Welcome to the Better Relationships podcast, where Dr. Dar Hawks, the relationship healer, shares the advice and insights you need to create the healthy, happy, and harmonious relationship you deserve. Today we're going to talk about symbols and specifically the dreamcatcher and the butterfly that are the source of inspiration and encouragement for this podcast and that you can see in the podcast cover image. Want to talk a little bit about symbols? As human beings? we are meaning making machines. We look for meaning in everything that we see, perceive and interpret, and we either internalize it, or we do something with it and put it out in the world through sharing with our friends, our family, or within ourselves, and, through our introspection. I find that, in nature, when we're walking around and seeing things, seeing pictures, seeing words, signs and shapes, they all bring us meaningful expression and grounding in times of need or a message that we might need to hear in a specific moment. Maybe you're going through a tough time, maybe you haven't solidified, an answer to a question or something that you'd like to do, but you're still not sure, and you see a symbol or a sign or a message or a picture, and you get the message that, oh my gosh, I need to go ahead and do this. Or alternatively, no, I don't need to do this. It could be that, or it could be even a message to just wait a little longer. if we just be patient, wait and listen and look for them. Symbols really are a way for us to understand ourselves, our wants, needs, and dreams. They are used in literature, in television, movies, advertising on products, really in the clothes that we wear, the jewelry, whatever we do, to tattoos. However we choose to express ourselves in the world, they also are a way to understand better our wants, needs, and dreams, and, give us hope and inspiration to get up every day. And maybe it's just taking one step, maybe it's, doing a lot more in a day. My point is, symbols are really everywhere, and all we have to do is open our hearts and mind to see them. And I'm going to share two stories with you. One is from my own life, and one is from the native tradition, in the Americas. As I stated earlier, the symbols for the conscious living podcast are the butterfly and the dreamcatcher. My husband and I went to Aruba many years ago, and there was a butterfly farm tucked away on a side road that we visited. I just really wanted to go. I'd never been to a place that conserves butterflies. As we walked through this brownish painted door that was very roughly cut by wood planks and very simple for a door and for an entrance. it was wired fencing to keep the butterflies indoors or in this facility. I just found the place magical as I walked through that door, it really was a magical and mystical experience. So while I was there, as I was walking through the farm, it wasn't long before a blue morpho butterfly landed on the center of my lower back, right there where that little bone is on your lower back, in the center. And it just stayed there almost for 2 hours. It felt like an eternity. And as I was walking and moving through the butterfly, just in awe of what I was seeing at the farm with the trees and the fruits and how they would land on the floor, the ground was like this white sparkly sand that had been packed down, and this blue morpho butterfly just stayed there. So I acknowledged its presence there. I allowed it to gratefully bless and be there with me for the time that I was there. I also remember asking it, what messages do you have for me? Why are you here? What do you want to say to me? And I wasn't hearing anything. It felt like the butterfly and I were just coexisting and being present with each other in silence. I have never forgotten this butterfly. I remember asking it what it was there to tell me, and I heard, like I said earlier, nothing. Until I just got really quiet and I heard this whisper, be patient, be calm. Wait. It will come. When the Butterfly was complete, as I share in my own words, it flew off into a tree. I've since learned many years later with practice, experimentation and play, that waiting is truly an empowering emotional, physical, mental and spiritual space to be in and live in. I know today that when, for example, I am trying to get something done for a client or at work and it's just not coming together. Maybe my computer is, not behaving well, or I keep getting interrupted, or my mind space is foggy, or I'm congested like I am in this moment. And things aren't just moving, I'm not in flow. I know it's time to just wait. Go do something else. Go be still and trust that my higher self, trust the forces larger than me in the universe will bring to me what I need to get that thing done if it's meant to be for me. And that has been true for this podcast as well. It's been morphing and marinating in me for a very long time. The message from the butterfly as a reminder to me and you is be patient, become and wait. And when the butterfly was complete, it flew off into a tree. I did look for it again and again and realized that we were complete and was able to let it go. So with the waiting and being patient and being calm, sure, I still get frustrated. Yes. I try to push what I want at times. And then I remember the butterfly, and I remember to get back into flow into that space of allowing, surrendering, and being in joy and being present with consciousness, being present with awareness, and being at choice with what I am, doing and being in the moment. With that example I gave you, where I'm met with resistance. I acknowledge the resistance as a message to do something else, go be something else in that moment and come back to it later. There are lots of views and traditions about the meaning of butterfly. I do invite you to search on the Internet if it interests you to learn more. For me, I find that the butterfly is a message for me to remember that when I get caught up in societal culture and norms of rush, get things done, achieve more and be more, and see that it is exhausting to me, mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I remember the butterfly, and I believe that butterfly was warning me to shift to the state of calm, to the state of waiting and patience. I believe it was there to tell me that I do help make dreams come true through practical transformation and change. In my work as a life and business coach, I also think that that blue morpho butterfly was here to share with me that I am a multidimensional being. This butterfly is also, a message for transformation. It is a message that I am multitalented, that I have many gifts, and it's okay for me to not do, what everyone else seems to be telling me and has told me to do, which is focus on one thing and do it well. That's not where my joy is. It's not where my gifts are. And if that resonates for you, I invite you to embrace all the things that you are good at, let go of the things that you're not good at, and just be enjoy with, your choices moment to moment. So the blue butterfly is often considered a sign of life in most cultures. It is a symbol of acceptance, honor, great energy, and transformation. It can also symbolize the passing of time, change, and meaningful purpose in life. For me, seeing a blue butterfly or holding it had a really calming effect on me. And in some parts of the world, blue butterflies are very rare, so it is considered powerfully and extremely lucky. To observe one. The blue butterfly is also a symbol of spirit speaking through transformation and change. And as I reflect on, the time that this butterfly landed on my back to now, I have been through enormous change, and now I'm in the transformation process. In some cultures, spotting a blue butterfly is also thought to bring sudden good luck. They are also considered wish granters. Seeing a blue butterfly means that a wish one makes or made will come true. And a blue butterfly is also often thought to symbolize joy and happiness. And so that blue butterfly came to me, and as I was looking for logos for my business, as I was morphing and transforming it from a prior iteration, prior imagery, prior meaning to what it is now, this beautiful, transformational blue butterfly image came to me, in my inbox, and I went ahead and purchased it and now use it as the vision, mission, purpose in my life and also for my business. So now I want to talk a little bit about the dream catcher. I've always been told, as I'm sharing with people, or I'm in a group of people and they're sharing, with me, and they use the words, my dream is to, or I wish I could, or some form of those words, I am a powerful force to make it happen. I champion it. I get with them and ask, are you really true with this? Do you really want to do this? Yes, I do. And then there's always a but there, So if you're in my circles and you choose to be, and you want something for your life that you're close to having or aren't close to having that you think is, unattainable, or you've been trying for a while using conventional, what I call in the box, cookie cutter approaches that just have not brought it forward for you, then I definitely am an energy and coalescing, catalystic, energy source that champions you and partners with you to make that happen. And so this dream catcher, as I listen to feedback from people about just simply being in my space, their lives move forward in a brilliant, beautiful, hopeful way. And so the dream catcher, I started doing some research on this, and thank you to a dear friend and sister, Stef Lagana. She invited me to check out, the ancient traditions and indigenous cultures, related to dreamcatchers, because they do have purpose, they do have meaning. and I'm big on honoring the original source of symbols and words and information, not many. I don't want to say it that way. There are many of us who honor and acknowledge sources of information there are many of those that don't, and I choose to, surround myself with those who do. So here's a little bit of history of dream catchers. Again, I invite you to, like the butterfly, do your own research so that you can find meaning for your own life in these two symbols. The dream catcher, the original indigenous tribe, was the ojibwe. I don't think I'm pronouncing that correctly. Please, share with me if you do know the way to pronounce it correctly. But they, I believe, were the origination point for the dream catcher, later on, the Lakota tradition took it on and expanded on it, and the Lakota tradition is what really resonates for me. And here's how the oral tradition of the story goes. Long ago, when the word was sound, an old Lakota spiritual leader was on a high mountain and had a vision. In his vision, Iktomi, the great trickster and searcher of wisdom, appeared in the form of spider. Iktomi spoke to him in a sacred language, and as, he spoke Iktomi, the spider picked up the elder's willow hoop, which had feathers, horse hair, beads, and offerings on it, and began to spin a, web. He spoke to the elder about the cycles of life, how we begin our lives as infants, move on through childhood and on into adulthood. Finally, we go to old age, where we must be taken care of as infants completing this cycle. But Inktomi said as, ah, he continued to spin his web. In each lifetime, there are many forces, some good and some bad. If you listen to the good forces, they will steer you in the right direction, but if you listen to the bad forces, they'll steer you in the wrong direction and may even hurt you. So these forces can help or can interfere with the harmony of nature. While the spider spoke, he continued to weave his web. When Iktomi finished speaking, he gave the elder the web and said, the web is a perfect circle with a hole in the center. Use the web to help your people reach their goals, making good use of their ideas, dreams, and visions. If you believe in the great spirit, the web will filter your good ideas, and the bad ones will be trapped and will not pass. The elder passed on his vision onto the people. And now many native indian people have a dream catcher above their bed to sift their dreams and visions. The good will pass through the center hole to the sleeping person. The bad and their dreams are captured in the web, where they perish in the light of the morning sun. It is said that the dream catcher holds the destiny of the future. And so for me, the meaning of the dream catcher is very powerful and empowering. As I reflect on many moments in my life and things that I recall that people have said to me, they have called me troublemaker, they have, called me change maker, they've called me peacemaker, they've called me common ground founder, they've called me healer, they have called me light worker. they have called me pain in the butt. All of these words, some were hard to hear, some I have recently coalesced into what they really mean, thanks to these two symbols, the dream catcher and the butterfly. And, now, today, I really have come to the realization that it's about, and that I am all about creating, expecting, anticipating, and having through clarity. So what do I mean about by that? When you have an idea, when you have a dream, when you have a desire, when you have a want, and when you even have a need, I think that we as humans get stuck in the how. Maybe it's too big, maybe it's too small. Maybe we just don't know where to get started. Maybe we're inundated with information and opinions about how, maybe we've tried. And none of those ways that we've tried have worked for us and for me. I know that when I'm in your space and in the space of the people that I've had the blessing and fortune to come into contact with, I honor who they are and I find ways that honor them to bring about that, idea, that dream, that vision, that want, that desire or need. and I do it in such a simple, practical, step by step way, which brings me to the mantra or the mode that I want to bring to you for this conscious living podcast. And as you move forward moment to moment in your life, I want you to remember that you have choice. You can choose what feels good for you in each and every moment, between each breath, at each breath, choose, make choices that honor you, that feel good to you, while also honoring the environments that you're in, the people that you connect with and your life. The second thing I want you to remember and take forward with you is that focus on one step. We can only take one step at a time with our feet. Yes, we can widen our stance. Yes, we can shorten our stance. I invite you to be calm, be patient, and wait. And with each breath, take one step and you get to choose how wide or how short or small that step is. I just invite you to take one that feels good and serves you in your highest and brings the best out in you. If you enjoyed today's episode and found it helpful, please subscribe to the better Relationships podcast on your favorite platform and share it with your friends and family. Together we can create a community of healthier, happier and harmonious relationships. Take the relationship languages quiz at www. Dot Relationshipquiz me M to better understand your unconscious needs and unlock better communication so you can have a more fulfilling relationship with your partner. If you would like to schedule a coaching session with me, you can do that at www. Dot relationshiphuddle me M. You can also visit my website at www.doctordarhawks.com. That's drdarhawks.com for additional resources, information and to share your thoughts or questions with me. Until next time, keep communicating with curiosity and an open heart. The advice in this podcast is not a substitute for the professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by licensed medical or mental health professionals. Bye.