{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":88.58,"endTime":91.04599999999999,"body":"Today I'm talking about overcoming"},{"startTime":91.13,"endTime":93.124,"body":"rejection in your relationship."},{"startTime":94.614,"endTime":97.17,"body":"Many people have experienced rejection in their"},{"startTime":97.192,"endTime":99.954,"body":"relationships, but it's not always easy"},{"startTime":100.024,"endTime":102.644,"body":"to know exactly how to deal with it."},{"startTime":103.194,"endTime":105.526,"body":"Rejection can be very hard on your self"},{"startTime":105.58,"endTime":108.24199999999999,"body":"esteem, self acceptance,"},{"startTime":108.418,"endTime":111.04599999999999,"body":"emotional and nervous system, and"},{"startTime":111.1,"endTime":113.494,"body":"just tanks your confidence."},{"startTime":114.874,"endTime":117.738,"body":"Some people may try to avoid the issue by"},{"startTime":117.776,"endTime":119.644,"body":"withdrawing from the other person,"},{"startTime":120.334,"endTime":123.13,"body":"while others may try to find out what they"},{"startTime":123.152,"endTime":126.05799999999999,"body":"did wrong and try to fix it. There"},{"startTime":126.096,"endTime":128.59,"body":"are also some people who'll try the"},{"startTime":128.612,"endTime":130.926,"body":"revenge tactic to get back at the other"},{"startTime":130.98,"endTime":133.75799999999998,"body":"person by intentionally making them"},{"startTime":133.796,"endTime":136.734,"body":"feel rejected or trying to make them feel"},{"startTime":136.804,"endTime":139.518,"body":"jealous. I tend to"},{"startTime":139.55599999999998,"endTime":142.13,"body":"attract those people who want to"},{"startTime":142.152,"endTime":144.834,"body":"know what they did wrong and try to fix"},{"startTime":144.904,"endTime":147.81,"body":"it, while they also need the"},{"startTime":147.832,"endTime":150.754,"body":"other party to work on themselves rather"},{"startTime":150.824,"endTime":153.59,"body":"than deny anything is wrong or that they"},{"startTime":153.612,"endTime":156.13,"body":"did anything to cause hurt feelings,"},{"startTime":156.322,"endTime":159.18599999999998,"body":"much less admit they're engaging in rejection"},{"startTime":159.25,"endTime":162.19799999999998,"body":"behaviors. People who want to know"},{"startTime":162.236,"endTime":164.664,"body":"what they did wrong and try to fix it"},{"startTime":165.434,"endTime":168.18599999999998,"body":"really do care"},{"startTime":168.32,"endTime":171.31799999999998,"body":"so deeply about their relationships"},{"startTime":171.36599999999999,"endTime":173.164,"body":"and people that they care about."},{"startTime":174.25400000000002,"endTime":176.74599999999998,"body":"Here are some examples of"},{"startTime":176.8,"endTime":179.70999999999998,"body":"how rejection shows up in"},{"startTime":179.732,"endTime":182.526,"body":"our lives Susan said"},{"startTime":182.57999999999998,"endTime":185.518,"body":"her husband told her he's no longer and may"},{"startTime":185.55599999999998,"endTime":187.664,"body":"never have been attracted to her."},{"startTime":188.514,"endTime":191.106,"body":"Jesse said that she had applied for 25"},{"startTime":191.16,"endTime":193.04399999999998,"body":"jobs and has heard"},{"startTime":193.414,"endTime":196.14600000000002,"body":"nothing. She's also been"},{"startTime":196.2,"endTime":198.644,"body":"to five interviews and again,"},{"startTime":199.014,"endTime":201.998,"body":"crickets. Paul said his wife"},{"startTime":202.046,"endTime":204.374,"body":"complains about the way he dresses"},{"startTime":205.274,"endTime":208.118,"body":"even after he puts on"},{"startTime":208.156,"endTime":210.50400000000002,"body":"the clothes that she bought for him."},{"startTime":210.874,"endTime":213.638,"body":"Dana was fired because she was the best"},{"startTime":213.676,"endTime":216.598,"body":"salesperson every month and the manager"},{"startTime":216.64600000000002,"endTime":219.558,"body":"did not want to upset the full time, long term"},{"startTime":219.606,"endTime":222.25,"body":"staff. Pam's son"},{"startTime":222.35199999999998,"endTime":224.55399999999997,"body":"applied to 20 colleges"},{"startTime":224.894,"endTime":227.606,"body":"and received 20 rejection"},{"startTime":227.67000000000002,"endTime":230.538,"body":"letters. Yep, they're called rejection"},{"startTime":230.586,"endTime":233.358,"body":"letters. Christine said"},{"startTime":233.39600000000002,"endTime":235.918,"body":"her mother was not supportive of her goals or"},{"startTime":235.95600000000002,"endTime":238.51,"body":"successes and would either change the"},{"startTime":238.53199999999998,"endTime":241.39,"body":"subject or just talk down to her"},{"startTime":241.41199999999998,"endTime":244.20999999999998,"body":"and let her know that whatever she'd accomplished was no"},{"startTime":244.23199999999997,"endTime":246.24399999999997,"body":"big deal. Anyone could do it."},{"startTime":247.574,"endTime":250.52999999999997,"body":"Karen found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her"},{"startTime":250.632,"endTime":253.14999999999998,"body":"and lying about it after she saw"},{"startTime":253.272,"endTime":255.942,"body":"him snuggling up to another woman at a"},{"startTime":255.94799999999998,"endTime":258.79,"body":"cafe. Barry said the"},{"startTime":258.812,"endTime":261.698,"body":"one word he remembers m his emotionally abusive"},{"startTime":261.746,"endTime":264.664,"body":"parents say to him the most"},{"startTime":265.274,"endTime":266.924,"body":"was no,"},{"startTime":267.694,"endTime":268.794,"body":"loudly,"},{"startTime":270.574,"endTime":273.13,"body":"Zane said. He initiates romance with his"},{"startTime":273.152,"endTime":275.946,"body":"partner but gets swatted away, so he's given"},{"startTime":276.0,"endTime":278.95,"body":"up on intimacy. Paul"},{"startTime":278.98199999999997,"endTime":281.774,"body":"is finding he can be free to do whatever he wants,"},{"startTime":281.924,"endTime":284.858,"body":"and he enjoys watching porn. He pays"},{"startTime":284.906,"endTime":287.646,"body":"exorbitant amounts of money each month to"},{"startTime":287.7,"endTime":290.478,"body":"satisfy his habit. His wife is"},{"startTime":290.516,"endTime":293.138,"body":"upset that he won't be intimate with"},{"startTime":293.176,"endTime":296.03,"body":"her. Joni"},{"startTime":296.062,"endTime":298.766,"body":"asked for a raise last year and her manager"},{"startTime":298.83,"endTime":301.522,"body":"said no. He said the same thing"},{"startTime":301.608,"endTime":304.55,"body":"five years in a row. She doesn't understand"},{"startTime":304.652,"endTime":307.394,"body":"why because she's a hard worker,"},{"startTime":307.554,"endTime":310.438,"body":"supports her manager and her teammates, and"},{"startTime":310.476,"endTime":312.866,"body":"is a conscientious, caring"},{"startTime":312.93,"endTime":315.858,"body":"employee. George"},{"startTime":315.906,"endTime":318.698,"body":"learned that the lady he was dating had a boyfriend all"},{"startTime":318.736,"endTime":321.642,"body":"along and had been lying to him for over"},{"startTime":321.728,"endTime":322.684,"body":"six months."},{"startTime":325.454,"endTime":328.042,"body":"A few others that show up as you're a"},{"startTime":328.048,"endTime":330.89,"body":"teenager and growing up, one could be"},{"startTime":330.912,"endTime":333.898,"body":"not being asked for a couple skate at the skating rink"},{"startTime":333.946,"endTime":336.35,"body":"as a teen, or being dumped by your"},{"startTime":336.372,"endTime":339.21,"body":"boyfriend, or even going to Baskin"},{"startTime":339.242,"endTime":341.518,"body":"robbins and being told they're out of your favorite"},{"startTime":341.566,"endTime":343.826,"body":"flavor. Then you ask for your second"},{"startTime":343.88,"endTime":346.226,"body":"favorite and are told they're out of that,"},{"startTime":346.28,"endTime":349.15,"body":"too. I feel like I've"},{"startTime":349.18199999999996,"endTime":351.806,"body":"provided ample, blatant and subtle"},{"startTime":351.87,"endTime":354.87,"body":"examples of how rejection shows up in"},{"startTime":354.892,"endTime":357.86199999999997,"body":"our lives. Here's a"},{"startTime":357.868,"endTime":360.786,"body":"tip for you. I suggest you write yours"},{"startTime":360.84999999999997,"endTime":363.414,"body":"down as you recall them. As you remember"},{"startTime":363.484,"endTime":365.558,"body":"them, create a couple of"},{"startTime":365.596,"endTime":368.522,"body":"pages or separate a couple of"},{"startTime":368.52799999999996,"endTime":371.014,"body":"pages in your journal or in your notebook"},{"startTime":371.174,"endTime":374.14599999999996,"body":"and put, the heading of my rejection list."},{"startTime":374.264,"endTime":377.106,"body":"And as you remember them, as you have these"},{"startTime":377.144,"endTime":379.686,"body":"feelings of being rejected, write those"},{"startTime":379.724,"endTime":382.566,"body":"memories down. Doing that will"},{"startTime":382.604,"endTime":385.346,"body":"give you freedom, healing, and assist"},{"startTime":385.394,"endTime":387.76599999999996,"body":"you with shifting your relationship to"},{"startTime":387.804,"endTime":390.15,"body":"rejection to a more self"},{"startTime":390.236,"endTime":393.062,"body":"empowered acceptance"},{"startTime":393.222,"endTime":395.626,"body":"space. You will be"},{"startTime":395.664,"endTime":398.346,"body":"amazed at how many things come up for you"},{"startTime":398.464,"endTime":401.37199999999996,"body":"to write down in just a week."},{"startTime":401.902,"endTime":404.76599999999996,"body":"The act of writing it down is the first step in"},{"startTime":404.804,"endTime":407.786,"body":"releasing the energy and healing the stored"},{"startTime":407.834,"endTime":410.046,"body":"pain associated with that"},{"startTime":410.084,"endTime":413.038,"body":"memory. Given that I'm"},{"startTime":413.06,"endTime":416.018,"body":"going to focus on romantic relationships today, I want you"},{"startTime":416.03999999999996,"endTime":418.94599999999997,"body":"to know that everything I share does apply to"},{"startTime":418.984,"endTime":421.972,"body":"rejection. In any relationship or situation,"},{"startTime":423.702,"endTime":426.21,"body":"rejection is something we deal with every"},{"startTime":426.296,"endTime":428.902,"body":"day. It's painful,"},{"startTime":429.322,"endTime":431.538,"body":"it's hurtful, it's"},{"startTime":431.57,"endTime":433.506,"body":"suffocating, it's"},{"startTime":433.554,"endTime":435.426,"body":"damaging, it's"},{"startTime":435.474,"endTime":437.346,"body":"depressing, it's"},{"startTime":437.394,"endTime":439.506,"body":"disappointing, and it's"},{"startTime":439.554,"endTime":442.39,"body":"traumatic. There is nothing"},{"startTime":442.476,"endTime":445.16999999999996,"body":"worse as a caring,"},{"startTime":445.346,"endTime":448.31,"body":"loving, compassionate human being"},{"startTime":448.476,"endTime":450.072,"body":"to not be wanted,"},{"startTime":450.68199999999996,"endTime":453.55199999999996,"body":"valued or needed. It"},{"startTime":453.92199999999997,"endTime":456.734,"body":"slowly dims a light in our hearts and"},{"startTime":456.788,"endTime":459.43399999999997,"body":"souls. It affects our mental,"},{"startTime":459.498,"endTime":462.382,"body":"emotional and physical well being and"},{"startTime":462.452,"endTime":465.322,"body":"our relationships going forward, even"},{"startTime":465.412,"endTime":466.322,"body":"with ourselves."},{"startTime":468.262,"endTime":471.074,"body":"For some, it's debilitating to the point of not"},{"startTime":471.128,"endTime":472.37199999999996,"body":"being able to function."},{"startTime":473.62199999999996,"endTime":476.466,"body":"Others throw themselves into work or caring for the"},{"startTime":476.50399999999996,"endTime":479.20599999999996,"body":"kids and others keep trying to make"},{"startTime":479.24399999999997,"endTime":481.974,"body":"themselves attractive and"},{"startTime":482.02799999999996,"endTime":484.312,"body":"prove their worth to make them wanted."},{"startTime":485.24199999999996,"endTime":487.99,"body":"This all happens at work and in our personal"},{"startTime":488.07599999999996,"endTime":490.99,"body":"relationships. Now please don't get mad"},{"startTime":491.026,"endTime":493.942,"body":"at me. Now you may start to see rejection"},{"startTime":494.022,"endTime":496.82599999999996,"body":"everywhere and examples of it and know"},{"startTime":496.864,"endTime":499.306,"body":"that people around you have been hurt by"},{"startTime":499.344,"endTime":502.298,"body":"rejection. Whether you"},{"startTime":502.32,"endTime":505.102,"body":"realize it or not, it's time for you to have"},{"startTime":505.252,"endTime":507.77,"body":"a relationship mindset shift"},{"startTime":507.866,"endTime":510.654,"body":"about rejection so that"},{"startTime":510.70799999999997,"endTime":512.8580000000001,"body":"you can heal and be healthy."},{"startTime":513.0500000000001,"endTime":515.594,"body":"Anytime someone says no to you,"},{"startTime":515.748,"endTime":518.178,"body":"anytime someone dismisses you,"},{"startTime":518.36,"endTime":520.818,"body":"or anytime you experience"},{"startTime":521.0,"endTime":522.082,"body":"rejection,"},{"startTime":523.702,"endTime":526.434,"body":"I am committed to you healing everything that looks"},{"startTime":526.488,"endTime":529.346,"body":"like, feels like or is rejection"},{"startTime":529.394,"endTime":532.166,"body":"to you. The thing"},{"startTime":532.2040000000001,"endTime":534.9780000000001,"body":"is, in my experience of coaching couples,"},{"startTime":535.01,"endTime":538.006,"body":"teams and individuals, their experience of"},{"startTime":538.044,"endTime":540.962,"body":"rejection is usually directly connected"},{"startTime":541.122,"endTime":543.946,"body":"to the first time they felt unwanted as"},{"startTime":543.984,"endTime":546.826,"body":"a child. Because if you"},{"startTime":546.864,"endTime":549.622,"body":"didn't feel that early in childhood,"},{"startTime":549.782,"endTime":552.666,"body":"chances are you wouldn't really know what that is as you"},{"startTime":552.7040000000001,"endTime":555.598,"body":"grow older and you'd be kind"},{"startTime":555.62,"endTime":558.4780000000001,"body":"of neutral and indifferent to it if it"},{"startTime":558.5,"endTime":561.022,"body":"were to happen. Being told"},{"startTime":561.092,"endTime":563.998,"body":"no, not now or later"},{"startTime":564.1800000000001,"endTime":567.138,"body":"are all things we heard as children and"},{"startTime":567.16,"endTime":569.458,"body":"then made it mean that we were unwanted or"},{"startTime":569.48,"endTime":572.4780000000001,"body":"rejected. To feel unwanted"},{"startTime":572.51,"endTime":575.282,"body":"as a child is the most devastating thing"},{"startTime":575.432,"endTime":578.4060000000001,"body":"to their psyche and we"},{"startTime":578.444,"endTime":580.662,"body":"carry it forward into"},{"startTime":580.732,"endTime":583.3340000000001,"body":"adulthood. That"},{"startTime":583.388,"endTime":586.3580000000001,"body":"experience of being unwanted then gets stored as a memory in"},{"startTime":586.38,"endTime":589.142,"body":"your cells. I'm unwanted."},{"startTime":589.562,"endTime":592.0260000000001,"body":"I suck, I'm not"},{"startTime":592.064,"endTime":594.812,"body":"worthy. I can do better and be better."},{"startTime":595.182,"endTime":598.048,"body":"I, want to be wanted. I need to"},{"startTime":598.07,"endTime":600.9920000000001,"body":"be wanted. And so on goes"},{"startTime":601.062,"endTime":604.0160000000001,"body":"these thoughts. This memory"},{"startTime":604.0640000000001,"endTime":606.9960000000001,"body":"then triggers the need to belong, the need"},{"startTime":607.034,"endTime":609.908,"body":"to be accepted and loved in all areas of our"},{"startTime":610.01,"endTime":612.212,"body":"lives. This is a very"},{"startTime":612.282,"endTime":614.1320000000001,"body":"foundational, basic"},{"startTime":614.552,"endTime":617.364,"body":"need. And yet it's the hardest"},{"startTime":617.508,"endTime":620.1320000000001,"body":"to get satisfied and fulfilled"},{"startTime":620.292,"endTime":623.2080000000001,"body":"because in many respects we depend on others to"},{"startTime":623.23,"endTime":624.6020000000001,"body":"get that need met."},{"startTime":626.812,"endTime":629.436,"body":"It's almost like the person rejecting you"},{"startTime":629.5540000000001,"endTime":632.428,"body":"or the situation rejecting you has a"},{"startTime":632.45,"endTime":634.7760000000001,"body":"vice grip on you, making you hyper"},{"startTime":634.8240000000001,"endTime":637.676,"body":"focused on doing things to"},{"startTime":637.714,"endTime":640.2,"body":"be better or make them want"},{"startTime":640.306,"endTime":643.004,"body":"you. It becomes intensely"},{"startTime":643.0680000000001,"endTime":645.202,"body":"unbearable to not be wanted,"},{"startTime":645.7320000000001,"endTime":648.224,"body":"valued or recognized by"},{"startTime":648.278,"endTime":651.152,"body":"them. After all, you're a"},{"startTime":651.2220000000001,"endTime":653.956,"body":"great person. You do all"},{"startTime":653.994,"endTime":656.72,"body":"kinds of things to prove to them that you're wantable,"},{"startTime":656.8960000000001,"endTime":659.302,"body":"lovable and worthy. Only m"},{"startTime":659.85,"endTime":662.484,"body":"to find that everything you do"},{"startTime":662.618,"endTime":665.456,"body":"to make them want you the way you want"},{"startTime":665.514,"endTime":668.3620000000001,"body":"them to, the way you want them,"},{"startTime":669.052,"endTime":671.162,"body":"just is"},{"startTime":671.8520000000001,"endTime":673.802,"body":"not working."},{"startTime":675.212,"endTime":677.642,"body":"So what are you supposed to do?"},{"startTime":677.952,"endTime":680.456,"body":"You're a kind, compassionate, generous"},{"startTime":680.504,"endTime":683.24,"body":"person who naturally nurtures,"},{"startTime":683.416,"endTime":685.662,"body":"cares for and helps others."},{"startTime":686.912,"endTime":689.724,"body":"It's not in your nature not to try to make things"},{"startTime":689.778,"endTime":692.5880000000001,"body":"better, to try to give them some joy"},{"startTime":692.62,"endTime":695.392,"body":"in their day, to do things for them"},{"startTime":695.462,"endTime":698.032,"body":"and going way above and beyond."},{"startTime":699.412,"endTime":702.0160000000001,"body":"It's a lot to process and handle and"},{"startTime":702.0540000000001,"endTime":704.528,"body":"manage, and it's"},{"startTime":704.5600000000001,"endTime":707.0120000000001,"body":"embarrassing to talk with anyone about it"},{"startTime":707.162,"endTime":708.932,"body":"because everyone thinks"},{"startTime":709.672,"endTime":712.452,"body":"everyone loves you and that you have really"},{"startTime":712.522,"endTime":715.3480000000001,"body":"great relationships. When"},{"startTime":715.37,"endTime":718.1220000000001,"body":"you're out on vacation or having a meal with friends,"},{"startTime":718.652,"endTime":721.4820000000001,"body":"you are loving towards each other."},{"startTime":723.052,"endTime":725.72,"body":"I believe that rejection is the root, at the"},{"startTime":725.726,"endTime":728.282,"body":"root of what ails humanity today."},{"startTime":728.7520000000001,"endTime":731.432,"body":"So it's crucial and beneficial"},{"startTime":731.592,"endTime":734.524,"body":"to reframe what Rejection is and"},{"startTime":734.5780000000001,"endTime":737.548,"body":"how you will choose to allow it"},{"startTime":737.57,"endTime":740.302,"body":"to impact you and your life going forward."},{"startTime":741.332,"endTime":744.2560000000001,"body":"When you heal. By shifting your relationship"},{"startTime":744.374,"endTime":747.2320000000001,"body":"with rejection, you also create"},{"startTime":747.3820000000001,"endTime":749.442,"body":"an energetic shift in yourself"},{"startTime":750.452,"endTime":752.432,"body":"from a place of blame,"},{"startTime":752.8720000000001,"endTime":755.86,"body":"shame, lame and"},{"startTime":755.946,"endTime":758.932,"body":"same that you've named and"},{"startTime":759.0020000000001,"endTime":761.5880000000001,"body":"claimed to"},{"startTime":761.7700000000001,"endTime":764.2080000000001,"body":"a place of self empowerment,"},{"startTime":764.4000000000001,"endTime":766.5680000000001,"body":"self esteem, self"},{"startTime":766.6700000000001,"endTime":769.0,"body":"confidence, and self"},{"startTime":769.086,"endTime":772.024,"body":"love. A place where you believe in yourself"},{"startTime":772.158,"endTime":775.128,"body":"unwaveringly. A place where you"},{"startTime":775.1500000000001,"endTime":777.892,"body":"put yourself high up on that pedestal,"},{"startTime":778.052,"endTime":780.892,"body":"right next to the person you hold in high regard"},{"startTime":781.042,"endTime":783.9820000000001,"body":"and higher than those you hold in lower regard."},{"startTime":784.592,"endTime":787.34,"body":"A, place where you put yourself first. A"},{"startTime":787.3620000000001,"endTime":790.268,"body":"place where you matter. A place where"},{"startTime":790.306,"endTime":792.354,"body":"you do not have to prove yourself."},{"startTime":793.124,"endTime":795.648,"body":"A place where you know that the person doing the"},{"startTime":795.686,"endTime":798.028,"body":"rejecting is the one that's"},{"startTime":798.076,"endTime":800.96,"body":"unhealed. A place where you can"},{"startTime":800.9820000000001,"endTime":803.38,"body":"have compassion, even love,"},{"startTime":803.562,"endTime":806.292,"body":"but no longer be in a space"},{"startTime":806.378,"endTime":808.214,"body":"for them to mistreat you."},{"startTime":809.0640000000001,"endTime":812.0360000000001,"body":"A place where you decide to no"},{"startTime":812.09,"endTime":814.88,"body":"longer allow anyone or"},{"startTime":815.0020000000001,"endTime":817.768,"body":"anything that uses rejection tactics to"},{"startTime":817.806,"endTime":820.5840000000001,"body":"affect you, impact you, change"},{"startTime":820.654,"endTime":823.6080000000001,"body":"you, or diminish you in any shape or"},{"startTime":823.6460000000001,"endTime":826.104,"body":"form. You see,"},{"startTime":826.254,"endTime":829.1600000000001,"body":"rejection is a means to control, manipulate,"},{"startTime":829.272,"endTime":831.58,"body":"and more importantly, keep you small and"},{"startTime":831.6020000000001,"endTime":834.216,"body":"weak. Some do it intentionally,"},{"startTime":834.36,"endTime":836.6,"body":"but most do it because they're unheard,"},{"startTime":836.6320000000001,"endTime":839.356,"body":"healed, they're hurting, and they have"},{"startTime":839.4100000000001,"endTime":842.1120000000001,"body":"unresolved issues with being loved, wanted,"},{"startTime":842.1980000000001,"endTime":845.008,"body":"and valued, too. You"},{"startTime":845.046,"endTime":847.3280000000001,"body":"don't have to look far to see examples of how"},{"startTime":847.366,"endTime":850.1560000000001,"body":"rejection is propagated in popular"},{"startTime":850.22,"endTime":852.8520000000001,"body":"culture. Take the"},{"startTime":852.8580000000001,"endTime":855.3340000000001,"body":"reality show the bachelor, for example."},{"startTime":855.864,"endTime":858.404,"body":"The show is predicated on young women"},{"startTime":858.474,"endTime":861.22,"body":"parading around, proving their worth to the"},{"startTime":861.2420000000001,"endTime":863.616,"body":"bachelor, all the while hoping,"},{"startTime":863.6800000000001,"endTime":866.296,"body":"waiting, raising their game, and"},{"startTime":866.35,"endTime":868.904,"body":"intensely competing with each other"},{"startTime":869.0540000000001,"endTime":871.736,"body":"so that he chooses her and then"},{"startTime":871.7900000000001,"endTime":873.9440000000001,"body":"everyone else is rejected."},{"startTime":876.884,"endTime":879.48,"body":"I'm a big fan of words, their meaning"},{"startTime":879.6120000000001,"endTime":882.596,"body":"and origination and the energy in the word."},{"startTime":882.73,"endTime":885.604,"body":"So I want to share a little bit about"},{"startTime":885.6740000000001,"endTime":888.148,"body":"the meaning of the word reject or"},{"startTime":888.186,"endTime":890.5260000000001,"body":"rejection and how it originated. here are some"},{"startTime":890.58,"endTime":893.278,"body":"definitions. Objects or"},{"startTime":893.316,"endTime":895.614,"body":"parts rejected from a collection."},{"startTime":896.354,"endTime":898.784,"body":"The act of throwing off or away."},{"startTime":899.474,"endTime":902.3100000000001,"body":"Refusal to accept or grant casting"},{"startTime":902.3620000000001,"endTime":904.9580000000001,"body":"off. Refuse to accept"},{"startTime":905.0060000000001,"endTime":906.946,"body":"something. An"},{"startTime":907.0,"endTime":909.618,"body":"immunological response that refuses to"},{"startTime":909.6560000000001,"endTime":912.558,"body":"accept substances or organisms"},{"startTime":912.606,"endTime":915.6020000000001,"body":"that are recognized as foreign. Here's"},{"startTime":915.618,"endTime":918.1840000000001,"body":"the history of the word that I always find interesting."},{"startTime":918.874,"endTime":921.778,"body":"In the early 15th century, rejection meant"},{"startTime":921.9060000000001,"endTime":923.9580000000001,"body":"to set aside or block from"},{"startTime":923.9960000000001,"endTime":926.7700000000001,"body":"inheritance. Later in the 15th"},{"startTime":926.802,"endTime":929.258,"body":"century, it shifted to refusing to"},{"startTime":929.296,"endTime":931.3240000000001,"body":"acquiesce or submit to."},{"startTime":931.9340000000001,"endTime":934.71,"body":"The origin of the word is from the old french"},{"startTime":934.7420000000001,"endTime":937.5740000000001,"body":"word rejecte, and is directly"},{"startTime":937.654,"endTime":940.562,"body":"from Latin reject us or rejectare."},{"startTime":940.758,"endTime":943.45,"body":"And it meant, at that point in time to throw"},{"startTime":943.4820000000001,"endTime":946.3180000000001,"body":"away castaway, to vomit or to"},{"startTime":946.356,"endTime":948.9100000000001,"body":"throw back. By the"},{"startTime":948.932,"endTime":951.806,"body":"1530s, it shifted to mean throw away"},{"startTime":951.86,"endTime":954.654,"body":"as undesirable or useless,"},{"startTime":954.8140000000001,"endTime":957.634,"body":"or refused to take for some purpose."},{"startTime":957.974,"endTime":960.164,"body":"Now pay attention to this one."},{"startTime":960.6940000000001,"endTime":962.738,"body":"In the 1560s to the"},{"startTime":962.7760000000001,"endTime":965.118,"body":"1580s, it came to"},{"startTime":965.176,"endTime":967.874,"body":"mean to repel or rebuff"},{"startTime":968.034,"endTime":970.4060000000001,"body":"someone who makes advances of any"},{"startTime":970.46,"endTime":973.0300000000001,"body":"kind, especially of a"},{"startTime":973.052,"endTime":975.864,"body":"woman refusing a man"},{"startTime":976.234,"endTime":979.1460000000001,"body":"as a lover or husband. But"},{"startTime":979.2,"endTime":982.01,"body":"here's the thing. It's the woman doing the"},{"startTime":982.032,"endTime":984.364,"body":"rejecting at that point in time."},{"startTime":985.374,"endTime":987.9780000000001,"body":"By the 1660s, it shifted to"},{"startTime":988.0160000000001,"endTime":990.446,"body":"refusing something offered. In"},{"startTime":990.5,"endTime":993.3580000000001,"body":"1893, it shifted to"},{"startTime":993.3960000000001,"endTime":995.668,"body":"mean, a person considered low quality and"},{"startTime":995.706,"endTime":997.428,"body":"worthless. In"},{"startTime":997.466,"endTime":999.8760000000001,"body":"1925, it was"},{"startTime":999.9300000000001,"endTime":1002.868,"body":"added from use in the militaries"},{"startTime":1002.916,"endTime":1005.6080000000001,"body":"in reference to men unsuitable for"},{"startTime":1005.6460000000001,"endTime":1007.64,"body":"service. Then in"},{"startTime":1007.662,"endTime":1010.5360000000001,"body":"1953, the medical sense"},{"startTime":1010.59,"endTime":1013.48,"body":"of the definition was added to show an"},{"startTime":1013.5020000000001,"endTime":1016.1740000000001,"body":"immune response to a transplanted organ."},{"startTime":1016.864,"endTime":1019.676,"body":"Also in the 19th century, it could"},{"startTime":1019.73,"endTime":1022.5400000000001,"body":"also mean excrement. I especially"},{"startTime":1022.642,"endTime":1024.734,"body":"love that last one, don't you?"},{"startTime":1025.424,"endTime":1028.2359999999999,"body":"It feels like excrement and our thoughts become"},{"startTime":1028.29,"endTime":1030.992,"body":"like excrement. That made me smile a"},{"startTime":1030.998,"endTime":1033.474,"body":"bit. I hope it made you smirk too."},{"startTime":1034.644,"endTime":1037.388,"body":"If you've surmised from the definitions I just shared"},{"startTime":1037.436,"endTime":1039.824,"body":"that humans start with a root definition,"},{"startTime":1040.164,"endTime":1042.948,"body":"usually derived from Latin, and then"},{"startTime":1042.9859999999999,"endTime":1045.748,"body":"update or change it with the times, you are"},{"startTime":1045.786,"endTime":1048.628,"body":"so right. Consequently, you may"},{"startTime":1048.666,"endTime":1051.46,"body":"as well make up a meaning that serves you in the"},{"startTime":1051.482,"endTime":1054.474,"body":"best, most healthy way possible. Right?"},{"startTime":1055.484,"endTime":1058.328,"body":"Here are my ideas on reframing the meaning of"},{"startTime":1058.366,"endTime":1060.794,"body":"rejection. First,"},{"startTime":1061.244,"endTime":1064.12,"body":"reframing is the process of transforming what has"},{"startTime":1064.142,"endTime":1066.824,"body":"happened to you into positive,"},{"startTime":1066.904,"endTime":1069.628,"body":"constructive self thoughts, and"},{"startTime":1069.666,"endTime":1071.774,"body":"thoughts about the occasion or situation."},{"startTime":1073.104,"endTime":1076.028,"body":"Tied to this is also transforming your thoughts about who"},{"startTime":1076.066,"endTime":1078.828,"body":"you are into self accepting and loving"},{"startTime":1078.876,"endTime":1081.388,"body":"thoughts and things that you've"},{"startTime":1081.436,"endTime":1084.3799999999999,"body":"learned. It's not about ignoring"},{"startTime":1084.412,"endTime":1086.9279999999999,"body":"or avoiding the bad experiences in your"},{"startTime":1086.966,"endTime":1089.8799999999999,"body":"life, it's more about managing your reaction"},{"startTime":1089.932,"endTime":1092.436,"body":"to them and about moving forward by"},{"startTime":1092.49,"endTime":1094.9279999999999,"body":"examining things in a purely"},{"startTime":1094.9759999999999,"endTime":1097.728,"body":"factual, logical manner, removing"},{"startTime":1097.776,"endTime":1100.612,"body":"the feeling and the emotion of it,"},{"startTime":1100.778,"endTime":1103.32,"body":"which, when tied to the experience and the"},{"startTime":1103.3419999999999,"endTime":1106.024,"body":"memory, is way more intense."},{"startTime":1107.644,"endTime":1110.36,"body":"When you look at it logically, you'll notice how much"},{"startTime":1110.462,"endTime":1113.176,"body":"meaning, interpretation and"},{"startTime":1113.23,"endTime":1116.056,"body":"negative thinking that gets made up and put into"},{"startTime":1116.11,"endTime":1119.096,"body":"it. Getting your thoughts and feelings"},{"startTime":1119.1599999999999,"endTime":1121.9959999999999,"body":"out of your head and written down will help you bring"},{"startTime":1122.05,"endTime":1124.7279999999998,"body":"some objectivity to it. I've"},{"startTime":1124.7759999999998,"endTime":1127.7279999999998,"body":"prepared a chart and some worksheets to help you map out your"},{"startTime":1127.7659999999998,"endTime":1130.416,"body":"thoughts feelings and facts of"},{"startTime":1130.47,"endTime":1133.1039999999998,"body":"your experiences of rejection,"},{"startTime":1133.684,"endTime":1135.264,"body":"send me an email to"},{"startTime":1135.3339999999998,"endTime":1138.816,"body":"supportlove@drdar.com."},{"startTime":1138.9499999999998,"endTime":1140.674,"body":"That's supportlove at ah,"},{"startTime":1140.7939999999999,"endTime":1143.556,"body":"drdar.com. And"},{"startTime":1143.61,"endTime":1146.5,"body":"put rejection worksheets in the subject line."},{"startTime":1146.682,"endTime":1149.494,"body":"I'll respond and send them to you right away."},{"startTime":1150.5839999999998,"endTime":1152.614,"body":"Back to the reframing process."},{"startTime":1153.8039999999999,"endTime":1156.504,"body":"Rejection is about freedom of"},{"startTime":1156.5739999999998,"endTime":1159.464,"body":"choice. I know that's hard to even"},{"startTime":1159.5339999999999,"endTime":1161.896,"body":"imagine right now, but"},{"startTime":1161.9499999999998,"endTime":1164.664,"body":"rejection is about freedom"},{"startTime":1165.1039999999998,"endTime":1167.484,"body":"to choose and of choice."},{"startTime":1168.624,"endTime":1171.214,"body":"Stay with me here. I'll explain it."},{"startTime":1172.0639999999999,"endTime":1175.0,"body":"The other person is making a choice to reject."},{"startTime":1175.192,"endTime":1177.954,"body":"Or perhaps you're making a choice to reject yourself."},{"startTime":1179.124,"endTime":1181.648,"body":"And you too are making a"},{"startTime":1181.686,"endTime":1184.288,"body":"choice even in the midst of"},{"startTime":1184.406,"endTime":1187.164,"body":"reacting to the act of having been rejected."},{"startTime":1187.3239999999998,"endTime":1190.194,"body":"When you feel rejected, what choices are you making?"},{"startTime":1190.504,"endTime":1193.3919999999998,"body":"Perhaps it's to feel bad. Perhaps it's"},{"startTime":1193.408,"endTime":1196.32,"body":"to prove your worth. Perhaps it's"},{"startTime":1196.3519999999999,"endTime":1199.2939999999999,"body":"to, become a better person. Perhaps it's to be"},{"startTime":1199.3319999999999,"endTime":1201.55,"body":"sad and be depressed."},{"startTime":1202.3899999999999,"endTime":1205.3619999999999,"body":"That's a beneficial and crucial question for you to sit"},{"startTime":1205.416,"endTime":1208.4019999999998,"body":"with. When you feel rejected, what"},{"startTime":1208.456,"endTime":1211.394,"body":"choices are you making? Another way"},{"startTime":1211.432,"endTime":1213.54,"body":"to ask yourself this question is,"},{"startTime":1214.07,"endTime":1216.6,"body":"what am I choosing in this moment"},{"startTime":1216.97,"endTime":1219.702,"body":"as I am processing my"},{"startTime":1219.7559999999999,"endTime":1222.422,"body":"thoughts or the feeling of being"},{"startTime":1222.4759999999999,"endTime":1223.4299999999998,"body":"rejected?"},{"startTime":1225.21,"endTime":1227.974,"body":"Most of my clients say I don't know right"},{"startTime":1228.012,"endTime":1230.906,"body":"away. Then they'll lay all the blame and"},{"startTime":1230.9279999999999,"endTime":1233.6899999999998,"body":"anger on the other person. But after"},{"startTime":1233.76,"endTime":1236.298,"body":"some back and forth dialogue with me,"},{"startTime":1236.464,"endTime":1239.29,"body":"they say I'm choosing to be hurt with this,"},{"startTime":1239.4399999999998,"endTime":1242.4299999999998,"body":"when I could be choosing to think about it factually."},{"startTime":1243.25,"endTime":1246.158,"body":"When I do that, I see that what happened"},{"startTime":1246.3239999999998,"endTime":1249.2939999999999,"body":"was less about me and more about them and their"},{"startTime":1249.3319999999999,"endTime":1252.2259999999999,"body":"issue. I can choose to learn from"},{"startTime":1252.2479999999998,"endTime":1255.166,"body":"this experience and come away from it healed,"},{"startTime":1255.1979999999999,"endTime":1258.0339999999999,"body":"healthy, and whole. Here are some additional things"},{"startTime":1258.072,"endTime":1259.86,"body":"you can do to support yourself"},{"startTime":1260.47,"endTime":1262.8339999999998,"body":"around feeling and being"},{"startTime":1262.8719999999998,"endTime":1265.778,"body":"rejected. Pay attention"},{"startTime":1265.874,"endTime":1268.8339999999998,"body":"to how rejection in the past redirected"},{"startTime":1268.8819999999998,"endTime":1271.542,"body":"you to something better for you"},{"startTime":1271.596,"endTime":1274.374,"body":"later on, or protected you in some"},{"startTime":1274.412,"endTime":1277.254,"body":"way. It's easier to see this after the"},{"startTime":1277.292,"endTime":1280.234,"body":"fact, but you'll be able to embrace the redirection from"},{"startTime":1280.272,"endTime":1282.73,"body":"rejection as a gift going"},{"startTime":1282.8,"endTime":1285.706,"body":"forward, so that when rejection happens in"},{"startTime":1285.7279999999998,"endTime":1288.182,"body":"the future, you won't be harshly"},{"startTime":1288.2459999999999,"endTime":1291.1019999999999,"body":"impacted by it because you will"},{"startTime":1291.156,"endTime":1294.1419999999998,"body":"know something better than this is on its"},{"startTime":1294.196,"endTime":1296.878,"body":"way. Or you are being"},{"startTime":1296.964,"endTime":1299.5339999999999,"body":"helped to see things"},{"startTime":1299.732,"endTime":1302.378,"body":"clearly or move on from something"},{"startTime":1302.5639999999999,"endTime":1305.46,"body":"that isn't ideal for you right now."},{"startTime":1306.31,"endTime":1309.234,"body":"Here are some steps you can take to be"},{"startTime":1309.272,"endTime":1312.014,"body":"healthy, happy, and whole when you're"},{"startTime":1312.062,"endTime":1314.5,"body":"faced with rejection going forward."},{"startTime":1315.29,"endTime":1317.99,"body":"Number one, stop reading and"},{"startTime":1318.06,"endTime":1320.886,"body":"watching anything that has rejection messaging in"},{"startTime":1320.908,"endTime":1323.654,"body":"it, like the Bachelor show example I"},{"startTime":1323.692,"endTime":1326.502,"body":"shared with you. Number"},{"startTime":1326.556,"endTime":1329.326,"body":"two, use the charts and worksheets"},{"startTime":1329.378,"endTime":1332.2939999999999,"body":"I've got for you to get your thoughts and feelings"},{"startTime":1332.3419999999999,"endTime":1335.0339999999999,"body":"onto paper. Get them out of your head where your"},{"startTime":1335.072,"endTime":1337.914,"body":"analysis can be chaotic and create a"},{"startTime":1337.952,"endTime":1340.8799999999999,"body":"worse emotional storm within you."},{"startTime":1341.6499999999999,"endTime":1343.358,"body":"Email me at"},{"startTime":1343.524,"endTime":1346.3999999999999,"body":"supportlove@drdar.com"},{"startTime":1347.01,"endTime":1349.806,"body":"with rejection worksheets in the"},{"startTime":1349.828,"endTime":1352.3999999999999,"body":"subject line and I will send them to you."},{"startTime":1353.25,"endTime":1355.778,"body":"Writing it all down will help you see things more"},{"startTime":1355.864,"endTime":1358.846,"body":"logically. It'll give your mental and emotional"},{"startTime":1358.878,"endTime":1361.714,"body":"system a break. You'll be telling your mental and"},{"startTime":1361.752,"endTime":1364.7259999999999,"body":"emotional system it's all written down now so you can"},{"startTime":1364.7479999999998,"endTime":1367.2379999999998,"body":"rest. This really"},{"startTime":1367.3239999999998,"endTime":1367.96,"body":"works."},{"startTime":1370.09,"endTime":1372.694,"body":"Step three, follow me on Instagram at"},{"startTime":1372.732,"endTime":1375.72,"body":"drdarhawks for more tips like this."},{"startTime":1376.09,"endTime":1379.0459999999998,"body":"And step four, I invite you to take the"},{"startTime":1379.068,"endTime":1380.74,"body":"relationship languages quiz at,"},{"startTime":1380.74,"endTime":1383.6979999999999,"body":"relationshiplanguages.com to better"},{"startTime":1383.768,"endTime":1386.53,"body":"understand your priorities and"},{"startTime":1386.5839999999998,"endTime":1388.962,"body":"requirements and needs and"},{"startTime":1389.0,"endTime":1391.318,"body":"motivations in your relationships."},{"startTime":1391.658,"endTime":1394.4019999999998,"body":"Because when you reorient what's"},{"startTime":1394.4499999999998,"endTime":1396.9779999999998,"body":"happening in your life and your relationships"},{"startTime":1397.138,"endTime":1400.038,"body":"to your specific relationship"},{"startTime":1400.1879999999999,"endTime":1402.8899999999999,"body":"language, your life and relationships will"},{"startTime":1402.944,"endTime":1405.75,"body":"change. You'll have more self confidence,"},{"startTime":1405.894,"endTime":1408.682,"body":"your esteem self esteem will be higher,"},{"startTime":1408.8799999999999,"endTime":1411.398,"body":"and you'll start to attract"},{"startTime":1411.4779999999998,"endTime":1414.474,"body":"more people who care for you"},{"startTime":1414.4959999999999,"endTime":1415.9679999999998,"body":"and will nurture you."},{"startTime":1416.658,"endTime":1419.5819999999999,"body":"Lastly, I want you to know that I am here"},{"startTime":1419.62,"endTime":1422.462,"body":"for you to be of service and"},{"startTime":1422.5,"endTime":1425.182,"body":"help you be the best you can be for"},{"startTime":1425.22,"endTime":1427.81,"body":"yourself and in your"},{"startTime":1427.864,"endTime":1430.578,"body":"relationships. Thank you for giving"},{"startTime":1430.648,"endTime":1433.4579999999999,"body":"me the gift of your time and listening."},{"startTime":1433.408,"endTime":1435.3999999999999,"body":"Can'T wait to chat with you next time."}]}