{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Intro","startTime":90.95,"endTime":93.762,"body":"Welcome to the Better Relationships podcast, where"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Intro","startTime":93.816,"endTime":96.542,"body":"Dr. Dar Hawks, the relationship healer,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Intro","startTime":96.606,"endTime":99.52199999999999,"body":"shares the advice and insights you need to create"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Intro","startTime":99.576,"endTime":102.45,"body":"the healthy, happy, and harmonious relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Intro","startTime":102.6,"endTime":103.81,"body":"you deserve."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":111.03,"endTime":113.954,"body":"Welcome to episode 32 of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":113.99199999999999,"endTime":116.25,"body":"the Better Relationship podcast."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":116.75,"endTime":119.606,"body":"Today, I'm exploring the topic of handling"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":119.718,"endTime":122.538,"body":"relationship anxiety and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":122.624,"endTime":125.322,"body":"managing it. The definition of relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":125.45599999999999,"endTime":127.19,"body":"anxiety, according to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":127.28,"endTime":130.046,"body":"anxiety, is that it's a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":130.06799999999998,"endTime":132.734,"body":"common mental and emotional health problem"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":132.852,"endTime":135.822,"body":"that affects how people feel about and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":135.876,"endTime":138.59,"body":"act in their romantic relationships."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":138.93,"endTime":141.79399999999998,"body":"It often involves persistent worries about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":141.832,"endTime":144.82999999999998,"body":"the strength of your relationship, the possibility"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":144.91,"endTime":147.79399999999998,"body":"of it ending, the fear of not being good"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":147.832,"endTime":150.18,"body":"enough for a partner, or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":151.03,"endTime":153.478,"body":"thinking that you've done something or said something"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":153.564,"endTime":155.846,"body":"wrong. Often, relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":155.94799999999998,"endTime":158.69400000000002,"body":"anxiety can interfere with the ability to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":158.732,"endTime":161.602,"body":"form a secure and trusting bond"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":161.666,"endTime":164.566,"body":"with another person. It can occur even if"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":164.588,"endTime":167.35399999999998,"body":"your relationship is going well, and if not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":167.392,"endTime":170.34199999999998,"body":"addressed or managed early on, it can get worse"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":170.406,"endTime":173.25400000000002,"body":"and more intense over time. I personally"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":173.302,"endTime":175.962,"body":"believe that relationship anxiety starts getting"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":176.01600000000002,"endTime":178.954,"body":"formed as a child. Think about the times you thought"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":178.99200000000002,"endTime":181.982,"body":"you were going to get in trouble with mom or dad, or the times"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":182.036,"endTime":184.59,"body":"you got yelled at or punished for something,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":184.74,"endTime":187.55,"body":"or the times that you got rejected for something"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":187.62,"endTime":190.422,"body":"or told no, and it really hurt your feelings."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":190.586,"endTime":193.442,"body":"Those emotional experiences carry forward into"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":193.49599999999998,"endTime":196.226,"body":"your other relationships. I remember one of my"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":196.248,"endTime":198.72199999999998,"body":"parents blaming me for being jealous or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":198.776,"endTime":201.586,"body":"selfish or lazy, and that created an"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":201.608,"endTime":204.59,"body":"insecurity in me that stayed with me in a traumatic"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":204.67000000000002,"endTime":207.462,"body":"way. Now, I have to admit that that was not their"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":207.51600000000002,"endTime":210.29399999999998,"body":"intention when they were saying those"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":210.332,"endTime":213.22199999999998,"body":"things about me. But later in life, when someone"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":213.276,"endTime":216.262,"body":"else said those things about me or about somebody"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":216.316,"endTime":218.918,"body":"I cared about, I would overreact,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":219.094,"endTime":221.99399999999997,"body":"not in a good way. That's one example from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":222.03199999999998,"endTime":224.77800000000002,"body":"my own life that I had to work through to help"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":224.94400000000002,"endTime":227.70999999999998,"body":"me see and understand the power"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":227.77999999999997,"endTime":230.666,"body":"of relationship anxiety when it's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":230.69799999999998,"endTime":233.498,"body":"not managed or better yet, healed."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":233.594,"endTime":236.474,"body":"Although everyone experiences relationship anxiety"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":236.522,"endTime":239.454,"body":"in their life and relationships at some point in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":239.49200000000002,"endTime":242.226,"body":"time, it's not healthy to experience"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":242.32799999999997,"endTime":245.05399999999997,"body":"it consistently as it puts"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":245.10199999999998,"endTime":247.96999999999997,"body":"immense stress on your mind, body, even"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":248.04000000000002,"endTime":250.86599999999999,"body":"your partner and your relationship. This type"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":250.88799999999998,"endTime":253.60199999999998,"body":"of anxiety starts with uneasy, doubtful"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":253.666,"endTime":256.534,"body":"and uncomfortable feelings originating from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":256.572,"endTime":259.414,"body":"insecurity and low self esteem about your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":259.452,"endTime":262.086,"body":"partner and relationship. Understanding and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":262.108,"endTime":265.042,"body":"addressing it can help you build a more secure, healthier"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":265.106,"endTime":268.086,"body":"and happier relationship, and you may have guessed"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":268.118,"endTime":271.082,"body":"by now that it has everything to do with how"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":271.136,"endTime":273.85,"body":"secure you are in yourself and how"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":273.92,"endTime":276.666,"body":"high your self esteem is, in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":276.688,"endTime":279.454,"body":"addition to how healthy you are as"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":279.492,"endTime":282.174,"body":"an individual and how happy you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":282.212,"endTime":284.906,"body":"are. That then emanates and bleeds"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":284.938,"endTime":287.774,"body":"into how you think and feel about your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":287.812,"endTime":290.182,"body":"relationship. Relationship anxiety"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":290.266,"endTime":293.262,"body":"negatively impacts your ability to communicate,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":293.406,"endTime":296.354,"body":"have trust in and believe in your partner and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":296.392,"endTime":298.674,"body":"relationship and over time, it can"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":298.712,"endTime":301.074,"body":"deteriorate the health of your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":301.112,"endTime":304.066,"body":"relationship. So it's really good to know the signs"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":304.098,"endTime":307.042,"body":"of relationship anxiety so that you can recognize"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":307.106,"endTime":309.942,"body":"it when it shows up. So here are some"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":309.996,"endTime":312.642,"body":"signs of relationship anxiety."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":312.786,"endTime":315.602,"body":"Number one, frogs in your throat."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":315.746,"endTime":318.634,"body":"When you find it hard to share your thoughts and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":318.672,"endTime":321.434,"body":"feelings or keep some aspects of your life a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":321.472,"endTime":324.438,"body":"secret because the thought of opening up puts"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":324.454,"endTime":327.334,"body":"a giant frog in your throat that blocks you from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":327.392,"endTime":330.206,"body":"saying anything. You don't feel comfortable sharing your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":330.228,"endTime":333.006,"body":"feelings, so you withhold. And the consequence of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":333.028,"endTime":335.418,"body":"that is that you feel unheard,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":335.514,"endTime":338.09,"body":"invalidated and potentially"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":338.17,"endTime":340.662,"body":"frustrated, and may get resentful."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":340.826,"endTime":343.794,"body":"Two, overanalyzing. You find"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":343.832,"endTime":346.642,"body":"yourself analyzing every word said"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":346.69599999999997,"endTime":349.294,"body":"and unsaid, wondering if there's a hidden"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":349.342,"endTime":352.334,"body":"meaning, or if you did something wrong or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":352.392,"endTime":354.93399999999997,"body":"what's wrong with your partner or your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":354.972,"endTime":357.414,"body":"relationship. You then text or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":357.452,"endTime":360.262,"body":"call over and over again until"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":360.316,"endTime":363.126,"body":"your partner gives you answers or you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":363.14799999999997,"endTime":366.074,"body":"get the validation you desperately want. But"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":366.192,"endTime":368.938,"body":"when you do get it, it doesn't feel good"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":369.104,"endTime":371.81399999999996,"body":"because the way you approached"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":371.86199999999997,"endTime":374.358,"body":"it was from that overanalysis"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":374.534,"endTime":377.522,"body":"negative energy perspective."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":377.686,"endTime":379.774,"body":"Number three, fear of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":379.812,"endTime":382.66999999999996,"body":"uncertainty. Thinking about the future"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":382.82,"endTime":385.74199999999996,"body":"and not having a plan for the future, or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":385.876,"endTime":388.86199999999997,"body":"having converse with your partner about the future because"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":388.916,"endTime":391.906,"body":"they've not wanted to plan with you or some"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":391.928,"endTime":394.59,"body":"other reason can cause an intense"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":394.66999999999996,"endTime":397.554,"body":"feeling of uneasiness about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":397.67199999999997,"endTime":400.33799999999997,"body":"a point in time, later in the day"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":400.424,"endTime":403.186,"body":"or in the future that makes you feel"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":403.288,"endTime":406.114,"body":"very insecure. You then play what ifs"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":406.162,"endTime":409.014,"body":"in your mind, creating a whirlwind of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":409.05199999999996,"endTime":411.842,"body":"anxious thoughts about things that have not transpired"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":411.906,"endTime":414.55,"body":"yet. You may even call friends and family"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":414.62,"endTime":417.114,"body":"members and start talking about the what ifs with"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":417.152,"endTime":419.626,"body":"them, and they will participate with"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":419.64799999999997,"endTime":421.834,"body":"you in creating more"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":421.87199999999996,"endTime":424.57,"body":"anxiety. Number four, comparing."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":424.99,"endTime":427.914,"body":"You notice your partner speaks to a coworker or a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":427.952,"endTime":430.71799999999996,"body":"friend differently. So then you compare yourself"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":430.804,"endTime":433.582,"body":"to them and wonder why they're treating them"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":433.63599999999997,"endTime":436.57599999999996,"body":"this way and not, you, the same way. You also"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":436.63,"endTime":439.152,"body":"can compare your relationship to that of others,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":439.238,"endTime":442.15999999999997,"body":"wondering why theirs is better or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":442.342,"endTime":445.188,"body":"what it is they have that you don't have, or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":445.226,"endTime":448.176,"body":"that your partner doesn't have. Or you're comparing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":448.24,"endTime":451.044,"body":"your partner to their partner. That makes you question"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":451.114,"endTime":453.496,"body":"your own worth in the relationship and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":453.55,"endTime":456.154,"body":"decreases your self esteem and security."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":456.524,"endTime":459.14,"body":"Number five, physical symptoms."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":459.252,"endTime":462.174,"body":"Relationship anxiety causes stress, erasing. Ah."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":462.756,"endTime":465.736,"body":"Heart, tense muscles, tight"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":465.8,"endTime":468.728,"body":"shoulders, headaches, shallow"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":468.776,"endTime":471.416,"body":"breathing, difficulty sleeping,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":471.56,"endTime":474.188,"body":"lack of motivation, and lack of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":474.226,"endTime":476.536,"body":"inspiration, which are all physical"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":476.59999999999997,"endTime":479.18,"body":"manifestations of the mental and emotional"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":479.212,"endTime":482.128,"body":"stress you're under. Number six, a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":482.166,"endTime":485.024,"body":"need for reassurance. Your need"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":485.094,"endTime":487.794,"body":"for constant reassurance about your relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":488.164,"endTime":490.948,"body":"or craving continuous validation from your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":490.986,"endTime":493.69599999999997,"body":"partner. Just leaves you desperately craving"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":493.76,"endTime":496.52799999999996,"body":"more and it puts pressure on your partner"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":496.57599999999996,"endTime":499.284,"body":"and your relationship. Number seven,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":499.43399999999997,"endTime":502.26,"body":"mood swings. One moment everything"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":502.442,"endTime":505.38,"body":"feels just fine and the next you're"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":505.412,"endTime":508.03999999999996,"body":"overwhelmed with upset. You may nag your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":508.062,"endTime":510.91999999999996,"body":"partner to answer your questions and when they try"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":510.942,"endTime":513.88,"body":"to get some space away from you, you follow them"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":513.902,"endTime":516.7280000000001,"body":"around the house or badger them to try and satisfy"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":516.7760000000001,"endTime":519.72,"body":"your attachment needs, but it just leaves"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":519.7520000000001,"endTime":522.348,"body":"you feeling worse than you did before. Number"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":522.386,"endTime":525.336,"body":"eight, exhaustion. Relationship anxiety"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":525.4,"endTime":528.344,"body":"takes a heavy toll on your body and mind and energy"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":528.434,"endTime":531.328,"body":"levels. It can cause exhaustion and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":531.366,"endTime":533.568,"body":"a lack of motivation and lack of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":533.606,"endTime":536.448,"body":"productivity. You don't feel like doing anything or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":536.486,"endTime":539.168,"body":"going anywhere, making it difficult for your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":539.206,"endTime":542.116,"body":"partner to support you and your well being."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":542.25,"endTime":545.188,"body":"Number nine, jealousy. You start looking for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":545.226,"endTime":547.988,"body":"reasons to be jealous and to prove your jealousy is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":548.0260000000001,"endTime":550.88,"body":"well founded because of your insecurities"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":550.992,"endTime":553.624,"body":"based on your partner's interactions with others."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":553.774,"endTime":556.426,"body":"And you may be watching a, romantic"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":556.49,"endTime":559.278,"body":"television show or reading a book and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":559.316,"endTime":562.158,"body":"that causes you to get jealous. And you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":562.196,"endTime":565.178,"body":"may start rifling through their things or their phone"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":565.236,"endTime":568.098,"body":"and snooping on them to prove that your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":568.136,"endTime":570.798,"body":"jealousy is true. This causes immense"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":570.846,"endTime":573.522,"body":"strain on the relationship, diminishes trust,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":573.688,"endTime":576.498,"body":"and may even push your partner further away from you,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":576.5360000000001,"endTime":579.158,"body":"which is the last thing that you want."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":579.2760000000001,"endTime":582.098,"body":"Recognizing and being aware of these signs"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":582.226,"endTime":584.518,"body":"is the first step for managing relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":584.636,"endTime":587.52,"body":"anxiety if and when you experience it. now let's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":587.552,"endTime":590.388,"body":"explore relationship anxiety through the lens"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":590.436,"endTime":592.968,"body":"and perspective of the five"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":593.086,"endTime":595.816,"body":"sovereign relationship needs. There are"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":595.87,"endTime":598.648,"body":"five core sovereign relationship needs that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":598.686,"endTime":601.464,"body":"everyone has, and when one"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":601.534,"endTime":604.456,"body":"of these needs, when it's your primary or secondary"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":604.5200000000001,"endTime":607.292,"body":"need, is unmet, it can cause"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":607.4580000000001,"endTime":610.0880000000001,"body":"relationship anxiety. If you're"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":610.1360000000001,"endTime":612.664,"body":"wondering about your primary and secondary"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":612.744,"endTime":615.5360000000001,"body":"sovereign relationship need, you can learn"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":615.59,"endTime":618.128,"body":"more and discover yours by taking the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":618.166,"endTime":620.7800000000001,"body":"sovereign relationship needs quiz."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":620.9720000000001,"endTime":622.8340000000001,"body":"You can go to needs"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":623.604,"endTime":626.192,"body":"drdarhawks.com"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":626.3580000000001,"endTime":629.2,"body":"and take the quiz. I'm going to now explore"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":629.2320000000001,"endTime":632.176,"body":"the signs of relationship anxiety in the context"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":632.24,"endTime":635.188,"body":"of the five sovereign relationship needs. With"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":635.226,"endTime":638.0680000000001,"body":"an unmet love and belonging need, you could"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":638.106,"endTime":640.888,"body":"be overly reliant on your partner for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":640.926,"endTime":643.416,"body":"emotional validation, being heard and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":643.47,"endTime":646.292,"body":"understood, a constant need for affection,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":646.388,"endTime":649.128,"body":"and a deep need and sense of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":649.166,"endTime":651.32,"body":"belonging. You may also feel"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":651.422,"endTime":654.2800000000001,"body":"rejection, have more hurt feelings"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":654.392,"endTime":657.2280000000001,"body":"over the smallest of things, and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":657.346,"endTime":660.22,"body":"potentially feel abandoned by your partner in your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":660.2420000000001,"endTime":662.908,"body":"day to day interactions with an"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":662.946,"endTime":665.856,"body":"unmet fun need, you fear not being fun"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":665.9100000000001,"endTime":668.7,"body":"enough or worry your partner doesn't enjoy spending"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":668.7320000000001,"endTime":671.5360000000001,"body":"time with you, but enjoys being at work"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":671.59,"endTime":674.288,"body":"or with friends more than you with an"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":674.326,"endTime":677.296,"body":"unmet freedom need. You don't invest time"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":677.35,"endTime":680.24,"body":"on your own hobies or interests, and you don't"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":680.272,"endTime":683.14,"body":"feel comfortable spending time apart. You instead"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":683.2420000000001,"endTime":686.1,"body":"want to know what your partner is doing, saying and where they"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":686.1220000000001,"endTime":688.82,"body":"are going to feel secure about yourself and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":688.842,"endTime":691.6080000000001,"body":"your relationship. Your whole focus"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":691.806,"endTime":694.6,"body":"is on your partner and their day to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":694.6220000000001,"endTime":697.4960000000001,"body":"day comings and goings. With"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":697.5500000000001,"endTime":700.44,"body":"power as an unmet need. You're concerned that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":700.462,"endTime":703.236,"body":"being too open or vulnerable will give your partner"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":703.3000000000001,"endTime":706.14,"body":"too much power over you and even use it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":706.162,"endTime":708.956,"body":"against you. You may also fear any"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":709.01,"endTime":711.9480000000001,"body":"type of conflict, so you do what you can to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":711.986,"endTime":714.784,"body":"maintain harmony and peace no matter"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":714.854,"endTime":717.628,"body":"what it takes, potentially sacrificing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":717.676,"endTime":720.4000000000001,"body":"yourself and your own needs for that of your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":720.422,"endTime":723.2320000000001,"body":"partners. The safety and survival need"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":723.3180000000001,"endTime":726.0440000000001,"body":"when unmet results in overwhelming"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":726.124,"endTime":729.028,"body":"concern and worry about your future when"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":729.066,"endTime":731.5200000000001,"body":"it comes to things like financial stability,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":731.712,"endTime":734.048,"body":"living arrangements, emotional"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":734.096,"endTime":737.0440000000001,"body":"support, promises made to each other,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":737.1940000000001,"endTime":740.0200000000001,"body":"and potentially a heightened need to control your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":740.042,"endTime":742.856,"body":"partner and relationship to ensure your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":742.9100000000001,"endTime":745.812,"body":"safety to the point of being overprotective"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":745.908,"endTime":748.74,"body":"and overbearing. Those are just some examples"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":748.772,"endTime":751.664,"body":"of how the five core sovereign"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":751.764,"endTime":754.38,"body":"relationship needs can manifest in the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":754.402,"endTime":756.956,"body":"context of relationship anxiety. So"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":757.01,"endTime":759.868,"body":"understanding those signs from the lens of the five"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":759.9060000000001,"endTime":762.7,"body":"sovereign relationship needs does provide you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":762.7220000000001,"endTime":765.0680000000001,"body":"with insights into how relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":765.186,"endTime":767.904,"body":"anxiety can be better managed by you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":768.0540000000001,"endTime":770.976,"body":"when it shows up here are some ways to get"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":771.0300000000001,"endTime":773.808,"body":"a handle on relationship anxiety when it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":773.846,"endTime":776.84,"body":"shows up. Reflect on your past experiences"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":776.892,"endTime":779.2800000000001,"body":"that have contributed to your insecure"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":779.392,"endTime":781.888,"body":"feelings. Think about any childhood"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":781.936,"endTime":784.868,"body":"traumas or negative relationships from your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":784.9060000000001,"endTime":787.844,"body":"past that are impacting you and your current relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":787.994,"endTime":790.792,"body":"through memories. Seek professional support"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":790.878,"endTime":793.8480000000001,"body":"in the form of therapy or relationship coaching to help"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":793.8860000000001,"endTime":796.648,"body":"you heal and move forward from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":796.686,"endTime":799.4960000000001,"body":"these past events so that they do not keep"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":799.5500000000001,"endTime":802.5200000000001,"body":"recurring for you. Recognize patterns in your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":802.542,"endTime":805.4480000000001,"body":"thoughts and behaviors that are, a carryover from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":805.486,"endTime":808.36,"body":"past experiences. Invest a little bit of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":808.3820000000001,"endTime":811.0,"body":"time to better understand why you feel, the way you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":811.022,"endTime":813.88,"body":"do, where it comes from, and what you can"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":813.902,"endTime":816.808,"body":"do to shift it. Check in honestly"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":816.856,"endTime":819.836,"body":"and objectively to assess whether or not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":819.97,"endTime":822.748,"body":"your current experience and relationship are the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":822.7860000000001,"endTime":825.74,"body":"same as those past experiences because at the end"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":825.7620000000001,"endTime":828.672,"body":"of the day, this is a different person and there may"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":828.678,"endTime":831.388,"body":"be things that remind you of the past but aren't"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":831.436,"endTime":834.1080000000001,"body":"necessarily true. As a negative"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":834.1560000000001,"endTime":836.594,"body":"experience in the current relationship,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":837.0440000000001,"endTime":839.76,"body":"determine whether they are real now or something that's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":839.792,"endTime":842.7080000000001,"body":"carried over in trapped memory. Evaluate how"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":842.7460000000001,"endTime":845.5360000000001,"body":"external factors like social media, books,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":845.6,"endTime":848.4960000000001,"body":"television, society's pressures,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":848.64,"endTime":851.5400000000001,"body":"religion, or past rejections could be"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":851.562,"endTime":854.408,"body":"fueling your feelings of insecurity. Make"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":854.446,"endTime":857.3040000000001,"body":"an active, conscious choice to focus"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":857.374,"endTime":860.2800000000001,"body":"on what is working in your life and your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":860.302,"endTime":863.1120000000001,"body":"relationship instead of what's not. Because"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":863.1980000000001,"endTime":866.14,"body":"when you have the mindset focused on"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":866.2420000000001,"endTime":868.8760000000001,"body":"what's working, you're going to make better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":868.9300000000001,"endTime":871.7080000000001,"body":"decisions and better choices and be"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":871.7460000000001,"endTime":874.268,"body":"able to implement behaviors and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":874.306,"endTime":876.86,"body":"actions from a more positive place"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":877.042,"endTime":879.916,"body":"than you would with a focus and perspective"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":879.98,"endTime":882.72,"body":"of what's broken. You can also better manage"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":882.822,"endTime":885.628,"body":"relationship anxiety from the perspective of what's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":885.676,"endTime":888.576,"body":"working than you can from the perspective of what's not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":888.63,"endTime":891.488,"body":"working. It's easier to find solutions"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":891.5360000000001,"endTime":894.4680000000001,"body":"that are beneficial for you to increase your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":894.5060000000001,"endTime":897.1080000000001,"body":"self esteem and your security in your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":897.1460000000001,"endTime":900.1320000000001,"body":"relationship from the perspective of what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":900.2180000000001,"endTime":902.774,"body":"is working. Take time for yourself."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":903.144,"endTime":906.008,"body":"Carve out time in your day just for you."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":906.206,"endTime":909.128,"body":"Learn how to be comfortable with being quiet with your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":909.166,"endTime":911.976,"body":"own thoughts and feelings. It can feel"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":912.0300000000001,"endTime":914.716,"body":"unbearable for a few moments, but if you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":914.7700000000001,"endTime":917.4680000000001,"body":"just love yourself enough to be"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":917.5060000000001,"endTime":920.428,"body":"patient and sit with them and let them"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":920.466,"endTime":923.26,"body":"pass and wash through you,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":923.442,"endTime":926.1560000000001,"body":"you will get some wisdom from those"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":926.21,"endTime":929.0880000000001,"body":"feelings as they pass through you. You can"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":929.1260000000001,"endTime":931.616,"body":"also read a book, take a bath, do something"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":931.6700000000001,"endTime":934.2560000000001,"body":"creative, go for a walk, spend some time"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":934.3100000000001,"endTime":937.296,"body":"outside because that's also very healing. And"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":937.35,"endTime":940.332,"body":"prioritize activities that bring you joy and help you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":940.3580000000001,"endTime":943.3480000000001,"body":"relax and stay away from your cell phone"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":943.3860000000001,"endTime":946.308,"body":"and technology for a bit. It is said that half"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":946.346,"endTime":949.188,"body":"an hour to 45 minutes outside in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":949.226,"endTime":951.8140000000001,"body":"nature will have benefits"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":952.1840000000001,"endTime":954.9960000000001,"body":"for up to a month. This will give your brain"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":955.0600000000001,"endTime":957.7040000000001,"body":"time to focus on something else for a while,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":957.854,"endTime":960.7080000000001,"body":"especially if you've been fixating on something that just doesn't"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":960.7560000000001,"endTime":963.748,"body":"feel good. That'll create a healthy distraction"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":963.796,"endTime":966.428,"body":"for you and give you the ability to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":966.466,"endTime":969.356,"body":"reorient your focus on what's working"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":969.4100000000001,"endTime":971.932,"body":"in your life and relationship. And"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":972.0980000000001,"endTime":974.6360000000001,"body":"you'll find out after those"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":974.69,"endTime":977.628,"body":"emotions and the anxiety passes. Over time,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":977.666,"endTime":980.2560000000001,"body":"you'll get better at it. It'll only take a few"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":980.3100000000001,"endTime":983.056,"body":"minutes and you will have some clarity and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":983.11,"endTime":986.076,"body":"understanding through the wisdom of your emotions."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":986.22,"endTime":989.168,"body":"After it passes, pay attention to and make"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":989.206,"endTime":991.6120000000001,"body":"notes about how you feel during each phase of the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":991.638,"endTime":994.6120000000001,"body":"moon for approximately three months."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":994.778,"endTime":997.7,"body":"If you can do it for a year, that's even better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":997.802,"endTime":1000.628,"body":"because it will give you a map to your own mental and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1000.666,"endTime":1003.528,"body":"emotional health. This website can help you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1003.566,"endTime":1006.452,"body":"daily as well. To track by the moon"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1006.548,"endTime":1007.86,"body":"mooncalender"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1008.052,"endTime":1011.144,"body":"astroseek.com"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1011.2940000000001,"endTime":1014.0400000000001,"body":"I also have some monthly worksheets you can use to make"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1014.062,"endTime":1016.988,"body":"this easy for you, and I'm happy to provide them for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1017.0260000000001,"endTime":1019.532,"body":"you. Send me an email at"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1019.618,"endTime":1023.196,"body":"drdar@drdarhawks.com"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1023.33,"endTime":1026.248,"body":"put in the subject I want the monthly moon"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1026.296,"endTime":1029.052,"body":"worksheets and I'll send them to you."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1029.138,"endTime":1031.6,"body":"It may sound nuts to you, but there is a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1031.622,"endTime":1034.556,"body":"connection between your moods and anxiety"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1034.62,"endTime":1037.5,"body":"to the moon cycles. Once you know your patterns"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1037.532,"endTime":1040.148,"body":"with the moon cycles, you will know when your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1040.186,"endTime":1043.088,"body":"relationship anxiety gets worse"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1043.216,"endTime":1045.856,"body":"or gets better or is nonexistent,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1046.0,"endTime":1048.836,"body":"and that'll better prepare you for self care because"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1048.8899999999999,"endTime":1051.76,"body":"then you'll know which moon cycles affect you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1051.802,"endTime":1054.6,"body":"more so than others. And if you track for a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1054.622,"endTime":1057.176,"body":"year, you will definitely have more"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1057.23,"endTime":1059.704,"body":"information around those times"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1059.854,"endTime":1062.76,"body":"and moon cycles so that in the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1062.782,"endTime":1065.356,"body":"next year, when that moon cycle shows"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1065.41,"endTime":1068.168,"body":"up, you will know in advance"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1068.296,"endTime":1070.412,"body":"and be able to plan"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1070.578,"endTime":1072.652,"body":"accordingly. Self care"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1072.818,"endTime":1075.356,"body":"and silence and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1075.49,"endTime":1078.416,"body":"manage your relationship anxiety at that time."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1078.55,"endTime":1081.536,"body":"Challenging negative thought patterns can also be a great"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1081.59,"endTime":1083.648,"body":"way to manage and handle relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1083.766,"endTime":1086.54,"body":"anxiety. The first step is to identify"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1086.652,"endTime":1089.648,"body":"make notes about your negative thoughts. Write down the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1089.686,"endTime":1092.308,"body":"thought and what may have caused it or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1092.346,"endTime":1094.964,"body":"triggered it. Maybe it's something your partner said"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1095.0339999999999,"endTime":1097.716,"body":"or did, or something that reminded you of a past"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1097.77,"endTime":1100.516,"body":"experience or relationship. Then"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1100.65,"endTime":1103.4279999999999,"body":"ask yourself if it's true today. Is it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1103.466,"endTime":1106.26,"body":"true? And if you say yes, then jot"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1106.292,"endTime":1109.128,"body":"down some notes as to why you feel that it is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1109.166,"endTime":1111.96,"body":"true. Start by recognizing the patterns of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1111.982,"endTime":1114.572,"body":"negative thinking that contributes to your relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1114.658,"endTime":1117.6399999999999,"body":"anxiety. Write them down, say them out loud"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1117.672,"endTime":1120.508,"body":"to acknowledge their presence, and then"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1120.706,"endTime":1123.596,"body":"you have dominion over that thought."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1123.73,"endTime":1126.668,"body":"Going forward, you can choose to have it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1126.706,"endTime":1129.58,"body":"or not, and I'm going to give you some tools next on"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1129.6019999999999,"endTime":1132.0339999999999,"body":"how to do that. The second step is to question"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1132.484,"endTime":1135.408,"body":"ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1135.446,"endTime":1137.936,"body":"assumptions or something that happened in a past"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1137.99,"endTime":1140.6879999999999,"body":"relationship or a story that you've created."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1140.816,"endTime":1143.6039999999998,"body":"Challenge the thought with evidence from your current"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1143.674,"endTime":1146.096,"body":"experiences that contradict those negative"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1146.1599999999999,"endTime":1149.1519999999998,"body":"beliefs. Quite often when we have a negative belief,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1149.2479999999998,"endTime":1151.9759999999999,"body":"there are up to two or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1152.03,"endTime":1154.712,"body":"more contradictions against"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1154.878,"endTime":1157.4479999999999,"body":"that negative thought. The third step is to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1157.4859999999999,"endTime":1160.36,"body":"replace once you've identified and questioned your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1160.3819999999998,"endTime":1163.272,"body":"negative thoughts, consciously replace them with a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1163.278,"endTime":1166.26,"body":"positive one. It's even better to replace"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1166.292,"endTime":1169.1799999999998,"body":"them with a positive thing that happened currently in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1169.202,"endTime":1171.788,"body":"your life. Remind yourself of your worth and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1171.826,"endTime":1174.7479999999998,"body":"value whether you are in a relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1174.866,"endTime":1177.788,"body":"or not. Because your worth and your value is yours."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1177.836,"endTime":1180.7359999999999,"body":"It's not determined by other people or by your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1180.79,"endTime":1183.648,"body":"relationship. It is a contribution to your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1183.686,"endTime":1186.668,"body":"relationship. Practice is the fourth"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1186.716,"endTime":1189.28,"body":"step. Remember, it's normal to have doubts and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1189.302,"endTime":1192.08,"body":"insecurities periodically, but also remind"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1192.1119999999999,"endTime":1194.8799999999999,"body":"yourself that you deserve love and happiness. Gift"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1194.912,"endTime":1197.5359999999998,"body":"yourself with the compassion you give to your partner."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1197.6799999999998,"endTime":1200.2759999999998,"body":"By challenging and reframing negative thought"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1200.33,"endTime":1202.9679999999998,"body":"patterns, you truly can shift your relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1203.086,"endTime":1205.96,"body":"mindset towards a more positive outlook on your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1205.982,"endTime":1208.676,"body":"relationship, reduce anxiety, and increase"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1208.74,"endTime":1211.384,"body":"feelings of security and trust in yourself"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1211.5339999999999,"endTime":1214.4399999999998,"body":"and with your partner. I do invite you to seek"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1214.472,"endTime":1216.828,"body":"professional help and support. If relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1216.946,"endTime":1219.8999999999999,"body":"anxiety is overwhelming and impacting your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1219.922,"endTime":1222.62,"body":"daily life, productivity and your relationship,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1222.802,"endTime":1225.404,"body":"please do get some professional support."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1225.5539999999999,"endTime":1228.48,"body":"Professionals who specialize in relationships can"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1228.502,"endTime":1231.088,"body":"help you understand and heal. More"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1231.126,"endTime":1233.856,"body":"importantly, be healed from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1233.9099999999999,"endTime":1236.816,"body":"relationship anxiety much quicker and provide"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1236.87,"endTime":1239.548,"body":"you with insights and tools on how to handle it. Going"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1239.606,"endTime":1242.336,"body":"forward, you could opt for therapy."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1242.48,"endTime":1245.1399999999999,"body":"Cognitive behavioral therapy, also known as"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1245.162,"endTime":1247.9879999999998,"body":"CBT, can help you challenge negative thought"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1248.0259999999998,"endTime":1250.868,"body":"patterns and develop healthier ways of thinking about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1250.906,"endTime":1253.8319999999999,"body":"yourself and your relationship. You could also consider"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1253.918,"endTime":1256.6119999999999,"body":"couples coaching and relationship coaching"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1256.7079999999999,"endTime":1259.3039999999999,"body":"if your anxiety is affecting you and your relationship."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1259.454,"endTime":1262.408,"body":"Couples coaching can provide a safe space to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1262.446,"endTime":1265.3719999999998,"body":"communicate openly with your partner and work through issues"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1265.4579999999999,"endTime":1267.58,"body":"together. You will learn"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1267.762,"endTime":1270.684,"body":"communication techniques and skills as well as"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1270.754,"endTime":1273.7359999999999,"body":"listening and empathy skills with your partner."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1273.8799999999999,"endTime":1276.556,"body":"You can also work through them yourself with your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1276.61,"endTime":1279.168,"body":"relationship coach so that you're no longer"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1279.2859999999998,"endTime":1281.788,"body":"completely dependent on your partner for emotional"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1281.836,"endTime":1284.3999999999999,"body":"support and working through the issues and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1284.422,"endTime":1286.9879999999998,"body":"increasing your self esteem and securities"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1287.116,"endTime":1289.7759999999998,"body":"1st may help you before you go into"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1289.83,"endTime":1292.7359999999999,"body":"couples coaching, you will learn healthy communication"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1292.8,"endTime":1295.6799999999998,"body":"techniques so that you are equipped with the skills"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1295.712,"endTime":1298.24,"body":"to communicate with your partner when you're feeling"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1298.272,"endTime":1301.06,"body":"anxious instead of relying on them to make you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1301.0819999999999,"endTime":1303.9279999999999,"body":"feel better. The third one is medication. There"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1303.966,"endTime":1306.3439999999998,"body":"are more extreme cases where"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1306.494,"endTime":1309.156,"body":"medication prescribed by a psychiatrist"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1309.3,"endTime":1312.088,"body":"can help you manage your anxiety systems while you work"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1312.126,"endTime":1314.636,"body":"on underlying issues in therapy. Taking"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1314.6899999999998,"endTime":1317.4199999999998,"body":"medication without addressing the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1317.442,"endTime":1320.408,"body":"underlying issues may put you on a path"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1320.456,"endTime":1323.1119999999999,"body":"that doesn't provide the healing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1323.2079999999999,"endTime":1326.172,"body":"and may not be sustainable for your future."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1326.338,"endTime":1328.556,"body":"However, please consult with your medical"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1328.62,"endTime":1331.568,"body":"professional to determine what is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1331.606,"endTime":1334.3999999999999,"body":"best for you. Getting support is not a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1334.422,"endTime":1337.148,"body":"sign of weakness. It is a proactive"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1337.196,"endTime":1339.828,"body":"step towards improving your mental health and well"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1339.866,"endTime":1342.74,"body":"being. Do not hesitate or wait to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1342.762,"endTime":1345.6039999999998,"body":"reach out for help if you need or want"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1345.674,"endTime":1348.644,"body":"it. Also, when anxiety shows up,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1348.7939999999999,"endTime":1351.616,"body":"it causes us to go inside ourselves"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1351.6799999999998,"endTime":1354.504,"body":"and withdraw. It can also make us feel"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1354.5739999999998,"endTime":1357.5439999999999,"body":"guilty or shame or fear and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1357.614,"endTime":1360.596,"body":"going into the cave when we're feeling anxiety."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1360.74,"endTime":1363.3799999999999,"body":"If it's going on too long and you're"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1363.412,"endTime":1366.3319999999999,"body":"withdrawing for more than a couple of days,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1366.4979999999998,"endTime":1369.128,"body":"that is definitely a sign to seek"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1369.176,"endTime":1372.168,"body":"help. If you're looking for a personalized approach"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1372.216,"endTime":1375.216,"body":"to understanding and, managing relationship anxiety,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1375.36,"endTime":1378.184,"body":"consider starting with the sovereign relationship needs"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1378.254,"endTime":1380.7279999999998,"body":"quiz. This quiz is designed to help you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1380.7659999999998,"endTime":1383.588,"body":"identify your primary, secondary and shadow"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1383.636,"endTime":1386.4879999999998,"body":"relationship needs. Knowing your primary and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1386.5259999999998,"endTime":1389.4959999999999,"body":"secondary need can help you assess your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1389.55,"endTime":1392.28,"body":"relationship anxiety through the steps that I've"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1392.312,"endTime":1395.148,"body":"previously provided. From the lens of how"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1395.186,"endTime":1397.916,"body":"this need is or is not being met,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1398.05,"endTime":1400.956,"body":"and then being able to talk with your partner about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1401.01,"endTime":1403.596,"body":"it from a more healthy framework,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1403.74,"endTime":1406.608,"body":"knowing your shadow relationship need will help"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1406.646,"endTime":1409.2479999999998,"body":"you understand what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1409.2859999999998,"endTime":1412.048,"body":"situations, behaviors and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1412.166,"endTime":1415.068,"body":"things that are communicated are not healthy"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1415.116,"endTime":1417.9199999999998,"body":"for you. Your shadow relationship need and knowing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1417.952,"endTime":1420.836,"body":"it will provide you insights around what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1420.8899999999999,"endTime":1423.7279999999998,"body":"does not bring out the best in you and what may trigger"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1423.7759999999998,"endTime":1426.58,"body":"anxiety for you. Knowing your sovereign relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1426.682,"endTime":1429.3999999999999,"body":"needs can be a game changer. When it comes to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1429.422,"endTime":1432.36,"body":"managing relationship anxiety because you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1432.3819999999998,"endTime":1435.288,"body":"will know exactly what you need, how to get that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1435.326,"endTime":1437.806,"body":"need met, and, how to get your partner to support"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1437.876,"endTime":1440.4019999999998,"body":"you. And if you want to get relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1440.504,"endTime":1442.9299999999998,"body":"coaching now to build your relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1443.048,"endTime":1445.9379999999999,"body":"mindset skills and move forward from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1445.992,"endTime":1448.6419999999998,"body":"relationship anxiety, go ahead and book a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1448.664,"endTime":1451.442,"body":"relationship coaching huddle with me at"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1451.5439999999999,"endTime":1454.542,"body":"relationshiphuddle me. And"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1454.5839999999998,"endTime":1457.4299999999998,"body":"if you've decided you do want to take the quiz, you can do that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1457.4679999999998,"endTime":1458.3419999999999,"body":"at needs"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1458.524,"endTime":1461.462,"body":"drdarhawks.com. I hope"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1461.484,"endTime":1464.3619999999999,"body":"this has been helpful to you. Drop me a line. Drop me a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1464.384,"endTime":1467.258,"body":"note please comment on your favorite platform"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr Dar","startTime":1467.3919999999998,"endTime":1469.916,"body":"and I look forward to seeing you next time."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1472.366,"endTime":1475.002,"body":"If you enjoyed today's episode and found it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1475.024,"endTime":1477.358,"body":"helpful, please subscribe to the better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1477.412,"endTime":1480.0939999999998,"body":"Relationships podcast on your favorite platform"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1480.26,"endTime":1482.416,"body":"and share it with your friends and family."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1483.106,"endTime":1485.55,"body":"Together, we can create a community of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1485.588,"endTime":1488.106,"body":"healthier, happier and harmonious"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1488.186,"endTime":1490.898,"body":"relationships. To better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1490.952,"endTime":1493.9379999999999,"body":"understand your unconscious needs and unlock better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1493.992,"endTime":1496.6419999999998,"body":"communication, take the sovereign relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1496.744,"endTime":1499.3899999999999,"body":"needs test at relationshiptest"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1499.518,"endTime":1502.03,"body":"me so you can have a more fulfilling"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1502.078,"endTime":1504.962,"body":"relationship with your partner. For"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1504.984,"endTime":1507.982,"body":"additional resources, information, and to share your thoughts"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1508.014,"endTime":1509.4379999999999,"body":"or questions, visit"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1509.502,"endTime":1512.158,"body":"drdarhawks.com. That's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1512.222,"endTime":1513.946,"body":"Drdar"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1514.056,"endTime":1517.002,"body":"hawks.com. And if"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1517.024,"endTime":1519.5459999999998,"body":"you'd like to schedule a coaching session with Dr."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1519.616,"endTime":1522.47,"body":"Dar, visit relationshiphuddle"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1522.598,"endTime":1525.4979999999998,"body":"me. Until next time, keep"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1525.552,"endTime":1528.2179999999998,"body":"communicating with curiosity and an open"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1528.272,"endTime":1531.002,"body":"heart. The advice in this podcast is not a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1531.024,"endTime":1533.83,"body":"substitute for the professional medical advice, diagnosis,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1533.878,"endTime":1536.4579999999999,"body":"or treatment provided by licensed medical or mental health"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Credits","startTime":1536.512,"endTime":1536.886,"body":"professionals."}]}