What to Know Down Below™
Welcome to What to Know Down Below™ by Tina’s Wish! We’re here to empower you with the knowledge and tools you need to advocate for your own gynecologic health.
Knowledge is power, and we encourage everyone to join us in learning more about what you need to know, down below!
What to Know Down Below™
Navigating a Career & a Cancer Diagnosis
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A conversation between two ovarian cancer warriors on resilience, career and life after a diagnosis.
Entrepreneur, broadcast journalist, and PR executive Michelle Mekky sits down with financial advisor Alissa Quinn for an honest, heartfelt conversation. Together, they share their journeys and reflect on the challenges of balancing a high-pressure career with a life-changing diagnosis, offering hope, strategies and inspiration.
Welcome to what to Know Down Below. By Tina's Wish, we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools you need to advocate for your own gynecologic health. Knowledge is power, and we encourage everyone to join us in learning more about what you need to know down below.
Speaker 2Hello everyone. Thank you so much for joining us today for what to Know, down Below by Tina's Wish. My name is Michelle Meche. I'm a proud ovarian cancer survivor entrepreneur, broadcast journalist and PR executive. I'm really thrilled to be here for today's episode on a topic obviously that's very personal to me as an ovarian cancer survivor, and even more excited to introduce my fellow ovarian cancer survivor, alisa Quinn, who is a financial advisor with the Quinn Wealth Management Group. Welcome to the podcast, fellow warrior survivor.
Speaker 2Today we're diving into what it's like to navigate a cancer diagnosis while managing a high-pressure career. Both of us have been through quite a bit, I would imagine. We'll talk about the challenges, the shifts in perspective that we dealt with at work and beyond, and strategies to really help our audience get through this difficult time. So before I dive in and hear your story, elise, I'll just give you and the audience a summary of mine. It's been almost 11 years now that I was diagnosed. I can't believe it. It feels like yesterday. It's such a traumatic thing to go through that it stays with you the rest of your life, as I'm sure you know, but for me it was August of 2014.
Speaker 2I went in for an annual exam and I had no symptoms that I could recognize and suddenly was told I have a growth in my ovary and needed to find an oncologist. And I was stunned. And once I did, he told me there was only a 10% chance that it was benign. But I still believed no way, no way, Like there's no way that this is cancerous. You know, I was working 80 hours a week, I was a very successful PR executive but I was not taking care of myself I will say that. But I didn't really feel any pain or symptoms. So after the surgery I woke up and I was told it was a seven-hour surgery which was supposed to only be four hours. My husband told me I had a hysterectomy, which I knew was not a good sign and that it was cancer. So my life forever changed that day, not thinking that I would survive.
Speaker 2In the end I got very lucky. I was told two weeks later by the most amazing oncologist I was lucky to have that I was only stage one. It was the earliest stage ovarian and someone's watching over me. So still, of course, had a brutal surgery to recover from the trauma of going through what a cancer diagnosis is and much more beyond that. But I'm thrilled to say today that, still going strong, many things have changed in my life which I will share, including the birth of my business, mechie Media.
Speaker 2Going through something like that really led me down that path of becoming an entrepreneur, which I felt was really the best way for me to balance my life and my career after being diagnosed. So there's hope for anyone out there who's going through this that it doesn't have to define you. You know you truly can overcome just about anything. So that's a bit about me, you know. I want to thank you again, Elisa, for being here, really really grateful to share space with you today. Can you first just give us a little introduction of who you are, your career, background and then your ovarian cancer journey?
Speaker 3Thank you so much, michelle. And what an amazing story and it truly is an honor and a privilege to be with you today and I really appreciate your sharing that part of our journey together, that part of our journey together. So my professional background is I started in the financial services industry in 1987. I was hired as the only woman financial advisor in my office of 25 consultants. I started at the World Trade Center with 51 in my training program and 11 of which were women financial advisors on the whole East Coast, and within one year I was the only female financial advisor left in the program. So it was quite an auspicious beginning to this industry and so I began as a financial advisor, built an entrepreneurial business with the ability to connect with individuals, one-on-one Client families, individual women, couples, business owners, building relationships. For this is now my 38th year in the industry and it has been quite remarkable journey as a professional individual, the first part of my professional career. I actually became a sales manager in 1997 and had two children. They are now almost 28 and 32. And that is the miraculous part of my story that I just have two amazing young adult children.
Speaker 3I began in the industry at a time where it truly was an entrepreneurial venture, and so you develop relationships one on one, and I did that for the first couple of decades of my career. And then I was asked to take over the business of a gentleman who was getting ready to retire and I thought, well, that is a wonderful stroke of luck, and I'm thrilled that he selected me out of the 25 advisors in the office, and so I hired a junior partner to help me, as I was expecting my second child and I wanted to find work-life balance, which I know we're going to talk a lot about in this session and, interestingly enough, I chose to hire a junior partner, found this individual who turned into be my best friend in the world, and we worked together, side by side, for 25 years. So we worked very hard that's the moral of that story to develop where we were Fast forward. I had been with the same firm for 22 years and one of the professional managers that I worked with had transitioned to a different firm, and a year later we followed so fast forward to 2013,. I was working professionally in the same capacity. I was a professional ballroom dancer, following in the footsteps of my two parents, who danced together for 54 years. Amazing, beautiful, beautiful love story of a lifetime. And I was very active in my business community and I had two phenomenal young adult children.
Speaker 3So life was going along incredibly well and in the beginning part of 2013, I had my normal gynecological exam. Everything appeared to be normal and within a very short period after that, I noticed that I was having some unusual symptoms and decided that it was time to get medical counsel set up an appointment. Tried to set up an appointment with my OBGYN, said I did not need to be seen by a doctor, that it was perfectly normal for me as a perimenopausal woman and that I did not need to be seen. So I hung up the phone at that point in time. A week later, the symptoms persisted and I decided to call back again and say you know, this is not a normal symptom for me. I know my own body. Long story short, I had to be very assertive. I had to advocate for myself until I got an appointment. When I went to that appointment, the examination was an ultrasound and at that point in time the doctor came in and said okay, you have an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit and I'll be the one to take it out.
Speaker 3In terms of surgery and at that moment in time that was a physician that I'd seen for 10 years I had felt like I was annoying the medical practice to get in to be seen and it was disconcerting that here I was feeling something was wrong and something needed to be addressed and it was not being taken seriously. Now I was being faced with something very serious and that this individual was simply going to do the surgery. So I really needed to use my professional skills as a business person to be able to advocate for myself and began asking a lot of questions, which is okay. You know, how many times have you done this surgery? What is the risks of this surgery? How can this surgery be done? Can it be done laparoscopically? Does it need to be, you know, just removing ovaries? Is it removing, you know, full hysterectomy?
Diagnosis Journey and Medical Challenges
Speaker 3And the reality is I was not comforted by the information that I was getting at that point in time. So I did ask for were there local specialists that could see me for a second opinion? And very, very I felt that I was dismissed, in all honesty, that it was not something that I would get into the top specialists in our area based on his practice being so busy, I had to assert myself again and again to be able to attempt to get an appointment with that physician and what I discovered was it's who you know and how you can get connected to see the medical profession. So it is a very interesting story how I got into seeing that particular specialist and I'll talk more about that in some of the questions coming up. But that's the overall backdrop. And here I am, literally 12 years later. I like to think of myself as a thriver. I prefer that term versus survivor or veteran. They're all great words, but I choose the term I'm a thriver.
Speaker 2Yes, I love that word too. We are both thrivers and, you know, connected in so many ways because of this disease and our experiences. So now, so tell us. So then you had the surgery and did you have to have chemo? You know what was your path to healing, and did you have to have chemo?
Speaker 3What was your path to healing? So at that point in time, after the ultrasound, the only words that they said was that I had a cyst. That was the only words that were used. So at that point in time, trying to get into the specialist for an ovarian cyst, I was told that it might take quite some time to be able to get in. I felt that this was time sensitive. So this is where I began to use my networks and I have created in my lifetime what I will call impact circles, and the first impact circle that I created was in 1989.
Speaker 3As the only woman financial advisor in my office, I created a synergistic circle of women, each in different disciplines. So one in medicine, one in law, one in advertising, one in printing services, small business owners, 20 executive business women with different disciplines, and we met for breakfast or lunch or dinner, literally for 25 years. One of the women in that group was an attorney who defended physicians. So, with that team of women, I called upon them to see how I could get into this particular specialist, and it was the attorney who said oh, this gentleman, I'll text him right now. And she, literally, at 10 o'clock at night texted him to say I have a friend who has an ovarian cyst. Is that something that you could see her on? And he texted back immediately yes. Then she used the term if it's cancer, is that something that you could see her on? And at that moment in time nobody had used the big C word at all and I was just shocked that that was even being thrown around at that point in time. So I just let it rest. So, bottom line.
Speaker 3I went to see the specialist. He said to me that he did not believe that it was ovarian cancer. He felt that I had a very complex case. I had a very complex cyst. It did need to be removed traditionally and not laparoscopically. So with that information I felt that was an important backdrop. He was an outstanding physician. I felt a very good trust relationship with him. But I also felt I needed to have a second opinion.
Speaker 3So I went to Sloan Kettering again using my networks in my first impact circle, the Professional Women's Network, and was able to get the top specialist at Sloan Kettering, decided to go to New York City, got a second opinion and after waiting two and a half hours in the waiting room, in all honesty I had to go into the physician's office by myself. My spouse at the time was not allowed to come in with me and the doctor said to me straight out I don't know what you've been told, but you very likely do have ovarian cancer. And again, my local physician absolutely did not believe that to be the case, or at least that's not what he chose to share with me at that time. And the reality is there's not a biopsy for ovarian cancer. The surgeon goes in and then they're able to do slides biopsies at that point and then send it to the lab.
Speaker 3So I did undergo full hysterectomy locally in my community. I found that the surgery to be I have been fairly physically fit, really focused on my nutrition and health. I did not find that to be an overly difficult surgery to get through. I really felt like I was able to recover within a few weeks. What I had not anticipated was hearing those words several days later after they came back with the results and the only thing that my oncologist said to me is okay. So here's the plan You'll have three months of radiation, six months of chemotherapy, three months of radiation and it's all going to be fine.
Speaker 3And at that point in time, he never used the term you have any other symptoms other than this slight symptom.
Speaker 3And it was absolutely still shocking to me because I felt so good.
Speaker 3In fact, I had done a ballroom dance boot camp, as they called it, and my son offered to do it with me, which was just absolutely a wonderful, magnificent experience to spend that quality time with him as a nod to his mama, and so I was feeling so good that I could not possibly imagine I think that's what we want our listeners to know is that they do call it the silent disease for a reason, because there are not symptoms that some of us experience, and so we have to be incredibly perceptive of our own bodies. We have to advocate for ourselves to be seen and to have diagnostic tools at our disposal, because without it I, absolutely positively, would not have in a million years thought I had cancer. I don't ever think I use the term denial. I just felt so well that I felt that there would have to be a signal in my body of some kind, and for me, I didn't feel that. So it was very shocking for me to hear those words and that diagnosis.
Speaker 2Wow, well, that's quite a story. I mean, there's so many things that I want to touch on within that story. I mean, clearly there's so many still unknowns with this disease in the medical community and you get different answers from different people, which is one issue, right, that we have to deal with and we truly have to advocate for ourselves and anything we feel until we get the answer that we really need. And the second thing is, you know, finding the right doctor. You know, for me, I also, you know, used my network. I asked my boss at the time, I asked other people I knew, you know, and I did get two overriding responses back and I called both of them, but I couldn't get into one for three weeks and I said I was just told that I have a huge tumor inside of me. How am I going to sit for three weeks? Three weeks is nothing. Actually, I've come to learn now. People wait months, right.
Speaker 2But the person who was able to see me the next day turned out to be my oncologist, dr Ernst Langell, who I shared a panel with for Tina's Wish many years later. So it was very much full circle. But truly the fact that we didn't feel much, you know we felt okay is the big, is the big red flag I want to share and make sure we emphasize, but also that you know there's still so many unknowns that it comes down to us as women, really being in tune with our body. You were someone that was always fit and taking care of yourself. I was someone that was a workaholic and definitely was not fully aware of what I was feeling in my body and thought bloating might be from stress or from not having a healthy dinner the night before. Not that it could actually be cancer growing in my body.
Speaker 2So I think that's what's so frightening, especially for busy career women like us who were very smart. We know how to get things done. We know, like you said, you built an impact circle. That's a tremendous tip for everyone listening. Make sure you have your own impact circle, right, because everyone is so resourceful in our lives. But until you ask for what you need you know, you don't know what's really at your fingertips. Uh, and many people now ask me for a doctor, a recommendation, you know a tip, and and that's what I feel like my calling is now in life is truly to teach others and give back. But, um, I think there's just so many fascinating themes about your story and, by the way, ballroom dancing. I became a ballroom dancer recently too. So then we have another thing in common, and absolutely nothing makes me happier than hitting the dance floor, but we'll talk more about that in a few minutes.
Speaker 3Follow up with you, michelle, just to continue the story. So the other part that I think is so important for our listeners is, although I was told at that moment in time this is what was the treatment process for me, again, I was just trying to process that information and I took it from my oncology specialist as gospel that that is what needed to happen. And so, using my impact circles again, one of them is in ballroom dance circles and there are professionals that we see and have danced with for many, many years. But when I heard that I was going to have to undergo chemotherapy, I said to the studio owner I guess I'm not going to see you for six months or nine months or a year. And somebody had overheard our conversation and said, if you ever need a second opinion, my husband, that is his specialty. And I just looked at her and said your husband, the one I've been dancing with for 10 years, his specialty is actually oncology. She said yes, again, we've never talked about that on the dance floor. So I leaned into that you know, impact informal circle and I asked him to take a look at the radiology report and the diagnostic information that I got after surgery and he took a look at the information and he came back to me and he said huh, I'll just simply tell you, if you were my wife, my sister, my mother, a female member of my family, I can see why chemotherapy would be needed, because that's an insurance policy on this never reoccurring in your body again, which is important. The reality is you had surgery to remove all of the cancer but it could come back in a variety of cells. So I understand that In your particular case, based on the diagnostic information I have, I do not understand why radiation is being recommended. Have I do not understand why radiation is being recommended. So that was very important information.
Speaker 3So at that point in time I tried to have a very balanced approach to doing enough research to be very well informed as a patient without getting overborne. So I was scaring myself beyond belief of going down the internet rabbit hole. So at that point I felt that it was important to get a second opinion and potentially a third opinion because of what his perspective was, and he was a top specialist in our area. So he recommended two specialists, one at Mass General in Massachusetts and the other at Johns Hopkins. And then I needed to get those second opinions and I worked with my local lab and the local lab, interestingly enough, was very resistant to my getting these second and third opinions because that person perceived that it was not covered under my insurance plan. Now I had a very good insurance policy and I navigated.
Speaker 3After surgery, I'm sitting in bed trying to convalesce, to get healthy and really recuperate while working full time. I wanted to make sure that I could get these opinions. I called the insurance companies, I called dozens and dozens and dozens of times to make sure that I could get the information that I needed and she just kept saying it's not covered by insurance. We will not release this information unless we know it's covered by insurance. And so desperate, I literally called in my networks again and they had suggested go directly to the doctors. I was being led to believe that the second opinion may be a astronomical amount of money.
Speaker 3So finally I took matters into my own hands. I got out my holiday Christmas card with my two beautiful children on there and just wrote a personalized note to the doctors and said I'm just looking for a second opinion. I'm having some roadblocks here. Can you read these slides? And both doctors you know called me immediately and said oh, you know, we're very happy to help you, we just need the slides. I said I'm having trouble getting the slides to you because they're not saying they'll be released unless it's covered by insurance. I said, can I ask you a question, how much does your second opinion cost? And I am really thinking this is going to be a massive, massive amount of money. And they said $250.
Speaker 3And I had made literally weeks of my life calling every single insurance, every single Palawa, the lab, every single day, being politely persistent to be able to get answers, and literally was not led to believe that it was as simple as writing a check.
Speaker 3Now, that is a man of money, but in comparison to what I thought it was going to be was going to save my life or change the trajectory of my life, right. So, bottom line, I wrote those checks and I had to get the slides from one medical center to another medical center, bottom line. Long story short, all of those opinions came back and my local physician said we're going to convene a tumor board. Who knew of such a thing? They convened the tumor board of all of these specialists and came back with a recommendation that no radiation was recommended. So I felt for me personally, that was a massive win, not because I wasn't willing to undergo anything that would save my life, but I also didn't feel it was necessary to undergo something that could diminish the quality of my life, because I never gave into the fact that I would not live a long life.
Speaker 3I was determined to be here. I had health and wellness and no family history on my side of the family. So again for me, I felt very strongly that this was a bump in the road. I never allowed myself to feel anything differently, but I was going to assert myself to make sure that I would do the treatment that would save my life, but not more, because there could be side effects from undergoing radiation unnecessarily that could impact the quality of my life. So it was leaning into these impact circles, leaning into the connections I have, asserting myself, continuing to make sure I was heard and I could follow through and lean on the people that I surrounded myself with.
Speaker 2Well, that is unbelievable. Thank you for sharing all of that. Clearly, you definitely made a difference in your own future and your own treatment by believing what you felt in your gut was true, using your impact circles and then finding solutions. So congratulations on that. I think those are all unbelievable lessons for people listening to know.
Speaker 2I was very lucky in that it was mine was caught early enough where they didn't even recommend chemo or radiation, which you know was interesting, because you feel like, oh my gosh, I have cancer. Of course I'm going to have that, but that was really a blessing for me and my recovery and being able to, to you know, get back to work a lot sooner. But that leads me to my next question getting back to work. You know, for me it was very traumatic. You know, being told I had cancer, you know, going through hysterectomy, but it was the shock of knowing that it was cancerous and knowing how I didn't feel much in my body but still it was there was very scary to me. And even though I do have family history, my mom survived colon cancer no, I didn't really have anyone in the family with ovarian but it took me a lot to really kind of mentally prepare to get back to work.
Navigating Career During Cancer Treatment
Speaker 2However, I was working for someone who really, really relied on me. I mean, I was number two in the agency. I was the sole person running the Chicago office. We had about 25 employees at the time and I felt very bad, like I had to rush back. So I pushed myself to really go back as soon as possible. I still had some nerve damage in my leg from the surgery and struggled with exhaustion a bit still. I wasn't 100%, but I did go back to work and once I was there, I realized, wow, I think I needed more time to recover, but I felt like the obligation, like because I'm a career woman, because I have this big job, I have to just, you know, snap back and go back to work. What was the experience for you? Were you able to maintain your career? Well, during this process and, you know, did some of your perspectives change about you know being? Some of your perspectives change about you know being in the working world?
Speaker 3now that you've gone through this, yeah, so my experience was because I did have to undergo chemotherapy. That was clearly terrifying. Yeah, I did as much research as I could to mentally prepare myself, physically prepare myself. I went on, you know, just you know green smoothie blends and walking and yoga and meditation and kept my ballroom dancing front of mind to really heal from the surgery and prepare for the next step, which was chemotherapy. I knew that from a professional persona and image.
Speaker 3Appearance was extremely important to me, just based on my profession, being in working every day with clients face-to-face and very active in my business community. So my first thing is how am I going to keep my image intact so that I can continue to have a productive work experience? And so the first thing that I felt I needed to do was explore every type of option. For was I going to lose all my hair? Yes, I was going to lose all my hair. I explored the cold caps, I explored everything that I could possibly think of that would minimize the impact that it would have on my appearance and bottom line ended up researching just opportunities in my local community to get fitted for a wig. And so I found a local salon and I found a wonderful, wonderful, caring, compassionate provider who was able to do wig fittings with me. When I went to pick up the wig, I asked another friend to come with me as a just to be a buddy. I asked another friend to come with me as a just to be a buddy, and so I said here's. The drill is, I'll only come out, you know, with the wig if I feel comfortable enough to do that.
Speaker 3And so I went in and put the wig on. I actually tucked all my hair, you know, inside. So when I came out, I said you know, let's go. And she's like, you know, she's like, oh, okay, fine. So she think I, she thinks I didn't go through with it. And so that was my first litmus test is that I actually had the wig on. And when we got outside of the salon I said so what do you think? And she goes, what do you mean? I know you weren't comfortable. You said let's just go and I said no. So what do you think? And I looked at her she goes, she goes. I absolutely would not have known. I absolutely would not have known. So it was the first litmus test that I could fool my best friend.
Speaker 3So bottom line not only did I have that wig, but then I felt very important to have other wigs because my very busy schedule. So I purchased two for work so I always had a fresh wig for work and two for my walking and active, rigorous workouts walking in the neighborhood or doing my ballroom dance. And then two others I created into updos because I was still doing ballroom dance performances and I needed the whole look. So what I did and this is a great tip for anybody that has to undergo chemotherapy I bought these wigs online and then I brought them to my hairdresser. I put them on my head, clipped them into place and then my hairdresser cut the wigs as if she was cutting my own hair. So when I walked out, I literally looked as close to myself as possible and that was freedom for me, freedom to live my life consistent with what I was doing, just to get through this next phase. And it was not only going to be, you know, the six months. My hair being shoulder length, it was going to take a year or two for my length hair to come back. So I was going to have these wigs as a lifeline to my normal way of living. So, bottom line, I had all those wigs prepared when I started chemotherapy.
Speaker 3I will say that the bedside manner of the nurse who greeted me on my first day of chemotherapy was not the kindest. It was a sad situation of this particular nurse, for, whatever her background is, whatever issues she might've been dealing with in her own life, she simply had said to me you're not supposed to be here. And I said, well, I think I'm fairly certain I'm supposed to be here. And she goes do you have a purple sheet? And I'm like, yes, here it is. And she, oh, do you have a purple sheet? And I'm like, yes, here it is. And she, oh, sit down. And you know, I'm in a room with armchairs, with IV poles everywhere, with one of my dear friends.
Speaker 3So every one of the six chemotherapy treatments I went to, I brought a dear buddy. They would pick me up, we would pick up lunch together, they would drive me, they would stay with me the whole day. They were dear, dear, treasured friends and they witnessed what I went through and they were there by my side. So again, I was able to lean on the impact circles that I created. The second one I created was executive women who choose to have families, of which I felt very strongly. So the first group many were what we call the career track women and some chose to have families. But I wanted another impact circle dedicated just to executive women who chose to have families, because that was my top priority and I wanted to stay at an executive level, a business level, run my practice as best as I could. So I wanted to do both. So I leaned in many of the women in the second group because they knew what I would be going through and they were my chemo buddies and I had six of them, one for every single treatment.
Speaker 3So I would go in for chemos on Mondays.
Speaker 3For five days I was in the fetal position in bed with my little phone, working remotely to the best of my ability with my laptop, literally just trying to get through the week by Saturday.
Speaker 3Miraculous of all miracles. I would be like the Energizer Bunny and I was back and Saturday and Sunday, and then I would be at work the following two weeks and I had a tremendous business team two other women, my best friend and another business partner who were there to help with our client base at that point in time. But I honestly worked the entire time because of taking care not only of myself and of my family and my children, but I felt very strongly about taking care of my clients and that was really important, so I did put myself as the priority, as I needed to. So I did put myself as the priority, as I needed to. However, I worked through the entire chemotherapy treatment process. I took those five days to work remotely, but the rest of the time I worked at the office and I did exactly what I would do, taking care of myself, my family and all of my clients through the entire six-month process.
Speaker 2Wow, I mean, I can't even imagine the strength that that took. I mean, did you even know that you had that in you?
Speaker 3I did not know. When I asked the physician my surgeon I said when it came to my fifth treatment of chemo and it was going to land on Thanksgiving that year I just said is it at all possible that we just postponed this one chemo treatment so I can have Thanksgiving with my family? And he said no, you need to keep on this schedule. It's my job to keep you as safe as I can. And I respected that decision. I trusted that decision.
Speaker 3My family had Thanksgiving on the first floor and I did not have Thanksgiving that year and it was extremely emotional, it was extremely difficult, but I knew I just had a power through. I would give thanks for being alive at the end of this process and I also felt so validated in that because I pushed so hard to not have the radiation treatments. It would allow me to do two things, and that was participate in a ballroom dance show that January where I could show my strength and I could show healing and I could show determination that I was going to dance through this darn cancer. And the second was that I was invited to an industry conference for top advisors in the country and that was something I was extremely proud to do, and I chose the opportunity to use it as a platform to share my story with the gals of other financial advisory firms at that conference, and I got a standing ovation and women who just so appreciated my sharing the rawness, the vulnerability, the authenticity of what I had just experienced.
Creating Impact Circles for Support
Speaker 3But I was there to support my family, to support myself and to support my clients throughout this whole journey and it was a gift to be able to do those two things by pushing to be able to do what I knew in my heart was the right process. I would do anything to save my life, anything but I did not want to do something that I felt was just a cookie cutter formula. So it did prove to be the right combination for me and I fought for that. And the chemotherapy process was excruciating. I'm not going to minimize it. The nausea, the pain was very, very difficult, but I just felt I'm always going to get over this mountain. I'm going to live, because I had two phenomenal children to live for.
Speaker 2Yes, that became my beacon of light as well. I also have two kids that are 21 and 23 today. They were only 10 and 12 at the time and the thought of them potentially not having a mother was out of the question for me. So I think that also helped me find the fire to want to survive.
Speaker 2For me, my work story is a little bit different. I didn't have my own business at the time. I was working for someone and did kind of rush back to work and realized I kind of probably could use one day from home. This was the day back in the day when we were all in offices all the time and tried to get one day to work from home and she said no, you know. She said I would have to adjust, she'd have to adjust my salary to make that happen. And I was just devastated, you know, because I really was struggling and it took a client to see me in the office one day and say what are you doing here? You look exhausted, like why are you back at work? Why aren't you working from home? And I said that's I don't really have a choice, you know, and it was other people that started to really advocate for me. That taught me the importance of finding my inner strength to really take care of myself. I you know. I really applaud you. You, it seems like you're so strong internally that you knew right away what you needed to do, whether you knew the steps. You knew you had to fight for yourself. I just thought I'm destined to just work for someone else and follow the rules and when I'm told no, I'm told no right. But it took me several years to finally. I went to another agency after that because it wasn't working out for me and again was sort of in that very high demand work, you know atmosphere that I still didn't feel like I was the same person.
Speaker 2After being diagnosed I was changed and I wanted to find the right place. Still I had to work. It wasn't like I could just immediately do yoga and work out every day and not work. I still was very much a career woman, very high achieving person. So I had to find the right answer.
Speaker 2And it was only when I was after the cancer diagnosis my third agency I lost my job that I came home and I looked at my husband I said, oh my God, what am I going to do? And he said you're going to start your own business. You know how to do this. You know everyone. You have all the right connections. I've watched you all these years. Now it's time to do it for yourself.
Speaker 2After what you've been through, you have to take the reins on your life. You know, and I didn't believe him, I didn't think I could do it, but here we are. You know, I'm now nine years into my business. We've grown tremendously and we have clients across the nation, and I'm very proud of Meki Media, but I feel like it was truly inspired by going through ovarian cancer and realizing the importance of advocating for ourselves. So you know you talk about it in many different arenas. You know you had to do it when it comes to work. I guess my question to you is was it just automatic? You knew that you had to continue, you weren't going to let anything stop you and you were going to balance this. However, you need it to.
Speaker 3That's exactly that and, interestingly enough, I share this very honestly is I kept my circle of contacts very small initially to be able to navigate what I needed to do to navigate. I think part of my confidence comes from I had two amazing, amazing parents who loved our family with four siblings beyond, beyond, and gave us the foundation number one of education and of love, and so I had that strong core belief and I am one of the lucky ones I understand. I am incredibly blessed to have had that in my family. My mother is an immigrant from South America, my father is first generation Italian and I am blessed beyond belief to have had that in my family. My mother is an immigrant from South America, my father is first generation Italian and I am blessed beyond belief to have had that. I also felt that it was critically important that I be strong for my clients to be able to navigate taking care of them, because I do have an important role in their lives of taking care of their financial needs, and so I chose not to tell any other than my immediate team members and my manager, not to share with any of my professional colleagues, and I just navigated through that process on my own, with the help of my team, who were tremendous. But I also felt that I do work in an industry where it is intense, it is difficult and I, as the breadwinner of my family, felt this was important for my children's future, for saving for their college educations. I am a financial advisor and I've always advocated for having a plan and working your plan, and so I was absolutely strategic in putting all of my focus in keeping myself healthy and keeping my family healthy and focused and taking care of my clients. So it wasn't until I was done with the entire chemotherapy experience, felt that I truly was going to be out, the other side, where I even remotely began to tell one other colleague at a time, and it was interesting, it was challenging, it was intense because I just needed to focus on the things that were most pressing and that was taking care of my family and myself and my clients, and I put them first always, and then I could navigate, communicating to my community.
Speaker 3When I was ready and I will tell you this I went to the American Cancer Society gala in our town as a very beautiful, wonderful fundraising event in a very glamorous hotel and they're going around the room and raising money for somebody who has passed away, in memory of, in support of, and when it came around to my table, I just said it is time, alisa, you need to begin to open up and share. And so it was at that moment in time I raised my paddle and I just said this is for me. And all of the professionals around the table were in black tie gowns and they just whipped their heads around and they were like oh my God, here we have the unpleasant dinners conversation would have had no idea I was wearing my wig at the time. Nobody would have had any idea. And it was at that moment I just felt the opportunity to share.
Speaker 3And that's when the idea came to me to have yet a third impact circle that I created. And I saw one woman across the room who was a really revered professional woman, who, she and her husband, owned a restaurant chain, and I beelined it over to this woman and I said Hello, dear Jane, I'm thinking about putting together a healing circle for executive women touched by any type of cancer and we would meet to support each other once a month for dinner and be there for each other, because nobody understands exactly until you've heard those words. We will be a support, impact circle for each other. She said, I'm in.
Speaker 3And there began my third impact circle, called passion, purpose and legacy. And it is every type of cancer but bottom line it is leaning on each other for shared experiences, for collective wisdom, for authenticity, for vulnerability, to know we can get through hard things if we lean on each other, if we're there for each other. And so this third circle impact circle, has been extraordinarily a gift. When we talk about our cancers, your gift is your entrepreneurship here going forward. My gift, my pride and joy is that I've created these circles and brought the right, wonderful, incredible, brave, strong, courageous women together to be there to support each other. And that circle has now been meeting for 11 years and it is just an incredible blessing.
Speaker 3We have lost four gals along our journey. I changed the name from Passion and Purpose PAP that acronym to Passion, purpose and Legacy after we lost the matriarch of our healing circle and so sad to see her pass on. But it is these connections. It is the hard work that we have to do, but I never let myself think for one moment that I was not coming out this other side because of my children and because of strong faith in my ability to heal and to do what I needed to do to advocate for myself, but to live, to be here. Advocate for myself, but to live, to be here for my children, for my family, for my clients, for a very long time to come.
Speaker 2That's wonderful. Well, impact circles seem to be a brilliant idea because that I am all about women, supporting women and finding people who really can help lift you up when you need it. And I've been contacted by many people who've been diagnosed, who are looking for answers, looking for support and always trying to match people with other people. I know that have gone through it, but Impact Circle sounds like a brilliant way to really fill that void right that a lot of us feel when we're first diagnosed.
Speaker 3And along those lines I'll just share with you. Simply, as coincidence would have, I am in the process of publishing a book, my first book. It's a memoir. It is called the Power of Impact Circles. I share my personal life story in a way to be able to have it be a blueprint, a call to action for anybody listening, whether it's a young man or a young woman, somebody diagnosed with ovarian cancer, somebody navigating a challenge in their life, somebody navigating through any type of unique situation. The key is very simple Create, find ways to connect with other like-minded individuals. Have a simple form. It could start off with three to five people, it could grow to more, but it is simply making sure that you find like-minded people that are willing to share in a collective synergy and wisdom about anything. And that's why I took the time to write the book and so, in the fall, you will find it anywhere at your local bookstore or online, and I am really proud of that project, to have seen it through, because it wasn't as much of a healing, cathartic process for me, but it was for the reader. And I'll tell you one specific thing that I can share about my experience with Tina's Wish, which was incredible the fact that my firm chose to highlight Tina's Wish and I learned about this organization incredible work that they do and I was invited after the presentation online to go to the MIT lab in Massachusetts, not far from both of my children, and to go to and listen to cutting edge research that is being done on ovarian cancer as we speak Incredible. I actually had my daughter, who is my business partner in my financial advisory practice, and she and I went together and we learned so much.
Speaker 3That evening I drove home and I wondered whether I was going to post my experience about that. It's a very personal experience. It is only impacting certain women who have ovarian cancer and I really questioned is this worthy of a full post? And I said, absolutely, just put it out there. You don't know who you could touch. I placed it out on my social media platform. Know who you could touch? I placed it out on my social media platform and literally the next day I got a text message from a fellow ballroom dancer and she said this I come from a family of four women diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I don't want to be the fifth. And at that moment I just stopped everything. I called her immediately.
Speaker 3We had a conversation and my first question is okay, so thank you so much for sharing that. What is your doctor doing? What are the proactive steps are you taking? Have you had a CA-125 blood test? Have you had an ultrasound? Have you had any kind of diagnostic screening? Have you done anything? Where is you? Do you have any? I asked a litany of questions. Have you done anything? Where is you? Do you have any? I asked a litany of questions. Her answer sent shivers, shivers through my body. She said my doctor has not recommended I do anything. And I said with a family history of four people in your family women close to you, mothers, sisters, aunts I was speechless and I said I will just simply share my own experience.
Speaker 3And here are some things. You decide what you feel is important. But here is where I would think what I've learned from Tina's wish at the MIT lab the importance of early detection, the importance of early diagnosis, the importance of 80, what I learned, if I'm understanding the statistics correctly, the very the importance of 80, what I learned, if I'm understanding the statistics correctly, the very large percentage of ovarian cancer is detected in the fallopian tubes, and those are things that after a certain age we may not need, for you know our livelihood and family, and so it is one solution that could be helpful and appropriate to somebody who has family history. And at the end of the conversation I said I'm just curious, who is your physician? And it was the same physician that I had had, and at that moment in time I knew it was important for me to be more comfortable, being more vocal, getting out there, and that is the reason I chose to write the book.
Speaker 3If I can help one person navigate the challenges of life, it doesn't have to be ovarian cancer or any kind of cancer or anything. It's transitions, life transitions, life issues. We all have challenges, and so this concept of impact circles is there as a formula for anybody, whether you're starting off in your twenties, whether you're 95, how do we have community, how do we have socialization, how do we lean on each other? How do we have authenticity? Because there is collective wisdom with this type of impact circle, and it's different from just one friendship on one friendship. It is more than that, and that is the power of these impact circles, and so that's why I'm happy that my editor did say to me and whispered in my ear when every month. I would say I just don't know if I really want to put this out there. I don't want to have fun to share. She said to me and I just adore her for this she said the world needs your book. That's right. If it helps one person, then I just helped that one person Exactly that's.
Workplace Advice and Final Thoughts
Speaker 2That's amazing, and I can't wait to see that book and get my hands on that book. As a PR person, I knew right away that's a great story that needs to be told, but we're almost out of time, but just a couple quick things I wanted to hit on. You know, part of my experience led me to create a workplace that is a healthy workplace where we have work-life balance, where there's unlimited PTO, where people have a voice and they're treated with respect. Given what I've been through, especially during my recovery, and what I had to face, do you have advice, given all the types of industries I'm sure you work with in your practice, for other workplaces and how they should treat their employees who might be facing a diagnosis, and any advice out there that you think employers really need to hear?
Speaker 3Yeah, it's such an important topic and I think, like anything, it's such an important topic and I think, like anything, caring about your employees as a whole human being is absolutely critical, and we clearly know that there are some employers that embrace diversity, equity, inclusion and how important that is. Across the board, that means so much, but it really just means treating each employee as an individual with individual needs and being willing to lean into how can their work-life balance experience fit into a model that might be more cookie cutter. Are the tiniest of employers or, if you are, the mega employers in the corporate environment across the United States. We just have to have leaders willing to have open mindsets of how to create work environments that work for everyone at all stages of life.
Speaker 3I recall when I started in my industry and I had my first child, there was not a maternity policy. I was the only woman financial advisor of childbearing years at that moment, and so I had to negotiate a maternity leave, and I was able to negotiate eight weeks at that time, which was brilliant because I was able to take any time off and not feel that I had to work through as a person who is in this type of industry, and four years later I was blessed with a daughter and at that point in time, new York State then had a family leave act and it was 13 weeks, which was a wonderful, wonderful experience. So I believe it is our local governments, but more importantly, it is the employer, and it's not just hiding behind an employer. You know backdrop. People lead in companies, so it is leaders. We need thoughtful, human leaders willing to make policy for their own companies that embraces individuals for every possible outcome. Just be a good person, allow your great people to work. The fact that my boss, who I adored, was able to negotiate an eight-week maternity leave, and he said to me to negotiate an eight week maternity leave, and he said to me and we'll do it again when you're ready for the next one. I had such loyalty. He was a dear, dear, dear friend, because he went outside of the box to create something with me.
Speaker 3That is what we need is leadership, real, authentic leadership, whether you're at a tiny company, whether you're at a mega company, it is caring about your employees, it is people who make decisions, it is people who make policy, it is people who care about each other. That will yield, in my professional opinion, quality productivity, because if you do the right thing for your employees, they will be loyal, they will stay with you, they will work for you because they have purpose, and that is what it is all about. We all need to feel included. We all need to feel like we have a purpose and, clearly, work is for our livelihoods, but many of us are working because we want to make a difference. If you want those types of employees, then just be kind, treat them well, put together policies that make common sense and treat them well.
Speaker 2Wow, I have the chills because I could not agree more and I try to be that leader every day, and having cancer truly changed me and defined who I became as a human being, as a leader as to be successful, it's okay to truly prioritize yourself, advocate for yourself. If you feel any kind of way, know your family history A big lesson you just shared today about how to really find those answers and don't ignore them. But then I'll just end by saying we're so grateful to organizations like Tina's Wish to offer that support, who are really making a difference, and if any of you out there are listening and want to connect with Tina's Wish and have any questions, you can find them on social media, on Instagram at Tina's Wish, and make sure to like, follow, subscribe so you can make sure to listen to this and listen to all the golden nuggets of advice that Elisa, my fellow thriver, just shared for all of us. Thank you so much for doing the podcast today and for the honor of being the one to speak with you.
Speaker 2Wishing you much more happy moments in your lifetime.
Speaker 3Thank you. I will end on this note. Next Thursday I will be getting on a plane and going across the pond to Blackpool, england, to compete in the largest ballroom dance competition in the world. I have a spectacular dress, bedazzled with rhinestones and feathers extraordinary and I am just showing up for my life. It is not about where I'm going to rank in the world. I'm going to be competing at a very high level with an incredible professional instructor who's just encouraged me, and I'm just showing up because I'm brave enough to do so, and my daughter is going to come and cheer me on.
Speaker 2So that's going to be incredible.
Speaker 3Show up for our lives and thank you. Thank you to Tina's wish and the incredible work that they do. It is so important. I am honored to be any part If I can make one iota of a difference for anyone out there. Truly happy, happy to be helpful. So thank you so much for the honor and privilege to be here today.
Speaker 1For more information about gynecologic health, visit tinaswishorg slash. What to know, that's tinaswishorg slash w-h-a-t-t-o-k-n-o-w. And like, follow or subscribe wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.