{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":88.58,"endTime":91.456,"body":"Today I'm talking about the number one core value"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":91.55799999999999,"endTime":93.92,"body":"people pleasers and givers must"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":93.99,"endTime":96.976,"body":"have in order to thrive in all"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":96.99799999999999,"endTime":99.956,"body":"of their relationships, including the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":99.978,"endTime":102.976,"body":"one with themselves. There's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":103.008,"endTime":105.844,"body":"a number one core value that people pleasers and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":105.882,"endTime":108.816,"body":"givers and helpers must have. And it's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":108.848,"endTime":111.75999999999999,"body":"not about boundaries or doing anything"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":111.85,"endTime":114.484,"body":"against your innate nature. It's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":114.532,"endTime":117.22,"body":"honoring, it's respectful, and it's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":117.3,"endTime":120.29599999999999,"body":"significant. First, I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":120.318,"endTime":122.952,"body":"want to say that being a people pleaser is not a bad"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":123.006,"endTime":125.93199999999999,"body":"thing. You're going to hear me and see me"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":125.98599999999999,"endTime":128.86,"body":"write and say this over and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":128.93,"endTime":131.916,"body":"over and over again because I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":131.938,"endTime":134.54,"body":"don't want us to beat ourselves up for caring about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":134.61,"endTime":137.264,"body":"others, for being givers, for being"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":137.302,"endTime":139.504,"body":"emotional, sensitive, or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":139.542,"endTime":142.012,"body":"helpful. The shame,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":142.076,"endTime":144.944,"body":"blame, and you are wrong game"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":145.062,"endTime":147.984,"body":"just does not work for us. For"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":148.022,"endTime":150.564,"body":"those of us who love to give to others and are"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":150.602,"endTime":152.47,"body":"motivated by doing so,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":154.36,"endTime":157.012,"body":"there's a m number one core value people"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":157.066,"endTime":159.904,"body":"pleasers must have. And it's not about boundaries"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":160.03199999999998,"endTime":162.89999999999998,"body":"or doing anything that doesn't"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":162.98000000000002,"endTime":163.93,"body":"feel good."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":166.78,"endTime":169.144,"body":"Sure, you and I have some issues in some"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":169.18200000000002,"endTime":171.256,"body":"relationships where we give to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":171.438,"endTime":173.22,"body":"unhealthy, selfish"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":173.3,"endTime":176.12,"body":"takers, and we've received nothing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":176.19,"endTime":178.748,"body":"from that giving. And dare I say,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":178.914,"endTime":181.836,"body":"we may still hold out hope that they will give at"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":181.858,"endTime":184.844,"body":"some point in the future. But you see, for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":184.882,"endTime":187.6,"body":"us, as people pleasers and givers, we're going to give"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":187.67000000000002,"endTime":190.624,"body":"because it's part of our process for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":190.66199999999998,"endTime":192.61,"body":"self discovery and learning."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":193.3,"endTime":195.01,"body":"It's part of our process,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":196.12,"endTime":198.92399999999998,"body":"for our path, finding our path"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":198.99200000000002,"endTime":201.45999999999998,"body":"to something even greater"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":201.62,"endTime":203.93,"body":"than what we were giving to that person"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":204.54,"endTime":207.05,"body":"who was not able to give back."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":208.3,"endTime":211.012,"body":"But I do know how this feels. I felt"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":211.076,"endTime":213.736,"body":"challenged and went into intentional survival"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":213.768,"endTime":216.63600000000002,"body":"mode in school and at work because I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":216.65800000000002,"endTime":219.324,"body":"was not the highly competitive type, but the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":219.36200000000002,"endTime":221.79000000000002,"body":"collaborative and accommodating type."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":222.48000000000002,"endTime":225.264,"body":"It's difficult to collaborate when people just want"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":225.30200000000002,"endTime":227.76,"body":"to compete and not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":227.82999999999998,"endTime":230.704,"body":"collaborate. It did not matter how"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":230.74200000000002,"endTime":233.5,"body":"obvious it was that I got more done individually"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":233.57999999999998,"endTime":236.192,"body":"and as a team because I was and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":236.24599999999998,"endTime":239.096,"body":"am a collaborator. I'm inclusive"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":239.14800000000002,"endTime":242.11599999999999,"body":"of everyone on the team and genuinely care about what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":242.13799999999998,"endTime":245.04399999999998,"body":"people are thinking about, how they're feeling and their"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":245.082,"endTime":247.748,"body":"approaches to the project or the job or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":247.914,"endTime":250.904,"body":"to our relationship. To"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":250.942,"endTime":253.39600000000002,"body":"me, competitiveness breeds"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":253.428,"endTime":256.372,"body":"division. It breeds comparing, judgment,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":256.436,"endTime":259.272,"body":"criticism, and other things that just don't feel"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":259.326,"endTime":261.4,"body":"good to us. People pleasers"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":262.21999999999997,"endTime":264.812,"body":"it creates division at home, at work,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":264.946,"endTime":267.564,"body":"and within ourselves, competing for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":267.602,"endTime":270.056,"body":"grades, the promotion at work, or for parental"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":270.088,"endTime":272.936,"body":"approval. Those are just some examples of how we're"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":272.968,"endTime":275.792,"body":"pitted against each other instead of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":275.846,"endTime":278.13,"body":"for each other and the greater good."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":279.46,"endTime":282.096,"body":"We're the peacemakers, the negotiators, the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":282.118,"endTime":284.7,"body":"helpers, the collaborators, and the team spirited"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":284.78,"endTime":287.684,"body":"champions. We're the optimists and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":287.722,"endTime":290.564,"body":"believers in the greater good of our community and each"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":290.602,"endTime":293.092,"body":"other. But"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":293.146,"endTime":295.94,"body":"sadly and unfortunately, the world"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":296.01,"endTime":298.1,"body":"is built on a problem to fix."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":298.17,"endTime":301.064,"body":"Mentality. You"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":301.102,"endTime":303.892,"body":"are not a problem to fix. Neither"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":303.956,"endTime":306.392,"body":"am I. And as long as that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":306.446,"endTime":309.096,"body":"belief and ideology is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":309.118,"endTime":311.724,"body":"perpetuated, we will continue a spiral of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":311.762,"endTime":314.588,"body":"healing seeking, and we will continue"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":314.674,"endTime":317.55,"body":"to attract people who will certainly help us learn"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":318.32,"endTime":320.83,"body":"the hard way, that is, through their taking."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":322.4,"endTime":324.35,"body":"Enough of that, I say."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":326.34,"endTime":328.972,"body":"Rather than berate myself for being a generous,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":329.036,"endTime":331.792,"body":"wise, and giving people pleaser today"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":331.846,"endTime":334.672,"body":"I pay attention to what people in my life say"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":334.726,"endTime":337.316,"body":"and do. And if they are out of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":337.338,"endTime":340.276,"body":"alignment with my core values, then I do what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":340.298,"endTime":342.308,"body":"I call a relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":342.474,"endTime":343.46,"body":"reset."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":345.4,"endTime":348.164,"body":"I used to get burned out, exhaust myself, and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":348.202,"endTime":351.012,"body":"give way too much, especially when dating."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":351.156,"endTime":354.056,"body":"Oh, my gosh. Doing things for my dates after we got to the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":354.078,"endTime":357.07,"body":"third date to show them how special they are. Oh,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":357.02,"endTime":358.78,"body":"Boy, did I overdo it."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":360.10999999999996,"endTime":363.006,"body":"A relationship reset requires acknowledging when"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":363.02799999999996,"endTime":365.99399999999997,"body":"I am giving too much, being self aware"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":366.042,"endTime":368.986,"body":"so that I honor myself and my needs. And I'm"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":369.018,"endTime":370.47999999999996,"body":"aware when I'm not."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":371.81,"endTime":374.798,"body":"Having honoring, kind and calm conversations"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":374.894,"endTime":377.842,"body":"to seek and restore balance when faced with people"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":377.976,"endTime":379.72999999999996,"body":"who don't reciprocate."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":381.03,"endTime":383.794,"body":"Being ready to limit my exposure to them if they"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":383.832,"endTime":386.514,"body":"continue. Taking in. Taking in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":386.55199999999996,"endTime":389.366,"body":"lieu of having a balance where we both give and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":389.388,"endTime":391.66999999999996,"body":"receive in a divine dance."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":392.81,"endTime":395.602,"body":"Not feeling bad about myself or quite frankly,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":395.666,"endTime":398.2,"body":"not feeling bad about the other person, too."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":398.81,"endTime":401.70599999999996,"body":"And accepting whatever's going on"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":401.728,"endTime":404.63399999999996,"body":"in the relationship for what it is. All that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":404.67199999999997,"endTime":407.274,"body":"it is, is that we are out of alignment. And that is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":407.312,"endTime":409.914,"body":"okay. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":409.952,"endTime":412.606,"body":"fix. There's just an opportunity for a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":412.628,"endTime":415.486,"body":"conversation to see whether we can get aligned or not. And if"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":415.508,"endTime":418.414,"body":"the answer is no, move on. M in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":418.452,"endTime":421.306,"body":"peace and enjoy. Doesn't"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":421.418,"endTime":424.366,"body":"mean we hate each other. Doesn't mean it has"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":424.388,"endTime":427.31399999999996,"body":"to get nasty. There was a time"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":427.352,"endTime":429.938,"body":"when I found myself having to do relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":430.104,"endTime":433.074,"body":"resets. A few times a month with various people in my"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":433.11199999999997,"endTime":435.794,"body":"life, I would escape into my mental and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":435.832,"endTime":438.55,"body":"emotional womb like a cave of comfort."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":439.77,"endTime":442.64599999999996,"body":"I realized there was more for me to do to shift the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":442.668,"endTime":445.654,"body":"energy of attracting takers, more to do"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":445.692,"endTime":448.346,"body":"to embrace the energy of mutual giving and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":448.368,"endTime":451.066,"body":"receiving in a dance much like the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":451.08799999999997,"endTime":452.49,"body":"infinity symbol,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":456.3,"endTime":459.032,"body":"I wanted a world to represent a balance of giving"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":459.08599999999996,"endTime":461.464,"body":"and receiving as a feeling and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":461.502,"endTime":464.104,"body":"sensation, not a tit for tat"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":464.152,"endTime":466.924,"body":"metric. Bam. I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":466.962,"endTime":469.692,"body":"found the word reciprocal. Then I found the word"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":469.746,"endTime":472.604,"body":"reciprocity. I'm a fan of looking"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":472.642,"endTime":475.536,"body":"up the meanings and originations of words, and today I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":475.558,"endTime":477.91999999999996,"body":"use the Cambridge English Dictionary."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":479.3,"endTime":482.032,"body":"Reciprocal is a reciprocal action or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":482.08599999999996,"endTime":485.024,"body":"arrangement that involves two people or groups of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":485.062,"endTime":487.924,"body":"people who behave in the same way or agree"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":487.962,"endTime":490.65999999999997,"body":"to help each other and give each other advantages."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":491.47999999999996,"endTime":494.404,"body":"Reciprocity is behavior in which two people or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":494.442,"endTime":496.63,"body":"groups of people give each other help."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":497.56,"endTime":500.424,"body":"Imagine that. Give each other something"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":500.462,"endTime":502.12,"body":"of value and advantages."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":503.34,"endTime":506.15999999999997,"body":"I also found this on a Huffington Post,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":506.10999999999996,"endTime":509.08599999999996,"body":"article to help explain how reciprocity can"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":509.108,"endTime":511.81,"body":"be learned, why some have it and others"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":511.88,"endTime":514.706,"body":"don't. Here goes. The"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":514.7280000000001,"endTime":517.714,"body":"rules of reciprocity are something that can be"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":517.7520000000001,"endTime":520.4300000000001,"body":"learned from culture, upbringing,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":520.51,"endTime":523.4060000000001,"body":"experience, or influence. Or maybe it's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":523.438,"endTime":525.83,"body":"just something you're born into knowing."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":527.13,"endTime":529.9540000000001,"body":"So I took on reciprocity"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":530.0020000000001,"endTime":532.4540000000001,"body":"as a foundational value and principle in my"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":532.492,"endTime":535.206,"body":"life. Everything, and I mean everything,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":535.308,"endTime":537.114,"body":"is for mutual benefit in my"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":537.152,"endTime":539.738,"body":"relationships. And that is not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":539.8240000000001,"endTime":542.576,"body":"being selfish. It's being honoring, of others"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":542.678,"endTime":545.664,"body":"and myself. The day"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":545.702,"endTime":548.5360000000001,"body":"I stopped attracting selfish, manipulative,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":548.668,"endTime":551.492,"body":"and charming takers was the day"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":551.546,"endTime":553.956,"body":"I added this one ingredient, this"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":554.058,"endTime":556.932,"body":"one master, core value and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":556.986,"endTime":559.444,"body":"lifestyle priority into my life,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":559.642,"endTime":562.264,"body":"into my value system, and to the core of my"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":562.302,"endTime":565.284,"body":"being. Then any boundaries"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":565.332,"endTime":568.104,"body":"I had to put in place previously were not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":568.142,"endTime":570.8240000000001,"body":"necessary any longer because they were"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":570.862,"endTime":573.836,"body":"walls to receiving. What"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":573.8580000000001,"endTime":576.46,"body":"I did do, though, was create new boundaries, create"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":576.53,"endTime":579.516,"body":"new guidelines so that I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":579.538,"endTime":582.11,"body":"would know when reciprocity was not present."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":583.52,"endTime":586.48,"body":"I also learned that sharing my values with people"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":586.5500000000001,"endTime":589.072,"body":"early on in the relationship, whether it was a work"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":589.126,"endTime":591.548,"body":"relationship, a manager,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":591.67,"endTime":594.534,"body":"coworker relationship, or an intimate relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":594.652,"endTime":595.91,"body":"or friendships,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":597.45,"endTime":600.294,"body":"when I shared my values with them early on"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":600.332,"endTime":603.066,"body":"in the relationship, it informed them of how I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":603.0880000000001,"endTime":605.6740000000001,"body":"roll, and we would know right then whether we were"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":605.712,"endTime":608.426,"body":"aligned or not. If they resonate with my"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":608.4480000000001,"endTime":611.39,"body":"values and I with them, it's a calm go. If not,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":611.46,"endTime":614.142,"body":"it's a wait and see. But I'm not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":614.196,"endTime":617.018,"body":"diving in headfirst into that giving mode"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":617.114,"endTime":620.106,"body":"yet. And reciprocity"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":620.138,"endTime":622.99,"body":"has to be present as a feeling and a sensation."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":623.35,"endTime":626.306,"body":"Otherwise, I know I'm going into the relationship with an"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":626.3280000000001,"endTime":628.658,"body":"uneven balance of energy"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":628.744,"endTime":631.5540000000001,"body":"exchange. I know that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":631.592,"endTime":634.1800000000001,"body":"my history has provided enough experience,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":634.63,"endTime":637.5260000000001,"body":"experiences, and interactions to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":637.548,"endTime":640.3580000000001,"body":"know that if I sacrifice reciprocity, it never"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":640.4440000000001,"endTime":643.3340000000001,"body":"turns out well, and I feel like"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":643.3720000000001,"endTime":645.75,"body":"I'm the one who ends up suffering."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":646.57,"endTime":649.354,"body":"So today, I choose reciprocity as my number"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":649.392,"endTime":651.85,"body":"one core value as a people pleaser,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":652.83,"endTime":655.802,"body":"I do want to share a warning with you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":655.856,"endTime":658.39,"body":"and a friendly guidance"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":658.47,"endTime":661.378,"body":"guideline for you or a guidepost,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":661.5740000000001,"endTime":664.474,"body":"and that is, once you choose reciprocity"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":664.6020000000001,"endTime":667.3100000000001,"body":"as your number one core value, as a people"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":667.38,"endTime":669.87,"body":"pleaser, giver and helper or service"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":669.94,"endTime":671.2800000000001,"body":"oriented person,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":672.5300000000001,"endTime":675.282,"body":"know and trust that any"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":675.336,"endTime":678.306,"body":"relationship that is out of alignment of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":678.408,"endTime":681.186,"body":"reciprocity as mutual benefit, not an"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":681.2080000000001,"endTime":683.97,"body":"equal benefit, mutual benefit."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":684.87,"endTime":687.826,"body":"When any relationship is in place, that's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":687.8580000000001,"endTime":690.5980000000001,"body":"not that it will leave your life"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":690.6840000000001,"endTime":693.494,"body":"through natural methods or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":693.532,"endTime":696.166,"body":"through your choice. I'll give you an"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":696.188,"endTime":698.524,"body":"example. I took on"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":698.562,"endTime":701.224,"body":"reciprocity as my number one core"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":701.272,"endTime":704.14,"body":"value a while ago, several years ago,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":704.2900000000001,"endTime":706.908,"body":"but I truly focused in on it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":706.994,"endTime":709.39,"body":"within the last 24 months."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":710.6600000000001,"endTime":713.152,"body":"And the more I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":713.206,"endTime":716.0160000000001,"body":"embodied reciprocity, the more things that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":716.038,"endTime":718.72,"body":"were out of alignment fell away"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":718.7900000000001,"endTime":721.692,"body":"naturally. Forgivers"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":721.7560000000001,"endTime":724.74,"body":"and, givers and people"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":724.8100000000001,"endTime":727.46,"body":"pleasers and helpers and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":727.5300000000001,"endTime":730.5160000000001,"body":"service oriented people like us, it can"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":730.538,"endTime":733.476,"body":"be very difficult when relationships fall to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":733.498,"endTime":736.344,"body":"the wayside. My invitation to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":736.3820000000001,"endTime":739.26,"body":"you is to recognize that they're falling away because they're,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":739.21,"endTime":741.9340000000001,"body":"simply just out of alignment with your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":741.9720000000001,"endTime":743.918,"body":"core values and your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":744.004,"endTime":745.9200000000001,"body":"reciprocity value."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":746.69,"endTime":749.442,"body":"I recently got laid off about six months"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":749.4960000000001,"endTime":751.94,"body":"ago, actually. No, it was less than that, but"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":752.7900000000001,"endTime":755.6500000000001,"body":"I got laid off. The"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":755.72,"endTime":758.514,"body":"engagement was great, the work was great,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":758.712,"endTime":761.4480000000001,"body":"but, then my manager changed and we were out of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":761.47,"endTime":764.216,"body":"alignment and reciprocity was not present."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":764.3340000000001,"endTime":766.616,"body":"It was a taking energy"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":766.8140000000001,"endTime":769.4920000000001,"body":"mostly. I,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":771.432,"endTime":774.292,"body":"was giving to an organization for over"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":774.3620000000001,"endTime":777.14,"body":"eight years, six to eight weekends, a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":777.162,"endTime":780.0200000000001,"body":"year, as a volunteer, and also"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":780.1220000000001,"endTime":782.984,"body":"doing a lot of behind the scenes marketing and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":783.0540000000001,"endTime":785.768,"body":"work there. And once I took on"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":785.806,"endTime":788.634,"body":"reciprocity, I can tell you this year,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":789.034,"endTime":791.7220000000001,"body":"the organization made a change and I was no longer"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":791.808,"endTime":794.4540000000001,"body":"needed, to deliver that service."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":795.5440000000001,"endTime":798.3580000000001,"body":"So, I just want to share with you that that is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":798.3960000000001,"endTime":801.346,"body":"creating space for me to attract"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":801.4100000000001,"endTime":803.878,"body":"reciprocal exchanges and relationships and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":803.916,"endTime":806.8100000000001,"body":"opportunities going forward. So as"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":806.832,"endTime":809.7700000000001,"body":"a people pleaser, as a giver, as a helper, as"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":809.792,"endTime":811.484,"body":"a service oriented person,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":812.254,"endTime":815.014,"body":"please see it as a gift."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":815.1740000000001,"endTime":818.0300000000001,"body":"When things in your life and relationships in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":818.052,"endTime":820.464,"body":"your life and opportunities in your life"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":822.034,"endTime":824.618,"body":"fall away or leave, it's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":824.666,"endTime":827.438,"body":"because they are out of alignment and you are"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":827.476,"endTime":829.618,"body":"being saved from pain and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":829.6560000000001,"endTime":832.644,"body":"struggle and trauma and,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":833.104,"endTime":835.9820000000001,"body":"a very, difficult breakup, if you will,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":836.148,"endTime":838.878,"body":"early in the process. It is a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":838.916,"endTime":841.71,"body":"gift. I'm"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":841.7420000000001,"endTime":844.1740000000001,"body":"inviting you to choose reciprocity. Embody"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":844.254,"endTime":847.022,"body":"reciprocity as a feeling and a sensation,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":847.118,"endTime":849.678,"body":"and as a mutual exchange and mutual"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":849.726,"endTime":852.706,"body":"benefit. And I'm inviting you to have"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":852.76,"endTime":855.678,"body":"conversations about mutual benefit"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":855.726,"endTime":858.63,"body":"and reciprocity upfront. Even in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":858.652,"endTime":861.3040000000001,"body":"my business, when I'm having conversations with"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":861.8340000000001,"endTime":864.6460000000001,"body":"new prospective clients or people"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":864.7,"endTime":867.322,"body":"that I'm hiring to help me in my business,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":867.488,"endTime":870.124,"body":"I let them know that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":870.494,"endTime":873.062,"body":"my core value is reciprocity"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":873.238,"endTime":876.042,"body":"and I explain what that is to me."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":876.2080000000001,"endTime":879.116,"body":"I also share with them, my other core values and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":879.154,"endTime":881.916,"body":"that the engagement has to be of mutual"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":881.964,"endTime":884.736,"body":"benefit and it has to feel good. And"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":884.774,"endTime":887.456,"body":"because I share that upfront, it is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":887.494,"endTime":890.3480000000001,"body":"amazing what happens. The people that I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":890.39,"endTime":892.6120000000001,"body":"collaborate with and with my clients,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":893.2420000000001,"endTime":895.792,"body":"they will start checking in with me to make sure"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":897.202,"endTime":899.966,"body":"is reciprocity present. Is this still a feel good"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":900.004,"endTime":902.782,"body":"exchange? My clients,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":902.8620000000001,"endTime":904.962,"body":"one of my requirements is flexibility."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":905.782,"endTime":908.6260000000001,"body":"Flexibility with their schedule. Flexibility with my"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":908.664,"endTime":911.106,"body":"schedule while honoring each other's time and being"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":911.144,"endTime":913.938,"body":"respectful instead of just not showing up. Right?"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":914.0400000000001,"endTime":916.552,"body":"That's a different conversation for no shows."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":917.162,"endTime":920.0060000000001,"body":"And they honor that. The reason"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":920.0440000000001,"endTime":922.898,"body":"why there's so many upsets for us as givers"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":922.9300000000001,"endTime":925.366,"body":"and people pleasers is we're unclear about our"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":925.404,"endTime":928.278,"body":"priorities and our values,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":928.47,"endTime":931.13,"body":"and we don't share them with others up"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":931.216,"endTime":933.6740000000001,"body":"front to see whether there"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":933.7280000000001,"endTime":936.412,"body":"is alignment or not."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":937.1020000000001,"endTime":939.706,"body":"So start with the value of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":939.744,"endTime":942.442,"body":"reciprocity. Please"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":942.5120000000001,"endTime":944.892,"body":"contact me if you want to learn more about,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":945.312,"endTime":948.288,"body":"how I implemented reciprocity in my life. If"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":948.3100000000001,"endTime":951.048,"body":"you want to hear more about the examples, and if you want to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":951.11,"endTime":953.3000000000001,"body":"build a strategy for adding"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":953.3960000000001,"endTime":955.8820000000001,"body":"reciprocity into your life so that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":956.2520000000001,"endTime":958.164,"body":"you stop attracting takers,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":958.2280000000001,"endTime":959.272,"body":"narcissists,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":961.3820000000001,"endTime":964.274,"body":"the unhealthy, self"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":964.3280000000001,"endTime":966.772,"body":"centered people in life,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Speaker A","startTime":967.142,"endTime":968.532,"body":"I'm here to help."}]}