go.
Speaker 1: It does include erasing a debt.
Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily now.
Speaker 1: This might be a little controversial.
Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily mean now.
Speaker 1: This might be a little controversial.
Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily mean you trust them again, or instantly.
Speaker 1: Sometimes people have caused tremendous pain and they can be genuinely sorry and we can genuinely say you do not have to pay that back to me.
Speaker 1: I release you of that obligation.
Speaker 1: And yet I'm not stupid.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to put myself around something that might potentially hurt me because they haven't really grown, they haven't really changed.
Speaker 1: They're sorry, but they're not doing anything differently, right?
Speaker 1: So if you've got a brother that comes to the Thanksgiving dinner every year drunk and ends up making a big scene and wrecking somebody's car, and that happens for three years in a row, honey, you can forgive them all day.
Speaker 1: But if you invite them on the fourth year, something wrong with you Because old boy can't hold his liquor and he can't keep cars safe.
Speaker 1: So we don't.
Speaker 1: You don't have to trust.
Speaker 1: Someone has to earn trust back.
Speaker 1: Guys, when they've hurt you really, really bad, they need to demonstrate that they've changed.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that you're mean to them.
Speaker 1: It just means you're not putting them back in a place where your heart can be ripped in half again and again and again.
Speaker 1: That is not what God is asking you to do when he asks you to forgive people.
Speaker 1: And what do we see?
Speaker 1: Unforgiveness leads to a tortured life.
Speaker 1: Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured, and there's a prison of sorts that we fall into when we don't forgive.
Speaker 1: There's an emotional prison that we're in.
Speaker 1: There's a place where we're stuck in the past.
Speaker 1: We're not moving forward with a clean slate into the new realms that God wants to put us.
Speaker 1: Instead, we're stuck where we are, or at least where we're going is way harder to do.
Speaker 1: Years ago I saw a gal over on 83.
Speaker 1: She was probably walking from Meijer that's where I deduced she was or Jewel.
Speaker 1: Down there she had these heavy grocery bags, plastic ones, and she's carrying them and, man, they looked like they were 25 pounds each.
Speaker 1: I mean, they were heavy.
Speaker 1: I'm like that bag is going to rip and she's on the side of 83.
Speaker 1: There's not like a sidewalk or anything, she's just she's moseying down and you know, dude, she's like half a mile at least away from a store.
Speaker 1: I'm like I don't know how long old girls got to go, but that looks really heavy and it reminded me.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we're that gal.
Speaker 1: We're carrying around the hurts, the pains, the unforgivenesses, the places we're holding people hostage, even though they don't know or care that they're being held hostage.
Speaker 1: How many bags are you carrying today about stuff that no one remembers but you.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's not even just bags.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we got to open up the trunk and put a lot in and that's the only way we get anywhere, and for some of us it's been so long.
Speaker 1: The truth is, you probably got a U-Haul full of stuff that baby.
Speaker 1: You don't need to keep paying for that.
Speaker 1: You can just throw that stuff out.
Speaker 1: That's slowing you down, it's not speeding you up.
Speaker 1: What do we do?
Speaker 1: We decide right now that I'm going to forgive, and when I decide that, I instantly begin to untangle myself from the darkness that unforgiveness pulls me into.
Speaker 1: See, unforgiveness.
Speaker 1: Here's the dirty secret.
Speaker 1: Unforgiveness changes me.
Speaker 1: It doesn't get back at them.
Speaker 1: It just makes me worse.
Speaker 1: It just makes me a darker thing.
Speaker 1: It makes me less like my God.
Speaker 1: What should we do instead?
Speaker 1: We should take a look at it.
Speaker 1: We should take a look at the lessons and say I thank God for the lesson.
Speaker 1: I thank God that I learned that.
Speaker 1: I thank God that I'm not going to be duped that easy ever again.
Speaker 1: I thank God that sweet.
Speaker 1: Now I know not to get involved with that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Now I know not to trust people with that.
Speaker 1: Or when people come along and they say this I'm going to know, not really.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 1: Thank God for the lesson.
Speaker 1: I'm moving on.
Speaker 1: That's all I needed.
Speaker 1: All I needed was the lesson.
Speaker 1: I don't need the groceries, I don't need the bag, I don't need the luggage.
Speaker 1: I don't need the baggage.
Speaker 1: And when we do that, doors begin to open in our lives.
Speaker 1: Suddenly there's new opportunities, there's new things that we can do, because our heart is just not so tiny anymore.
Speaker 1: What can we do?
Speaker 1: We can trust again.
Speaker 1: We can love again.
Speaker 1: There are other good people out there.
Speaker 1: There's people who can love and even people that have hurt you very much.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's the forgiving of a relationship that was wounded that makes that relationship better than it ever could have been in the past, because now you rightly understand one another.
Speaker 1: Now you know, oh, you have a shadow and it's real.
Speaker 1: And the other one knows, oh, I have a shadow and it's real.
Speaker 1: Let's, instead of trusting that we're just gonna be true blue love forever, let's trust in God instead of one another, because it's the fear of God that keeps people safe, not their own great intentions.
Speaker 1: Why don't we go ahead and forgive?
Speaker 1: Here's why Because your heart is worth it.
Speaker 1: If you don't forgive, your heart is damaged.
Speaker 1: What amount of money could you pay to just get a clear heart again where you never have to think about that, you never have to have pain, a twinge of pain, every time you think about them?
Speaker 1: Whatever you would pay, it'd be a ripoff Like it'd be a steal.
Speaker 1: You should do it, you should pay that, but you don't have to pay anything.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is say my heart is worth it, it's worth forgiving.
Speaker 1: Here.
Speaker 1: It's always going to be a choice.
Speaker 1: Here's some helpful news a little bit.
Speaker 1: God is never going to ask you to forgive somebody for more than he's forgiven you, for God has already forgiven you for way more than you will ever have to forgive anybody.
Speaker 1: Just like that master.
Speaker 1: And he's saying I know it's a couple thousand dollars, but I forgave you millions.
Speaker 1: Go ahead and forgive them.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness is a decision and forgiveness is a process.
Speaker 1: This is where we miss it a little bit sometimes.
Speaker 1: Sometimes in church circles, it's like forgive, forgive, forgive, and so we decide, okay, it's like forgive, forgive, forgive, and so we decide, okay, they're just forgiven and that's good.
Speaker 1: It was a decision, but it wasn't deep enough because we really didn't process it with the Lord enough.
Speaker 1: We didn't take the time to feel it, we didn't take the time to replace it with truth, and so we kind of become these emotionally vertigo people that I'm saying I forgive, but, dude, I'm kind of a wreck inside.
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to feel my feelings.
Speaker 1: So we decide.
Speaker 1: Ephesians 4, 31 and 32 says this get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.
Speaker 1: Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you.
Speaker 1: Notice that word.
Speaker 1: Forgiving, it's not just forgive once, it's keep forgiving, keep forgiving.
Speaker 1: You're going to run into more.
Speaker 1: Have you had to forgive today?
Speaker 1: Guess what You're going to have to forgive tomorrow again and again and again.
Speaker 1: But it is the way of life.
Speaker 1: If we'll make a decision and what does he say?
Speaker 1: To not do?
Speaker 1: Don't give in to bitterness.
Speaker 1: Bitterness is an acid heart.
Speaker 1: Bitterness is venom that is slowly poisoning your soul.
Speaker 1: Don't give in to wrath or rage.
Speaker 1: What is rage?
Speaker 1: Rage is when you kind of have a disproportional reaction to the situation.
Speaker 1: You're angry and maybe anger is appropriate, but everyone's like whoa, what was that?
Speaker 1: That's rage flying out Like some people when we drive.
Speaker 1: Anybody know about that.
Speaker 1: They're like, wow, that was a reaction that doesn't make sense with what just happened.
Speaker 1: That's rage.
Speaker 1: But if we're not careful, rage comes out of us because we're stewing on unforgiveness.
Speaker 1: What about harsh words?
Speaker 1: My friends, sometimes the best thing to do with someone that we're trying to forgive is try just not to talk about it.
Speaker 1: When they come up, when someone else brings them up, just think good thoughts in that person's direction.
Speaker 1: Oh God, bless them.
Speaker 1: We're talking about her again.
Speaker 1: Yikes Lord, help me not say anything that my flesh wants to say right now.
Speaker 1: Mal.
Speaker 1: Yikes Lord, help me not say anything that my flesh wants to say right now.
Speaker 1: Malice.
Speaker 1: Malice is having a bad heart towards somebody.
Speaker 1: Malice is when we're just dude.
Speaker 1: The truth is, you're just hanging on and you could let go.
Speaker 1: And I'm asking you today, in Jesus' name, to let go.
Speaker 1: Let go, that malicious heart is not helping you and it's not God's way.
Speaker 1: Let go.
Speaker 1: That malicious heart is not helping you and it's not God's way.
Speaker 1: And when it's hard to forgive, we do have to admit that it happened.
Speaker 1: We have to accept that it happened.
Speaker 1: We have to say my life doesn't get to be different than this.
Speaker 1: I can't go back in time and remove this thing from my life.
Speaker 1: Every way that God is going to bless me in the future includes this thing having happened, and in Jesus' name, I don't like it, but I trust that his will for my life can still be good.
Speaker 1: Even though that thing happened.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna try to get rid of it.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna try to like get past it in such a way that I have to like redeem whatever situation.
Speaker 1: That was perfectly Some of it.
Speaker 1: Dude, you can't entirely redeem or you definitely can't redeem it right now.
Speaker 1: Maybe God can redeem it over time.
Speaker 1: But, baby, you got to go on and you've got to accept that was part of my deal here.
Speaker 1: But God is still good and I'm going to still walk with it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to trust him with that difficulty.
Speaker 1: We admit that it happened, we admit I can't change this and we try to try to synchronize with God.
Speaker 1: One day I was, I'd been through kind of a difficult fight with a friend and we were going to meet at a restaurant and as I'm walking in, I was in one of those modes where you know when you just want to be right and you just want to like let me lay out for you all the ways I'm right and you're wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm sure when you finally see my perspective, you'll know how wrong you are.
Speaker 1: I was in that mental space and I'm walking into this restaurant to meet him and the Spirit of God comes upon me and he just lays on my heart.
Speaker 1: I meaning Jesus, I'm right, I'm right.
Speaker 1: And what he was saying was synchronize to me.
Speaker 1: Don't try to get him to synchronize to you.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: My friends, if you're a tuning fork and you're a little bit out of tune, everyone you try to tune to you is going to be out of tune.
Speaker 1: If I convince my friend to agree with me, the problem is, dude, I'm wrong about some things, as are you, as is he, as is everybody, except one person.
Speaker 1: Who is it?
Speaker 1: It's Jesus.
Speaker 1: So, if I can, just I'll tell you what, bro, you do, what you can to synchronize with Jesus.
Speaker 1: I'm going to synchronize with Jesus, but then you know what?
Speaker 1: We're gonna have the same tone because we're both synchronized with Jesus.
Speaker 1: And so the Lord said to me I'm right.
Speaker 1: And can I just suggest to you think about some of the people that have hurt you.
Speaker 1: And Can I just suggest to you think about some of the people that have hurt you and instead of defend yourself again.
Speaker 1: I'm so right.
Speaker 1: You're probably right about some things, but can we just own this?
Speaker 1: This is all humility.
Speaker 1: The only one who is right is God.
Speaker 1: The only one who sees that situation perfectly is God.
Speaker 1: The only one who knows exactly what everybody should have done is God, and he wants to use this situation to grow you, not show everybody how right you are, sorry.
Speaker 1: Wants to use this situation to grow you, not show everybody how right you are, sorry.
Speaker 1: That's not what he's probably trying to do.
Speaker 1: He's probably trying to grow you and maybe even grow a forgiving heart.
Speaker 1: So, as long as we don't forgive too fast and we take the time to stew on it, to bring it to Jesus.
Speaker 1: See, if we go too fast I know it sounds weird If we go too fast, somehow it disrupts the process when we haven't admitted that we're angry and that this thing hurt.
Speaker 1: But if we're really gonna have thorough forgiveness, it says right there, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you, we've gotta meditate on some realities.
Speaker 1: See, my friend, we change via truth.
Speaker 1: Jesus prayed.
Speaker 1: Sanctify them with your truth.
Speaker 1: Your word is truth.
Speaker 1: The word of God is what we need when we're hurt and wounded.
Speaker 1: It's not just we need to get over it, it's not that we need to be better people, it's not even just that we just need to pray.
Speaker 1: I wanna read to you some statements that are very theological in nature, meaning these are the things the Bible teaches about forgiveness and unforgiveness and what God wants to do with regard to it.
Speaker 1: You can know this, but until you let that thing down here by chewing on it again and again, it's not really going to help that you know it.
Speaker 1: Here's some things to ponder.
Speaker 1: Just listen, okay, get your person in your mind, or your people, whoever it is, and I just want to read these to you and think the thoughts I'm going to read in the direction of the people that hurt you.
Speaker 1: People do evil things to one another.
Speaker 1: That's what the Bible teaches you and I do evil things to people, purposely and accidentally.
Speaker 1: Often people don't understand the evil they do, and God is still good.
Speaker 1: Everyone has pain.
Speaker 1: Let that one sink in.
Speaker 1: I know you've got pain, but think about them for a second.
Speaker 1: They've got pain that you don't know about, and it may have influenced some of what they did know about, and it may have influenced some of what they did.
Speaker 1: Let's keep going.
Speaker 1: I too it's not just them I too am a sinner and God, he's not distant.
Speaker 1: He personally and relationally and emotionally, knows the pain of betrayal deeper than I ever will, and he shares my pain with himself.
Speaker 1: He shares it.
Speaker 1: I've been a recipient of radical grace, millions in the parable.
Speaker 1: It's reasonable that, as a recipient of that radical grace, I should demonstrate less radical but still radical grace toward others, if I truly appreciate the grace I've been shown.
Speaker 1: I'm not powerless.
Speaker 1: God gives me the power to withhold or grant forgiveness.
Speaker 1: It is a decision and it's in your power to do it.
Speaker 1: God still can have a good plan in store for my life, despite what that person did.
Speaker 1: God uses this kind of thing, this very thing, for my good and to make me more like him.
Speaker 1: And here's one more just think about it.
Speaker 1: God fulfills his plan for me, despite whatever anybody else ever did.
Speaker 1: God can't be stopped.
Speaker 1: Nobody can stop the plan of God on your life.
Speaker 1: And so how about?
Speaker 1: Instead, we tenderize our hearts.
Speaker 1: Here's what we do, here's what I mean by that.
Speaker 1: That means, as we can, we try, though, we practice it, we pray for that person when they come to mind, and it's we say, lord, I pray that they're happy.
Speaker 1: I pray that whatever needs to be corrected in them, that you correct it, like I'm asking you to do.
Speaker 1: That I would probably choose different things than you, jesus, but you know what they really need to be corrected about.
Speaker 1: So please correct them about that, lord.
Speaker 1: Take away their pain.
Speaker 1: They're hurting.
Speaker 1: Lead them to Jesus, the great comforter, and take away their pain.
Speaker 1: Fill me with love for them.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make sense to the world and God.
Speaker 1: Would you do me a favor?
Speaker 1: Make their dreams come true.
Speaker 1: That hurts to pray that kind of prayer.
Speaker 1: As you know, it hurts, but it hurts in a good way.
Speaker 1: Let it hurt because it will be healing the darkness that is in your and my heart.
Speaker 1: My friends, choosing to forgive is kind of like when we stop ringing the tower bell.
Speaker 1: We don't use tower bells, probably in everyday life, but you can imagine, you remember you've seen them at least somewhere in a show, somewhere Someone is ringing that bell and they've got to keep ringing it.
Speaker 1: They got the rope, they crawled up there and they're ringing it and ringing it Now, as long as they keep ringing it, it will keep resounding out into the air.
Speaker 1: It's only when they let go, and then time slows that thing down.
Speaker 1: They stopped pulling on it, they stopped yanking it and now the sound of it is getting less and less into the universe and slowly it's becoming still and quiet.
Speaker 1: Let go of that thing.
Speaker 1: Let go of that debt, not for their sake, for your sake, for all that God wants to do in your life and through your life.
Speaker 1: Let go of it and let it slowly begin to stop, and it will.
Speaker 1: Here's why Because you deserve to start again, man.
Speaker 1: You deserve a clean slate.
Speaker 1: You deserve to start life again without having to carry that, and you can Now.
Speaker 1: It's a tall order for you to live the rest of your life and no one's ever going to sin against you, ever again.
Speaker 1: That's not really reality, but it's supernatural.
Speaker 1: It's kingdom for you to spend the rest of your life, unlike the world that is so bitter right now.
Speaker 1: It's palpable.
Speaker 1: It's very kingdom for you and I to say I'm going to be a sign and a wonder on planet earth for however many days I've got left, I'm going to let justice be done by the king of justice and as for me.
Speaker 1: I'm going to pray for them.
Speaker 1: I'm going to believe it, even though I have to forgive them seven times every day.
Speaker 1: I'm going to keep doing it every day because I want what God has for me and I'm not going to let what they did rob me of it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to take it in Jesus' name and I'm going to develop a more Christ-like heart.
Speaker 1: Can somebody say amen?
Speaker 1: Here's the one more thing to know about it.
Speaker 1: It cost the master millions and he absorbed the cost.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons Jesus so cares about you and I forgiving others is because Jesus is the million dollars.
Speaker 1: He's the cost.
Speaker 1: He's what it costs for your debt to be erased.
Speaker 1: He's what it costs the father.
Speaker 1: He said I'll be it, I'll be the million dollars so they can never have to pay anything.
Speaker 1: I'll be the whole thing if you'll just forgive them, father.
Speaker 1: And the Father said no, I will.
Speaker 1: That's why I sent you, because he's the million dollars.
Speaker 1: That's why we should be so grateful that we are really trying hard, with his help, to forgive others.
Speaker 1: Let's pray.
Speaker 1: Ooh, toughie, lord.
Speaker 1: I know that this is not one that just goes away, because we heard a sermon on it, Jesus.
Speaker 1: But I know, holy Spirit that you are the sanctifier.
Speaker 1: You have made a commitment you are going to carry on a completion, the very good work that you began in each and every person that has named your name.
Speaker 1: Father, forgive us for not forgiving them, and, in Jesus' name, god, would you help us?
Speaker 1: We don't want the darkness in our heart.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna be easy For some of us.
Speaker 1: We've got these grocery bags, man, and we have just been carrying them for miles and miles and miles.
Speaker 1: Jesus, with your help, would you help us lay them down at the cross and trust that you'll take care of whatever's in there.
Speaker 1: God, would you help us to, instead of be carriers of these burdens, to help carry others' burdens and help them lay them down?
Speaker 1: In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1: Hey, thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 1: If you don't have a home church and you're looking for a Bible preaching community that has its heart set on passionately knowing Jesus and being His witness in our generation, check out Fierce Church.
Speaker 1: We'd love for you to join us either digitally or in person.
Speaker 1: Also, if you're looking for leadership development-related content, don't forget to check out the Fierce Leadership Podcast, available wherever you get your podcasts from.
Speaker 1: Special thanks to those of you who give generously to support this ministry.
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Speaker 1: Whatever challenges you're facing, I know you can make it.
Speaker 1: Don't give up.
Speaker 1: Hang on to Jesus.
Speaker 1: He won't let go of you.
Speaker 1: Jesus loves you so much and we love you.
Speaker 1: I hope someday we get to meet in person.
Speaker 1: Thanks again for listening.