Speaker 1: If ministry had a job board, I worked almost everything From children's church yeah, I'd done it.
Speaker 1: Teens yep Band driver yes.
Speaker 1: Worship team absolutely.
Speaker 1: Choir yes, scrub toilets, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1: Women's ministry yes.
Speaker 1: Singles yes, even design the bulletins, if anybody remember what bulletins are.
Speaker 1: Yes, and a part of the leadership team yes.
Speaker 1: But there was a season in my life when I poured myself out to leadership.
Speaker 1: I would carry their weight, I would cover their blind side, I would have things ready, ready for them way before they even asked for it.
Speaker 1: It looked like love, it sounds like love, it acts like love.
Speaker 1: It started as love, but somewhere along the way, somewhere in that process, in that process, I lost love.
Speaker 1: But I didn't stop serving, I kept serving.
Speaker 1: I just lost it.
Speaker 1: I didn't stop praying, it just felt automatic.
Speaker 1: I kept showing up, but my heart was not in the room.
Speaker 1: I was helpful, I was reliable, I was respected by the people, but I wasn't loving it.
Speaker 1: And no one could tell, because when you serve well, people assume your heart is full, but mine was empty and it was numb.
Speaker 1: Then one day God said girl, come here, lavita, come over here.
Speaker 1: And I didn't want to hear what he had to say, but he asked me to come here and I listened.
Speaker 1: He said what are you doing?
Speaker 1: Why are you doing this if love isn't in it anymore?
Speaker 1: And I did not even have an answer.
Speaker 1: But that question, I tell you, it, unraveled something in me.
Speaker 1: I had confused being busy with being close to God.
Speaker 1: I had mistaken performance for presence.
Speaker 1: I thought faithfulness meant never slowing down or it meant love.
Speaker 1: Maybe you felt that too.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're right there.
Speaker 1: Maybe you were once there.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're serving right now.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're coming every time the doors open.
Speaker 1: You're here faithfully.
Speaker 1: Maybe when the doors open, you're the first one here and you're the last one out.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're leading a group or working on the praise team.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're the first one who raises your hand when there's an ask.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're opening up your door.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 1: But maybe while we're doing that, we're watching for something.
Speaker 1: There's something we need and we're looking for people to appreciate us.
Speaker 1: We're looking for people to say job well done.
Speaker 1: We're looking for people to respect us.
Speaker 1: We're looking for people to say I trust you or to take us serious.
Speaker 1: And when that doesn't happen, doesn't happen.
Speaker 1: We don't say it, we show it right.
Speaker 1: We start picking apart leadership, picking apart the pastor, picking apart the sermons, picking apart the praise team songs.
Speaker 1: That was saying that Sunday we start picking apart the decisions that are being made in the church and we call it burnout.
Speaker 1: We say, you know, I'm just so tired.
Speaker 1: But if it's not you being overworked, it's not you being burnt out, what it is is just you're underloving.
Speaker 1: It is not you being burned out, it is not you being overworked, it's you being underloving.
Speaker 1: And that is the space I found myself in.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what is happening in Corinth.
Speaker 1: They have the gifts, they have the knowledge, they have the community, they have the momentum, but they lost love and the church is divided.
Speaker 1: Good morning Fierce.
Speaker 1: Today we are going to be talking about can you love church people?
Speaker 1: Because I am one of those church people.
Speaker 1: Can you love me, not just tolerate me, not just tolerate me, not just serve around me, not just coexist with me, but can you love me?
Speaker 1: Because love is what makes the difference.
Speaker 1: In 1 Corinthians 13, paul has to write a letter because he needs to correct them.
Speaker 1: He isn't trying to praise them.
Speaker 1: He needs to realign them right.
Speaker 1: Paul doesn't talk about strategy and structure like they do in corporate America.
Speaker 1: In corporate America, when leadership attitudes change and employees have just a bad attitude.
Speaker 1: Leadership attitudes change and employees have just a bad attitude.
Speaker 1: Here comes, you know, this functional strategy plan and all of these meetings and we gotta realign and fix everything.
Speaker 1: But Paul doesn't do that.
Speaker 1: Y'all know Paul was gangster when he was out there and gangster for Jesus when he came a part of it.
Speaker 1: So Paul's like I'm dealing with the thing, I'm dealing with your heart.
Speaker 1: I'm not about to do structure with you.
Speaker 1: I'm not giving you a leadership list and check off all that you should be doing and mark off all that you're not doing.
Speaker 1: No, he's not doing that.
Speaker 1: He's going to deal with your heart.
Speaker 1: You can serve, you can lead, you can sacrifice and still miss the whole point.
Speaker 1: So let's look at 1 Corinthians 13, 1 through 3, because what we need to understand is that being impressive isn't enough.
Speaker 1: Performance doesn't impress God, presence does does.
Speaker 1: First one, if I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or clanking cymbal.
Speaker 1: They thought that the tongues made them spiritual.
Speaker 1: You might think quoting scriptures or leading a group or being on social media, quoting God said this and God said that makes you spiritual, it don't.
Speaker 1: Paul says it so bluntly without love, it's noise.
Speaker 1: There's no harmony, there's no melody, there's just clanking.
Speaker 1: So when you come to church and you don't love, this is what is heard in heaven.
Speaker 1: When you're in a relationship and you're married and you don't love one another, this is what it sounds like in heaven.
Speaker 1: When you're a child, youth, and you're disrespectful to your parents and you're rude and you don't listen, this is what it sounds like in heaven.
Speaker 1: When you show up every Sunday with no love, this is what it sounds like in heaven.
Speaker 1: Verse two If I have the gift of prophecy and can phantom all mysteries and all knowledge, and I have faith that can move mountains, but I do not have love, I am nothing.
Speaker 1: Paul doesn't say that you're less valued.
Speaker 1: He says you're nothing.
Speaker 1: The Corinthians considered their special insights and their strong faith to make them more powerful and more important than others.
Speaker 1: You can be the most seasoned person right here in this room who knows everything about this ministry.
Speaker 1: You know when the doors opened, on the first day up until today.
Speaker 1: You know all the stories about fears.
Speaker 1: You know everybody's business, all the history.
Speaker 1: You've been on every board.
Speaker 1: You know everything about fears and you're just telling everybody about everything.
Speaker 1: But guess what?
Speaker 1: If love is not shaping how you speak to the people, your wisdom feels more like judgment than guidance.
Speaker 1: You can be the young adult in the room that everybody is so proud of.
Speaker 1: You're so gifted, you're so articulate, you're on fire for God and you've got a platform and everybody is reposting everything that you do.
Speaker 1: But if love, real, grounded, humble love isn't there underneath, it's just like noise.
Speaker 1: This is the sound it makes in heaven.
Speaker 1: Success without love can turn into spotlight addiction.
Speaker 1: Talent without love starts sounding like self-promotion.
Speaker 1: You can have the gift, you can even have the influence, the words, but if you do not have love, none of it means anything.
Speaker 1: Verse 3.
Speaker 1: If I give all I possess to the poor and I give over my body to hardship, that I may boast, but I do not have love, I gain nothing.
Speaker 1: If your sacrifice is motivated by pride and is motivated by performance, it has no eternal weight.
Speaker 1: You can be respected by people and still rejected by heaven.
Speaker 1: You can be respected by people and still be rejected by heaven if love is not leading your life.
Speaker 1: I'm a single mom, been divorced maybe 19 years, been a single mom since I was 22,.
Speaker 1: Pregnant with my second son and it was not easy raising my boys alone.
Speaker 1: But somehow God thought that he can take my misery and turn it into ministry.
Speaker 1: I became an advocate, an advocate for single mothers.
Speaker 1: I fell in love with single mothers.
Speaker 1: I wanted them to know I love them.
Speaker 1: I understood I walk with them.
Speaker 1: And when God gave me that ministry I was in the middle of going through a divorce.
Speaker 1: I was broken and he said but if you love on them, I'll begin to heal you.
Speaker 1: I said God, but I don't have no love to give.
Speaker 1: He says if you love on them, I will heal you.
Speaker 1: So before COVID, I have a ministry called Praying Single Mothers and I used to travel all over the world and I would speak at these single mothers conferences.
Speaker 1: And then one day I got this invitation to be a speaker at a single mother conference conference and they had over a thousand single mothers that had traveled there and I was super excited to be a part because I was like man I get to love on them, I get to tell them my story, I get to give them Jesus.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, I'm so excited about this opportunity.
Speaker 1: So I fly there and I get there and this beautiful, eloquent lady picks me up and she's just giving me everything that I need for this conference and she's like your itinerary is in your room and I'm going to need you to be down from the hotel on time.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: So I get to my room and I rush to the itinerary because it's like I need to know, you know, I got to be on time, I can't be late.
Speaker 1: So she picks me up and we get there and that night and the conference was beautiful, and the next day is my day to speak, and so I speak and then I have a breakout and I'm just loving it because I'm having that one-on-one with these single mothers that I like.
Speaker 1: And now it's lunchtime and I'm excited, not about the food, I mean, I like food.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't about the food.
Speaker 1: It was because something miraculously always happens when you have a table of people and you sit around and there's food, because extroverts become introverts and stories begin to be told and healing begin to happen.
Speaker 1: Things happen.
Speaker 1: And so I wanted that opportunity now to sit with the single mothers and love on them.
Speaker 1: And so it was thousands of them.
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, oh God, I don't even know where I'm going to go in there, where are you going to send me?
Speaker 1: So I grabbed my food and I'm walking and I'm about to go into the little dining room area and someone is there like, hey, you're a speaker, right?
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 1: She said, oh sorry, but that's for our guests and you're over here with the speakers and we don't want that much mingling.
Speaker 1: I said I don't want to be with them, I'm not nobody, I want to be over here.
Speaker 1: She's like so I'm mad, I'm disappointed, because I was ready to spend time with these women.
Speaker 1: And so I go in this room and I'm just you know, my eyes was probably rolling and I'm just like, oh.
Speaker 1: So I go over in the room and somehow La Vida sneaks out the room.
Speaker 1: I sneak out the room.
Speaker 1: I tried to go over to the other room but there was a security guard.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I can't get in.
Speaker 1: And so I see a common area and there's single mamas.
Speaker 1: And so I get excited.
Speaker 1: And so I run over to this common area and I am talking with them and I am loving on them.
Speaker 1: And it is amazing, this conference was well-planned.
Speaker 1: It was, I mean, perfect, it was everything.
Speaker 1: But it would have meant nothing.
Speaker 1: It means nothing if we did all of that and couldn't show love.
Speaker 1: That's what's important to me.
Speaker 1: I never want to be known as who she thinks she is or by a title.
Speaker 1: I don't care about that.
Speaker 1: I want to love on you and that's what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1: I got to do it, even sneaking out.
Speaker 1: This is where Paul begins to shift things for us.
Speaker 1: In verses four to six, he stopped telling us what love isn't and start painting the picture of what love is, because real love, it isn't easy.
Speaker 1: It is transforming Verses 4 through 6.
Speaker 1: Love is patient.
Speaker 1: Love is kind.
Speaker 1: It does not envy.
Speaker 1: It does not boast.
Speaker 1: It is not proud.
Speaker 1: It does not dishonor others.
Speaker 1: It is not self-seeking.
Speaker 1: It is not easily angered.
Speaker 1: It does not dishonor others.
Speaker 1: It is not self-seeking.
Speaker 1: It is not easily angered.
Speaker 1: It keeps no records of wrong.
Speaker 1: Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.
Speaker 1: We are going to read that again.
Speaker 1: Love is patient.
Speaker 1: Love is kind.
Speaker 1: It does not envy.
Speaker 1: It does not boast.
Speaker 1: It is not proud.
Speaker 1: It does not dishonor others.
Speaker 1: It is not self-seeking.
Speaker 1: It is not proud.
Speaker 1: It does not dishonor others.
Speaker 1: It is not self-seeking.
Speaker 1: It is not easily angered.
Speaker 1: It keeps no record of wrongs.
Speaker 1: Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Speaker 1: Real love isn't natural, it is supernatural.
Speaker 1: This kind of love doesn't come from willpower I think I can, I think I can, I'm going to get there.
Speaker 1: I think I can, I think I can.
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: It comes from the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 1: Love like this doesn't cancel, it doesn't keep score.
Speaker 1: It confronts, but without bitterness.
Speaker 1: This isn't church culture love.
Speaker 1: This is Jesus's love.
Speaker 1: Let's pause for a moment.
Speaker 1: Let's remember where we've been.
Speaker 1: We talked about what love isn't.
Speaker 1: We talked about what love is.
Speaker 1: Now we're shifting into something a little harder, a little deeper.
Speaker 1: How do we love over the long haul?
Speaker 1: How do we build communities where love lasts even when people don't Point?
Speaker 1: Number one Love veils itself so that it can notice, applaud and empower others.
Speaker 1: Love doesn't need a spotlight.
Speaker 1: What does this mean?
Speaker 1: It is patient.
Speaker 1: It listens more than talking.
Speaker 1: It's kind.
Speaker 1: It stays present rather than walking away.
Speaker 1: It's not jealous.
Speaker 1: It's applauding someone else's success without thinking well, what about me?
Speaker 1: It's courteous.
Speaker 1: It controls the tongue, even in harsh situations.
Speaker 1: Verse 7,.
Speaker 1: It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Speaker 1: So how do we build communities where love lasts when people don't Point?
Speaker 1: Two love perseveres and hangs on for a brighter day.
Speaker 1: Love doesn't quit when things get hard right.
Speaker 1: It holds steady.
Speaker 1: Steady through the storm.
Speaker 1: Love doesn't shut down.
Speaker 1: It keeps showing up.
Speaker 1: So when one of the church people hurt your feelings, or when you are overlooked, or when you feel like you're not being respected, it doesn't fall back.
Speaker 1: It keeps showing up.
Speaker 1: You don't allow other people's reaction to guide your heart.
Speaker 1: Paul is now about to take us on a step further in verse 8.
Speaker 1: It says Love never fails.
Speaker 1: But where there are prophecies, they will cease.
Speaker 1: Where there are tongues, they will be still.
Speaker 1: Where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Speaker 1: Verse 8 begins with a simple but powerful line love never fails.
Speaker 1: So how do we build communities when love lasts when people don't point three, love holds our hope in God's faithfulness and wisdom for a resurrected ending.
Speaker 1: Even when everyone else has already walked away, love keeps the light on.
Speaker 1: Love waits at the tomb.
Speaker 1: It trusts that the story isn't over.
Speaker 1: Love stays at the table when everyone else walks away.
Speaker 1: So let's pause again and let's take a breath together.
Speaker 1: We've looked at what love isn't.
Speaker 1: Love doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it's not proud, it's not rude, it's self-seeking or easily angered.
Speaker 1: It doesn't keep score, it doesn't quit and it isn't inconvenient.
Speaker 1: Then we turned the corner and saw what love is.
Speaker 1: Love steps back so others can rise.
Speaker 1: Love perseveres through the hard stuff.
Speaker 1: Love holds on to hope even when everyone else lets go stuff.
Speaker 1: Love holds on to hope even when everyone else lets go.
Speaker 1: We've seen that real love isn't just a feeling, it's a choice, it's a posture, it's a way of showing up.
Speaker 1: You can have the sharpest gifts and the best theology and the biggest sacrifice, but if love isn't leading, you're not living out your purpose.
Speaker 1: God is not impressed by our performance.
Speaker 1: He's impressed by our love.
Speaker 1: Real love is what holds a church together.
Speaker 1: Real love is what brings healing to a broken world.
Speaker 1: Real love is what God gave us and what he now shows us to give away.
Speaker 1: When I was, I was raised by a single mother.
Speaker 1: It was four of us and when I became a teenager, I desired so deeply for a father.
Speaker 1: I wanted a father figure, so, so bad.
Speaker 1: And when I was about 19 years old, I worked at a daycare center.
Speaker 1: And I came home from college and I worked at a daycare center and there was a guy who owned a barbershop across the street from the daycare center and he would come into that barbershop I mean into the daycare center and he would bring all of these supplies to the daycare owner and the daycare owner in exchange would give him food.
Speaker 1: And this daycare owner she served really good soul food to those kids because we lived, this daycare was in a poverty-stricken area and she didn't know if these kids were going to eat that night and so she would make, like you know, turkey and dressing and yams and stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean we were eating good at work every day and so she would give him a plate.
Speaker 1: And so this gentleman began to build relationships with all the teachers.
Speaker 1: One day he invited us out to dinner and I was one of them and I went and the relationship between him and I began to grow.
Speaker 1: I introduced him to my family.
Speaker 1: My mother gave her approval.
Speaker 1: He introduced me to his family as his daughter.
Speaker 1: He became my spiritual dad.
Speaker 1: He became what I had prayed for.
Speaker 1: I loved him so, so much.
Speaker 1: He was incredible.
Speaker 1: He was known in the community as a man who loved.
Speaker 1: One day at his barbershop he heard some tussling through the walls and he goes over there and there's a woman who is being assaulted by a man with a gun and he gets shot in the leg but he survives.
Speaker 1: And then he saw a single mother one time at the bus stop with her kids and it's raining really, really hard and he's 88 years old and he gives her his car and he says I don't want you riding, I mean standing outside in the rain, so I'm gonna give you my car.
Speaker 1: He knew that this meant that he was going to have to take the bus.
Speaker 1: Now he arrives at the barbershop every morning at 5 am and he spends an hour with God.
Speaker 1: He spends the next hour with all of his chronologically gifted friends old people, for those who didn't know and he cuts their hair.
Speaker 1: And then the crowd comes in in September, on a Thursday in 2014,.
Speaker 1: Let me say this first In 2013, I met my real dad.
Speaker 1: I didn't tell my spiritual dad because I didn't want him to know.
Speaker 1: I didn't need him anymore because I did.
Speaker 1: September of 2014, my dad was at the bus stop at four o'clock in the morning and two men, two people, walked up to him to rob him, walked up to him to rob him and as they were robbing him, he lost his balance and he fell and he hit his head.
Speaker 1: I was working in Lake Forest.
Speaker 1: I get a call.
Speaker 1: It was a Thursday and I had to go from Lake Forest to Chicago and I didn't know what happened.
Speaker 1: And I get there and his head is double the size and I thought my life was over.
Speaker 1: Like how am I going to live without him?
Speaker 1: He was so important to me.
Speaker 1: I laid on his chest and I begged him not to go.
Speaker 1: I couldn't understand how someone could hurt someone like him.
Speaker 1: Three days later, on a Sunday, I get a call that he had died and I was devastated.
Speaker 1: The investigators reached out to tell me what was going on.
Speaker 1: They said that the two individuals one was a man and one was dressed up as a woman, and I can only imagine my dad seeing the he-she and probably asking them what are you doing out here this early in the morning?
Speaker 1: And they began to rob him and if they would have known him, they would have known that he would have given them the money because that's who he was.
Speaker 1: So as they were going through his pockets and taking his phone, if he got shoved or if he slipped, I don't know and he fell and I'm told those two men saw a police car and they ran to the police car and they said the man has fallen, please save him.
Speaker 1: That changed something in me because I was angry.
Speaker 1: I was so mad.
Speaker 1: I wanted justice, I wanted them to go to jail.
Speaker 1: I wanted them to be punished for what they had done.
Speaker 1: I eventually ended up forgiving these two men because I knew they did not mean to kill my dad.
Speaker 1: They were drug addicts and they had a substance issue and they wanted money to feed their issue.
Speaker 1: Now don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1: I didn't forgive them instantly.
Speaker 1: It's impossible for me.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness wasn't natural for me at this time.
Speaker 1: It was a process and God had to go through the layers of my heart for me to get to this place.
Speaker 1: But I forgave them because my dad would have wanted me to and God wanted me to.
Speaker 1: And as I was looking at the video recently because it's in the news and I saw the gentleman and I felt like I need to go and see them and tell them I forgive them and that God loves them.
Speaker 1: But I can't do it by myself.
Speaker 1: So if anybody wants to go with me, let me know.
Speaker 1: The choice I made wasn't easy, y'all.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness, like I said, it wasn't natural.
Speaker 1: But that choice to let bitterness go, to choose love.
Speaker 1: It changed everything in me, and when we choose love over revenge, and love over hate, and love over what feels like justified anger, something can break away in you, because I was carrying that weight of anger because I had prayed for him.
Speaker 1: I did have him for 20 years, though, and I'm so grateful for that.
Speaker 1: My son is named after him and was my dad, was so proud, but now it's your turn, y'all.
Speaker 1: I'm not asking you to carry my pain, I'm not even asking you to wear my wounds, but I am asking you to make a choice.
Speaker 1: You can love like my dad, live and shift the atmosphere when he walk in, or you can love like God, because his love is perfect love full of love.
Speaker 1: Love doesn't quit, it listens, it forgives, and it helps you to release what you are holding.
Speaker 1: So if you're here today and you're angry with someone right here and you're not loving because you're misunderstood or you're under loving, today is your opportunity to get it right with God.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're here today and you don't even have a relationship with him and you've never even experienced his love, so therefore, you don't even know how to love like that.
Speaker 1: Today is your day.
Speaker 1: You can get it right.
Speaker 1: When I was serving leaders and I had it all messed up.
Speaker 1: I learned to give it right, because now I lead with love.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do something if I'm not in love with what I'm doing and love the people that I'm around and doing what I'm supposed to do, because I have to do it right this time and I encourage you to do it too.
Speaker 1: So if you are here today and you want a relationship with him, we all are going to bow our heads and we're going to close our eyes and you can raise your hand and say I want to know his love.
Speaker 1: But maybe you're here and you're saying I want to be forgiven, I want to repent for not loving like I should, right here in this house, right here in my home or at work or in my community.
Speaker 1: Father, you see your people here today.
Speaker 1: You see all of our hearts.
Speaker 1: You see where we all fall short.
Speaker 1: Some of us are really struggling with that love thing and are walking in bitterness, god, and angry, and have stepped back and picking apart the ministry and picking apart relationships.
Speaker 1: But we thank you for your grace today.
Speaker 1: We thank you for your love today and your forgiveness today.
Speaker 1: Forgive us, god, set us on fire for you and to remember that we're not doing this for one another.
Speaker 1: We're doing this unto you.
Speaker 1: Those who don't know you, god, I pray that they receive you today, accept you as their Lord and Savior.
Speaker 1: Today, I pray that they know that you've died on the cross and raised from the grave for them, to give them life, and that you're going to allow them to experience your love, so that they can then go share your love.
Speaker 1: God, I thank you for changing our lives.
Speaker 1: I thank you, heavenly Father, for all the hard stuff, but also for the way that you have softened our hearts.
Speaker 1: I thank you for the cost, what it cost you on the cross.
Speaker 1: We appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Lord, make us new In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1: I want you to choose love, choose Jesus, choose what never fails, amen.
Speaker 2: Hey, thanks for tuning in today.
Speaker 2: If God has used the ministry of Fierce in your life, please consider paying it forward with a financial gift.
Speaker 2: Choose what never fails, amen.