501. Chanda Coston

Email: bidemiologunde@gmail.com

In this episode, host Bidemi Ologunde speaks with Chanda Coston, founder of Chanda Co., a U.S. Navy veteran, business strategist, coach, and Personal PMP/Success Strategist who helps women entrepreneurs in the "third quarter of life" turn their experience into income, build businesses that fit their current season, and move from scattered effort to structured execution without burnout. The conversation follows Chanda's timeline from military service to corporate strategy, consulting, entrepreneurship, and coaching: What does reinvention really require after 40? How can women choose the right business model for the life they are actually living now? Where can technology, automation, and project-management systems create clarity, and where do they quietly fuel overwhelm? Chanda shares practical lessons on confidence, focus, execution, and building a business that supports life instead of consuming it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Thank you for joining me once again on another episode of the Bit Future Podcast. I have a special guest from up in North Carolina. Over to you.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited, excited to be here and um have this conversation with you. I think it's gonna be absolutely amazing. And I can't wait to see where it goes. So nice, nice.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

So um we're just gonna launch right into it. Um in a few sentences, what do you help women stop doing? And what do you help them start doing?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

I help them get out of overwhelm, get out of burnout, and I help them start creating a life that uh or a business basically that fits around their life and not vice versa, right? And so a lot of that is taking them out of um overwhelm, is taking them out of burnout, helping them to identify their capacity through structure and systems, right? And so it's like, what does that look like? I was a project manager for the government, and so a lot of people don't understand how that um conveys in a business and the importance of that. And so I'm being bringing those simple systems and structure and down to their understanding so that they can have the success and the freedom that they desire and deserve for sure. Nice, nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Wow, thank you, thank you for um for all the good work you do. And one more thing I found when I was doing some reading up about you is you work with women in the third quarter of life.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

How do you define that season?

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Third quarter is typically women who around 40, right? It's a little less than 40, typically over 40, and they have decided that they have checked all the blocks, they have done all the things, and they're ready to pivot or transition into something that is purposeful, that is fulfilling for them, and that means something in the third quarter of life. And so when you think the children are grown or almost grown, they've supported the husband, they, you know, had the career, and it's like, okay, well, what is there left for me? And so they know they want to do something new. Sometimes they know what it looked like, sometimes they don't. But it's like, okay, they also understand that at that age that there's an urgency, right? Because you're not 17 anymore, you're not 21 or 25 anymore, you're not even 30. Around that 40-ish mark, you start to realize that you know you're halfway typically through your life, and so it's time to get some things done. And so that's that third quarter uh definition.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

So third quarter coach. Wow. Wow, wow. And around that age is I've listened to a few podcasts about aging in general. And of course, it's different for men and women. Around that time is when so many things start to change, especially for women in terms of time, identity, energy, even caregiving, because okay, the kids have left home, yeah, but most of the most of the women in that age group have older parents.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

And the caregiving falls on the women, even though they have they have male siblings or other men in the family. So even in terms of ambition, because now you're navigating your career saying, is this really the career I want? I've devoted 15, 20 years of my career at this point. Well, maybe I should start my own business, or if I've had my own business for the longest time, maybe I should pivot into something else, and so on and so on. So, what do you notice changes versus stays the same based on all these categories for women?

SPEAKER_01 3:56

I think around that age, I think GWIT is so um pivotal, which is ironic because we're using that word around pivot, but I think which is so pivotal for women at that age, outside of um the uh hormonal changes and the life changes, right? And so we have always been taught that we are supposed to be the homemakers, the caregivers, et cetera. But a lot of times when um even though we've stepped into a corporate or stepped into that job, we still kept that identity, right? And so there's so many different identity crises that are happening around that age because we took so much ownership into being the homemaker or to being a mom and making sure the kids are fine and all those things. And in a sense, even though we feel pulled to do the thing that we want to do, then we still have to manage responsibility. So we do have the aging parents, right? And so I'm prime example. I have five adult children, 32 to 21. I have two aging parents who have remarried and they're in different states. And I also have grandchildren, but then I also have a business, I have a nonprofit, and I have my own life and I have my own goals and my own desires. And it's like, how do you manage all those pieces? And then how do you create boundaries that allow me to have balance and to flourish in all of those different ways, right? It is giving myself permission, right? To say that it's okay for me to um, it's okay for me to chase this desire that I have and still be the daughter, still be the mom, still be the grandmom, right? And so it's not it's not taking away from me, it is adding to me. It's just understanding my capacity for that season, and it's creating strong boundaries that will allow me to pursue all of those things. And so a lot of that comes to implementing structures and systems if you don't have those for sure.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Structures, structures and systems. And that's something I'm consistently learning because right now it's almost 10 p.m. and we're having this conversation. Of course, being able to stay up late to do this for both of us is us relying on systems we've put in place to have that extra bit of energy at 9 p.m. Wow, wow. So you you've served in the military. Thank you for your service. And what did military service teach you that directly shaped how you lead and coach today?

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Definitely the structure, the discipline, the tenacity, the go get them attitude, perseverance, like no matter what, right? And so I think for a lot of um a lot of entrepreneurs who are new in the space, um, they know they want to do something, but they lack the motivation and they will, they're expecting the motivation to come from somewhere else. And it's like, no, no, no, you've decided you're gonna do this thing, you've got to get it done. And I think with the military, it doesn't matter how you're feeling, right? You know what the mission is. And so you've been in it's been instilled in you, like just get it done, right? It's a non-negotiable. And um, I have the benefit of having that tenacity and that perseverance now. Not only did it take me to the military through corporate and all of my other endeavors, that when I set my mind to something, not only do I um try to keep promises I make to myself, right? Because I think that's a thing, but I trust myself to say, if I said I was gonna do this, I'm gonna get it done. And I think that's so key for sure.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Wow, wow. And it's always interesting for me to learn about how a lot of people think motivation is enough or discipline is enough. Well, they kind of go hand in hand because motivation will get you going, but motivation will get you to get up. Discipline is what keeps you going. And in my case, the podcast is one big giant example. I've been doing this for five years. And people ask me, okay, how do you keep going? I'm like, well, I do it when I sound like this. I'm fighting a cold, and well, I still want to talk to interesting people and learn from them. And well, as long as you can hear me on the microphone, that's not an excuse for me not to do a conversation like this. Yeah. So it's it's one thing that the more you do it, the more you know how to do it. And that's something that has stuck with me from when I was a teenager growing up. My parents would always remind me, well, if you do something long enough, you would start to find easier and better and faster ways to do the same. It's like your brain would teach you how to keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

So like working out, right? It's easier.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Yeah. No, but um, I tell my clients that all the time, I'm like, you have to make it frictionless, right? It's one, you gotta know what you're going after. How do you know if you've achieved success if you don't know what you're going towards? So set your goal, set your milestone so you can identify when you're making progress, and then make your make sure you know your why so that you're non-negotiable. And then let's go, right? Um, and then make it frictionless. So one thing I hate is content. So, you know what I did? I put a bunch of ring lights around my house. Why? Because I need to make it easy. I need to make it so easy that I can't talk myself out of it.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Nice, nice, yeah, yeah, definitely. It's it's like me too, and how I just think about so I have three boys. My oldest knows that I talk to people, and he wants to listen to every episode. Oh wow. So before he goes to bed, that's kind of like our story time.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

So he would ask me to play an episode for him, and he would listen, and then he will ask me questions about that episode. I'll play like a 15-minute segment because it's bedtime, you can't stay up too late. And he would always ask me at least one or two questions every single night.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

The conversations I have with people, the ones I do, monologues. He wants to listen. Maybe he's listening to my voice, maybe he's listening to the topics I'm talking about. So that is kind of like a motivation for me to keep doing it. Because every episode now, subconsciously, I'm thinking, what would my son ask about this episode?

SPEAKER_01 10:34

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

And I'm and I'm not even like directly framing questions for him.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

But subconsciously, it's like, wow, wow. And he's just six years old. So it's not like in he's in elementary, he's in first grade.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Yeah. He sounds very sharp.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Thank you, thank you. So um, you have this philosophy of a business that fits your current season. What are some variables you look for um when you're describing that kind of business to your clients? Um, three to four variables. Is it time available? Is it energy? Is it financial runway, and so on?

SPEAKER_01 11:17

So let's do some inverted thinking, right? And what I mean by that is when we talk about a business that fits your life, let's think about what the business looks like that doesn't fit your life, right? It means that you're in hustle mode, it means that you're burnt out, it means that you can't sleep, you may not be eating properly, it means like you feel like you can never catch up, right? There's always something, you're always reactive, putting out a fire, and it's draining. And so you may be a little cranky, you know, with your family, not have time for the things that matter. And so it's like, okay, how do I eliminate that? And so we talked about that a bit before. We talked about understanding the thing that looks like success for you and identifying your goals, right? Identifying your why, identifying your non-negotiables, because that'll tell you how much capacity you have. And I always use this for an example. Um, if I have a client who has small children and she started a business and she wants to scale her business, but she has small children. And in order to scale her business, it's going to require her to miss important milestones in her children's life. I'm going to tell her that now is not the time. Okay. So being in it for the long haul and sustaining the business is a form of success. But if you miss the baby's first steps, if you miss that first ball game, the first day of school, those are moments you can't get back. And so when we talk about creating a business that actually fits your life, we're talking about your capacity and being honest about where you are in your journey, what season you're in, and what that looks like from like realistically having the business model and the type of business that you want to have. And that varies, you know, for different people. There's so many automations and systems that you can put in place, but everybody doesn't want to um operate the same. So it really depends on the CEO and how they want to operate. And so when I talk to that founder of that CEO, I'm like, okay, so what's your business model? What is required of you as a CEO? And then what is your capacity? And if you tell me you don't have the capacity to create the thing or to scale the business, then I'm gonna say, okay, how can we refine that so that you can put some systems in place, put some structure in place, bring a team on, right? Are you ready to delegate? Are you positioned for that so that you can continue to move forward in your business, or are you comfortable with maintaining your business until there's a better season? Because I can't, I'm not you can always start another business. You can't get those moments back with your children.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Right. Yeah. And it's that's something I personally prioritize as a dad as well. Because I'm thinking, well, if my son is into all these different things, I'm duty bound to support him in what he wants to explore and become interested in. Every weekend, I take him to go swim, my oldest, and even the second, and I literally see them improving their swim skills.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

And every time I just like think back and say, wow, this is just what consistency looks like. Because I could just decide to sleep in on a Saturday, but I'm like, you know what? I can afford to not sleep in on a Saturday and just take them to go swim. Because the skill is for them, it's like me giving them a gift now, but they won't realize the gift until later. And that's even what I apply to myself, all the different things I do, it's like I'm giving myself a gift for the next five, ten years. Oh, yeah. So that when the future comes, I have more options instead of a narrow set of options where okay, when the future comes, I can only do this type of business. No, I don't want to be put in that position. Yeah. So I'm acquiring all these different skills now so that in the future I can have more options on what I want to do and have more time, more energy, preferably more money. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

No, I agree. Um, I think one of the things that we don't talk about enough is our journeys, our education, knowledge, experience, and how it all equates to live to human capital, right? And so when we think of ourselves as human capital, then it becomes um easier to look at ourselves as value added. And so, what is my unique value proposition? How do I show up in the world and put a dollar amount to that, right? And so it is literally that. And a lot of times um my clients can't necessarily make the connection of their journey and the things that they've been through and their experiences, and they're not always comfortable charging their worth, right? And it's like, no, you went through these different things, and these are the lessons that you've learned. And because you learned those lessons, you can help lead someone who's coming behind you, and that's the value add. Your unique value proposition is that live experience, it is that education, right? And and that's so key for sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Nice, nice.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

So, what is the biggest misconception that women have about starting over later in life?

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Oh my God. Imposter syndrome is the worst. Um, and we all deal with it, but women at this age, more than anything, and I a lot, big part of it, I think, is us internalizing um our failure. Like I failed versus um, you know, nothing wrong with men, right? Nothing wrong with you guys, but um, you guys typically don't internalize, right? You will say it was the system, it was the offer, it was the messaging. And so you're looking at the actual thing that may have caused the friction versus it being um blaming yourself. And so it's like, how dare I start over? How dare I go on social media? How dare I pivot? And what if I fail? And so it's that fear of failure, it's that fear of rejection, is um being afraid to show up in new spaces, feeling like um your time has passed, you're obsolete, like you don't have anything left to give. And I think a lot of that is a geared towards mindset, it's geared towards culture, and um, it really takes a person willing to do the work to change. Um, and so, you know, it's like, okay, you have something to add. And so you need to show up because someone needs what you have.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Nice, nice. And you've actually helped over a hundred entrepreneurs overcome, like you started describing overwhelm. So, what does overwhelm actually look like? I know from listening to podcasts and reading a bunch of books, there is perfectionism and there is people pleasing. Are those also contributing factors to feeling overwhelmed?

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Absolutely. And so when you've learned strong boundaries, you need strong boundaries just to be a successful business owner. And so when you have strong boundaries, you can say yes and mean it, and you can say no. Oh, you can say yes with no regrets and say no and mean it. And so a lot of times, as women, we don't like to say no, right? And so we pile all these things on our plate because we're worried, like, oh my God, what if I don't show up for these people? What will they think? Um, who cares what they think? Because we all are responsible to do the thing that we were designed to do, or you know, to make our goals impossible or make our goals important to us. And so absolutely, I think that shows up a lot. Perfectionism paralysis also shows up a lot. There is something called the good enough rule, which is when you accomplish 80% of what's required to achieve a goal, right? And so a person that's stuck in perfectionism paralysis means they're never releasing anything, they're never getting anything actually done because they're constantly refining it because they got to make it perfect. Um, where realistically, there is progress over perfection every time. You would much rather release it, have progress, get data, so then you can measure it, so then you can manage it, so then you can do another iteration and then release it again.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

And so yeah, that's so cute. It took me a while to learn that, and it actually showed up with the podcast saying, I don't have to wait until everything is perfect before I release episode number one. Yeah, I was just like, you know what? Episode one sounds terrible. I keep going back to listening to episode one and I cringe all the time. Yeah, and I'm like fighting the urge to record another one and just put no. I'm like, no, it has to be there to remind myself and everybody else that this is what progress looks like.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Because a lot of people I know personally who want to get into whatever podcasting, ETC, even going to the gym, they were like, if I show up to the gym, everybody's gonna judge me. And I'm just like, you know what? All these other people you think are gonna judge you, they came to the gym for the very first time in their life one day.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

So, how about you just, you know, one step at a time, progress over perfection?

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Yes, absolutely, or be like me, just work out at home, but I mean, yeah, no, I that is very true. Um, I think you need that, and um, I think people need to see it, right? Because I think that's what becomes the breakcrumbs. And so I always say this and so I think I know I'm getting older because I say this too often, but one of my qualms with social media is that they show everyone on the mountaintop and they don't show everybody in the valley going through their journey. And so people think I gotta show up now, I gotta be on top, and I gotta have arrived. And it's like, no, you're comparing your step one to somebody else's 250th step, and it's not the same, right? And so I think having that step one to look at, it encourages other people. And then that's also the importance of community is when people are on a similar path as you, you can say, hey, look at what I did back then, and look how far I've come. Like you're doing great, right? So you can encourage them to take the first step and then to keep going for sure.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Nice, nice. So um, talking about AI, because everybody is fully aware that, well, AI is disrupting so many things, to put it mildly. Um, from your perspective, what do you think AI can genuinely do? For a solo business owner today that would get them in that progress mindset?

SPEAKER_01 22:07

I tell all my clients to lean into AI as a partner, not as a thought leader. And so you should never expect AI to think for you. You want to feed it your thoughts. You want it to streamline a process to make it quicker because it can do things faster than we can. And so that will allow you to recoup some of your capacity so that you have more time to do the things you actually want to do. Um, but definitely I think everyone should be leaning into AI because it's an inevitable, right? Um, and for a solopreneur, it could be a game changer. And if you don't use it, I honestly think you're gonna do yourself a you know injustice, you're gonna be left behind. And so it's really important to stay um in with the times. So we move from the information age. Now we're in AI and robotics. But um, I always use the um the the thought of Blockbuster Netflix, right? Have Blockbuster, who was number one, right, in entertainment, had they pivoted, then Netflix wouldn't have been able to come in the way they did. But because they wanted to stay in that particular um business model, they just missed out. And it's like you ask kids now, like Blockbuster who my 32-year-old would probably know, but I don't think my 28-year-old will know.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Wow, yeah. So and in terms of privacy, um, what would you advise a small business owner to never put into the chatbots, the LLMs from a privacy perspective? Is it some people put client data in and say, okay, give me some insights into this particular client or my last 30 days of sales? Some people put their contracts into AI um chatbots and tell them to analyze or simplify. Is it financial details of the numbers, their books, and so on? And so what would you advise them to not do?

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Yeah, I think it's okay to use it to generate um administrative documents and templates and things like that. It's even, um, I wouldn't put any personal data in there in the sense of um like, you know, per PI PII, personal identifier information, anything specific to account numbers, things like that. So if you want it to create templates for you, if you want it to draft emails for you, like, you know, drop something in there with your information, your voice, and that type of stuff. But as far as things that are specific to um your client, so when you think of all these crazy emails we get about there's been a leak and your information has been sold to the dark web, and now people have access to your account information, to your address and all of those things, that's the same data that you want to make sure that you're protecting and you're not putting the system. Um, because you're basically exposing yourself in a matter of time, I think. Right. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

Right, right. So um social media. Uh what's your what's your rule for using social media intentionally without getting swallowed up by social media?

SPEAKER_01 25:29

Me personally, um I am very structured and very type A. And so I schedule time to upload content to an app and it posted automatically for me. And I go in at least once a day and maybe share some stuff to a story, but um I'm not one to doom scroll, so that's not my problem, but um, so I don't get sucked into social media like that. Um, I'm there by necessity, not by choice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Right. And it's the same thing for me as well. I use only Instagram to promote the show, and I actually don't mind if uh you I don't go on there in a week, and then I go the following week. And another thing I do is I limit my time. So on the screen time app, I limit my Instagram specifically to 15 minutes per day. So that way, once 15 minutes is up, that's it. I'm not extending it because it tells you you can extend it for 15 more minutes and 15 more minutes, or you can expand it till the end of the day. No. 15 minutes is done, maybe it's done for me at 9 a.m. Then no more Instagram for me for that day. Or maybe it's done at 11 p.m. Because for some reason I didn't use Instagram all day. Yeah, then I get my 15 minutes at 11 p.m. So if I post something almost always about the podcast, and people comment, and then people are asking me, so how are you gonna see the comments? And then I'm like, Well, I see the comments the next day. And then they're like, What if the comments are no longer there? Well, maybe I wasn't supposed to see them. Yeah, if someone comments and then they delete it and I don't see it, well, I wasn't supposed to see it.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

No, I'm the person that plugs. Like, I text my family because we have a group chat, and I'll say, I need a few days, we're gonna unplug, and I'll talk to you guys next week. Only call me if it's an emergency. Like, that's my personality. So I'm really big on being intentional about my time and creating moments and memories over scroll time, and so sometimes holidays, I have to remind myself, oh, we didn't take any pictures, let me snap a few pictures because my phone is sitting down somewhere. People like, I was calling you, and I'm like, Yeah, but my phone was in the other room. I got it. No, I get it 100%.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

So um, to kind of start wrapping up here, sorry about my voice. No, you're fine. Um three to five years from now, where do you see yourself advising women navigating their uh their third quarter with all this tech and all the new tech that are gonna come out? Where do you see yourself and that advice that you're gonna be giving to that niche group of people three to five years from now?

SPEAKER_01 28:47

The irony about time is I don't think people change or evolve as quickly as technology, and there will still be a group of people who would need to hear my voice. Um, I really believe that um everything we do in life is a seed, and it's like a pebble that's being thrown on a pond. And so every day, being intentional about planting those seeds or tossing my pebble on the pond, that it can impact the people that are around me. So I see myself still having those similar conversations, reminding people that we only get one life. And so let's live it, right? Let's be intentional and let's show up as our best self. Um, and we will adapt to the latest technology and the latest thing. I'm looking forward to the humanoids, okay, to do the yard work and the housework and the walk the dog, okay. Um and it'll free me up to do more traveling and having those moments with my family and serving my clients so they can become their better self for sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Nice, nice. I I like your approach to um change. And of course, it it comes across given what you do, that open-mindedness is so rare because I go around, I see people, I interact with people all day long, and people are closed-minded, and it's so bad, most people don't realize they're closed-minded. And one one um yardstick I tell people to measure themselves with is if you see something on TV or online, what's your first thought about that thing? Is it your own real your own personal thought or what you think the people you are going to interact with on social media would think about it? Because it's so crazy that even thinking about starting a business, it becomes politicized that you have to vote in a certain way for you to think like a business owner. And I'm thinking that is one of the most stupidest things I've ever heard in my life. So you mean to tell me that I'm trying to explore my own creativity and add value to people's lives and get paid for it. That means I vote a certain way. How? From where to where? What is the correlation? I don't know. It's yeah, yeah. Like I said, I I'm I'm idly on social media, so maybe because I'm not on social media, I think it's certainly I'm kind of late to the party with holidays, too, so I get it.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

They're like, Did you hear the latest? And I'm like, no, no, we didn't. Like, what's going on? What happened? Yeah, I think it's so negative a lot of times that if you fill yourself always with what's going on on social media and on the media, then it can have like a major impact to how you move in life. And I think one of the freedoms is giving yourself permission to turn it off, right? And it's happening when you feel like it. And so I think that's key. Um, not just for us, but also as parents and grandparents. Because I think one of the things I hate um off on the tangent a little bit is that we don't nurture um like creativity in children. You have a six-year-old, I have a seven-year-old grandson who is so brilliant. And I don't say that because I'm his grandmother and I love him. He is like, his mind is so amazing at seven, and the public school system does not challenge him. And so at some point that becomes dull, right? But when you think of the world and everything that's going on in it, it is, you know, what is the impact of all this negativity on the young minds that we're supposed to be shaping for the future? And then what is my role in that and my responsibility, not just as a business owner, but also as a parent and as a person, you know? So for sure. It's like if you have to unplug, then unplug. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

Wow. This has been a very insightful conversation. Thank you so much. And of course, I would like I would love to have you on um sometime later in the year to see um where all the good work you're doing and maybe do some check-in. And of course, I'm gonna stay in touch with you. So thank thank thank you so much once again. Talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

All right, bye-bye. Thank you.