Laugh Until We Fart
Laugh Until We Fart
Sneaky Trail Poopin' with Fartaloo Stinkbuns
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Ever had your dad send you a picture of mating turtles? Join us for a whirlwind of laughter and unexpected stories as El Crapitan Shane Harges and Taylor Lee make a grand return with our beloved trio, Mr. Hun Bun, J, Casey Sue and the elusive Fartaloo StinkBuns. We kick off with amusing tales of Fourth of July escapades, Taylor's shiny new Infinity QX30, and frustrating car troubles that will have you chuckling in agreement. Hunter’s misadventures at the repair shop add an extra punch of humor as we navigate through relatable rants and playful teasing.
Is Kevin Costner's new western "Horizon" a hit or miss? Our cinematic journey takes us through movie critiques and personal reflections, reminiscing about classics like "Dances with Wolves" and "Robin Hood." The excitement for the upcoming "Deadpool and Wolverine" movie is almost contagious as we share our thrilling ticket reservation stories. Throw in some awkward yet hilarious discussions about unusual anatomical terms and relationship advice, and you’ve got a segment that balances nostalgia with belly laughs.
Ever wondered about the peculiarities of a "penis bone"? We embrace the bizarre with a conversation that veers into the hilariously awkward world of sexual relationships. From erectile dysfunction hypotheticals to the surreal experiences of pet ownership, we cover it all with a comedic flair. The climax of our episode? The infamous "Shoe Shit Fiasco," where misunderstandings and missteps lead to a chaotic yet side-splitting tale. This episode promises to be a rollercoaster of humor, personal stories, and moments that will leave you in stitches.
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Here. We want Gonna make us laugh until we've fought Shane August, that's who we want Gonna make us laugh until we've fought and we're back I thought you were gonna sneeze.
Speaker 5We are back. Everyone still has their digits. Digit check Two in the pink one in the pink.
Speaker 4Okay, all right, how do you do that?
Speaker 5The shocker Then that was pink one in the pink. Okay, All right.
Speaker 4How do you do that?
Speaker 5The shocker. Then that was a safe 4th of July, independence Day. We just had Hope it was fun America.
Speaker 4I drank a lot, fuck yeah.
Speaker 5It's El Crapitan back behind the mics and your sluttiest born again virgin co-host, taylor Lee, is back, someone we haven't had here for a while. Mr Hun Bun, mustache man.
Speaker 6Lorax.
Speaker 5Off camera. We got she, who will not be named because I don't know if I have permission.
Speaker 4But she's here yeah man, yeah, shit. Yeah, jay.
Speaker 5She looked at me weird.
Speaker 4Yeah, just say Jay yeah.
Speaker 5Jay's here. Jay is here. He's here. Just your former OCO, jay's here. Jay is here. He's here, just in the back, jay Bay, your former Ocoist, ocoist, ocoist, most okayest co-host ever, casey.
Speaker 3Sue is back.
Speaker 7Can't see your thumb Got a thumbs up on the frame. There we go. Thumbs up on the frame.
Speaker 5Then we have Fartaloo Stink Buns. What's up? He is with us today.
Speaker 4Incognito, glad to be here.
Speaker 9That's not his voice either. He is incognito.
Speaker 8That's a voice changer.
Speaker 4We're going to change his voice.
Speaker 5I may actually do that here in a minute. I'm going to figure it out, yeah.
Speaker 7Chuck used to do that to me all the time.
Speaker 5Yeah, and our guest recently had a situation. Recently had a situation, a little change of scenery. He left his family. He just said, fuck them.
Speaker 12I don't care.
Speaker 5I don't care if you're trying to throw a birthday party for me and I thought you were sliding my girlfriend slash fiance, fuck you guys.
Speaker 13I see, wait, sorry, that's a different guy Fuck you guys.
Speaker 5See, wait, sorry, that's a different guy. Our guest did nothing like that, we're all so confused in this room right now.
Speaker 7It was close, though what?
Speaker 4is wrong with you.
Speaker 7That was harsh. Whoever that guy is.
Speaker 5Oh you guys know the guy I got scared.
Speaker 8That was a real thing. That was a real thing. That was a a real thing.
Speaker 5Who did I just get text by here recently?
Speaker 14Who did the story? I love the story.
Speaker 5Kind of makes sense.
Speaker 4Bitter.
Speaker 7That was it Just a whole monologue about it, I'm done now I felt like that was just the tip. I need the whole thing.
Speaker 9That was it that was it Just a whole?
Speaker 4monologue about it. I'm done now.
Speaker 8We're good. Sorry, I felt like that was just the tip I need the whole thing, just the tip.
Speaker 15Oh, you want to go?
Speaker 7No, we don't need it. We don't need it.
Speaker 9Let's go full throttle.
Speaker 5Yeah, exactly, just a kind of was a close friend Got a girlfriend and said, fuck you guys, really don't want to talk to you.
Speaker 7Time's up. Fuck you guys, I'm going home.
Speaker 5He came crawling back, we were like, okay, we get it, whatever.
Speaker 8Then he does it again. So he's a bitch.
Speaker 3Yep, there you go.
Speaker 7Little bitch, ass, little bitch ass.
Speaker 5That was it, that was it, that was it. What else is in the news? You got a new car Did we talk about it on the last episode. Did you get rear ended by then?
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 5Oh no, the car.
Speaker 4Oh.
Speaker 5Yeah, still, yeah, okay. Just checking Nasty Just checking Nasty Just checking, just checking. Yeah, she got a new ride. Finally got the insurance money through.
Speaker 8What's the new ride?
Speaker 4Infinity QX30.
Speaker 5Yeah, she fancy. Now she fancy bitch A little bougie it's used. She's a fancy boss bitch it's not.
Speaker 4Did you make her that shirt, boss bougie? It's used.
Speaker 5She's a fancy boss bitch, it's not.
Speaker 11Did you make her that shirt, boss bitch?
Speaker 5Boss bitch, not yet. Yeah, boss bitch, how do you spell that I was?
Speaker 10going to say how do you?
Speaker 5spell that. Hunter's been in a couple of car accidents here recently.
Speaker 3I don't want to talk about this shit, dude. Yeah, we have bad car luck.
Speaker 5I don't know, what's going out in that Mustang area but fuck that that drink is dangerous. That drink is dangerous.
Speaker 7I do feel like it is yeah.
Speaker 4We have a pitcher, it's so creamy.
Speaker 5That's what she said.
Speaker 10And I like creamy oh.
Speaker 5But, hopefully you get your car soon.
Speaker 7Last time I called him I was just laughing during half the conversation because he's just talking shit, Bullshit excuses the whole time. And it's funny because I still end the conversation with have a good weekend, man. Just have a good weekend, dude, Don't even worry about it.
Speaker 5I'm not I'm going to go home, I'm going to cry and I'm going to drink a lot of beer.
Speaker 7You relax and you just don't worry about it.
Speaker 4You're a nice guy, you're fine.
Speaker 7You don't need to do your job. It's all good you can fuck off. I can't wait to pick up my car. I hope he says something stupid.
Speaker 4You gonna punch him.
Speaker 7I really, really wanted to Slap that mouth the first day, because he just said like the same five bullshit things over and over again and I'm like dude. We went over this. I know it's fine. It's fine. Stop saying just the same excuse over and over again.
Speaker 5I want to know why you're trying to out-cool me right now. Who, what? You got like one headphone off the ear.
Speaker 7Because they're loud as fuck. You can tell me to turn it down Can you turn it down? Can you turn it down? I don't have buttons over here Is this one you. Is it me that?
Speaker 5one was me. Is it me, that's Rocky? Is it me? That one was me, that's rocky, is it me? We can go back up on mine. Keep talking, honey. Okay, here we go, how's that, yeah, yeah, okay, how's that, how's that? Is that better, is it a little bit? Oh, up a little bit now. Okay, are we hanging a picture? Okay, this way, a little bit keep going up maybe an inch that way, maybe an inch this way, gravy, we're great.
Speaker 7Is that okay, we're set all right, god damn dude that's.
Speaker 17That's why Jay's here, just to make sure.
Speaker 7Make sure I'm in line. Just keeping me in line over here, can't out-cool me on my podcast Cool me.
Speaker 3What do you mean? I don't want to put you in line, I don't know.
Movie Musings and Personal Anecdotes
Speaker 7I just feel more comfortable with the ear open. I don't feel Trapped with full headphones on.
Speaker 17I was a kid that just had one back strap Like one backpack strap on.
Speaker 7I always hated that. I was a kid that had two straps and I cinched it. I thought it was so weird when you would walk and you just see the backpack just hitting the kid in the butt the whole time. I'm like just pull it up, dude.
Speaker 4You're getting into stuff.
Speaker 3I can't hear. You're getting into stuff, so you I can't hear.
Speaker 7So you had to run quick. That was an objective of cinching up.
Speaker 10You knew it wasn't coming off, can't leave no evidence.
Speaker 7It was usually some form of drug in the backpack. Hunter's rage had to be on the move. I was always on the move, dude. Shame, shame, you gotta wear these now Know's rage had to be on the move. I was always on the move, dude.
Speaker 6Shame, shame you gotta wear these now. Know your name.
Speaker 7Those are fucking hot.
Speaker 17Those are Elton Jordan says why the fuck don't I have those? Yeah, those are cute, those are gonna be used later.
Speaker 8Here you go.
Speaker 11Oh, thank you With a wig.
Speaker 4Yeah, they're hot as shit, you With a wig yeah, that's right, with a wig and booby tassels.
Speaker 5Yeah, dude With that sash.
Speaker 3With that fucking mustache. Oh my God.
Speaker 5You look like something from a bad guy from Sonic the Hedgehog.
Speaker 8You wear those and you let a helicopter. It's going to be a. It's a gimme, what's?
Speaker 7his name Like Bling Boy, bling Boy, bling Boy, bling Boy, bling Bling or something Bling.
Speaker 17Bling.
Speaker 10Oh my gosh, she looks like a singer. You look like Lil.
Speaker 5Q.
Speaker 17She looks like what.
Speaker 5A singer With the green hair.
Speaker 17Billy.
Speaker 5Eilish.
Speaker 4Oh, she does look like Billy.
Speaker 5We got BE over here.
Speaker 4We got BE and Young Gravy over here. Young gravy over here.
Speaker 7Young gravy.
Speaker 3I'll take young gravy, young gravy, okay, okay.
Speaker 7That's what I look like. What do I look like? Put that in front of the camera. I don't have hair.
Speaker 5Put that in front of the camera, just leave it. Leave it.
Speaker 3Leave it, there we go. There there's humbun, humbun, there we go.
Speaker 5There, there's humbun.
Speaker 7Humbun, humbunny bun I've been called quite a few things on this podcast. Now that I'm trying to think about it, I've only been called slut Well.
Speaker 3Okay, hussie.
Speaker 17McGee.
Speaker 3Fart out, fart out man Fart up.
Speaker 5Fart it up. Well, we saw a very interesting movie last week.
Speaker 6Horizon.
Speaker 5Horizon. It's that Kevin Costner western that just came out.
Speaker 7I thought you said it wasn't good.
Speaker 5It is Like I wanted to like it so much.
Speaker 8I forgot that even happened. That's how unforgettable that movie was.
Speaker 5I don't even know if I heard of it, it just jumped from story to story so quick. You don't really get invested in any of the characters. Really you don't care. It's just kind of weird.
Speaker 7I just still think it's weird that he got Yellowstone and then I just feel like he thinks that's the only shit he'll do now. He'll be a cowboy, anything he acts in from now on.
Speaker 4He'll be a cowboy. He was dances with wolves. He was OGG open range.
Speaker 7I need to be put on apparently you haven't seen dances with wolves. I don't think I have homework you need to do your homework.
Speaker 5Have you seen him in Robin Hood?
Speaker 4Ooh, that is good. That's a good one.
Speaker 5I forgot about that movie. I mean it goes back and forth with a British accent, you know, kind of awful.
Speaker 7But I still like it.
Speaker 5Yeah, I still like it. It's good, it's good. Yeah, what else? Oh, deadpool Wolverines Getting ready to come out.
Speaker 7Yeah, I've been pretty excited about that.
Speaker 5We got tickets for that already, dang.
Speaker 7I know you do. You already got popcorn too.
Speaker 5Stay on top of it In fact, I got a video of Wolverine for us to watch.
Speaker 7Oh gosh.
Speaker 5It's somewhere.
Speaker 4I think I do Lie I think you had a movie come out.
Speaker 7Yes, I did.
Speaker 4Something to stand for baby. Something to stand for.
Speaker 7He's in one of these videos.
Speaker 5I didn't break it off. Yeah, I didn't know if we were supposed to talk about that on the pod no we can talk, don't want to ruin any of on the pod. No, we can we can talk.
Speaker 7We can talk any of that.
Speaker 5Don't want to ruin any of your future possibilities. Yes, Mike Rowe had Something to Stand For. Come out. I think it was in the theaters for a week. Yeah, we saw that last weekend. Yeah, very good. Very, very good, loved it. It was very well done. I'm good, nice Loved it. It was very well done.
Speaker 7Oh yeah, I liked it. I'm in it.
Speaker 5I'm in the credits. That's cool, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 7We got pictures to prove it.
Speaker 5And then July 30th, the dinosaur movie, the kids dinosaur movie I filmed last year.
Speaker 7I'm actually really hyped about that one Jurassic.
Speaker 5Pet 3 or Jurassic Pet Is that?
Speaker 8in theaters.
Speaker 10Yeah.
Speaker 5We get a special screening in the theater. I don't know if it's going to be released in the theater.
Speaker 7That's exciting.
Speaker 5It may just be streaming or DVD.
Speaker 7Isn't that when you have a pretty heavy role in it Front and center.
Speaker 5Probably three quarters of the movie.
Speaker 4Oh my god.
Speaker 7You don't see the big final edit or whatever, and see how much actually gets put into the movie.
Speaker 4Until the theater. We're all going to watch it together.
Speaker 5Yeah, oh my god, it'll be my first time to see the finished product. It's going to be so cool.
Speaker 7Everyone's going to be, there.
Speaker 8So what was that like for you? Through the micro thing he said, I'm a believer. Is that the first time you got to see your scenes?
Speaker 5No, I actually found those Delivery Delivery.
Speaker 7You passed it in front of the camera.
Speaker 5You put a couple of times and so we were able to watch them, but their app is so bad. We went to a premiere oh, we got a special premiere like a year and a half ago, and I did get to see. I don't think we saw one percenters there, though I thought it was the other one, was it both of them? Yeah, so, but I saw those on the tv. Actually being in a movie theater with not just friends and family but also just other people was pretty cool. Now Brindley had special screenings in some small theaters in Muskogee and Tahlequah Tahlequah and that was pretty cool. The Quah.
Speaker 15The Quah-Quah.
Speaker 7I don't know if anybody heard it, but when we watched the Something to Stand For, there was one point where I saw you and I just couldn't help it. I let out a little, just a little you cried I was just trying to give like a, just you know, just get excited I heard stuff, I heard people behind me.
Speaker 5It's like, oh, but I still had, I still had that moment I was like primates you can't fucking do that.
Speaker 7Just start a monkey chant in the entire theater somehow.
Speaker 10It's my dad. Someone was probing up the rear, woo Huh oh.
Speaker 3What Mm-hmm who Putting in the rear?
Bizarre Banter Among Friends
Speaker 5Next topic Mr Probe, woo Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Well, we already talked about Taylor getting rear-ended. That was bad timing. Old news Old news oh we also learned on our trip out of state to Arkansas.
Speaker 17Or Kansas.
Speaker 5We learned what a buried penis slash inverted penis was.
Speaker 8Do you guys know Thoughts?
Speaker 7Do you know what it is? An inside penis Sounds like surgery gone wrong or something.
Speaker 6It's natural.
Speaker 7It's growing in man when it gets excited.
Speaker 8It goes the opposite way.
Speaker 4Oh, that's unfortunate. You fuck yourself yeah.
Speaker 5There was a woman that got married to a guy for a year and after a year filed for divorce. Divorce.
Speaker 7She filed for divorce.
Speaker 3She was divorced.
Speaker 5Because she didn't know he had one of those inverted penis Before the wedding.
Speaker 8How do you leave that one out? Yeah, they waited. So don't fuck around all the time.
Speaker 5That's right.
Speaker 8That's the moral of the story. You gotta make sure it's not inverted.
Speaker 7Fuck on the first date.
Speaker 17Fuck on the first date yeah, don't make us wait for the third date.
Speaker 5But my question was. My question was Did she ever try blowing through his butthole To pop it back out?
Speaker 4Oh yeah, good question.
Speaker 5They were Christians. This was their first time.
Speaker 7Yeah, expect her to put her mouth on his ass.
Speaker 4It makes sense to me, there's no poop shoot licking.
Speaker 10Hey you got to go a distance at that point Blow it out the other way, that wouldn't work.
Speaker 4Can you have surgery? I feel so bad for her too though you just push really hard right here and it'll, but you're saying she stayed in the marriage for a year.
Speaker 8Is that how? You do it then For a year. You need to get a piercing For a year A string. Could you imagine that?
Speaker 5There we go. That's it right there. God, god and then, for a game you can have a little ring and she's trying to fish.
Speaker 4Or like that game we play at Mom and Dad's you throw it.
Speaker 3Catch it on the thing the ring toss thing.
Speaker 15Yeah, dick toss.
Speaker 3You have a limited amount of time before it goes all the way in.
Speaker 5It's like the timer of a game. The new kid's game, the dick game, cashew eating, cashew eating.
Speaker 8How do you not know that before a wedding, though, surely you got a dry hump or something right, he never got a hand?
Speaker 10It's got to be painful, right.
Speaker 4I don't know it's got to be painful for him.
Speaker 5He can't feel good.
Speaker 3He might, I feel good.
Speaker 5Go hard go limp, go hard go limp, Go hard go limp.
Speaker 7Because that's what I'm trying to think.
Speaker 6It's like a whack-a-moe. How does it?
Speaker 4go pee-pee. How does it go pee-pee?
Speaker 5I know, what it was. It's like one of those when it's soft, it's out. Those birthday toys. That's rolled up and you blow it yeah.
Speaker 3He just has to like close all his.
Speaker 8As a teenager, though, when you wake up with morning wood, I don't know how you're going to pee.
Speaker 21He sneezes real hard.
Speaker 10He can get up he sneezes, coughs at the same time.
Speaker 5She's got to keep a feather on her head. He's like, oh, feather on my head here, sniff this pepper.
Speaker 3She's like fuck me.
Speaker 7Well see they could have made it work. He just could have got really good at going down, he just could have got really good at everything else.
Speaker 4But she's just not about it. She says no, but he's just fucking himself the whole time.
Speaker 7And the whole time she doesn't have to do nothing.
Speaker 17Well, like if she's getting all that, it's like a woman.
Speaker 3The way you put that.
Speaker 11That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 17Wouldn't that be easier, yeah?
Speaker 15It's a whole different ball. Yeah, it's a whole different ball.
Speaker 4Yeah, where are the balls at in all this?
Speaker 5They're just hanging out, sad. We'll do something. Why do we have to be attached?
Speaker 10to this. We're here, don't forget us. No.
Speaker 3Oh my god, have we looked at pictures, ew I?
Speaker 4haven't. I don't have nightmares.
Speaker 5I don't want to, I don't think I can show them on here. Maybe I could have been like guess.
Speaker 15You could have said just zoom in really close.
Speaker 4It's for scientific studies.
Speaker 5It's for science, guys, it's for science. Look at this penis. It goes the wrong way.
Speaker 17I did that with kids once.
Speaker 3No need Whoa Bad timing, jesus.
Speaker 10Christ. It was just a penis bone.
Speaker 3What in?
Speaker 17the actual fuck it was a penis bone, penis bone, penis bone.
Speaker 5The best is, she doesn't know. I'm doing it.
Speaker 17I don't, I'm just watching you press the button.
Speaker 7Right.
Speaker 17But I did. I showed a picture of a binoculum after a kid asked me if there was a bone in a boner and I said no, we don't know. You don't have a bone in your boner. We don't have a bony bone. And then that weekend we went on a date to the bone museum and we found one and I was so excited and it was their bell work. I just put a picture and said what bone do you think this is Boner?
Speaker 3Penis bone.
Speaker 17And it was a long bone and it was a good guess. And then I said this is a penis bone. I was so excited and he was like uh-oh, no.
Speaker 5One time my teacher showed me Guess what Miss Lambert taught us today Penis bone.
Speaker 8Penis bone.
Speaker 7And it's back Important knowledge.
Speaker 17She was impressed. Those kids are a hunter's age.
Speaker 5You old.
Speaker 17And guess what they?
Speaker 12know, hey, they knew that before you did.
Speaker 5Huh, they knew that before you did, you just learned it.
Speaker 4Because she's a great teacher.
Speaker 3Yeah, penis bone, yeah I just learned, it Just figured it out Just learned it.
Speaker 7It's fucking groundbreaking news for me, right now.
Speaker 3Groundbreaking.
Speaker 5Attention please, Bones and boners.
Speaker 7It shouldn't be that funny dude.
Speaker 10What if Jaina's had bones?
Speaker 14But does it just like retract?
Speaker 3She's still thinking about it. I don't know, actually, what's going on here. What's the science of this A boner?
Speaker 17No, it was bone bone.
Speaker 7Bone boner. Oh my lord.
Speaker 17The blood flow doesn't work the same. They have to have some assistance, raccoons also have to have assistance.
Speaker 7It's gotten too science-y now. Yeah, it's gotten real science-y.
Speaker 5And in fact I don't know how much the mics are really picking them up, so we were all quiet as they chatted.
Speaker 6And they just hear.
Speaker 5They're like.
Speaker 4They're talking about raccoon butter.
Speaker 13They're talking about raccoon butter.
Speaker 4Do you like how in our family group chat, dad sends us a picture of two turtles fucking. What other family does that?
Speaker 5They're going at it again.
Speaker 6They're doing it again I hope they do have little baby turtles.
Speaker 8My family's fucked up. Anything that's fucking. They're probably sending a picture talking about it. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3Especially my wife's family.
Speaker 8Fartaloo is part of the family. Yeah, my wife, their whole side of the yeah, they're all fucked up, yeah.
Speaker 7Best way to be, that's right.
Speaker 4I don't feel weird then.
Speaker 7Just some turtles. Fuck it, man, come on.
Speaker 8That is true.
Speaker 7There was a day and a time hallelujah, just about say pray upon us, please be with you I think that's all, jesus, hello are we?
Speaker 8dead this is a simulation sorry I'm playing with effects.
Speaker 3Jesus, hello Jesus, are we?
Speaker 4dead. This is a simulation.
Speaker 5Sorry, I'm playing with effects. I was going to say why are you pressing buzz?
Speaker 7This is a simulation. He's just having fun over there now.
Speaker 5Yeah, I'm having fun. Just a little fun, a little fun Mushrooms, kick him. Let's see what else we can do on his.
Speaker 10On.
Speaker 8Farnley.
Speaker 4Yeah, hello.
Speaker 8Just a little. This is God. You're all fucked.
Speaker 15I knew it.
Speaker 7I knew that a while ago.
Speaker 15A guy with a guy shrimp on the body Koala.
Speaker 3Koala, koala who.
Speaker 4And I will call it a koala.
Speaker 10I'm on the stereo Chlamydia.
Speaker 8It will have. I invented chlamydia Just for the fun of it. Itch away, motherfuckers. Itch away.
Speaker 5I knew you did.
Speaker 8Alright, sorry that was fun. That was fun.
Speaker 17I don't know what happened, so I went off. Alright, sorry, that was fun, that was fun. That was the blasphemy segment.
Speaker 5I don't know what happened, so I went off.
Speaker 7It gets away from you sometimes, man, so what?
Speaker 17accents can everybody do. What accents can everybody do?
Speaker 8I can do a bow.
Speaker 7Not a one. I'm terrible Not on spot. It's just so much worse when it becomes on spot.
Speaker 17Let's hear it, Taylor.
Speaker 7Because me and Jordan do it all the time.
Speaker 5It just much worse when it becomes on spot. Do it, because me and jordan do it all the time. It just doesn't it just comes out naturally
Speaker 15well, I do have a nickel in my pocket.
Speaker 3I got a nickel in my pocket I got that accent. It's kind of what was that child toucher?
Speaker 4I got a nickel in my pocket. You want to get?
Speaker 3it, you want to get it, you want to get it, get it and grab it Jiggle it, put it in your mouth.
Speaker 4Put it in your mouth and jiggle it. I think British is.
Speaker 5I got a nickel in my pocket.
Speaker 7He's trying too hard now. He's trying too.
Speaker 5Now, I can't ever do it again, yeah you lost it Because this guy's over here roasting me about it, jesus, so maybe I'll do this, hey, is that better?
Speaker 7Just run it, butt probe.
Speaker 5I don't know, I'm very bad at accents too.
Speaker 4I know that's my best one, I think, you have to be very.
Speaker 3But you got to do your head like this I.
Speaker 8Hello, that's my best one. I think you have to be very, but you got to do your head like this. I mean, I can be like I sound like I ride the short bus whenever I. Hello, folks.
Speaker 15Yeah, that was autistic. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5Goddamn tornado took her goddamn chicken coop. Again, I can do that.
Speaker 4That's.
Speaker 5Muskogee, I can do claw, you can do claw.
Speaker 10Talakaw, talakwa that was it.
Speaker 4That was it Go down to the old Piggly Wiggly.
Speaker 5Put another shrimp on the bobby. I don't know that kind of sounded. Did that sound good?
Speaker 4No no.
Speaker 7I don't think any of them are going to sound good coming out of this room.
Speaker 5Yeah, anybody else?
Speaker 3I mean, I tried, Taylor does good ones, so does Jordan. Jordan does. I'm probably on the spot like this.
Speaker 7How about you? I already did mine, hello.
Speaker 15None.
Speaker 3Koala.
Speaker 8My wife would teach her whole class in English actually Eucalyptus, sunroom Eucalyptus.
Speaker 15Koala, koala.
Speaker 5Koala, koala, koala bit me right in the ass yeah the British and the koala the koala accent cheerio govna govna alright, govna, nah, I stink at it. I can't do it can't do it. Glad you brought that up case you're welcome I can blow some bubbles.
Speaker 6That matches the accent you had earlier, the Popeye situation.
Speaker 15I, I, I Olive oil Can you do that again.
Speaker 8I didn't mean to say love. Please do that again. I couldn't. I thought you were part of the Walking Dead.
Speaker 13I'm a magician.
Speaker 7Whatever he was doing earlier Me eats, me spinach. Yeah, there you go that one.
Speaker 3Am I the only one hanging?
Speaker 5Sprinkle some crack on him.
Speaker 3Johnson Can you smoke out of that.
Speaker 5Puff, puff Pass. It's just a fake Fakey, it's a prop. It does have. You probably put some type of special effects, something in there to.
Speaker 7Create some smoke.
Speaker 5Smoke.
Speaker 4Let's put peyote in it. That's what happens. Let's put peyote in it, peyote.
Speaker 17Mate, that's like the detox term. Want to take a pong rip.
Speaker 7I want some more Be ours till I die.
Funny Stories About Pets
Speaker 6More peas, more shmagma, please oh my god, now I don't.
Speaker 7Stomach hurts, my back hurts Too far away. My back hurts Sp back hurts.
Speaker 17Too far away.
Speaker 7My back hurts. Spill it, don't spill it, don't spill it.
Speaker 4What's everyone been doing for the summer? We're in a danger zone right now.
Speaker 7Fucking working in a 110 degree.
Speaker 3V. Thank you Fuck that noise. Yeah bye.
Speaker 5That's good, that's good.
Speaker 4Oh yeah, 4th of July. The neighbor turned British.
Speaker 15That's how drunk she was 4th of July 4th of July, 4th of July, I'm a woman.
Speaker 4It's independence thank you love you, america treason day, treason day, it kind of fits yeah, here we go.
Speaker 5We did separate ourselves here's a here's an audition for a movie coming out soon.
Speaker 1Last one is I came here to do two things Hand out hard candy and blow some motherfucking dicks off, and I'm all out of hard candy.
Speaker 15I came here for two things To suck some hard candy and suck some dicks. Suck some dicks.
Speaker 3I came here to do two, two things. And what are they? Hand out hard candy.
Speaker 10Oh, hand out hard candy.
Speaker 3And blow some motherfucking dicks off and blow some motherfucking dicks off. Hot supper, it's the gun effect. Suck some dicks. I'd cast it Came here to do two things.
Speaker 6Suck some hard candy Suck some dicks.
Speaker 7I want to see you do that audition, Dad.
Speaker 4Yeah, recreate it.
Speaker 7On the spot, let's go. What's the line Action?
Speaker 5I came here to do two things Suck some candy or blow some motherfucking dicks off, and I'm all out of candy.
Speaker 3I didn't like it.
Speaker 7I didn't like it. I liked it. I'm all freaked out now.
Speaker 4He's hired.
Speaker 7You were shaking the shit out of your desk man. Yeah, I also did.
Speaker 5Dude. I was fully in the role.
Speaker 8He's acting. It's called method acting.
Speaker 5Jesus man.
Speaker 7There is no such thing.
Speaker 5I'm probably going to get a couple of bookings right off that, right there.
Speaker 7I knew you were on this. I hope you do.
Speaker 5I hope you do. I hope you do. Yeah, me too. All right, I got some more.
Speaker 4That's a seal. That's a seal. Ah what is happening? Oh no.
Speaker 3Ew Ah, the jingle dangles Ouch.
Speaker 7Ugh, that cat's possessed. Ouch Cat balls. Cat balls. Down now, joe. This is why you don't own a cat. What Dude, what the fuck Are you?
Speaker 17a cat owner? What the fuck.
Speaker 7No, you can't.
Speaker 15Her face.
Speaker 7I've learned now that it's not cool to it's not cool to hate. I have so many strong fucking words right now.
Speaker 11Not even mine. I really do About cats.
Speaker 4Don't bring up pussy around him About people who don't like cats.
Speaker 7Oh, it's the weirdest fucking thing. Cats are the greatest. I used to be you.
Speaker 17I used to be you and I fucking changed it. Someone changed it. Her oh, she's got, that's her cat, that's her cat.
Speaker 7He is the greatest fucking cat ever he really is. Has that happened? He beats the shit out of me for sure. He whoops my ass. I can't fight him.
Speaker 15I try, they're not all like that.
Speaker 7My favorite thing is at five in the morning. When I get up I'll walk through the living room to go turn the lights on and he will fucking sneak, attack me from out of a dark corner.
The Shoe Shit Fiasco
Speaker 8So explain the affinity with cats. Why do you love it so much?
Speaker 7I love her a lot and then I don't know it just kind of changed I mean he's the shit, you don't have to do anything.
Speaker 17Okay, I'll give you that, you just got to throw some fucking food in this thing every once in a while, and he's, he's good. Hey, more power to you, do you, bro? I have a dog too. I have a dog too, and he's the greatest I think you had to like, uh, validate, like cats are fucking great, but also I just no, I got both and I'd actually be stoked if that happened because that's fucking hilarious. Son of a bitch.
Speaker 7Oh sorry, Were we taking over your no, no, and I'd actually be stoked if that happened, because that's fucking hilarious. Because I would Well, I would immediately call her and be like you have no fucking idea what just happened to me.
Speaker 16You know what he just did to my taters.
Speaker 11Oh, my God.
Speaker 16What taters?
Speaker 10I couldn't imagine he just did to my taters, just but also tater changes everyone's opinion anytime.
Speaker 15I met somebody that says they don't like cats, they met him and they're like okay he's like a good cat man well, and see fair, you're probably not gonna have what is about to happen okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 7Good setup with a cat.
Speaker 5It will only be with a fucking dog.
Speaker 7Yeah, he fucking swipes you out maybe.
Speaker 9Poor little slick mistake.
Speaker 3sir, Look at where your dick is it's in my coffee cup. For fuck's sake, God damn it dog.
Speaker 6God damn it dog.
Speaker 3Your dick is on my fucking coffee cup. Dick you fucking prick, oh God.
Speaker 7It's the animals of the best. That's a great one. He couldn't move that dog. He couldn't move that dog.
Speaker 5He couldn't move that dog. That's why he's like you, fucking prick, and the dog is like you told me to be right here, dude, we're chilling we're doing it for the gram. I don't know what my dick is touching.
Speaker 17I think your dog would do that.
Speaker 8My dog would do it out of spite because he's a motherfucker.
Speaker 17Wiener on your coffee.
Speaker 7Yeah, a real smart dog would bite off the lid and just fucking set him in, just set him in.
Speaker 5Oh set him in.
Speaker 3Put him in the spa.
Speaker 11Huh, We've given Bubba whiplash, so much in the car that now he knows, hold on.
Speaker 14Oh, my God Hold on.
Speaker 7Every time before we turn, I'll tell him to hold on and he gets off.
Speaker 3Okay, yeah.
Speaker 22I'm okay what happened I was running on the trail and I stepped in some dog and I sat down and tried to clean it off my shoe and this guy come running by and he stepped in it. I laughed at him, said I just did that. He come over and punch me in the face like three times, called me a, a nasty son of a bitch.
Speaker 14Oh my God, I'm so sorry. God, are you okay?
Speaker 7I don't even understand how did you not give us a setup for that one? You just fucking played it. That's sad man. That is sad.
Speaker 5It's never going to happen with a cat.
Speaker 7That's aggressive.
Speaker 17The second dude thought the first dude shit in the. Thing.
Speaker 4And he stepped in human shit.
Speaker 7He didn't realize it was dog shit. Well, that dude must have been having a really bad day to immediately assume that.
Speaker 21That dude's in fucking running shoes.
Speaker 5Did you hear what that guy said? He said though, I just did that.
Speaker 7Oh, I just did that, like just did that. Oh, I just did that. I just did that. Like why are you a psycho though? I just stepped in it, I just did it. No, that other dude, he's got some anger issues.
Speaker 8It's like we gotta rewatch this.
Speaker 17Okay.
Speaker 7For some context.
Speaker 17Redo.
Speaker 7A whole new perspective this time.
Speaker 22Okay, running on the trail and I stepped in some dog shit and I sat down and tried to clean it off my shoe and this guy come running by and he stepped in it. I laughed at him, said I just did that. He come over and fucking punched me in the face like three times, called me a nasty son of a bitch.
Speaker 14Nasty son of a bitch oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 7The lady's response is like oh my god, I'm so sorry I'm so sorry, I I'm so sorry, I don't ever
Speaker 4talk to people.
Speaker 8That context was completely different.
Speaker 4watching it the second time I saw someone sitting there. I needed the second time. I'm not going to stop and talk to him.
Speaker 3Can you imagine? Getting the?
Speaker 5story from the guy running.
Speaker 3The guy had the fucking fighter dude on the trail Fucking shitting on the trail.
Speaker 5He fucking shit in the middle of the trail. I step in it. Motherfucker starts laughing at me.
Speaker 4It's like Daniel Oldham I was just about to say. Is that Daniel Oldham?
Speaker 5Yeah, do you know the story?
Speaker 8No, but I want to know.
Speaker 5Okay so.
Speaker 7I've got some dang shit stories.
Speaker 5I take me Dan you.
Speaker 5You, I don't fucking know, eric, like my girlfriend at the time, we go down to the Wichita Wildlife Refuge, hargis, and we hike back into this Boulder Creek area that we have gone a few times with my dad. We found a cool little swimming hole off the creek and so I take him back. There we're swimming. Dan goes hey, I got to go, take a shit. Okay, go, why don't you go? So he goes, takes a shit, comes back, we swim for a little bit longer and like, okay, let's hike back, time to go, as we're walking down the trail cliff this way and like part of the creek with just overgrown grass or whatever, on the other side, shit right in the middle of the trail.
Speaker 4Human turd and I'm like what the fuck.
Speaker 5and and I hear Dan laughing how old is he?
Speaker 8Like 22?.
Speaker 5This was like 20 years ago, so yeah, no, no. I mean he probably would have been like 14, 15. And I was like, right in the middle of the goddamn trail he's like, what do you want me to do? Get shit on the cliff, and I ain't going in the tall grass, it's all right there.
Speaker 13So we all had to walk over his shit yeah, because it was just a little trail teenage turd I'll still never forget planting some trees with him and he's just so nonchalant.
Speaker 7that's why it was so funny is that we're sitting there digging a hole and he just stands up, takes a break and rips one, and then it's a cool couple minutes, you know, and then he just stops again and looks at me and goes, yeah, I definitely shit.
Speaker 10And he just turned around.
Speaker 7He just turned around and I he shits his pants so much. He just got in the truck, Maybe another couple minutes just comes out and just has his underwear in his hand. Did he break them up to you? No, he just had them in his hand and found some little trash can around the construction area.
Speaker 4Went and threw them away.
Speaker 7And he just came back and was like, well, I'm just going to raw dog it the rest of the day.
Speaker 4Hopefully he hung them over the side Dude Just on straight blue jeans no undies.
Speaker 8Oh God.
Speaker 7But still, just the funniest thing to me was him just like it was a second, oh my God. And then he looked back up and, oh yeah, I just shit myself, he took him a second to really figure it out, Sicko.
Speaker 8He's so quiet too. That's the funny thing, he's vile.
Speaker 7Went right back to work.
Speaker 5He's a quiet shitter. No, he's not a quiet shitter.
Speaker 6You hear it every time you hear it every time I don't know what he makes comes out of it.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 8That end.
Speaker 5The scent of him the scent. So you don't know this story either, probably. So we went camping one time, red Rock Canyon, and Dad's setting up camp, me and Dan go run off playing, oh my gosh, and there was like a big hill that was mud at one point and had dirt clods. And we're crawling up this big hill and I'm knocking some dirt clods loose, so they roll down and hit him.
Speaker 10And so I let one loose. He's being an asshole, yeah.
Speaker 5One bust on his head. Sorry dude, watch out, the stuff is loose up here anyway. We get to the top, we lock it, walk along the cliff and we're. We're spying on other campsites, just being boys, just spying. Dan comes up, taps me on the shoulder hey, shane, I gotta go poop and I go okay go poop.
Speaker 3Okay, I'll be back, don't leave.
Speaker 5And so he goes and shits. He comes back and I'm like, are you good, you okay? He's like, yeah, I'm good. So we keep spying on people the rest of the day. Go back to the campsite. Youite probably roast hot dogs on the fire, do whatever.
Speaker 13Marshmallows.
Speaker 5So we lay down to go to sleep and Dan just starts ripping ass and they smell exactly like shit.
Speaker 12I'm like God damn, daniel Poo-poo.
Speaker 5Like God, your farts smell like shit, man, stop it, they're filling the tent. He's like if I tell you something, will you not tell dad? I'm like of course, yeah, you can tell me anything. Well, you know, when I went to go poop, when we were spying on those people, yeah Well, when I had my pants pulled down and I leaned down to shit, it fell back right into my underwear and I was like so you just pulled them back up and you've been going all day.
Speaker 5He's like yeah, yeah, I don't know, and I'm like Dad, dad, and I go rip it out of the tin and you hear like 12 hours because he's probably high as hell.
Speaker 4He didn't want to deal with doo-doo pants.
Speaker 5He stomps on him. Daniel come here, and so dad gets him cleaned up. I haven't seen the underwear, ew, whatever. So the morning comes, we have breakfast, we're packing up, leaving, and then dad has the underwear on a stick. And then dad has the underwear on a stick and I see these little Superman underoos, just fucking Jackson, pollocked with shit all over them.
Speaker 5Doo-doo Blown out and I said oh dad, what are you going to do with those? He goes, I'm just going to lay them on the rim of the trash can, so the next campers find them so gross.
Speaker 8It's the gift campers find them so gross it's the gift that keeps on giving.
Speaker 7That's Dan oh my gosh Just to leave them on the rim of the trash can too. Shit's so nasty.
Speaker 8So what's your worst shit story for you?
Speaker 5For me myself would probably be trying to keep up with a dude like 10 years younger than me at the gym when I haven't been in forever you should, and he goes regularly no, not in the gym, but we'd take some pre-workout before and I'm like, okay, let's go in. This dude was like a star in baseball. He's now a fireman, so I was trying to keep up and you're not my army mentality. The military mentality kicked in, and so I was just competing. I've got to keep up.
Speaker 4It's been a minute.
Speaker 5And I do my best, but we're done. I'm leaving, I get to my car, I open the driver door and I'm just like, oh god, here it comes and I just barf violently. Also, don't eat many corn dogs before you go and work out.
Speaker 7It's not a good. Who does that? He's always been doing it wrong.
Speaker 5I did One time Many corn dogs Many corn dogs just coming up and it's so violent that I just shart like probably twice, and then In your car. No, just as. I'm throwing up and I'm like, oh God, I just shit myself. In the parking lot, then yeah, in the parking lot had to blow out. Next to, like you know, like a sports car and I think I was actually on the passenger side in putting like my gym bag and stuff in, because I remember looking and going oh god, they're gonna get in their car and it's just throw up in many corn dogs little drops of liquid poo it dripped out of your shorts.
Speaker 3Yeah, it dripped out of your shorts.
Speaker 5And so I drive home. I drive home With shitty pants. And.
Speaker 10I get out of the car Are you?
Speaker 7trying to lean one half of yourself out the whole time, sliding all over. You don't do a good job.
Speaker 12And you're sweaty and I get home and I get out and there's just a poo puddle sitting in the driver's seat.
Speaker 5It's dead lady. I'm tired. It looks like a melted Three Musketeers. Just clinging to the seat. Oh my god.
Speaker 3Is this gonna come out?
Speaker 5Is this gonna stain? And then people are gonna ask me what car was that in? Like an old Jeep Cherokee I had.
Speaker 4Did you get some OxyClean?
Speaker 5I don't remember.
Speaker 10Need a lot of.
Speaker 8Febreze oh.
Speaker 5God.
Speaker 4I knew a girl that shit in her boyfriend's car one time on accident driving it. It was so fucking funny. You know her, I know her. We went to lunch accident. We went to lunch and we were getting back in the car and she was like I had to fart and I just thought it was a fart. Right when we were getting in the car she drove and it was her boyfriend's car and she was like a little shit came out and I got so like scared and just sat down. She rolled the window down.
Speaker 4We noticed she was like start chain smoking like while we were driving back to work and we were like god damn. And she like ran out of the car and we were like what the fuck you guys share pants or something she was like I did I did.
Speaker 15You're right, it was, that's even better. Then we sent it to him, are they still?
Speaker 10together no.
Speaker 4They got married, but then they got divorced.
Speaker 5Oh, now I know who it is.
Speaker 7Cause the shit.
Speaker 5I bet I know who it is.
Speaker 4Sign it.
Speaker 5I can't sign.
Speaker 15You can't. I thought everybody knew. I thought you were born, that I thought everybody knew that.
Speaker 4I thought you were born that way. Maybe you're born with it.
Speaker 5No, that's Maybelline oh.
Speaker 8A, b, C, d E. You know Well, I took sign language in college as a music major Don't write me.
Speaker 10Don't write me.
Speaker 8They made me take a foreign language and I was like fuck that, and so I took sign language.
Speaker 10She doesn't live in the state anymore.
Speaker 5Okay.
Speaker 17What's your shit story?
Speaker 8Not shit. Well, okay, yeah, Shit Not shit but shit, yeah, yeah. So one day when I was preaching actually it was Sunday morning- so we went to Mexican food?
Speaker 10No, we went to go eat Mexican food. Afterwards was Sunday morning.
Speaker 4Oh that's rude Into the tabernacle.
Speaker 8No, we went to go eat Mexican food afterwards.
Speaker 4Oh no, oh, that sounds good though. Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 8So then it was Lowe's, and as soon as I got out of the car, man, it was like bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. You know, you started getting the Google guts.
Speaker 12You know, what.
Speaker 8I'm talking about so to get in there, you know, and I get into the stall of Lowe's man and my pants get right below my cheeks and it goes boom and I just shit all over that fucking stall.
Speaker 10Oh my god, I mean from side to side.
Speaker 8I look back. I was like I can't believe that much shit came out of my little hole. I was literally like in shock. Well, it's not been penetrated before, so I imagine it's little.
Speaker 10It dilates, I think.
Speaker 8And so that's, true.
Speaker 9I'm dilating.
Speaker 8But yeah, so I shit all over that thing who's talking? And I freaked the fuck out and I went and washed up and got out of there as quick as possible. I thought I was on camera too, so I didn't go back to Lowe's for a good six months.
Speaker 4They put cameras in the bathroom.
Speaker 8I said cameras? Well no, but profusely like that motherfucker just blew up the stall so there was no way, I was going back in tallaqua.
Speaker 4So I had to drive all the way to muskogee for a whole like six months because I was scared to death to go back to that store can't go that low they know my butthole hey buddy
Speaker 8hey, I'd have been looking at camera, that much I mean. I tore up that fucking stall I mean it'd be fun to be this shit like on the toilet paper the toilet paper dispenser thing, like all the way back, I'm telling you what I just shit splattered that whole fucking thing. I don't know. I got it. It was bad. I got a story. I didn't shit myself, though, so I was happy.
Speaker 5I got a story for you.
Speaker 9Oh shit.
Speaker 5Did you shit? Oh, and this story includes Dan, of course All the shit stories.
Speaker 5Obviously so we're up late watching TV, my buddy Mitch is spending the night, my dad's gone out, my mom's asleep, it's late, we're watching whatever. Daniel's sleeping on the couch and then all of a sudden, like comes to and he's like oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Like five, ten minutes later he bolts ass from that bathroom to the back bathroom and he's butt ass naked. We just saw a streak and then the shower turned on and we were like what the?
Speaker 7fuck happened in there.
Speaker 5And then the smell hits us and we're like now. We're like now, gotta see. You know if it's that if it smells that bad, gotta investigate we went in there and the and the door opens in and it's a little bathroom so you can't see the toilet area yet. So we have to both get in the bathroom and kind of shut the door and it's that. He's just.
Speaker 7It's picasso, just left right center, what happened to this man's asshole at a young age dude and so we just start gagging again.
Speaker 5And then we get in the living room. We're laughing our fucking ass off just from that, knowing why he hauled ass and turned the shower on. We're like holy shit. And then my dad pulls up.
Speaker 4And we're in the living room, strong as fuck.
Speaker 5Yes, and we're like, fuck, what are we going to do? And I go Mitch, my dad's probably going to go in that door, we need to see if he even notices. And so we hide behind his recliner and we're just sitting there and dad comes in that door and he stumbles.
Speaker 5And he does say something like oh, it stinks he just comes in and he lays down on the couch and we're like oh fuck, how are we gonna get out of here? Because we're trying to hold our laughter in and he's like he doesn't know we're here.
Speaker 5I don't know, I'm drunk and then we have to army crawl our way out and we're laughing our ass off. The next morning I kind of walk in there to see if it's still there and it's been cleaned up and my mom was just pissed, hell yeah, all morning. That's why I cleaned that up.
Speaker 8So he didn't even clean it up.
Speaker 3Hell, no Actually she didn't, and it's still there, that bathroom still stinks 40 years later.
Speaker 5That's right.
Speaker 8If you want to know what the texture on the wall is.
Speaker 4Yeah, do-do.
Speaker 8Natural taste.
Speaker 10Yeah, that's right. We're gross people, gross people.
Speaker 5Gross people. Here we go. I got another one. Actually, before we do this, I want to get a. It's a poll.
Speaker 8Roll call Consensus.
Speaker 5If you could be reincarnated into any animal, what would it be?
Speaker 15Cheetah.
Speaker 5A bird, just fly everywhere, get away from everything. Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 9A bird.
Speaker 10I've always said that Just a bird I just want to fly around, man.
Speaker 7You want to shit on people?
Speaker 4I would fly around mine. Okay, I'll be a crow. You want to shit on people?
Speaker 17I would shit on people you'd be a pigeon I'd be a pigeon no, I think he'd be a grapple like a walmart one of my, one of my main resources would be cigarette butts, that'd be something I'd really go after that potato chips.
Speaker 19Have you ever seen a pigeon nest?
Speaker 3Give me some cheese. They're so funny, they're like three sticks.
Speaker 4I'm going to use that I'm going to use that guys. No, pigeons are resourceful. I think yeah, they're smart too. You can teach them stuff.
Speaker 3I'm going to be a pigeon, bro, he's not smart.
Speaker 4I have a note for you.
Speaker 3I have a note for you.
Speaker 17I have a bird sound app.
Speaker 4Oh.
Speaker 17I have a bird sound app, guys.
Speaker 3Don't forget.
Speaker 15I'm a nerd.
Speaker 5I saw Casey had that app opening, listening to the birds in the Walmart parking lot and I'm like what are you doing, Taylor? Because you said you go out on your back patio.
Speaker 10Yeah, I got a woodpecker.
Speaker 5And you're watching birds in the morning.
Speaker 7No, I got a woodpecker. Birds are awesome, man, and then he does. I watch birds on the old patio.
Speaker 10There's a lot of birds out there.
Speaker 13man A lot of pretty birds out there Fly A lot of pretty birds.
Speaker 7Out there man A lot of pretty birds out there Fly catcher I need a birdhouse or something.
Speaker 4For me, I'd be a cheetah.
Speaker 5Bear Cheetah.
Speaker 4Okay, cheetah Skinny, fast have eyeliner on Bear.
Speaker 5A bear. I'm kind of this is cheating Camel, I would definitely come back.
Speaker 1Are you really going to be a gorilla? No, I would definitely come back as a walrus.
Speaker 7No, you wouldn't.
Speaker 4That's not a real answer. I was going to say like a tapir.
Speaker 7Not a real answer. Oh, I'm talking to Wiener.
Speaker 4That's why it's not a real answer. No, just wait. Oh, oh Talent. What was that noise? You just want to be a big water creature jerking off all day. Big old water dick.
Speaker 5I want a binaculum you just want to come in the water.
Speaker 4I'm going to come back as an animal with a binaculum. Binaculum. Oh, they got to go poop.
Speaker 7You know they're going to go poop in the living room, just a little Do cheetahs have big dicks, so you want to be a male cheetah? No, I'm just kidding, oh, you just want to know what you're working with if I was a cheetah, did I have small? I think they do if.
Speaker 17I was a dude, I feel like I would have a big dick. What if you were a dude? Do you think you'd have a big dick? No, I have a big dick. What If you were?
Speaker 4a dude, do you think you'd have a big dick? No, I'd have a long, skinny one. Long, skinny, still long. But skinny.
Speaker 7Still long, just skinny Kind of looks weird. Long a thing gets it in.
Speaker 5If I was a dude, I don't know if I would have a big one.
Speaker 7If I was a girl, I'd have a huge vagina, yeah chicken toe would be.
Speaker 4What does it even mean?
Speaker 5yeah, it's a big vagina, I would have massive camel toe big lips, yeah, fat pussy lips.
Speaker 17I know I all of a sudden don't like this conversation. When I was in eighth grade, wait, wait hold on, that's my fucking coochie lips hanging out dear god, I was in eighth grade some dude asked me no yeah what I hadn't even had my first kiss. Yet at that point can I see your labia. And he said those are some big lips they're root beef. He said hey, casey, do you have a fat pussy? And I was like I don't know what that means. What.
Speaker 3I don't know what that means. I hope so.
Speaker 7I don't know what that means you sound like a character from fucking King of the Hill or something.
Speaker 5No, we have dogs. I'm allergic to cats, you have a fat pussy.
Speaker 3You have a fat pussy. Hey, oh my God, what the fuck. Yeah, you be that guy and say that.
Speaker 7Hey, you got a fat pussy.
Speaker 10Hey, he's not like Hank Hill. I can't say it.
Speaker 7That's what I imagined it's somebody from.
Speaker 5King of the Hill. Yeah, even though their voices haven't changed. That was accurate. Casey sounded like immediately too, and you know the kid asking is going to make his voice as low as possible.
Speaker 3Yeah, you got to find the position You're like exasperating yourself over there.
Speaker 2Gross.
Speaker 3Well, I've never been asked that, that fuck you guys are doing good, but I've been asked some other stuff girl what I said, but I've been asked some other stuff oh, I thought you said ass muncher ass
Speaker 5muncher, yeah, you've been asked other stuff, like what you want to share. No, okay, that's why she said it quietly.
Speaker 4I got called a butter girl at track, though we were at Carl Albert.
Speaker 7Is that like a everything's good butter face?
Speaker 4No, because I'm white. I was at Carl Albert running track Palm colored person Palm.
Speaker 7I ain't never heard that one. What the hell babe.
Speaker 10Hold on F***.
Speaker 7She said palm colored person.
Speaker 3Right here, everybody's palms are white.
Speaker 7It's the real thing.
Speaker 3We all got something going. Third day Third day.
Speaker 5Third day.
Speaker 15I've seen somebody call us palm colored people.
Speaker 7She watches too much TikTok.
Speaker 15I am chronically online.
Speaker 7I'm chronically online.
Speaker 4She called me a butter girl, though we were running track. Did you take a?
Speaker 16bath. When she said it, I was like Marjorie.
Speaker 5Marjorie.
Speaker 7My name's not Marjorie.
Speaker 4We were practicing our baton handoff. We were in the middle right before the thing started. We ran into each other, their group and our group. She goes, get out of my way, butter girl. And I was like Dang.
Speaker 7You guys should have had a fucking step-off right there. You want to fucking cheer this out, bitch like a fucking step off right there, you want to fucking cheer this out bitch, okay girl. Taylor said oh my gosh no, I just was like edit that out. You know, taylor was just like he's walking away. Stop yelling at me, I quit. Do you want toast?
Speaker 5I don't have any brain on me we used to play football in the front yard and Taylor was fast back then. I was fast as fuck boy. I would pick Taylor for my team. I'd just hand the ball off to Taylor.
Speaker 4But we're two. And then my butt grew and I'm not fast anymore. No, I'm slow as fuck.
Speaker 5That's me too. I think I can run fast, but in my mind you I think I can run fast. No, but in my mind you really think you can run fast. No my mind does my mind's like dude. You're fucking all in there. You're going so slow yeah.
Speaker 16I run like I'm in molasses.
Speaker 10My mind still tells me I'm 22 and athletic.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 8Then I look in the mirror and I'm like fuck.
Speaker 4Yeah, 22 and athletic.
Speaker 17Then I look in the mirror and I'm like fuck yeah, I tried that at work. I was like I can keep up with these 25-year-olds. My liver tells me I'm 23.
Speaker 5No, your brain says you're 23.
Speaker 17My brain says I'm 23 and my liver's like fuck you bitch, you probably need to slow down right now.
Speaker 13Whoa.
Speaker 5She got that mixed up.
Speaker 3Watch your words, man, jesus, how.
Speaker 4She got them mixed up. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3Watch your words, man, I wasn't listening Jesus how dare he Okay.
Speaker 7All right, man. Why'd you ask us about the animal thing, dude?
Speaker 3Because of the dicks. Oh, we watched it already. We watched it, but just the tit.
Speaker 7I mean, does that change your mind? Yeah, you want to be a walrus, Hell no that's scary as fuck.
Speaker 4Birds don't have dicks. What Birds?
Speaker 3Birds have pee-pee. Birds have pee-pee.
Speaker 17Those small pee-pee Ducks have corkscrew pee-pees.
Speaker 3Corkscrew, that's true, come here bitch. I'm on corkscrew, he's very creepy. Come here. Man Got you bitch.
Speaker 5No, you may want to be a walrus now.
Speaker 19That's why I asked all that.
Speaker 5No, I'm good.
Speaker 4Pigs have a corkscrew dick.
Speaker 10Pigs you can eat it, you gotta tell right Eat fucking slop.
Speaker 7They can eat it. Is that what you said?
Speaker 4Eat fucking slop Pigs, that's all they do is they eat fucking slop. Yeah, they're also like raised as slaughtered, yeah.
Speaker 15Wait.
Speaker 17Yeah, wait.
Speaker 15You will be our breakfast like flopping around. They just do so much. Maybe I mean flopping flopping around.
Speaker 5You don't know that it's a different question I'll give you gout.
Speaker 17It sounds like a weird word. Give me gout.
Speaker 7Eat, fuck flop.
Speaker 17Eat marry, kill Live life love.
Speaker 21I hate those signs.
Speaker 4I love it.
Speaker 5What if because, we don't have Chris Hansen anymore doing that to catch.
Speaker 3Predator.
Speaker 10It's just weird guys on the internet.
Speaker 5What if the news would play videos like these. I brought Domino's. Okay, I brought Domino's.
Speaker 15I brought Mike's lemonade Smurf.
Speaker 23Smurf. As a resident of Miami-Dade County, it is your right to know the names and likenesses of sex offenders living in your area. As a public service, we have created this videotape so that you and your friends and family can stay aware, stay safe and maybe even have a little fun. What Enjoy.
Speaker 8Have fun.
Speaker 7Oh, they're going to make a. Is it like a rap? Oh, no, my name's Jerry and I fuck the kids.
Speaker 21The state of Florida has asked us to disclose our sexual crimes to you. We were bad, but now we're good.
Speaker 3Has our old buddy.
Speaker 21Into your neighborhood A girl.
Speaker 10What's that? We're trying our best to be Plumptious men of society.
Speaker 21We're not here to start a little trouble. We're living in reply to the sex offender show.
Speaker 1I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain From touching my neighbor's kids again. What I did was not too kind, but I'm a nice guy. You'll come to find I've got a backyard and a real nice pool. Y'all should come over for a.
Speaker 21Yeah, sure, all right.
Speaker 12Vernon and I love to ski. I zip and zoom on through the snow to strap on my boots and watch me go. But I can't ski until December. Till then I'm just a sex offender. I'm Charles Dolan.
Speaker 2I'm Charles Dolan.
Speaker 3What in the fuck?
Speaker 7That can't be real.
Speaker 17It's not, it's fucking.
Speaker 5Florida. It's on the internet. It's probably real, it's.
Speaker 7Florida. It is fantastic, though.
Speaker 8The cop looked like Sex Fender too. That's what I thought the whole time he totally was.
Speaker 7I thought it was going to turn around.
Speaker 5Watch guys. It'll go viral.
Speaker 8We'll get paid what am I supposed to do? We'll buy a van, we'll drive around, we'll be fine, that's right.
Speaker 5We, I think that's him.
Speaker 4He just shaved his mustache.
Speaker 7I thought the first character would be the cop.
Speaker 3Trick.
Speaker 5ya, guys, we're performing at vacation, bible schools and stuff Cruises.
Speaker 7They gotta keep them locked down and know where they're at the whole time.
Speaker 5The spirit healed them, guys.
Speaker 4Keep them all together.
Speaker 5Guys, we just got booked at Falls Creek. I believe it.
Speaker 17We're fucking big time now? I would believe that we're big time.
Speaker 5We're bringing the boy fam plus a girl.
Speaker 4Everybody fucks in at Falls Creek.
Speaker 5That's true, oh my gosh.
Speaker 10Pretty close you tried. My tummy hurts from the drinky drink.
Speaker 7My tummy hurts from the drinky drink.
Speaker 15You got poo poo. You're too sweet.
Speaker 7You like toasting tall women? I drink beer, man Can't handle that pineapple.
Speaker 13I might grab a white claw.
Speaker 5I got a black tooth you can't handle that pineapple.
Speaker 7You want a white claw? I'll take a white claw.
Speaker 5You want an applesauce pouch.
Speaker 7Go-go juice, Go-go squeeze man Chicken nugget.
Speaker 3Actually it's called a chicken nugget.
Speaker 7No, I can't do that. What's the stuff I get?
Speaker 5called Brain food or something.
Speaker 4Just give him a regular goddamn beer Brainiac. Some fucking boozy shit.
Speaker 5Thank you, let me get an applesauce.
Speaker 3Go go.
Speaker 5Huh, no, it's not, you just got it. Thank you, you're all out. Thank you, you're all out. Thank you, mega apple, hell yeah these things are good.
Speaker 6I hate applesauce.
Speaker 4I hate applesauce and.
Speaker 3I hate oatmeal. How do you hate?
Speaker 7applesauce. I love both of those things.
Speaker 4I don't like oatmeal. I'm there with you. My mouth is salivating.
Speaker 1I like jello. I like eating jello.
Speaker 4I'm there with my mouth is salivating.
Speaker 7I'm where I like. I like eating jello and like. How do you?
Speaker 5not jello. How do you not?
Speaker 6you got to just switch around in there. Man goes in and out your teeth. Yeah, it feels good, it's very tasty Feels funny.
Speaker 7I like it.
Speaker 4Oh, I like that, but I don't like applesauce and oatmeal. It's like gritty and lumpy. It's like what.
Speaker 7I can eat so much oatmeal dude I love oatmeal. Yeah, I like oatmeal too.
Speaker 4That's like eating stuff out of your butt crack.
Speaker 8No, that's something entirely different.
Speaker 7For sure. It could be soggy.
Speaker 5Depends on what kind of time of day I just like my little pouch applesauce.
Speaker 7Oh, you be baby, be baby, capitan.
Speaker 6It's a baby.
Speaker 5It's a baby, I, just a baby I have no money Hoping to get a sponsorship, sponsorship.
Speaker 4Sponsorship for my oatmeal and my apple shot.
Speaker 7Keep on dreaming, bud.
Speaker 4I need my diapers too, mommy.
Speaker 5I just hit the tripod. Hey, that would have been a swish if not for the tripod. I just got my shot blocked okay.
Speaker 8That looked like your wife's athletic ability right there. The Allstate trainer.
Speaker 11Called out.
Speaker 17Hi, squeezy, I was an Allstate trainer. Fuck off, what'd you train Athlete dick?
Speaker 7She trained the muscles on them boys.
Speaker 6You training that dick muscle she's training, that yes.
Speaker 17That's also true.
Speaker 4Oh, my God. I'm fucking telling your dad, I'm telling your dad and your mom.
Speaker 7They know.
Speaker 4You share your.
Speaker 7Casey went through some dark times while she was training Sucking.
Speaker 6She's like. I never sucked a dick, tugging and sucking.
Speaker 8Mama caught us in the car, you and her. No, oh, no I was joking.
Speaker 7Mr Fartopolis or whatever they were calling you, mr Fartopolis Fartalala Fartal. Fartaloo. I like Fartopolis, fartalala, fartalopolis.
Speaker 5You guys are gross, kinda like that.
Speaker 4Casey started it.
Speaker 7Our loot's stinking buns.
Speaker 4Stinking buns. Stinking buns Sticky buns, sticky buns and honey buns.
Speaker 5All right, here we go, baby.
Speaker 4And I'm big buns.
Speaker 13And.
Speaker 10I'm big buns.
Speaker 4Who's this?
Speaker 5We can't see anything Dad. Yeah dum-dum, you're not going to yet.
Speaker 7Okay, fine.
Speaker 3Whatever you're not going to yet, okay, fine, whatever, we don't want to be a part of it.
Speaker 7This goes through every sound he has on his soundboard.
Speaker 15I shit myself in walmart today. I'm never going back to that walmart again I feel you okay, so I've not been able to shit for like four days oh my god dieters drink it's the china green dieter brand.
Speaker 15It's like a green box and they're like okay, yeah, like this will make you go to the bathroom, like you'll feel better. I was like great, this is what I need. I took it this morning. A couple hours have passed, nothing's happened. I'm like, okay, great, whatever, I go to walmart to pick up a couple things. I'm wearing a sundress. It's sundress season, okay, and you don't usually wear panties with sundresses, okay I was just, and you don't wear artsy and I guess, except the farts turn into shit.
Speaker 15I was in the bathing suit section of walmart. They had a great new selection of bathing suits and you know the bathing suits are right in the front. I go to fart because I felt like it. You know what I mean. And I thought and there's nobody around me, I was like I know it's probably going to be like a silent one, and what I did.
Speaker 5I like the piano.
Speaker 15Stuff came out.
Speaker 9It draws you in.
Speaker 10Stuff came out, it came out it plopped.
Speaker 8That's a whole ass shirt.
Speaker 15And I thought I did not, I denied it, I was in denial. I did not shit. I was like no way.
Speaker 11That wasn't me.
Speaker 15I didn't even bring myself to look who did this. There's shit on the ground, my shit is on the ground, my shit is on the grass and I was looking and I didn't. I don't think anybody saw it, it wasn't that busy. So I run, I start running to the bathroom. Shit is coming out of me. It's literally I can't squeeze my ass hole tight enough Shit. I run to the bathroom. I get there and I drop atom bombs of shit into the toilet and there's a lady that starts cleaning the bathrooms and I tell her ma'am, ma'am, my butt hole I'm so sorry, I couldn't help it.
Speaker 15I've got no underwear on to even catch it. I'm in, sorry I couldn't help it, I've got no underwear on to even catch it. I'm in a sundress. There's shit on my sundress. Please help me. She was such a nice lady and she said it's okay, it's happened, which it probably hasn't. She was just saying that to be nice and she got on her way.
Speaker 8You know it hasn't. She was just saying that to be nice, I'm sure it has.
Speaker 17I'm sure it has, you know it has Walmart.
Speaker 15Walmart, it's happening, there's a cleanup that needs to be done. So now everybody knows, everybody at Walmart knows. I'm sure I was the talk of the town and I'm sure people, customers, are like what is this On the ground and shit Mine. I'm sure people customers are like what is this on the ground and shit mine. I'm sure there's camera footage of me just running and shitting as I run and I start crying and I have not stopped crying. The nice lady, she, she brought me some sweatpants and clean underwear when I was finally to get enough shit out of me where I wasn't involuntarily shitting anymore.
Speaker 15Thank God for her. Bless her fucking heart. And she even walked me in my car and I felt like every eye was on me. Like I was on a stage.
Speaker 8That's a good person. That's not happening at Target and everyone was watching me shit.
Speaker 15They're gonna point you out I finally had a break from shitting just now and I feel like I have to shit again. Talking about shitting, Do not drink that shit, do not drink it. China greens Do it, okay, don't.
Speaker 4China greens, china greens Stay away from them.
Speaker 7China greens, man, man, they're all bad, I mean I already knew that your sister's first go-kart.
Speaker 4Oh, you're all bad. I mean, I already knew that your sister's first go-kart.
Speaker 3Oh, that's me. Oh shit, oh God.
Speaker 13Turn right. Get a tree and let it fall in the neighbor's car.
Speaker 3Oh God, look at this, look at this, oh my God.
Speaker 7You done broke a hip.
Speaker 3Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here, gary. It's fake, it's fake, it's fake.
Speaker 15It's fake, gary, gary, his face.
Speaker 3I'm sorry, I don't like snakes I don't like snakes, I couldn't tell oh, my God.
Speaker 15Don't like snakes.
Speaker 8I think he's done for the day he's going to the food house. Introducing the.
Speaker 18Lesbian Landscaping Company. Our butches have been going down on bushes since 2019.
Speaker 11When it comes to gardening.
Speaker 18Don't forget to focus on that landing strip. It makes your welcoming so much more inviting. We handle weed overgrowth with care. After all, some gardens haven't been touched in a while. We'll strap on our gardening gloves and prune with pride Our favorite tool Scissors. Of course, when it comes to sod, we lay it right. We don't just have a green thumb, we use all our fingers. We know exactly where to put them. Call us today and let us show you how we make your bush our business.
Speaker 7That's cool, that's amazing.
Speaker 8I love it. That was fantastic.
Speaker 5LLC LLC.
Speaker 8I'd call him yeah.
Speaker 6I probably would too. Alright, alright.
Speaker 7It's working, what's working?
Speaker 11What the fuck? What the?
Speaker 3fuck are you doing oh?
Speaker 4my god, what the fuck that's like. Your luck, bro.
Speaker 7That is like your luck to a teen, but see that right there I don't feel so bad about, because that has to be an old geriatric woman. That's gotta be. You can see the handicap thing in the mirror.
Speaker 8I don't know if she just got her medication and didn't get a chance to take it. That's what it looks like.
Speaker 7I want to get out pissed and be like come on, she has no idea what's going on.
Speaker 8What the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 14Is it my grandson this way? What the fuck are you doing? I just gonna visit my grandson. Horny bastard won't keep jerking off. What the fuck.
Speaker 3What the fuck are you?
Speaker 7doing. She's like she saw that vehicle and gassed it. She did what?
Speaker 5the fuck are you doing? I love the airbag pop yeah Just like boop boop.
Speaker 13Grandma's like oh shit.
Speaker 11Fuck.
Speaker 12Fuck, I can't do anything. Fuck, fuck, shit. Ask it.
Speaker 8You can see her arms. She's literally looking right at him too. It's not like the head's turned.
Speaker 17No, she looks what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 2Wow, oh, rick's sick.
Speaker 8Oh, that does suck. Shit, shit, shit. Oh no, they tossed it way in the air.
Speaker 5You see that shoe. Yeah, watch that shoe.
Speaker 8It was way in the air.
Speaker 3Come on now. Dang yeah, is that the marinara?
Speaker 5Marinara lost it. Whose fault? Let's see.
Speaker 3Oh, oh, my Atlanta. It's the bike's fault.
Speaker 7Bike's fault, bike's fault, it's the electric bike.
Speaker 5It should be in the fucking street. Pussy, pussy, it's a souvenir bar man.
Speaker 21Are there two people on the bike. There was, yeah, there were two people.
Speaker 3Let's get it, girl. Oh shit, what the hell.
Speaker 7I was hoping she'd kick somebody else off her airs.
Speaker 21It's on. Can you turn it?
Speaker 10off. Turn it off.
Speaker 21Oh, that's just fucked everybody.
Speaker 3There's still kids in there.
Speaker 7That was the whole plan. Nobody oh there is.
Speaker 3That kid's a ghost. Now he's dead already.
Speaker 15Oh no, he's still there. He's like what the?
Speaker 8fuck happened. I know where next door is going to be.
Speaker 3Can we watch that part again please?
Speaker 7The kid just walking back, just dazed.
Speaker 21So there's one kid, where's the second one? Come out at Right here. So there's one kid, he's three. Where's the second one? Come out at Right here? There he is, holy shit.
Speaker 3And then he turns into a ghost. I'm dead, doesn't? Get hit by a car. No he's not dead. I'm kidding, no.
Speaker 7You know they were at the top of that thing too.
Speaker 9He just got fucking flipped over. Hey man, hey man, Y'all want to go to suck it? Nah, I'm going to go to the jerk shank.
Speaker 7Whatever your preference is man.
Speaker 5Look when a video starts out with hey man you know it's going to be good.
Speaker 3You want to go to suck it. Let's go to suck it.
Speaker 9Hey man, Y'all want to go to suck it?
Speaker 10Nah, I'm going to go to the jerk shack, jerk shack.
Speaker 7Oh, I love these.
Speaker 16You look like a lollipop my grandpa would give me. You piece of shit. I'm going to rollerblade off now, fuck, I just tried to roast this mailbox. It told me to talk to the hand. What do you think? It is the 90s? Chill dude, don't lose your head over it, that's so stupid.
Speaker 7It's so stupid.
Speaker 13Man, I snorted some weed. I could have swore that shit wasn't meth. But then these shadow people came up and gave me these license plates and they started calling me gay bro because my farts smell like winter. Bro, I ain't gay man. My underwear was on backwards, that's why my farts smell like winter.
Speaker 3There's so much to unpack in that one dude I ain't gay, I ain't gay I ain't gay Underwear on backwards.
Speaker 21That's the funniest shit I've ever heard.
Speaker 13Man, I snorted some weed up at a store that shit run metal. But then these shadow people came up and gave me the license plate and they started calling me gay bro because my farts smell like wiener bro. I ain't gay man. My underwear was on backwards that fart smell like wiener bro, I ain't gay man my underwear was on backwards.
Speaker 7That's why my fart smell like wiener. That's why my fart smell like wiener.
Speaker 12Oh my gosh it's unreal can you tell me what comes on the a1 burger no see, fuck that.
Speaker 7that guy's a oh no.
Speaker 16Roll off.
Speaker 12I love the nonchalant look away, oh shit. He was a little hesitant on that one.
Speaker 11Why does?
Speaker 8he do this change accent.
Speaker 15Look at his mask over his nose.
Speaker 7Yeah, that eye contact was wild. I'm legally blind.
Speaker 3I'm legally blind. I'm all red.
Speaker 6I couldn't even be driving right now.
Speaker 7I'm legally blind.
Speaker 17How much they cost.
Speaker 12How much they cost.
Speaker 16That one you just turned around.
Speaker 3Sorry, I don't have my glasses with me. Ah, turn around. Sorry, I don't have my glasses with me, ah that is AIDS, aids, aids.
Speaker 15I'm not having that there's.
Speaker 12AIDS. Oh my gosh, sorry, I didn't order, yet I'm suing my optometrist for plagiarism. These are getting funnier now, what kind of sandwiches?
Speaker 6sandwiches you guys have. Oh, don't speak.
Speaker 3Chicken.
Speaker 12I didn't order yet I'm missing my left eye on my left side.
Speaker 7I'm missing my left eye on my left side. He's got the same t-shirt.
Speaker 10He went around for like two hours one day, just fucking wreaking havoc on his town. Oh my god, Dude that guy's got way too much free time.
Speaker 12I like that guy, big ass scoop for a very nice lady.
Speaker 14Very nice lady, I don't want to say it Big ass dick.
Speaker 7Jordan has showed me that before and she goes Hunter this is you, I got this watermelon ball.
Speaker 15This is how you interact with me. I love you.
Speaker 21Here it is again. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6Here you go Serving me ice cream.
Speaker 12Big ass scoop, scoop very nice lady, very big ass scoop for uh, I don't want to say it big ass bitch I don't want
Speaker 7to say it big ass bitch it wasn't even a pause in between it.
Speaker 1No, I get this watermelon ball and it looks light, but look how big this flash is Watermelon ball and it looks light, but look how big this flash is.
Speaker 4He's not palm color, no, no, oh, what is he?
Speaker 7doing? What is he doing? Oh dude, oh Whoa.
Speaker 3Oh, oh, oh, my Linda.
Speaker 7I didn't realize I was playing that long today, guys man.
Speaker 5Guys.
Speaker 15Guys, watch me do a back tuck.
Speaker 5Guys, I can do it, I was a cheerleader.
Speaker 6I was cheer captain.
Speaker 21I was cheer captain in high school guys.
Speaker 10I was a trainer. I can do this, don't worry about it.
Speaker 3I was a trainer.
Speaker 15I sucked all the dicks Watch.
Speaker 7She looked good at first, like she had it.
Speaker 3Yep, she looked good at first, like she had it Yep.
Speaker 8Oh wait, she's about to stick it. It's the thump. Hands up. It was the thump of the head it's the fucking thump that's heavy.
Speaker 7This is I got it. She's going to.
Speaker 8Get it, becky, I got it, I got it, I got oh.
Speaker 7She was looking for Chiropractor recommendations, for sure.
Speaker 8I love that the hands Go up afterwards. That was something to be proud of, I'm done.
Speaker 7I did it, I'm done, just hands. What's going on?
Speaker 5That sex last night was so good, but oh my god.
Speaker 3I had that itch. Kind of burns when I pee. Wait, hold on.
Speaker 7This is going to be the cringiest shit yeah.
Speaker 5Exactly. That's why it's in here. Because this is what I think of some young white women these days.
Speaker 13Young white women.
Speaker 5Everyone in the back like God. They gotta fucking do it again.
Speaker 22yeah, I can hear you, it's loud wait, oh, is he playing that noise?
Speaker 11the funny one no, grab that damn dog, make a perfect circle oh my gosh dude, what the fuck.
Speaker 19Oh, I hope this kid goes flying oh my gosh shit, uh, oh, one of them did plot twist that poor second kid, I was going through the roller some money section on the track me and it's like all the way through yeah, and me and this guy's lines come together and we hit, and then I'm like going over my bars and his, his handlebars, I knew something hit my ass like so hard and it hurt so bad and I'm laying on the ground like, oh, and my ass just hurts like so bad handlebar on his booty.
Speaker 19And I have no idea. Something's in it. Yes.
Speaker 3In his hole.
Speaker 19The guy's lever snapped off. What?
Speaker 3Holy fuck, whoa.
Speaker 8What are the chances?
Speaker 19Yes, I had no idea, he seems kind of happy about it. Yeah, he likes it.
Speaker 7These guys are all about fucking Stoke dude. Yeah, this is mad Stoke right now. Yeah.
Speaker 19I crawl off the track, I get in the medical, side by side. They take me to the ambulance and, yeah, I had to sit.
Speaker 5He's sitting the whole time.
Speaker 19I just know my ass hurts. It's so bad so I get in the ambulance. He had no clue that it was in there yet, so I got to the hospital, so I drive the whole ambulance ride I get to the hospital and the lady's like can you just flip over real quick before I did anything? They're like I just want to make sure you're not bleeding too bad out of there or anything. If you did get penetrated.
Speaker 19He got penetrated and she's like oh my God, and I'm like what? And she's like the handlebar brake or whatever, or the handlebar is snapped off in your butthole, that dude's so calm right now.
Speaker 4He is. He's had morphine.
Speaker 7Oh, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it is, because I do call all my friends. I got to tell them.
Speaker 4There's something going on.
Speaker 5What the nurse did, though. She tells them and then immediately goes around the corner to the nurse's station. And she's telling every nurse and he just hears laughter.
Speaker 19Yeah, I just feel it just sticking out.
Speaker 15Just like out, they're laughing.
Speaker 17Gnarly breath.
Speaker 12He said that was the worst part getting out.
Speaker 19Yeah when they were pouring it out when the ball part did not want to come out. It hurt so bad I need to hear you have a tight ass.
Speaker 3I have a tight ass.
Speaker 21I knew you had a tight ass, bro, I can tell Do you want to send the x-ray.
Speaker 19Yeah, I'll have my dad send it to you. Yeah post it.
Speaker 5That's X Games shit right there bro.
Speaker 7That's crazy, Bro. You're about to make it Triple X Games.
Speaker 4Only your butthole.
Speaker 19I don't know what he was in. I was probably like 8 to 10, probably.
Speaker 9Yeah, and then my bike broke also.
Speaker 7Yeah he's going back out.
Speaker 4He's like oh, I got it, that's just my baby dog.
Speaker 10That's just my baby dog, that's just my baby dog.
Speaker 14That's just my baby dog, hey, don't move him I want
Speaker 5him right here, Bitch what is she doing?
Speaker 14What is wrong with people?
Speaker 4Hey, what's up y'all? Oh, yes, I love, I want him right here. Bitch, what is she doing?
Speaker 17What is wrong with people? Hey, what's up y'all? Oh, yes, I love the Pentecostal Jesus.
Speaker 5This is for Rocky, bring it on. Who A guy we know. Oh, it's for him.
Speaker 14Back out here at the Free Pentecostal Church of God, out here on County Road 437. And this is what I walked into. Now I'm telling you it started off with sister sarah looking for a contact and turned into this.
Speaker 12There's brother doug right there. Bunny hop brother war over there doing the crip walk.
Speaker 14There's brother paul on the keyboard breaking it in for the 99 2000. Sister mildred's just passed by wearing the curtains from her house. She does it from time to time. I don't know we are burning it up. Yeah, brother. Yeah, brother Doug, right there, and them Cole Hawns and them slacks. He said he was going to show you how to do the Dougie. Show you how to do the Dougie. Delbert's behind him on the bass guitar. He's just waiting for the potluck lunch to start.
Speaker 2He can't wait.
Speaker 14And Brother Sam. Right, there is a diabetic. I think it is hot as hell. I guarantee you Mildred. You wore your drapes again, your drapes. We burn this carpet up out here I tell you what we have to replace it about every six months. But y'all come on out to see us Now. We like to say if your people ain't hopping, then your service is probably flopping.
Speaker 12So y'all come on out and see us and we'll show you a good time.
Speaker 10Come on out, come on now.
Speaker 14He says step on a crack and you'll break your mama's back. Step on a crack and you'll break your mama's back. Oh, here's.
Speaker 3Wolverine.
Speaker 5There we go.
Speaker 8I have been.
Speaker 5Who's ready for Deadpool, wolverine who?
Speaker 3He is those pretzels yeah.
Speaker 8Dude that eye Mm-hmm.
Speaker 13You can only look at one really.
Speaker 3That goes on for a while he's grooving it this, this video is way too fucking long Roll my reed.
Speaker 8Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Speaker 11I needed about eight seconds of it, and then after that it gets a little weird.
Speaker 8Oh, there we go.
Speaker 11He's like wait a minute.
Speaker 8I thought he was going to poke himself in the eye.
Speaker 11That's impressive.
Speaker 8I thought he was going to try to put it back.
Speaker 7I really didn't fucking like that. Anus Anus.
Speaker 13He should not be on the show. I don't think he's allowed a hundred foot within those.
Speaker 4I think he's in an anus right now. That was it.
Speaker 7That was it. That's a police knocker. That's a little aggressive.
Speaker 9You're like oh no, oh, he got his shit, he's twitching, he's twitching.
Speaker 7Oh, no, oh.
Speaker 3Oh, I learned something on your front porch.
Speaker 8If you're at that point why not just take it all the way down? You're in the woods. Oh my god. You just open up a leg and just let it go. He's going back to his truck. Don't get back in the truck.
Speaker 5Yeah, what's he gonna do? He's leaving. I'm gone, guys, I'm gone.
Speaker 3You just left that on their front porch. I just shit on your porch, and I'm leaving.
Speaker 5That was me at the gym.
Speaker 3I'll be back. I'll be back.
Speaker 13You need anything little man.
Speaker 3What the hell was that? What the hell was that? What the hell was that? That's my grandma.
Speaker 5We got to do this.
Speaker 17Oh yeah.
Speaker 7You blow all your air.
Speaker 8I'm never gonna do it. So you blow your air out and then you scream.
Speaker 15Yeah, I'm trying to scream.
Speaker 5Who's going first? Me, yep, you go first.
Speaker 11Like you cannot breathe in. Okay, hunter, your turn.
Speaker 7Okay, hunter, your turn. No, you breathed in. I think I breathed in a little bit, I didn't know how to do it.
Speaker 11You sound like a parent.
Speaker 7You have to just breathe out so hard and make a noise that's hard.
Speaker 15I've tried to do this before. I can't figure it out.
Speaker 7I can't figure it out. I've got to blow it out and make a noise and then yell at the end.
Speaker 15Like you're pooping.
Speaker 5Let it all out and then yell at the end.
Speaker 15Like this.
Speaker 3Oh hi.
Speaker 5Okay, jordan, you do it, she's dying?
Speaker 15Yeah, that was dying. All right Case, see, I feel like she's doing it wrong. I am. She's dying. Yeah, that was dying.
Speaker 7Alright Case Sounds like she's doing it wrong.
Speaker 5I am Let it all out first. Let all the air out first. It's like a baby Let it all out.
Speaker 7Oh gosh Damn, see what the fuck was that? I don't know. It's not easy man. Oh God Damn, see what the fuck was that. I don't know, I don't know. It's not easy, man, it's not easy.
Speaker 5He had that brake handle, snap off yeah.
Speaker 4It felt good, oh I did not like that.
Speaker 7I did not like that at all. We all got a little. We got a perspective that we did not want. I feel like this is pretty intimate.
Speaker 3I feel like this is pretty intimate.
Speaker 21Wow, okay, let's move along, let's move along.
Speaker 22I feel like we know each other on a little different level now. Oh, you want more.
Speaker 17Yeah, all right, okay, let's move along. Let's move along. I hate, this game.
Speaker 16Oh, you want more.
Speaker 7Yeah.
Speaker 15All right what.
Speaker 3What are?
Speaker 8you doing.
Speaker 7That's.
Speaker 3Inez, I guess.
Speaker 7That ain't no tailbone.
Speaker 10No.
Speaker 3I can't do anything.
Speaker 7He won't loosen.
Speaker 11Wait, I can tell you if you break your tailbone. Did you know that that's how they go in and fix it?
Speaker 7Have you broke your tailbone?
Speaker 8How do you know that.
Speaker 15No, you don't have to have surgery.
Speaker 10sometimes Are you in the medical field.
Speaker 17I broke my tailbone once and they did not do that. Yeah, no, it's not always that serious.
Speaker 7Did you break your tailbone?
Speaker 15No, you're passionate about it. Someone told her that she should.
Speaker 5She's chronically online, so she just has so much random knowledge, I think I told this story before on the podcast, but I got a chair massage where the guy went in my mouth.
Speaker 17That's true, I was there. It was nice though, wasn't it? It was.
Speaker 5So you were gay for like two seconds I deep throated his index finger.
Speaker 10Why did he see your mouth full?
Speaker 5Like he was resetting my jaw.
Speaker 7So, you're just leaving out the part where he shoved his cock in your mouth.
Speaker 5Yes, I'm leaving that out. Yes, I'm leaving that out.
Speaker 17That doesn't happen at the mall. Oh, he also touched my boots.
Speaker 5It wasn't at a mall, that was at a hotel. He's filling every couple up.
Speaker 15Yeah, he's like I need to eat my sushi.
Speaker 5So, I think I'm changing my profession. I want to be a chair.
Speaker 7So you already have an idea of what ethnicity this guy was.
Speaker 5Hey you okay with me cupping and pinching your nipple?
Speaker 6He's like I gotta adjust your elbow.
Speaker 17Yeah, I just gotta do it, you know it's a thing we don't do a whole lot. His name was Eric.
Speaker 5The Kama Sutra Eric finger-fucked your mouth.
Speaker 7I don't know, and y'all paid for this. I did.
Speaker 5I tipped him oh.
Speaker 6I love this guy man I never, get this guy.
Speaker 13What If my?
Speaker 14best friend don't like you, I sure as hell don't.
Speaker 11Yeah, Facts. And if my best friend catch your left bitch, I'm going to catch your right, and then we're going to call the ambulance and I'm going to ride in the ambulance. And when they ask what happened.
Speaker 13I'm going to say you got whop, bobbily bop blop bam, blip, whop, bobbily b?
Speaker 3Oh yeah.
Speaker 5Oh, we're coming back.
Speaker 11Facts, facts. And if my best friend catch your left, bitch, I'm going to catch your right. And then we're going to call the ambulance and I'm going to ride in the ambulance with you and when they ask what happened, I'm going to say you got what Bobbley, what Bobbley, bill, bill, bill, bill.
Speaker 14I believe it too, her eyes over the back of her head that was a strong voice.
Speaker 5That baby needed that. It wasn't the first time either.
Speaker 8No, that's how the baby got there.
Speaker 7Yeah, yeah, that had happened, the baby would not be there. Depends how many times Please enjoy. You gonna shit while spinning in the air or something.
Speaker 4Oh no.
Speaker 7Jordan knows what I'm gonna be doing at home later. I feel like I kind of do this already.
Speaker 2It's not funny. I'm not just kidding.
Speaker 8It's like he's part of the Airbender tribe.
Speaker 10Yeah.
Speaker 6Oh my God, I'm going to do that right there.
Speaker 7We actually had a moment where I realized that I was being way too extra and I'm like you are my woman. Why am I doing this to you? I should probably stop with the fart, shenanigans.
Speaker 8No, so I've stopped. No, I've stopped I was.
Speaker 7I was a little too much, I think I don't feel like there's enough to what I do. I just keep going it's a lot of farting well, I, I'd be farting, but I just don't, man, I don't do all the theatrics with it nowadays my wife still laughs.
Speaker 8Oh, I mean in the cheeks yet again.
Speaker 7That was also too long.
Speaker 3You only needed that's me no, she gonna break a fucking ankle. That's a.
Speaker 8I feel bad laughing she goes, that's me.
Speaker 7No, she gonna break a fucking ankle.
Speaker 17That's a lawsuit right there, like it's not because she's a big girl, it's just good sound effects.
Speaker 7It is a good sound effect she also did a weird foot stance on that last a uh trojan twisted mailbox.
Speaker 16Yeah, for his and her pleasure this pos just got tko this mailbox thinks it's playing chess queen? Piece of shit a lot of the resorts in cancun offer day trips to see this piece of shit. Oh, don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll grow into it eventually. Mailbox, a piece of shit like this one. Go to primemailboxescom.
Speaker 4Mailbox man.
Speaker 7Does he like sell mailboxes now?
Speaker 6What are you doing here? I'm just Goonie. I'm about to month a joke. What Say less? That's W. Let's hear it. Bet Knock, knock. Who would be? Riz, riz, who Rizzler, the Glock commander? Oh my god, that's for real. I'm doing it. I'm like the mom. That's for real.
Speaker 7I heard this fucking reaction. Yeah, that's not cool dude.
Speaker 6Skibidy, skibidy, all right. Well, I can't let gang know that I F'd with it, except it's TTYL and wild crocodile Alligator.
Speaker 3Alligator. I don't like it.
Speaker 7I thought you were on a bad shroom trip.
Speaker 10Yeah.
Speaker 6I'm like scared right now.
Speaker 7I hope her daughter does those. It's not her, it's Tiffany.
Speaker 21Oh my God, that's Bubba.
Speaker 3My ass Stop, okay, sorry, oh my God Dude, what's happening, oh shit.
Speaker 5That's how I got my cheek. That's how I got my cheek. I'm sorry there's fucking some straight fucking kung fu cat Wow.
Speaker 3And he's like I'm sorry, a mad pussy. Oh, oh, oh God, oh my God.
Speaker 5He was probably on a job interview. Hello, oh yeah.
Speaker 7Oh, that's a dick. Oh, stop Jordan. Just that's a dick.
Speaker 9No, stop Jordan just feels bad for every cat.
Speaker 3He's stuck on something Fuck.
Speaker 5OG&E yeah, fuck that. Oh my God, where the fuck he come from. I got you and have the girl know she can like see into the future. Fucking skydiving dog. His parachute, don't open.
Speaker 8From above. Oh my god.
Speaker 4Oh my god.
Speaker 3Oh shit, my Versace. Oh my god, my daddy's gone. Oh my god, hey bitch, I'm gonna watch your shit.
Speaker 5That motherfucker was hung. Did you see that?
Speaker 7tip.
Speaker 15He's a big boy.
Speaker 7He had sack.
Speaker 15He had sack.
Speaker 7Hold up. I want to see his sack again.
Speaker 3What the hell?
Speaker 7Oh, oh, damn damn oh my god he's got that dude in a fucking chokehold those dogs like that are insane to me no way is he shitting? He did no see, now that's a dog. You need to put down. What's wrong with you, bro? Why, are you standing up like that?
Speaker 3Aria Aldridge Woo.
Speaker 5Oh God, Okay, now go tell everybody what you want to be when you grow up.
Speaker 6I want to be pregnant oh.
Speaker 8She got it Did not. I think she meant pregnant.
Speaker 13I want baby in me.
Speaker 8Put it in me.
Speaker 13Put it in me.
Speaker 3Wow.
Speaker 5Kindergarten graduation is crazy. I want to be pregnant. The whole crowd too, and it still goes on with them.
Speaker 7Mixed emotions. Parents like I don't put the fucking camera down.
Speaker 5Fuck yeah.
Speaker 8It's dance break time. Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 5Hit it, yes, yes, yes, yes Did it, mmm. $20. If you know who sang this song.
Speaker 4Madonna, maybe not, she did it.
Speaker 7This video was purely just for him.
Speaker 10Dance. Break guys One moment, Yep.
Speaker 7Let me feel my 80s roots.
Speaker 5I feel like when I dance it is kind of like Eddie Murphy, oh Really. Eddie Murphy, oh Really.
Speaker 3Really, isn't that like a hit?
Speaker 7Isn't that like kind of a big 80s song too? I think you're right.
Speaker 3I mean now. I've heard of this song.
Speaker 5Oh yeah, we got it. This one. I like the white girls.
Speaker 6They don't really say who let her out. That's me.
Speaker 7Throw the bows, Mike.
Speaker 6Kia. That would be your dance. You want that, sir.
Speaker 7Just kind of nervous.
Speaker 5YouTube is probably going to give me a copyright strike. Fuck you.
Speaker 7Oh my God, we're just moving. Yeah, no, it's just and.
Speaker 3I start just barely moving, just keeps working up. I'm just trying to get this high.
Speaker 7There you go. Oh, Jordan's going to go pretty hard in the kitchen on some little dance numbers.
Speaker 8A little dance break.
Speaker 4Oh no.
Speaker 21Yeah, you did.
Speaker 4You farther.
Speaker 15What the hell was that like that all that was painful yeah, he did not like that smoking and well and
Speaker 3this is working out.
Speaker 7Are you?
Speaker 12driving.
Speaker 7This is fucking fantastic.
Speaker 13I'm pulling into my doctor's office actually. So just give me one second. I'm parking right now.
Speaker 7Okay, you have a suspended license. Maybe I don't understand something.
Speaker 9This is a driver with a license suspended.
Speaker 17That is correct, your Honor.
Speaker 13And he was just driving.
Speaker 9And, and, and. He didn't have a license.
Speaker 8The fuck's going on. He's like are we fucking serious right now? I think it's with the charges your Honor.
Speaker 5yes, I think I hit connect too soon.
Speaker 4I thought.
Speaker 13I'm looking at records. He should have gone out and he just stopped and got out.
Speaker 15That is correct, your Honor.
Speaker 5There's a side note right here.
Speaker 8He's like does somebody else think this is fucked up, it's just me.
Speaker 7He raises his hand.
Speaker 13I don't even know why he would do that. The connect bond is revoked in this matter.
Speaker 9And it is turned himself into the Washington Post by 6 pm today.
Speaker 20The failure to turn himself in will result in a bench warrant with no bond.
Speaker 21Oh my God, You're driving dude.
Speaker 7Hey dude, what are you in for? I got a different kind of stupid.
Speaker 5It's a great story Sit back, god damn.
Speaker 3What are you doing? Help me, I'm going to help you.
Speaker 6I need a drink before I get to happy hour. My neck hurts because of you, god damn swamp.
Speaker 5This is mom and dad.
Speaker 4This is mom and dad. That know. This is mom and dad.
Speaker 5That's why I put this in here. I immediately thought of.
Speaker 17David and Anita right here, my face hurts looking at you.
Speaker 3Just put it right the fuck there.
Speaker 5This is just killing me right now.
Speaker 17Every pain I have in my body is from you. What is the fucking problem? Success with gnomes? Where?
Speaker 6are I swear?
Speaker 3I dropped you when you were a kid.
Speaker 6Someone dropped you. You know, I got so fucked up last night.
Speaker 3I was there. I know how fucked up you got, do you?
Speaker 21know how to gritty?
Speaker 16No, watch me Gritty. What are you getting, dad? I got to get some underwear. I got skid marks.
Speaker 3You're not getting underwear at Salvation Army.
Speaker 6Oh yes.
Speaker 3I am.
Speaker 10Oh yes, I am, oh yes, I am, oh yes.
Speaker 15Here comes the bitch. Oh my God, you were a kid. It wasn't me, probably, dad.
Speaker 1God, I wish.
Speaker 21I put the new underwear on before I got here. You're a dumb fuck Looking good. Where are you going?
Speaker 3I'm going to get shit-faced. Get the fuck out of my way. I'm watching Days of Our Lives.
Speaker 1Do you want to hang out? Sure, what are we doing? I can flick it.
Speaker 6Did you shower? I'm a little crusty but I'll be fine. No, no, no, no, no. Clean up your dirty fucking underwear, gordy, and there's leftovers. Tonight I'm going out, fucker, that's a leftover.
Speaker 16Hey, on a scale from one to ten, how fire is my fit? Stop peeing outside, you have to come outside.
Speaker 10I don't ever pee inside I haven't showered in three days.
Speaker 6Oh, you just shut up. So what Do you?
Speaker 16know, I had so what you scared me so bad. I wet the bed last night.
Speaker 21Shit, a little bit too Shit a little bit, do the fuck, does it it smells like shit.
Speaker 8He's my favorite. I love it yeah.
Speaker 3I love it, I love him. Oh, my god.
Speaker 7Every pain in my body is because of you.
Speaker 16I'm out here today talking shit to mailboxes on my rollerblade, so when I'm done with my Big Mac, I put my tray on top. Mailbox More like this guy's litter box. Who lives here? Sally and Jack Skellington? Fabulous Mailbox More like this guy's litter box. You're peaked like that. Who lives here? Sally and Jack Skellington? Piece of shit man. Sorry, I haven't seen, dorothy. You are this piece of shit, just the rollerblades to end it.
Speaker 16It would look like if they opened a Chinese restaurant at the top of the Leaning Tower pizza. It would look like that Leaning Pisa shit. Who do you think you are? Huh, a crime scene photographer. Piece of shit. Hey, honey, look the pieces of shit. Sent us a holiday card, piece of shit. If you want to mailbox a piece of shit like this, go to primemailboxescom. Gosh, oh.
Speaker 3Here's my Get it back.
Speaker 8That's Ranger, although it's usually Cooper.
Speaker 6Mac Daddy.
Speaker 8Mac Daddy. Wait what Ranger humps Cooper, nonstop.
Speaker 16I'm out here today talking shit to mailboxes.
Speaker 8Cooper's the kid. I feel bad for him.
Speaker 16He's a little bitch a lot of times, so when I'm done with my big man, I can put my tray on top.
Speaker 21You McDonald's looking piece of shit.
Speaker 5Sorry guys. Come on man oh God, oh God, oh God. I'm sorry, it's a one-man show, people, I'm sorry, it's a one-man show people Calm down. Technical difficulties, calm down. If only I had four arms, four arms. Well, you better hurry, before we do TikTok.
Speaker 15Bachelors. I better go too, then. Oh shit, I got stuff.
Speaker 10I gotta pee, I gotta poop, I gotta eat.
Speaker 7I'm hungry, you got it Walgreens.
Speaker 3I don't know what to do. I didn't know you guys were gonna have to go be at the same time.
Speaker 7Baby, can you just pause it? Dude, huh, can you just pause it? And then play it.
Speaker 5I like letting it roll. Dude, let's take it all in.
Speaker 7Rip that dude. Suck a muck, suck a muck. What the fuck? Suck a muck, suck a muck.
Speaker 5Suck a muck, suck a muck, suck a muck. I'm doing my part. I'm doing my part. I'm doing my part.
Speaker 7I didn't do fucking shit. I love that my part. I didn't do fucking shit.
Speaker 3I love that fucking guy Girl we've been together for such a long, long time.
Speaker 6And when you're near me, my heart does shine. So I've got to ask before we start.
Speaker 3It's a question straight from my heart. Can I see one today? Oh yeah, just give me one today, today.
Speaker 2I just want to see one of your titties, gary sounds so sultry.
Speaker 5Jim Carrey, jim Carrey.
Speaker 7Oh, that's a mouse.
Speaker 13That amazing and my word will not return void and it will go to that which it was sent.
Speaker 5And it will prosper.
Speaker 13Why is he?
Speaker 3just ripping ass like that, the the nature of god, hallelujah, and what the fuck for eating will also provide and multiply.
Speaker 13Oh, that's the opening of the one. What the hell I got confidence. Four nuts. Four nuts Need a white claw. Need a white claw.
Speaker 3Me and.
Speaker 17Hunter need a white claw.
Speaker 5We already saw this, I just played a video.
Speaker 6You just love fart videos, I just played a video.
Speaker 3You just love fart videos. Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Speaker 8Hallelujah, who already did that and now listen to this.
Speaker 14You go a little further, you get the one God's for you, he's with you. And then the last biggie.
Speaker 13Last biggie God is in you, man. Thanks man. Hallelujah.
Speaker 11Love you long time. Thanks, man.
Speaker 4Thanks man, I love you. I love you long time.
Speaker 13Oh, my God, and remember. Those heavens were shut up, shut up Because the pink. Those heavens were shut up and faith breaking through, breaking through. Hold on.
Speaker 3And she proved God.
Speaker 13God has something better than where you are right now, and there are place in him as a Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Speaker 21And.
Speaker 13God sent that man that day to open up those heavens.
Speaker 3Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Speaker 8Man All right.
Speaker 3Well, here we go.
Speaker 6Good morning Julia. That's my fucking coochie that's hanging out.
Speaker 13She's got a big beaver. Alright, sis, here we go for you, boyfriend. I'm with boyfriend now I'm boyfriend now.
Speaker 5I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now I'm boyfriend now.
Speaker 18I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now.
Speaker 10I'm boyfriend now. I'm boyfriend now.
Speaker 2I'm boyfriend now I'm boyfriend now.
Speaker 5Better acoustics. Way up high.
Speaker 7He really set up a whole mic stand.
Speaker 8His mom told him he was amazing every day of his life.
Speaker 21You're beautiful.
Speaker 3You and I.
Speaker 5He can't read very well, enjoy, enjoy.
Speaker 7You need some Jocko Grains or something, enjoy, oh damn.
Speaker 5Good music choice. Hey, yeah, you're the same guy Damn. He cut a bus in half.
Speaker 7Took down a helicopter. Did he just do a line?
Speaker 13He's coked out man. Is that her this?
Speaker 7is what you do on cocaine.
Speaker 10Just to let you watch, man.
Speaker 5See that shit like that is fucked up. Oh shit.
Speaker 10Is that?
Speaker 5Taylor's boyfriend.
Speaker 11I don't have a boyfriend.
Speaker 7I just feel like he does weird stuff with horses. Who this guy? No, this guy got my boyfriend. Oh, you have a boyfriend? No, oh, what do you mean?
Speaker 3no, why do you?
Speaker 6do this to me every time Pre-bird, pre-bird, oh he's here again.
Speaker 5Let's do it. He's like you didn't like the first video. How about this one? Really, is this Ikea Like? Where is this? That's why you shouldn't have layovers. I've got buckies. Oh Okay, you're a whore. Yep Wild man Shane.
Speaker 11I mean, if a man can dance, man whoo.
Speaker 4He can horizontally Okay here, we go. Why are all these guys?
Speaker 5dancing.
Speaker 13They're trying to woo.
Speaker 3Taylor that's why they're like they're peacocking right now. Peacock, that's the outfit.
Speaker 5I like the guy in the background. I like the guy in the background and it looks like he's wearing a tie-dye old school Laugh-U-Till-You-Fart podcast shirt.
Speaker 3I love how he started.
Speaker 2He says real or not
Speaker 1Get it Cheech.
Speaker 7Is this dude really dancing in front of the store right now?
Speaker 3He does have some moves. Top it. Ooh yeah, I like this guy dancing in front of the store right now he does have some moves. Oh yeah, I like that guy.
Speaker 5I think that guy handed me tacos at Del Taco the other day.
Speaker 13No, he didn't, no, taco Casa.
Speaker 3Taco Casa.
Speaker 23Oh, no, taco Okay, yeah, yeah oh, my god, oh oh, you're making music for a long time I am okay. I love the women I love the women when I feel the music.
Speaker 3It's working on me.
Speaker 4Who'd you laugh? What the fuck Is this spinning John Mayer?
Speaker 5Yeah, juan, juan Mayer, juan Mayer.
Speaker 10Juan Mayer. He's trying to do his thing, I'm just doing my thing. He's like El Pastor.
Speaker 3Juan Mayer, we got Brad.
Speaker 9Start this one over. Brad, I'm at work right now.
Speaker 7Oh man, I am Danny Brad. I feel like that last dude Was being so serious, though hey, good morning everybody and happy Wednesday.
Speaker 9I'm heading into work right now and I'm listening to these beautiful birds chirping. Hey, you know what? I'm gonna have a great day at work today. I'm going to rock these lands here at Walmart and you go have a great day too. Fuck yeah, jesus loves you and I do too. Okay, come on in and get some great customer service. Wow, have a great day, guys. Thanks.
Speaker 3Aw, I think he's so nice have a great day, guys.
Speaker 5I'm just going to say one thing oh, About Brad, not this guy.
Speaker 3About Brad. He's got a fucking job. Bad Brad, what?
Speaker 5What? What Now if your kid has a birthday at Chuck E Cheese? He can't go in there.
Speaker 3No.
Speaker 10He's definitely banned from.
Speaker 7Chuck E Cheese.
Speaker 3I agree, that's enough. Oh, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk.
Speaker 5He, we'll be right back. Still got the Hennessy protected.
Speaker 21Hey, haircut check.
Speaker 3I wasn't expecting that.
Speaker 12Looks pretty good.
Speaker 17Pretty good. That's like something Eric would do.
Speaker 19looks pretty good pretty good, looks pretty good looks pretty good oh man, I hope he fucking gets it shit.
Speaker 5Get it Spidey, come on, spidey. Hey, wait a minute. Hey, ron, what are you doing, ron? I knew you did shit like this, ron, I knew it nobody knows.
Speaker 6There's a multiverse of Spider-Men, so there's a lot of guys.
Speaker 8Get with the times.
Speaker 7Anybody can be Spider-Man.
Speaker 4Fuck it, dude, fuck this.
Speaker 7This is one of my favorite people on the planet. I love this man.
Speaker 20He's definitely building some muscle. I'm scared. Look at it. Look at it, oh shit.
Speaker 3Dude is ripped. He is, I'm scared.
Speaker 20I literally grabbed it and then it. Just worry about the corn nuts over here ripped he is, I can't even hold me up. Yeah, I literally grabbed it and then it. If I could bench press 250, that would be sick.
Speaker 7Just worry about the corn nuts over here. Jesus fucking Christ. Nobody would be stupid enough to fuck with me. That's right. Because, if you can bench- press 250 pounds.
Speaker 20that is sick Me too, Sick, and there's a reason why you, you get jacked up, you get big muscles. It attracts the ladies. Watch out, see what I'm saying. United States of America was founded on the 4th of July. It happened to be the 4th day of this month. Today there's 4 corners of the globe. There's 4 seasons in a year.
Speaker 5I'm tracking. Yeah, think about winter, spring, uh-huh yeah.
Speaker 7That's it. What Think about that man? You need to do a whole comp of just his fucking videos. They're so fucking wild.
Speaker 5There you go, sis TikTok. I know it's a hard pick. It's a good lineup.
Speaker 7But you get a pick of the litter.
Speaker 17He didn't submit.
Speaker 5He's tired of not getting picked.
Speaker 4I think he gets picked every week.
Speaker 5He doesn't think so.
Speaker 4Okay, well, I like the dance moves.
Speaker 5Feels left out.
Speaker 7Of who. There's a lot of dance moves. Yeah, there are a lot.
Speaker 5You got Spider-Man, you got Grand Pappy Carl.
Speaker 4No, not P happy he's going to pull a hammy or something.
Speaker 3He did meet me falling down.
Speaker 7He was fine, he humped it out.
Speaker 4I like the tie-dye pants. There's another dancer.
Speaker 5The cowboy dancer In the airport, in the airport and with the horses. I do like the cowboy Yellowstone. Is that your rip?
Speaker 17Is that?
Speaker 10your rip.
Speaker 17She likes older men. Don't say no to me. You liar.
Speaker 2I don't know. Don't say no to me, you love older men.
Speaker 4Don't say no to me. You will act in gray balls.
Speaker 7Whoa, nobody knew that Didn't necessarily have to be.
Speaker 5Boy, All right Well who's it going to be?
Speaker 11Cowboy.
Speaker 5Cowboy guy.
Speaker 11Cowboy Cowboy, cowboy, cowboy.
Speaker 13What do you think his name is? Troy Cowboy Nelson.
Speaker 5Nelson.
Speaker 11Nelson. I think it's Nelson.
Speaker 5That's a good one, cowboy.
Speaker 8Nelson.
Speaker 5Nelson. I think it's Nelson. That's a good one, cowboy Nelson.
Speaker 7Thank you His name's Cowboy Get me, nelson Mandela.
Speaker 3Get me Nelson Mandela now. Okay, all right.
Speaker 7All right.
Speaker 5All right.
Speaker 7Moving on.
Speaker 5No, that's it, we're done. Oh, that's it, I think we're done.
Speaker 7Doses airwaves yeah, Going quick.
Speaker 17Burning thoughts of wisdom.
Speaker 5Yeah, we have a NASA hat on Winsdom.
Speaker 7Where should we go, mayan? We should be worried about our oceans, dude, not fucking space.
Speaker 18I don't know, it's the moon. Stay away from the spice.
Speaker 5Stay away from the spice Spice.
Speaker 3Spice oh.
Speaker 7There it is, we're going to leave everybody with this.
Speaker 8Never trust a fart.
Speaker 5As a resident of Miami-Dade County it is your right Know the names and licenses of sex offenders in your area.
Speaker 23As a public service we have created this videotape so that you and your friends and family can stay aware, stay safe and maybe even have a little fun. Enjoy. Bye.
Speaker 21The state of Florida has asked us to disclose our sexual crimes to you. We were bad, but now we're good. We're moving into your neighborhood. You know we're trying our best to be functioning members of society. We're not here to start a little trouble.
Speaker 1We're here to live our life through the sex offender shuffle. I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain from touching my neighbor's kids again. What I did was not too kind, but I'm a nice guy. You'll come to find I've got a backyard and a real nice pool. Y'all should come over for a barbecue. We can make some cold.
Speaker 2Hey, you know it's time to get it started. Let me introduce you all to Shane Hargis, okc. Yeah, we gotta rep that. Sit back, I know that you're gonna have a good laugh, bringing you the comedy that you really need. Keep it entertaining, you better believe. So let's get it popping. No more talk. Going to make us laugh until we fart. Shane August, that's who we want. Going to make us laugh until we fart. Shane August, that's who we want. Going to make us laugh until we fart.
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