{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":89.14999999999999,"endTime":91.49,"body":"Today we are talking about dating,"},{"startTime":93.88,"endTime":96.612,"body":"how we've been duped about what it is by"},{"startTime":96.666,"endTime":99.316,"body":"following a one size fits all in the"},{"startTime":99.338,"endTime":102.228,"body":"box solution disguised as a custom"},{"startTime":102.314,"endTime":105.23599999999999,"body":"solution, along with one step you can take to"},{"startTime":105.258,"endTime":108.036,"body":"feel good about it. I"},{"startTime":108.05799999999999,"endTime":110.97999999999999,"body":"believe that if each person had less stress in their lives,"},{"startTime":111.05,"endTime":114.012,"body":"our world would be more harmonious. To me,"},{"startTime":114.066,"endTime":116.776,"body":"stress is the source of all that doesn't feel right, that's"},{"startTime":116.80799999999999,"endTime":119.804,"body":"wonky, or that's wrong. In our world does not feel"},{"startTime":119.842,"endTime":122.44399999999999,"body":"good and causes people to be mean or"},{"startTime":122.482,"endTime":125.306,"body":"mistreat people, or, just for us not"},{"startTime":125.328,"endTime":128.314,"body":"to feel good. I know when I'm stressed, my"},{"startTime":128.352,"endTime":131.214,"body":"emotions are off kilter. I don't communicate well, make"},{"startTime":131.252,"endTime":133.886,"body":"choices, or act in a way that produces the"},{"startTime":133.90800000000002,"endTime":136.702,"body":"results I seek or want. And it honestly makes others"},{"startTime":136.756,"endTime":139.586,"body":"not feel great either. This"},{"startTime":139.608,"endTime":142.514,"body":"is true with the dream of having and being in"},{"startTime":142.552,"endTime":145.214,"body":"a loving, respectful, long term"},{"startTime":145.262,"endTime":147.97,"body":"relationship as well. Not having"},{"startTime":148.04,"endTime":150.948,"body":"that, and yet, dreaming about it over a longer period"},{"startTime":150.984,"endTime":153.74,"body":"of time can cause immense stress"},{"startTime":153.82,"endTime":156.768,"body":"just about every day. And think about it,"},{"startTime":156.85399999999998,"endTime":159.44,"body":"this dream to be in this loving relationship"},{"startTime":159.59,"endTime":162.45999999999998,"body":"starts as early as being a teenager."},{"startTime":162.62,"endTime":165.588,"body":"And so that stress builds up over time."},{"startTime":165.75400000000002,"endTime":167.19,"body":"And when we add,"},{"startTime":168.81,"endTime":171.574,"body":"going out and dating and having that first"},{"startTime":171.612,"endTime":174.374,"body":"date and it not working out, or a second date and not working"},{"startTime":174.41199999999998,"endTime":177.274,"body":"out, or three months later, it not working out, or five"},{"startTime":177.312,"endTime":180.04399999999998,"body":"months later, whatever, the time"},{"startTime":180.082,"endTime":182.3,"body":"frame is, all of those"},{"startTime":182.37,"endTime":185.1,"body":"experiences tack on stress through"},{"startTime":185.17000000000002,"endTime":187.99599999999998,"body":"our, experiences, right? Because they don't"},{"startTime":188.028,"endTime":190.84199999999998,"body":"feel good. there's struggle, there's discomfort,"},{"startTime":190.906,"endTime":193.63,"body":"there's fear, there's doubt, there's uncertainty."},{"startTime":194.48000000000002,"endTime":197.372,"body":"our hearts close up, our minds close up. We become"},{"startTime":197.426,"endTime":200.376,"body":"more self reliant. There's just so much packed"},{"startTime":200.40800000000002,"endTime":203.344,"body":"onto this notion of a dream of having"},{"startTime":203.382,"endTime":205.84,"body":"and being in a loving relationship and not having"},{"startTime":205.91,"endTime":208.864,"body":"it. Shoot. I still have"},{"startTime":208.902,"endTime":211.844,"body":"firm memories of going to the skating rink, for example. And"},{"startTime":211.882,"endTime":214.724,"body":"yes, I am dating myself right now. I"},{"startTime":214.762,"endTime":217.348,"body":"remember vividly to this day"},{"startTime":217.514,"endTime":220.46800000000002,"body":"the times that I sat on the sidelines during this"},{"startTime":220.63400000000001,"endTime":223.07600000000002,"body":"couple's skating sessions, watching"},{"startTime":223.178,"endTime":225.88,"body":"everyone skate. I felt so"},{"startTime":225.95,"endTime":228.776,"body":"alone. And yet, when the"},{"startTime":228.878,"endTime":230.89999999999998,"body":"very few occasional brave"},{"startTime":230.98000000000002,"endTime":233.736,"body":"persons stopped by to ask me to"},{"startTime":233.75799999999998,"endTime":236.08999999999997,"body":"skate, I would not say yes."},{"startTime":236.8,"endTime":239.5,"body":"What was that about? I now"},{"startTime":239.57,"endTime":242.524,"body":"realize that that was"},{"startTime":242.562,"endTime":245.404,"body":"more about fear, doubt, lack of"},{"startTime":245.442,"endTime":248.31599999999997,"body":"clarity. And if I were to be brutally honest with"},{"startTime":248.33800000000002,"endTime":251.23199999999997,"body":"myself, it was more about judgment and"},{"startTime":251.286,"endTime":254.224,"body":"fast forwarding in my head, in my heart, in my"},{"startTime":254.262,"endTime":256.704,"body":"mind, to a relationship with this"},{"startTime":256.742,"endTime":259.664,"body":"person and all the reasons why it would not"},{"startTime":259.702,"endTime":260.61,"body":"work out."},{"startTime":262.42,"endTime":265.312,"body":"Instead, I would say no."},{"startTime":265.366,"endTime":268.24399999999997,"body":"Now I want to avoid all of that, so I'm just going to say no."},{"startTime":268.282,"endTime":271.092,"body":"To you asking me to skate. All of this"},{"startTime":271.146,"endTime":273.876,"body":"happened within fractions of a second in my head."},{"startTime":273.978,"endTime":276.584,"body":"And gosh be darn, it was just one"},{"startTime":276.622,"endTime":279.224,"body":"invitation to skate with somebody."},{"startTime":279.422,"endTime":282.26,"body":"Isn't it crazy how our minds"},{"startTime":282.42,"endTime":285.384,"body":"and bodies do so? It's really mostly in our mind,"},{"startTime":285.502,"endTime":287.932,"body":"and then we take it on into the rest of our body."},{"startTime":288.066,"endTime":290.508,"body":"It's crazy how our minds do so much"},{"startTime":290.594,"endTime":293.404,"body":"processing that results in being stuck or"},{"startTime":293.442,"endTime":296.236,"body":"in a struggle. Many of"},{"startTime":296.258,"endTime":298.83,"body":"us are wired to be in a relationship."},{"startTime":299.36,"endTime":302.176,"body":"We long for it. And so we go out into the"},{"startTime":302.198,"endTime":304.828,"body":"world and date with the desire and intention"},{"startTime":305.004,"endTime":307.33,"body":"to fall in love."},{"startTime":307.94,"endTime":310.88,"body":"Warning, I'm going to be talking about falling"},{"startTime":311.71999999999997,"endTime":313.75,"body":"and what the word fall means."},{"startTime":314.52,"endTime":317.236,"body":"Messages of falling in love are feeding our hearts and"},{"startTime":317.258,"endTime":319.94,"body":"minds everywhere and every day, and even"},{"startTime":320.01,"endTime":322.58,"body":"more so on holidays, family"},{"startTime":322.65,"endTime":325.566,"body":"gatherings, or, when we're the third"},{"startTime":325.588,"endTime":328.334,"body":"or the fifth wheel at events where"},{"startTime":328.372,"endTime":331.166,"body":"mostly couples are present. I believe this"},{"startTime":331.188,"endTime":333.806,"body":"has done us, you and me, a"},{"startTime":333.828,"endTime":336.546,"body":"disservice. I don't believe in"},{"startTime":336.568,"endTime":339.378,"body":"falling in love. In my work with singles and"},{"startTime":339.384,"endTime":342.05,"body":"couples over the last two decades, every"},{"startTime":342.12,"endTime":344.882,"body":"single person, male or female, who"},{"startTime":344.936,"endTime":347.13399999999996,"body":"fell in love experienced"},{"startTime":347.18199999999996,"endTime":349.942,"body":"heartache, struggle, and relationship"},{"startTime":350.07599999999996,"endTime":352.07,"body":"failure repeatedly."},{"startTime":353.60999999999996,"endTime":356.37399999999997,"body":"However, the ones who allowed love to"},{"startTime":356.412,"endTime":358.78999999999996,"body":"organically and naturally progress"},{"startTime":359.28999999999996,"endTime":362.074,"body":"in their relationship, whatever stage it"},{"startTime":362.11199999999997,"endTime":364.82599999999996,"body":"was, whether it was a friendship, family"},{"startTime":364.928,"endTime":367.43399999999997,"body":"relationship, or an"},{"startTime":367.472,"endTime":370.224,"body":"intimate relationship, or a desire"},{"startTime":370.272,"endTime":373.108,"body":"for an intimate relationship, every single one of"},{"startTime":373.114,"endTime":375.56,"body":"those people succeeded in not only"},{"startTime":375.63,"endTime":378.344,"body":"creating and designing, but also having"},{"startTime":378.542,"endTime":381.416,"body":"happy, fulfilling, deeply connecting and"},{"startTime":381.438,"endTime":383.32,"body":"sustaining relationships."},{"startTime":384.62,"endTime":387.324,"body":"I'm really big into words. They"},{"startTime":387.36199999999997,"endTime":390.204,"body":"have so much packed power,"},{"startTime":390.322,"endTime":393.164,"body":"energy and meaning, and they create our"},{"startTime":393.202,"endTime":395.26,"body":"reality as well as our dreams."},{"startTime":396.88,"endTime":399.68,"body":"We think in words and images, or we sense"},{"startTime":399.75,"endTime":402.62399999999997,"body":"them, we feel in words and images as"},{"startTime":402.662,"endTime":405.424,"body":"well. So just imagine for a moment the"},{"startTime":405.462,"endTime":408.032,"body":"power your words and"},{"startTime":408.08599999999996,"endTime":410.652,"body":"visuals and thoughts have over"},{"startTime":410.806,"endTime":413.776,"body":"you when you don't"},{"startTime":413.808,"endTime":414.78999999999996,"body":"choose them"},{"startTime":415.8,"endTime":418.58,"body":"intentionally, purposefully."},{"startTime":418.91999999999996,"endTime":421.904,"body":"To serve your highest good, to serve"},{"startTime":421.952,"endTime":424.792,"body":"your desires, to serve bringing your dreams into"},{"startTime":424.846,"endTime":427.464,"body":"reality. So the word to"},{"startTime":427.502,"endTime":430.072,"body":"fall or falling is very"},{"startTime":430.126,"endTime":432.824,"body":"powerful. If something is"},{"startTime":432.86199999999997,"endTime":435.69,"body":"falling, it means it is becoming lower"},{"startTime":436.15999999999997,"endTime":438.94,"body":"in size, amount, or strength."},{"startTime":440.08,"endTime":442.936,"body":"To fall means to suddenly go down onto the ground"},{"startTime":442.96799999999996,"endTime":445.4,"body":"or towards the ground"},{"startTime":445.56,"endTime":448.424,"body":"without intending to or by"},{"startTime":448.48199999999997,"endTime":451.45599999999996,"body":"accident. So you better believe I"},{"startTime":451.478,"endTime":453.69599999999997,"body":"am not into falling in love,"},{"startTime":453.798,"endTime":456.664,"body":"because that's, what I call accidental love"},{"startTime":456.782,"endTime":458.89,"body":"and not intentional love."},{"startTime":459.41999999999996,"endTime":461.88399999999996,"body":"To fall also means to be beaten or"},{"startTime":461.92199999999997,"endTime":464.812,"body":"defeated or losing your"},{"startTime":464.866,"endTime":467.82,"body":"power. And here's the one that really"},{"startTime":467.89,"endTime":470.21999999999997,"body":"grabbed me and choked me into tears."},{"startTime":471.03999999999996,"endTime":473.84799999999996,"body":"To fall means to move from a higher to a"},{"startTime":473.87399999999997,"endTime":476.704,"body":"lower level, typically rapidly and"},{"startTime":476.74199999999996,"endTime":479.56399999999996,"body":"without control. I was totally"},{"startTime":479.61199999999997,"endTime":482.43199999999996,"body":"doing this to myself in my dating years. No"},{"startTime":482.486,"endTime":485.312,"body":"wonder I was flailing and failing in my quest"},{"startTime":485.366,"endTime":488.24399999999997,"body":"to be loved. M after much time and"},{"startTime":488.282,"endTime":490.976,"body":"experience in dating world and many failed dating"},{"startTime":491.008,"endTime":494.00399999999996,"body":"relationships, I realized I no longer wanted to"},{"startTime":494.042,"endTime":496.324,"body":"use that word. That word fall or"},{"startTime":496.36199999999997,"endTime":498.89599999999996,"body":"falling, that has so much energy and"},{"startTime":498.938,"endTime":501.62399999999997,"body":"meaning that does not serve my highest good."},{"startTime":501.822,"endTime":504.616,"body":"Sure, there are other meanings of this word, like my"},{"startTime":504.638,"endTime":506.81,"body":"hair falls loosely around my face."},{"startTime":507.18,"endTime":510.13599999999997,"body":"But even with the"},{"startTime":510.15799999999996,"endTime":513.052,"body":"context of falling in love, I don't feel like"},{"startTime":513.106,"endTime":515.884,"body":"falling as a word connected with."},{"startTime":516.082,"endTime":518.844,"body":"I don't feel like feel that falling, or think"},{"startTime":558.5820000000001,"endTime":561.3280000000001,"body":"that falling as a word put together"},{"startTime":561.4140000000001,"endTime":564.244,"body":"with love or connected with love is a high"},{"startTime":564.282,"endTime":567.2040000000001,"body":"resonant, high vibration, energy word"},{"startTime":567.2420000000001,"endTime":570.1120000000001,"body":"or phrase that is designed"},{"startTime":570.2560000000001,"endTime":572.5600000000001,"body":"to coexist with the higher vibration"},{"startTime":572.6400000000001,"endTime":575.4920000000001,"body":"word of love. Not even"},{"startTime":575.546,"endTime":578.3760000000001,"body":"in the context of finding the love of your life. In"},{"startTime":578.398,"endTime":581.3040000000001,"body":"my stressfree dating system, single women who"},{"startTime":581.3420000000001,"endTime":583.9280000000001,"body":"have a desire, a deep desire to be in a"},{"startTime":583.9340000000001,"endTime":586.724,"body":"relationship that lasts where mutual"},{"startTime":586.772,"endTime":588.84,"body":"love, reciprocity, equality,"},{"startTime":588.9200000000001,"endTime":591.48,"body":"compassion, connection, joy,"},{"startTime":591.5600000000001,"endTime":593.1,"body":"ease, communication,"},{"startTime":593.6800000000001,"endTime":596.268,"body":"dreams, shared dreams, individual"},{"startTime":596.354,"endTime":599.052,"body":"dreams, being supported and more is"},{"startTime":599.1060000000001,"endTime":601.936,"body":"present. Well, they learn a new"},{"startTime":601.9580000000001,"endTime":604.2900000000001,"body":"way to explore who they are in a relationship."},{"startTime":604.74,"endTime":607.344,"body":"They design their ideal relationship"},{"startTime":607.4620000000001,"endTime":610.3520000000001,"body":"ahead of time with clarity. You see that"},{"startTime":610.4060000000001,"endTime":612.8800000000001,"body":"it is very intentional and purposeful."},{"startTime":613.3000000000001,"endTime":616.176,"body":"They become crystal clear about what works for them and what"},{"startTime":616.1980000000001,"endTime":618.3900000000001,"body":"will, know what will not."},{"startTime":619.08,"endTime":621.9240000000001,"body":"They start to see they are at choice. They"},{"startTime":621.9620000000001,"endTime":624.868,"body":"start to see that all those bad experiences with people"},{"startTime":625.0340000000001,"endTime":627.864,"body":"from their prior experiences were not really their"},{"startTime":627.902,"endTime":630.744,"body":"fault or the other person's fault. It was"},{"startTime":630.782,"endTime":633.6840000000001,"body":"simply about making choices that either honor"},{"startTime":633.7320000000001,"endTime":636.36,"body":"or dishonored themselves or"},{"startTime":636.5100000000001,"endTime":639.1800000000001,"body":"that were out of alignment with who we are and"},{"startTime":639.2500000000001,"endTime":641.34,"body":"our deepest desires."},{"startTime":642.6400000000001,"endTime":645.4040000000001,"body":"Through this system, these women then are able to"},{"startTime":645.4420000000001,"endTime":648.4280000000001,"body":"almost magically attract more of the"},{"startTime":648.4340000000001,"endTime":651.0040000000001,"body":"types of people and experiences that are aligned with their"},{"startTime":651.042,"endTime":654.0340000000001,"body":"plan, ultimately leading them to the love, of their"},{"startTime":654.0720000000001,"endTime":656.9620000000001,"body":"life. And I also happen to know this"},{"startTime":657.0160000000001,"endTime":659.6020000000001,"body":"because I used the system myself and met"},{"startTime":659.6560000000001,"endTime":662.4940000000001,"body":"my darling husband, who I've been married"},{"startTime":662.542,"endTime":665.3180000000001,"body":"to for. It's going on 19 years,"},{"startTime":665.4040000000001,"endTime":668.1700000000001,"body":"almost, later this year, within"},{"startTime":668.2400000000001,"endTime":671.1940000000001,"body":"six weeks of really doing this inner work. You see,"},{"startTime":671.2320000000001,"endTime":674.0980000000001,"body":"this inner work is a mirror"},{"startTime":674.1340000000001,"endTime":676.8740000000001,"body":"to our outer world and our outer reality"},{"startTime":676.9220000000001,"endTime":679.8220000000001,"body":"and our outer experiences. So"},{"startTime":679.8760000000001,"endTime":682.1260000000001,"body":"whatever we're thinking, feeling, doing, being"},{"startTime":682.2280000000001,"endTime":685.118,"body":"internally, the world is going"},{"startTime":685.1240000000001,"endTime":687.666,"body":"to mirror or try to match up with that."},{"startTime":687.8480000000001,"endTime":690.3700000000001,"body":"And I learned that many times the hard"},{"startTime":690.44,"endTime":693.1700000000001,"body":"way until I started to think"},{"startTime":693.2400000000001,"endTime":695.7940000000001,"body":"differently, feel differently, see things"},{"startTime":695.8320000000001,"endTime":698.45,"body":"differently, and plan, planning."},{"startTime":698.8100000000001,"endTime":701.464,"body":"I cannot emphasize, how"},{"startTime":701.662,"endTime":704.3220000000001,"body":"magical, planning is,"},{"startTime":704.4560000000001,"endTime":707.4380000000001,"body":"and yet so few of us do it in all areas"},{"startTime":707.4540000000001,"endTime":710.4180000000001,"body":"of our lives. Sure, we plan our day out on our"},{"startTime":710.4240000000001,"endTime":713.2500000000001,"body":"calendar and our to do lists and our jobs,"},{"startTime":713.33,"endTime":716.022,"body":"the things we have to do at work, but how many of us"},{"startTime":716.0760000000001,"endTime":718.998,"body":"really plan our dreams? How many of"},{"startTime":719.0040000000001,"endTime":721.84,"body":"us really, plan out and map out"},{"startTime":721.9100000000001,"endTime":723.83,"body":"a path to"},{"startTime":724.2,"endTime":727.104,"body":"purposefully and intentionally accomplish and achieve"},{"startTime":727.152,"endTime":729.83,"body":"and receive what we want in our lives"},{"startTime":730.2,"endTime":733.1720000000001,"body":"and even who we want? These women also learn"},{"startTime":733.2260000000001,"endTime":736.1160000000001,"body":"to stop dating. The word date is"},{"startTime":736.138,"endTime":738.984,"body":"another word that. Oh, man, let's talk about that"},{"startTime":739.022,"endTime":741.7200000000001,"body":"now. Okay. It's associated with"},{"startTime":741.7900000000001,"endTime":744.0520000000001,"body":"time and place or a type of edible"},{"startTime":744.1160000000001,"endTime":746.9320000000001,"body":"fruit. So, yeah, I can conceivably"},{"startTime":746.9960000000001,"endTime":749.8840000000001,"body":"see how it evolved, most ostensibly by"},{"startTime":749.9220000000001,"endTime":752.8120000000001,"body":"marketers and product service companies, to mean having"},{"startTime":752.9460000000001,"endTime":755.292,"body":"a social or romantic appointment or"},{"startTime":755.3460000000001,"endTime":758.1400000000001,"body":"engagement. But this word date"},{"startTime":758.21,"endTime":761.1840000000001,"body":"has many, many other meanings. And"},{"startTime":761.2220000000001,"endTime":763.8460000000001,"body":"it's, only reflected to mean"},{"startTime":764.0280000000001,"endTime":766.902,"body":"having a social or romantic appointment or engagement in"},{"startTime":766.9560000000001,"endTime":769.7500000000001,"body":"one context. Every other meaning of the word date"},{"startTime":769.82,"endTime":772.6560000000001,"body":"is, related to time and or place"},{"startTime":772.758,"endTime":775.652,"body":"or the fruit. So I can totally see"},{"startTime":775.7060000000001,"endTime":778.0840000000001,"body":"how marketers, product service companies and other"},{"startTime":778.1220000000001,"endTime":780.9480000000001,"body":"providers took it on to mean having a"},{"startTime":780.9540000000001,"endTime":783.604,"body":"social or romantic appointment or engagement. Then the word"},{"startTime":783.642,"endTime":786.6160000000001,"body":"dating took on a whole new energy. And then"},{"startTime":786.7180000000001,"endTime":789.5600000000001,"body":"there's business models around it. Those business"},{"startTime":789.6300000000001,"endTime":792.4040000000001,"body":"models, make no mistake, leverage our emotions"},{"startTime":792.4520000000001,"endTime":795.1120000000001,"body":"and feelings, and they use"},{"startTime":795.166,"endTime":797.9760000000001,"body":"it without, I, would"},{"startTime":797.998,"endTime":800.344,"body":"say in some cases, not"},{"startTime":800.3820000000001,"endTime":802.8140000000001,"body":"necessarily, with the intent to"},{"startTime":802.8520000000001,"endTime":805.7900000000001,"body":"hurt. And maybe"},{"startTime":805.8600000000001,"endTime":808.7400000000001,"body":"they don't recognize this unintended result."},{"startTime":809.19,"endTime":812.162,"body":"But the leveraging of our emotions and feelings then being"},{"startTime":812.2160000000001,"endTime":815.1820000000001,"body":"used, that breeds or to breed"},{"startTime":815.2460000000001,"endTime":818.2420000000001,"body":"more loneliness, more feelings of lack of love,"},{"startTime":818.3760000000001,"endTime":820.9200000000001,"body":"a stronger desire to have a relationship,"},{"startTime":821.7700000000001,"endTime":824.6440000000001,"body":"a, strong feeling of, what's wrong with me? What am"},{"startTime":824.666,"endTime":827.5720000000001,"body":"I doing wrong? All these other people in my life have"},{"startTime":827.6100000000001,"endTime":829.7320000000001,"body":"relationships and more self"},{"startTime":829.7700000000001,"endTime":832.4540000000001,"body":"deprecation, with the"},{"startTime":832.4760000000001,"endTime":835.1780000000001,"body":"intention of getting us to take action. Like"},{"startTime":835.248,"endTime":838.234,"body":"getting on a dating site or something else, depending on who or what"},{"startTime":838.2560000000001,"endTime":840.9220000000001,"body":"is sending you that message. That results in"},{"startTime":840.96,"endTime":843.4420000000001,"body":"that, low vibration emotion and"},{"startTime":843.4800000000001,"endTime":845.8480000000001,"body":"feeling that results in us,"},{"startTime":846.8980000000001,"endTime":849.2940000000001,"body":"craving and wanting it even more in an"},{"startTime":849.316,"endTime":852.142,"body":"unnatural, inorganic way. I"},{"startTime":852.1800000000001,"endTime":854.7020000000001,"body":"invite you to be grounded and resonant. And no"},{"startTime":854.7400000000001,"endTime":857.09,"body":"longer take in all of those"},{"startTime":857.1440000000001,"endTime":859.6020000000001,"body":"messages that are self deprecating, that"},{"startTime":859.6400000000001,"endTime":862.4340000000001,"body":"result in you feeling less than who"},{"startTime":862.4560000000001,"endTime":865.282,"body":"you are. You see, wherever you are,"},{"startTime":865.32,"endTime":867.9540000000001,"body":"in your context and experience of"},{"startTime":867.9760000000001,"endTime":870.8340000000001,"body":"being single or wanting to"},{"startTime":870.8560000000001,"endTime":873.542,"body":"have a love life. Whatever you are feeling right"},{"startTime":873.58,"endTime":876.4540000000001,"body":"now, and whatever your past relationship"},{"startTime":876.6360000000001,"endTime":879.1740000000001,"body":"history and patterns were,"},{"startTime":879.3560000000001,"endTime":881.9620000000001,"body":"please hear me when I say this. It's not your"},{"startTime":882.0000000000001,"endTime":884.95,"body":"doing. It's not your choosing."},{"startTime":885.094,"endTime":888.0740000000001,"body":"It's not your being. All it"},{"startTime":888.0960000000001,"endTime":890.8100000000001,"body":"is is learning and conditioning and"},{"startTime":890.864,"endTime":893.7180000000001,"body":"programming from external sources"},{"startTime":893.7980000000001,"endTime":896.6220000000001,"body":"outside of yourself that did and does"},{"startTime":896.6600000000001,"endTime":899.5340000000001,"body":"not serve you. It's not the people who were"},{"startTime":899.556,"endTime":902.522,"body":"in your life that contributed to the pain, struggle"},{"startTime":902.57,"endTime":905.3740000000001,"body":"or sufferings doing either. You all"},{"startTime":905.3960000000001,"endTime":908.1940000000001,"body":"were simply being within the constructs of"},{"startTime":908.2160000000001,"endTime":911.042,"body":"dating that you were unaware would create"},{"startTime":911.08,"endTime":914.0500000000001,"body":"the pain, struggle, and suffering until"},{"startTime":914.1840000000001,"endTime":916.628,"body":"you became aware, but then"},{"startTime":917.1580000000001,"endTime":920.0500000000001,"body":"you didn't know what to do with that awareness. So"},{"startTime":920.104,"endTime":922.9460000000001,"body":"what happened is we, and I include"},{"startTime":922.9620000000001,"endTime":925.7020000000001,"body":"myself in this, held onto those memories and"},{"startTime":925.7400000000001,"endTime":928.6740000000001,"body":"carried them forward into our present and carried"},{"startTime":928.7060000000001,"endTime":931.6500000000001,"body":"them forward into, the relationships that we had from that"},{"startTime":931.6720000000001,"endTime":934.1100000000001,"body":"point forward. They're like heavy"},{"startTime":934.142,"endTime":937.0780000000001,"body":"backpacks on our backs and suitcases in our hands that"},{"startTime":937.1160000000001,"endTime":939.9900000000001,"body":"feel like they're superglued to us and"},{"startTime":940.0120000000001,"endTime":942.8500000000001,"body":"we can't get rid of them. It feels like we can't"},{"startTime":942.8820000000001,"endTime":945.5140000000001,"body":"even reach a zipper to let out some of the"},{"startTime":945.6640000000001,"endTime":948.522,"body":"stuffing in those backpacks and"},{"startTime":948.6880000000001,"endTime":951.5780000000001,"body":"bags today. It really saddens me to see"},{"startTime":951.6160000000001,"endTime":954.5540000000001,"body":"all the mainstream messages and models about men, women,"},{"startTime":954.6240000000001,"endTime":957.4700000000001,"body":"love and dating. There's no shortage of"},{"startTime":957.4920000000001,"endTime":960.33,"body":"advice, books, courses, experts, dating"},{"startTime":960.3620000000001,"endTime":962.7300000000001,"body":"sites, dating organizations, retreats, et"},{"startTime":962.7620000000001,"endTime":965.4220000000001,"body":"cetera, with the promise of"},{"startTime":965.5880000000001,"endTime":968.5260000000001,"body":"finding you love. What we think, see, do"},{"startTime":968.58,"endTime":970.9780000000001,"body":"and feel creates our reality. That is,"},{"startTime":971.0160000000001,"endTime":973.474,"body":"attraction, inaction."},{"startTime":973.8140000000001,"endTime":976.6100000000001,"body":"We falsely think that this is"},{"startTime":976.6320000000001,"endTime":979.33,"body":"all there is. So let me just keep using those tools or"},{"startTime":979.3520000000001,"endTime":982.07,"body":"methods the way they tell me to, or the"},{"startTime":982.0920000000001,"endTime":984.5880000000001,"body":"way, others have used it and had"},{"startTime":984.6260000000001,"endTime":987.3080000000001,"body":"success. That success,"},{"startTime":987.426,"endTime":990.1240000000001,"body":"I believe, was accidental and not"},{"startTime":990.1940000000001,"endTime":993.1580000000001,"body":"intentional. and the reason why"},{"startTime":993.1960000000001,"endTime":996.1020000000001,"body":"I say that is because all of"},{"startTime":996.1080000000001,"endTime":998.9180000000001,"body":"the clients and people that I have had the"},{"startTime":998.9560000000001,"endTime":1001.7040000000001,"body":"privilege to work with and collaborate with"},{"startTime":1002.0740000000001,"endTime":1004.9300000000001,"body":"that were not intentional, use"},{"startTime":1004.9720000000001,"endTime":1007.9680000000001,"body":"the tools and accidentally, it"},{"startTime":1008.0060000000001,"endTime":1010.8800000000001,"body":"just kind of worked out and created success in their relationship"},{"startTime":1010.9820000000001,"endTime":1013.5200000000001,"body":"goal many of those"},{"startTime":1013.6220000000001,"endTime":1016.594,"body":"years later, sometimes decades later,"},{"startTime":1017.224,"endTime":1020.1480000000001,"body":"experienced failure, those"},{"startTime":1020.186,"endTime":1022.9800000000001,"body":"relationships ending, those"},{"startTime":1023.0020000000001,"endTime":1025.9080000000001,"body":"individuals finding me to help them save their"},{"startTime":1025.9460000000001,"endTime":1028.88,"body":"relationship. So I'm"},{"startTime":1028.912,"endTime":1031.848,"body":"more of a preventive type gal. I'm like,"},{"startTime":1031.886,"endTime":1034.234,"body":"why do we even have to go through all of that?"},{"startTime":1034.684,"endTime":1037.288,"body":"Why can't we just plan and be"},{"startTime":1037.326,"endTime":1039.9560000000001,"body":"prevention oriented and guarantee"},{"startTime":1040.02,"endTime":1042.314,"body":"our sustained and future success"},{"startTime":1043.2640000000001,"endTime":1046.028,"body":"intentionally? So, here's some things that I"},{"startTime":1046.066,"endTime":1048.878,"body":"did and how I felt, in my own life"},{"startTime":1048.916,"endTime":1051.738,"body":"and journey. One is I stopped"},{"startTime":1051.786,"endTime":1054.738,"body":"using the word date or dating during"},{"startTime":1054.776,"endTime":1057.71,"body":"my single years. Instead, my vibe shifted"},{"startTime":1057.742,"endTime":1060.2740000000001,"body":"to a place of empowerment of self love,"},{"startTime":1060.424,"endTime":1063.358,"body":"compassion, and love of people, genuine"},{"startTime":1063.406,"endTime":1066.114,"body":"interest and curiosity of"},{"startTime":1066.184,"endTime":1068.984,"body":"people. And if I was"},{"startTime":1069.354,"endTime":1072.07,"body":"with somebody, for me, it was a person of the"},{"startTime":1072.092,"endTime":1075.008,"body":"opposite sex. heterosexual relationship is"},{"startTime":1075.046,"endTime":1078.0,"body":"what works for me. A little side note, I"},{"startTime":1078.022,"endTime":1080.928,"body":"work with all relationship models. I"},{"startTime":1080.9660000000001,"endTime":1083.7160000000001,"body":"am non judgmental, non critical, very open"},{"startTime":1083.77,"endTime":1086.596,"body":"minded, and very supportive of you and"},{"startTime":1086.65,"endTime":1089.476,"body":"what works for you. So when I share about"},{"startTime":1089.53,"endTime":1092.4080000000001,"body":"my life, it may not be a fit for you as to the"},{"startTime":1092.4460000000001,"endTime":1095.316,"body":"construct of the relationship, but the messages"},{"startTime":1095.38,"endTime":1098.2,"body":"and the lessons and the learnings and the tools and the"},{"startTime":1098.222,"endTime":1101.15,"body":"planning, construct and framework that"},{"startTime":1101.172,"endTime":1104.046,"body":"I provide can be customized for you and"},{"startTime":1104.1000000000001,"endTime":1107.01,"body":"by you. So back to"},{"startTime":1107.032,"endTime":1110.018,"body":"my vibe. I shifted to a place of empowerment, self love and"},{"startTime":1110.056,"endTime":1112.8980000000001,"body":"compassion. I started being interested in"},{"startTime":1112.936,"endTime":1115.49,"body":"people genuinely. Without thinking that it was a"},{"startTime":1115.512,"endTime":1118.406,"body":"date. I started learning about different"},{"startTime":1118.46,"endTime":1121.41,"body":"people out in the world and what was aligned"},{"startTime":1121.442,"endTime":1123.718,"body":"and resonant and vibrant for me and what"},{"startTime":1123.756,"endTime":1126.424,"body":"wasn't. I realized that"},{"startTime":1127.114,"endTime":1130.01,"body":"I couldn't be all for everybody as much as I am, all"},{"startTime":1130.032,"endTime":1132.718,"body":"about love and being loved. I have"},{"startTime":1132.756,"endTime":1135.31,"body":"learned the hard way that that is not possible"},{"startTime":1135.492,"endTime":1138.4460000000001,"body":"for me to be that way with every single human"},{"startTime":1138.5,"endTime":1140.926,"body":"being on this planet. And that was very"},{"startTime":1140.98,"endTime":1143.93,"body":"relieving. Also the word date"},{"startTime":1143.972,"endTime":1146.866,"body":"or dating and all the baggage and luggage that comes with it,"},{"startTime":1147.0,"endTime":1149.97,"body":"including all the service providers. And believe me,"},{"startTime":1149.992,"endTime":1152.354,"body":"I've read a lot of books about this topic,"},{"startTime":1153.194,"endTime":1156.148,"body":"and, different magazines, different opinions,"},{"startTime":1156.196,"endTime":1159.176,"body":"et cetera. And it's all the same old stuff,"},{"startTime":1159.23,"endTime":1161.796,"body":"just reworded. And it just all felt"},{"startTime":1161.94,"endTime":1164.356,"body":"very manipulative to me once I became"},{"startTime":1164.42,"endTime":1167.224,"body":"aware. And here's the rub."},{"startTime":1167.384,"endTime":1169.9959999999999,"body":"Here was the gut punch for me. I"},{"startTime":1170.05,"endTime":1172.956,"body":"realized and accepted and acknowledged that I was"},{"startTime":1173.01,"endTime":1175.404,"body":"allowing all of these external forces"},{"startTime":1175.744,"endTime":1178.716,"body":"to control my inner world, which"},{"startTime":1178.77,"endTime":1181.424,"body":"then produced the results that I was"},{"startTime":1181.494,"endTime":1184.06,"body":"having and experiencing in my outer"},{"startTime":1184.0919999999999,"endTime":1186.96,"body":"world. Not to my benefit, of course. I"},{"startTime":1186.982,"endTime":1189.968,"body":"learned much later on that it was not designed to be my"},{"startTime":1190.006,"endTime":1192.884,"body":"benefit and that these were just all"},{"startTime":1192.954,"endTime":1195.908,"body":"tools to help carry me"},{"startTime":1195.946,"endTime":1198.868,"body":"towards my goals and that I could choose how"},{"startTime":1198.906,"endTime":1201.84,"body":"and when to use them. And then I stopped"},{"startTime":1201.872,"endTime":1204.728,"body":"giving all my credo, all of my"},{"startTime":1204.766,"endTime":1207.512,"body":"faith, all of my trust to these tools. And I"},{"startTime":1207.518,"endTime":1210.228,"body":"stopped succumbing to the tools. Method"},{"startTime":1210.276,"endTime":1211.704,"body":"advisor, expert,"},{"startTime":1212.524,"endTime":1215.06,"body":"coach, one way or the"},{"startTime":1215.1019999999999,"endTime":1217.5339999999999,"body":"highway, one solution only,"},{"startTime":1219.344,"endTime":1221.796,"body":"opinions. And I started"},{"startTime":1221.85,"endTime":1224.738,"body":"tuning in to, When"},{"startTime":1224.776,"endTime":1227.57,"body":"I saw something that interested me or sparked my"},{"startTime":1227.5919999999999,"endTime":1230.366,"body":"interest on dating or a relationship topic,"},{"startTime":1230.43,"endTime":1233.03,"body":"I would tune in and see whether it was resonant for"},{"startTime":1233.052,"endTime":1235.99,"body":"me. I wouldn't just jump at the excitement of"},{"startTime":1236.012,"endTime":1238.6299999999999,"body":"it. I would wait until I was in neutral energy"},{"startTime":1238.812,"endTime":1241.69,"body":"to when my hormones were balanced, when my"},{"startTime":1241.712,"endTime":1244.362,"body":"endorphins were calm, I wasn't in"},{"startTime":1244.528,"endTime":1247.2839999999999,"body":"a false high state. through those emotions and"},{"startTime":1247.354,"endTime":1250.068,"body":"endorphins, I waited till I was grounded, and then I would"},{"startTime":1250.106,"endTime":1253.032,"body":"see, is this resonant? Is this going to serve me"},{"startTime":1253.038,"endTime":1255.594,"body":"in my highest good? Is this going to propel me forward,"},{"startTime":1256.214,"endTime":1259.078,"body":"in my desires, dreams and objectives? I"},{"startTime":1259.116,"endTime":1261.526,"body":"realized I was at choice, not"},{"startTime":1261.58,"endTime":1264.0339999999999,"body":"them. I realized,"},{"startTime":1264.114,"endTime":1266.364,"body":"however, that I needed to stop"},{"startTime":1267.0539999999999,"endTime":1269.818,"body":"allowing them to choose for"},{"startTime":1269.856,"endTime":1272.8419999999999,"body":"me. Now, I'm not saying that dating sites or products or services"},{"startTime":1272.9279999999999,"endTime":1275.738,"body":"are inherently bad. What I am saying is"},{"startTime":1275.776,"endTime":1277.918,"body":"that how we use and leverage them is off"},{"startTime":1277.956,"endTime":1280.51,"body":"kilter. We put all our faith into these"},{"startTime":1280.532,"endTime":1283.422,"body":"external sources and their process before putting"},{"startTime":1283.508,"endTime":1286.094,"body":"ultimate and complete faith in ourselves."},{"startTime":1287.234,"endTime":1289.966,"body":"Sadly, the majority of these options are low vibration"},{"startTime":1290.03,"endTime":1291.924,"body":"and low resonant options"},{"startTime":1292.774,"endTime":1295.586,"body":"for those who are sensitive, empathic, love based,"},{"startTime":1295.6399999999999,"endTime":1298.098,"body":"compassion oriented, high"},{"startTime":1298.136,"endTime":1301.03,"body":"vibration beings. These models don't generate the"},{"startTime":1301.052,"endTime":1303.286,"body":"results they seek. These"},{"startTime":1303.42,"endTime":1305.254,"body":"models prey,"},{"startTime":1307.394,"endTime":1310.08,"body":"on our sensitiveness, our"},{"startTime":1310.182,"endTime":1313.106,"body":"desires, our dreams, our"},{"startTime":1313.16,"endTime":1315.922,"body":"emotions and feelings and lack, and I don't"},{"startTime":1315.9379999999999,"endTime":1318.834,"body":"prescribe to that anymore. I just don't."},{"startTime":1318.914,"endTime":1321.91,"body":"I want to bring the best out in you. You are"},{"startTime":1321.932,"endTime":1324.518,"body":"a divine human being. You are brilliant. You are"},{"startTime":1324.556,"endTime":1326.0439999999999,"body":"radiant. You are amazing."},{"startTime":1327.0539999999999,"endTime":1330.01,"body":"And these models that don't bring that out in"},{"startTime":1330.032,"endTime":1332.844,"body":"you, I am not a fan of,"},{"startTime":1333.5339999999999,"endTime":1335.564,"body":"nor do I prescribe to them."},{"startTime":1336.334,"endTime":1339.2459999999999,"body":"And here's a secret. These"},{"startTime":1339.3,"endTime":1342.158,"body":"models don't generate the results you"},{"startTime":1342.196,"endTime":1344.7839999999999,"body":"seek. Only if you don't place yourself"},{"startTime":1345.5539999999999,"endTime":1348.49,"body":"in the I choose seat and just use those tools"},{"startTime":1348.522,"endTime":1350.61,"body":"for your own divine and highest purpose and"},{"startTime":1350.632,"endTime":1352.484,"body":"objectives. And"},{"startTime":1353.574,"endTime":1356.398,"body":"tune in to see whether it's resonant"},{"startTime":1356.446,"endTime":1359.038,"body":"for you, going to serve you for your highest"},{"startTime":1359.086,"endTime":1361.874,"body":"good, and whether it's going to propel you forward or"},{"startTime":1361.944,"endTime":1364.758,"body":"backward into the abyss of"},{"startTime":1364.796,"endTime":1366.264,"body":"feeling bad about yourself."},{"startTime":1367.834,"endTime":1370.69,"body":"What if, instead, we approach"},{"startTime":1370.722,"endTime":1373.442,"body":"them as tools to assist us, to intentionally"},{"startTime":1373.618,"endTime":1376.3899999999999,"body":"and purposefully accomplish our"},{"startTime":1376.412,"endTime":1379.306,"body":"desires, dreams and goals? I invite you to please stop"},{"startTime":1379.36,"endTime":1382.346,"body":"giving your power of choice away to others and"},{"startTime":1382.3999999999999,"endTime":1385.1299999999999,"body":"anything else outside of yourself. I"},{"startTime":1385.152,"endTime":1388.098,"body":"invite you to tune into your resonance and vibrations."},{"startTime":1388.2459999999999,"endTime":1390.638,"body":"Please honor yourself. Please acknowledge your"},{"startTime":1390.676,"endTime":1393.53,"body":"choices and make choices that are highly"},{"startTime":1393.562,"endTime":1396.494,"body":"resonant, high, vibrating, and"},{"startTime":1396.644,"endTime":1399.406,"body":"totally, totally grounding for you going"},{"startTime":1399.46,"endTime":1402.19,"body":"forward. And if you find that you're"},{"startTime":1402.222,"endTime":1404.594,"body":"uncertain or you have doubt or anxiety,"},{"startTime":1404.934,"endTime":1407.854,"body":"those are. Wow. Those are gifts."},{"startTime":1407.934,"endTime":1410.098,"body":"Those are signposts. Those are"},{"startTime":1410.136,"endTime":1413.058,"body":"guideposts telling you you do not have to"},{"startTime":1413.096,"endTime":1415.67,"body":"choose right now. Those are"},{"startTime":1415.692,"endTime":1418.55,"body":"guideposts saying, just be patient, go get busy, do other"},{"startTime":1418.572,"endTime":1421.27,"body":"stuff. Take your mind off that topic and wait it"},{"startTime":1421.292,"endTime":1424.038,"body":"out. Saying"},{"startTime":1424.156,"endTime":1427.0819999999999,"body":"yes or no becomes easier when you give yourself the"},{"startTime":1427.088,"endTime":1429.738,"body":"gift of time to process it instead of just"},{"startTime":1429.776,"endTime":1432.538,"body":"diving in and just"},{"startTime":1432.576,"endTime":1435.396,"body":"going forward and making choice, just going for it"},{"startTime":1435.53,"endTime":1438.52,"body":"without processing it. Feeding ourselves and"},{"startTime":1438.542,"endTime":1441.444,"body":"what I mean is feeding our minds, hearts and soul"},{"startTime":1441.604,"endTime":1444.568,"body":"messages and information, that's high vibration. And high"},{"startTime":1444.606,"endTime":1446.982,"body":"resonance of, high resonance is really"},{"startTime":1447.068,"endTime":1449.83,"body":"what we are craving. I"},{"startTime":1449.8519999999999,"endTime":1452.81,"body":"am really privileged and honored to say that this is what I"},{"startTime":1452.8319999999999,"endTime":1455.818,"body":"provide in my stressfree dating system. Thank you"},{"startTime":1455.856,"endTime":1458.778,"body":"so much for listening. Today, I invite you to take this"},{"startTime":1458.816,"endTime":1461.626,"body":"step in your life in every moment going"},{"startTime":1461.68,"endTime":1464.586,"body":"forward. Stop using the words date or dating."},{"startTime":1464.6499999999999,"endTime":1467.194,"body":"They falsely create what feels like high vibration"},{"startTime":1467.274,"endTime":1470.206,"body":"energy. But it's temporary and not"},{"startTime":1470.26,"endTime":1473.0819999999999,"body":"sustained. Take a look at other words. If you're"},{"startTime":1473.098,"endTime":1475.722,"body":"not single and you're listening to this podcast"},{"startTime":1475.898,"endTime":1478.706,"body":"that aren't high vibration and choose"},{"startTime":1478.76,"endTime":1481.538,"body":"ones that are that work for you when something or"},{"startTime":1481.576,"endTime":1484.546,"body":"someone does not feel aligned or right, please"},{"startTime":1484.6,"endTime":1487.07,"body":"be silent to hear your heart, mind and soul's"},{"startTime":1487.1019999999999,"endTime":1489.878,"body":"whisper. Please put your faith and trust in"},{"startTime":1489.916,"endTime":1492.758,"body":"that you will know what to do"},{"startTime":1492.796,"endTime":1495.558,"body":"or say. If you allow yourself the time,"},{"startTime":1495.756,"endTime":1498.47,"body":"the breath, the listening, and the"},{"startTime":1498.492,"endTime":1501.21,"body":"honoring of your inner wisdom, then"},{"startTime":1501.312,"endTime":1504.17,"body":"simply ask yourself, what choices can I"},{"startTime":1504.192,"endTime":1507.1779999999999,"body":"make now, tiny or large, that"},{"startTime":1507.216,"endTime":1509.898,"body":"can and will restore me to alignment or"},{"startTime":1509.936,"endTime":1512.506,"body":"feeling resonant or grounded?"}]}