Laugh Until We Fart
Laugh Until We Fart
Season 4 Premiere: Sock Cutters, Batteries and Buttholes Oh My!
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Welcome to a whirlwind session of giggles, gaffes, and gabbing that's sure to tickle your funny bone and warm the cockles of your heart. Buckle in for a studio reunion that's as chaotic as a family dinner with twice the laughter—where we trade nicknames, riff on gifts from eye massagers to Ewok plushies, and confess our holiday hijinks. From the ridiculous to the sublime, our gift of gab takes you from the wonders of a new AI-crafted podcast intro to the trials of personal grooming and the hilarity of misadventures with lost wallets and misplaced duct tape.Imagine sitting at a bar with your quirkiest friends, where conversations meander like a lazy river and everyone's got a story more eyebrow-raising than the last. That's us, debating the finer points of Trump-branded sneakers, attempting Brooklyn accents, and uncovering the secret lives of sock cutters. We don't just discuss parental challenges and tongue-twisters; we live them, and we've got anecdotes about mirror mazes and unconventional baking ingredients to prove it. And because we love to push the envelope, we dive straight into poop talk and the allure of the "dad bod," revealing our most embarrassing hygiene habits with the kind of openness that only true pals share.
This episode is a no-holds-barred journey through the everyday and the extraordinary, where we leave no stone—or topic—unturned. From the evolution of language and slang to the pursuit of 'flap free' living, we cover it all. Our dynamic mix of personalities ensures a potpourri of perspectives on life's oddities, from the concept of using an iPhone Max as toilet paper to musings on freeing the jiggly bits. And just when you think we might be running out of steam, we kick it up a notch with an improvised voice-over session, transforming a soundless video into an explosion of our collective creative energy. So grab your favorite snack, kick back, and let us entertain you with our latest episode—where laughter is guaranteed, and pants are optional.
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I.
Speaker 2Oh, we are back in studio, tootin scooped.
Speaker 3Hello, I want to have your mic in front of you.
Speaker 2L crappy tan is back behind the mic with his second lieutenant Taylor Lee, who, the Slutty is, born again virgin leap year virgin. Yeah.
Speaker 5I haven't had sex and sleep here.
Speaker 3And we have.
Speaker 2My best ever.
Speaker 9That's John is in my life is.
Speaker 2Why'd you give it away oh?
Speaker 4He was just tibby. Oh my bad.
Speaker 2Yeah, you just. You dock steam.
Speaker 5I do that a lot. You just dock steam. I ruin people's lives.
Speaker 2Well, welcome back everybody. We have our, our new camera Just looking fucking tight. We're actually watching ourselves in the studio tootin scoop TV Ever recording. I don't know if I like that. I don't like looking at myself like that. I'm gonna move it back over here.
Speaker 7Hey Jordan.
Speaker 2Thanks for the beat. She wants us to rap. You're gonna get kicked out of here again.
Speaker 5You're the singer, I'll do the beat.
Speaker 8I can't sing right now.
Speaker 2That's right, we're back. I, I'm gonna have to kick her out.
Speaker 3Oh, be nice about it, she's too loud. See now.
Speaker 5Okay well. Jordan vanished go all dogs go.
Speaker 3Yes, they do. Yes, I can smell that. Are you worried?
Speaker 2That's a no. That's just how my butt looks weird. I love you but, weird but sorry, sorry about my weird, but y'all hey. That's a podcast. First they really got to see my butt bent over like that. Oh we also have the former most Okay as co-host ever where. Casey, sue off camera right here. That's what I'm gonna be on dead in the eyeballs when?
Speaker 10You can't see your eyeballs.
Speaker 12Camera better than me. I should be there, no special guest special.
Speaker 5Special John's. You got the sweet new podcast shirt. Jonathan.
Speaker 2Tib.
Speaker 12Wonderful, I love it feels great.
Speaker 2You pull that up closer, that Mike.
Speaker 5Yeah, I can't hear you.
Speaker 12Okay.
Speaker 3You can move the mic, oh Look. Yeah move it to your face to your face.
Speaker 12Yeah.
Speaker 2Motorboating. So how's everyone's new year? We've gone through since the new year, last year we have. You know, we had Christmas, we had new years. Everybody get a good gifts for Christmas, hell yeah.
Speaker 3Fuck yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, what'd you get?
Speaker 3I got it, I got an eye massager.
Speaker 5I got Ewoks.
Speaker 2That's right, he walks, I did he did?
Speaker 3I got gift cards which love, love electric blanket, mmm-hmm did you know to me that you're allowed to talk on the podcast?
Speaker 12I was just listening. He's a good listener. I got all the kids the same things that you got.
Speaker 2I don't get anything. I'm a sawsher Electric blanket.
Speaker 14Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm yeah you walk exactly all those things.
Speaker 3Well, well, I'm probably not, that's Dinosaurs and that's right.
Speaker 12Yeah.
Speaker 2Now, not just Ewoks. They're the Original 1985 plush Ewoks.
Speaker 3She got a collector's wicket, wicket and Princess Nisa.
Speaker 12Yeah, I dressed up as wicket in the full-on costume when I was about eight years old.
Speaker 3Oh, I really want a wicket costume, like cuz he has this Jedi costume. I really want a wicket costume. But if you look up Women's wicket costume or a woman's Ewok costume, you just get a furry. Oh, a teddy bear. No, like you get, like is.
Speaker 2She wants to be a furry.
Speaker 3I don't want to be a furry.
Speaker 12You just said I want to dress up like wickie fuzzy, assless chaps.
Speaker 2Yes, basically they're really it's a sexy Walk, everything sexy now at the Halloween store. Oh.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2Sexy Sasquatch yeah, they got like a gay black. Sexy Trump costumes. Yeah, everything's sexy.
Speaker 12Just a comb over wig. It's a merkin. It's a comb over merkin, merkin yeah.
Speaker 2Comover merkin just bring the bush back.
Speaker 3Bush baby.
Speaker 5Some people are into that.
Speaker 2I know well. Okay, how about New Year's she party? I guess you did, yeah, why?
Speaker 5Why I don't have kids.
Speaker 2Oh, what'd you do party?
Speaker 4I went to a party. I'm gonna go oh.
Speaker 9Oh, we play zoomie, zoomie and play that holy shit a decade.
Speaker 2She's leaving details out. I think she went to a swing or party was a pineapple party.
Speaker 3No party.
Speaker 2Do they have a upside down pineapple?
Speaker 12on her door Weird Lennox party.
Speaker 5It's just a man to nerds party. We just drank and did drugs and hung out.
Speaker 3I mean like legal drugs. Did you put keys in the ball? Legal drugs?
Speaker 2Yeah, oh, she did. They're probably broke out twister. Naked twist after zoomie, zoomie.
Speaker 3I mean, when else do you play twist on after zoomie, zoomie?
Speaker 2I think you play twist naked twister after Everyone has showered or bathed or taken acid. I Mean you imagine the smells you're gonna get if no one's clean but does see.
Speaker 3Oh, it's not the the goal of naked twister. Well, it's to smell but this smell your sweaty vagina? I'm not smelling anyone's sweaty vagina.
Speaker 9Sweaty on twister.
Speaker 2I've hoped you showered before the party, if you like.
Speaker 4Then you're like the gym and then go play twister, come on.
Speaker 5I'm gonna use a party to her.
Speaker 3You boopin the, the boo boo's. Oh my lord, no me Lord.
Speaker 2No way.
Speaker 3Hey. I have a one-hit limit. Okay, oh, no more. Two hits for me.
Speaker 2You mean shots. Shots are those Tevis.
Speaker 3Yes, yes, I can only have one piece of broccoli not to not to.
Speaker 2Well, okay, what about Valentine's Day? Vd.
Speaker 3VD day.
Speaker 2VD day you get it.
Speaker 3Did you get it. What VD yeah. We didn't we didn't get VD on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2I'm like, oh wait we didn't talk about our new years.
Speaker 3Oh yeah which.
Speaker 4I'll do fucking lame.
Speaker 3Oh, did we do probably nothing, you probably did we do a, we did like a. Oh, we did like a little Party. We did our own little summer party.
Speaker 12No, I did.
Speaker 14I mean, I guess I'm cute.
Speaker 2No, we, we take our nice air mattress.
Speaker 12We put it in the living room up.
Speaker 2We put it in the living room, yeah, and we watch movies and do whatever.
Speaker 5It's fun you make caramel popcorn.
Speaker 2Is that a move?
Speaker 4Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5Hmm, yeah we're into some weird shit.
Speaker 3Hmm you know, that's not true moonbound.
Speaker 5Sex moon bounce. Well, air mattress, moon bounce, I think it doesn't smell like feet, though.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, you never want to do it in a kid's bounce. What? That's how you got pink eye. Yeah, I don't want that. We don't really do much on new years because I don't care about new years I usually don't.
Speaker 5But yeah, I didn't have kids, so Wow we didn't have and mom was like call your dad and he'll come pick you up from your party.
Speaker 3Not called my father Um, I'm a big girl Figured out that's what it was for yeah that's what. I you won't call Uber.
Speaker 5I was like, or I'll just stay at the party.
Speaker 2Why would we call our dad?
Speaker 3I know I'm 40.
Speaker 2I think he's staying in a state of.
Speaker 5Yeah, I'm pretty sure you ate a gummy. So there's? No, he's not moving. No, he's glued to the chair.
Speaker 2He's drooling on himself, and that's not just because of his age, yeah.
Speaker 3So for New Year's Eve to be nothing, nothing, no, we never do even smoke a brisket or nothing.
Speaker 12No.
Speaker 5No, not all American dream, not that I recall no, nothing fun.
Speaker 12Wow, all of our plans were for our Red River vacation.
Speaker 14Must be nice to turn out pretty terrible to be good.
Speaker 4Yeah, didn't you guys say last?
Speaker 14time or hurt. No.
Speaker 3No, I got hurt last, yeah, he got hurt.
Speaker 12The time buddy has something every time. The time for is when I got hurt.
Speaker 5Yeah, diarrhea.
Speaker 12Yes oh. I did you Bola.
Speaker 2I had, it was coming out of all in all.
Speaker 12Mainly yeah, it was a stomach bug. It was horrible and Altitude sickness.
Speaker 2Yeah like all the same time for sure and altitude sickness is weird because you could have been in the mountains 20 times before Never had an issue and then again, and then this one trip. It's like yeah, got you this time got me?
Speaker 3Yeah, it sure did got you right in the butt, hey.
Speaker 12May just drive us home middle of the night.
Speaker 5You didn't say the whole trip.
Speaker 12No.
Speaker 5Oh my god, did you guys? You had to shit.
Speaker 12I had to puke, couldn't stop puking yeah.
Speaker 5Oh my god, you could just went to the doctor.
Speaker 12There isn't one. There is it one? Yeah?
Speaker 5it read river and they're in like Angel fire.
Speaker 2Well, there is, but it's like yeah.
Speaker 12Like it wasn't what.
Speaker 5I'm gonna just get some pep dough.
Speaker 2They may see one of those because I I like hobbled up to them when I fell off the mountain last year and Lady was like, oh, you gotta go to cast.
Speaker 1You better go to the hospital.
Speaker 7Well.
Speaker 2I thought maybe you could at least give me a slinger.
Speaker 3No, just go ahead, get a bit go.
Speaker 7Go to town. Little bats Tell us has the x-ray machine.
Speaker 2What sure.
Speaker 5Street, my one real.
Speaker 4Oh my god, it's not real. Can you turn my head down?
Speaker 2Which one are three, I don't know, maybe.
Speaker 3Oh, now I don't have anything, let's try it. There we go, that's good, thank you.
Speaker 2Yeah, all right On today's kick ruby in the face and yeah, so, and on face, Valentine's Day, we don't do a whole lot either, cuz it we exchanged carts. We do that, and Kissing cards school. Well, we'll go out to dinner Maybe a couple of days after everything so busy because people buy into the Over commercialized holidays.
Speaker 12Sam, yeah, we don't do it.
Speaker 5We went to a brewery the day before what which brewery Prairie?
Speaker 2wait you on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 3She had a mouse in her pocket let you bring your dogs.
Speaker 5They didn't bring dogs, kids, boys, girls. Boys, boys fuck boys fuck boys, lady boys, whatever boys you want.
Speaker 2Yeah, whatever they, they thems his hers Zimzers.
Speaker 5It was a Trivia night. It was gallantines.
Speaker 3Oh, that's, I think we got third.
Speaker 2Third nice, keep shitting. Very nice, very nice, we'll just gonna go crappy tan. So it's gonna make a tick-tock Bachelor dating game with you. Kind of weird, if you have a, are you doing that?
Speaker 5I am doing that, trying to find me a lover.
Speaker 2We're doing it here tonight. It's one of the new segments we started. Yeah one of the new segments we started last year.
Speaker 5I mean I'm still in the market.
Speaker 2Oh damn.
Speaker 5Oh, you know that, yeah, yeah, he doesn't believe in labels.
Speaker 2So oh, is that a point of contention?
Speaker 3That changes my feelings.
Speaker 2You know what you need to do. That's what you need to say yeah, no child, baby. I mean, if he's okay with it, maybe it's not tick-tock bachelor anymore, maybe it's the tick-tock three way. So you get your. You get one of your fantasies fulfilled of having two guys at the same time. So, you can either pick two of the tick-tock bachelors or Any current fuck boy it really.
Speaker 5It really is hotter when it's two chicks. I mean I gotta agree with the guy.
Casual Conversations and Random Musings
Speaker 3What. I don't know how to navigate my own, much less another one.
Speaker 2There's like. What I don't. I don't like my own sack. I couldn't deal with a Another, with an alien sack.
Speaker 3I don't want you to put a sack in your mouth.
Speaker 2No, I don't want it in my room.
Speaker 15In my house.
Speaker 3So one sack only house. Yeah, I just don't know about that's weird.
Speaker 12Well.
Speaker 2I messed up. No no no, I don't need what. What it to guys? What do you want? To be like a pig on a spit. I got you from both ends.
Speaker 3Why are you gonna call me a pig? On a spit, it's not a spik either, that that's like for bad word, I mean my bad guys.
Speaker 2I feel.
Speaker 3I feel like I'm being ashamed. That's on me.
Speaker 4That's right.
Speaker 2Okay, that's on me.
Speaker 3Why couldn't you just been meat on a spit instead of a pig?
Speaker 2Spit. Why so? She wants a thing in the mouth and a thing in the oh you see the spit what yeah, in the butt face.
Speaker 12Yeah, it's either a spit or a yeah, no, no, they call that finger cuffs Like the Chinese finger try your cuffing finger cuffing, I mean. I mean, it's true, it was in a movie who's your cuff what? It was in college we.
Speaker 3Everything have a. Ladies, come on. Oh, I feel like a Chinese finger trap is what they should actually call docking. Maybe they do your trip.
Speaker 2Oh, do you know what docking us to weiner stutching.
Speaker 3No, the foreskin goes. And yeah, the foreskin goes over. That way it feels good docked inside.
Speaker 12What another one?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 5Second one dick come from well, say this guy's uncut right, this guy.
Speaker 2Well, this guy's uncut right here. This guy's uncut yeah this guy's cut, hack me in and like this and then yeah, like a dog like a doom worm.
Speaker 7Yeah.
Speaker 12Oh okay. Yeah, oh, in the turtle.
Speaker 2So the extra baloney on this guy. Yeah, yeah they think they, what do they call that? Pepperage farms?
Speaker 5That's the meat and cheese there. You never done that.
Speaker 9The ham and cheese are you gonna Google it?
Speaker 13No.
Speaker 2No, no, you can find all these things out where you find out about a Indiana you say banger Indiana corn pipe.
Speaker 12Are you gonna Google it? I said no, I'm gonna bang it. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, I said you what you call me, I know. I said you're a banger, be a banger, he didn't hard-heart.
Speaker 12I'm gonna bring it.
Speaker 7Let's cheer, get a hostile cheer off. Hey, I want to.
Speaker 2I want to. I Want y'all to see something real quick, cartwheel of fun, and Okay, let me know who's throwin know, Y'all got your pair.
Speaker 14Oh, did y'all get your pair Trump?
Speaker 3Yeah, did you get your pair official sneaker?
Speaker 12No, that's not real, is it?
Speaker 2No, it's real.
Speaker 12It's real $400.
Speaker 3Oh yeah.
Speaker 12They're sold out, thank God, yeah, they have these shoes are on eBay for like $30,000.
Speaker 2Here's the old potus?
Speaker 3Oh, I've never seen this interesting. Oh no, there you go, victory you get some cologne and perfume. So we can smell like them.
Speaker 12What does that smell? Like this smells like Trump's fingers. Smell so wrong. I don't like it shoebox full of Let by my car trimmings.
Speaker 3Like you cut the lips off.
Speaker 2Does it smell like grabbed a pussy?
Speaker 3chicken lips, yeah, chicken lips wait, what is? Okay, what is it? Oh, probably like champagne.
Speaker 12Oh, it doesn't get a little photo, only Trump yeah, a little froze a it smells like rose in the carpet.
Speaker 3Rose and shame.
Speaker 2Look at that. I know some people that's getting this in their stocking. Yeah, no, they're all liberal too.
Speaker 3Did he photo his face isn't fat.
Speaker 5That's a younger version join what is this on the?
Speaker 3bottom. Join Trump sneaker community. Be part of history. Do your best Trump impression.
Speaker 12I can't be grabbing pussy.
Speaker 2Is huge huge, huge he's gay, your wife's a dog.
Speaker 5I.
Speaker 3Baby, you getting those and wearing them with your cutoff Jorts. No, no for 4th July.
Speaker 2Expensive, but I also want to know if you guys. Trumpy bear got your Trumpy bear yet.
Speaker 3I don't know any of this.
Speaker 5You've never seen.
Speaker 2Trumpy bear.
Speaker 3No, how do you find these? Why do you Google?
Speaker 2I just hear it.
Speaker 3There's a video. There's a Trumpy bear video.
Speaker 2I don't want to play it, cuz I don't want to get spammed, oh I don't want to play it. No, we won't play that, just yeah, just enjoy looking at it. Oh.
Speaker 5That'll be like a. Republican.
Speaker 2No, my first thought when I heard that there was a Trumpy bear. What if Goldie locks walked in on this family of bears?
Speaker 5Will she eat their porridge?
Speaker 2No, they need hers. Oh, they probably all these little bears grabbing Goldie locks by the Dave golden.
Speaker 5Golden porridge today.
Speaker 2She'd have to watch Trump and somebody.
Speaker 3Did a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1China.
Speaker 2Your game. I can't do it. I'm not good at impression. You're gay, okay, I said it, you're gay I. Can't do. I had to do this audition a few weeks ago For just one little line. I was playing like a goon for this mob boss and I had to say this line with a thick Brooklyn accent, like Tony, like that. I had to say Does it have to be a Chinese joint? I have to be a Chinese joint. It took me 25 takes 25 to even get one that was Brooklyn. Okay, I gotta submit something.
Speaker 5What's a Brooklyn, though, like very what you did?
Speaker 12you look up some.
Speaker 3Yeah, oh yeah, I watched clips we watched so many Brooklyn accent New York accent.
Speaker 2There's still a little bit different, like Boston is way different.
Speaker 3Well, unlike, a Long Island Accent is different from a Brooklyn accent is different from a Queens.
Speaker 2I feel like Brooklyn is more harsh. Yeah, there's gotta be a Chinese joint. Like I can't do it, my voice just gets like Kermit frog.
Speaker 4So I can't do accents.
Speaker 2I can't do impressions anymore, oh wow.
Speaker 3Lost it.
Speaker 2I lost it, lost it all lost.
Speaker 3I'll tell you that was the funniest audition I ever got to. Funny.
Speaker 13I was laughing my ass off the wall oh man, I look fat.
Speaker 2Stop judging. You can see yourself, jesus. Yeah, I'm monitoring over here. Great, yeah, no, everyone you guys look. Great, I'm makes fatty McFatters. Stop it I.
Speaker 5Just fluctuate.
Speaker 2Well, what else is going on stretchy pants? I don't know what else can we update our wonderful fans on what? Oh, I have the little podcast intro video now. Very cool, that was done by AI. My video the video that played, didn't you see it? I was watching.
Speaker 12Did you play the song that came up with the?
Speaker 2idea. I uploaded the AI To the website and kind of told it what I wanted and now we're gonna play it again. So for Taylor, this is oh, you know what, everyone that just heard that. It's gonna be very echoey in your ears and I apologize.
Speaker 4Yeah, sorry, so my bad.
Speaker 2Sorry, blame it on her.
Speaker 3So we went to what'd you say any better? We went to a Toby Keith RIP like a Toby Keith I don't know, like Charity night or whatever, last weekend. Yeah you know, we heard not a single Toby Keith song. What?
Speaker 4the whole time we were there charity at a Toby.
Speaker 3Keith event. It was very weird.
Speaker 2Well they play Barth, no anything. I know what they did, what they were like. I don't think very many people are gonna show up for this band that we hired, so let's just call it a Toby Keith Memorial Party oh.
Speaker 4And they, they had so much business.
Speaker 2Because then, as we're walking in at about what, 7, 30, 8 o'clock?
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 2This guy is walking out of the parking lot and he goes oh, there's a band.
Speaker 13Get ready to go on. Man, I'm looking raw.
Speaker 2Are we at the right spot, Anyway. Wow, so this band starts playing.
Speaker 12He's our number one groupie.
Speaker 3He must have been like man, they're only one because they were not good.
Speaker 2They played Too hard to handle by the black crows, yeah, and they had to do the solo like three times, like I don't. They got like Messed up where they were in the song and it wasn't a good solo.
Speaker 3No no.
Speaker 2I think I could accidentally pick those notes and they were messing up the lyrics anyway, like yeah, so we left, we're also hungry.
Speaker 3I want some wings Do you get a swirl.
Speaker 2Do you get their wings there?
Speaker 12Yeah, Chips and souls. I know you're a wing guy.
Speaker 5I haven't been there since girls day 2020.
Speaker 3Girls day 2020 COVID. That was a great day. Wait, was it, covid?
Speaker 5That's 2020.
Speaker 3Well, I know, but I'm probably would have been open though. Outside they were outside. Oh no, it was because then the host got cobalt. Oh yeah, that's right, and we were.
Speaker 2We didn't have, so we had a girls was that day drinking before the nationwide Chicken wing shortage?
Speaker 3Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2so we had a sisters day, chickens went on strike during.
Speaker 3Fuck you bitch. We had a sisters day. We drank, did we drank a lot on?
Speaker 2a drink, it you drank did yeah.
Speaker 3And we drank, did alcohol, and then we decided we're gonna make tie-dye shirts for fuck the July, we're gonna be stuck, yeah. So then we, drunk, went to Walmart, couldn't figure out what to get. We were in the middle of finally getting things and then Courtney gets phone call and says uh, madhouse, covid, so fourth of July, we and we didn't make the shirts. So we wait and got more alcohol and came back over here and talked about lingerie and Frenchine.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, because that makes me uncomfortable and makes her uncomfortable.
Speaker 12She's drunk, she didn't know. Loads of ray talk.
Speaker 5With your brother. Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 5Yeah, I forgot Mm-hmm oh.
Speaker 2She even got weirded out during Casey's wedding shower my bridal shower.
Speaker 3She's pulling out. Want to see what your.
Speaker 2Brother's gonna Fondle yeah, you weren't looking at her tits. I have, oh.
Speaker 3Oh, all girls look at other girls tits, so You're uncomfortable with everyone looks at tits.
Speaker 2You know what I'm comfortable with? Hmm, I'll tell you, I'm uncomfortable with guys sharing Like porn clips between each other they do yeah porn clips.
Speaker 3Yeah, I don't like what kind of porn clips? I don't do that. I let's say like a real, I know a couple of guys that do Corn chip free and hoes and chip point clips.
Speaker 2I find it weird because you probably sent like a real Hot and steamy video, right? Well, if you're watching it, are you getting hard at the same exact moment in the video that your friend did? Yeah, yeah who that?
Speaker 12weird. Well, and then it made me think of you, so I I Think that's the weirdest.
Speaker 2Hey, I finished at six minutes and 31 seconds.
Speaker 3Yeah something in common we're orgasm brothers. I just think that's weird. What if it is your brother?
Speaker 4Well, that's questionable by itself but I meant that your brother's the one sending you the clip.
Speaker 3Oh.
Speaker 6Oh.
Speaker 3Like that at all.
Speaker 6That's weird, that's weird, so should.
Speaker 2I stop sending you those tick tocks.
Speaker 3Please have been waiting for the right time to tell you All of them.
Speaker 5Point, point point Go lay down the golden shower.
Speaker 1That is that is.
Speaker 9And you don't want to not anymore.
Speaker 3You don't want to do.
Speaker 2I'm semi Get uncomfortable talking about lingerie, and you're just now talking about general, just with her bro. Lopping around your face.
Speaker 5I'm just joking, I don't really have dick slopping around.
Speaker 3Lopping God, that's that's infected.
Speaker 7Oh Like.
Speaker 2Slopping is what a limp one does, it slap.
Speaker 5Oh, I think that's what it goes in the butthole on accident Sloppin.
Speaker 2Just relax, relax and let it happen push to you feel the click. I want everybody's attention on the TV. You're gonna see two videos of me.
Speaker 3See one now either really want to make this transition from porn videos.
Speaker 2To see they're gonna be me now or me in like 10, 15 years.
Speaker 15Okay, we're guessing.
Speaker 6Yes yeah.
Speaker 12What's a Damn spring.
Speaker 5I'm spring sleepin, sleepin here.
Speaker 3So much spittle Chinese club. That's Brooklyn right there. No, that's Long Island, that's you right now 360.
Speaker 5Look at us, look at it Squirrels.
Speaker 1Squirrels.
Speaker 5We had shit.
Speaker 6It's just like a fucking squirrel Orange bands.
Speaker 1Everything's fucked up.
Speaker 8Shit, shit.
Speaker 3I like him. That's you right now.
Speaker 2That is you right now.
Speaker 4So, not a few years.
Speaker 2That's it now. That was you Tuesday.
Speaker 3Pretty much. I'll give you like five years before. You're the first video of him Shitty shitty bad, bad.
Speaker 13I heard myself taking a shit.
Speaker 2That might have been me earlier up in the attic. Casey wanted me to get some books out of the attic Books on books. Why?
Speaker 3do you have so many goddamn books? Because I breed Breed.
Speaker 9Breed, I don't breed but, I do breed. She's an owl.
Speaker 3She's not even reading. She do be reading, I guess she reads in the attic it's hot out there, you have a lounge there. I went on a squirrel.
Speaker 5Don't look in there. Don't look in there.
Speaker 3Now it's time we're playing a game.
Speaker 5Now we are. Oh god, I'm gonna throw up.
Speaker 3You won't, I didn't have anything else to do. Oh, no, guests, first you can't look in the bag.
Speaker 2Oh, it's about to come out.
Speaker 3Do you want?
Speaker 2me to reach in and grab one for you.
Speaker 3No, he has to reach in you, better close your eyes.
Speaker 9You can't look at it, oh fuck that.
Speaker 2Do you want to do it?
Speaker 12Put your hand in the sack. I tucked it in my sack.
Speaker 3Don't look at it. Get in there deep, don't look at it.
Speaker 12I can feel her hand in the bag.
Speaker 3Like it was on my sack.
Speaker 2We're missing one.
Speaker 12To the left.
Speaker 2To the left, to the right? I guess this is mine.
Speaker 5You lucky dick.
Speaker 3What's everybody drinking Peppermint.
Speaker 2Cherry limeade.
Speaker 5Salted caramel whiskey.
Speaker 3Upside down pineapple. Oh, we have to shoot it.
Speaker 6Oh, my God, oh really.
Speaker 3We asked them hey, we're going to liquor store, anybody want anything? And Taylor said surprise us.
Speaker 12Surprise motherfucker.
Speaker 5Can you open this for me?
Speaker 2You're such a baby girl, I don't think anybody heard the video that we just played. No, I'm not sure what you got, because I have the desktop audio muted. You can't open it.
Speaker 3You can't open it.
Speaker 15After this Peppermint or sugar.
Speaker 2You should have a little finger.
Speaker 3Why would you shit?
Speaker 2Hold me right here.
Speaker 15Here we go. I injured myself taking a shit, you're a shit. And now I'm also starting to get cramps at night when I sleep. I'm going to get a hamstring cramp in the middle of the night while you're sleeping, or calf cramps. The fuck is going on. I'm sleeping, I'm not running a marathon. I know, I know. I know Everyone says the same thing oh, you got to drink more water. If I drink more water, then I had to get up and piss every 15 fucking minutes.
Speaker 3I can't drink more water, that's you, we're going to have a basement.
Speaker 1We have a basement. We have a basement.
Speaker 3The garage is full of shit.
Speaker 13I think it's full of shit?
Speaker 7Look at this Fuck, it's squire, squire, the horror.
Speaker 15We hide shit all over the fucking house. Orange bins Got the Christmas shit in it.
Speaker 12Red bins Got the Halloween shit in it. Everything's fucked up. That's me and the addict right now.
Speaker 15Oh cause she always in a rush.
Speaker 12I was putting away the other stuff into the new stuff and then put the stuff in that red one. It makes sense what.
Speaker 8Give it to the apostles. Give it to the apostles. Give it to the fun stuff. Give it to the fun stuff.
Speaker 13Hey, stop stopping. Hey, I got an idea.
Speaker 15What shit inside of a shit. This way we save more room to add more shit.
Speaker 2Go lay down, remember the castle of monkeys is a barrel full of shit.
Speaker 15Shit inside of shit, shit of shitty shit.
Speaker 1Bang bang Bang bang Shit of shitty shit.
Speaker 3Bang, bang Okay.
Speaker 5There we go.
Speaker 2Now shots hey yours isn't open.
Speaker 3I'm scared. I hate you. Trayline Cheers.
Speaker 7Oh god.
Speaker 2Oh god.
Speaker 4Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 12I can smell her pepper I can't do this, I can't.
Speaker 5Oh god.
Speaker 16I might die.
Speaker 3Don't die. Oh shit, she might actually barf, oh god.
Speaker 7La, la, la, la la.
Speaker 2I'm glad you're still on camera.
Speaker 3My neck hurt my mouth.
Speaker 13Woo.
Speaker 7Oh god.
Speaker 9I'm not doing this, you do it.
Speaker 2It's your fault. She did get the worst one, I gotta say.
Speaker 3It burns.
Speaker 2If this salted caramel didn't burn so bad, but this salted caramel would have been pretty fucking good.
Speaker 3The side of my tongue.
Speaker 12No the.
Speaker 5The sides of my tongue hurt oh god Darn it Anything other than peppermint, patty Scissor please lay down Scissor up.
Speaker 2Go yeah, tibialyte.
Speaker 3Are you really going to eat the peppermint?
Speaker 12Yeah, I'm going to sip on it.
Speaker 3I didn't know that you don't like anything, peppermint, no, it's like you don't know your peppermint patties Wintergreen.
Speaker 5No.
Speaker 3I mean, I like mint chocolate chip, I'll do two. Yes, we hear your farts.
Speaker 12Stop it.
Speaker 3It was a pH fart that tastes like robotastic. It was so hot.
Speaker 12The other night at midnight Jess and I were talking about what if.
Speaker 9What are you?
Speaker 12doing. You know how the word fat became like a good thing.
Speaker 5Yeah, like pH fat.
Speaker 12So we started thinking of other things that we could change, like what Like farts, you know pH fart.
Speaker 9You smell like tea.
Speaker 4Is that like a swimming pool?
Speaker 9Yeah, plourini fart.
Speaker 2You're taking your probiotics.
Speaker 3That's fish.
Speaker 6You don't want that fish one, though Not that fish one.
Speaker 13That's a pH tuna. Wait.
Speaker 1I saw a tuna.
Speaker 3I taste Nyquil.
Speaker 14Yeah, because you drink Nyquil.
Speaker 3What you do.
Speaker 5Although it's not going to have the same effect because I like drinking Nyquil.
Speaker 2I do too because, I really like going into a coma. It is nice.
Speaker 12I like the taste of Nyquil.
Speaker 3No, I like the effect. You're dirty Because he likes peppermint. You're so gross.
Speaker 5You're so nasty? What if?
Speaker 3Boy Toys Dick tasted like peppermint.
Speaker 5I would be unfortunate, but it is not, but it is not.
Speaker 2What does it taste like.
Speaker 12Fresh. I thought you said fresh, I thought you said fresh, like you only suck his dick when he comes out of the
Speaker 3shower.
Speaker 13Yeah, a hint of piss.
Speaker 5No. What if the?
Speaker 12blowjob tasted like your favorite flavor.
Speaker 2What would your flavor be? Strawberry.
Speaker 12What did you say Tideye?
Speaker 4Like the fruit roll-ups. You said flavor.
Speaker 3Flavor, you did taffy.
Speaker 2I couldn't get it out. Sea water. I can't wait to pull that sound bite your favorite flavor.
Speaker 3Why you put taffy. Oh no, the speech benefit is coming back. It's coming back.
Speaker 12How's some more peppermint?
Speaker 4What.
Speaker 2Hey, you want some cherry-wine made.
Speaker 6All those special-ed classes didn't work.
Speaker 9Oh, you want some soccer-como.
Speaker 3What are they? Speech is just speech. What did she say? She? Said out of those special-ed classes worked for you. What's the special-ed?
Speaker 8No, sorry, in grade school I was slightly I can't say that it's impaired.
Speaker 2Can I burp on this show? Nope.
Speaker 13Only farts.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 12May I have my mascara.
Speaker 7No.
Speaker 9I'm not wearing a mask. May I have my mascara? Oh, no.
Speaker 3What was the?
Speaker 8question again.
Speaker 2I don't know your favorite flavor.
Speaker 4I still almost messed up. What is your favorite?
Speaker 2Not flesh what? Is your favorite flavor Of all time.
Speaker 3If everything could taste like this thing, what would it be?
Speaker 7Cock-a-doodle-doo. Cock-a-doodle-doo what?
Speaker 2is cock-a-flavor.
Speaker 9I mean, I really like mac and cheese, that's fair.
Speaker 12But you wouldn't want a cock-taste like mac and cheese.
Speaker 1Oh my god.
Speaker 2But, if giving blowjobs tasted like mac and cheese. How often would you be given blowjobs?
Speaker 5More often.
Speaker 12I mean, I really like pork roast, but I'm not like it.
Speaker 1You don't want a giant pork roast?
Speaker 12No, what about it? Normal twang Normal twang.
Speaker 2That's the a-joo. How did I say?
Speaker 3No, I was just repeating because it was funny. Did I say it right?
Speaker 12A-joo. If you don't, that's the dipping sauce I could be anti-semitic.
Speaker 3That's the beef.
Speaker 12There's sauce.
Speaker 3What like a French dip? No, Not that roast beef your favorite flavor. All of it.
Speaker 12All of it Wait so you want.
Speaker 3You want a dipping sauce.
Speaker 12He said no Roast is my favorite, my favorite meal.
Speaker 2I don't want licking Cunalingus. He doesn't want to taste in roast beef.
Speaker 12Okay, well, let them.
Speaker 5Normal twang. You had it equated to a flavor. I don't know, what normal twang tastes like.
Speaker 9Vagina, I don't know, key lime pie, I don't know I'm not looking at the gene.
Speaker 2I already said, I only want two dicks, no clits Two. I don't want another dick, oh that.
Speaker 7Well sorry.
Speaker 3You finished it. My belly's on fire right now.
Speaker 12Just go lick a penny. You want to lick a penny. You want to lick a penny.
Speaker 5I don't but that's a vagina. Sorry guys, that's dirty though.
Speaker 3I don't want that.
Speaker 4Is that why?
Speaker 2you don't do that Give me a roll of pennies.
Speaker 3Maybe it's because you don't ask, maybe it's dimes. Oh, she asks.
Speaker 12Shame.
Speaker 7Shame, no, your name, let's go to commercial.
Speaker 3Yeah, I experience eclectic difficulties.
Speaker 2Raw fare.
Speaker 5Well, that's unfortunate, that is fun, agreed.
Speaker 3It just stopped, right now Did y'all hear that You're uncomfortable.
Speaker 4That was a robot.
Speaker 2Just for me though.
Speaker 3Uncomfortable robot. What?
Speaker 12are you looking at?
Speaker 1I'm just looking at myself. You're like this is a sick toys man. They are, can we play?
Forgetful Misadventures and Entertainment Frustrations
Speaker 3with your toys, and there's a lot more than there used to be. Which is your favorite toy? You? Can play with my toys you want to play Jack Joe.
Speaker 2I don't think I've ever seen this.
Speaker 5Molly watches this YouTube and is a grown man and he plays the girl.
Speaker 9And the little boy part. The little boy part has a space impediment and he's like no, sister, I don't care what you say and my little grown man is playing this character.
Speaker 3He gets paid to do that. That's fucking wild.
Speaker 5I'm always like Molly watch something else and she's like it's funny.
Speaker 2I'm like.
Speaker 5I could have made money off my speech. Impediment.
Speaker 2God damn it mom and dad.
Speaker 12Molly tries to talk with the speech impediment Shit.
Speaker 5No, she just watches it.
Speaker 12My daughter has a best friend that has a speech impediment.
Speaker 4Oh.
Speaker 12I just want to talk like her.
Speaker 3Older or daughter, older or younger, daughter, younger or younger, she's just that makes sense.
Speaker 5Let's just speak. Impediments Like what I have.
Speaker 2You remember? Yeah, like ours.
Speaker 9You couldn't say it's awesome.
Speaker 12You couldn't, I went through like all in Well.
Speaker 4Sometimes, Sometimes, not always.
Speaker 5Barely Sometimes I get confused.
Speaker 3That's some peppermint.
Speaker 12Peppermint, that's not a speech impediment.
Speaker 15That's a plantation worker no.
Speaker 3It's not any kind of disability you just from saying what it was.
Speaker 2A peppermint.
Speaker 3It's a peppermint messa, oh hey.
Speaker 2God damn it Petzle.
Speaker 7Petzle.
Speaker 2It's been a good run.
Speaker 12Been a good run.
Speaker 3Have you watched? I knew how to speak to put a bit. Have you guys watched? What is it called Saltburn? No, no, but I have questions. Bass, I kept wanting to say Lance Bass.
Speaker 2No, it's not Lance.
Speaker 3Bass, bass Reeves. What do you know?
Speaker 7What's it called? No, I don't have money.
Speaker 3It's really good.
Speaker 13You. This is America, you dumb son of a bitch.
Speaker 5Ruby, ruby looks very confusing.
Speaker 12I stopped paying for paramount over a year ago.
Speaker 3So you're not going to be able to watch Yellowstone.
Speaker 12I had it For free for the past year.
Speaker 4Well free.
Speaker 3Until about two weeks ago.
Speaker 12It's now just the login and sign up screen. Son of a bitch.
Speaker 4They caught up. To me, that's always the worst, they always do.
Speaker 5Have you seen.
Speaker 2Saltburn. I like Halo.
Speaker 3What is it? Why are people so weird about it? Weird man.
Speaker 2Is it?
Speaker 13like.
Funny Videos and Random Conversations
Speaker 2Black Mirror. Weird Because we couldn't get past the first episode. First episode Black Mirror.
Speaker 3Fuck me.
Speaker 2Fuck a pig.
Speaker 3I'm out. Bestiality, bestiality. At one point we're both sitting on the couch, curled up.
Speaker 2You're good, let's go watch professional wrestling.
Speaker 3The episode ended and we both looked at each other. I said I don't like that, I don't like that at all.
Speaker 12I put this pre-roll by my phone and keys, because I know I'm not going to forget the pre-roll.
Speaker 6Oh, my God Addicted.
Speaker 3Tibi lost his Well lost air quotes, lost his wallet in Red River, new Mexico, about a month ago and we kept saying I bet it's in your stuff, I bet it's in your stuff. They moved furniture. They looked all over the cabin. He would have unbolted the seats in his truck. He's been able to.
Speaker 2He's spent hours on the phone making sure his cards were. You know the old work face. You know the old work face.
Speaker 3Hey Tibi, where was it? It?
Speaker 12was in my bag.
Speaker 3Your bag when he got home.
Speaker 12He found it when he got home One of those leather kind of bags and they have a pocket where you would put dirty clothes.
Speaker 2Or shoes or condoms.
Speaker 3I'm going to put my wallet in there.
Speaker 8Do you remember when you?
Speaker 3found it. Did you remember putting it there? I do.
Speaker 2It always happens.
Speaker 12I remember.
Speaker 5And you thought I'll remember this Exactly.
Speaker 2I remember, we all do that right, it's not just me I'm putting it here.
Speaker 3I will definitely remember. No, that's me. I will remember Today. That happened today. We bought duct tape, right yeah? And I said yeah, you have duct tape.
Speaker 12Where is it like?
Speaker 3I'm not making it up. We really bought that. Yes, I remember we bought duct tape. Where is it?
Speaker 2I don't know.
Speaker 3No, can't find it.
Speaker 2Oh my god, I found another roll of duct tape, but it wasn't a new roll, Nope.
Speaker 3I know that for sure, so I have no idea where it's at. One day we're gonna find it and be like, oh no shit that's all right, I would put it there. There it is.
Speaker 4Oh.
Speaker 2You're gonna eat it Muff burger I just want to put my fur burger. Oh are you throwing?
Speaker 13Oh god.
Speaker 2All right.
Speaker 3Wait, what are we getting ready to do?
Speaker 2What are we getting ready to do? Get ready to watch some funny videos.
Speaker 3Can you wait for me to go tinkle?
Speaker 2God dang it yeah thank you. Can you put her behind, put a gate somewhere.
Speaker 5She is ban.
Speaker 3Ish Is bad goal and yes, they are Martinez.
Speaker 2Yes yeah and they got to. They got to see your booty. Babe, you're trying to upstage me. I don't like, oh, booty, I don't like that. Look at that booty girl, I'm switching the camera view when you come back across that booty.
Speaker 15They got him. But don't, good dog, let's go full throttle. He said full throttle.
Speaker 12Let's go full throttle. I don't usually have hair, it feels weird, oh.
Speaker 5Here. Oh, why'd you grow it?
Speaker 12Cuz winter, winter time. He grows out as fur and winter feel like shaving and stuff and then they'll get hot and you will. My beer it did. It got really hot and I was like man, my beard is so hot and it's so thick it holds water Like a full gallon. Wow, I can do this.
Speaker 5I can say hydrated, though I wish mine could.
Speaker 2I was trapped. I'm a pretty good. Mine's pretty thin. You got a pretty good beard. Yeah, you keep, you got to keep it shaved.
Speaker 4I know she has.
Speaker 2Shadows at the end of the work day I'm like god damn, I gotta shave again.
Speaker 12I like the boots, though I like the color.
Speaker 15Thanks, man.
Speaker 12I know, it's weird after this I.
Speaker 2Some good boots, you know boots are only good if you do have a good color, though there are some that are just all right, I'm ugly.
Speaker 12I just don't like wearing pants. What to wear? My boots, so like if I go to work or something? I definitely, if it's cold enough, I wear my kid. You can wear your, because they make you feel tall.
Speaker 5I like you can wear boots because you feel a little fancy but a little casual.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'll wear boots, yeah.
Speaker 5That's why I like boots.
Speaker 12I mean, you're taller than me, I'm barely barely five nine, but.
Speaker 2I do like wearing my boots with my cutoff jeans shortings. I do like that look.
Speaker 5That's a look. Hey, stop it. Oh my god.
Speaker 12That's going in the private collection.
Speaker 2Yeah, I gotta, I gotta like pay for that sensor. My editing work just got harder now. Thank, you.
Speaker 3If I keep you busy on the computer and then I have more time to read my Can't spankin at all.
Speaker 5I live with three girls in my house and they do not respect privacy at all you might be in the shower and Ryland will come in and like hey, dad can.
Speaker 12I have a swim in my life.
Speaker 3Do you guys just have a lot of sex? I mean, excuse me if you can't spank it. I feel like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, well, that's good. Wow. He says yeah, sure.
Speaker 12Yeah, I mean, you're doing a lot of.
Speaker 3Sorry, jess. A lot of empties.
Speaker 2I mean it's not sex necessarily what do you mean Empties, those, those? Might do better when you talk to the horse in front of it.
Speaker 12So what's the plan? You know, the top of it is gonna kind of mute your voice, stick your hand in the shower.
Speaker 3I don't know I need an empty. You just stuck your hand in the shower.
Speaker 5Why is your headphones like that?
Speaker 2He hears through his temple.
Speaker 5I thought you were like oh cool there was a bone conductor.
Speaker 3So we were a bone conductor, bone conductor, bone collector.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 3Have you not seen those bone conductions like Headphones? What?
Speaker 2Turn the bass up on this one.
Speaker 13Bone collector.
Speaker 2I'm sorry people, that is the worst. Asmr.
Speaker 3I can't watch ASMR if it brings me out.
Speaker 7I just went to do any of that.
Speaker 5No, I already hear that I hate it.
Speaker 2Do you hear that in your head? Just voices.
Speaker 3What demons do you Girl?
Speaker 4She's got demons. We all have demons right and sometimes they come out.
Speaker 1He's gotta go.
Speaker 4But hole fucker Gotta go oh anal leakage.
Speaker 5I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3Is that your real bone? Tell your real hole. I said was that your real butt?
Speaker 12But, yeah is that your real hole? It's better. It was my fake butt.
Speaker 3Fuck. You guys are doing good, is that your?
Speaker 8real hole.
Speaker 3Hey, what's her name? Can we name her? Who? Who, that lady? What?
Speaker 2Fuck.
Speaker 3You guys are doing good, that's a lady, it's a Chinese man.
Speaker 2That's a lady.
Speaker 3That's a lady.
Speaker 2It's this one.
Speaker 3Oh my lord, that's a dude.
Speaker 9That's not a dude.
Speaker 2It's still a dude, not a dude, that is not any lady.
Speaker 9I'd ever want a lady. Here we go, son of a bitch.
Speaker 3It sounds like that one comedian. What was his name? A dude.
Speaker 16Dirty bitch.
Speaker 3What was that guy, that comedian's name Louis Anderson?
Speaker 2What kind of ladies are you? Louis? That's a dude, no, no, I'm saying it sounds like Louis.
Speaker 3Anderson, but it's not Louis Anderson.
Speaker 2You don't know who the moose soup lady is.
Speaker 3Yeah, on YouTube.
Speaker 2No on YouTube.
Speaker 3On sidefile.
Speaker 2They have a moose soup lady, not more soup or no soup, that's the soup Nazi, jesus Fuck.
Speaker 6Soup Jesus.
Speaker 3Whatever?
Speaker 6Jesus.
Speaker 3What do you?
Speaker 12likey Nazi. I saw that belt and I thought it was one of those swatch watch.
Speaker 3Jesus on the wall. Oh, that's something that's happened since the park cafe.
Speaker 5I thought there was someone behind us. I got scared.
Speaker 12I thought it was a wall swatch, watch what's it clock.
Speaker 2No, that's not from Flava Flay.
Speaker 3Flava Flay, flava Flay. I loved that show.
Speaker 2There's something special about it. Now, Casey bought me this little kid's. Aew championship belt Cause we're AEW fans, yeah, but there is an elbow pad up there and my favorite pro wrestler and AEW is Orange Cassidy. Orange Cassidy, he threw that elbow pad to me Really. We went in Oklahoma City. It was like here and we were right. By the stage we could fill the fire from the pyro techniques.
Speaker 4Like this year.
Speaker 3February.
Speaker 2February no, not February, january January.
Speaker 3January.
Speaker 2We're in an Orange Cassidy shirt and a jean jacket. Right.
Speaker 5Squirrel, you're like a squirrel.
Speaker 3A squirrel.
Speaker 5Fingering everything over here.
Speaker 6Keep your pants on.
Speaker 2We just put the shit inside of more shit on top of other shit, shitty shitty gang gang.
Speaker 3Shitty shitty bang bang, not gang bang, jesus Christ. Shitty shitty gang bang.
Speaker 2Gang bang shitty shitty gang bang.
Speaker 3Shitty shitty gang bang, that's a lot of anal. I know there's shit involved.
Speaker 2You can probably find that on it's probably a movie.
Speaker 3It is probably a movie Y'all ready.
Speaker 2for funny videos Y'all ready for this. I was going to open the show with this one video and I totally forgot, so we're going to watch it now. You suck Shocker.
Speaker 12I know.
Speaker 7I'm not good at producing.
Speaker 12No shocker. Oh, what's this?
Speaker 2Fart it back now, y'all. Fart it back, turn it up.
Speaker 12One fart this time. Two farts this time.
Speaker 2Everybody fart your hands.
Speaker 3I'm kind of doing it. He's so serious, oh, he's straining His mustache. Why is that happening, fart to the right.
Speaker 2Fart to the right, real smooth now. Isn't it always smooth, though?
Speaker 3No, it's not always smooth, sometimes it hurts.
Speaker 2Sometimes it's like crunchy.
Speaker 5It's like I'm going to post it. I'm going to post it, dude, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 3He took time to write it Fart to the right. He took time to write it, produce it.
Speaker 12Record it. This is so good.
Speaker 3I'm going to post it.
Speaker 9I have some stuff on my phone and it's never seen the light of day.
Speaker 3I can't imagine what things are on your phone.
Speaker 7It's probably bad. I can't imagine posting.
Speaker 6Posting something.
Speaker 12I might have spit up some peppermint on that. There's some shit on my phone that will not see the light of day, but the people just posted it.
Speaker 1People just posted it. It's your home alone singing sessions.
Speaker 3You don't have that.
Speaker 2No, I don't have that.
Speaker 13I don't have that.
Speaker 12No.
Speaker 2All right.
Speaker 12Sint, those are all in here, Sint.
Speaker 2It is. We have to play this fart compilation I have for you guys. Farts are so fun.
Speaker 3Is this what you've been saving for months and months Possibly?
Speaker 2Okay, it's all up.
Speaker 10How's work?
Speaker 1Oh my god, vaghtap.
Speaker 8Ninja magic.
Speaker 3Oh, no, ninja magic.
Speaker 12Vaghtapter and shoo-choo Vaghtapter, that was a dude. Oh, it was.
Speaker 18Sorry, dude.
Speaker 1That was a dude, that was a tux.
Speaker 3I'm sorry, dude.
Speaker 9Vaghtapter. What's a Vaghtap anyway?
Speaker 3Wait, are you saying Vaghtap? Yes, do you?
Speaker 9Vaghtap girls.
Speaker 12Always.
Speaker 3Well, I thought Taylor said Vaghtap, no, I don't, but you're also a Vaghtap dude?
Speaker 12No, I thought he was a guy who had a video of Vaghtap and his wife. Like Vaghtap Do you do that to your wife, of course.
Speaker 3Are you real? I'm going to now. I'm fucking Lutely now. You're not. I'm going to get ready for nut tabs.
Speaker 12Oil check I do that to him all the time.
Speaker 3Credit card. No, I get real mad if he walks by I'll get right up in there too.
Speaker 12Credit card three feet off the ground.
Speaker 3Rejected. I get really mad if Shane walks by and doesn't touch my butt. I really do. I started thinking that he doesn't love me anymore.
Speaker 2You hate me in my butt Every time she oil checks me.
Speaker 12My wife knows.
Speaker 3Credit card swiping.
Speaker 12Dad joke.
Speaker 9I'm the Vaghtap people now.
Speaker 2This is.
Speaker 3Ah, Same girl same.
Speaker 2This is fucking Ninja Fartin right here.
Speaker 6Ninja fartin.
Speaker 8I'm not gonna watch.
Speaker 3He dropped.
Speaker 12Can you pause that?
Speaker 7Dropped his cat food.
Speaker 3Rewind that just a little bit. Did they have shoes on? I think it was socks and sandals.
Speaker 5The one who got scared. Okay they did.
Speaker 12I just want to make sure, oh yeah.
Speaker 8I'm ready. They don't tell the wild boar.
Speaker 13Jesus.
Speaker 10I love stairwells.
Speaker 12It's like when you hop going through a tunnel, you have to fart. I'm not gonna fart.
Speaker 1You have a problem.
Speaker 12That's a kid on a minibike.
Speaker 5You have a gastrointestinal problem. You need to go to the doctor.
Speaker 4Oh, my god.
Speaker 12What the fuck she was holding that you gotta go to the doctor, I had beans at lunch, guys.
Speaker 3Calm down, beans, stop, there's a.
Speaker 9A hot diarrhea.
Speaker 2I always like it when it's a long fart. You think there's a little rebuttal Rebuttal.
Speaker 3Rebuttal.
Speaker 2Next video I think Hold on.
Speaker 6That's the same one.
Speaker 5That's the dude.
Speaker 3That's a girl, it's a girl Back it up. Why that tape Keep going Back up All the way to the beginning? That's not a girl. He does have a beard, so I'm gonna go with those I'll show you childbearing hips.
Speaker 8I'm sick. I'm so confused Among flushes from here, it doesn't help.
Speaker 12Oh, is that it.
Speaker 2Maybe that was the last one. It lasted like a minute yeah.
Speaker 5Oh my god.
Speaker 2You gotta love fart videos, come on.
Speaker 12That's kind of it Now.
Speaker 2Part one Of the funny TikTok videos.
Speaker 3Good.
Speaker 2Those were just farts, because this is the laugh until we fart podcast. We gotta have fart compilations on here.
Speaker 3I mean, come on, here we go, Uh Me.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, the New Year of 2024 welcomes you. That was man, new Year's.
Speaker 6It was like where the fuck am I what?
Speaker 3That was me, that was you.
Speaker 2No, that was dad coming to pick her up. I'll go get her.
Speaker 16Oh, no, just one more thing this is sad One thing in this world that you need to know what is it Grayna no one's gonna have the guts to tell you.
Language and Slang Evolution
Speaker 8My ugly face. I have been prepared for it.
Speaker 7She's got a big beaver. She's got a big beaver. Learn how to give a good blow job. She's just perfect. Amen sister.
Speaker 3Amen, I want that to be my last words, my final words to the planet. Learn how to give good blow jobs. Oh, that's me.
Speaker 13She's got a fat ass. No fucking chance I can handle all that. Not even gonna say hello, just gonna go home and watch Russia to meet some cool rancherito. That's a shame, that was a problem. My second favorite kind Of Dorito, of Dorito. That was shame. Before he met me.
Speaker 3That's me right now that is a real shame, that is a real shame. Cool ranch Doritos.
Speaker 2We got some bottle rockets. Granny, I love this guy. Oh my god.
Speaker 12Watch it again. Can we do that to mom? No, she'll die. You motherfucker, you motherfucker, you got some bass.
Speaker 3I like that guy.
Speaker 2I think this is where I messed up in the video Big time.
Speaker 18We'll get the point across as in. That was an awesome evening, cool.
Speaker 3What are you doing?
Speaker 2Here we go, here we go, god damn.
Speaker 3I couldn't get fucking Instagram so close.
Speaker 18What the fuck the times you know that awesome or big time. We'll get the point across, as in that was an awesome evening segment I just saw. Well, here are some other phrases you want to know if you want to be sure to sound hip in the 90s Yo A greeting, yo Curb what's up, clutch the pearls Said in amazement or disbelief. Well, you know he's married. Clutch the pearls In the 80s. It was just wasted.
Speaker 17I don't know how many I had, but boy did I get booked. I sure felt that the next morning that was really the worst thing I've ever done. I hope you didn't drive home.
Speaker 18No way, macgyver, as in the TV show, where the impossible is often accomplished. I can't believe you got off that speeding ticket. What a MacGyver Marvel to secretly undermine what?
Speaker 17I can't believe you saw your job, you really been novel.
Speaker 18Black and Decker or a real tough assignment. You get the analogy right.
Speaker 17This job is real blind. It's just a black and decker.
Speaker 18Some phrases may be around forever. Well, look, I gotta run Peace Bye, tom. One last word for words of the 90s. You gotta remember that hip slang changes rather quickly. So if you want to use any of these phrases you better use them in a hurry. I mean, think of Park Simpson. Cowabunga is dreadfully at a date, hardly at a style. You don't want to appear bisonic, do you? You've stayed up with it.
Speaker 5Bisonic.
Speaker 12Sweet mullet bro.
Speaker 3What's bisonic.
Speaker 2You can thank this fucking podcast for giving you some hip fucking language to use. You're welcome 1989.
Speaker 12What's some of the things that your tweens say that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3Like slang, mine don't really.
Speaker 12They don't say anything. That makes sense.
Speaker 3Mine don't. We need to put their four kids in one room and see what happens Every day when I ask a how's your day?
Speaker 5Good.
Speaker 9Fine.
Speaker 2Do you have fun?
Speaker 9What grade?
Speaker 4is on.
Speaker 12Finish your homework, yeah.
Speaker 2You hiding it from me.
Speaker 4Hey.
Speaker 3Tibby's an old man. He just enrolled his oldest in junior high. That's true. Oh my god, you're an old man. Oh my god.
Speaker 12Band.
Speaker 3Band.
Speaker 12She wants to play flute, flute.
Speaker 3No, that's not a flute. I don't like flutes. What's that face about a?
Speaker 9flute.
Speaker 3I don't like them. Have you seen Lizzo Play sax in my phone? Have you seen Lizzo play her flute? What?
Speaker 5She's fucking amazing.
Speaker 4I don't like her she's your brother.
Speaker 2Don't play that shit around her. Suck my dick.
Speaker 3She is your brother's guilty pleasure, lizzo.
Speaker 7I like Lizzo.
Speaker 12I don't know, lizzo, let's continue.
Speaker 4I like.
Speaker 14Zach.
Speaker 4Bryant. I like him.
Speaker 3Excuse you what? Was all those noises she's got a, she's got a oxygen thing on.
Speaker 16Oh no Shit bitch, you're not even a fart. Absolutely a fart.
Speaker 8I.
Speaker 3Can't wait to use that on someone.
Speaker 2One thing I love is watching videos of kids hurt themselves.
Speaker 5Oh, my god what is wrong with you not like serious injuries.
Speaker 2But shit like this, stupid shit. Funny if Watching Hunter and Logan as like three and five year olds navigate. Mirror maze was fucking fantastic.
Speaker 3I can dummy. So this is Hunter and.
Speaker 2Logan running through. Okay, one of these fucking Oklahoma State Fair.
Speaker 12I Face first.
Speaker 2I love him that's, that's that face hurt.
Speaker 3That's second to last kid that screamed. I feel that what are you eating?
Speaker 14Oh, he's funny, so I hope it's actually what I gave my husband for Valentine's Day. It's cinnamon rolls made from Not only these for my yeast infection, but also my breast milk. I'm sorry, Really natural.
Speaker 2Trash can Fucking gross, no way. Hmm, it gets worse.
Speaker 14And when he tried it, he noticed immediately that it tasted a little different than they normally do. When I make them cinnamon rolls, oh my god. And he was like what do you do differently? It's really good, and I said actually my yeast infection.
Speaker 13You know what your fire? Okay, you didn't fall.
Speaker 14No, I will say, is they taste like, almost like sour, oh my god, like they're a little more sour than like a normal cinnamon roll would be okay, and I think that's due to it being like he's from my body.
Speaker 6Okay, but this is not this isn't real.
Speaker 14You like them? He did say they were different, but like Not in a bad way okay okay, no apps fucking you, Except they don't party.
Speaker 3That's, that's Christmas. I'm looking for a cute boyfriend.
Speaker 7I could back off for and a PS5 for. I just got my income tax, so hit me up looking for a boyfriend. Call her out, babe, I could back off for.
Speaker 3I just got my income tax, so hit me up looking for a boyfriend. Hey, go be a boyfriend, go be a boyfriend.
Speaker 5So now I'm gonna try it. One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters they suck cocks. No, excuse me. One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters they cut socks. Three sock fuckers.
Speaker 5Oh, no, no, no no One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters what the hell? One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters they suck socks. They suck, they suck socks. Hmm, I want to suck sock. Oh, it's like so. One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters they suck socks. Stop sucking socks. One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters they suck cocks. One sock suck. One sock fucker. One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three sock suckers they suck socks.
Speaker 7I'm sorry.
Speaker 8I did it right.
Speaker 7What's up buddy? What's up guys? What's up fucker? Stop sucking socks.
Speaker 2Okay, let's try it, should we?
Speaker 3all try to say it. Okay, what's the whole thing?
Speaker 2I don't know One sock cutter. One sock cutter is cut and sock.
Speaker 3That is not what she said. One sock cutter, he cut socks. Okay, there we go.
Speaker 12The white glass. Yeah, one sock cutter. He cut socks two sock cutter.
Speaker 5They cut socks three cocks.
Speaker 7Three socks cutters they cut socks.
Speaker 2Yeah, say it fast, should we write? It down Three socks, cutters One sock cutter.
Speaker 15He cut socks two sock cutters.
Speaker 12One sock cutter. He cut socks, two socks.
Speaker 7No in the mic Two cocks, Two cocks.
Speaker 12One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three sock cutters they suck cocks.
Speaker 8You can't know the stutter.
Speaker 13I nailed it they suck cocks.
Speaker 5They love cocks. Alright Taylor, one sock cutter, he cut two sock cutters.
Speaker 12He won Two sock cutters.
Speaker 7What are sock?
Speaker 3cutters. Yep, he's a sock cutter.
Speaker 7You can't talk in the top of it.
Speaker 9Two sock cutters.
Speaker 12Okay ready, try again.
Speaker 2You ready and go? Wait, can you repeat?
Speaker 5the words. Repeat the words please One sock cutter he cut socks.
Speaker 2Two sock cutters.
Speaker 12Two sock cutters I didn't say the word.
Speaker 2He said sock cutters. I think she put it in my head now.
Speaker 4I can't get it. Oh god, it hurts, I'm gonna throw up.
Speaker 8I can't find something.
Speaker 6Smell this, smell this. It helps, it helps.
Speaker 1Just give her smelling socks.
Speaker 8It helps Pass it on.
Speaker 13Oh my god, this is fantastic. It helps.
Speaker 2It helps, it helps, it helps, it helps, it helps it helps.
Speaker 3It helps in the nose out, oh god it hurts so bad. No, that helps.
Speaker 2Socks, suckers that's what we got. What Sniff it?
Speaker 5a drink. One sock cutter. He cut socks, two socks.
Speaker 1Two socks. He's a sock cutter.
Speaker 3One sock cutter. He's got socks. I need a drink.
Speaker 2Oh, my God.
Speaker 9One sock, can you?
Speaker 7catch yeah.
Speaker 3Wait what? He's a catcher, he's a catcher. Okay, one, one, one, one Cock sucker he. No, you already messed up.
Speaker 9No Getting here started. Oh, one sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three cut what's a cut.
Speaker 3What's a cut. What's a cut, what's a cut.
Speaker 2What's a cut?
Speaker 3I don't know it's focused on.
Speaker 5He's the guy that was the sick to me I like it.
Speaker 12Cock solder.
Speaker 2Cock solder. I love people. They saw it, I'm a cock solder. That was a sick to me.
Speaker 12I think he used a soldering iron. Can you do it? Yeah?
Speaker 3One cock sucker. No, he didn't even try Cock sucker. Yeah, he's a cock sucker, he's making three words in.
Speaker 7One cock sucker. He's a cock sucker. One sock cutter, he cut socks.
Bizarre Banter About Personal Hygiene
Speaker 3Two sock cutters they cut socks. Two socks, two socks. Two sock cutters they cut socks. Three sock cutters they cut socks.
Speaker 2That was too slow, yeah, you can't say it fast.
Speaker 3One sock cutter, they cut socks. Two sock cutters they cut socks One, two, three.
Speaker 2Wait, you said one. Do they identify as a thing we got to qualify as first? Yes, one sock cutter.
Speaker 12He cut socks One.
Speaker 3Two sock cutters, one sock cutter, two socks One, two.
Speaker 4There's 12. Cock Cock.
Speaker 3Cock Two cock cutters. One sock cutter he cut socks. Two sock cutters they cut sock. Three sock cutters they cut socks. She did it yeah.
Speaker 12They're gonna be cutting socks.
Speaker 3Okay, damien, god, what a suck cutter is, though. That's what my brain wants to say I would love
Speaker 1to meet a sock cutter. I'm telling you that right now I'm gonna suck cutter, do you suck?
Speaker 2cutter. Hell yeah, dude, my girlfriend sucks cutter.
Speaker 3No, that's not funny. That's not funny. That was a dumb joke. This whole podcast is dumb. Put that in the clip I will.
Speaker 5All right, let's continue. Put that in your clip. Put that in your clip. Put that in your clip.
Speaker 12Put that in your clip and smoke it. Put that in your clip and smoke it.
Speaker 11I'm gonna make a fucking rant video out of this, but it seems like anytime some politician farts, burps or fucking has a shit, or gas prices jump 30 cents overnight, it doesn't fucking make any sense. Our gas prices yesterday were 307 gallon. Now our gas prices are fucking 329 gallon.
Speaker 3What's happened to your teeth?
Speaker 11Explain that. Did somebody fart and shit their fucking pants on the fucking Senate or government somewhere? What the fuck? Yeah, I'm gonna post this because this pisses me off.
Speaker 6I'm gonna post it.
Speaker 3Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit bitches. But like wait back up, but like what's his super clean hat.
Speaker 10Hey guys, I would like to tell you how you.
Speaker 3No, oh God. Yeah, let's pause it on that. It's a pee-pee break Boo.
Speaker 2He's gonna watch you. Pee-pee, taylor's got a T-Go, he's gonna watch you pee-pee.
Speaker 3Suck cutters, you're gonna do that. One sock cutter, they cut socks. Two sock cutters they cut socks. No, Fuck off. No, you said it wrong. One sock cutter, he cut suck.
Speaker 2He cut, suck, he cut, sucks, he cut, sucks, he cut sucks. He cut sucks, does it make him.
Speaker 3Well, that person wouldn't be a cuck.
Speaker 12then if he's getting sucked right, no, cuck sucked, he'd be a cutter.
Speaker 2Well, he's the fluffer of the cuck, I guess, right, I don't think there's a fluffer in a cuck. You don't know. I said think or do you know there's some fluff, cuckers, what?
Speaker 13the fuck. I'm more experienced than you.
Speaker 7I know about fluffing. I was a whore Babe.
Speaker 3I was. I had my ho Ho-day.
Speaker 12Fluff a cuck, as much as I want to.
Speaker 2Your parents may listen to this, they know.
Speaker 12I'll be fluffing all the cucks. Fluff a cuck.
Speaker 2You're fluffing a cuck A fluffer cutter. Fluffer cutter. Oh, fluff my cuck, fluff my cuck.
Speaker 3Fluff your cuck bud.
Speaker 12To the pacer Huh, I have to pee.
Speaker 4Pee it's a tinkle, all right, when she gets back.
Speaker 12Is there toilet paper? Because I'm gonna have to wipe.
Speaker 3What.
Speaker 2What are you wiping my tip? You gotta wipe the tip. I get it. Yeah, I feel like sometimes I think smart dudes take care of the durable.
Speaker 4So yeah, we do. So we don't make pants, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, and we've said on the podcast before that here let me change this.
Speaker 12You can't shake it too much or it'll get on the wall.
Speaker 2Well, before you pee, guys, just spread your dick lips. What, yeah, you spread your dick lips, that way you don't get that 90 degree shot. That shit, that shit, that shoots over. You spread your dick lips.
Speaker 3Is that like for your first pee of the day, or is that every time?
Speaker 7Good question.
Speaker 2Good question. I especially do it in the morning. First thing out of the cold, but it's becoming habit, so I kind of do it you know every time. You got to push the elbow up. The elbow goes up.
Speaker 12She's moaning on the mic oh my God, did I get it? Oh, it's so big, it goes this way.
Speaker 13This way, oh stop.
Speaker 7I'll just try to put it in my mouth.
Speaker 12I just want it close to my mouth.
Speaker 2This yeah, loosen that, push the mic up.
Speaker 6There you go, just like that this is the better angle, oh.
Speaker 3God, she can hear my voice. What's your favorite angle? Taylor Lee, oh my, God. I'm just trying to feel the time.
Speaker 2Depends on the person. That's fair Depends on what the person the person or the length of the member.
Speaker 3It's also the shape of the member, it's not just the length, sometimes like if it swings one way or the other, like a bit like curves, you got a crooked dick. Sometimes what's that?
Speaker 2What's that the commercial?
Speaker 3where it shows like a bent carrot and it says is this you? Oh yeah.
Speaker 2People break their dicks.
Speaker 13It can happen, yeah, so it's not really like breaking the dick, it's more like the tissue when it gets.
Speaker 15You can get like a guard nose.
Speaker 2I guess I'm not crazy enough, and so you get like a weird.
Speaker 5I haven't kinked anyone you can anyway?
Speaker 2Yeah, no, just never.
Speaker 3I never kinked your wiener. No, she never.
Speaker 16Never kinked the wiener there's been times where it's been close.
Speaker 15Oh God.
Speaker 2When you're really thrusting.
Speaker 3Okay, okay, thrust in and bust in.
Speaker 9Get back in here because they're talking about thrusting and I can't, you can't thrust, oh I can. I mean, I don't want to hear about that Thrust or bust. I've been thrusting lately. You're thrusting.
Speaker 12Tell us about it. You're pecking.
Speaker 7Nah A dude.
Speaker 3Did we both just say pecking Dude?
Speaker 4Yeah, jinx, how old is?
Speaker 12he Pinch Pope Yo Miko.
Speaker 2I haven't thrusted anybody.
Speaker 3Sure Is he single. When was the last time you thrusted yeah, I single?
Speaker 12Can he perform?
Speaker 3Yes, yes, all right. When was the last time you thrusted and busted?
Speaker 5Oh, it's been a while he's been sick. What Sick?
Speaker 3He's a dad bod, love a dad bod. It's hot, it is hot. There is something about a dad bod Like truly, I love a dad bod, it's real hard, you better. I liked a dad bod before I had you. Yeah, it's also the like diabetes, diabetes, diabetes, it's diabetes.
Speaker 2It's pre-DV. You can't. He's got the pre-DV. He's got pre-DV. It's so hot, it's so hot. Dude, fuckin' love it, this chick. She's got pre-DV.
Speaker 12She's got heart arrhythmia. Oh man and winter bush.
Speaker 3And white bush Winter.
Speaker 2What's a winter bush? It tastes like winter mint, A full bush. You know, winter bush Tastes like winter green.
Speaker 3I think I actually trim my bush more than I shave my legs in the winter.
Speaker 9Oh yeah, me too.
Speaker 4Like that's a. It's uncomfortable.
Speaker 9I do yeah, bush is kind of comfortable when people are down there.
Casual Chit-Chat on Random Topics
Speaker 3Yeah, it's cold. Come back around, it doesn't get cold. What were you talking about before? You talked about bush? I don't fucking know.
Speaker 2We have no idea.
Speaker 3Shit Boogers, no Weaners Thrustin'. Oh, when was the last time you thrusted and busted? No, it's been a while. He's been sick.
Speaker 12A while he's been sick. When was the last time you thrusted and busted?
Speaker 2Oh wait, you're monogamous Friday.
Speaker 3Fuckin' hope so Today, today's Saturday, yesterday, yesterday.
Speaker 5Nice Yesterday yeah.
Speaker 14Wow.
Speaker 5Well.
Speaker 12Little Friday action.
Speaker 5Little Friday.
Speaker 2Last week Tonight.
Speaker 3Fuck, yes, lucky, I shaved my legs yesterday. That's why. That's why no, all right, here we go. On that note the scratches his back. It is a mind-worn spot.
Speaker 2Let's go to the old kid diddler. Uh-oh, here we go, oh my.
Speaker 4God, oh God no.
Speaker 10Hey guys, I would like to tell you how you can use AI to wipe your ass Pause. Pause.
Speaker 3First you need to take a dump in your toilet.
Speaker 12Then First of all, his head looks like a penis.
Speaker 3I feel like there's a lot to unpack before we actually watch him tell us how to master AI for anal pleasure.
Speaker 2It's not anal pleasure.
Speaker 3He definitely is going to be talking about single-played anal pain.
Speaker 2It's not your ass, it's wiping your ass, he's going to be talking about single-play toilet paper. This is Elon Musk's fourth cousin, once removed. That he fucked, that he is trying to tell you how to use AI to wipe your ass.
Speaker 3That's Elon Musk's fourth cousin, twice removed. That is also his son.
Speaker 2Fourth cousin.
Speaker 7Fourth cousin. Fourth cousin, he got it while pepperage farming. It's his fourth cousin. Here we go, here we go. They met at the pepperage farm.
Speaker 10Hey guys, I would like to tell you how you can use AI to wipe your ass. First, you need to take a dump in the toilet.
Speaker 2In the toilet.
Speaker 10Then you take your cell phone and put it on vibrate, then slide it no, no In the crack of your ass.
Speaker 12Yeah, no, not a phone. And then It'll be dirty.
Speaker 2Well, we have a solution. She's next.
Speaker 12What First put the phone in the zip lock bag. What is it?
Speaker 10Then proceed to wipe it down in the paper towel, your phone. And throw that in the garbage. Do this every day in the same garbage and don't put anything else in the garbage. Emma, you're cleaning lady, you're fucking tongue out, tongue out.
Speaker 2What?
Speaker 3He's murdered someone. He has killed someone.
Speaker 6I'm sorry. You know how. I know he's murdered someone.
Speaker 3Two things His hair cut Number one. Three things actually. His teeth, number two, and his giggle. He wipes his ass with a paper towel.
Speaker 2No with a cell phone. No with a cell phone. But then he also says in a paper towel he wipes his phone off after it's wiped his ass With a paper towel. With a paper towel, he throws the paper towel away.
Speaker 3Oh, my God.
Speaker 2But Still serial. My question is how does this guy have a cleaning lady?
Speaker 3He's clearly a programmer.
Speaker 12Programmer. How much money is this guy making? How much money is this guy making? Is it a?
Speaker 2regular iPhone or an iPhone Max. That's a Max. That's like triple ply, yeah, that's like.
Speaker 5Charmin.
Speaker 2Charmin.
Speaker 10Charmin, charmin, she takes out your garbage, charmin's out. It's been a pleasure. Yeah, it's awesome. No, thank you no, thank you no.
Speaker 7Thank you.
Speaker 8No, do these no?
Speaker 10No, she takes out your garbage.
Speaker 6Okay, I like this.
Speaker 10It's been a pleasure. Hold on. Ai is awesome, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2You know what's the new sound bite. Thank you.
Speaker 3Thank you, thank you. Can you put, can you splice, can you stitch like electronic stuff? Thank you, that's right, thank you, thank you, thank you, I want that together oh yeah, oh, geraldine, geraldine's my favorite no.
Speaker 16Huh uh, I ain't wearing no bra Vine Pff, pff, pff. And you can't make me do it, that's right. You can comment about it all you want to, but it don't make no difference, that's all right, we're not going to comment.
Speaker 2We love it.
Speaker 16I can flap free all I want. Flap free, geraldine. You can't. You ain't going to catch me over on your end of Tiktok, you're you?
Speaker 3are.
Speaker 16You'll get it if you find yourself over here on my the tiktok, deep in the dungeon. Yeah, we did. You dug yourself your own hole to get here. That's right I don't need to know everything you don't.
Speaker 16I don't need to know who you are and what you think but you want to if you think something bad about me, we don't the last person you should be telling because I don't care. All right, okay, and here 2024. I propose free the jiggly bits all around. What do you think about? Thought for you, the jiggly bits. Another thing you don't like snacking, you don't like chewing? I'm gonna be doing that. I know all I want. Yeah, you're deep in the dungeon over here. That's not we might see some things, you might hear some things.
Speaker 2Tell some things.
Speaker 16Yep, it's what you get over here, thank you.
Speaker 2My name is Sirleene.
Speaker 16We'll leave me a comment.
Speaker 2I love your.
Speaker 16I love.
Speaker 2Geraldine.
Speaker 13Did you tell them?
Speaker 2Oh, you got so much yourself, but you're okay, is my ear okay.
Speaker 3Is that the Kaylee Is my heart okay. Oh, okay Is my ear okay. Is that the Kaylee Is my heart okay. Oh my god oh my god, oh my god oh.
Speaker 7I'd love to.
Speaker 3Did you find that after you found me watching Twilight? Yep, yeah, I like that. I love Twilight. Oh, okay, winner.
Speaker 2Oh, liars, liars. That's not how you do it, no.
Speaker 3Oh, try it out, try it out, try it out, he's too, oh. Oh, you're so close to a clue. Okay, that's so comfortable.
Speaker 2I wish it was a bald eagle.
Speaker 3Three years Three hours.
Speaker 8Did you say hours?
Speaker 3I don't like it, I like it.
Speaker 15Woop, woop, woop. Hey, y'all remember my in-jails. Temporary memories are forever. Squint, punch it, motherfucking the mouth. Woop, woop.
Speaker 3Woop woop what Jails temporary.
Speaker 15Hey y'all remember my in-jails. Temporary memories are forever. Squint, punch it, motherfucking the mouth, woop, woop, woop woop, fuck it.
Speaker 3It's my new mantra. Students dressed as furries could be collected.
Speaker 8Hey, in the sun, I'm just a cat, as quiet as a mouse. So let me in, open your house. I'm just a cat, let me conquer. No need to fight, I'm just a cat.
Speaker 3I'm just a cat.
Speaker 7Wow, wow.
Speaker 8All right, that is part one Water.
Speaker 7I haven't seen water in days.
Speaker 5In days and weeks I had a Stanley cup and it is gone.
Speaker 7You won the Stanley cup, that's a fucking.
Speaker 2I have not seen a Stanley cup in here.
Speaker 3I can see it on the bookshelf out there in the whole way.
Speaker 2Oh fuck, there's another one there, 14 feet that way.
Speaker 3Go go catch it. Oh no, why is it out there?
Speaker 2Look at that, just swing it that way. Now you can Just a swinging, just a swinging. Oh, now your motor boat, and here we have Tibby motor boat in the mikes.
Speaker 15I like butt cheeks.
Speaker 2Tastes a little nutty.
Speaker 14I think there's also a little twang back there.
Speaker 3Did you have some tofu last night? Tofu, hey, his wife does eat tofu. Oh my god, oh my.
Speaker 12Our dad has always said Tastes more like tofu than tofu.
Speaker 2You just have to lick past the twang Just past it, just past it. Okay, here we go. That's a sweet spot.
Speaker 8Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 6Fuck magic show, constantly Fucking pants are more stern than me, mate.
Speaker 12That guy needs some.
Speaker 2That was dad before Taylor called her.
Speaker 3Can you do that?
Speaker 16again.
Speaker 3Pick me up. Do it again, do it again. I just took me in and realized what language he was speaking.
Speaker 2He said my pants are more stern than I am. You can't understand English, not that English.
Speaker 3Get it together man.
Speaker 6Fucking pants are more stern than me, mate.
Speaker 12Fuck my mom. Why are you pants talking? Yes, please.
Speaker 2This is why Taylor doesn't live in a two story house.
Speaker 5I'm scared.
Speaker 9Oh my god, that would be me for sure. I have three steps and I've fallen down them.
Speaker 7They have fallen down them Alley. What's?
Speaker 3happening.
Speaker 7When you're not strong, I'll be your friend. I'll help you get free.
Speaker 8For it won't be long.
Speaker 3That's tap. That's tap she peed. I don't know, it might have been a squirt.
Speaker 2She farted, did y'all hear?
Speaker 3No, I missed it, he bummed on my window. These are good friends.
Speaker 2That's Taylor and Melinda right there.
Speaker 6What is this?
Speaker 2Broke out which one what. This is why Taylor doesn't call 911.
Speaker 1911? Which one Is?
Speaker 13that what over there there?
Speaker 3She just kept pushing through. That's the kid going. He just scratched his head like a fucking mother.
Speaker 5No, oh no.
Speaker 16I don't like you.
Speaker 3Has the baboon ever shit on you? Not like that.
Speaker 2Sliding into 2024 baby. Let's do it.
Speaker 8Oh.
Speaker 12Indocrinium.
Speaker 8Oh no, how did he lose his pants? Help me.
Speaker 7Help me. No, your pants are out.
Speaker 3How did he lose his pants Let? Me see if I play it again that one's funny.
Speaker 2I don't know Somehow they were linked to his pants. I don't know how they got caught up in it.
Speaker 3Are they terrible yeah?
Speaker 9Kobe my.
Speaker 6Shits.
Speaker 3That's terrible, absolutely.
Speaker 9Shit myself was seven times. This is real. That's just when my stomach was really eating me the most and I have to the holidays sugar, I actually had one Poop.
Speaker 3I do feel like this is like just a really formal version of like Thanksgiving Conversation. Very firm.
Speaker 12Tell me, I tell you right now.
Speaker 2I never want to know what color your shit is. Okay, I would love this kind of PowerPoint noticeably smelly poops.
Speaker 9It's like shit.
Speaker 13Oh, I totally log.
Speaker 3Oh see, I mostly have pellet poops.
Speaker 12Ghost poops are great.
Speaker 9It's a good poop I never have.
Speaker 3I never have those you never have a good poop. No, oh, those are great poops. I eat like a fucking toddler.
Speaker 5Mmm.
Speaker 9Top shit.
Speaker 12Snorted.
Speaker 3I had I. Had the best shit at work the other day, Casey.
Speaker 2Yeah, it was great. It was a, it was, it was massive one, massive turd it's so good, massive, and it's sticking up out of the water like no, but it had like it's weird on one end.
Speaker 3It looks weird on one end and then pinched off in the other end, so I knew what end was coming out. First it looked weird, the weird one or the pinched one.
Speaker 12The weird end came out first.
Speaker 3Pinched in must have been the final end right.
Speaker 4Oh my god, it felt so good and it was a ghost.
Speaker 3I Well ghost poop guys, it was so good.
Speaker 2Let me tell you about things that I never thought my wife would have a conversation with us about.
Speaker 3Why would you?
Speaker 2think that the best poop of the day.
Speaker 3Why would you think I wouldn't talk about that?
Speaker 2I just I didn't think cuz I'm prim and proper. On this video for summer. No, that's gonna be fun because you're gonna play the part of that girl right there. Okay, okay, because this video has no sound. Oh, it got removed by the tick tock over a lord shit, so I'm out of my vodka seltzers.
Speaker 3Well having your seltzers. Okay, can I have one?
Speaker 2This is hey. It's like we haven't skipped a beat from season three to season four.
Speaker 3It's the same.
Speaker 2Okay so we get back You're gonna play the part of this girl.
Speaker 3Yeah, you can get whatever dialogue you want.
Speaker 2Okay, black on black Taylor you're gonna play the part of the photographer that comes in. Okay, tibby, you're lucky, cuz you're gonna play spider-man. Oh, oh.
Speaker 10Are you?
Speaker 2ready. Peter Parker, that's right, that's what I do.
Speaker 3I can't.
Speaker 2Schmeter, parker, you're a smoker. All right, schmeter. Schmarker, do you remember your person?
Speaker 3black on black.
Speaker 2Okay, you camera, camera, smoker, smoker, here we go.
Speaker 3Oh my god, hold my hand, hold my hand. While this ball is real close to my face, I'm gonna settle down into it. I wanna fail. Oh my god, it didn't touch my face is amazing.
Speaker 12Oh, praise the ball. It's so smooth. Oh he liked it.
Speaker 7It's stupid. That's my biggest segment of the podcast.
Speaker 1I loved it, I loved it, that's stupid.
Speaker 2You guys were fantastic. Oh, oh, my god, that was fantastic. Thank you so much for uh.
Speaker 6Oh my god.
Speaker 5I don't like, I don't like. Each other determined. Little train it's his game drinking a person.
Speaker 3Say it again Use your other hand we know Taylor Swallows.
Speaker 2now I don't know if I wanted to know that.
Speaker 12It's like I'm chugging a person.
Speaker 3They only spit twice, Spitting
Speaker 5is rude, it is rude.
Speaker 9Oh yeah, watermelon, where's that?
Speaker 5Peach.
Speaker 3Yeah, person.
Speaker 7You think you only what.
Speaker 3It's fleshy what I said. I think I'm only spit like twice in my life. Oh oh, spitting is rude. He's laughing, it is rude. I've never spit you.
Speaker 2It's all because of my pineapple. Okay, okay, here we go.
Speaker 6I can't even hear you. That's why.
Speaker 2Yes, you can't hear you, we can't hear you.
Speaker 12You don't have your headphones on, so I can't hear you at all.
Speaker 6What is happening?
Speaker 2Did you quit?
Speaker 12Did you quit? I'm not a quitter, all right.
Speaker 9All right your muffs still are on.
Speaker 3What are our spitters. Put your earmuffs on so you can hear this. I'm gonna make a shirt that says I'm not a quitter. In like big words.
Speaker 4I'm not a quitter I don't spit.
Speaker 3Underneath in small font, it's gonna say or a spitter.
Speaker 7I'm not a quitter.
Speaker 8And I'm gonna give it to you.
Speaker 4You're perverted.
Speaker 3You're perverted.
Speaker 9And one smile. Don't move and go.
Speaker 12Oh, balls are so smooth. My balls are smooth. Look at my smooth spivy suit.
Speaker 1Smells good.
Speaker 7Oh man, that would hurt.
Speaker 3Does he have a wet spot on his suit, becca?
Speaker 12Oh, stop it, it's a spidey mark.
Speaker 3What's much. When he rolls over I feel like there's a wet spot like he, just a little bit oh.
Speaker 5Oh.
Speaker 3He came when that ball hit his balls.
Speaker 2Did his dick go in one of the thumb holes? And then like Just forced it right out. Oh All right. Sorry, schmader schmarcker.
Speaker 12The spiders have eight dicks too.
Speaker 15No song. I wrote in one minute All right Battle reason but holes.
Speaker 1But sometimes you do what's this happen? I forgot about that, shane Harkins.
Speaker 2I like it. No his teeth are gonna give me nightmares.
Speaker 3I will have nightmares. Listen to it again. They're nightmares are Shane's biggest drink. What did you just say? Pause, don't even play it. What was that the fuck did?
Speaker 7you just say Nice.
Speaker 9Spitting out your drink.
Speaker 2That is not what you said. Let me replay that.
Speaker 8Battle reason but holes.
Speaker 2What she said. I don't know, I'm supposed to put the dink I.
Speaker 3I see this, I see this, I see this.
Speaker 13I drink.
Speaker 2You got a knife. You got a knife hey.
Speaker 13Hey, you got a knife. I'm not a knife, I'm not a knife, I'm a knife.
Speaker 8Spitting out your drink, yeah.
Speaker 3Try it again, though. What did you say? I said those are nightmares. Are you spitting out your drink?
Speaker 9That was still awful.
Speaker 12Nightmares are your strength.
Speaker 15Song. I wrote you one minute, one minute.
Speaker 8Battle reason. But holes Are things you couldn't lick, but sometimes you do. I love the song, sometimes you do, I don't know. Feel like I taste the same Are things you couldn't lick, but you're still alive. So go ahead and lick, but I'm still alive. Bitterness and buttholes taste the same.
Speaker 12I've eaten some toenails Because it's Mind me of a butthole. I've eaten a butthole. I've eaten a butthole available. I think we found the song.
Speaker 2I got a pee, I got a pee, I got a pee, I got a pee I got a pee Bitter reason, buttholes. So you're just taking away Bitter reason buttholes, you're taking away the battery.
Speaker 12Bitter reason buttholes.
Speaker 3I got a pee, don't play anything else. Oh god, what are we going to do?
Speaker 12Oh, I took him off at one everybody.
Speaker 7Why are you taking him off? Bitter reason, buttholes.
Speaker 3You didn't see him shut his lick.
Speaker 5He lost your mind, put him on.
Speaker 7Put him on for a second Bitter reason buttholes.
Speaker 1I've eaten buttholes.
Speaker 4Can we?
Speaker 1out of here, Bitter reason buttholes.
Speaker 5Can we out of here?
Speaker 13I need to lick. I still think you don't lick Bitter reason buttholes.
Speaker 5What are y'all doing? I don't like it.
Speaker 7Bitter reason, buttholes, come on, come on.
Speaker 2Are some things you don't lick. Bitter reason buttholes. Oh sorry.
Speaker 13This is America, you dumb son of a bitch.
Speaker 12Alright, easy Hard fucking core Easy now easy, easy.
Speaker 2I'm dehydrated from crying.
Speaker 5Drink some water.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 16That's a peel.
Speaker 12Dehydrated. All this there's water.
Speaker 2What else is there to?
Speaker 12be Squatter Beer.
Speaker 2Made with water. If it's not water, what is it, eckies?
Speaker 12Two of them, eckies. Two of the X's, two X's.
Speaker 5What's your favorite beer?
Speaker 12Two X's my favorite beer Beer.
Speaker 2Do you really drink anymore, though? Like beer though?
Speaker 5You drank tonight homie.
Speaker 12No, I did. I didn't drink any alcohol at all At all. Some of this white cloth yeah, that's not beer.
Speaker 5It's lemonade. I was asking what your favorite beer.
Speaker 12I don't know. I like A porter style.
Speaker 13Okay.
Speaker 12I like red beer.
Speaker 2I like I like porter a lot. Did you try? Did I have you try Breckenridge Brewery? Their they got a porter. That's real good doesn't sound familiar. No, it's one that I like. It's about the only porter that I like.
Speaker 5I like a Doseki's amber.
Speaker 12I do too. I like Doseki's amber a lot. It was a fateful one like years ago.
Speaker 2I love Doseki's, but all the local beer.
Speaker 12We got some really good local beer.
Speaker 7I like the amber, I mean I like Prairie, that's local.
Speaker 12I like 405. I like the stock of beers a lot, of course, dude 405.
Speaker 2We went up there last week. They do like maybe the last Friday of the month. They do like a teacher's educators night Educators get a little cheaper beer. They had. You know, they have their slushy machines right in there. No, they have slushy machines.
Speaker 9Oh, I did have a slushy.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 9Beer slush.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh, they're good. They had one that was like a caramel latte. Oh, beer was slushy, that had beer in it. But, oh, dude, it was so good, sounds good, but it had had a little bit of lactose in it and your boy came home with the shit. Yeah, but this time they had a lactose free, like a. It was like a pineapple something ice cream sundae that had a little bit of vanilla and a little bit of their pineapple beer. Oh dude, it was so good.
Speaker 5And I didn't have like dessert it was dessert.
Speaker 2That was good, but it didn't give me the farts or the shit, because it was lactose free. Wow, so good. What was that called the lactose free slushy I had at 405.?
Speaker 3Strawberry, banana, something or other, I thought it was pineapple.
Speaker 2Why?
Speaker 3did you ask me? Why did you ask me?
Speaker 2Because I thought you would know, but you said strawberry banana.
Speaker 9Pineapple is so cute.
Speaker 2Anyway, it was like a pineapple ice cream sundae something.
Speaker 3It was strawberry. It was strawberry, for sure.
Speaker 2There's something fucking good. 405 brewery.
Speaker 3Are we going there Check them?
Speaker 2out. No, they're close 730.
Speaker 3They do close at nine.
Speaker 12Oh my god, all right, here we go. They are really good. Have some good beer. What's next?
Speaker 2I don't know, let's see, take it away.
Speaker 12What in the butt Whoop?
Speaker 3Super cool, super cool. Yeah, it's playing.
Speaker 13That is AB. The whole nine is in that hole. The only way that you can tell is if you poke it with your pinky, if you can bump it's a male. No, bump it's a female.
Speaker 12Okay, Poke it real good Like your finger, that's not
Speaker 13all there's always that guy that's like lick the finger.
Speaker 2This is Taylor in 20 years.
Speaker 16I'm not talking about the chips, I'm talking about me. Too hot to handle. These are hot.
Speaker 7I'm hotter there you go, children, All right.
Speaker 2Nana Children's children's children's.
Speaker 3All right, nana Jesus, she's 40.
Speaker 12Dude really. Oh my god, Sounds like a fucking drone. Is there a mini bike in here?
Speaker 3Is that him or someone else?
Speaker 7Oh my god.
Speaker 2I got a rebuttal. Always have a rebuttal.
Speaker 12Got to end on a high note.
Speaker 13Squirt, all right.
Speaker 12Oh my god, oh look, it looks like you.
Speaker 3Oh my god Suck cutter.
Speaker 7Sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker.
Speaker 3Sucker.
Speaker 12All right, all this cock sucking is getting me hard, whoa.
Speaker 3That needs to be a sound clip.
Speaker 12Get away from me On the board.
Speaker 3On the board.
Speaker 12I'm getting a semi.
Speaker 2I'm fully torred.
Speaker 9You're hungry.
Speaker 6He's hungry, let's go full throttle.
Speaker 3Full throttle Full throttle.
Speaker 2Okay, so are we ready for TikTok? Bachelor, bachelor's yes, we got a good one for you, we are running. Got a good one. Where's our music for it? Don't we have music for it?
Speaker 5Yeah, here it is.
Speaker 4Central, yeah girl.
Speaker 1Ready to make some choices. Put it in my bottle, put it in my bottle. Just.
Speaker 5Actually, don't Just put it in your bottle, just put it in, put it in your bottle.
Speaker 3You've never put it in your butt. What You've never put it in your butt, yeah, but not recently.
Speaker 13Not recently, so don't suck it after it goes in your butt. That's dumb Put it in your bottle.
Speaker 8What, what are?
Speaker 13you talking about? Put it in the bottle, put it in the bottle. Put it in the bottle, put it in the bottle.
Speaker 5Put it in the bottle.
Speaker 6Just play this fucking video.
Speaker 13It's going in the bottle Put it in the bottle, buddy, buddy, buddy.
Speaker 3I feel like I need to text Jess and apologize if we try to put it in her butt tonight.
Speaker 13That's fantastic. All right, here we go.
Speaker 2Let's open it up. I've never seen Taylor, so uncomfortable and I've hugged her.
Speaker 3I don't like this. Yes, winky man, winky man and Papa. Is that Papa? Winky man, winky Papa.
Speaker 6Ah Thumbs up, they have the same thumb.
Speaker 13Oh baby.
Speaker 3I love him. Did he wink no?
Speaker 2No, that was just a little open or anything. I love Winky man. All right, here we go. Baby, let's bring on the bachelors.
Speaker 8Oh.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, that's pretty good. He's a good dancer, and and one onus.
Speaker 7Damaged on now.
Speaker 3No one is on it, someone didn't know.
Speaker 2Anyway, maybe like a Jedi.
Speaker 3What Nerd? Oh, look at the tree.
Speaker 4Oh you know where he can put that.
Speaker 7Oh romantic, oh yeah, I love you more than I can share. I love you twice as much tomorrow. I love you more than I can share. Oh yeah, I miss every single day when my life would be filled with sorrow. Okay, glad we had our captions. I love you more than I can share.
Speaker 2Well, yeah, okay.
Speaker 7Thank you, thank you, thank you, no, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 6Man, because nobody can make you better than I can. I don't need to speak. I'll move my fingers into the shape of a train dance. Then I'll move like a fish out of water without oxygen. I've been able to speak cats since I was young. Catfish is as good as my mother tongue. They call me Aquaman because they're all wanting me to play with their clunge. What Clunge, aquaman.
Speaker 3Does he file his teeth into points?
Speaker 6Yeah, I love you more than I can share.
Speaker 4It's so sharp teeth why?
Speaker 6is that hot again, I don't know. Without oxygen I've been able to speak cat since I was young. Speak cat Catfish is as good as my mother tongue.
Speaker 7I'm so uncomfortable.
Speaker 8Aquaman.
Speaker 3With their what. What do they want him to play with? They're clung.
Speaker 12They're clung.
Speaker 3Impossible.
Speaker 4She's blonde.
Speaker 2I don't know if that tall woman is the way it goes.
Speaker 17I don't care, I'm like women of the two-legged kind. Two-legged, it's just not right.
Speaker 13Trit, trit, cut.
Speaker 12His name is Brian. His name is Brian with an eye. Of course it's Brian.
Speaker 3Brian with an eye.
Speaker 2We don't have music for this. Hold on.
Speaker 3I don't think we need it, he's magic.
Speaker 2You don't think we need?
Speaker 3music Maybe, maybe.
Speaker 12We've got a cross on him.
Speaker 3Five o'clock shadow. He's super hot. He's so cool His yugioh jacket and sunglasses. Oh, he did it Sexy. I got chopped up. Lucky for Celeste Lyle has a boat and a microwave. I'm getting a microwave Stay in the back. Stay in the back.
Speaker 8I'm Lyle. I work at IBM. I work for a lovely lady.
Speaker 10I work for a lovely lady. I work for a lovely lady. My best qualities would probably be my beard.
Speaker 12My dick. My dick.
Speaker 10It's short and fat.
Speaker 2Kenny Loggins.
Speaker 10I do love a rainy night.
Speaker 2I'm a big boulder.
Speaker 10I just bought a boat. The most romantic thing I've ever done was popular co-worker Celeste out on my boat. I have a microwave. I've been drinking three. I sat and drank shibbly and listened to Christopher Cross and gave each other some sages.
Speaker 12Oh, Christopher.
Speaker 3Cross.
Speaker 12Is that what he said? Is that, like Chris Cross, will make you jump, jump. I can't stop that.
Speaker 7You don't know me, but I'm your brother.
Speaker 8Oh, jump, jump, Whoa. We're too close, ladies. Here's why you should date me.
Speaker 10Okay, I'm financially stable, right.
Speaker 12Obviously, you have a boat. I'm about to fight her, Michael.
Speaker 10Jackson, I want to take you on a wonderful tour of the world, and I'll be your guide.
Speaker 2God, Indiana Jones.
Speaker 8I'm so hot.
Speaker 7I'm so hot, I'm the idiot, I just named a fat fucker.
Speaker 2I'm in the You're getting dumped in the ocean. I'm in the microwave.
Speaker 3The end of the row is.
Speaker 8It threw his hat in the right.
Speaker 2Okay. They still want you to pick him.
Speaker 3Got a little peppy.
Speaker 8I love Lincoln man, yeah, dance it out. I'm so fierce, I just like you.
Speaker 5Your best dance move.
Speaker 3I bet he's a considerate lover.
Speaker 9That's your best dance move yeah.
Speaker 2Oh, winky man, we love you, but he didn't wink at all.
Speaker 3I'm really sad.
Speaker 6As far as his being single.
Speaker 12I'm really ready to mingle. Somebody help me please.
Speaker 3He's already covered in pussy Cat.
Speaker 12Cat.
Speaker 5He looks like he's got it together.
Speaker 6Well, that is quite a selection of men.
Speaker 2Wow.
Speaker 3That's it. It's been months and that's it.
Speaker 2I mean come on, that was prime, prime me. This is golden corral. Muffet of men up there.
Speaker 7As always, you have Winky man.
Speaker 12Right and then you have Dancy Mullet McGee.
Speaker 3Mustache. And then you have Big Teeth, chuck at the end. Yup With Rain and Impussy Cat, it's a long hair.
Speaker 7Who else was there? Who else was there?
Speaker 3Who else was there?
Speaker 2Oh.
Speaker 12Jim and Bobby. They were both there.
Speaker 13Jim and.
Speaker 7Bobby.
Speaker 13Bobby, you know they were on there.
Speaker 3Oh, you have the guy the.
Speaker 12Uncle man, I'm the Uncle man.
Speaker 5I bet it's probably pretty good I know, it's tempting. They call me.
Speaker 3Uncle.
Speaker 5Man.
Speaker 3Well there's vampire teeth, I bet if you didn't look at them.
Speaker 2I mean it's a tough Turn of the lights out and probably be all right.
Speaker 8You know what?
Speaker 2Let's scrub through.
Speaker 4Like a fish out of water Scrub backwards you know, we got Big Teeth Chuck.
Speaker 3He looks like a cartoon character. Yeah, he's from.
Speaker 2Pixar. Pussy Chuck Of course we got Murat Winky, man Winky, let me down this week. I'm really sad. I do like Lyle.
Speaker 5Lyle has a boy, he's got a microwave, not Angry man.
Speaker 3He's a bad boy.
Speaker 2You get a bad boy, he's ripping off the wink too from Winky man.
Speaker 12I don't like that part.
Speaker 9No, not Angry Babe.
Speaker 2Not Angry Babe Brian with an eye.
Speaker 12No, they call me.
Speaker 13Uncle man.
Speaker 3Not the Doodle Baby. He kind of reminds me of Blah Blah.
Speaker 4Blah.
Speaker 2What's his name? No, he's kind of like. No, he's kind of like my old friend.
Speaker 8Rodney. Oh my God.
Speaker 3You just ruined it. Now we're all Sahara Desert. I don't like it.
Speaker 8Here we go, Jackie.
Speaker 3Chan, he looks romantic.
Speaker 2I love you forever. That was a good one.
Speaker 3I love you more than I could take, I would.
Speaker 5I'm a good guy. I think he's got a love boat.
Speaker 2Who's this guy's name?
Speaker 3Say that again. Who's this guy's name?
Speaker 2Luke.
Speaker 16Who's this guy's name? Who's this guy's name?
Speaker 3Number two. Who's his name?
Speaker 12Poop oh yeah, I think he got it.
Speaker 9Dancing.
Speaker 8Queen.
Speaker 9I do like him this is Pat.
Speaker 12I like this right.
Speaker 13He's got a skull.
Speaker 4Oh no, it's Hogan.
Speaker 2That's right, damn.
Speaker 12Right there.
Speaker 2Nuts out. I can't believe. We can't see anything.
Speaker 3I mean, I feel like we can. Maybe that's a nut.
Speaker 12That's a nut. I see it down the dark spot below. I think that's a nut, that's like a spell it's called.
Speaker 3That's a nut.
Speaker 2He might have a big dick we just scrubbed through. We just scrubbed through.
Speaker 8They couldn't see on the video because I didn't switch the view.
Speaker 2That's just for us. That's just for us, I'm sorry. Like I said, I'm still growing and blossoming as a producer. He's a grower, not a shale.
Speaker 5He didn't show any of that.
Speaker 3He's a grower not a shale.
Speaker 2So it's just blank. Well, it's us. They see us reacting.
Speaker 5Blank pages.
Speaker 3My bad. He's a grower, not a shale.
Speaker 7We're ladies.
Speaker 3Hey, it's true Secret. No, I'm so secret.
Speaker 2Alright. Well, let's wrap up this premiere. What do you say? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3Hit me with it. So, since it's the first episode of 2020, full Air Perfect, what is your new year's resolution and or goal? Oh Tibster.
Speaker 12For real. I've got to lose 20 pounds.
Speaker 3Oh OK.
Speaker 2Is that like doctor ordered Pretty much?
Speaker 12Got the dog baby the latest you got diabetes Are you pre?
Speaker 3Are you pre?
Speaker 2DB or post DB. I'm pretty close.
Speaker 7I'm pretty.
Speaker 12Scoring. Oh no, I'm a nine out of 10. I pretty much got the full.
Speaker 9You better do something, Dude I was going to fix this pancakes.
Speaker 12After this I can't eat the.
Speaker 5Blatons or the sugars he's got. He's got the sugar.
Speaker 2I got the full blown sugar. He's got the full blown sugar, 20 pounds. Hey, 20 pounds, I do too. I'm halfway there. I do too. You lost 10 already, yeah.
Speaker 12Nice.
Speaker 18Nice.
Speaker 12When we're in Red River, yeah.
Speaker 3I lost 22 pounds. You pooped and you shit for three days 22 pounds.
Speaker 12Jesus Christ man 200 pounds.
Speaker 2Were you that.
Speaker 7Oh my.
Speaker 2God Were you that, backed up with poo? What?
Speaker 3I guess no, he just shat it all out.
Speaker 12Yeah, a lot of poo poo. I pooped when I got home a few times.
Speaker 3He lost all the water in his body.
Speaker 12Let me tell you, I carry about 20 pounds of water.
Speaker 2Let me tell you, jesus Christ, damn If I could get OG COVID again, but not almost die OG COVID.
Speaker 12I would do it just for the weight loss.
Speaker 3Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 12If I could get the.
Speaker 2Omnicron, omnicron, I mean it fucking cung-flued me, fucking right in the fat cells, caboose. Yeah, I would do it again. You can't breathe. Okay, who's next, taylor? You choose?
Speaker 3Taylor.
Speaker 4What's your New Year's resolution for 2020?
Speaker 220. 20.
Speaker 34. 4. Whatever.
Speaker 9I think I was going to be more honest. Oh shit.
Speaker 5We're fucked. I've been doing okay and I need to step it up.
Speaker 2Honest with who.
Speaker 5Just everyone.
Speaker 2Everyone.
Speaker 5I just am a pushover and I'm going to be more honest, just quiet.
Speaker 3I was about to say. Is it more like you're going? Not that you're a big liar, but that you're just going to speak your mind more? Is that more what it is? Yeah?
Speaker 5I'm not going to just roll with the punches anymore. I'm going to be like fuck you bitch, Fuck. No, I ain't monkeying around.
Speaker 12Fuck you, caitlyn.
Speaker 8Fuck you, caitlyn.
Speaker 2It's mostly the mom and dad.
Speaker 5Like shut the fuck up. Everyone's just fucking annoying. Oh I know.
Speaker 3Is this annoying?
Speaker 5No she likes us. Work and life. Did I judge you today.
Speaker 3Did you Probably, I don't know.
Speaker 2Probably no. This is a safe space. Yes, it is. Are you going to go or me?
Speaker 3I'll go.
Speaker 2Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 3So I don't do a resolution, but I pick a word for the year, and my word this year is timeliness and I've been okay in some aspects you have.
Speaker 2I won't give that. I was on time to work every day this last week, one week.
Speaker 18There's one week, hey you have to start somewhere.
Speaker 3Right, that's five times in a row, but also part of timeliness for me is not over extending my time, that's true, not promising too many things in a timeline that I cannot achieve. Don't give it away.
Speaker 12So that you're so full of success, not failure.
Speaker 3I've been very good at that, but showing up on time to things has been.
Speaker 12It's yours, don't give it away.
Speaker 3No.
Speaker 2Give her away now, God 877 cash now.
Speaker 3Is it me now?
Speaker 12It's me now it's a zillion cash now.
Speaker 2I have two One that I've talked to you about previously.
Speaker 18Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2And then one that I just discovered tonight what Just like three seconds ago. So the one that we've talked about is I want to be more timely in submitting my auditions when I get an audition request.
Speaker 3And he's been good at that.
Speaker 2I've slacked a little bit, but mostly been good. I just want to get him out as soon as possible instead of sitting on him.
Speaker 3That's because of the depression.
Speaker 5There we go.
Speaker 2Mental health it's serious.
Speaker 3Mental health is serious. We take medicine for it.
Speaker 2The one tonight that I want to do better at is not adjusting myself on camera, because we're on camera, you look good, babe. No, not I mean adjusting my junk. Oh, like touching your dick yeah because I just adjust just like I did now he just likes touching his dick. And it's right here.
Speaker 4Your brother touches his dick.
Speaker 2You can't see it from there. Just don't watch the video, just watch the audio, just listen to the audio only part.
Speaker 16Why are?
Speaker 3you touching your weird, your brother has his dick.
Speaker 2Your brother has a big dick. Guys adjust okay.
Speaker 4We adjust it's big.
Speaker 12It's big and juicy Scrub.
Speaker 7Yeah, hold your breath, stop it, stop it, you don't flip.
Speaker 3Get me out of here. You don't quit.
Speaker 2Someone call an Uber.
Speaker 3I mean you are going to Uber home.
Speaker 2So I, in future episodes, I will refrain of adjusting myself, because I just realized the wide shot can pick me up, so I apologize.
Speaker 3What do you want me to do? You want me to adjust it for you.
Speaker 2However. However, if you like that I adjust myself, because I'm not going to go to ShaneHarguscom hit the contact form, fill it out and say we love it when you adjust yourself. Thank you, that's all.
Speaker 3I have to say about that.
Speaker 2Only fans, I'm really uncomfortable.
Speaker 15I don't like this.
Speaker 1Thank you for tuning in everybody. We love you, chow baby. Bye-bye, I love you guys, and till next time.
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