Speaker 1: Great, all right.
Speaker 1: So, elena, we got there.
Speaker 1: I'm pumped to be here with you.
Speaker 1: I'm honored.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm really humbled because I don't know how Carter does this every week.
Speaker 1: When you're like reading scripture and you're learning it, it's like a mirror, not just a mirror to your imperfections, it's like a bright light mirror to how much you need Jesus.
Speaker 1: So I don't feel qualified to give you this message and so we're just going to rely on God to do the talking.
Speaker 1: Are you guys with me with that?
Speaker 1: All right, so we're going to talk about gospel-centered homes.
Speaker 1: Last week, annie talked about community, how to make our community all about Jesus, and when we're homes are about Jesus, when they're gospel-centered, is only going to impact our community better.
Speaker 1: But home is a unique opportunity to learn how to love, because you're with people that you care about hopefully care about a ton, but you're also with people that know you really well and have the opportunity to slightly annoy you at times, to give you opportunities to grow in patience, right, and so this is, I find, a hard topic.
Speaker 1: I have a great husband.
Speaker 1: I've got three little kids three, two and going to be four months and yesterday my two-year-old woke up and it was earlier than you want on a Saturday.
Speaker 1: And so I'm like you know what I just fed my daughter?
Speaker 1: I was awake.
Speaker 1: I'll take my two-year-old so my husband can, like, wake up slowly and you know I'll help him out.
Speaker 1: I didn't tell him that I was going to do this and I wanted him to be thankful for that right.
Speaker 1: So I go down and I'm hanging out with my two-year-old and my three-year-old wakes up and we're downstairs and my husband comes down and he's not grateful.
Speaker 1: He didn't tell me thank you, and I get a little irritated at him and he kind of notices Great start to Saturday.
Speaker 1: And he's like what's wrong?
Speaker 1: I forgot to mention he offered to take my two-year-old back into the room and put her back in the crib, lay down next to her, see if she'd go back to sleep.
Speaker 1: I forgot to mention that in more detail.
Speaker 1: I thought it wouldn't work.
Speaker 1: So I was like no, I'll just take her.
Speaker 1: So he's confused why I'm irritated at him.
Speaker 1: We talk about it and then he's like but I offered, like I offered to take care of her.
Speaker 1: And I'm like well, I just didn't think it would work.
Speaker 1: And you're right, you did offer.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why I'm irritated Like now that I and I had to.
Speaker 1: Like you know, I had to change my attitude and that was our beginning of our Saturday morning.
Speaker 1: I have three kids, love them, I love them so much.
Speaker 1: They also are learning how to like live and honestly like, not kill themselves, right, like they don't know how to do life, and so it requires a lot of patience and I thought I was patient On a scale of like one to 10 before kids I would have given myself like a five.
Speaker 1: You know, no, I don't.
Speaker 1: They are a reflection to me that I don't have as much patience as I thought and I need help with this.
Speaker 1: I need God's wisdom with this.
Speaker 1: I need God's word.
Speaker 1: Maybe for you, you have parents.
Speaker 1: They're great, you love them, but they made some decisions that you didn't totally agree with and sometimes you find yourself a little resentful to them and you need God's wisdom to know how to handle that.
Speaker 1: Or you have parents that have wronged you.
Speaker 1: I worked with teens before.
Speaker 1: I was a next step pastor and I worked with great families.
Speaker 1: I was a next step pastor and I worked with great families, great parents, but some parents failed at their job, some weren't around, some allowed abuse into their home.
Speaker 1: And you're here wondering if that's you, if you'd resonate with that.
Speaker 1: How do I reconcile that, like, how do I live that out as a Christian?
Speaker 1: And so we're going to dive into the book of Proverbs to get some insight.
Speaker 1: But I want to hold that for just a second, because we're going to dive into the book of Proverbs to get some insight.
Speaker 1: But I want to hold that for just a second, because we're going to talk about marriage, we're going to talk about parenting and we're going to talk how kids should treat their parents.
Speaker 1: And you might be tempted to tune out.
Speaker 1: You're online, you're here and you're like well, I'm not married, so I'm not going to listen to this.
Speaker 1: Another message about marriage.
Speaker 1: And I want to encourage you a couple things First.
Speaker 1: And I want to encourage you a couple things.
Speaker 1: First off, I understand how that feels.
Speaker 1: Back in the day, it wasn't that long ago, I would sit in these seats and I was single, wasn't married, wasn't a parent, and there was lots of messages about marriage and parenting and I always got something out of it because they were using God's Word.
Speaker 1: And God's Word listen to this was written for you, like you, specifically, right where you're at.
Speaker 1: It was written for you, so you would know God better, and there's a reason why he wants you to know about marriage and families, even if you don't have one of your own at the time.
Speaker 1: At this time, you're a part of a family.
Speaker 1: That's how we're all here, but like even if you're not married or a parent.
Speaker 1: So let that sink in.
Speaker 1: Also, the wisdom on relationships can be applied to whatever relationship you're a part of and, lastly, a lot of you will end up getting married someday and you will end up being a parent, and the knowledge you have now is going to go with you.
Speaker 1: There's no light bulb that turns on when you get married and become a spouse.
Speaker 1: When you have the baby, they let you take it home at the hospital and you're kind of like, don't I need to?
Speaker 1: Like, learn more lessons, and you figure it out.
Speaker 1: God gives you what you need in that moment, but also the habits and the maturity that you have now are what you bring, and so this will only help you if you're willing to listen.
Speaker 1: So with that, if I've convinced you all, this is all for you.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're wondering okay, so how do I start?
Speaker 1: Great question.
Speaker 1: I'll help you take your next steps because you know that's my role.
Speaker 1: I would suggest listening, but also join Bible Recap.
Speaker 1: As a church, we're going through this.
Speaker 1: And teenagers, if you're in here and you don't have Bible Recap, I wish this was around when I was a student.
Speaker 1: You can scan this QR code.
Speaker 1: It will take you to an app and it will give you the readings for the day.
Speaker 1: You don't have to stress about keeping up with it daily.
Speaker 1: Just try to make time on the regular.
Speaker 1: That habit's only going to help you if you get married or become a parent.
Speaker 1: Also, the recap part of Bible Recap helps you understand the context of what's going on, because sometimes you're like wait what?
Speaker 1: This isn't the Bible.
Speaker 1: Am I supposed to do this?
Speaker 1: And so you can check that out.
Speaker 1: You can watch the YouTube or the podcast or get the book.
Speaker 1: I can help you.
Speaker 1: I'd love to help you.
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of this.
Speaker 1: But since we don't have time to go through all of Bible Recap, we're going to dig into Proverbs, which, if you're doing Bible Recap, we read this week and I forgot how much wisdom is in Proverbs.
Speaker 1: As we learned in the recap part, it's not God's promises, it's God's wisdom that is in the book of Proverbs, and so it's general insight for how to help you love your family in your everyday life.
Speaker 1: Love God and love your family in everyday life.
Speaker 1: And it's a little humbling, as you will find out, because bottom line family dynamics are hard and God-given wisdom from the one who created us is how we can find the answers for how to love our families.
Speaker 1: I should have made that shorter.
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's a slide for that.
Speaker 1: It's okay, we're going to keep going.
Speaker 1: So first way that we are going to use God's wisdom is in our marriage, and we're going to look at the book of Proverbs, chapter 2, and we're going to read it together Proverbs, chapter 2.
Speaker 1: Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.
Speaker 1: Let's zoom in on that word covenant.
Speaker 1: Covenant means a binding agreement that you have made for a binding agreement that you've made in marriage.
Speaker 1: Marriage is a binding agreement.
Speaker 1: That's the covenant that we're talking about.
Speaker 1: So you might have heard people.
Speaker 1: You might have even said I don't need to get married to show somebody I love them and, honestly, if that's your view of getting married.
Speaker 1: You're right, you could just make them dinner, you could just like help them out today, but if you want to show them that you're committed to them, you need to get married, because that's what a marriage, a wedding license, is all about.
Speaker 1: And our first point is true love isn't a feeling, it's a covenant.
Speaker 1: See, if you go to a wedding, no matter religion or church or faith, you're going to hear them say vows, and when they're standing there and they're giving their vows, they might say a little bit of how they feel about that person, but the main thing they're going to say is I promise to be faithful to you, to be tender to you, to be considerate to you, despite circumstances, which translates to despite how I feel.
Speaker 1: And so that's why God intended for couples to get married to show that commitment which ultimately, as we're going to find, is showing the love of Jesus.
Speaker 1: True love isn't a feeling, it's a covenant.
Speaker 1: But that's not all God had in store when it came to marriage.
Speaker 1: Proverbs 18 says he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Speaker 1: So it's a good thing.
Speaker 1: Marriage is a gift and it's from God.
Speaker 1: He's the ultimate matchmaker.
Speaker 1: Singles, you don't have to stress about finding someone.
Speaker 1: You just got to keep your eyes up, keep following him.
Speaker 1: I would suggest coming to church.
Speaker 1: Worked for me, but it took a while, like yours, so keep coming.
Speaker 1: With that said, we continue to read in Proverbs, proverbs 5.
Speaker 1: May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth, a loving doe, a graceful deer.
Speaker 1: May her breast satisfy you always.
Speaker 1: May you ever be captivated by her love.
Speaker 1: Why be captivated by a son, by an adulteress?
Speaker 1: Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?
Speaker 1: Another radical thing that God had for marriage.
Speaker 1: See, people were reading this in the context where marriage was about marrying for your status.
Speaker 1: So you married somebody that helped your whole family move up in the status line and to have kids.
Speaker 1: But when it came to sexual pleasure, it was normal in that community, in that culture, to find it elsewhere.
Speaker 1: But God's plan for marriage was no, it's between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage, just between them, and they're supposed to enjoy it.
Speaker 1: Radical information.
Speaker 1: But we're not done there.
Speaker 1: It also says and this is in Proverbs, but I wanted to add it we just read Song of Solomon or Song of Songs, depending on what translation you're reading In Bible.
Speaker 1: Recap one of the verses in there is this is my beloved, this is my friend, daughter of Jerusalem, and that's what you find in Song of Solomon Just a couple that like each other, that are friends and they're enjoying romance.
Speaker 1: Right, that was God's plan, which another radical thing to say because in that culture, women had lowest status.
Speaker 1: And so for God to be like, hey, no, actually I want you guys to be like best friends and have fun and have romance just between the two of you was very different.
Speaker 1: Now, that was radical for the people that are reading this at that time.
Speaker 1: For us, we're like well, yeah, we know that.
Speaker 1: But what is radical when we continue to read the Bible is that marriage, according to what God wants us to do, is about gospel reenactment.
Speaker 1: So traditional marriage with status, More modern view of marriage is I'm going to marry you because of how you make me feel, what fulfills me, and the Bible says no, it's to help you shine the love of Jesus to him and to those around you, like, that's why.
Speaker 1: So, when you're looking for a spouse and you're like, oh, I think they're hot, great Chemistry is awesome, but you're also looking for somebody who has the future that you want.
Speaker 1: You're looking at, like, what their dreams are, what their hopes are for marriages, for family, what their goals are, who they are as a person, and you're seeing if that aligns with you and where God's taking you and you're like, hey, maybe together we could shine the light of Jesus in a way that we couldn't do individually.
Speaker 1: That's what you're looking for and you're thinking about as a Christian, in marriage.
Speaker 1: And then, when you get married, when your spouse isn't perfect because they're not and you're not either you're looking for ways to show them grace.
Speaker 1: You're not like, oh, I'm only going to be faithful to you and considerate to you.
Speaker 1: If you're doing that to me, no, you're like I get you're going to have days where they aren't going to be great.
Speaker 1: I'm going to forgive you, like Jesus forgave me, and we're going to continue to shine this light of Jesus together.
Speaker 1: Ephesians says in Ephesians 5, husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
Speaker 1: See, jesus loved us before we were lovely and we get to share that with each other.
Speaker 1: Like that's what husbands get to do.
Speaker 1: Literally, when I was single, I was like, hey, if I find a guy that loves me, like Jesus, like that, I'm on board.
Speaker 1: So single ladies, wait for that.
Speaker 1: Okay, now you might be listening to this and you're like so I should just like let them walk all over me Like they can just be a sinful person.
Speaker 1: I'm just supposed to keep forgiving them.
Speaker 1: Good question, that's why we got to keep reading the Bible.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of scripture we talk about with this, but we're going to jump into Proverbs 27, where it says iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens one another.
Speaker 1: So if you're married to somebody and they're being a little selfish and it's annoying you, you pray about it.
Speaker 1: You look like, okay, lord, where do I need to grow?
Speaker 1: And then you bring it up because there's no time to waste, because you're in a marriage where you're looking to love God and love others, and if one of you is sinning in an area that's going to slow down the goal, so you bring it up.
Speaker 1: And also, if you want to take this to heart, you learn to take feedback, like when your spouse comes to you and say, hey, I've noticed that you've been bitter.
Speaker 1: I know when my husband was like what's?
Speaker 1: wrong he's like okay, I got to be willing to receive that because I'm not acting very Christ-like right now.
Speaker 1: That's what we do in a marriage.
Speaker 1: We're a team and if you've been on a sports team you know the common saying is there's no I in team.
Speaker 1: You're in it together.
Speaker 1: You're helping each other out because, ultimately, the goal is to shine that Jesus love.
Speaker 1: Now there's a CS Lewis quote Always got to love.
Speaker 1: A good old CS Lewis quote that might help sink this in a little bit.
Speaker 1: Being in love, I think, yes, you can read along with me.
Speaker 1: Being in love is a good thing, but it's not the best thing.
Speaker 1: Love in the second sense, love as distinct from being in love, is not merely a feeling.
Speaker 1: It is a deep unity maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by, in Christian marriages, the grace which both partners ask and receive from God.
Speaker 1: They can have this love for each other even at the moments when they do not like each other.
Speaker 1: It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run.
Speaker 1: But it was being in love, but being in love was the explosion that started it.
Speaker 1: I want to give another little call out to the singles If you are looking for somebody that you're attracted to but you're like should I marry them?
Speaker 1: I would encourage you not to have that mom mentality where you're like, well, they're really hot, but I mean they don't have a ton of character.
Speaker 1: But that could change, like I could help them.
Speaker 1: You know you want to be growing in character.
Speaker 1: You want to be growing in self-sacrifice, growing in dependability and looking for somebody who's looking to grow in that too.
Speaker 1: Not perfect, because we're not going to be perfect, but you want to look for somebody that's already doing that, because you're not God.
Speaker 1: You weren't meant to fix your spouse and so you want to already, when you're dating, have that mentality that they're allowing God to do the change, just like you want to allow God to do the change in you.
Speaker 1: And if you're married, it is so freeing when you let go of trying to fix them and you just let God do the work and do the work in you.
Speaker 1: Now again, there are not again I haven't said this yet but there are places where you need to set boundaries.
Speaker 1: That's another topic that Carter talked about recently.
Speaker 1: But you need wisdom for that.
Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, we all just need to go to Jesus for the help that we need in our relationships.
Speaker 1: My dad used to say when I was before like I think I was a teenager.
Speaker 1: He was like Elena, life's like a race and you got to run to God and you don't have to run to the sidelines to find a spouse, you just keep going and you look around for who's going in that direction.
Speaker 1: And the more I would read God's Word and the more I would get to know people.
Speaker 1: It was like hell is a reality, and if people don't know Jesus, then that's where they're going.
Speaker 1: And so there was no time to waste.
Speaker 1: It just would get me more and more fired up to be picky about who I was going to choose to get married to, and I'm glad I was.
Speaker 1: Kyle, you're great, okay, moving on.
Speaker 1: Kyle the guitar player there's a lot of Kyles here, so I'm sure you're great too.
Speaker 1: Other Kyles Moving on, so I'm sure you're great too.
Speaker 1: Other Kyles Moving on.
Speaker 1: Parent.
Speaker 1: We've talked about marriages.
Speaker 1: Now we're going to dive into parenting, the lovely world of parenting, and according to Proverbs, the goal of parents is to teach your kids lots and lots of wisdom.
Speaker 1: Now, traditional parenting idea would have been more like teach your kid right from wrong and discipline them More modern ideas of parenting is affirm them and love them.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say those are bad.
Speaker 1: I just think when we look to God's word there's more to it.
Speaker 1: So Proverbs says teach lots of wisdom.
Speaker 1: Let's read Proverbs 23.
Speaker 1: Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Speaker 1: Buy the truth and do not sell it.
Speaker 1: Get wisdom, discipline and understanding.
Speaker 1: The father of a righteous man has great joy.
Speaker 1: He who has a wise son delights in him.
Speaker 1: May your father and mother be glad.
Speaker 1: May she who gave birth, may she who gave you birth, rejoice.
Speaker 1: There was a report, a Carnegie report, that came out years ago and it was called All Our Children and it covered the different parenting that I just said traditional teaching about good and right and wrong, and the more modern version, which is affirm and love.
Speaker 1: And it said the traditional way was that's old school now, the more the way that parents are supposed to do their job.
Speaker 1: Now what, according to this report was finding is that your job as a parent was to simply build up your child's self-esteem by affirming them, no matter what, and letting the educators and the psychologists take care of the rest.
Speaker 1: There was a professor at Duke University.
Speaker 1: His name was Stanley Herwas.
Speaker 1: I looked it up, that was his last name, how you pronounce it and he went nuts over this.
Speaker 1: He was like wait a minute, this doesn't cover it all, because science can't teach moral and ethics and what the church can teach.
Speaker 1: You can say something like racism is wrong, but science can't prove that.
Speaker 1: That's the realm of parenting and church and ethics.
Speaker 1: And what he was saying was exactly what Proverbs is saying is parents, it's your job to teach your kid what's wise.
Speaker 1: They can't get it anywhere else.
Speaker 1: I mean, and if you neglect that, that's what they're going to learn is wise, which would be the wrong version of that.
Speaker 1: So, as I look to God's word, and even though I don't feel qualified to be the parent that I am, I realized no, god can equip me to be that parent.
Speaker 1: I don't need to rely on social media, the culture, my kids, like your kids', school teachers, my kids are too young for that.
Speaker 1: School teachers, even the teachers that are teaching your kids right now, they're not the ones that are supposed to teach your kids what's wise and unwise.
Speaker 1: They can support you and be your biggest fan, but at the end of the and he will equip you.
Speaker 1: The more you don't feel equipped, the more you can rely on his strength and he will give you what you need in that moment.
Speaker 1: But when you mess up because you will you get to learn how to shine the grace of Jesus to your kids.
Speaker 1: So when I get impatient with my kids, it's like I'll be so proud of myself, be like patient, patient.
Speaker 1: And then they cross the line and I'm like stop, you know like, and I get frustrated and angry and I'm not disciplining them out of love.
Speaker 1: If I have my head on straight, I go to my kid and I look them in the eye and I say, mommy, messed up, I shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1: Mommy needs Jesus, I need Jesus' help.
Speaker 1: And you know what I hope they get from that when they're older.
Speaker 1: I hope that when they mess up and their problem is bigger than you know, not sharing with their sister, that they learn to run to Jesus right away.
Speaker 1: Just run to him.
Speaker 1: They don't have to try to figure it out, they don't have to try to brush him off.
Speaker 1: You know, try to follow some rules before they run to Jesus right away, just run to him.
Speaker 1: They don't have to try to figure it out, they don't have to try to brush him off.
Speaker 1: You know, try to follow some rules before they run to Jesus.
Speaker 1: No, just go to Jesus.
Speaker 1: He's waiting there, he loves you, he died for you.
Speaker 1: He can give you the strength to not be defined by that mistake.
Speaker 1: That's what I hope my parents, my kids, get, which then sometimes I'm like so I can mess up.
Speaker 1: No, I can't keep messing up, I need to just.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't.
Speaker 1: There's grace but I need to just keep going back to Jesus.
Speaker 1: I get to do that, but I hope that's encouragement to you, that through your imperfections you can shine the light of God's perfection.
Speaker 1: Through that you don't have to do this by yourself.
Speaker 1: I was in a small group that was here back in the day when I was single, and it was a women's small group and women of all different ages and different backgrounds, and there was a mom in there that said to everybody she was like I'm learning that God's going to give me the grace I need today or God's not going to give me the grace I need tomorrow for today Okay, let me rephrase that God's not going to give me the grace I need tomorrow for today Okay, let me rephrase that God's not going to give me the grace I need tomorrow for today.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I think it can be overwhelming.
Speaker 1: And this can apply to any relationship that you're in, like how am I going to handle them when they're teenagers?
Speaker 1: And yes, keep learning, keep growing, but when the time comes, if you're practicing, praying and giving it all up to Jesus, he's going to give you what you need then.
Speaker 1: Today we just rest in what we need for today.
Speaker 1: So how do we do that?
Speaker 1: How do we be parents to our kids?
Speaker 1: Proverbs gives us some great insight.
Speaker 1: In Proverbs 22, it says Folly is found up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from them.
Speaker 1: Notice, it says folly.
Speaker 1: Folly is foolishness.
Speaker 1: And if you have kids or you've worked with kids, you know they have to be taught to be wise.
Speaker 1: My husband said last night like about our three-year-old, we have to teach him to listen.
Speaker 1: He doesn't know.
Speaker 1: I remember when I would say stop to him when he was just learning how to talk, and I was like he doesn't even know what that means.
Speaker 1: Like I mean it's exciting to see it all click, but it's also you have to use a lot of patience.
Speaker 1: So folly is found up in the heart of the child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
Speaker 1: So discipline something talked about a lot in Proverbs meaning moral guidance, instruction, training that's what you get to do as a parent.
Speaker 1: And the rod people would have thought of that like a shepherd, because that was a common job back then, and so they would have thought about the shepherd having a rod and using it to herd their flock, using it to guide them, and it was a sign of authority.
Speaker 1: So that means you, as the parent, get to know your kids, you get to know what they love, you get to know how they work, how their brain works, and you discipline according to that.
Speaker 1: For some it might be a stern look I remember the stern look my kindergarten teacher gave me, like that was enough for me, but for others it might be, as Carter would call it, an affectionate speaking in the context of love.
Speaker 1: You have to figure out what works for your kids so that you can teach them what's wise and unwise, what's right and wrong.
Speaker 1: But you do it out of love and patience, and when you mess up you ask for their forgiveness.
Speaker 1: I sometimes find I just literally have to walk away for a minute, because I know if I discipline them in that moment, I'm just going to be angry and I'm going to regret it.
Speaker 1: What happens when we do this?
Speaker 1: When we start to try to practice out Proverbs, we see the imperfections of where we need God's wisdom.
Speaker 1: We see that we can't measure up to this and that leads us to the foot of the cross.
Speaker 1: See, guys, you were created to have a relationship with God from the beginning, but sin, when God gave us the free will, sin distorted that, and that's what the whole Old Testament is about.
Speaker 1: Like God still wanted a relationship with us, but the sin was there and so he was finding ways to do that.
Speaker 1: But then Jesus came, and now all we need to do is have faith in him.
Speaker 1: I know, like when you read the Bible, I'm always like well, jesus changes everything.
Speaker 1: It really does.
Speaker 1: When you get frustrated with disciplining your kids, you go back to that truth Okay, he's enough for me, he can give me what I need to discipline my kids.
Speaker 1: All right, to discipline my kids, all right.
Speaker 1: Last point Kids.
Speaker 1: How do you honor your parents?
Speaker 1: How do you oops, I gave it away how do you treat your parents?
Speaker 1: You honor them.
Speaker 1: Fourth point honor your parents at all times.
Speaker 1: Proverbs 23 says listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Speaker 1: Now it says do not despise.
Speaker 1: And what's that mean To listen?
Speaker 1: It says what's it mean to listen to your mother?
Speaker 1: It means do not despise.
Speaker 1: And what's the opposite of despise.
Speaker 1: Try it out in chat, gbt, I did Honor.
Speaker 1: And what's the commandment in the Bible?
Speaker 1: Honor your father and mother so that you may live a long life in the land God is giving you.
Speaker 1: And if you think about this, that could revolutionize communities.
Speaker 1: It doesn't say love your parents.
Speaker 1: It doesn't say I mean you should, but like.
Speaker 1: That's not what this commandment is.
Speaker 1: It doesn't say you should like your parents.
Speaker 1: It doesn't say obey your parents.
Speaker 1: It says honor your parents.
Speaker 1: And I find that unique because this is not just for, like, little kids, this is for all of us, no matter our age, if our parents are around.
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of different stages you have as a kid to your parents.
Speaker 1: You have times where you need to listen to all of them, to listen to them so that you survive, so you don't touch the fire on the stove.
Speaker 1: And then you have stages where you have to start thinking for yourself, have critical understanding, because you need to grow up.
Speaker 1: So if you're still following everything they say, that could be devastating to the community.
Speaker 1: But if we are a group of people that seek to honor our parents, no matter the stage, there wouldn't be bitterness Like there would.
Speaker 1: There'd be kind of like this everybody would be chilled out.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like when we're not, when there like when we're not honoring our parents, when we're mad at them, when there's anger that impacts how we treat everybody else and there's good reason to be upset at your parents for some of us.
Speaker 1: I already talked about how there's people that could feel neglected, there's parents that could have left.
Speaker 1: But for the sake of yourself, for your future kids, for our communities, we need to look for ways to honor our parents.
Speaker 1: And you might be wondering well, how do I do that?
Speaker 1: Great question.
Speaker 1: Let's go over it.
Speaker 1: Five ways.
Speaker 1: One find appropriate symbols to honor them, so like put them at the table in a certain spot, remember certain holidays, ask for advice in certain situations, and this is all in the context of your family.
Speaker 1: You need to figure out what's best in your situation.
Speaker 1: But here's some ideas.
Speaker 1: Show them how you're like them.
Speaker 1: I got my eyes from you and I think they're great.
Speaker 1: I got this trait from you and I love it.
Speaker 1: When we show how we're reproduced in them, that honors them.
Speaker 1: Don't stereotype them.
Speaker 1: Yes, your mom was like this all through growing up, but she could change, just like you changed.
Speaker 1: When we don't stereotype our parents, we honor them.
Speaker 1: Fourth, we forgive them.
Speaker 1: This one could be the hardest for some people.
Speaker 1: Proverbs says if a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be stuffed out in the pitch darkness.
Speaker 1: If we don't learn to forgive our parents, our life is going to be distorted.
Speaker 1: So how do we do this?
Speaker 1: When I think about some of the people in my life that have, they're heroes to me.
Speaker 1: Like, they stopped the family cycle of bitterness, of abuse.
Speaker 1: You know different things because they learned how to forgive their parents Doesn't mean they, like are best friends with them.
Speaker 1: They just learned to not, by God's strength, forgive their parents.
Speaker 1: So that didn't define them.
Speaker 1: And you know what that did.
Speaker 1: It changed how they parented their kids and for some of them in that context, it still meant helping take care of them in elderly age and that honestly showed their parents the love of Jesus.
Speaker 1: But it all started when they realized God, forgave me so I can forgive them.
Speaker 1: I don't have to be defined by this anymore.
Speaker 1: Last, the way to honor your parents is to please god first.
Speaker 1: See, your parents were not meant to be god to you.
Speaker 1: Hopefully they pointed you to jesus and they pointed you to god's word, but ultimately you need to say yes to god before your parents.
Speaker 1: Don't fall prey to the idea uh or okay, if you keep the aim to please god, you won't.
Speaker 1: Won't fall prey to the idol, to pleasing your parents.
Speaker 1: Use their instruction to ultimately say yes to God.
Speaker 1: Forrest Frank is a Christian artist singer.
Speaker 1: Me and my kids are a big fan of his music and I was watching an interview with him and in it the interviewer was like so were your parents like totally on board when you started doing the music career?
Speaker 1: He was like, oh well, they were, they were really wise.
Speaker 1: And I was like what's that mean?
Speaker 1: And so the interviewer was like oh, so they, they supported you.
Speaker 1: And he was.
Speaker 1: He was like well, no, not exactly.
Speaker 1: And as he talked he said he quit a corporate job that paid really well to start this music industry and his music wasn't that great at the time.
Speaker 1: And so his parents were being wise in saying are you sure this is a good idea?
Speaker 1: And yet he decided he knew if he didn't try this out that he would regret it.
Speaker 1: Like he loved music, he loved to worship God, and he knew if he did try it out then he'd regret it.
Speaker 1: So he decided to not listen to what they said and go with this opportunity instead.
Speaker 1: But he'd throw them under the bus.
Speaker 1: He could have been like no, they've never been supportive of me.
Speaker 1: No, he said they were very wise because they were.
Speaker 1: And yet he still put God first.
Speaker 1: That's what we get to do as a community.
Speaker 1: We get to honor our parents and we get that strength from what Jesus did on the cross.
Speaker 1: Because if you're like me and you think about this a little bit more and you're trying to apply it, you're going to end up in tears like I'm not qualified to give this message.
Speaker 1: I'm not qualified to be the parent, to be the spouse, to be the brother, the sister, the kid, the aunt, uncle, the grandparent, to live out patience and love to my family, because sometimes they irritate you when you mess up and when you get to that point when you feel like I can't do it on my own.
Speaker 1: You remember Jesus on the cross and you remember that Jesus made a covenant with the Father to partner with us and yet we hated him.
Speaker 1: We literally crucified him on the cross.
Speaker 1: You might feel crucified by your family, but Jesus was crucified for you.
Speaker 1: He stuck in it for you because he loved you, because he wanted you to have a relationship with you.
Speaker 1: He wanted to forgive you.
Speaker 1: And so when you're like my spouse isn't being good enough or my kids aren't what they should be, you remember you're not complete by them, you're complete by Jesus.
Speaker 1: He's enough for you.
Speaker 1: And when you're single and for some of you you might be fine being single, but for some of you you might want to get married and it might be hard you remember in those moments you tell yourself I know the one my soul longs for and he waits for me.
Speaker 1: He's the only one that's going to complete me.
Speaker 1: Getting a spouse will not make me more happy.
Speaker 1: Yes, there's cloud nine, but that ends and you're going to be left with understanding.
Speaker 1: Your spouse isn't going to be enough for you.
Speaker 1: But if you already have the mentality that Jesus is, you're going to be okay, no matter if you get married or not.
Speaker 1: I remember letting this sink into me when I was single.
Speaker 1: I remember praying Lord I want to be a mom, but I'm going to trust you with this.
Speaker 1: And you know what I thought then.
Speaker 1: I thought God didn't give me the idea to be a mom, to want to be a mom by mistake.
Speaker 1: So he will use my wanting to be a mom, my wanting to nurture, regardless on if I'm called mom or not.
Speaker 1: There was so much peace with that, like, oh, I don't have to get married and be a mom in order to live out this calling I have.
Speaker 1: So I'm just going to continue to do what I was doing at the time.
Speaker 1: I was working with teens and kids at the church, and it just gave me so much peace Like I don't have to wait for my status to change.
Speaker 1: Right now, right here, god's giving me this calling in an urgency and I can do it because he completes me and that's true for you, wherever you're at, and that can apply to how you feel about your parents, to how you feel about your spouse, to how you feel about your kids.
Speaker 1: He completes you.
Speaker 1: He's where we find the hope, with that, to keep going when we live out this way, we reenact the gospel.
Speaker 1: We're bringing restoration to brokenness around us, to our parents, to our spouse, to our children, and it impacts our community.
Speaker 1: And what they are left with is Jesus, will you pray with me, lord?
Speaker 1: It's all too hard for us, but you are enough, and we just want to be the kind of people that get that.
Speaker 1: I lift up people in here that are like I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with my kids, I don't know what to do with my spouse, and I just pray that they would have time with worship with you today, they would go to your word, they would have peace, despite the circumstances, that you can give them what they need, and you'd give them the wisdom and the discernment to love their family right where they're at.
Speaker 1: And I lift all this up in your name.
Speaker 1: Everybody said amen.
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