Laugh Until We Fart
Laugh Until We Fart
The Many Voices Of Banana Boy with Brian Grace
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What do near-death sledding, a banana-obsessed guest, and performing in "A Christmas Carol: The Musical" have in common? They all feature in our latest episode of the Laugh Until You Fart podcast! Taylor Lee, the born-again virgin, and Casey Sue, the former okayest co-host, are back and better than ever. With special guest Brian Grace—our very own Banana Boy—we kick things off with a riotous discussion about juggling busy schedules, tech bloopers, and the simple yet profound importance of bananas. Expect side-splitting laughs as we share a humorous musical performance about having zero "fucks" left to give.
Brian regales us with two of his most thrilling childhood memories: a near-fatal sledding adventure and a playground misadventure that left him with some war scars. These gripping tales will have you on the edge of your seat, wondering how he made it out alive. Meanwhile, Taylor dives into his journey from voiceover training to treading the boards as Bob Cratchit in a Tulsa production of "A Christmas Carol." Tune in to hear our best attempts at British, Russian, and South African accents and some hilarious pet voice impressions that are bound to make you giggle.
As we wrap up, we delve into whimsical discussions about pet personalities, dating mishaps, and even the serious topic of cancel culture. We share insights into our day jobs, including one of us working at a company producing fabric for face masks during COVID-19. With plenty of laughs and candid reflections on life's quirks, this episode is a rollercoaster of humor, creativity, and real-life experiences. Don't miss out—your funny bone will thank you!
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Laugh Until You Fart Podcast Revival
Speaker 1We're ready to go finally.
Speaker 3Get it together. Gonna make us laugh until we fart.
Speaker 4She ain't August. That's who we want. Gonna make us laugh until we fart. She ain't August, that's who we want. Gonna make us laugh until we fart.
Speaker 5We're back again for the third fucking time. Third time, just a little computer restart and I think we're back. We're going to find out. But hi, hi again. You remember us, the Laugh Until you Fart podcast. Yeah, we came to you over a month ago. It's kind of hard planning episodes because some bitch has a full calendar because she's a single mom and has. It's kind of hard planning episodes because some bitch has a full calendar, you know, because she's a single mom and has responsibilities and adult life stuff. Yeah, it's fun.
Speaker 9But we're back.
Speaker 5And happy Labor Day weekend everybody. Yeah.
Speaker 2Yay, labor, I'm on call.
Speaker 5El Krapatan, back behind the mics for you guys With me, your sluttiest born-again virgin, taylor Lee, and riding shotgun the former most okayest co-host ever, casey Sue.
Speaker 9The babe herself, it's me.
Speaker 5And a friend of mine, a fellow actor. He plays a brother of mine on film. It's banana boy, Brian Grace.
Speaker 10The bananas are ripe today.
Speaker 5They do be ripe yeah they do be ripe.
Speaker 6They do be ripe. I do have a bunch of bananas for you.
Speaker 5Welcome In the kitchen, and we hope this take three goes well.
Speaker 10The third time's the charm.
Speaker 2I'm allergic to bananas, so thanks for killing me.
Speaker 5I'm so sorry I love bananas, I know oh we had the bananas.
Speaker 6Where'd they go? They're in the kitchen, yeah, where they belong.
Speaker 5I wanted them right here.
Speaker 6You should have said so. I wanted them right here. I wanted to rub my face in the nanners.
Speaker 2When are we going to know the Banana Boy story?
Speaker 5I need a good production assistant.
Speaker 6Then maybe you should pay one.
Speaker 5Bananas right here.
Speaker 1Hey, we get paid. Hey, when I get paid.
Speaker 5When I get paid, y'all might get paid. So when I get my ten bucks, you'll each get a dollar. I'll take my eight bucks, okay.
Speaker 6That is an unfair split.
Speaker 10You give them a dollar, then you say, oh yeah, we forgot about surcharges, and then we get nothing. Yeah, here's 15 cents.
Speaker 5Okay, I have a show opener. Is it going to work this time.
Speaker 10We're going to see.
Speaker 6Maybe, this is what's killing us, right? I'm going to say no.
Speaker 10I think it's because we have a lack of bananas.
Speaker 3Oh, probably yes.
Speaker 12Fuck, yeah, I've tried, tried, tried and I've tried even more. I've cried, cried, cried and I can't recall what for. I've pressed, I've pushed, I've yelled and then there poked some success, but the inevitable fact is that it never will impress. I've no more fucks to give. My fucks have run a drive. I've tried to go fuck shopping, but there's no fucks left to give. My fucks have run out of drive. I've tried to go fuck shopping, but there's no fucks left to buy. I've no more fucks to give. No more fucks I've tried to get. I'm over my fucks, I think it's a men's warehouse.
Speaker 5They do musical comedy shows at men's warehouse now, or that's a Burlington coat factory. I strive strive, strive.
Speaker 12A burlington coat factory. I play by all the rules, but I very rarely won. I've smiled, I've charmed, I would have laughed the last, to no avail. Oh no, I've run around like a war old swanick with a curly fail. I've no more fucks to give my fuck. Fuse has just blown. Okay, fuck, army.
Speaker 9This is a sinning song. This is a.
Speaker 6Christian. What else? This is a sinning song.
Speaker 9This is a Christian podcast. He's a.
Speaker 6Christian servant.
Speaker 3I am, he said, but I am a fat.
Speaker 1Are you dropping the F-bomb right now? Oh my lord, a set, a set.
Speaker 12Calm down has now begun to go, and I've come to realize that I don't give a fuck at all Same, bro.
Speaker 1I've no more fucks to give. My fucks are blown away.
Near-Death Sledding & Playground Mishap
Speaker 12My fucks are now so fucked up they refuse to fucking stay. I've no more fucks to give. My fucks are now so fucked off. They refuse to fucking stay. I've no more fucks to give. My fucks have gone insane. They've come back round and passed me while they're fucking off again. I've no more fucks to give. My fucks have all dissolved.
Speaker 9I've planned many projects, but my fucks won't be in bulk.
Speaker 12I've no more fucks to give. My fucks have all been spent. They've fucked off from the building and I don't know where they went. I've no more fucks to give. I've no more fucks to give. I've no more fucks to give?
Speaker 1Did they just censor?
Speaker 9I've no more fucks to give.
Speaker 5If shit goes down we're quitting, we're rolling with it.
Speaker 2Thank you very much.
Speaker 10Lovely so is that like the theme song of every single men's warehouse? I guess it is now.
Speaker 1No one wants to get in.
Speaker 5It is now it seems like that's where he's at. I think so.
Speaker 2I liked the mustache.
Speaker 6Or like a DXL or something.
Speaker 10I mean, the whole facial thing was just perfect.
Speaker 5Yeah, Everything.
Speaker 10A dapper dandy wasn't he Dapper dandy and the curly mustache.
Speaker 6Quaffed and ready to go.
Speaker 10It was quite proper.
Speaker 6Quaffed, quaffed.
Speaker 2That sounds like queefed.
Speaker 5Let's find out a little more about Brian.
Speaker 6Yes.
Speaker 5And then we can let everyone know, after we talk for a bit, where Banana Boy comes from oh banana Secret.
Speaker 10If we can talk about it? Can we guess it? Can we talk about it? Well, we're not technically under NDA. There we go. Yes, we can.
Speaker 5Can we guess, brian, where'd you grow up at?
Speaker 10Can we guess, brian, where'd you? Grow up at Tulsa Mainly. I was actually born kind of like in between Tulsa and Broken Arrow. It was before Broken Arrow was so big back in 83,.
Speaker 6but you know the Stone Ages, we're old. Yeah, I feel it.
Speaker 10It's in my neck, the older you get, it kind of travels downward, yeah. But yeah, I was born pretty much in Oklahoma and our family moved because of my dad's job. He used to be a CPA accountant. He just recently retired so he's living my life now yeah. Okay, go dad. But he had us move to Maine and then Michigan, nice, and then we came back here, cool. So we have enough of the cold front, came back to where it's all completely random.
Speaker 6We like unpredictability.
Speaker 5The sybil of weather is in this state for sure.
Speaker 10I've had seven near-death experiences.
Speaker 6In Oklahoma. About all of them, I'm ready.
Speaker 5Well, maybe not all. Let's go with the most exciting one. How about the most recent? The scariest one? Let's do the scariest one and the most recent, as long as they're not both.
Speaker 10Oh Well, the scariest was when I was about eight. We were in Maine and that was actually a pretty big hill that we had next to us. It was very snowy. Definitely up in the northeast you have nothing but snow. I don't know what us, it was very snowy, uh, definitely up in the northeast you have nothing but snow. So I don't know what month it was, I couldn't really tell you.
Speaker 10But, um, um, I was just old enough to have my own private sled and then I had my uh, two brothers and my sister. Uh, sister was only four at the time and I was eight, and so, uh, we had my eldest brother and my sister, and then my younger, older brother had his own blue sled and I had my own red sled. So I was pretty excited because it was my first time I got my own thing. I was like, hey, this is awesome. So, uh, we had this great big incline in our house and, uh, the actual hill came down and then there was the garage right here. So there was like a uh kind of like a drop from the hill to the garage about maybe 12 feet, perhaps maybe 15, and that was the height for the garage and whatnot.
Speaker 10So, as we're climbing up the thing, going up and down, and I'm getting my bearings and getting used to things like, oh, this is pretty cool. So I'm driving, I'm going up the hill for like the fourth or fifth time forget what it was but uh, I happened to uh slip on an ice patch and then I uh a twig, which was just there. So I was like, ok, I'm good, I turn around and I see that there's nothing underneath me. I was like I went a bit too far off to the right. And now here I am, looking at the, the actual like hill down to like the 12 foot drop into an eight year old. That's pretty high. You're hanging on to a tw and to an eight year old, that's pretty high you're hanging onto a twig to a 38
Speaker 6year old.
Speaker 10That's pretty high onto a twig and the very second that I looked to see where I was, the twig snapped and I fell onto my sled and it's like a perfect circle right. So I'm flying down like really fast towards this like ravine. I guess you could say yeah to a kid. It was pretty high. But uh, um, as I'm flying down the hill, my parents could see what was happening. They couldn't get the door open because it was frozen shut. My eldest brother was probably about 25 feet away that way and he couldn't get to me and he was trying to trudge through the snow and it went up to like his knees so he couldn't get very fast for years.
Speaker 10He blamed himself for this, which which is pretty sad. I flew off the thing it must have felt like I was going like 40 or something like that and I fell flat face first onto the pavement. Thankfully I was on the sled still, so I broke my nose and I tried to have my arm come up and I broke my arm.
Speaker 6Oh, my God.
Speaker 10It could have been much worse. If I weren't on the actual sled, I probably would have died.
Speaker 6That is so scary.
Speaker 10So worse if I ever weren't on the actual sled, I probably would have died. That is so scary. So, um, I'm just sitting there, I'm on the floor and I'm just like screaming bloody murder, and that was like the only reason that my parents knew that I was still alive, because I was screaming oh my god they had to take me into a uh the car we drove to the hospital.
Speaker 5That was fun they were already they were already on the call with the funeral home. Oh wait, we hear him screaming.
Speaker 6Never mind, he made it. Wow.
Speaker 10So was that your very last uh, no sledding experience well yes, yeah, I had to think about that because I think, yeah, I'm pretty sure that was my last sledding experience. But uh, other than that, the the most recent one was when I was in grade school and we basically had this swing set that everybody always went on to and they always had this competition to push the person as hard and as fast as they could, so they can just jump off.
Speaker 13Oh yeah.
Discovering Acting Through Voiceover Training
Speaker 10So me being the kind of scared little boy that I was, like I was apprehensive to get on the thing. But they're just like oh it's fine, brian, just go ahead and do it. So they put me on the on the swing, and they're pushing me, everything's OK. And they said, ok, now, when it gets to the actual, the top of the jump, just go ahead and just go and jump off. And I'm holding on to the thing because I'm too scared to jump, so I didn. Scared to jump, so I didn't. So they pushed me and I went you know how that's supposed to go up and everything. I went all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, and then my head came down and smashed right onto the, the great big, thick metal crossbar, crossbar, yeah god busted my head clean open.
Speaker 10I still have a scar back here and that's uh. The hair doesn't grow very well back that area, but it was like it busted wide open. I'm just bleeding everywhere.
Speaker 6I think I was 12, maybe 11 so just a couple years after that, I would have hated to have been a teacher on recess duty right that day so much right, there's probably so much blood yeah, I was really, really lucky that it didn't give me like a concussion or anything even worse.
Speaker 10That's amazing that it didn't. Yeah, wow, I got a really hard head School nurse is like oh, in here again, brian, I see, yeah, she probably was pretty tired of me.
Speaker 6Everybody leave Brian off the playground.
Speaker 10Put him in a bubble.
Speaker 6Yeah, that was quite a few stitches I had to get there for that did you just have stitches, no staples.
Speaker 10I don't think I had staples now, oh my god so what age were you?
Speaker 5that uh acting or something like that became intriguing to you um, I would probably say pretty early on in life.
Speaker 10But, um, you know probably my confidence and probably, like you know, my situation, I didn't really think it was like something that was feasible for me. So, um, I always did like characters. I had my several voices, I did imitations and I created voices for my dogs and for other people and for characters just characters I created out of nowhere, just to, you know, to help with like situations and, uh, even to help my sister learn things. I came up with like this, uh, this, uh, grammar gnome that just helped my sister learn how to do grammar and whatnot. So that was fun, uh, but anyway, there was a lot of different, uh, um, outlets that I had.
Speaker 10I drew. I had uh, many, several different characters. I had a main character and he had like several enemies and whatnot, but there was like all sorts of things I drew, maybe on a comic book, the whole bit. So I had a lot of artistic outlet, but I didn't really have like a thought that I could be an actor until probably several years after college, and it was about 2015 that I got involved with such a voice online and that was a uh, voiceover kind of a school oh that's cool and they're still going actually.
Speaker 10But there was like an eight month um uh schooling that they had like two private coaches that would teach you. One was uh, one was for character work and one was for commercial. So they taught us different, various things and we and we recorded a demo by the end of it. So they helped us to record a demo. And then that was my introduction to you know anything acting yeah my first um, um, actual acting in front of people.
Speaker 10I was, uh, bob cratchit for a christmas carol the musical in tulsa, and that was my first anything in front of people. So I I thought I was going to be terrified, but as soon as I was on stage in front of everyone and I did my first lines, I just felt the most alive I've ever felt in my life. Yeah, and it was the most amazing feeling ever. So I just knew this was what I was put here to do.
Accent Training for Dystopian Audiobook
Speaker 10That's so cool, I'm just sad it took as long as it did because there was different programs in high school I could have taken, but back then you're a kid, you're just like. That's not cool. Being an actor, you must be gay. It's just that stupid stipulation. When you're a kid, You're just like oh, that's not cool at all, You're just being an idiot.
Speaker 1Yeah, you can't be in drama.
Speaker 5I'm actually going to do something with this mic real quick.
Speaker 6Oh God, I'm hearing feedback from it.
Speaker 7Oh, you're scaring me.
Speaker 10He's a kicking back. Oh, that actually sounds better on me. That's nice. It sounds better on my headphones too. All right, we've got to start over. Take four, We'll be back.
Speaker 5We'll be back.
Speaker 9We're done, we quit, we quit.
Speaker 10Yeah, this time it was my bad.
Speaker 6No, my bad, that was his fault.
Speaker 2I want to do voiceover stuff. That'd be fun. Yeah, it's extremely challenging.
Speaker 10Hello, that's a pretty.
Speaker 2British lady.
Speaker 9Maybe a squirrel.
Speaker 5It's better than mine Squirrel Better than mine.
Speaker 6Your British accent. Yeah, I can't Too British. Do it again. Do it Huh. Do a British accent.
Speaker 5Why you want me, See I.
Speaker 2Where you want me gone. I kind of sounded Australian. You did.
Speaker 5I can't, I can't.
Speaker 3He's a koala.
Speaker 1Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio, cheerio.
Speaker 6Right Roy Cheerio, cheerio.
Speaker 12Cheerio.
Speaker 5What's that Cheerio? What's Right? Right, roy Bob's your uncle. That's so bad I can't do them.
Speaker 7I would like to do voiceover.
Speaker 10Have some tea and crumpets.
Speaker 5Tea and crumpets. I can't do it. I had to do this audition. I've talked about it before on the podcast, but I had to do a thick.
Speaker 9Brooklyn accent. Oh, we didn't talk about this, tony.
Speaker 5Yeah, it was something like why does it always got to be a Chinese joint? What's the line?
Speaker 6I remember that one. Why does it got to be a Chinese joint? That's what he sounded like.
Speaker 5I just had to pick one, Like I couldn't do it. What are you doing? I couldn't do it.
Speaker 6How do you do that? How do you teach yourself how to go into certain accents Like how do you?
Speaker 10teach yourself an accent. You just got to look up a whole lot of YouTube videos and just kind of listen to people you know.
Speaker 1Dang Dang, that was good.
Speaker 5No, listen to people. You know dang, dang. That was good. No, the thing is I used to be able to. I used to do all kinds of voices I could do. My favorite one to do was chris farley, when he was uh, matt foley, motivational speaker, and I could do a perfect, perfect Foley. I cannot anymore and I think I just at some point I think I stopped doing that Like any kind of voices or anything like that, and I think it's almost like a skill I lost over time, and now I can't even do Matt Foley, and I know how good I used to be at it.
Speaker 5I won't even try on Mike now because it'll make me mad, but I can't do it.
Speaker 10You can't be afraid of it, you just have to jump into it. Really, what's your favorite accent? I've tried.
Speaker 5I work from home, so I'm by myself at home all the time and I try and it's like so so I do actually have a?
Speaker 10um audiobook that I've a series that I've been working on. Uh, the author's name is autumn burt, and just a shameless plug here, please. She is a fantastic writer. She's done a story called um um, it's called Friends of my Enemy. It's on Amazon, it's on iTunes, audible. That's pretty much it.
Speaker 1Check it out.
Exploring Accents and Character Voices
Speaker 10Yeah, it's called Friends of my Enemy. It's a four book series. I'm still working on the fourth one, but the actual book itself is it's a worldwide book based in Europe, but it has people from all around the world in Europe. So basically it's all scores of different types of accents. I've had to do lots of research as far as how these dialects sound, how to create different characters, and the author is extremely happy about what I've been able to give her. She says it sounds like there's like 25 people right there in the same room. Then I'm just like on the mic just doing these various characters that's so cool and I try to make them disney and do their yeah, I try to make them all authentic.
Speaker 10I try to make them all real and different so that none of them sound exactly the same that's so cool.
Speaker 6What kind of story is it?
Speaker 10it's a audio. It's a. It's a dystopian war drama I'm in yeah, it's all in.
Speaker 10It's based in the year, uh, 2000, uh, 2000, I want to say 2040. It start, yeah, it starts in like 2040. It goes up to about 2055, 2060 or something like that. But the actual book is about um, the. You know, the entire world is like under turmoil right now. There's a uh, there's a global front called the freedom liberation front, and they're kind of like a great big organization of um, uh superpowers that have obliterated the us. The us is gone and it's just like a giant parking lot right now. Cool, but um, europe is the last bastion of freedom and this um freedom liberation front is basically on all corners trying to take out this last resistance, and europe is the only one giving him a whole lot of problems. And you find out later on the main character, her name is arena and she starts off as kind of like a squirrely girl, but she becomes a super badass, becomes like the, the leader of the uh, of the armed forces for europe, and she basically leads um, uh, she leads the attack against the flf and uh, she learns how to you know, obviously overcome her own problems. There's a whole lot of drama in that. She's got like uh, um, one husband in the first one.
Speaker 10I don't know if I should give too much away, but you know, it's. It's actually a really interesting series and I really love to be able to be all these different characters. As you, uh, grow up with these people, you start having these different factions of yourself that you can bring out, sure, and each one of them is unique. So it's, it's fun to have that different brand. Um, I think my favorite character his name is Byron. He's a um, uh, what is it? Yeah, what is it he is is not not Latino, but um, from south, um, south america. Um, I want to say probably, I'll, probably, if, if, uh, if the author hears this, she'll probably like gut me if I say that, but uh, she's like, no, he's not from there, but uh he's probably lebanon.
Speaker 10No, I think what I want to say, like south america yeah, south america I want to say something like um, get a map, yeah, chile, but I I used a. Uh. I used basically uh, um, um, no, what's his name? Uh, the mask of zoro, what's his name? Oh, antonio band, yes, yes I used antonio banderas as the inspiration for his he's like it's his character.
Speaker 1You're like hello. Is that what?
Speaker 5you know Antonio Banderas from.
Speaker 6Yeah, puss in Boots, I am Puss in Boots. So he sounds like this. I like that he's Byron.
Speaker 7Vasquez, I like that.
Speaker 5I don't really appreciate you showing off right now.
Speaker 2I know how do you do that.
Speaker 6What's your favorite accent Like? Do you ever just slip into an accent for funsies Like Taylor Lee will just out of nowhere do that. Do you have one? That's it. It's just a really aggressive hello Hello.
Speaker 10I wouldn't say that there's an absolutely type of accent that I'd like to switch to, but this is probably one of my more favorites.
Speaker 6Is that British Indian.
Speaker 10I can do British pretty well.
Speaker 6That's like upper British You're poor British.
Speaker 2I'm in the garbage, can.
Speaker 1Want some beans and toast? Yeah, we can definitely do Cockney as well. Oh, Cockney.
Speaker 9That's actually not bad.
Speaker 2That was good.
Speaker 9I'm always in the tavern, the pub, the pub. Oh, where's the?
Speaker 2tavern.
Speaker 10Who calls it the tavern, always out to get himself a pint.
Speaker 2Yes, I have to like get into it, though You're basically in the mood.
Speaker 6See, and that one just makes me think of what's his name from Mary Poppins.
Speaker 10Then you have the Russian man man, the comrade.
Speaker 5Oh, I can't do it.
Speaker 10See, I think if I could pull off a like a eastern european with my look, I think it would be fantastic you can't but I can't you can't do it either I've been able to do all sorts of different types of accents from all over the world. There's another man. He's from South Africa. He's a white man, but he's pretty much African in descent, so he sounds like this. His name is Jedid.
Speaker 1That's awesome.
Speaker 6What's the most difficult accent.
Speaker 1Like which one took you the longest to figure it out.
Speaker 6Mosebeku Boulay, the Couché avec.
Speaker 9Oui.
Speaker 2Et toi, et toi, et toi.
Speaker 10And we have like the H's are silent. So it'd be like Jane Alges, Jane.
Speaker 1Alges.
Speaker 10Jane Alges. Jane Alges and the R is like a, so you're like choking on the back of your tongue.
Speaker 6You got a loogie cut right there. It can be very, and the r is like a, so you're like choking on the back of your tongue.
Speaker 10It just, it, just. It can be very difficult to do a french accent, that's so impressive.
Speaker 6German yeah, I'm just gonna start naming countries that I know and see if you can do it yeah, there are.
Speaker 10There are german characters um that one I have to kind of tap into that's all I got What'd you just say you
Speaker 5heard it Hold on, you're back. I gotta have that button ready.
Speaker 2I was drinking tequila.
Speaker 10We haven't even gotten into the bananas yet, I know right.
Speaker 5Jesus Already starting in, because it took three takes.
Speaker 2You could work at disney or pixar you could.
Speaker 10That'd be so fun yeah, I really do like the different accents and to be able to jump into different characters and to have every one of them be very different uh, so off air.
Speaker 6Well, between when we were and we're not on air, uh, you were showing me a video that you did.
Speaker 10Yeah, a song for your dog, for your doberman yeah, I've done a lot, is that?
Speaker 6is that brucey's voice?
Speaker 11yeah, that's okay here's a doberman who sounds like this yeah, you know he's a great big goofy guy we goofy guy we do that
Speaker 6oh, absolutely, we definitely have dog voices yeah, looking like a cutie, okay so you have.
Speaker 5Do your pets hate you.
Speaker 6So you have Brucie the Doberman, yeah, and then who else do you have in their voice place?
Speaker 11Oh yeah, they're like, he sounds like this, he's a border collie, he's really, he's really kind of self apprehensive.
Speaker 1He's got a lot of anxiety, he's got a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 6He's like mommy who's that?
Speaker 10his name is Hiei. He's actually named after. Hiei yeah, he's actually named after a, an anime character from Yu Yu Hakusho. Yeah, hiei is he's my favorite an anime character from Yu Yu Hakusho. He is my favorite character in that show. He's awesome.
Speaker 9That's awesome.
Speaker 10He's like a half demon.
Speaker 5Perfect Jordan and Hunter probably will know.
Speaker 6They know who that is.
Speaker 8Yes, Our last one is Ratchet.
Speaker 10She is a Belgian Malinois. It was actually my wife's idea to name name her after my youtube character, who actually is a parody of one of my former co-workers oh, that's hilarious. Also name is ratchet. Yeah, like nurse ratchet no, no, no that's. That's ratchet with a d oh okay, like you're being ratchet uh-huh yeah, oh my god, you are like so ratchet right now dirty bitch, dirty bitch so so this character is on youtube and oh my god, she has like a big person.
Speaker 1That's exactly right. Don't you cuss me out listen, listen, that's ratchet.
Speaker 10That's excellent, yeah but she has a uh, an ask ratchet, which is a, basically a collection of questions that I got from my former co-workers who I basically had her answer these questions, and there's another one called uh, movie reenactments, where she it's called like ratchet reenacts and I took, like many famous movies and I just put that character in. You know, I've got this blonde wig and it's, it's all over youtube.
Speaker 6I can't wait. Oh, I need to see that we're watching youtube uh, what are your dog's voices? What's doc's voice? Hello mommy.
Speaker 2All he wants is his mommy. What about?
Speaker 5the guinea pigs. They're deaf, they don't know, they just make noise, they're constantly.
Speaker 6ah, what is going on in here?
Speaker 2What about Willa Bell? Well, it's Peppa, so I feel like she probably sounds like Peppa Peg.
Speaker 1I know I always go hey, peppa.
Speaker 6Oh, she's like fuck You're my fucking hay.
Speaker 5Will you just feed me? Fill the water up and walk the fuck out. That's what I do. Don't you ever work, lady, Don't you pig.
Speaker 1Get out.
Speaker 6What about Willow? Willow's?
Speaker 9probably like hey guys, you Willow's probably like hey guys, do you guys need snacks, snacks, I like snacks a lot.
Speaker 5But she's probably pretty dumb too. She's not smart. I'm not very smart. I'm not very smart.
Speaker 6Shane, what are your voices for the girls? Because I don't know that we have the same Voices for them. I don't know that we have the same voices for them.
Speaker 5I don't know. I really only used to do Odin and really Jorda. Yeah, go ahead. Like you know, odin was like hey guys, what's going on over here? You trying to start a fire here? I know how to do it. No, you don't Get away no no, I really do Trust me, I can help. And then Jorda's just like.
Speaker 9Huh, why, why?
Speaker 5What? You want me to jump up on the bed. What's jump? I don't know what this word is. What are you talking about?
Speaker 10now speaking on like she's dumb speaking on like dogs and my previous dogs, I mean my two favorite ones, were uh, reaper and rambo. Excellent, reaper was like uh, probably my favorite one to voice because he had uh, such a personality he was. He seemed like the most like aloof, clueless and brainless dog in the world, but behind those like empty eyes was like a very intelligent dog. Oh no, but he was like uh, he was so funny because, like like so much expression on his face like hey, what's going on?
Speaker 1So that's what he shouted like Like hey, what's going on? It's Pinky. So I was like, oh man, I am so retarded right now that door was shut, my head hurt. I forgot what.
Speaker 10I was doing. There was a situation. It was so funny, like as he started off he was like a young puppy and we had, uh, uh, hitman, which was our previous like, uh, he was like a border collie slash, um, like a labrador mix, and uh, he was a very intelligent like a, like a regal kind of dog. And uh, then, here here comes reaper, like this brainless thing. So as, as soon as, like, hitman would look at him and he'd look at us, he's like are you guys sure this is what you want?
Speaker 6You brought this one yeah.
Speaker 1And as he was really small, he sounded like this. You know he's more of a kid. He's like hey old man, how's it going?
Speaker 8And then as he got older.
Speaker 5He's just like oh, I don't know what the hell's going on anymore. I think Jorda's brain resets every night like hard reset. So every day is a new day. She doesn't like.
Speaker 6She's like 51st States.
Speaker 5We have a pretty normal schedule and, like our other two little, we have a pretty normal schedule and, like our other two little dogs know exactly what that schedule is. Jorda's fucking clueless. She has a certain spot because our dogs sleep in our bed.
Speaker 2Oh my.
Speaker 5God, I know Of course they do.
Speaker 10Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.
Speaker 2There's hair everywhere.
Speaker 5Jorda has a spot. We put her in every night. We have to put her in every night. The other two. They know where they go. She never remembers.
Speaker 8On your bed.
Speaker 11It's reset.
Speaker 6Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5Yeah, she's at the foot of the bed.
Speaker 9No, we have to push and shove her, she's so sweet.
Speaker 3She's so sweet she's, so she's the best little retard.
Speaker 5Did you say re-re?
Speaker 6I said retarded oh my god Retarded.
Speaker 2I have dogs in my bed.
Speaker 6That's because you have friends that are boys in your bed.
Speaker 10Different dogs you mean your friend boys, your friend boy, friend boy.
Speaker 7Hey friend boy, hey friend boy.
Speaker 10Listen, we're not going to call my boyfriend bitch, he is my friend boy.
Speaker 5He is my friend boy, friend boy.
Speaker 10Right Friend boy, I am so over it.
Speaker 5Yeah, the dating game. Oh, friend boy, the dating game, friendly the dating life.
Speaker 6So when you're not acting, what are you doing? What's your day job?
Speaker 10Well, I work over at a place called NXT. It's in Claremore and they do a lot of spinning for fabrics, for filters, for trucks, for houses, for all different types of businesses that require air filters and filtration in general like hepa, I think. So that's cool. I mean, back in the height of covid it was actually a pretty big thing for the face masks and whatnot so oh, right, right okay so those little, you know, throwaway face masks and whatnot the inner layer of it was our material.
Speaker 10That's cool. So, um, so you saved the world. That's what I'm hearing. Well, they had a lot to do. They had a lot to do with that. I mean, when I first started the company, it was very busy because, you know, it was the height of covid and everyone wanted those masks, so we were able to send out quite a few of them.
Giggles and Hollywood Stories
Speaker 10But, um, as covid died down, they kind of went back to their original plan, which was like their industrial style um fabrics. But uh, the cool thing is it's all done by an? Um electro apparatus. So it's like a? Um electrostatic uh pump is esp. So electrostatic pump is what happens with the this type of thing. So nano fibers get spun by high electricity and the thing spins in a cone and it shoots out uh from these um um oscillating uh bars and they have like about 256 bars in every one of these uh 256 nozzles and every one of these bars and it uh, it goes back and forth as the, as the material goes through the machine and the electricity excites the nanofibers to go from liquid to a fiber and it gets attached to the paper. And that's how the that's space shit.
Speaker 10Yeah, that's.
Speaker 1That's some space shit.
Speaker 2Oh, my God.
Speaker 1That's not real, oh my.
Speaker 2God Is that like space sex. Is that your musk, that's space shit.
Speaker 1Is that your musk? Is that your musk? See what happened was Jason Voorhees goes into space.
Speaker 3What.
Speaker 1Jason X, yes, and his day job was to spin apparatuses.
Speaker 7No way.
Speaker 1And to make fabrics. Are you serious? And nobody bought his shit. That's bullshit. So he got pissed off.
Speaker 7And killed everybody. I'd be pissed off too.
Speaker 1I'd be stabbing everybody With space knives. That's right. He was like Son of a bitch.
Speaker 2You're not gonna buy my fabric. You're not gonna buy. I didn't know. That was how fabric was made.
Speaker 1Well, it is now by.
Speaker 7Jason Voorhees Jason.
Speaker 2Versus Freddy.
Speaker 1The new by Jason Voorhees Jason versus Freddy.
Speaker 5The new line there's no line for Freddy in this bitch.
Speaker 1Oh my god, what are you?
Speaker 5wearing it's Jason Voorhees.
Speaker 7Oh, what about Michael Myers?
Speaker 2He's my favorite.
Speaker 6That's her, but you can't even see his face, though. That's the point you buy his.
Speaker 3You buy his shit at Old Navy. Oh, that's right, see what it was was that's actually like.
Speaker 10what is it? Captain Kirk's face backwards is what that whole thing is.
Speaker 6So yeah, I feel like Jason Voorhees is the, not Jason. Michael Myers is the male version of a butter face Right. Butt his face, butt his face. But that doesn't sound as funny Everything.
Speaker 2Right but his face, but his face but that doesn't sound as funny, but his face, yeah, like the coveralls yeah.
Speaker 6The soft form thing, the shashashy.
Speaker 1Shashashy, look at his bald.
Speaker 5What are you hiding in there, Michael?
Speaker 1Oh, my God.
Speaker 6Is that a machete in your pocket or are you just happy to?
Speaker 10see me why.
Speaker 5God, is that a machete in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Why can't it be both? Who are you going?
Speaker 1to impale with that thing, oh shit.
Speaker 5Split me right open.
Speaker 6Whoa Getting them, guts.
Speaker 1I think I'm getting the vapors.
Speaker 8Oh God, oh my goodness I know, sorry, I got excited.
Speaker 1Laughing till you fart batch.
Speaker 6I didn't know that was how that was me. I think that needs to be a sound on the board. Laughing till you, fart batch.
Speaker 10Listen here batch, Batch.
Speaker 2Listen here batch, bitch off.
Speaker 10I'm going to make you laugh and you're going to like it.
Speaker 5I'm gonna make you laugh and you're gonna like it so what was your first big production in Oklahoma that you got to work on? Define Production where there's like cameras and stuff no, no, no, where it's like. You know, they got all the trailers, you know it's like okay, okay, like a legit production trailers. Super big ass crafty area somewhere um, um, let me see.
Speaker 10See. I mean, if you're talking about like a massive like, are you talking about like a sag after production?
Speaker 5sure, sure, sure it could be um.
Speaker 10My first like sag production was probably reagan and um oh, is that how that's out?
Speaker 6right, it just finally released. Yeah, cool, cool on friday.
Speaker 10Yeah, um, I was in about seven scenes in that. I'm excited to see myself, are you?
Speaker 2reagan are you ronald reagan?
Speaker 10no, I'm not ronald reagan, that'd be dennis quaid.
Speaker 5Yeah, he's, he's he's ronald reagan in the reagan film, but he only has seven scenes yes, yes, I don't know maybe you know, whenever he's like he's his, uh, his very boyish face version.
Speaker 1Yes, yeah hi, hi, I'm ronald re you want to go sledding?
Speaker 6that is too soon he was like eight. He is a young man, yeah that's like 30 years ago 38 I'm 40 oh, we can't do math, I'm 40 I'm a man I'm a man, taylor. Taylor said that if mike gundy let his hair go salt and pepper, she'd fuck him why tell my secret?
Speaker 5because it's funny now you can't tell her anything I know why the color in his hair it's funny because, if I didn't have my beard, I'd definitely look a lot younger.
Speaker 10I think I still look younger anyway, but uh, everyone's just like no, you're not 40, there's no way. I was like. Well, sadly, I am my knees say otherwise right, yeah, but I know that, um, as soon as I do become, as soon as I do become a big name, that it's gonna be really beneficial for me. So I'm not 50 you are.
Speaker 6You're pretty close. Fuck it. My friend boy is 52, jesus listen, friend boy. You're not in this conversation get out of here friend boy what was your first on screen?
Speaker 10kiss production, oh yes that was, like you know, wide, widely known or like a tall, a small little, like a um student film kind of thing I don't know um we don't know film yeah, well, according to IMDB, I can pull that up.
Speaker 6Yeah.
Speaker 10My imbeded, imdeebs, imbedebs.
Speaker 1Oh my lord.
Speaker 2Oh, oh.
Speaker 5Real quick. While Brian's looking that up, we have a cool new situation out on the deck of Studio Toot Scoot yes, got some brand new furniture. We do have new furniture and we kindly gave Taylor Lee our patio furniture and we actually have footage. She didn't know I put a camera up at her house.
Speaker 8Oh God.
Speaker 7Outside.
Speaker 5And then this is her on her new furniture.
Speaker 8Oh boy.
Speaker 9Yeah, that is me.
Speaker 2Get her kitty, oh no.
Speaker 10Epic fail.
Speaker 9The dog's like Mom. What are you doing down there? What are you doing, bro? What you doing bro?
Speaker 6I would definitely do that. Okay, what does imdb say? So?
Speaker 10uh, according to imdb, the the earliest one is in 2020. That was uh spoken gospel I was in several episodes of that cool, but uh, I did a lot more before then. I think the earliest one that I know of was called oh man. It was in my head and then it's gone. It was a short film. I played a detective and it was Sounds like a porn. Yes, murder she was. Yes, yes, of course it was.
Speaker 5All my porns are short films.
Speaker 10Sounds like a porn yes, murder she was.
Speaker 9Yes, yes, of course it was All my porns are short films.
Speaker 5All my porns are short films.
Speaker 10Stupid, so stupid. Of course, all porns involve detectives, that's right?
Speaker 6Well, he is a dick.
Speaker 5Hey, I heard there was a disturbance here somebody call for a dick private private dick at your service but uh
Speaker 10gosh I can't remember the name of the movie, but I was. I was a detective and I did a couple scenes for this guy who was the, the main, the main character and it was. It was a fun little, oh so gay porn.
Speaker 5No judgment, get it.
Cautions About Cancel Culture
Speaker 10Yes, yeah, whatever breaks you in bud yeah deliverance no, yeah, you know, oh, was it um I had, I had a fun voice no, no, it's nothing that you know of. I had a fun little like uh, it was a short, kind of like a horror, like a horror short, and uh, this was pretty fun. I was, I was the main character for this, but uh, uh, it was about this guy who, who, um, has like this, this vision. I'm not sure if anybody's had this like uh, an experience where you see something out of the corner of your eye and oh yeah yeah, and then it's just like you you look and it's not there.
Speaker 10And then, like, there's like this weird feeling that you get, like the tingling in the back of your neck like there might be something there. So the, the writer and the director, she, she made this little short story about those situations that people have as soon as you go inside of a room. There is a creature that uh feeds off of your memories, right, so as it, uh, as it like bites you, it um, absorbs anything that you just had, that five past five minutes, so you can't remember why you entered the room. Like, uh, there's always this weird, there's this weird situation where, as soon as you enter a room, you like have this, your brain goes numb for a second because you're just like why did I enter here?
Speaker 10yeah, all the time yeah, so that we have an infestation so that's, that's the feeling like, that's the feeling that they were going off of for this, for this film.
Speaker 5What a neat, yeah, what a neat concept you got a monster that bites you and infects you with alzheimer's.
Speaker 10So the actual, the storyary, the story of this particular filming, the girl who was playing the monster. She kind of decked herself out in all this black makeup. She looked really freaky. But she actually bit me, though, because she didn't really know how to act, bite and she was telling me that you do it for real. She really bit into my neck and she was telling me that you do it for real. Yeah, so she did. Yeah, she like she really bent my neck and she was like, as soon as it was done, it was like a big old mark. She was like oh, my god, I'm so sorry, I can't believe I bit you that hard and now you're married what a love
Speaker 5story. I know, but you also sucked on my neck.
Speaker 8There's a cookie there oh god, on my neck.
Speaker 9There's a cookie there, Shane why'd you take it there?
Speaker 10That's how Brian and Shane met.
Speaker 2You turned into a porn.
Speaker 9Exactly.
Speaker 6And then the music starts.
Speaker 9And then Ron Jeremy shows up.
Speaker 2We have a bunny we got at work and everyone calls him Ron Jeremy because he's a retired breeder.
Speaker 6Oh, I thought you were going to say because he has a big old bunny weiner work and everyone calls him Ron Jeremy because he's a retired breeder. Oh, I thought you were going to say because he has a big old bunny weiner.
Speaker 5He's a retarded breeder Retired. That totally changes what I thought happened. I don't breed them retard.
Speaker 2But we call him Dirty Grandpa too. Dirty Grandpa, can you help me?
Speaker 9Yes, we've got to be careful about saying the R word because we might get canceled. Yes, take it away. That's what rabbits do.
Speaker 10We've got to be careful about saying the R word, because we might get canceled.
Speaker 6I don't care who listens. Canceled.
Speaker 5I think that is evidence that Brian has not heard any other episodes of this podcast.
Speaker 10I have not actually.
Speaker 2That's fair, that's a good choice Because we say bad words a lot. Yep, I have not actually. That's fair, that's a good choice. We say bad words a lot. Yep.
Speaker 5And I am never with that button at all. He also doesn't use it at any right time I don't use it at the right time Cut.
Speaker 10It's like those unnecessary censorship videos on YouTube.
Speaker 1Yeah, exactly I have to go pee sorry.
Speaker 5oh, good luck oh my god, every time she pees she poops. That's weird. Usually if you poop then you pee, but you pee and you poop. Hey, when you come back, you have to take your shot yeah we are recording and she has to go tinkle, just a pee, pee, what pee. What the hell? Yeah, yeah, my first kind of legit production. No Excuse me. Wow, thank you, not kind of, it was was when you played the supermarket manager.
Speaker 1Oh, that was your first, that was my first, holy shit. Well, yeah, that was his first.
Speaker 5That was my first like Legit. That was my first like where there's trailers and nice crafty and you know the crew's fairly big.
Speaker 7You know what I mean.
Speaker 5Not that it's not SAG or anything, but it was just a legit big production, not one man with a camera.
Speaker 10Okay, okay, yeah, in that case mine would be Centuries Collide with um. You know, centuries collide yeah yeah, yeah, it was like the first season that we did. It still hasn't aired yet, sadly, but uh, I'm glad that the uh, the american, the american history one, is actually still showing right now which is pretty cool I got to see myself several times I'm like hey, I know, know that guy.
Speaker 5Yeah that was my first one where, because I did brinley right before that and, uh, that was jeremy scott um, one man, one camera, but he did a fantastic job. Um, brinley turned out amazing, um, but then I went right from brinley to on set with impact productions for like the next story behind the story yeah, yeah and jonathan cosins is awesome it was like oh okay, here we go.
Speaker 6He sent me pictures just of the craft area and he was like I think this is what it's supposed to be like, and not us sleeping on the floor at the director's house. You slept on the floor.
Speaker 5We did Blow-up mattress.
Speaker 6One night.
Speaker 10With a blow-up doll. Oh Well, I mean a blow up doll.
Speaker 6Oh Well, I mean, I was there.
Speaker 5He was like and she's my doll.
Speaker 1Oh, but not a blowy, not a blow doll, she blows.
Speaker 6Ew.
Speaker 5See what I did there.
Speaker 6What? Why do you think he married me?
Speaker 5See what I did there Blow doll.
Speaker 2Yeah, we get it. Oh, Move on.
Speaker 9Moving on, taylor Gross, you're no fun.
Speaker 10I was wondering where that was going.
Speaker 6I was wondering. We do too Every time Try it out, try it out man.
Speaker 2Try it out, hey. When do you? When is it okay to fart in a relationship?
Speaker 5Oh, is it okay to fart in a relationship. Oh man, I mean fairly soon, immediately. Fairly soon.
Speaker 7You know if you can deal with it or not.
Speaker 2Maybe not the first date, but after the first date it is free. After the first or second date, you just let it rip.
Speaker 5I don't think. It's like I'm gonna rip a nice loud, juicy one. But you make it kind of cute where you're getting up off the couch. You know and you're like oh, you need more wine here. Let me get up and go get it oh my gosh, oh my god. I'm so sorry. Did you hear that? I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1Did you hear those barking spiders?
Speaker 5Oh my god.
Speaker 7Oopsie, I always hate that part of a new relationship because you're like have you farted in front of friend boy yet?
Speaker 6No, has he farted in front of you?
Speaker 10No, you guys are gay, so when did you go from friend boy to boyfriend?
Speaker 6Oh, never, oh never, he'll never be boyfriend because, she refuses to say it.
Speaker 8So friend boy is as close as we get.
Speaker 9Is it boy toy but?
Speaker 6I'm scared to I'm probably a fart in my sleep?
Speaker 2I'm sure yeah, and he's heard it Probably.
Speaker 10Y'all sleep together. You can't exactly control yourself when you're sleeping, sinners. You're sinners. You're a sleep farter.
Speaker 9I'm not going to be a slart. You're a slarter, I don't know. Or maybe she's a sleuter.
Speaker 6Maybe she's a sleep tooter instead of farter.
Speaker 2Yeah, I just think she's cute.
Speaker 5Oh my god, I think she has sleep apnea. She just stopped breathing.
Speaker 6Oh nope, she's okay, I probably do though, when's the first time we yeah, when's the first time we farted?
Speaker 8I mean, we've been together a long time, we've farted in front of each other.
Speaker 6But I can't remember us not farting in front of each other at this point.
Speaker 5Yeah, I just feel like it's always been a thing. No, no, we got so romantic in our relationship that now we shit with the door open.
Speaker 2I relationship that now we shit with the door open, like I mean, daniel and I used to do that too, you know, yeah, that's where we're at, that's couples goals.
Speaker 11Right, I just hold it in until it leaves and then I'm like yeah, okay, all right.
Speaker 10She comes in whenever I'm doing it. I go in whenever she's doing it, that's when you have the best conversations now it really is, but when do you get to that point?
Speaker 5now, sometimes I do this, I go, I'm gonna do a favor for you and I'm going to go in the other bathroom because I think this one's going to be juicy and loud Ew God. So I do that he does have courtesy sometimes. Yeah, she does.
Speaker 6Because I haven't. My poops are cute. I have cute poops, poop in front of him, you do not have cute poops?
Speaker 5You pooped in front of him, because no one does. You pooped his pants in front of him. That's what it gets.
Speaker 1He was looking in the mirror and I ran up, pulled his britches out from the back.
Speaker 6I'm gonna shit in your pants, bitch, stupid bet that's what it gets for taking the last diet coke out of the front.
Speaker 1that's's right, that was my Diet Coke. Hey, who just shit my pants? Who just shit my pants? Guilty as charged.
Speaker 6Like, have you pooped?
Speaker 2while he's over, or like when he goes to Brahms.
Speaker 6She goes to Brahms a lot, so he thinks that you don't poop, no, he thinks she's addicted to fucking Brahms, but what?
Speaker 5he doesn't know, is she?
Speaker 2shits a lot. Hey, you go to Brahms. He's like sure, I'm like okay, I go shit.
Speaker 5I just went four hours ago.
Speaker 6I'm going back to Brahms and he hasn't pooped over like when you've been over, or vice versa. I don't go there very often, but no. But like when he comes over to your house Not that I know of, but I go to sleep early. Oh, so he's a late night pooper.
Speaker 5He wakes. I hope he's not a shooter. He slides out of bed out from under her you know real quiet and goes to the other bathroom. He's like finally I got shit.
Speaker 10You know, I think I've heard of couples that have been together for several years and they still haven't farted in front of each other.
Speaker 6No, I don't believe that at all. That's like Courtney, that's just boring Well just, courtney, just doesn't fart. No, that's not true?
Speaker 5Yeah, they slip out of her mouth.
Speaker 10They actually have to get up and go to another room.
Speaker 5Scientifically it's not true.
Speaker 6Yeah they come out of her mouth.
Speaker 5There is gas that escapes the butthole, whether it's audible or not, who knows, but people do fart.
Speaker 10I have known this.
Speaker 6Scientifically it is called an sbd yes, yeah, I have known this woman for my whole life. I have heard her audibly fart two whole times, and she was so proud of herself.
Speaker 5Well, there you go. It was very impressive. She has a loose butthole, then I don't know what to say about that.
Speaker 10Oh, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 8If they never Goodness gracious.
Speaker 5If your farts never make a sound yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, or all day.
Speaker 6They just, they just seep out, out, and she doesn't know you know when you're a kid writing on a frosted window.
Speaker 8You know you're like that's what it's like I wrote my initials yeah.
Speaker 6I want everyone to try something. Yeah, I want you to blow all of your air out and then scream we tried this last time. Yeah, but I want to hear it again. I want to hear Brian do it, blow it all out, blow it all out. I don't like that either. He makes that noise other times too. I don't know what my scream would be like full air with too.
Speaker 5I don't know what my scream would be like. Full air with that.
Speaker 10I don't know, probably too loud for the microphones. I think I'd blow an O-ring. Is that what you're calling it these days? I guess so.
Speaker 6So how long have you and the missus been together?
Speaker 10We have been married since 2013. So it's been 11 years married and about 13 years together Awesome.
Speaker 5Nice.
Speaker 1Awesome. Is it true love? Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 6I think so. It's been long enough. I don't know, I don't think that existed.
Speaker 10It's one of those things that kind of clicked as soon as we met.
Speaker 6That's so sweet. Where'd you meet?
Speaker 10Online. Us two too plenty of fish you ever heard of okay cupid that's where we met holy shit that's wild okay, so, so, she found me. So, uh-huh, he found me.
Speaker 6Okay, okay, so, and he was the he was the first and only to not open with a dick pic hey, here's my nickel, yeah classy.
Speaker 1He was a classy man, he's like I did the opposite it was like no.
Speaker 6She messaged me and I sent a dick.
Speaker 1I said I was probably like I was like a little much y'all gotta say that, remember do you want touch this duck?
Speaker 10I've never even heard of that shit dick pics.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean, that's so stupid. How, in what fucking mind?
Speaker 10any woman would see like oh you know what?
Speaker 8that's my first impression of this guy, and Jesus Christ, I want that so bad maybe there are some apparently well
Speaker 10not on not on some, like you know, viable fucking site that actually is matchcom yeah well, yeah hopefully not. You're actually paying for that shit right like how would you imagine? Like you know you're, you're paying a monthly subscription. All you're getting is dick pics oh yeah, you're like there's premium.
Speaker 6I mean terrible, oh my god wait wait, I'm paying for dick.
Speaker 1That's not how this works I'm a job through them hell yeah, I get enough sausage out. That's a grocery store I love.
Speaker 5I just it, it was.
Speaker 2It's just awkward like the angle do you put the remote next to it?
Speaker 5Like do you put a?
Speaker 6cocaine next to it.
Speaker 2Do you hold it? Is it like just laying there hey?
Speaker 5check it out Double A battery.
Speaker 6It's better than triple A.
Speaker 10Better than my last guy.
Speaker 6Look at the girth, the girth yeah one of those little watch batteries. The girth, the girth.
Speaker 10So she found you, she sent you the first message yeah, I was the first person to pop up onto her onto her screen as soon as she signed up, which is pretty wild, look at that and it kind of like popped up and, like you know, have the yellow highlight of the banner for the people and whatnot. I was the first recommendation for her.
Speaker 6She said that's my husband Were you like this. Yeah, were you the cutest, of course.
Speaker 10Back then I didn't have a beard, I looked rather boyish, I had glasses.
Speaker 2Oh, look at that little French boy.
Speaker 10Omelette de flammeaux. Look at that little French boy.
Speaker 9Omelette de flammeaux.
Speaker 10But yeah, so it was after a period of dating a bunch of random weird girls. It was like a string of weird ones.
Speaker 2Why did you collect weird ones?
Speaker 10I didn't collect them, they're just like stuffed in my cellar. You know I have their lips in my cellar. Yeah, okay, this one's especially weird. I'm putting her in the trunk.
Speaker 6Carry her around. Did you say it's just her lips? Her lips, it's because of her lips. Which lips, all the lips, both pairs of lips.
Speaker 5I kept all of their fingernails.
Speaker 9Ew.
Speaker 3Stop it.
Speaker 5That's a good scary movie. I scratch with them.
Speaker 10Yes, get rid of that old skin.
Speaker 2You put them on like fake nails, like the little kid when Molly walks around with them and she can't touch anything because they pop off immediately.
Speaker 5I call them, my humanly press-on nails. That's what I did there.
Speaker 10You know, when I have trouble, when I have trouble picking up coins, I just use their fingernails. Well, yeah, she. She had an interesting story because she, pretty much like, had to be forced to look for somebody because her best friend's husband was hitting on her.
Speaker 9Ew.
Speaker 10Yeah, and right in front of her too. Ew, and yeah, he was a slime bag.
Speaker 5He was like look at this double-edged battery next to it. You like that? I like that.
Speaker 10Actually it's a piece of spaghetti.
Speaker 2You want my noodle. It's al dente.
Speaker 5It's a piece of spaghetti. You want my noodle? It's al dente. It's a little wet, it's a French noodle, but if you throw it against the wall it'll stink.
Speaker 2Then you can have my meatball.
Speaker 6Just one. There was an accident.
Speaker 10One of my meatballs was amputated.
Speaker 6I've never been with anybody with one ball a uniballer, the uniballer oh my lord, I was with one micropene, though what about three testicles? No, never had bonus testicles. Have you had bonus testicles?
Speaker 5no, I would fucking hate that three balls extra testicles.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 5Two's enough.
Speaker 10It's all tangled up. I don't need a third in that disaster
Speaker 7area no one does.
Speaker 5Like I need an even more wrinkly nut sack.
Speaker 6I'm getting Botox in it.
Speaker 10So what was her first message to you? So she read my profile and my profile was filled with goofy jokes and just off-the-wall humor. That's just who I am. And she sent me a message saying, like, reading your profile, you'd fit in with my family, just fine.
Speaker 6Oh, look at that, go right for it. Excellent, hey girl. Hey, I had him tricked. The first message he sent me was hey, you look like you have your life together lies. I did not, but I did not tell him that until he put a ring on my finger.
Speaker 2I do.
Speaker 6I'm perfect.
Speaker 2I'm a perfection. Oh, big beaver.
Speaker 6I have a dainty beaver.
Speaker 12I have a dainty beaver hey, lois, I got a big beaver want to know how to take a shit in a coffee cup.
Speaker 9Oh, my God.
Speaker 10Where do you get these things?
Speaker 5TikTok A lot of work, a lot of work.
Speaker 6Tiki-takis Speaking of. Do we get to watch Toilet Talks?
Speaker 5Oh yeah, we got Toilet Talks coming up soon.
Speaker 8Not, yet Not yet we got some good ones though.
Speaker 9We got some good ones though.
Speaker 5We got some good ones yeah.
Speaker 2Be patient. I got some bangers. I don't want to.
Speaker 1So, hey, bangers and mash.
Speaker 10So you sent her the first message right.
Speaker 6Yeah.
Speaker 10Did I mean we were like scoping out her profile and we're not looking at her pictures and whatever.
Speaker 6Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. What was your creep creeper strategy?
Speaker 10what had to be. We're on the internet. We're all creepers just internet shopping.
Speaker 2Yeah, he was like this one looks nice window shopping, you know?
Speaker 5uh, it was.
Speaker 6You had a photo in there of like curly hair yeah, I had curly hair and I don't do that anymore and I was like okay and then I think
Speaker 5maybe it said on there you were a school teacher, yeah, and I was like okay, she does have a career, yeah, whole job, so that's cool, so yeah, yeah I mean uh when I smile yeah, I had curly hair and a job.
Speaker 6That was the requirements he was looking for low bar low bar, so for me.
Speaker 10I mean, uh, I I talked to I don't know how many uh women on there like so many, but um, you'll be a goddamn banana ball. Now I get it I mean obviously none of them actually respond. I mean you get like maybe five out of five out of 100 that actually say anything. Can you send me 55 dollars?
Speaker 2yeah, 55 dollars, I'll talk to you.
Speaker 10Well, even western, back then there wasn't nearly as many bots as there are now. I mean, I mean, this was back back in, like 2012, 2013, something like that. So, um, back then I mean it was just, you know, you're getting authentic people. But uh, um, when, um, I was pretty much given up because I was like there's no way I'm gonna find anyone on this, whatever. Whatever, I took like a two break, a two week break, and then, you know, I've been getting messages every so often from from, you know, mainly bots, but some of them were actually real people that I was just like no interest, not at all, no. And then, but when she sent me a message, I was like there's no effing way, she's not real yeah.
Speaker 10There's no way she's real. I was like she is too pretty to be anybody who's going to be talking to me. And I was so excited because it was like the first time I saw someone who was like pretty and attractive and smart and was like there's no way she's talking to me, there's no way. That's so sweet I got. So I got so excited and nervous when I was typing out my response to her no you want a dick pic?
Speaker 6let's just get out of the way yeah, he sent me the first message and he said hey, you look like you have your life together. Uh, I have two boys and a 10 month old. Great dane, let me know if you want to chat. And I was very wine drunk by myself in my apartment and out loud to no one in my apartment.
Speaker 6I said I like great danes, I'll fuck with this and I and I replied and I looked at his profile and in his his profile picture catfished me because he had a jeep and I was like fuck yeah, no, this man drove a minivan jeep like hey, he drove a minivan. Say that with conviction. He had. He drove a minivan. Say that with conviction.
Speaker 2He had no Jeep. Rubicon, he had no Jeep. He had stay in the party van.
Speaker 6He had stay in the party van which I didn't find out until our second date.
Speaker 10That's hilarious.
Speaker 6It was great.
Speaker 10So what was it like? A stock photo?
Speaker 6No, no, no no, no, he had rented one.
Speaker 5I rented in Red River, new Mexico, with me and my boys, and we were off-roading up in the mountains.
Speaker 6So it was really him. It was him, me and the boys On a Jeep.
Speaker 5Actually, I think it was just me. I think one of the boys took the photo for me.
Speaker 6Yeah but you didn't have the boys in the picture.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 6He had no fish pictures. He had no pictures of, like you know, like dudes, like holding up a fish. He didn't have he didn't have any of those.
Speaker 6And he didn't have a mirror selfie Like he didn't have any of those and he didn't have any like group pictures where it was like him and a bunch of people. It was he. Just he had a very normal L and in his profile he said something like I'm like a skinnier version of Kevin James and I was like absolutely version of kevin james and I was like absolutely 100, I'm in and for the last few years I've been
Speaker 6the fatter version of kevin james, or just just kevin, just kevin james? No, he's in way better shape than I am but that was it, and then we talked for a long time I had a knee surgery went on a date. I moved in a few like a month later. Golly Got engaged a few months later, Got married a few months later and that was it. We met in February, got married in December. Nice, perfect.
Speaker 5Perfect, I mean sometimes I don't see why I?
Speaker 2wait so long you know what I mean.
Speaker 5Like some, people are like oh yeah, we're getting married in two years. And you're like why two years? And they're just like oh, just want to make sure.
Speaker 10Yeah, well, that's, that's the thing, and it makes sense because you want to make sure that the person knows how to take care of themselves. They know how to take care of their money at the house by themselves. Yep, you know you have to know these things because you're gonna be living with them for your entire life or hopefully living with someone.
Speaker 2All of that, I missed all that.
Speaker 10Oh yeah, you have to, you have to make sure you have to make sure they're, they're like a person that you can trust, you know, and then when you're living with them, I mean, obviously you don't want to be, you know, married first, then live with them, because that's just absolutely not, no way you have to make to make sure that there's someone who you're okay living with.
Speaker 10You know, you see all their mannerisms, you see all of their quirks and their problems and how they handle stuff, and if you can handle that all of their you know annoying nuances or whatever or stuff that might get on your nerves and if you're okay with it then you're okay so.
Speaker 2Because mail okay, so because stacking mail is the reason I'm gonna divorce him one day.
Speaker 5Oh my god. And guess what does stacking mail mean this? Literally, this finger has the power and her mic's muted right now, and she just tried to talk he stacks mail I don't do that any longer instead of throwing it away he just he did he still does it, but it's not as bad and it's fine.
Speaker 6But he would just like the junk mail junk mail. He would stack it and it would just create this mountain of bullshit papers.
Speaker 5That's what I wanted to know. It's filling up the landfills.
Speaker 6Because we're environmentalists.
Speaker 2Yeah, shred it and use it as enrichment.
Speaker 5I gotta pay penance for all the oil I dumped into the ground at the acreage In Kosovo. Use it as enrichment.
Speaker 6I got to pay penance for all the oil I dumped into the ground at Kosovo.
Speaker 5The acreage In Kosovo, kosovo, no.
Speaker 6I got to pay penance for my time at war. No, in the old acreage.
Speaker 9It's what we did.
Speaker 5Yeah, yeah the old days.
Speaker 2That's just toxic waste, the old days man. Toxic plasmosis no.
Speaker 5Pneumonosis. No, I was about to say something.
Speaker 2Oh.
Speaker 5I don't know, casey.
Speaker 6Do you have kiddos, Brian? No, no, no no, he says good God no.
Speaker 10Yeah, just the three dogs, the fur babies yes, that's funny enough for us.
Speaker 5You're not having any. Three dogs You're not having any kids. No, no, I know a lot of people are going to hear this. A lot of kids are going to hear this.
Speaker 6A lot of kids hear this show. I hope not.
Speaker 5No, no, they just hear this. What I'm about to say, oh Jesus, and that is wait till marriage.
Speaker 9God don't do that Ever.
Speaker 5I can't remember if we heard this story before the last podcast, so I'm going to say it now.
Speaker 6So we did, but I don't think we told the story.
Speaker 5We might have, but anyway there was a couple that got married.
Speaker 10The wife finds out that the husband has an inverted penis and he got excited it would go the other direction.
Speaker 9How the hell does that work exactly he fucked himself.
Speaker 5Oh yeah, fun and I'll. And I said just that's my hair thing blowing the butthole. Yeah, you know that's it, but anyway you continually have to blow to she waited. They waited till marriage. She did divorce the guy, but it was like after a year of marriage, a year she said I can't take any more.
Speaker 1Like Any humping.
Speaker 5This. This is why I'm tired of pegging. We test drive cars, right? We test drive cars and cars aren't. You're not making necessarily a lifetime commitment to that car, and we test drive a car. Test drive your significant other. Test drive the wiener. Yeah, before you sign that paper, take it on a test drive.
Speaker 6You've test driven Friend Boy's wiener. Is it a good test drive? Okay good. Does he have to take Cialis? I don't know. Viagis, I don't know Viagra, I don't know. I don't think so. I think it's leaking. I mean it doesn't really matter if it works.
Speaker 4I don't know, but something works, that's my fucking coochie that's hanging out, whoa.
Speaker 2I don't know man, Something's working.
Speaker 5Yeah, I'm just saying yeah, Take a test drive. Okay, test drive Live with them for a little bit before you decide to like. Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 7Travel with them. Oh, we already did that. We went to Hugo.
Speaker 6I think it's really important to travel with people before. No, we only went to Dallas our first trip.
Speaker 5Out of state.
Speaker 6Why does it have first trip out of state with?
Speaker 10two kids. You know, our first, our first challenge. My wife and I, when we first got together, it was like our second week together.
Speaker 6We went to a anime convention in dallas yeah, look at that, see, I I really feel like when you travel with someone, you really learn some weird idiosyncrasies about people, because that's when people get real fucking weird, when they're out of their normal habitat.
Speaker 5See how that person acts towards service industry workers. Like a waiter waitress hostess God, there's some people Even through a drive-thru right. Those people are getting paid shit and yeah, I get upset with my order when it's wrong, but I don't walk into the store, I don't call them. I'll take the extras off my hamburger before I eat it if they put it on there. But see how they treat those type of service industry people and see what they do at Buc-ee's.
Speaker 7Oh what do you mean Dad? Did y'all go to Buc-ee's?
Speaker 10No, what Do you go to Buc-ee's? No, I've actually never been to a Buc-ee's, I'm sorry, but Buc-ee's is the best place on earth.
Speaker 6I fucking love Bucky's. Hey, bill, do you?
Speaker 5love Bucky's. So what's your red flag at Bucky's if they do a little something weird in there? What is it?
Speaker 6Yeah, why, bucky's, I don't know.
Speaker 5If they don't get the beaver nuggets, you're like, you're fucking weird.
Speaker 2I'm like you gotta get beef jerky.
Speaker 8At least you gotta get a roast beef sandwich.
Speaker 6Oh, I've never had a roast beef sandwich. I did the barbecue sandwich, the pulled pork and the brisket sandwiches. And the homemade potato chips.
Speaker 5And they have beaver nuggets. I know doesn't sound good, Sounds kind of gross.
Speaker 2Beaver nuggets.
Speaker 10I get it, but you're eating beaver though.
Speaker 2We're eating beaver, no, regardless.
Speaker 5No, not really. It's just what kind of flavor? Is it A beaver flavor, A toffee Tuna?
Speaker 6Beaver, it's caramel Fishy.
Speaker 5It's caramel. Yeah, caramel. And what?
Speaker 6No, you can get Cheddar.
Speaker 2Bay Biscuit. What?
Speaker 6Cheddar Bay Biscuit.
Speaker 5Beaver. That's what your beaver tastes like Cheddar Bay Biscuit.
Speaker 6Yeah, jalap, jalapeno. Hey, speaking of Buttermilk ranch, I need you. You need to take your shot right now. Oh, right now. No, I need to mix it.
Speaker 2You need to what I'll drink a little bit of mixy. It's a mixy. You do what you need.
Speaker 1Is it time for the banana ball? Yeah, it's time for banana ball. Oh she.
Speaker 6Ready for banana ball? Do half this is poise no, you're okay, I'm gonna need a shooter do it, yeah, but this is banana. I imagine it's good come out so thick, it's creamy was it good really good oh yeah I know me too, man that's fantastic.
Speaker 1Do you like it?
Speaker 5do you like banana laffy taffy oh yeah is it like banana Laffy Taffy? Yeah, is it like banana Laffy Taffy. So compare it's better, better, better.
Speaker 6Wow, that's a big claim. Wow, shane loves banana.
Speaker 1Laffy Taffy, I do too. This is the only banana.
Speaker 6Can I run that's?
Speaker 2the only banana.
Speaker 5I can eat. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, it's really good. Okay, don't be a baby, there we go.
Speaker 6Don't be a baby, drink it, drink it.
Speaker 5What's that say what?
Speaker 10brand is that Blue Chair Bay, blue Chair Bay.
Speaker 5Premium blend, you're welcome. Blue Chair for the plug.
Speaker 6And they did have like a key lime pie.
Speaker 10He wants a double shot Just get the small little bits I'm going to have to try it the small little bits real banana. Can I do it?
Speaker 5oh, you can do it all night, I can do it all night. Baby girl, we're moving into the asmr purse uh. Portion of the show I hate asmr that sounds moist.
Speaker 12I don't like it. Hold on, hold on. This is hot Wait.
Speaker 6That sounds moist. I don't like it. Oh moist.
Speaker 11Oh moist. Someone watching this, listening to it.
Speaker 5they're about to bust, Guaranteed.
Speaker 6Did you drink your habanero?
Speaker 2I drank this much, can I have a beer?
Speaker 6Uh-huh, it's real spicy, that's true.
Speaker 9I'm going to have spicy farts.
Speaker 6Do you need a refill? In front of friend boy.
Speaker 2Oh no, I'm good, you're good.
Speaker 6Okay, I'm going to have spicy, you're going to have spicy farts. Hey, now this is a good time for you to fart in front of friend boy. And you can blame it on the shots. Do you think he'll break up with me?
Speaker 5I doubt it. If he does, I'll call him a pussy.
Speaker 8That's right, everybody's forward okay, but what do you say? Do you own it? Do you laugh? Do you just you laugh and you go pretend like it didn't happen and like.
Speaker 6So what you do? No, you can't what you do, you laugh until you fight, exactly.
Speaker 1Oh, you hand a sticker, you go ah, you're like listen, this is happening, right now because here I keep it on brand.
Speaker 6Here's what happens. I feel like once one of you farts, the other one's like oh, thank God.
Speaker 5They're like oh, I got these bubbles. You just broke the tension.
Speaker 6I think people wait until the other one farts to know if their partner is an in-front-of-person far, farter I'm not super farty, but you know, what I mean, like some people will not fart in front of other people yeah and so if they, if their partner, that's true learns that about them. It's fucking weird yeah I asked the kids.
Speaker 2I was like can you fart at school? And they were like yeah, I was like in the class or like at recess. Sorry, I was like in class. I was like everybody laughed.
Speaker 10Molly was like no, I only did it at recess, I was outside during cheer during show and tell I got up in front of the class and just kind of rip one.
Speaker 2Oh, my god that would be so fun.
Speaker 9Go team go.
Speaker 10I just want to point out how hilarious it is that all of us are in our 40s or close to our 40s and we're talking about farts.
Speaker 5Absolutely. And people laugh at the name of the podcast and I'm like, come on.
Speaker 1Like look what happened.
Speaker 6We are on brand and I'm like, come on, like, look what happened. We are on brand, on brand, keeping it on brand, it's who we are. Okay, well, next time I'll report if I farted.
Speaker 5Please do yeah, we'll move on from farting Tonight at dinner. No, I want this topic. I want you two to talk about it, okay.
Speaker 2So let's just talk about farting.
Speaker 5Yes Say, I'm going to be, like you fart all night.
Speaker 10Like, I give you permission.
Speaker 1Record it To fart To fart.
Speaker 5Damn, can you not blow our ears out? Yeah?
Speaker 6Is that what my farts sound like?
Speaker 2Yeah, he has three boys, so surely it's.
Speaker 5They know farting.
Speaker 2But they're also very weird about girls and stuff.
Speaker 5For you, he's gonna go you really need a pre and probiotic, because that shit is congealed.
Speaker 6That's chunky.
Speaker 5I think we're battling family medical history here.
Speaker 1He said I don't ever smell, so that's.
Speaker 2I'm doing good.
Speaker 5He's lying what he's not he's not a liar hey, hey, friend boy, we know each other. Um, just look right here real quick don't fucking lie, I don't smell okay, don't lie, it's not cool, do you also not sweat?
Speaker 8Oh, I sweat, I'm a sweaty girl.
Speaker 2I think I'm premenopausal. I sweat.
Speaker 5Then you smell.
Speaker 1But my vagina don't your bajinjin.
Speaker 6Brian's like. I'm going to try to stay as neutral as possible right now. Take a shot. Listen here, the vajay now.
Speaker 9Take a shot, you're shit, you're shit, You're shit.
Speaker 10Listen here the vajayjay is like a desert.
Speaker 6It's a desert. Oh man, God, I hope it's not a desert. I'm 40, so the Sahara Got a tool on that thing. That's why we got K-Y.
Speaker 5Let's not do that.
Speaker 6Spit on my phone, do that. And you know what if I spit on no, no, look, we got ky that didn't work. Fuck you guys are doing good, thank you yeah, we were doing good.
Speaker 5Then you had to say hot two up, that's over. That was five minutes ago. So many no, but like what?
Speaker 2if all of a sudden.
Speaker 8I spit on it what would you do?
Speaker 6because I've never spit on it.
Speaker 5So if happens, then you can't look at me if I spit into the air and catch it in my mouth.
Speaker 9That's gross.
Speaker 5Can't do that, you have never done that. Well, I'm just saying so. To me it does look kind of gross. I was like I'm not hocking a loogie on it. I'm going to put that right in my mouth. She hocked to it. Babe, that's a loogie. Did you watch the video? She was like yeah, that's loogie when you go and you have to reach back when you Like. That that's loogie. That's loogie. That is loogie.
Speaker 6You got to like reach deep into the crevice of your throat she snotted all on that cock, oh golly. And then two at it, two at it gross what would be worse? Like a dry spit? Like a dry? What? What's a dry? Spit like where you don't have any saliva to spit with. So you just so. Why are you spitting that? That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3What if I did?
Speaker 6that. What if I just aggressively like on it? I'm going to try that tonight.
Speaker 2Oh God, we're leaving and we're out.
Speaker 5That's weird. Let's try it, oh God.
Speaker 8Oh God, Get us out of.
Speaker 2oh god get us out of here get me out of here. Oh, okay, okay we got it out. What else about your marriage?
Speaker 5so do you wipe each other or are we going to go from here? Yeah, where do you wipe each other? Oh God, where do you go from here? Yeah, where do you go next? What you don't. If you fart in front of each other, you shit in front of each other. What's next?
Speaker 6Oh yeah.
Speaker 2Wiping each other, farting and pooping. Those are all weird you have to do, you have to get to know people.
Speaker 6you know, he just slowly keeps bringing stuff to my house.
Speaker 7I think what, oh is he?
Speaker 6slowly moving in.
Speaker 5He's just, he's like deodorant I think what's fun is is thinking about and I kind of have a story I've started writing for many years ago what thinking about all the first times that happen in a new relationship and just how silly and how kind of self-aware we are during that time when it doesn't really fucking matter. You have your period and if you constantly have to be that self-aware around the person you're trying to be with I, I don't think that's healthy either right because you're hiding a piece of yourself.
Speaker 5Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 10So successful and self-aware a successful relationship has to be something where you can be yourself completely and utterly yeah, yes if you're hiding yourself in any way, it's not healthy and I like from the beginning like it's got to be you, yeah, from the beginning, your authentic self, yeah yeah, how long did y'all date? We actually we were together for two years before we got married. Wow, mm-hmm, and we lived together for about a year and a half, yeah.
Speaker 2So you were like I know how you poop apart, we're good.
Speaker 10Pretty much Like I was saying earlier. It's basically you know, you learn each other's like quirks and bad habits and good habits and you just see if it's something that you can live with and babe, we just increase your fiber we're good.
Speaker 6Yeah, I mean, they say that if you can live, if you can see someone's worst, then you can appreciate their best absolutely yeah, which I like that phrase much better than if you can't take me out my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best I think that is a shitty that's marilyn monroe, I think that's a shitty.
Speaker 5The scorned woman. Post you are scorned.
Speaker 6Okay, yeah, we're angry if you can't take me at my worst. We have to take off in the butt yeah, listen, botch, you don't have to that we bleed from a hole every month.
Speaker 5I think there's plenty of guys that are okay not putting their cock in your butt are they worth it?
Speaker 6they're not you started it. Have you and friend boy done it in the butt?
Speaker 2no, not yet, maybe not after the shot. Have an arrow shot. Have you and friend boy done it in the butt? No Yet, not yet, not yet, maybe, not after the shot. Maybe have an arrow shot.
Speaker 5I have spicy diarrhea though. Thanks guys.
Speaker 2He's done the little doorbell.
Speaker 6We went past the pooping into straight to diarrhea. Over each other.
Speaker 10I said what, what in the butt? I said what, what in the butt? You want to do it in the butt.
Speaker 4In the butt. You want to do it in the butt.
Speaker 6In my butt. You want to do it in the butt. What were those called In the butt, Bob?
Speaker 1Because they used memes and gifs.
Speaker 2What were those called before? They weren't vines.
Speaker 10They were before vines. Oh yeah, what were they?
Speaker 5Albino, black sheep, yeah, before vine, Because yeah like what?
Speaker 2what in the butt and the oh my God shoes, like all that.
Speaker 5Yes, like those YouTube videos At the same time, it wasn't Vine, though we're going to Candy Mountain.
Speaker 6Charlie, charlie, batman, that was just YouTube. How's Charlie that good?
Speaker 5What was before Vine?
Speaker 6Yeah, it was just YouTube. What?
Speaker 10were those called.
Speaker 6YouTube was like the first one. I don't know they were just little clips.
Speaker 2What the hell? Why am I Googling? I don't want to Google. Because, now we have memes, jiffy Gifts and we have what else? Jiffy Gifts.
Speaker 5Shorts, shorts, youtube, shorts, reels, reels, tiktok.
Speaker 2But those were the OG, it was like the gopher and it would be like da da da I.
Speaker 5I never read, never saw those.
Speaker 2Piano cat.
Speaker 5Yeah, I thought those were vines.
Speaker 10No like no, it was before.
Speaker 6Badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom.
Speaker 10I mean, it was just, you know, it was they just called them like little videos on, you know new grounds.
Speaker 5Everybody like shared them.
Speaker 6And like shared them and were they just on like, uh, new grounds, you know, some kind of like chat, doing something weird, like what was it where the guy was?
Speaker 5like I'm a flutter snag, like I know he was on youtube, aol messenger or something.
Speaker 10Yeah aim, yep, aol instant messenger, good old aim or icq, if you remember that I remember those that one.
Speaker 2Those were the OGG, like the.
Speaker 10Back when the internet first began. Yeah, piano Cat and the, you know the internet itself was made in like the 80s but it didn't actually become like widespread into like 98.
Speaker 1The military invented it why?
Speaker 5Sort of they kind of grandfathered it in a sense.
Speaker 10I believe it was Al Gore who made the internet.
Speaker 2Yeah, al Gore was like look at all these booby pits on here.
Speaker 5Let me teach you how to spell Spell booby. Didn't he spell something wrong?
Speaker 2B-O-B-B-Y-E Booby.
Speaker 12Booby.
Speaker 5I like booby. Did you find out what was before?
Speaker 10vines. That's where the ghosts hang out at the boobay At the boobay.
Speaker 1Boo.
Speaker 5Okay, google.
Speaker 10Oh, my god what.
Speaker 5Social media platform Came before vine. What Are you going to talk it?
Speaker 6Here's what I found, probably MySpace.
Speaker 5Yeah, MySpace, oh it's playing on the headphones MySpace, but I don't think it's. It said YouTube oh.
Speaker 2It was YouTubes.
Speaker 5YouTube was the first one.
Speaker 2It's just YouTubes, just little videos on YouTube. People just shared little YouTube videos. Yeah, that was the first.
Speaker 6I just don't think they were called anything in particular.
Speaker 10Well, I mean before YouTube. It was just random videos on things like Newgrounds and Albino Black Sheep.
Speaker 6College Humor. Yeah, college Humor, man, I spent way too much time on College Humor.
Speaker 1Way too much fucking time that was always about Albino Black Sheep for me.
Speaker 5So I have a special surprise for this podcast episode.
Speaker 2And it may become tradition.
Speaker 5It may become a new segment on the podcast and I am calling it. I'm calling it blind karaoke, oh shit. So I got a little bandana here.
Speaker 10Are we doing NSYNC?
Speaker 5And so as best we can. We can use this to blindfold someone.
Speaker 6Why didn't you just get her blindfold from?
Speaker 5the nightstand?
Speaker 9I don't have one From your where.
Speaker 5Nightstand. Oh, I have these noise-canceling headphones, oh damn. So you're going to put the blindfold on, you're going to put the headphones on and I'm going to play a song.
Speaker 2How are we going to know Exactly? Can you just sing a random song?
Speaker 5and you're gonna try to sing whatever song comes on. But we won't know.
Speaker 1You probably know the songs, oh we can I will no, no, we can't see it, can we can't see it? You'll hear it in the headphones. Oh, we can hear it. And these are songs.
Speaker 5You probably know that you sing in the car very, very badly and is it the karaoke version? No, I just call it blind karaoke.
Speaker 6Well, it should be the karaoke version of the song.
Speaker 10No, but if you can, hear it what's the point of doing it if you can still hear it and know it?
Speaker 5Trust no, because you're still going to be in the mic, so we're all going to hear it. The people listening or watching are going to hear it, and then we're going to play a game to try to guess what they're trying to sing.
Speaker 2Okay, let me prep Good because, Taylor's going first.
Speaker 8I don't even know, that, trust me, it's going to be fun.
Speaker 6It's going to be fun.
Speaker 2What is that?
Speaker 6called Vocalese. How do you call it Scales?
Speaker 5Scales, okay, arpeggio and and the reason for the blindfold also is so that you're not so aware of us around you that you may get kind of nervous. That's that's really what the blind line.
Speaker 10Definitely blind. Line is copyrighted Blind line Put those on. Don't put those on. Yet. It's copyrighted per Shane Harges.
Speaker 6Put these headphones on. Can't afford a copyright.
Speaker 5Blind line is not to be used by anyone else other than Shane Harges Plus here's the thing I can actually play the actual music, but since it's coming through that headphones and we won't hear the music, I don't have to worry about youtube striking the channel because I'm playing some popular song. So it's a loophole, ladies and gentlemen it's a loophole get hair shit you can't no good what Do you know how blindfolds work? Yeah, why don't you put that on first?
Speaker 6We are about to find out Put that on first.
Speaker 2This is a hat.
Speaker 5This is a hat. Well, I know, it's the thing this is a surgeon's hat Hat. Well, that's his freedom hat. It's my biker hat. There you go.
Speaker 6You look like Daredevil Nice.
Speaker 9Blind superhero, let's see you go. Okay, can you hear us?
Speaker 5No, why do you respond? You won't hear once the song starts playing Lies. Just make sure where your mic is and still sing into the mic. Okay, you ready Blind karaoke. Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. Can you hear it?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 5Alright, here we go.
Speaker 2When do I sing?
Speaker 9Just sing along. I don't know this song.
Speaker 10Most likely not the refrain.
Speaker 5Are they saying uh in the song?
Speaker 6Is it Usher?
Speaker 8I don't know this song. Uh, uh, uh, uh Uh.
Speaker 5Uh, you gotta sing. Oh, she's jamming. I don't know the song, sing it.
Speaker 11Uh.
Speaker 2Breathing in, breathing out.
Speaker 5I know the song you don't know that song, no, okay.
Speaker 2Breathing in breathing out.
Speaker 5Do you know this song?
Speaker 8Oh, hold on, I thought I was done.
Speaker 5No, you could. I'll use that song on someone else.
Speaker 3You're never done.
Speaker 5Why are these?
Speaker 2all hard rock.
Speaker 5Can you pick?
Speaker 2a different playlist.
Speaker 5Like a pop playlist.
Speaker 10She knows this one.
Speaker 12My name is Kim.
Speaker 5How about this one? Oh, oh, yeah, here we go.
Speaker 8How about this one? Oh, okay.
Speaker 5Oh yeah, here we go Hold on.
Speaker 9Oh, could you see through my eyes Open?
Speaker 1door. She's saying it, she's saying it.
Speaker 9You know, it's those songs that we kind of know, but when we're singing them in the car you couldn't really understand them. All right, all right, Wake'm sorry. Oh my God.
Speaker 1Wake me up.
Speaker 6I can't wake up. I think they're playing tonight at Rock Oklahoma actually.
Speaker 5Are they?
Speaker 6Yeah, slipknot plays tomorrow. All right, casey Sue let's go, just like her.
Speaker 7That's awesome.
Speaker 2Oh wait a minute.
Speaker 7I sound just like her.
Speaker 10Oh my God, I'm going to pull. Oh my god, I'm gonna pull a faux paw and I'm gonna go take a tinkle, go take a tinkle.
Speaker 1Oh my god, I gotta pee, who pees, who pees, especially on a first date.
Speaker 8I forgot my headphone.
Speaker 2You gotta do it as a hat head Head, hat Head hat.
Speaker 6Head hat. Do I look cool? No, just pull it down, mind your business.
Speaker 5You don't have to tie it Mind your business. Your headphones will keep it on.
Speaker 2Dick licker, he's lucky Ew.
Speaker 5Here's your mic.
Speaker 1It's not fair, though she's a singer.
Speaker 5It's not fair, though she's a singer it's not about, like, whether you can sing or not if you know the song, oh all that shots she knows this one. I can't hear it.
Speaker 6Well, yeah are we waiting for Brian?
Speaker 5no, we're going you'll do the whole song Are we waiting for Brian. No, we're going Be right, you'll do the whole song.
Speaker 2Oh my God, she's jamming out.
Speaker 5I'm glad we can only see the mic.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 5It looks like she's jerking it off. Oh my God, slow down, I'm going to spurt.
Speaker 2Oh, are you going to sing or not?
Speaker 6Yeah you're going to sing. There's no singing yet.
Speaker 2Is it instrumental?
Speaker 6It's like 12 measures of instrumental.
Speaker 5No.
Speaker 6Are you sure? Wake up, put a little makeup Gets up on the table. You wanted to. You wanted to Wake up Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da suicide.
Speaker 6Uh-huh, I cry when angels deserve to die.
Speaker 5Nice.
Speaker 6Wake up, put a little makeup, shake up, shake up, shake up. You wanted to, you wanted to, you wanted to, you wanted to dance robot you wanted to.
Speaker 2I don't think you trust in okay, okay, we got it my, you have like all hard rock songs though yeah, gotta switch up the genres do a different playlist.
Speaker 5Slow jams just look up top karaoke songs that would actually be.
Speaker 2That could be really really good, because no one knows Puddle of Mud, I know Puddle of Mud.
Speaker 10That wasn't one of them that was Chop Suey and I love the rendition of it thank you, table little makeup.
Speaker 2It was.
Speaker 6And I love the rendition of it.
Speaker 11Thank you, table Little makeup.
Speaker 5Shake up Table Girl cheese.
Speaker 1You wanted to. You wanted to.
Speaker 13I don't think you trust in my cooking.
Speaker 5See part of the here's, part of the reason for this bit is if you're singing a song you really know, this isn't for how accurate you're getting the lyrics, no, it's for those friend songs that are on the outside of our memory space no-transcript songs that you have karaoke'd. Every one of these I'm looking at.
Speaker 2So like Wet Dream Tomato.
Speaker 5No, I'm gonna hit her with a little bit of French fries. I'm gonna hit her with a little bit of Bon Jovi.
Speaker 6Shut your dirty whore mouth. I can't tell her I hate Bon Jovi. I don't like your, I don't like your.
Speaker 2I don't like your bandana. You look like the X-Men guy.
Speaker 10I did say you look like Daredevil.
Speaker 2Daredevil. I was thinking Flash, or something this isn't singing.
Speaker 5I like her guitar though I can't get the song though.
Speaker 6Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner. Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in, the city of angels.
Speaker 9I switched the song.
Speaker 5It was too good she knew that song.
Speaker 6I don't know that I'm too good. She knew that song, See. That's why it doesn't work. She's like I don't know that I'm a good person to play this game. Do you know the song? I don't know the song. It's Creed. I can't hear it.
Speaker 9I can kill him. Give him Creed.
Speaker 5And we have to try to guess what song it is. Or you guys do, because I know.
Speaker 6Spread out before me this is. Creed as her body goes still. Is it live?
Speaker 2No, I like the full. I like the song.
Speaker 11I like the song.
Speaker 6Down the horizons. Body breathe. We will travel.
Speaker 5This is what I wanted.
Speaker 6This is what I wanted.
Speaker 9In the box.
Speaker 5Nope.
Speaker 2Ever clear, ever green, ever something 90s grunge.
Speaker 6In Seattle, nirvana.
Speaker 5No Close, but not Nirvana.
Speaker 6In that family of bands that came out. What was everything?
Speaker 9Bands that came out.
Speaker 6What was everything? Blind Melon, that's it. Tattooed everything.
Speaker 10You know the song, I know the song, I just don't know what. It's called Leadbetter.
Speaker 1No, it's Pearl Jam, pearl Jam, pearl Jam.
Speaker 6Oh, black Black Is Leadbet better potato fries. Yeah.
Speaker 1Give me fries. Your turn, oh shit.
Speaker 10It's my turn.
Speaker 6Can you put on some like girly?
Speaker 10pop. Oh you bet.
Speaker 2Put on like Christina Aguilera, yeah put on some Britney. Spears.
Speaker 1I'm a genie in the bottle, baby, own it, bitch.
Speaker 9It'll be Come on come on, Come on, damn it girl.
Speaker 2You look like Gambit.
Speaker 5Alright, let me find the song I want. Okay, I found it.
Speaker 2Get ready.
Speaker 5Here we go.
Speaker 2Baby got that.
Speaker 9Now we wait. I don't think I've heard this one. Tell me what you want, what I really really want.
Speaker 10I don't think I've heard this one.
Speaker 7Tell me what you want what you really really want. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.
Speaker 9I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna. I Gotta make it loud.
Speaker 10I don't think I've heard this one.
Speaker 2Oh, he doesn't know it, I didn't know the first three.
Speaker 10Let's see.
Speaker 2Pretty sure that was Alice in Chains. Wrong Creed, wrong Creed, wow, wow it's definitely butt rock, for sure butt rock, butt rock, for sure, butt rock.
Speaker 6What's butt rock is butt rock. What you listen to when you do it in the butt oh baby baby, oh baby baby.
Speaker 1How was I supposed to? Know, oh baby baby, oh baby baby. How was I supposed to know? Something wasn't right, yeah. The music stopped.
Speaker 9Oh no.
Speaker 1It stopped. We were having a good time. Oh, baby, baby shouldn't have let you go. No, no, no, show me how you want it to be. Tell me, baby, because I need to know now, because my loneliness is killing me. And now I must confess, I still believe, still believe, and when you're with me I lose my mind. Give me a sign. Hit me, baby, one more time, alright.
Speaker 9Give it up Wow.
Speaker 5Bringing the house down on blind karaoke.
Speaker 1Yabatch, yabatch, he fucking knew that song.
Speaker 5Well, who doesn't?
Speaker 6That was awesome. Alright, holy shit, that was great.
Speaker 5Alright, that's into that, Brian.
Speaker 9Oh hell no.
Speaker 5I gotta get another one, we'll hit you with another one. Okay, let's see. Let's see Again, jesus. Let's see if you know this Zuss. Let's see if you know this. I'm going to guess a no.
Speaker 6There's some thinking happening.
Speaker 5There's some thinking, there's some head bobs, not much singing, though.
Speaker 10I'll have to wait for the refrain on this one. I know the song. I'll have to wait for the refrain. No, just try like a chomp, hey like a chomp, hey like a chomp, hey chomp, hey like a chomp, hey, like a chomp, hey I wish I could rap, and I probably do a lot better with this.
Speaker 5Oh, I thought that was going to be it.
Speaker 10I know the song. I don't know the words.
Speaker 1I did it all for the nookie.
Speaker 11There you go, okay.
Speaker 5We can move into toilet talks when brother-sister Taylor gets back. You can unmask if you want. What if I don't want? Well, just switch headphones. That's all I could be Daredevil, yeah, daredevil, born again. I can't wait for that to come out.
Speaker 10There's no one called born again.
Speaker 6Yeah, bringing them back More karaoke no, now out, there's a new one called born again.
Speaker 5Yeah, yeah, bringing them back, bringing them back more karaoke. No, now we get into the fun.
Speaker 13He just wanted to wear the bandana. All right, here we go. Let's go full throttle.
Speaker 6I just super daddied my pants. Oh don't, Are you putting it on the screen?
Speaker 5Yes, I am Well, Brian, sit back relax, get ready.
Speaker 2What are?
Speaker 13we doing.
Speaker 5I think I just told you to hop for no reason. It's not going to work again, though it's going to work, watch your head, oh no.
Speaker 9Oh boy, that is not ideal. Why did he not jump?
Speaker 5I saw that coming from a mile away.
Speaker 1Cut to his gold house. Why did he jump? Oh, I like that hat though.
Speaker 6Why are there so many guys in a?
Speaker 9minivan.
Speaker 10That sounds like a show actually.
Speaker 9Why are there so many guys in a minivan?
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 5Eat your heart out, Axel.
Speaker 2I like him.
Speaker 8You should have him on.
Speaker 6Blind Karaoke. You spelled Axel wrong. No no, axley Axley, axley Axley.
Speaker 13Oh here he comes oh no.
Speaker 9That sounded like me, oh god.
Speaker 6That's a well-maintained mullet.
Speaker 2I think it's the king of mullets. I like the feather too guys.
Speaker 6No, what's great is?
Speaker 5it says eat your heart out. Like this version, mr rose supersedes yours. Guys, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 6Don't, don't Pause, pause. Okay, the other day on my drive to work I saw five mullets. Five, five. On my way to work.
Speaker 5You had to stop our talk. Videos for mullets.
Speaker 6I'm just really confused about what was happening on Thursday.
Speaker 5Were they high school kids? No, were they junior high kids?
Speaker 6No children, all adults, and not in the same car. None of them were together.
Speaker 5It wasn't a gaggle of mullets, it was not a gaggle of mullets.
Speaker 6It was just independent mullets.
Speaker 5Just individual mullets in the wild.
Speaker 6It really it unnerved me to see that many wild mullets.
Speaker 2I thought they were going out.
Speaker 6No, they were. I found five of them, oh shit, and it was scary.
Speaker 10The mullets are coming back.
Speaker 6Okay, carry on.
Speaker 12Carry on Chitty on Spitzball.
Speaker 9Spitzball. Oh no, that's about $30 down the drain. He just gave up on life.
Speaker 5Probably a production assistant Going back and selling.
Speaker 10That's about $30 down the drain At least.
Speaker 9Oh no, oh man.
Speaker 6Oh no, that was sad, oh no.
Speaker 9Oh, no Just hugged it.
Speaker 2I kind of want to do this. Oh, what the fuck I want to do this.
Speaker 1So he puked because she burped.
Speaker 2No, they chugged the Sprite. How are you feeling?
Speaker 5It's the Sprite challenge.
Speaker 2It's just not meant to be drunk in one sitting.
Speaker 9Drunk. It's just not meant for it. I didn't finish.
Speaker 1So it's like a whole bottle of Sprite.
Speaker 6Is that what it is? Yeah, you like chug Sprite and then, burp, let's see.
Speaker 5You try not to burp and finish the bottle.
Speaker 10That might be what I'm going to need to do for our scene at the diner.
Speaker 11I was just wondering about that, because my burps aren't that loud going to need to do for our scene at the diner. You know what I mean. I was just wondering about that because my burps aren't that loud.
Speaker 9Oh, these will be. Do you feel like you're going to burp? I don't know.
Speaker 6That's how I feel when I play beer pong anymore.
Speaker 10It just comes out without warning.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 9God.
Speaker 5You need to go get your voice box checked what a wheeze.
Speaker 9Oh my God.
Speaker 5Good night.
Speaker 9God that hurt.
Speaker 13It's a good tactic for us to do this stuff because, as they don't realize, we're training at the same time we're doing this.
Speaker 9Oh, okay.
Speaker 13We're training at the same time. So everything that I'm teaching these guys is literally training, but also it's fun stuff. Coming up is literally a ghost tour, Literally. Right now I'm working my best to get myself a vehicle so we can go to Gettysburg. Once we're in Gettysburg, I'm going to talk to the police department to see if I can get into a hotel. There is a rumor about seeing that it's haunted. I'm going to tell the officers that I have some special equipment.
Speaker 6I'm an ex-firefighter.
Speaker 13She's an ex-firefighter, what?
Speaker 6Firefighter, calm the fuck down. What do you mean? You fought fires.
Speaker 5Now, do you know a fireman?
Speaker 10Yeah.
Speaker 5Okay, we know firemen.
Speaker 8You've known a fireman?
Speaker 6Oh no.
Speaker 5I've done them. I have done that too. Would your first inclination seen these two? Nope, oh yeah, firefighters, absolutely, that's absolutely your firefighter, right there here's the thing it's firefighters in ma.
Speaker 1The red hair kind of reflects the fire, Fire crotches firefighters same thing.
Speaker 6Yes, yes, exactly. Oh, I like the logic, the flame retreats from the red hair.
Speaker 2It's like Gypsy Rose.
Speaker 5But, I kind of wish the fire would take care of his nipple hair situation.
Speaker 2The nipple hair is freaking me out a bit.
Speaker 10The singeing. That's like his special power.
Speaker 1It's bushy.
Speaker 5His nipples have beards.
Speaker 9It's fucking weird.
Speaker 13Why do people breathe? We're got to be explaining the rules a lot better. Normally when I'm doing training and stuff with these guys.
Speaker 6Now remember WP stands for wolf pack elite oh sure what does that mean? Elite, that's their group training. What's a wolf pack?
Speaker 5like a group of people call themselves a wolf pack because they want to sound badass and that guy right there with the hairy.
Speaker 6Hairy nips.
Speaker 5Glorious nipple hair.
Speaker 6Bush nips, bush nips, over here he's a bush nip.
Speaker 5He calls himself Alpha. No, he's the Alpha. Now they're training playing hide and go seek Nice With the ghosts.
Speaker 13With the ghosts. I normally have my keys on me. Normally. But since I'm doing a lot of running around and stuff and it's kind of the ranking kinds of dead giveaway. And the keys give a dead giveaway of where I'm going. You need to put your shirt on. I decided to take them off.
Speaker 1You need to go put a shirt on.
Speaker 5Now Agreed. I guarantee their neighbors are looking out the window going Jesus fucking Christ Fucking. Are looking out the window going Jesus fucking Christ Fucking. Wolfpack again Fucking. Evan is out there again. He tries to make him call him Alpha he says they're running by my window making noise. I hear his fucking keys, yeah, howling, and I. He says they're training and I tell them no, you're just playing.
Speaker 10I can go see hey, listen, evan is my dead name. You don't use that, never.
Speaker 2My name is alpha I don't want to put a shirt on you guys, you said you're gonna put a shirt on if we're taking a break oh, so we're taking our break now we're not taking a break. Go put a shirt on, so you'd be able to hide better look who's so dejected.
Speaker 1He's so upset that he has to put a shirt on.
Speaker 6I put a shirt on.
Speaker 9Oh shit.
Speaker 6Was that Taylor on a slide?
Speaker 9That was Ow Ow. What was that? You didn't hear her.
Speaker 5It was a whiplash. You got to hear her.
Speaker 9Listen to the little girl I was Ow Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow Ow Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow Ow Ow. You didn't hear her. It was a whiplash. You gotta hear her. Listen to Stop filming.
Speaker 1Sucks for that guy. No one cares, do it again, do it again.
Speaker 6Oh no, sipping on some scissors, I can't pay attention. Wait, wait, wait Okay.
Speaker 9Oh, dang, he's got a medical facility. Wait, wait, wait, okay. Oh God, dang, he's got a medical facility.
Speaker 1I don't know what the fuck, he did FEMA.
Speaker 10No one gives a shit.
Speaker 11Sip in on some scissors. Sip sip in on some scissors. Sip in on some scissors. Sip sip in on some scissors. Sip in on some scissors. Sip sip in on some scissors. Sip in on some scissors. Sip it no. Some sips, sip it no. Some sips, sip it no. Some sips, sip it no. Some sips, sip it no some sips, sip it.
Speaker 5no, some sips.
Speaker 11Why does his eyes do that?
Speaker 10I'm pretty sure he's drunk.
Speaker 11No, sip it no. Some sips, sip it no. Some sips, Sip it no, some sips, some niggas scared.
Speaker 1What? No, I know who this is. Is this a flownace?
Speaker 11Flownace.
Speaker 5Sounds like he did our blind karaoke yeah.
Speaker 6I was going to say I know who this is. You know that guy? No, but I know who he is deep down.
Speaker 9He has mini TikTok videos.
Speaker 11Would you just?
Speaker 5shake in your head and open it.
Speaker 11Can you sound clip that?
Speaker 5I like his version better. I gotta say no that.
Speaker 10Sizzip is supposed to be syrup.
Speaker 6That Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, I'm trying, I'm trying. Do not talk to me that way husband you invited me to be here. Thank you did you did I, did I? No, that was. That was a theater kid who's trying to be relevant with hip-hop well, he's a song.
Speaker 5He does all kinds of songs.
Speaker 6No, I'm just that particular video that's a theater kid.
Speaker 5Okay, well, let's see what Wilma and her wheelchair is going to do.
Speaker 10I like that dress. She's going to fall into something oh.
Speaker 2She got stuck, oh no.
Speaker 10She had an intimate meeting with that wall and people just kept walking by.
Speaker 1They're like no, I'm not grabbing.
Speaker 5The video's still going.
Speaker 1Man, you gotta keep the video rolling. Like bitch you're rolling. You can see the wall You're not blind.
Speaker 5Oh shit, my alignment's off. Shit, oh shit my alignment's off.
Speaker 9Shit, ah, oh no, oh.
Speaker 8Sweet.
Speaker 10Sweet, oh, oh, oh, man, you see that thing's moving, so fast.
Speaker 5They're using google translate. They're like do not turn your head to follow my finger, just your eyes.
Speaker 9Oh, yes, yeah.
Speaker 5Yes, yes Okay.
Speaker 9Hold it.
Speaker 7The other guy.
Speaker 5The other guy's walking away like.
Speaker 9Oh my.
Speaker 5God, this is great.
Speaker 13Oh, he's just happy to be there.
Speaker 6No idea.
Speaker 10No idea, he's drunk off his ass.
Speaker 6north carolina why does he have all of the buttons on his polo undone?
Speaker 10yes, he probably has no idea what the hell that thing is saying yes I understand when I'm asking you to look at the tip of my finger.
Speaker 5follow it with just your eyes and do not turn your head.
Speaker 1Yes, oh, it's juice.
Speaker 6Chinese. Oh yeah, taiwanese, yeah, yes, that's Taiwanese, yes, taiwanese.
Speaker 5One more time High five no.
Speaker 1Now, I follow your hand, I follow your hand.
Speaker 6With my hand. I follow your hand with my hand, high finger.
Speaker 5High finger. I love it when people call their pets bro.
Speaker 6Oh no, they're going to flip, they're going to flip.
Speaker 9Oh God.
Speaker 5No, they're holding on. They're good. They're good, they're pros, they're pros, they're good they're pros, they're pros.
Speaker 9Watch See Easy peasy, cool, ah, buffering.
Speaker 5Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye Woo. They're not good. I take it back.
Speaker 2Oh, no, oh, this is the good old days.
Speaker 6I had to get stitches in my tongue Once from tubing.
Speaker 9Your tongue.
Speaker 5Oh no, this is what they should have had In the Olympics, so.
Speaker 10Groovement.
Speaker 6Groovement.
Speaker 2What the fuck is this? I don't like this.
Speaker 10It's the robot he doesn't have a neck the robot.
Speaker 12He's a robot.
Speaker 6It's like a real life animatronic.
Speaker 10It's like claymation it does.
Speaker 5I could see Sawyer doing this, for sure. I think he does this.
Speaker 6hit him with that slow-mo it's a weird cosplay of Urkel oh.
Speaker 9Oh oh, five, four, three, two, one.
Speaker 6That was cool as shit.
Speaker 9Oh no, no, what happened was cool as shit. Oh no, no, what happened? What is she thinking?
Speaker 10that's a guy no, is it?
Speaker 9Listen to the voice oh, oh, no, I didn't.
Speaker 10That's a guy that is a guy.
Speaker 9Oh no.
Speaker 5Oh no.
Speaker 3Break it down.
Speaker 9Get it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, stop, oh, move it yeah.
Speaker 6Do you think your hips are moving?
Speaker 10that's my hips. He's got that belly dance going oh yeah, oh hey, related related videos oh, did it fart, did it fall oh no
Speaker 11I am the rarest thing on earth. I am the one, the only.
Speaker 1I'm a raven, of course. What in the hell was that? That's what the internet is missing.
Speaker 6That is what the internet is missing, oh, oh.
Speaker 9Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 6Oh my god, the side eye, that's so good.
Speaker 9What I hate it oh my god, I can't hey, hey. I can't say guess a lot when you fart, the fuck is happening. Mother, mother, self-judgmental.
Speaker 6That dog was embarrassed for you.
Speaker 2This is our second attempt to light an underwater fart.
Speaker 10A lot of people didn't believe the plunging hooting power of my brother here, my brother, he had to put one off without his hands.
Speaker 9Pooting, poating power. I want to hang out with him Ready Pooting power.
Speaker 2I want to hang out with him Ready Putin power.
Speaker 6Come on, he's going to shit.
Speaker 1Oh my God, Are you serious right now?
Speaker 9He shit. Oh no, we got to shock the pool.
Speaker 2Are you serious right now? God?
Speaker 5damn it, gerald. We got to shock the pool now. Shit serious right now. God damn it.
Speaker 1Gerald, we gotta shock the pool now. Shit, I squeezed out of shit. I squeezed out of shit.
Speaker 5Did you shit? I smell shit.
Speaker 2Yeah, you better shock it. Alright, this is our third attempt. Wow, just like our podcast.
Speaker 11Exactly, this is our third attempt. Wow, just like our podcast.
Speaker 5Exactly.
Speaker 11This time we're going to do it.
Speaker 2Third attempt. Him having a bottle or me having gas in my hand, so this time he's going to raise his hands up in the air. Oh, I got some single water.
Speaker 10Don't do it, officer. Top of the water here that's plamable.
Speaker 11Plamable, Jeremy. Whenever you're ready, get this thing going.
Speaker 9Don't shit.
Speaker 1Try it again. Try it again, go, try it again.
Speaker 12Oh shit.
Speaker 5Fucking Harry Potter right there $10.
Speaker 6Indian street head massage will put you to sleep oh. God.
Speaker 5What street?
Speaker 1I don't think.
Speaker 6Olive oil Looking like a beauty. Oh, that was you. I thought it was the video.
Speaker 5No, it was the video.
Speaker 2A little flippy-flappy Pop track.
Speaker 5It's great why why?
Speaker 9Don't flip my nipples. Why are we slapping the manhams?
Speaker 5Hey, dude Fucking squeezed his manham there, bro Okay.
Speaker 6Tippy tappies on the shoulder. I'm getting behind this, oh.
Speaker 5Okay, okay, tippy-tappies on the shoulder. He's beatboxing, I'm getting behind this.
Speaker 2All right, those fingers.
Speaker 5Oh, okay, a little concussed, but let's roll with it, let's see where it goes. He's beatboxing.
Speaker 10Are you supposed to?
Speaker 5go to sleep yeah are you? Supposed to go to sleep to this?
Speaker 6Yeah, I think with a concussion.
Speaker 10By the end of it he's going to be unconscious.
Speaker 9I'm going to try this on Friend Boy later.
Speaker 2Yeah, do this on Friend Boy. I am going to try this I learned this on TikTok.
Speaker 5Make sure you do this, oh yeah.
Speaker 2He has nice titties though.
Speaker 10He does. Grab the manhams, mm-hmm, grab the manhams he has manhams.
Speaker 2He has like taut pecs.
Speaker 6Taut man. He has like pecs hot, pecs hot hot for an old guy. Stop flicking his head. Oh, god damn. Oh, we're jamming. Is this in a rave?
Speaker 9god, you know this, you know they both smell bad.
Speaker 1Oh, they do like cheese, I do Like cheese, goat cheese. Is he asleep?
Speaker 10I think he is. He's just gone, I mean.
Speaker 5Just wondering what streak they were on.
Speaker 2I do like my hair clinker. This song I wrote called Fuck this Job. I Wanna Go Home.
Speaker 12I feel, that, that's it.
Speaker 1Oh, we already heard balls.
Speaker 6Hey, we already know this boy Fuckin' boy.
Speaker 12No ball pops again. No ball pops again, woohoo.
Speaker 9Woohoo, oh no, oh no, hit the brakes. Hi Dad, there he goes.
Speaker 5And he doesn't come back up. He's like I'm done.
Speaker 3I'm fucking Don't trip on the kayak Got it.
Speaker 9Don't trip on the kayak.
Speaker 5Got it.
Speaker 11Whoa, I told you don't trip on that, okay.
Speaker 1No hablar ingles. He takes a photo.
Speaker 5You see the flash go off? He's like I'm going in. That's me later. Oh, some more farts.
Speaker 6Shit, the fuck Ew.
Speaker 9Oh God, they have the same look. What the hell.
Speaker 5He looks at the cat he's like. I have no idea, bro.
Speaker 9We saw that one, the dog, hates it. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 5Make me tear this toy up.
Speaker 9What was that Ah?
Speaker 6Oh yeah, what was that? That's why Shane wants a bird. What was that?
Speaker 9That's why Shane wants a bird. What was that? Oh?
Speaker 6You, you, fucker, fuck you bud.
Speaker 5Good cat, good cat.
Speaker 9Good kitty cat Just with it. What in?
Speaker 6the fuck He's's gonna puke in your shoe oh, oh, oh oh, snowman do you have a dildo?
Speaker 3what a dildo you don't know what a dildo it's bad. Don't you understand it's bad.
Speaker 9It's bad. Wait, it's bad. I think it's bad. You know what it?
Speaker 3is what is it?
Speaker 2I don't know.
Speaker 9Are you hiding it? I'm asking what is it? I don't know. Okay, shut up. Okay. Okay, I'm going to find out. Okay.
Speaker 7Mom, do you have a STD?
Speaker 11What STD?
Speaker 7You don't know what a STD is, they ask if you have a STD.
Speaker 2What does STD mean? I don't know what it means.
Speaker 7Let's look up the definition A sexual transmitted disease, std. So it's like herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, aids, hiv.
Speaker 11Man, why do I have to answer that question?
Speaker 7So her answer is yes. No.
Speaker 3No man, I don't know what a dildo is. I don't know what a dildo is, oh no.
Speaker 5They are the children of the community.
Speaker 9I'm a dildo.
Speaker 8This is great. When we talk about the children of the community, they are the children of the community.
Speaker 9Interesting. This is an aspen.
Speaker 13You can tell that it's an aspen tree because of the way it is.
Speaker 5This is our dad coming up on the bike. Dude, that's a nice bike dude. Yeah, it's a drop foot Get it, get it.
Speaker 10He was blown away by the awesome he was.
Speaker 9Oh my God, I'm going to record because I don't know what's about to happen. But I'm leaving this guy's house and the whole time he was shish kabobing it from the back. I felt like I was going to shit, lay an egg or something. Shish kabobing it from the back. I felt like I was going to shit, lay an egg or something I got to get the fuck out of here, hey, Lily is that you Shish kabobing?
Speaker 6Oh no, this is me. I don't even know the video but I know it's me.
Speaker 9Oh no, uh. Oh, they know a trick. Oh shit no.
Speaker 6Absolutely not.
Speaker 5I hope they didn't need a funnel cake before that. Oh, it's kinda slowing, slowing down. It's slowing down. Nope, that shit picked up oh he's screwed.
Speaker 10He is screwed.
Speaker 12He is screwed, oh my god.
Speaker 1He can't stop. Where is that? He is so screwed?
Speaker 12Yeah, I would throw up.
Speaker 9Yeah, you call him. I'm calling the sheriff's department. I just got assaulted by his old phone. There you go, oh no.
Speaker 2What did he do? Piss on the mark.
Speaker 13Oh, no, I might have a few quirks, but at least my feet don't sting.
Speaker 9Yes, sir, what the fuck Godzilla Stop.
Speaker 6Don't touch me there. This is my no-no. Square Speaking of social media before Vine. Stop, don't touch me there. This is my no before Vine. Wow, I remember that. That's worse, oh.
Speaker 9It was the other one Damn. I don't know why. It was the other horse Damn. I don't know why he was so smooth. It's crazy, did he?
Speaker 6look like.
Speaker 1Good God, he's got a back, fart you good, I love a happy horse, no, I love a happy horn.
Speaker 10No, I like how they just have to lift their tail out of the way. Horses don't even care?
Speaker 9Oh, it kicks it at you.
Speaker 11With a kick.
Speaker 6He waited until he got to the camera. Oh my god.
Speaker 5Makes me wonder if that's a wild defense mechanism.
Speaker 6That's kind of how I kick mine out, it's true.
Speaker 2Don't you ever tell my baby.
Speaker 5Don't you ever oh my god, that's not what I thought you ever tell my baby? No, you have.
Speaker 10Oh my God, that's not what I thought it was going to be. And now he's gone.
Speaker 9What is happening to? Her right now. Put her shirt down, lady, hold on.
Speaker 5He says here's the kitchen, bedroom, living room all in one space, and then dog food just everywhere.
Speaker 6Oh, that is the bedroom.
Speaker 5I thought that was the couch and look, they even have the food bowl is not in the little stand. Yeah, it's just out. If you just put it there, this is what it's there for, okay, west Virginia.
Speaker 9What did you think was gonna happen?
Speaker 6Skippy, oh, she has boots on Her boots.
Speaker 12Sean you alright in there. I just gave birth Carl.
Speaker 9God damn Guys trip.
Speaker 12You know, you got that last little clanker that won't let go like an ugly bird who won't stop texting. Kind of exactly the same. My finger just went through the top of my bird.
Speaker 5You bust me at my parents' house. You want to see something that's nuts, that's nuts, jesus Christ, them ain't nuts, them are balls. Those are nuts. My ears, those are balls Damn.
Speaker 7Oh God.
Speaker 6Oh, no, you're running too fast when?
Speaker 9are you going so fast? You gonna go shit? Great Okay. How did you spell lightning? How did you spell lightning Lightly, lightly.
Speaker 3Lightling.
Speaker 11L-I-G-H-T-L-I-N-G.
Speaker 3Lightling, lightling, lightling.
Speaker 1L-I-G-H-T-L-I-N-G.
Speaker 3Lightling. What's Lightling, lightling, lightling, yeah, the what. Where'd you get the second?
Speaker 5one from yeah.
Speaker 9Makes sense.
Speaker 5Lightling.
Speaker 3Lightling.
Speaker 1Ooh, what Lightling, lightling, Lightling, lightling.
Speaker 3Lightling. Lightning what?
Speaker 2Lightning.
Speaker 3Lightning, lightning.
Speaker 12Lightning, lightning, okay, lightning.
Speaker 5Lightning.
Speaker 2I'm so sure Lightning, oh my God.
Speaker 1Cool George stuff.
Speaker 3I know it's kind of mean what, what.
Speaker 7It's lightning, lightning.
Speaker 6Mean.
Speaker 5Lightning. You're wrong. I've been saying it Lightning.
Speaker 9Lightning, lightning. You're wrong, I've been saying it.
Speaker 11Lightning.
Speaker 9Lightning.
Speaker 10I'm not the only one, sorry, buddy Hear it.
Speaker 1It says lightning, it's lightning, lightning.
Speaker 3Google it no lightning, alexa. How do you spell lightning?
Speaker 9Lightning is spelled. L-i-g-g-g-n-i oh, he's like I'm out Lightning, lightning. Oh my God, that was dramatic. Oh my god, that was dramatic. Ah, oh shit, jesus Christ.
Speaker 8You might have to get over here, this shouldn't scare your wife.
Speaker 11What you doing. What you doing.
Speaker 6I hate getting scared put your moves away. No, oh my god, he thinks they're moving a whole lot more Look in my eyes.
Speaker 12What do you see? The cult of personality. Oh, shit.
Speaker 9I know your anger, I know your dreams.
Speaker 5I've been everything you want to be.
Speaker 11Oh, I'm the cult of personality.
Speaker 9Kent's outside again, like Mussolini and Kennedy.
Speaker 12I'm the cult of personality.
Speaker 11The cult of personality.
Speaker 5You have the power not to post this.
Speaker 3He thought this is fucking badass.
Speaker 9He was like shit, I'm going to get so much puss with this.
Speaker 6I trust my mind. Yeah, no, you shouldn't I trust you.
Speaker 5You shouldn't do that. Of course, I got it.
Speaker 6Oops, absolutely not oh my god, what is that mullet?
Speaker 9Oh, no, oh, In the butthole, no.
Speaker 10Right in his balls, directly on his ballsack.
Speaker 9Oh, oh, god God.
Speaker 1He ain't having kids.
Speaker 12It didn't do anything. It hit my damn nut, sack it hit my nut sack.
Speaker 1That's not what I was aiming for. It went. It's not what I was aiming for it went between the cheeks and entered my nut sack.
Speaker 3It went between my cheeks, between the cheeks.
Speaker 9It entered my nut sack.
Speaker 2Oh my god, he was so calm too, woo.
Speaker 10Before the next one, Shane, I'm afraid I'm going to have to get out of here, okay, no, no, brian's got a long drive back he sure does. Well, Brian, we welcome you we thank you, thank you guys, this was fun.
Speaker 6Hell, yeah, this was a good episode. Yeah, this was a lot of fun Hallelujah.
Speaker 5And we'll finish our talks out after Brian is.
Speaker 10After I've exited the building. Yes, after you've departed, after he's departed.
Speaker 6Departed.
Speaker 10The departed.
Speaker 6What is your parting words?
Speaker 5of wisdom. Parting words of Farting words of wisdom, farting words of wisdom.
Speaker 10Yes, let me get you in the mood, flatulate long and flatulate with much joy.
Speaker 9That's the best. I'm putting that on a fucking t-shirt.
Speaker 5I should have went like so say it again.
Speaker 10Yes. Flatulate long and with much joy brian's been the best.
Speaker 6Oh wait, can you? Can you tell the banana boy? Oh?
Speaker 10oh, can we talk? About banana boy before you yeah, interesting about that is we have a scene in, uh, the meat man which is coming up.
Speaker 10Uh, probably, 2025, maybe, but um, we're in the grocery store no hardware store we're in the hardware store and we're uh collecting um different types of knickknacks and whatnot for uh, our scene. And uh, towards the end of it, after I have my confrontation with a uh couple, I uh go off into the corner and then shane here my brother, who's uh go off into the corner and then shane here my brother, who's uh um terrible, yeah, his character's name is derrick and my character's name is denny.
Speaker 10So denny derrick says to denny like uh, so okay, so we have this, this and this. Is there anything we're forgetting? And then, uh, my character looks at him and says bananas. And then he says we're in a hardware store. Where the hell are you going to find bananas?
Speaker 1What the hell are you thinking?
Speaker 5And then On set that night.
Speaker 6On set that night I got. I was lucky enough to be an extra, and so we pretty much stayed in character. Brian as Denny.
Speaker 10Yeah, trying to freak people out as much as I can.
Speaker 6Just in this same character. That is super fucking creepy. He comes over to me and I'm holding a basket and he says do you have any bananas? And I said no, but I think across the street they do, because there was a sonic. And he said will you go get me one, oh? And I said no, I don't have any money. And he looks down at my basket of things and he looks at me and I said, oh, I'm stealing this. And he gives me a fist bump and he said, right on, that was my favorite, so that's why he is Brian.
Speaker 5Banana Boy, they bonded breaking the law.
Speaker 13Yeah, we did.
Speaker 5Okay, we're going to take a little break real quick.
Speaker 1We didn't talk about Meat man, though. Yes, yes, should we do our plug for the meat man Please?
Speaker 5do. Sure, let's hold that, actually, let me do. The Meat man Let me get back on the wide shot here, here we go.
Speaker 6The Meat man. Oh yeah, oh, that's different.
Speaker 2The Meat man, the Meat man.
Speaker 6The Meat man is a porn.
Speaker 5I think on Facebook the Meat man Dash Film is the new Facebook page you can follow, like and the trailer is going to drop sometime in December, september.
Speaker 10Yeah.
Speaker 5Yeah, not December.
Speaker 10September. It'll be in the next couple of weeks.
Speaker 6What? Hells yeah, hells, yeah, there we go, cool-ass movie.
Speaker 5Thanks again, Brian. Thank you guys. It's been fun and we are back Now. We're back Now we're back. Taylor, of course, is in the bathroom. We'll restart this one, We'll get through our talks and then we got a special group of TikTok bachelors. Oh yeah, it's going to be a doozy. It's gonna be a doozy.
Speaker 2It's gonna be a doozy.
Speaker 5And I hear you have a little date later, huh, oh my God, y'all going to the fair, oh my God, can we do a double date?
Speaker 6Oh my God, maybe.
Speaker 13Yeah, oh, my God.
Speaker 6Maybe it's a triple date with.
Speaker 13Hunter and.
Speaker 6Jordan oh my God, let Hunter meet friend boy. Oh my God, I'm scared. All right, here we go. Are you recording?
Speaker 5Yes, are you sure it's recording?
Speaker 9Here we go Watch this Hmm, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha this is what y'all do later. We're going dancing.
Speaker 5Hope uh.
Speaker 11Hope he's ready for this.
Speaker 6I like her. She's funny. Mm, mm, mm.
Speaker 7Oh man, you sync with the.
Speaker 13Titanic Sync.
Speaker 2We're the three best friends that anybody can have.
Speaker 10I wanted to make fun of this one, but I don't want to interrupt her pole dancing class.
Speaker 9Piece of shit.
Speaker 13Alex thinks he's the bad guy in Terminator 2. Look, some little cockroach has a panic room.
Speaker 9Piece of shit, piece of shit.
Speaker 6Oh no panic room. That guy, no cool mastia, needs to stay by himself one of us is french and one of us is fried.
Speaker 7I'll give you a hint I'm not French. Yeah, dog.
Speaker 9Yeah, dog.
Speaker 11Yeah dog.
Speaker 8Oh no.
Speaker 9No, oh God, why it's in there, oh god why, in there see moving like that stop no
Speaker 6he did that for the camera right Like that wasn't real.
Speaker 5People grow old. Explain it please the fuck was that?
Speaker 3Was he joking?
Speaker 13If so not funny.
Speaker 11Not funny.
Speaker 13If not joking, not funny. I don't know how we survived without doorbell cameras. What the hell, hell, amazon delivering packages and pink eye directly to your doorstep that guy's eyes are so pretty, right damn oh, oh.
Speaker 8Why did that whole set fell?
Speaker 2Oh God, Horses are so farty.
Speaker 6Oh God.
Speaker 8So good, roll around about it there.
Speaker 5Uh oh. That's serious.
Speaker 2No Shit pile on your arm Really.
Speaker 5No, god Wish this baby would come. Really no God.
Speaker 9Wish this baby would come.
Speaker 7It's like when you're in the bathtub.
Speaker 8I'll speak to you. How to capture a pure untainted fart.
Speaker 5You're going to want to fill a bathtub and get a fart receptacle. You're going to want to get your cup and you're going to want to fill it up with water.
Speaker 3I love to fart. You will notice that it is filling up with water all the way in the jar.
Speaker 5Now, when you fart towards the surface, the air will travel up and end up in the top of the jar here, let's try it out.
Speaker 7It's a really good science lesson.
Speaker 5As you can see, the top of this jar has a little bit of air in it, but it's not air.
Speaker 8Now submerge the cup again and screw the lid on.
Speaker 3Once you take it out of the water, you'll notice there's a little bubble in it. You know what that is.
Speaker 1Thought the final step is to bring this to a friend and have them sniff it oh no, bro, I love science.
Speaker 4Thought I'd break it down a little bit while I'm here, all right oh.
Speaker 6Yeah, break it down with your wobbly knees. Break it down with your Parkinson's. San Francisco bread Thought I'd break it down with your parkinson's san francisco bread thought I'd break it down what oh, I hate that. This is shane, god, I hate that. Yes, well, don't go in your butthole, you got to go in your butthole.
Speaker 9Wow, okay, she's so funny shelly billy the autopsy report when he got done with you.
Speaker 2That's right there. That unalive in a minute, okay, okay all that I don't know what he's trying to do. He is not gonna get somebody like that. I'm gonna tell you something that'd be over, like two seconds uh, that'd be two seconds me saying get the hell off me, I don't want to do that man, I'm not mad at it. But I'm gonna tell you something. I bet he's an olympian gold champion of the poontang record team poontang record right there. She's too much keep.
Speaker 6Keep it, I love her.
Speaker 7Oh, ooh, ooh, oh, you know what you're doing.
Speaker 9Appreciate it. That's the best.
Speaker 6Parkour, parkour, Hardcore parkour. Oh God, yes.
Speaker 5Softcore.
Speaker 11Introducing the Jewel Cooler Hell yeah, just pop it on top of your vent.
Speaker 6No.
Speaker 12And insert it next to your jewels.
Speaker 6Turn up the AC and enjoy a cool ride. Jewel cooler, I mean I can get that your jewels will be happy about this bot tiktok shop yes, all right
Speaker 4one of us is a freshly baked, very flat banana bread and the other one is very freshly baked. Who baked the very flat?
Speaker 9banana bread. Who is that? Yeah?
Speaker 6Guess yeah, dog.
Speaker 5Yeah guess All righty, then what's next? What's next you?
Speaker 8ask, I'll tell you that yes.
Speaker 13Good morning Julia.
Speaker 2Julia.
Speaker 9That's my fucking coochie that's hanging out. I'm a guy. She got a big beaver.
Speaker 6She got a big beaver.
Speaker 5All right, here we go. Special collection oh. This is the kind of kick a song get us in the mood, oh, I wanna get it in my mouth.
Speaker 7I wanna get it in my mouth.
Speaker 9Oh, I wanna suck on your fat ass mouth, gotta suck on that ass, baby.
Speaker 3I gotta suck on that ass. Yo, I'm talking. Yo, I'm gonna spread the ass apart. Get my tongue in your ass. Eating on your ass Yo, I'm eating on your. Eating on your eating on your ass. I'm eating on your motherfucking ass.
Speaker 9I wanna see it. Baby, give me your ass, I'm eating on your motherfucking ass.
Speaker 6I want to see you Get it. That's hilarious.
Speaker 8Oops, you caught me cleaning my skates. Yes, teeth guy Doing about a date with you. Talk to her. Maybe we can meet up at Skate Land. I could introduce you to all the staff. I'm kind of a big deal up there. He's a big deal.
Speaker 6Why do his?
Speaker 8teeth stay together, we can play some skates and flirtatiously chase each other around their means. When we do traffic, catch me, if you can. And then, of course, when the timing is right and the music shifts to 90s R&B, then we could clasp each other's hands. Clasp, I don't have to leave the floor for a couple skate. Finally, maybe we could finish off the night at the snack bar Sipping on some slushies.
Speaker 6With sour straws.
Speaker 8That sounds interesting to you. It does sound interesting.
Speaker 9Let me know, let me know, blessings, blessings. Oh my Pugsley.
Speaker 5You like October time, I do like spooky. This is Pugsley you like October time.
Speaker 6I do like spooky. This is Pugsley for sure, putting on the reds.
Speaker 9I'm into it, super duper.
Speaker 11Come, let's mix. We're Rockefellers Walk with sticks. We're Umbrellas in the mix.
Speaker 6Putting on the ritz. How dare you.
Speaker 9I like it. I'm a simple person.
Speaker 11All I want is a cheeseburger sandwich and a girlfriend that won't punch me in the eyeball if I fart and accidentally shit in the bed.
Speaker 3That's all I want. That's all he wants, that's it Cheeseburger meal.
Speaker 6No, a cheeseburger simmich.
Speaker 8And lame fart and poop in the bed If you like a guy who has hemorrhoids, I'm your man.
Speaker 2Why does he look like a fucking alien? He looks like an alien too, god damn.
Speaker 6Is it the same guy? Super fucking alien. He looks like an alien too. God damn. Is it the same guy? Super fucking ugly. Look at me, get these balloons. Look at that.
Speaker 5Isn't that a paper clip? Is that a rubber band? It can protect you. How about these guys?
Speaker 9Oh, is that, elvis? I do like the boots Could be your gang bang, gang bang bang, gang bang bang. Oh yeah, terry Paul, what did they?
Speaker 6do now? Are you guys scissoring? I don't know where the dildo went. I didn't know nothing, though. Is that Rufio? Oh yeah, oh, it's Japanese grease. Is this japanese interpretation of rockabilly?
Speaker 9Yep, elvis, I'm doing this tonight. Oh no, you're probably going to start a fight. I know it can't be right, hey baby, come on, I love you endlessly. You weren't there for me. So now it's time to leave and make it cold. I know that I can't take no more. It ain't no lie. I wanna see you walk out the door and say bye-bye-bye-bye-bye, I don't wanna be a fool for you. Just a nugget and a two Cause you could be cute, but he ruined it.
Speaker 6This message is to Cody Silker no, he doesn't know the dance. He's not allowed.
Speaker 2He almost could be cute but he ruined it this message is to Cody.
Speaker 9Silker.
Speaker 8And if you're not, him, just keep on strolling.
Speaker 5I challenge you. Yes, you Cody.
Speaker 8Silker to a mullet shake-off.
Speaker 6I'm so excited right now. Yes, Beautiful.
Speaker 5I'm just imagining the long hair you come until the end of this week.
Speaker 2Do it, Cody Do it, it's talent.
Speaker 5Look at this.
Speaker 6He knows how to use his hand and his tongue at the same time.
Speaker 5Both hands.
Speaker 9Yeah, but Gross this. But like, look at him, he knows how to use his hand and his tongue at the same time. Both hands gross, so gross he's in it don't look at me I'm not gonna fast forward, don't look
Speaker 6at me, don't look at me when you're using your tongue. All right tongue in your finger nose flute. Don't do it mean, when you're using your tongue, all right, tongue in your finger. Nose flute, don't do it. Oh so he knows how to use his nose and his tongue. Look at him with his jester hat. So hot, oh yes I love this guy, new york. Look at his coattails.
Speaker 5Great song right now I hate to tell you but you don't have to fill in the dead space dude Okay.
Speaker 11Let's get out of here. It's Trump, it's Trump, trump.
Speaker 5It's huge.
Speaker 6It's Trump. It's huge, it's huge. It's the best city in the world. No, wow, wow.
Speaker 7Is he in his bedroom?
Speaker 9Yeah.
Speaker 6He only sleeps with a sheet. It's a king-size sheet on a full bed.
Speaker 5It's the only room his mom lets him still have, so he's got to put everything in there.
Speaker 2Oh yuck.
Speaker 5Ooh, another guy that can probably protect. Ooh, oh, my God, how are you missing this guy? Watch, you see a guy move that fast. It's magic.
Speaker 8Uh-uh.
Speaker 5No, guys will be fucking with you. Oh he's back.
Speaker 6Yes, balloon man.
Speaker 2Fucking staple.
Speaker 5Oh look, oh combo, uh-uh, he's your protector. Where?
Speaker 7is he at Like a fucking water.
Speaker 5Oh, this guy.
Speaker 11A cold bear's got 12 ounces, does it truck's got maybe 300,000.
Speaker 3You only get so much there are sales in a mag life a needle drop on a 45, all the kind of things that only last so long.
Speaker 11Is that grown-up, tommy Pickles?
Speaker 2Yes, it is yes.
Speaker 9Yes, they say nothing lasts forever, but they ain't seen us together or the way the moonlight dances in the night.
Speaker 2Nice, it's like me singing. How dare?
Speaker 9you, sir, you turn so red. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6Look at his jumping skills. Whoa he's so fast yeah, oh shit, oh I was hoping he was pulling out an inhaler.
Speaker 2Oh my God, what is wrong with people? Hey, is Winky man here Ken.
Speaker 6Hmm, no, he Winky man here.
Speaker 5Ken.
Speaker 6Hmm.
Speaker 5No, he didn't want to submit. So can Friend Boy do all that stuff. Yeah, can he climb a tree, can he jump an office chair seat in a pasture.
Speaker 6Yeah, when he's fully healed from his e-bikes incident.
Speaker 2I'm not going to believe he can do anything. He can do anything. He can jump over a couch.
Speaker 6Oh, my god okay leap over a dog can he use his hand and his tongue and his nose all at the same time?
Speaker 5I yeah, I have. I have a special request, lauren. Why is this like this? What? Stop looking at porn Shane From Brian Grace Pull up, pull up, oh god.
Speaker 6Oh, my god, oh no, is this his?
Speaker 7video oh my God, oh no.
Speaker 9That's great. This is his video.
Speaker 1Oh God, already over it. Yes, I've got a series of questions that I've decided to be nice enough to answer and share my wisdom with y'all because, let's face it, you need it. Got my daily water here to keep me hydrated, whatever that means. All right, let's get this over with. Do these jeans make my butt look big bet? If you need to ask, you already know the answer, wasting my time, oh fatty. What is your ideal mate? Yeah right, how about none? Ugh nasty, I ain't got time for that. You better not get used to what you see here, because you ain't having none of it Over that question. Next, how would you describe yourself yourself?
Speaker 1Bet If you could donate one million dollars to any charity, what would that charity be and why? I'll take a check and you'll never see my ass again. Do you believe in ghosts? If these eyes can't see it, I ain't got time for it. Therefore, I'm over it. What would you say? Your dream date would be Buy me a drink and get the hell out. Ooh Sassy, what is something that everyone looks stupid doing Watching this video? Well, there you have it. I hope you feel a little bit smarter now listening to me. What am I saying? Of course you do. If you liked it, make sure you hit that like button right here or don't?
Speaker 1I don't give a shit, but I have to wonder why you watched the whole video. Ugh creeper. Be sure to ask more questions in the comments section below or follow me on Twitter at thequeenofratchet ratchet and send in questions there.
Speaker 5Hashtag over it oh my god, I can't believe we had that psycho in our house.
Speaker 6He's like a new, updated buffalo bill yeah buffalo bill boy, put the lotion on your skin okay. Yeah, fucking weirdo. All right, all right, wow.
Speaker 5What an episode. This was a good one. What a good episode back.
Speaker 6This is a funny one.
Speaker 5Feels good. Feels good after the tech problems. I don't know.
Speaker 6Hey, spooky season starts tomorrow. What do you want to do?
Speaker 5Spooky season starts tomorrow.
Speaker 6Well, we need to do a. Halloween podcast, or a spooky one.
Speaker 8Are you having a Halloween party? We got to dress up. We'll see. The answer is yes.
Speaker 5We need to do an episode where we all dress up.
Speaker 2Nobody likes to partake anymore Halloween parties.
Speaker 1I do.
Speaker 2People are just like nah, I'm okay Lame, Everybody I hang out with anyway is lame.
Speaker 8We'll see Maybe.
Speaker 6I just want to do spooky things. I want to do spooky things. What's?
Speaker 2up. I want to go to the haunted house too.
Speaker 6No, I don't like those.
Speaker 8She won't do that I hate them.
Speaker 5They scare me, she won't do the fun stuff.
Speaker 8Why is it scary?
Speaker 2Excuse me.
Speaker 5Excuse me so scary. How are you so scary?
Speaker 6Maybe I'll do it if I am medicated properly.
Speaker 2Okay, all right, it's just people that are like.
Speaker 5Prozac.
Speaker 2Yeah, don't have a real job, so they scare people. Yeah, perfect.
Speaker 5Well.
Speaker 1It's not real people.
Speaker 5It's great to be back.
Speaker 9Bye.
Speaker 5Hope you guys like subscribe like subscribe below yeah, do it, just fucking do it yeah ciao, baby ciao.
Speaker 3Let me introduce you all to Shane Hargis. Okc, yeah, we got to rep that. Sit back, I know that you're going to have a good laugh, bringing you the comedy that you really need. Keep it entertaining, you better believe. So let's get it popping. No more talk Going to make us laugh until we fart.
Speaker 4Shane Hargis that's who we want Going to make us laugh until we fart. Shane Hargis, that's who we want. Gonna make us laugh until we fought.
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