The Ripple Effect of Violence | Rhonda Parker Taylor

Join Rhonda Parker Taylor and I as we chat about finding balance after trauma. Rhonda opens up about her journey from surviving a violent attack at 15 to losing her adopted son in a shooting. They dive into the ripple effects of crime and why acknowledging trauma is the first step to healing.
Rhonda shares tips on using emotional intelligence and having a safety plan post-trauma. She talks about how journaling and reflection can help you reclaim your life. They explore the psychological impact of violence and the importance of addressing these experiences to avoid long-term mental health issues.
With her crime novelist hat on, Rhonda gives us a peek into the emotional rollercoaster faced by victims and their families. Her upcoming book on life balance and victimization promises more insights on finding joy amidst the chaos.

Listeners are encouraged to embrace their feelings, seek support, and find strength in community and spirituality. Rhonda's story is a beacon of hope, reminding us all of the resilience within. Tune in for a conversation packed with wisdom, empathy, and healing vibes.

How to contact:
https://rhondaparkertaylor.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Crossroads-Rhonda-Parker-Taylor-ebook/dp/B0BTTRMJCL?ref_=ast_author_dp

Transcript

Tiffany: After trauma, you have to find life balance

>> Tiffanie: Something that is so important is life balance. After trauma, any kind of trauma, you have to find life balance. Hello and welcome. This is True Crime Connections. I am Tiffanie, your host. I want to say welcome or welcome back. Helping me with this topic today is, bestselling author Rhonda Parker Taylor. I want to thank you so much for being here.

>> Rhonda : Thank you for having me. I can't wait. And I really hope you're out there listening because we've been talking for a while here before we came online, and we found that there's so much commonality when you've experienced it, you've witnessed it, you've been a part of it, or even just watching the news. You see the crime just draws you in, but then you realize that it's taking away from you some of the innocence. And there is a grief cycle of that trauma, even if you've not experienced it or you have experienced it. And I really hope that everybody out there enjoys. And if you have any questions, make sure you're following and add comments and we'll try to hit you back as quick as we can.

>> Tiffanie: That's right. And if you know anyone, I, could use this episode, make sure you share it with them because this really does hit on so many different levels.

>> Rhonda : None of us are immune, and if we think we are, it's the time that something might happen. We wish nothing bad to anybody, but that is what the life holds. And it doesn't matter where you are. If you're in, I'm in Indiana. You could be in California or Chicago or even overseas. Violence is everywhere.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, yes. It does not discriminate, that's for sure.

>> Rhonda : No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.


You've been through a lot of personal trauma and violence

>> Tiffanie: I know you've been through a lot of your own personal trauma. Did you want to go into what led you to be this great author and true crime author?

>> Rhonda : I would say I'm a survivor. And I'm not talking just about victimization. I'm talking about resilience. I'm talking about people out there that maybe are working with their loved ones that are ill. I'm talking about the fact that we have to go to work every day to survive. Right. All of us have this innate ability to survive if we choose it. So for me personally, my personal story started at a very young age. The first time I experienced real trauma and violence was at the age of 15 at the hand of a man with a knife. I was working. And luckily that particular person had some kind of conscience once they once I said my age. So, yes, it was traumatizing. And I've often asked you when talking to people, why do you think he didn't go ahead with his plan? And one time, it was my husband that said, even sexual predators sometimes aren't child predators. And I really had to thank God. And in that moment that I prayed, I, said, God, please help. And it was just in my internal part of me. I didn't say it out loud. And right then, he just stopped and walked away and said, think of this as a lesson.

>> Tiffanie: Wow.

>> Rhonda : And I. And so I have to say, and then the most recent violent act that we can say that occurred to me was in 2009. My son, or my adopted son, was shot and killed at work. He was a bouncer. And they put some people, out of the bar that evening, and somebody, one of them, came back and shot and killed the whole security team during last call when they opened the doors to let everybody out. So we're never completely immune to violence, but what we. And there's always a domino effect. And people might say, what does that mean? What does a domino effect mean? It means that it touches not just the victim. And victims in the legal system may be included, as for the state, but it also includes the family, the friends, even the predator that's done the act. Or it includes the defense. It, includes the prosecution, the judge, the jury. Everybody is affected. The children, the witnesses, everybody is affected by violence. So for me, one life taken means lives change and you'll never be the same. But I can tell you, you can learn from that and be a better person, too, and make a difference out there. Just like this podcast we're talking about. Crime thriller. Okay? There's lots of crimes out there, and we can talk and we can even pick a case. You know, there's a recent one in Indiana, the Delphi murder cases of, two young girls. They just got the verdict after eight years. That's how long families go through things. In my case, it was almost five years. And the outcome for my son was the person was found not guilty because there was no real leftover evidence. Everybody was dead. There was no witness. So crime is kind of a wave and flow that we can actually impact not just our lives and our kids, but it permanently changes the MRI of our brain. So what ends up happening is, here we go. We've gone through an experience, and how are you going to deal with that? And what are you going to do with your life after that? You can crawl in bed, or you can choose to put one foot in Front of the other. Or as the Japanese say, the longest journey is shorter with the first step.

>> Tiffanie: I like that. But, yeah, people have to think about that. There's cold cases for 20, 30 years. Like, these are people's families, friends that have to carry that for that long, hoping to see justice. It's not over when the crime's over. There's so much more that happens behind.

>> Rhonda : The scenes and so many crimes can be prevented. I recently did a podcast on a case that was in Indiana, and it was about a man that came to a daycare where his kids were and killed his baby mama and he'd been stalking her. And when we dissected the case, there were places all along the way that people could have prevented it. One, when she filed the no contact order. Two, changing and making a safety plan. There's so many things that you can do to prevent crimes. Being. I was one of those. And so you said, I wrote a book on life balance and a crime thriller. I did. And then the next book that's coming out is on victimization, how we raise ourselves to be victims. Sometimes, you know, sometimes we don't realize by buying into. Let's take an example. Let's say you were working alone in a store and you've been trained and you want to move up and you're all gung ho about it. But then something tells you when this one person comes in the store because you're there alone, that you shouldn't approach them. But you discard it and go with the training. You must greet, you must show, you must do this, and you bought into that you were going to be successful by following this and you disregarded your own safety. A lot of times we have to think about those particular acts that we do that puts us in vulnerable places and that we discard the things that are, that will keep us safe. Because, hey, we were taught, we were told it would be rude, whatever it might be. They may take it wrong, whatever it is. You still have to think of the safety factor for yourself.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, it's that gut instinct. I always say, you gotta trust it because it's there for a reason.

>> Rhonda : Yes, it is. And if you don't do that, what ends up happening is in what could have been a normal day ends up a tragic day. They could have called security after the police and had them outside of my son's club after they, you know, after they put somebody out fighting. But they did. They could have had a protocol that staff didn't open up the doors and leave the building. They stayed inside. So there's many things in safety that you could do to prevent a crime. It doesn't mean, that it's going to always prevent it, but safety could make a difference.

>> Tiffanie: Yes. I mean, I've seen shows where people did everything right. Everything right.


Survivor is a show about people who survive horrific crimes

And they still, unfortunately, became a victim because for the most part, they passed away. So I don't like to call you, if you're still around. I like to call Survivor. Because you serve him dead.

>> Rhonda : That. Exactly. And think about that silence, that silent sorrow that the person has that is a survivor. Have you ever watched, the show I survived?

>> Tiffanie: Yes.

>> Rhonda : It's on and I get addicted. I'll go and binge it sometimes, and if I catch it, and it's like, why are you sitting here? Because in some ways you're drawn to the heroes of the ones that made it. You're so excited that they're there to make the story, and the things that they've gone through are so traumatic. And I think that by taking a chain reaction and watching it and understanding then you kind of have a real idea of what's going on.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. Some of it's so interesting, though. It's like, oh, forever in an avalanche. And I'm like, I live in Florida. When is that going to happen? But now I know how to get.

>> Rhonda : Out of one and what to do. You learn little techniques and tools of how people actually got away. Any crime, people might think it ends after the crime, but really it's just the beginning. It's just the beginning for everybody. It doesn't matter who it is, the perpetrator, the victim, everybody. It just starts a snowball with a bunch of other things.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, I've always said that, like, just because the show ended, doesn't mean everybody's not living happily ever after.

>> Rhonda : No.

>> Tiffanie: Now the real healing and hard part comes because now you have to actually face what happened and kind of figure out, how did it happen, why did it happen, could you have prevented it? You know, you kind of go down that coulda, woulda, shoulda hallway. And again, you have to find out how to rebuild your life.

>> Rhonda : Right. You do. And for me, I find that the first thing is acknowledging the trauma. When you can acknowledge way. This is way beyond. When I got the knock on the door, and I opened up the door and it was the police, and then the next knock was the, his girlfriend. All you can do is in that moment. And I can remember it like it was just yesterday. And it's been a few years is I saw a tiny crack right at that, at the ceiling level of the house. And I'd never noticed it before where the house had settled and it starts to make a little crack, and you call someone in and they patch it up and they repaint it. And I followed that crack right up to the ceiling, and it was just this big. But that long moment, it seemed like a, following. It seemed huge. And then right as I got to the ceiling, I heard in my mind the words, it's going to be okay, because it never was going to be the same again. So I had to claim what I wanted it to be. So if there's anybody out there that's been a victim of a crime or witnessed a crime crime, or family members that have been part of a crime, the first thing to do is name it, claim it, and realize that things are going to change, but you will survive.

>> Tiffanie: That's very good advice. Absolutely.


Was it kind of like that mother's intuition that people talk about when

Was it kind of like that mother's intuition that people talk about when you get the knock at the door? It's almost like you just, you know.

>> Rhonda : I've said I think it started the night before, the first thing that happened the night before, because we had been talking about him leaving that job. He had another job, but he didn't want to give up the second job. And he was young, you know, there was a thrill, I'm sure, working in the bar that all, the young women in the alcohol and the dancing and the music and all of that all there. And you kind of as a bouncer, the superstar, you know, male dominant person. So I'm sure it was a big decision to leave, and he knew he needed to. And we'd been talking about. But he hadn't called in a couple of days. So I had left him a message. And I'm sure the police got a rise out of the message. I left a message, you need to call me. And if you don't, I'm going to show up at that bar and I'm going to bring a belt and a pillow until we get this resolved. And I don't know if he ever heard it. And of course, I told him I loved him and all the other things that he do. But I don't know if he ever got the message. But I think that was the intuition, the unsettledness, the need to reach out and hear the voice. And then I had fallen asleep, and I had the dream that in my mother's, voice saying, just one more. It's going to be okay. So I know that's where that came from. It's going to be okay because it was in my dream. And so I think I already had a premonition. I felt the vibe or you know, there's all kinds of ways that you can say spiritually that that connection was probably there. So yeah, I think so. I think that you get the place there and it's that validation that something's wrong and you don't know really how you're going to handle it after that. But I took a childlike approach to it and I literally went back to cartoons in my head to take that trauma and say after I said okay, it's going to be okay, I started jingling in my head Frosty the Snowman song and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. They're both. It's in both of them. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door. And that's what got me the momentum to get together to go and do the things and notify the people I needed to notify.

>> Tiffanie: Very interesting. But obviously it worked.

>> Rhonda : Yeah. And I find since then that writing is a big part of in journaling is very part and very therapeutic. Which is why I like doing the crime novel aspect of things because I can explore emotions that different people might have gone through without it, being about any one situation. In Crossroads, my first crime novel, it's based out of Indianapolis. It's all sites that are real in Indianapolis. And then I took character and they're all out of life balance and something happens to them, each one of them because they haven't identified that they're out of balance. And it's kind of like a game of clue of who's really doing it. It starts out with a death of a 15 year old girl that's been dropped at the crossroads of a railroad track that does exist even though the crime itself did never happen. And I think it allowed me to explore what happened if so it was possible that could have been me. Even though it wasn't. Even though if that's fiction. It allowed me to explore those emotions m of what people go through when this happened. And then I took it to the jury and whenever you get in the court system everything's wrong. Nobody's a winner in the court system. Everybody's trying to get out of jury duties that prosecutors trying to sum up the case and get the people put locked up. The defense is trying to get out the judges trying to keep things restrained. And in doing that I was able to go through the process, you know, the process that all victims go through. So I highly, highly think that people should journal and think about, especially if they've been a victim.

>> Tiffanie: Absolutely. I say that all the time. Even if you're in an abusive relationship, you need to journal what it is that you're going through. Because at one point later on you can look back and you're going to feel validated that you were able to keep good record of what was happening to you. Because, I mean, in abusive relationships, how many times do you hear that you're crazy, that you're making things up? Well, if you have it in your own words with dates and I mean, you can write as much as you want. You have something to actually go back and look at, or God forbid something was ever to happen to you, someone else can find it and know what it, you know, what you had been going through.

>> Rhonda : Yes. And crime is beyond just the victims because it, it impacts. And just remember that everybody out there, anybody that's even witnessed a crime, it changes your brain. I said it before, but that's a big thing they call it when children experience it. Aces. Adverse childhood experiences, they need to say just basically adverse adult experiences, child experiences. But children are specific, are very vulnerable. And they say that if, a child has experienced violence, witnessed violence, then what? They end up having other mental health problems later in life if they don't get treated.

>> Tiffanie: I'm starting to notice a trend with that, especially with, like bipolar. And I've had one with Tourette's on my show that came from trauma. It's very fascinating. It's completely because of your brain. It's just. It's crazy.

>> Rhonda : How can you witness or be a part of something and it not change how you look at human nature. I'll give you a great example. I. One of the things that I wanted for myself and everybody has a vision that they have of what they want their life to be. And some people went to big house. I wanted a big yard. That's what I wanted. I have three acres. And in this, on this yard, because it's a, wooded lot, I get all kinds of. I call them critters. Other people call them wildlife. I get foxes and coyotes coming through and hawks and squirrels, and everything comes through deer and this particular season. And I don't know what, what made me start watching this one hawk, probably because when he first came out, he just was. He was a screecher. He screeched every. All the time. And if you go to my Facebook page or any of you'll probably, if you scroll down, you'll see him. I've taken lots of pictures and photos of him, but I started watching him and I'm like, this guy's different than I'd see the bigger one come swoop down and run off with a squirrel or whatever they were going to do to try to eat this one would hang out at the food bowl with all the other critters coming to get the peanuts and stuff like that. He would hang out. And there's one video where he keeps running behind a bush and coming back out and hanging out with him like he's eating with him and running behind the bush. And eventually I was started watching him like he's actually making friends with these. They know, they see him as, they don't see him as a predator anymore. And then what ended up happening is there was this huge bunny that there's no way.


Even the normal looking people can actually be a predator

And he couldn't even pick him up and take him. But he was able to grab him because he'd already gotten so used to sitting there eating with him at the table. Because it was really just a place where we put the peanuts and stuff for the squirrels and for the birds in the morning. And I was like, this is also what human behavior is. This is what. You can't just think that, oh, the scary looking one that's going to swoop down and get you. It's even the normal looking people that can actually be a predator. So you have to have a safety conscience in your mind at all times. And watching this hulk all this summer has been both a joy and an eye awakening experience of what the world is really like out there.

>> Tiffanie: He's grooming.

>> Rhonda : Yes. Basically that's what he's doing. He's grooming. That's exactly what he was doing. He was grooming because his fields and all those small birds come out, the big birds, the blue birds, the red birds, you know, the cardinals and then the squirrels come running from all areas and the rabbits and everybody wants to be fed. Even the possum come, comes and looks for less, for leftovers. So you know, they, they know that's the feeding area. But typically you hear them making noises for each other to warn them that there's a predator around. But they never made that noise with this guy because he was grooming them, to be able to have them at his leisure.

>> Tiffanie: Very interesting.

>> Rhonda : It was, it was incredible to me because it was like, you think about it, you hear about how people groom children or you hear about how this Happens or someone's gone around and gotten comfortable looking in, in their area to, you know, and planning their crimes. But you never really look at it from the predator's point of view of why they're doing it, how they carry it out. And I got to actually see it in the eyes of the hawk.

>> Tiffanie: Right, so do they run from him now?

>> Rhonda : No, because he just picks a different time, different set of people. He goes away for a while and then comes back and does it again.

>> Tiffanie: Very interesting.


You need to find your emotional intelligence again after a traumatic event

So how do you think people should start? Like you had this trauma happen and now you need to find your emotional intelligence again. You need to find how to help yourself, some self improvement. What helped you other than writing?

>> Rhonda : Because clearly, and that was later in life because the first trauma, like I said, was young. And I would say the very first thing is you have to really have a vision of what and how you want to proceed. Are you going to go the legal route? Are you going to move? Are you going to change your patterns? What is the safety plan that you need to put in place? Because everybody's different, situations different. And how do you want it handled? Because people will ask you like maybe if it's your daughter or your son. And they you as a parent might say, well, how do you want us to handle it? People sometimes don't know. So education and resources is the first thing. Slow down, don't make any decisions right away. You don't have to make it today. Obviously report the crime and those kind of things because you can't be safe if you haven't, especially if it's an ongoing threat, then you can't be safe unless you've reported it. Also you can get the no contact orders and safety. So do the legal stuff. But really internally for me it's a reflection. I'm m a big proponent of emotional intelligence, which basically is taking a scan of both internal and external feelings, emotions, biases, experiences and deciding okay, where am I at in this situation? But then you also have to scan the environment of those around you. And that's the hardest part. How are you going to tell everybody? how are you going to tell them? How are they going to handle it? So as the individuals around you being told or you're telling them or the police are telling them, what do they need? That's where you have to kind of step back even if you're the victim because they don't know how to react. You got to give them that space also that you need to get their emotions and ask them Those questions like, how do you feel about this? And then let's talk about it concretely. Emotional intelligence. The model itself says that you first scan your own emotions, then you scan others, and you do not react at all to any problem solving kind of decision until everybody has the empathy and the ability to move beyond the tension in the room. That's even in a board meeting, that's even in a, crime situation. So when you do that and you become emotionally intelligent about it, it's called an eq. When you get to the point that you're able to do that, then you can take the steps. And then for me, I use reflection in everything. And I'm not just talking about writing. I look at life from 13 dimensions. And I try to daily. I try to include something every day. It's the, physical. Maybe you need to go for a walk, maybe get on a treadmill and see if you're fearful. Maybe you need to do some stretching, maybe you need to do some breathing, those kind of things. That physical, ability to release what the body and mind has gone through. What is the plan to make sure you do that? The second one. Then you have your physical, you have your emotional. What does your emotions need? Do you need a therapist? Do you need religion? What is it that you need? We can. Nobody else can tell you what you need emotionally. And so you're gonna go through different things. When D'Angelo passed away, you know, you would think that everybody'd be around me, right? But a lot of people, they think, okay, it's over, it's done, he's gone. And they don't realize that's just the beginning for the ones left behind. And so I chose. I would lean on, like, family and friends sometimes. But for me, I found that it would hit when I was in the car or I was on a walk or I was alone. And a lot of times everybody was busy. They had their own lives. So I would pull into any religious building that was open. I didn't care if it was Christian, Muslim, Jewish, you know, I would pull in and I said, I got a problem. And the same thing. If there was a, healthcare play, a health, you know, mental health place open, I'd walk in and say, I just need to talk to somebody. And when I did that, not only did I create a community, it opened me up to ideas that was different than maybe I would have tried differently for my own religious purposes or whatever. And I, Sometimes I had the hands laid on me, sometimes I was on a mat, sometimes I was in an office. It didn't, you know, didn't matter. But what it was, I was able to reel m in, those emotions and identify them and claim them.


So you've got your emotions that you have to deal with too. So go through the dimensions of your life

So you've got your emotions that you have to deal with too. You know, also, there are other aspects of your life. It may hurt to have some financial repercussions for you, especially if it's a spouse situation or a child or the burial cost. There are so many aspects that you have to kind of go through that people don't even think about. So go through the dimensions of your life and make sure you're kind of keeping tabs because it can get away from you. All of a sudden, you open up the mail and you've had 10 late, late notices because you've thrown them all in the junk drawer because you didn't have the capacity to even open it up. So by being intentional in that moment and looking at how you want to handle things, integrity, values, all of those things, then you can create a model for yourself to survive.

>> Tiffanie: I just feel like emotions sometimes get the better of you. And so I. Yes, it's so important to take your time. Like, be gentle with yourself. Like you said, like, you don't have to have the answer that day. You shouldn't have the answer that day because you're probably on hostility or anger or, you know, you want to get revenge and all that stuff. And that's. You can't meet trauma with more trauma. It's not, it's not going to help.

>> Rhonda : Right? And what I sometimes do Google is your friend and let's say, and then. And actually I used three of them in Crossroads, used anger, fury, and then the other one was envy. All of them could cause a crime. But I would Google what does this, what is said about anger. And I found out Proverbs is a great. And Proverbs is in almost every religion at some point. It's a good religious book, whether it's the Bible or any of the others. So, anger is cruel. Fury is overwhelming. But who can stand before jealousy? Envy makes the bones rot. I use that in Crossroads. But I realized when I look for resources to name those emotions and then ask the question, what does the Bible say? Or what does Confucius say about these specific emotions that I'm feeling? I get good resources of, how they handle those emotions. And when you name it and you claim it, you're able to walk with dignity and pride and realize, oh, this is normal. This is what caused it. This is what my body does when it happens, this is how I can relax my body from this. So once you've named it and defined what it is and what, you know, whoever that you found, when you Google that thinks about that particular emotion, then you can actually start dealing with it.

>> Tiffanie: I never thought to do that. Google can be your friend. It's just if you have elbow pain, it's going to tell you you're going to die.

>> Rhonda : So. Yeah, and everybody, it's a symptom to everything. Right.

>> Tiffanie: Doesn't matter what it is, you gonna die.

>> Rhonda : The final version is death.

>> Tiffanie: Right.

>> Rhonda : Right.

>> Tiffanie: Well, sounds like you are like wise beyond your years. Like to think of like the route that you took. I can't say that I anyone has done that. So that is just like remarkable.

>> Rhonda : Well, thank you. Thank you. I really hope people get out of this conversation. It's. Yeah, we've given you some tips and we've given you a few traps to go look into. Like you said, Google. But it's also to give you hope if you're going through something like this. I was a small town girl from Knucklesville. Nothing was supposed to ever happen to me, but it did. And it happens to a lot of people also, you know that I moved into the big city. Guess what? It, hit me again. So what, you ended. It doesn't matter where you're at, it could happen. But have a process in place for handling any adversity that you go through. And for me, it has created maybe its own little monster in me where I want to spread joy and happiness and hope to everybody. Because guess what? If we don't do that for each other, who's going to do it for us? And so if you're in there stuck in your bed, stuck in a rut because something's happened to you, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, put that little jingle in the head. Ah. And if you need to, put Heat Miser on, because Heat Miser works too, because you're going to. Sometimes you get that anger going and your hair is sticking straight up and you're angry about it and you can sing that song too. But become that child that still has hope and vision for yourself and pick up resources like the podcast. And Tiffanie will be glad to share resources as she's with from her podcast that she's doing every single day. Because, you know, or, not maybe not every day. How often do you are you on now?

>> Tiffanie: Well, I release every week, but I do on my website. I have a whole list of resources.

>> Rhonda : A bunch of phone numbers that's Go, go visit it. My website. You'll see a lot of pictures. But I have resources, too, and I have a book coming out that's, about life balance and working through your issues and making sure you're touching all the things that are important, even when you're in trauma. Because every three years I do it, and that's to keep me on course and to make sure that I'm still pursuing joy and happiness. Tiffany's got all those resources out there. Make sure you go to her webpage and get it. Make sure you share this podcast to, others that you know that may be going through something. Because if we can stick together, we can be the glue that makes the world better. And maybe one day some of these problems and some of this victimization won't happen.

>> Tiffanie: Wouldn't that be nice?

>> Rhonda : oh, yes, it would. It would be nice to turn the television on and not, hear about violence. It would, absolutely. You turn it on and you like, 10 people killed here, and you're like, oh, my goodness, 10 different locations, whatever. You just can't escape it anymore.

>> Tiffanie: No, you can't, unfortunately.


There are 350 pages on silence in your book

But also, I mean, I feel like the news thrives on that stuff. They're like, how much of this can we push in front of you? So if it's overload, don't watch the news. Put on cartoons. Do something that's gonna make me smile. Yeah.

>> Rhonda : Music, you know, silence. Sometimes silence. I did a. I had to read a dissertation one time for a student, and it was 350 pages on silence. I never knew that there was that many things. Benefits, down points, selling points. Things that silence means. And sometimes silence is what your body craves. A lot of pages. It's a lot of pages for a.

>> Tiffanie: Ah, word that means. No. No words.

>> Rhonda : Right? No, nothing.

>> Tiffanie: Very interesting. I'm going to make sure that I link your book in the show notes and your website. Is there anything else that either you wanted to add or you want me to. Boom.

>> Rhonda : This is what it looks like. It's the crossroads. It's a truth, true sight. And then this is what the workbook cover looks like that's coming out after Christmas.

>> Tiffanie: Ooh, I like that. It's a devil. And he's. Yeah, he's deciding some stuff.


Rhonda Parker Taylor says she chooses to live because she honors her son

Is there any of your other socials that you would want me to list or just pretty much the website.

>> Rhonda : The book. Very easy. Yeah. You. It's very easy for people to find me. RhondaParkerTaylor.com is the website, and all the social media is Rhonda Parker Taylor. So if you want to come and visit, come visit. Holler at me. Put a comment in, and I'll respond as quickly as I can.

>> Tiffanie: Rhonda, you are so adorable. Like, I want to put you in my pocket like you. You really are. You're just, like, such a joy. And it's great, you know, to. To still be able to have that, because some people won't allow themselves to feel that way again. And it's a shame because it's like you're cutting your life in half. And so I'm just so happy that you gave yourself grace to actually live life and want to help others.

>> Rhonda : And that's my. My. My hope for everybody is that they do the same thing. I still have my dad. Bad days. You know, something we didn't talk about is every. My mom died on September 19th from breast cancer in 2004. My son was killed on September 19th, 2009. My father died September 19th, 2020. So there are certain moments in life that require me to be more intentional about it. So I'm not taking it lightly. I'm not taking any of you. Anybody out. There's pain lightly. The smile has been brought through work. The smile comes with the ability to understand that with every winner, there's a loser, and with every loser, there's a winner. And for me, I'm choosing to live because I want to honor my son. If, for instance, his birthday comes around, I know he likes steak. I'm having steak for dinner. I want to bring joy for my mother. I take her a Payday bar and put it next door right there so that she can eat it. And I swear she eats it every year because, guess what? The squirrels wouldn't take it from her. She wouldn't allow that. And it's gone, by the time I go visit her next time.

>> Tiffanie: I love that. Love that. Yeah. And give yourself grace. When you have the bad days, you're going to have bad days. You're human, so. But you can't live there. And so I. I love that. So I just want to say thank you so much.

>> Rhonda : Thank you. And I'm so glad you had me on. And we've been planning this for a while, so I've been watching for it because, you know, that's something that people don't talk about, and it's, something you need to talk about.


We do need to talk about what are our communities and our people going through

We do need to talk about what are our communities and our people going through.

>> Tiffanie: Right. Because it's every community.

>> Rhonda : Everyone. Yes.

>> Tiffanie: All right. So make sure you follow subscribe me and her and we will talk next time. Thank you.

>> Rhonda : Bye, everybody. Have a great night.