Gaming The System - The Feminist Gaming Podcast

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• Gaming The System - The Feminist Gaming Podcast

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In this episode, we dive into the joys and challenges of gaming in person. From the thrill of collaborative board games like Pandemic Legacy to the immersive world of Warhammer 40K and the rise of welcoming board game cafés, we explore how playing together face-to-face builds connections, sparks conversation, and helps us find community.

What We Talk About

  • Pandemic Legacy Season 2: how it transforms a family game night into a year-long storytelling journey.
  • The tactical and social layers of cooperative gaming, don't forget the snacks! 
  • Warhammer 40K: lore and learning curves in the tabletop world.
  • Video gaming versus in-person board gaming: comfort zones, social anxiety, and unexpected rewards.
  • Board game cafés like Wayfarers Rest as community hubs where strangers become friends.
  • Why gaming socially can be both a challenging and rewarding way to connect.

Key Takeaway
Gaming socially isn’t just about dice rolls, minis, or rules—it’s about conversation, connection, and community. Whether around a kitchen table or at a café, games create space for us to share stories, strengthen relationships, and meet new people.

Next time: we’ll look deeper into the role of board game cafés as community hubs and what we want them to become in the future.


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Speaker:

Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Gaming the System, the podcast where three intersectional feminists examine gaming and games through a feminist lens. Today, I'm your host, Alex, and I'm joined by my friends, gem and Matt, before we get started, if you want to support us, you can subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/gaming the system for some exclusive content. Or you can send us a one-off donation via PayPal to our email address. We are gaming the system@gmail.com.

Alex:

Hello and welcome. We are here for another episode of Gaming the System, and we are going to talk about the benefits of gaming socially. in a previous episode, we had a discussion about co-op games and how popular those are within gaming and how we find them as gamers. Leading on from that, I was inspired to think about. Gaming in person and gaming with friends and family and cooperative gaming in the physical sense in physical spaces, or indeed, perhaps over online, platforms as well, but primarily in physical spaces. I started in the pandemic where we couldn't really get together and spend a lot of time in person. Time has moved on and even though COVID is still part of our lives, it is safer to spend time in person. I kind of wanted to reflect on. How can gaming spaces essentially be a force for good and help us bring together and connect as part of our communities? So without further ado, I'm gonna crack on and with the first question. And I want to know about your recent experiences of gaming in person with other people. This could be people you know, people you don't know, just physical in person gaming. So I open up floor to you.

Jem (3):

I've been playing. Pandemic Legacy season two with, my mom and my husband Daniel. We played season one, two years ago, we just realized that we've basically been playing this for a year now. I think I got it for Christmas, 2020. Three, four.

Alex:

wow.

Jem (3):

So, and then we started playing it in the August that year. And so we've sort of run, run one year round and a really fun game to play because, you might have come across pandemic the game, where you are trying to protect the world from, a spreading virus. It all became a bit close for comfort in 2020. But it's a really fun game. Rather than playing against each other, you are playing collaboratively. All the players are working together to beat the virus and beat the spread of the virus. And you do that by having. Different, characters that you can play. And those characters have different skills. Some might be able to move other people around on the board. Other people might be able to, get rid of the virus, so you all have different skills each time you play the game, it's a different set of, cards that come up. So it's a different set of viruses that get spread and how that happens. And you can play it with different amounts of people. You can play it with just two or you can even play it on your own, although you normally have to play multiple characters. And I think you can play it up to six or. Eight, players. So, that's the standard one. But the legacy is one where you play a different game each month. So every month you have two cracks, doing, beating the month. So you have, you have the first half and the second half of the month. If you lose, you don't lose the game. It changes what happens next. Usually losing is a good thing because they give you more stuff to make it easier as you go forward. What's really fun about it is that it is a changing game. You stick things on the board. You, you tear up cards, you stick things on cards, you make choices about bonuses or, negative attributes that your characters might have depending on things that happen. There's a storyline that runs along with this. So they update you with little story cards about what's happening this month. As the game goes on, you learn about where the virus came from and what's happened. You can choose whichever characters you play. You can change them up every game, or we tend to play the same ones because then we know what we can do with them. And because it's collaborative, you have to work together. You have to talk to each other about what you're gonna do. But you tend to do a lot of, um, tactics. So we find that actually setting up the game. taking down the game, is as much a part of the game as actually playing through that month. It probably takes at least as much time, but it is also tactical because it's that stage that you're thinking about what. Do we want to do? Where do we wanna put these things? What benefits do we wanna get if we've won the round and so it's really kind of thoughtful, tactical game and there's a big element of, randomness in there as well. So it's a lot of fun to play and it's a lot of fun to play in person. It's one of these games that I would not want to play. Remotely. I wouldn't want to play it on board game arena, or I wouldn't wanna play a computer game version of it because it's because it is about sitting around a table, having a discussion, eating lots of crisps, drinking, lots of tea or wine, we normally drink Prosecco. It depends how early in the game we start drinking Prosecco as to how successful our game is. It's interesting it's the first sort of proper game that I've really with my mum that hasn't been sort of family games like Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit or whatever. So it is quite nice. To play that with her. It's a good three hour session where you sit around chat and sometimes argue, I think it's a really good thing for communication skills.

Matt:

Is there a doomsday cult faction in the pandemic game that one of you can be trying to spread the viruses as much as possible?

Jem (3):

No, but there is, there, there are other factions that work against you. They're very different. Season one is very much the same as the normal board game. Season two is extremely complicated. We're over halfway through and we have. sorts of things. And you have to remember all of the stuff that you could possibly do. We got to the end of one of the. Sessions and we were like, we haven't even, we've completely forgotten about a whole thing we were supposed to be doing because we were so focused on the other things. So it is quite complicated and, but what the other thing that's nice about it is that can, long as everyone's happy with it, is bring in other people. So, we had some friends over so my mum dropped out and they came in, we played it with four of us instead of three. If you had a regular games night, you could probably play the game with whoever was available. So it's a very versatile game, I think as far as In-person collaborative gaming goes.

Matt:

I don't do much board gaming these days, but I'm not adverse to finding a situation where I get to try it a bit more. Normally I'll be gaming with my mom and my sister, and they always game together and it's just hilarious fun watching them play. Occasionally I'll. Play as well if they get stuck on a bit and I'll get a text when I'm in my room going, Matt, please come and help. It is very fun. And probably the most fun I've had actually being involved was playing the dark pictures games,

Alex (2):

Nice.

Matt:

House of Ashes and Little Hope, et cetera. Was great. It's just wonderful fun watching those two play. They've got such hilarious chemistry, so it's always entertaining to watch. The thing I'm still gradually trying to get my way into is playing War Hammer 40 K. I've had two sessions where I've played two little games that was fun savoring that, enjoying that while I build up my little army of plague Marines

Alex (2):

Ah,

Matt:

is my latest

Alex (2):

It's looking good.

Matt:

people listening won't be able to see it, but it is typhus the herald of the plague and he's the one responsible for the deification of the death guard and his betrayed his Primark, which I didn't realize. It's all very dramatic and I love the massive universe of law behind these tiny little figures. It's not just about. What a unit's skill is or what its power is and what it can do. You can approach every battle going, right. What would the Pestilential Horde do at this point? Would they sit on an objective and camp there to gain more points, or would they ooze towards their

Alex (2):

Yeah.

Matt:

nearest opponent and pour dread onto them? Depending on the person you're playing with, you can have a narrative around every battle. I had a conversation with Chris, who we had on recently and he said that the first thing he does in any battle is to go, okay, where are we fighting? Why are we fighting? That's the way to do it, to create a scenario so that the game feels more. Dramatic and compelling I've watched tons of YouTube channels of battle reports and people playing and it's just looks like fun

Alex (2):

Hmm.

Matt:

It's quite a complicated thing, but there are so many good YouTube channels and. Videos to help you prepare to play. Because the worst part for me and I imagine for most people is learning how to play. Learning isn't the fun part. Playing the game is the fun part. And so. Like the ways in which you can cut that learning curve down to as small as possible. So you get up to speed really quickly, and then you're immediately able to go in and play

Alex (2):

Hmm.

Matt:

I just think that's a big barrier because board gaming is completely different to video gaming. Crossing over between someone like me playing almost exclusively video games to tabletop games or board games. We really do need more environments where strangers can come together. With people who know what they're doing and then those people can play games.'cause I remember I was thinking about best ways to meet people and the best ways were at university where there were dozens of clubs and they'd go, right, we've got the committee, we've got a place come along and we'll take care of you. Those places seem to disappear once you're outside of. The university. And that's what people need. They need a place to go, show up and go, okay, we've got a six player game. We'll teach you how to play it. We'll walk you through a game. We'll have fun, we'll have a few drinks, and then we're away. I haven't got much experience in this place, but I want to find a way in it's nice to be talking about it in this scenario.

Alex (2):

It's lovely to hear about it as well. I remember how excited you were at how enjoyable you found going in,'cause you were quite nervous. Going in for the first time to play War Hammer.

Matt:

Hmm.

Alex (2):

It is really lovely to hear that there is a place you can go to, and experience. In-person gaming, it is a bit of a learning curve for people who've been solely a video gamers for much of their gaming lives. I will talk about my recent experience of in-person gaming, touching on the points you made, Matt, about having an environment that makes you feel welcome, that you can go into without knowing much about the games on offer and feel like it's okay to be here because I've come to learn and have a fun time. One of the catalysts for this episode was, the recent opening of a local board came cafe, near me called Wayfarers Rest, and it's set up by two women. Sarah and Katie the founders of Wayfair's Rest. Initially it was known as, just Wayfair's, and it was like an online space with a discord. They'd always had a dream to open up a board game cafe, and it became reality this year. And they've built up the gaming community over discord. So there's already pockets of people that would come regularly for board game evenings in different places in town, but now they can all come to the board game cafe. I found a lovely post, by the local tourist board in my town. That rounds off by talking about Wayfair's rest, and it says, from open board game nights to crafting circles. Wayfair's rest is more than a cafe. It's a community hub, you definitely get that vibe going in. It feels really welcoming, really cozy, really comfortable. Sarah and Katie themselves are absolutely lovely. They came across from America, found each other here and, decided to work on this dream together it's wonderful to see it become a reality.

Matt:

Have you met them?

Alex (2):

Yeah. They're both, behind the till when we went in the last couple of times.

Matt:

We must have them as guests on the podcast.

Alex (2):

I'll definitely

Matt:

We must.

Alex (2):

I'm sure they'd be keen as well. I was always drawn to, once I'd heard that the board game cafe was coming and I knew that two women had founded it, I was like, well, I'm definitely going to go because I know it is gonna be a comfortable space. Or at least a more comfortable space than perhaps what some of our ideas about a traditional board game cafe might be, which we'll come onto in a later question as well. But Matt, you talked briefly about the difference between, in-person gaming and video gaming, or gaming alone. In front of a screen or remotely. So I wanted to dive into that question a little more. What do you think the main differences really are for you and, are they good, are they bad, or are both experiences good and bad in different ways? What are your thoughts on the differences?

Matt:

I think for me, I struggle with people in general, I always think the expression hell is other people but the other half of that I remind myself is that heaven is us. People have the potential to be both heavenly and hellish

Jem (3):

Ain't that the truth.

Matt:

the reason video gaming is so preferable and comfortable is because it's reliable.'cause you've got your,'cause When you, when you play video game, you think, right, I've got my, my console or my pc. I've got the game and I play the game that cycle of interaction is very narrow and consistent and comfortable, whereas people are wildly inconsistent, especially if you've not known for, for very long.'cause if you meet a a stranger, it could be anywhere from hell to heaven that they could be. Whereas if you're playing with people who you are more familiar with. That's better, but it's still, the potential for inconsistency is always gonna be there. And that makes it hard, particularly for people who are anxious like myself. Some of my closest friends at university, the person who I was in a band with for four years and then lived with in my final year there. I met him at the Rock Society Pub quiz. I love pub quizzes. I literally walked in and he was the first person I saw and I said, oh, hi, I'm Matt. We said, oh, do you wanna be on my team? And then we were away. Four years of friendship. At university, that's the kind of place people need to go to and the sort of mindset to go in with, to be able to just go, oh yeah, we're here to do this thing. Hello, hello, hello. And see where that takes you. You need to meet people. That's the hardest thing to do.

Alex (2):

It is hard.

Matt:

Yeah. But it's worth doing if you find the right people.

Alex (2):

for sure.

Matt:

I have to say, people who I've met through gaming, the system actually have given me enough hope in the human race to think there are people out there worth finding. There are people out there worth searching for. It's not just bleakness and inconsistency there are actually people who you can find in unexpected places like Jem. You're meeting Daniel gaming online,

Alex (2):

Yeah.

Matt:

didn't meet them in person. All these non-conventional ways to find wonderful people,

Jem (3):

Hmm.

Matt:

That's what I want more opportunities for.

Jem (3):

Yeah, I think you've hit the nail on the head that, the challenging thing about in-person gaming is also the rewarding thing about it. It's challenging because you are. Interacting with other people, which means you are at their, mercy and the mercy of what they want to do, there's nothing worse than playing, a board game with a friend for the first time and finding out that they're like a competitive asshole.

Alex (2):

Okay.

Jem (3):

Or that they're like, really sulky if they lose or, you know, there's, there's all those sorts of things where you're like, oh, I didn't wanna know that about you. You find a group of people who you can game with and it is fun with, and it's, just a such an enjoyable and rewarding experience. You're busy thinking about what you're gonna put here or what you're gonna do with that. That's where conversation can come out in just general chat, that's where that bonding happens without it feeling. So intense. You're not sitting there looking somebody in the eye and having to have that conversation in an intense way. It's just relaxed, chilled conversation, you just sort of. Start off focused on the game. That's what you're there for. That's what's bringing you together. And that's fine. And if that's all you talk about that's okay, but it also provides opportunity for conversations to diversify and for you to start to get to know each other and build friendships and relationships. So I feel that it's both the challenge and the reward of in-person gaming. I do really enjoy that. I do also enjoy, board game arena and, and other similar online board game opportunities because that allows you to. Go off and do something else halfway through and come back if it's a turn, like an ongoing sort of turn base thing, then you are not having to commit three hours to spending going through a game. The reason why, it's taken us a year to get to October in Pandemic Legacy Season two is because finding an afternoon where we can all donate three hours of our time or, and all feel in the right mental space to do that, and all of that is, is always difficult and so, it's finding that balance. But I definitely think that you gain more from, in-person gaming you lose from the difficulty of it. I know a lot of people who. Are extremely anxious or find social interaction really challenging, who really get a lot out of out of gaming in person. You can just talk about the game. If that's all you are up for that day, that's all you need to talk about. But you are still having that social interaction. You're still building up those relationships and breaking down those walls. So I think it's like a really nice way to ease into social socializing without it being too in your face.

Alex (2):

I think you've both put it pretty beautifully, to be honest. I'm not sure how much more I can add, I definitely agree. I was playing board game Arena, earlier today, in fact, and I realized that my washing had finished spinning, about halfway through, I thought, right when I've done my next turn, I'll put it in the dryer, I spent. Most of the second half of the game when it was everyone else's turn, doing the laundry, and then came back for my turn. Uh, so completely putting what you've said into action there, gem. What I think about video gaming is a lot of the time it's like your comfortable gaming space. It's your comfort zone. It's what you know,

Jem (3):

Hmm.

Alex (2):

You choose which games to play, which world to spend time in. With in-person gaming, it's a little bit outside of your comfort zone'cause it might not be up to you what game you're playing. You might be playing with strangers or acquaintances. You also, again, it's a time commitment, so you have to find that time as well. Um, I think it can be a real facilitator for conversation a lot of meaningful conversations happen. A lot of bonding, really talking about life and living and just helping each other out the game becomes almost a background thing, particularly if it's one you're familiar with. It is just the platform with which you can spend time with people you care about and talk to them your life, which I think is really lovely as well. So, yeah. Um, the second half of this. I think I'd like to focus on board game cafes as community hubs,

Jem (3):

Hmm.

Alex (2):

the lovely post about Wayfair's rest and what we think those could be and what we want them to be in the future as well. If you're interested in hearing about that, stay tuned for part two. Um, we'll be back with another episode in the usual Places. If you like this episode. Share it with your friends, leave a review, leave a, like, leave a comment. We love to hear from you. Let us know your thoughts and we'll see you again soon. you.

Jem (3):

Bye.