ELMER AND HIS MULE

A midnight ride, a surprise, then disaster; 
 all told at the famous Gas & Grill.

Transcript

Harvest is still chugging along.  

Combines are humming.  We see them here and there on the highway going to various fields.  Trucks are hauling their rewards to the Mississippi River to be sold too.  

Soy Beans are coming in now and they aren’t even done with the corn yet; still a long way to go.  

We were over to the Gas&Grill having a cup of coffee when Elmer dropped in to see what was going on.  Elmer and his wife Mimi started the Gas&Grill years ago.  They sold it to Jeremy who sold it during the pandemic.  Lisa Cromwell and her husband own it now.  

Well, as I was saying, Elmer dropped in and as usual a cluster of coffee drinkers gathered around to hear the latest.  Elmer is a colorful old guy and is always good for an interesting story or two.  He was the manager of our local electric coop.  He spent many years in that job and knew about everyone for a radius of 50 miles or so, first because of his position, and next because he and some other locals are Mule enthusiasts.   Mule rides are popular past time hereabouts.

Yup, he and several other guys in town go out coon and other varmint hunting on fall evenings such as the ones we’re having now.  The guys plan a two or three-night hunting escapade that includes setting up a tent and sleeping cots, cooking out, and riding Mules as the dogs chase varmints up a tree or whatever; lots of fun and comradery.

Larry and Harry Seawall, the twins were already sipping coffee, and right soon the talk turned to remembering old hunts they had on their Red Mules.  You may not be aware of this but there are Red Mules and Black Mules.  Mule owners, it seems are very particular of the color of their Mule.  There is a good bit of kidding going on between them as to which Mule is the smartest or which has done the most outlandish thing.  Elmer’s Mule Surry is black.

Larry and Harry are semi-retired, never married.  They live together in the old farmhouse they grew up in a mile or so south of town.  They talk of the times as kids they grew up farming with Mules.  Then tractors came along and farming changed but they made a side business out of breeding, training, and selling Mules.  They have trained Mules for many, many years.  

They stated unequivocally that Red Mules are more intelligent than Black Mules.  Elmer flat out refuted that and contended that Black Mules run faster and further than any Red Mule.  Off they went bickering back and forth citing Mule stories.

Eventually, Harry told us about the time the guys were out on a hunt over in Harry Nation which is just a few miles south of town.  They had been there two days having a good time.  It was the second evening about midnight.  There was a full moon.  The dogs were barking like crazy so they mounted up and let the dogs loose.  

The dogs picked up the scent of something and was running hard. The chase had gone on for a while through dense woods, over gullies, across streams.  It was exciting.  The dogs came out of the woods and headed across a small pasture with the Mule riders in hot pursuit.  All of a sudden, the dogs ran into something in the high grass and turned directly around in the path of the riders.  

Elmer’s Surry got tangled up in the dogs as they rushed out of the way of a black bear that was chasing them.  Surry fell.  Elmer tried to jump free but was caught under her.  His hip was broken but he didn’t know it yet.  When he finally got out from under Surry and got on his feet he was face to face with the black bear.  

They stood there for a second or two looking at each other, dogs barking like crazy.  Elmer pulled out his 44 and was going to shoot the bear but fell to the ground on account of the pain and the broken hip.  At exactly the same moment Surry, who had gotten to her feet, swirled around and kicked the bear a good one.  The bear tumbled end-over-end with the dogs attacking.  

The bear got up, looked around, then ambled off swatting at the dogs when they got too close.

That, it seems, was just the beginning of their problems as the party realized it was lost, at night, somewhere in Harry Nation, which is still mostly wild as you know.  The chase was exciting but they had lost their bearings in the dark.  They had no idea where their camp was, or where they could get help.  

Elmer was laying on the ground in pain.  Jeremy, Larry, and Fred stayed with Elmer while the others went for help.

Rudy Packer and Howie Johnson rode off in different directions to see if they could find someone to help.   Howie went all the way to Lancaster before he found people and then he didn’t know how to get back to where Elmer was.  

After wandering around in the dark for a while, Rudy found a dirt trail that led to the Mc Gregor place.  

Rudy woke up the whole McGregor household with his noise and hollering.  Mac came to the door with a lantern held high in one hand and a shotgun in the other.   He wasn’t exactly happy to see a stranger banging on his door and raising a fuss in the middle of the night.  Eventually, when Rudy told of the fix they were in, Mac mellowed a bit.  By then the wife and kids were all peaking around the door to see what was up.  

In time, Mac hitched his team and wagon to fetch Elmer but finding him was a problem.  It was almost dawn when they smelled smoke which drew them to the fire the guys had built to keep Elmer comfortable.  

Lifting Elmer onto the wagon was painful.  The ride to Lancaster and the hospital took an eternity of pain according to Elmer.    

Elmer said, that at the time it was no laughing matter, but then, without a pause took off on a different story about how the whole group of Mule riders went back to McGregor’s just to thank him for what he did.   Just an excuse for another Mule Ride.

Louise Meyer came in and sat down while Harry was telling the story.  Louise teaches elementary kids at the central county school in Bloomfield.  

When there was a break in storytelling she asked Larry, “Why are Mules so stubborn?” 

Harry jumped right out of his chair as if he’d been shocked.

“Donkeys and Mules have been unfairly labeled as “stubborn” he exclaimed, waving his hand for emphasis.  

“In fact,” Larry interrupted, God gave Mules two brains.  They are very smart.

“Absolutely,” Harry affirmed.  

And you can see which one you’re dealing with,” Larry continued.  You just look them directly in the eye.  You can see it.  Either the “I want to learn what you’re teaching me brain, or the brain that says “I’m not going to do anything you tell me, looks right back at you.”

“You have to start by building confidence,”  Harry said.  “Show them respect.  Take good care of them.  And when you see that positive eye looking right back at you, it’s amazing what you can teach them and what they’ll do for you.” 

Larry added, “You know, I’ve seen that look in the eyes of people from time to time.  I’ve got an idea that it’s true for kids in school too.  What do you think Louise?”

Louise pondered the advice offered by the two confirmed bachelors and replied, “I’ll consider that next time I run into a “stubborn” student.

If you’re interested in Mules, Larry and Harry are ready and willing to fill you in.

So, that’s it for now.

From where the corn grows tall and the pigs fly.

All my love

Grampa Jim