{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":88.89999999999999,"endTime":91.322,"body":"Welcome to episode 36 of the Better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":91.378,"endTime":94.234,"body":"Relationship podcast. I'm Doctor Dar Hawks,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":94.274,"endTime":96.954,"body":"the relationship healer, and today's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":96.994,"endTime":99.362,"body":"topic is all about what makes a relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":99.41799999999999,"endTime":102.09,"body":"successful. I'll also cover five"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":102.162,"endTime":104.954,"body":"overarching relationship skills that make a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":104.994,"endTime":107.69,"body":"relationship successful. By now, you know that your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":107.722,"endTime":110.154,"body":"romantic relationship can be the source of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":110.234,"endTime":112.53399999999999,"body":"incredible joy and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":112.834,"endTime":115.422,"body":"sorrow. As a relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":115.478,"endTime":118.19,"body":"expert, I've spent years looking at the threads that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":118.222,"endTime":120.674,"body":"actually create a successful partnership."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":120.97399999999999,"endTime":123.862,"body":"So today I'm sharing insights into those essential"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":123.958,"endTime":126.918,"body":"elements that make a relationship not just"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":126.96600000000001,"endTime":129.774,"body":"survive, but thrive. The first"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":129.85399999999998,"endTime":131.834,"body":"one is being unselfish."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":132.454,"endTime":135.446,"body":"When you love unselfishly, you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":135.51,"endTime":137.814,"body":"put the needs and happiness of your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":137.85399999999998,"endTime":140.742,"body":"partner as an equal metric or at par"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":140.798,"endTime":143.432,"body":"with your own. You don't prioritize"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":143.488,"endTime":146.48,"body":"yours over theirs or theirs over yours. You"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":146.512,"endTime":148.992,"body":"look at them, um, at par or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":149.088,"endTime":151.84,"body":"evenly. You celebrate their successes"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":151.912,"endTime":154.54399999999998,"body":"as if they're your own and support your partner's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":154.584,"endTime":157.39999999999998,"body":"problems, concerns and burdens"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":157.47199999999998,"endTime":159.888,"body":"as though you're experiencing them too. That"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":159.93599999999998,"endTime":162.93599999999998,"body":"shows deep empathy and understanding for what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":162.95999999999998,"endTime":165.952,"body":"your partner's going through without a need to fix"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":166.00799999999998,"endTime":168.89600000000002,"body":"it or diving in to help them move forward to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":168.92000000000002,"endTime":171.25799999999998,"body":"a more positive mindset."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":171.416,"endTime":173.838,"body":"It's just about listening and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":173.886,"endTime":176.82999999999998,"body":"supporting them. Putting yourself first does not mean"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":176.862,"endTime":179.286,"body":"you're being selfish. It does mean you're being"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":179.35,"endTime":182.35,"body":"unselfish. Because when you're at your best, you bring"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":182.382,"endTime":185.25400000000002,"body":"your best. Because when you're at your best, you bring your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":185.29399999999998,"endTime":188.142,"body":"best self to your relationship by being a better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":188.19799999999998,"endTime":191.118,"body":"partner in any given moment. The second"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":191.20600000000002,"endTime":193.994,"body":"one is connecting communication."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":194.534,"endTime":197.398,"body":"Communication is the key to success in any"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":197.446,"endTime":200.20600000000002,"body":"relationship, to be honest. But not just"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":200.26999999999998,"endTime":202.612,"body":"any communication, it must be"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":202.668,"endTime":205.06799999999998,"body":"authentic, clear, concise,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":205.196,"endTime":208.036,"body":"factual, neutral and transparent."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":208.22,"endTime":210.94799999999998,"body":"Romantic partners can get their"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":210.99599999999998,"endTime":213.756,"body":"emotions all in a whirl, in a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":213.78,"endTime":216.7,"body":"swirl, and then try to communicate from that point"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":216.73199999999997,"endTime":219.48399999999998,"body":"of view. And it usually doesn't go"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":219.524,"endTime":222.38,"body":"well. The results that partners want to get"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":222.53199999999998,"endTime":224.10399999999998,"body":"out of a conversation"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":225.04399999999998,"endTime":227.676,"body":"usually don't happen when there's an emotional"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":227.74,"endTime":230.39600000000002,"body":"upset or charge at play. So"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":230.5,"endTime":232.954,"body":"getting your thoughts clear, being fully"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":232.99399999999997,"endTime":235.86599999999999,"body":"transparent and authentic, writing out what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":235.89,"endTime":238.77800000000002,"body":"you want to say, and cutting out things"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":238.82600000000002,"endTime":241.75400000000002,"body":"that are not really going to be helpful to you or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":241.79399999999998,"endTime":244.762,"body":"produce the results you're looking for, as well"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":244.81799999999998,"endTime":247.73000000000002,"body":"as making your communication"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":247.84199999999998,"endTime":250.80200000000002,"body":"concise. Short, not long,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":250.89800000000002,"endTime":253.786,"body":"where it takes minutes, 2030"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":253.85000000000002,"endTime":256.722,"body":"minutes to communicate and for it to focus on"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":256.738,"endTime":259.674,"body":"the facts, not your story or your experience"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":259.794,"endTime":262.634,"body":"of it. Not saying that that's not important,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":262.754,"endTime":265.602,"body":"it's just that when you're communicating for transformation in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":265.618,"endTime":267.99399999999997,"body":"your relationship, it's really"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":268.074,"endTime":270.834,"body":"important to be very clear and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":270.874,"endTime":273.134,"body":"concise and factual,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":273.514,"endTime":275.818,"body":"and your story or experience of it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":275.866,"endTime":278.562,"body":"adds, frankly, things that may"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":278.738,"endTime":281.594,"body":"not be factual partners who can openly"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":281.634,"endTime":284.586,"body":"share their thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities without getting"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":284.65,"endTime":287.53,"body":"into an emotional upset, raising their"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":287.562,"endTime":290.53,"body":"voice or changing their tone, or getting into a fear"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":290.562,"endTime":293.184,"body":"of judgment or being defensive"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":293.724,"endTime":296.028,"body":"build a foundation of trust that,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":296.156,"endTime":298.844,"body":"frankly, is unshakable. Trust and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":298.884,"endTime":301.828,"body":"recognition of, uh, triggers and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":301.916,"endTime":304.424,"body":"the need to heal the triggers"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":305.004,"endTime":307.956,"body":"trust is built over time, and it's the glue that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":307.98,"endTime":310.612,"body":"holds a relationship together. It's about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":310.668,"endTime":313.02,"body":"recognizing and understanding each other's past"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":313.092,"endTime":315.74399999999997,"body":"triggers, strengths, and weaknesses."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":316.084,"endTime":318.9,"body":"By being mindful of each other's sensitive"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":318.972,"endTime":321.308,"body":"areas, you can get clear about your own"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":321.356,"endTime":324.21999999999997,"body":"triggers. Own them, and not lash out at your partner"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":324.252,"endTime":327.24399999999997,"body":"when they get pushed. Because you understand that the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":327.284,"endTime":329.94,"body":"trigger that got you upset is not your partner's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":329.972,"endTime":332.796,"body":"accountability or fault, you'll better be able"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":332.82,"endTime":335.468,"body":"to manage your interactions with care and compassion."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":335.556,"endTime":338.024,"body":"Avoiding unnecessary conflicts"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":338.404,"endTime":340.988,"body":"I find that things that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":341.036,"endTime":343.788,"body":"upset us or created pain for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":343.836,"endTime":346.144,"body":"us in past relationships"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":346.524,"endTime":349.44399999999996,"body":"that get triggered or that remind"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":349.524,"endTime":352.364,"body":"you that you get reminded of because of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":352.404,"endTime":355.228,"body":"something your partner did or said, really does"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":355.276,"endTime":357.876,"body":"create a lot of conflict in relationships. So"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":357.94,"endTime":360.85999999999996,"body":"spending some time with a therapist or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":360.892,"endTime":363.664,"body":"your coach, walking through the triggers and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":364.084,"endTime":366.716,"body":"transforming them into strengths"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":366.78,"endTime":369.524,"body":"is of tremendous benefit, not just to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":369.56399999999996,"endTime":372.49199999999996,"body":"you, but also to your partner. And you will"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":372.548,"endTime":375.21999999999997,"body":"release the pain that's stored in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":375.252,"endTime":378.212,"body":"cellular memory so that when the memories show up again, you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":378.228,"endTime":380.97999999999996,"body":"can simply acknowledge them and say, thank"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":381.012,"endTime":383.812,"body":"you. I no longer need this memory to protect"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":383.868,"endTime":386.804,"body":"me anymore. That's just an example of how"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":386.924,"endTime":389.844,"body":"it can happen going forward for you. The next"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":389.88399999999996,"endTime":392.46,"body":"one is fair negotiation of resources"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":392.572,"endTime":394.38399999999996,"body":"and responsibilities."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":394.804,"endTime":397.74,"body":"Relationships truly do consist of a series of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":397.772,"endTime":400.49199999999996,"body":"negotiations and compromises that started"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":400.58799999999997,"endTime":403.428,"body":"back when you were dating your partner. Whether it's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":403.476,"endTime":406.476,"body":"time, attention, or finances, how you negotiate, the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":406.5,"endTime":409.06,"body":"distribution of your resources and time,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":409.252,"endTime":411.97999999999996,"body":"speaks volumes about the health of your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":412.092,"endTime":414.38,"body":"personal relationship to time,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":414.572,"endTime":416.844,"body":"negotiation skills, and the health of your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":416.88399999999996,"endTime":419.78,"body":"relationship. Fairness and generosity,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":419.892,"endTime":422.37199999999996,"body":"which goes back to really being"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":422.428,"endTime":425.188,"body":"factual in these negotiations, are"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":425.236,"endTime":427.74,"body":"indicative of a partnership that values co"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":427.772,"endTime":430.748,"body":"equality and respect. Being co equal"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":430.796,"endTime":433.556,"body":"partners equality is a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":433.58,"endTime":436.39599999999996,"body":"myth to me in relationships because each partner is a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":436.41999999999996,"endTime":439.292,"body":"unique person with unique needs, unique"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":439.34799999999996,"endTime":442.30199999999996,"body":"skills, strengths, and abilities. Being"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":442.358,"endTime":445.15,"body":"equal means the sameness as in the same amount of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":445.18199999999996,"endTime":447.75399999999996,"body":"money, the same chores, the same products,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":448.214,"endTime":450.87,"body":"the same resources, the same"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":450.942,"endTime":453.614,"body":"strengths, etcetera. But being co"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":453.654,"endTime":456.486,"body":"equal means being equal in rank in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":456.51,"endTime":459.25399999999996,"body":"your relationship, and that allows space for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":459.294,"endTime":462.198,"body":"individual differences. I feel like this"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":462.246,"endTime":464.758,"body":"search for equality in relationships and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":464.806,"endTime":467.21799999999996,"body":"equality in gender, if you will,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":467.366,"endTime":469.746,"body":"has really created unnecessary"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":469.81,"endTime":471.442,"body":"conflict in romantic"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":471.498,"endTime":474.234,"body":"relationships. Being a co equal"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":474.274,"endTime":476.45,"body":"partner allows room for negotiation and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":476.48199999999997,"endTime":478.974,"body":"collaboration and celebration"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":479.274,"endTime":482.154,"body":"of where you notice disagreements or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":482.234,"endTime":484.99399999999997,"body":"differences. Seeing yourself as a co"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":485.034,"endTime":487.514,"body":"equal partner brings a natural sense of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":487.554,"endTime":490.48199999999997,"body":"empowerment to the relationship and reduces"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":490.538,"endTime":492.974,"body":"conflict, defensiveness and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":493.574,"endTime":496.382,"body":"arguments. I hear couples often"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":496.438,"endTime":499.286,"body":"say they wish things could go back to the way they used to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":499.31,"endTime":502.22999999999996,"body":"be and they get disappointed when they realize"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":502.30199999999996,"endTime":505.07,"body":"change happens. As we grow age and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":505.102,"endTime":506.99,"body":"deal with the dynamics of day to day"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":507.022,"endTime":509.878,"body":"experiences, nothing really does stay"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":509.926,"endTime":512.926,"body":"the same. Which is why working towards"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":512.99,"endTime":515.886,"body":"and embracing becoming co equals helps couples"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":515.95,"endTime":518.79,"body":"grow together as change happens in"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":518.822,"endTime":521.624,"body":"their life together. Being flexible"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":521.7040000000001,"endTime":524.192,"body":"here is essential for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":524.248,"endTime":526.5840000000001,"body":"having a healthy, successful"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":526.664,"endTime":529.288,"body":"relationship. Staying current,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":529.416,"endTime":531.884,"body":"meaning being present in the now,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":532.184,"endTime":535.024,"body":"not thinking or talking or discussing about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":535.144,"endTime":537.764,"body":"discussing things that happened in the past"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":538.104,"endTime":540.484,"body":"that are triggers for you now,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":540.864,"endTime":543.8240000000001,"body":"or not discussing things in the future."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":543.904,"endTime":546.6080000000001,"body":"Unless it's a planning conversation focused about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":546.6560000000001,"endTime":549.628,"body":"planning for your future, being in the now is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":549.716,"endTime":552.668,"body":"really essential. So a successful"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":552.716,"endTime":555.548,"body":"relationship is dynamic. So adapting day to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":555.596,"endTime":558.1560000000001,"body":"day staying current means"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":558.26,"endTime":560.884,"body":"being present and focusing on the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":560.924,"endTime":563.708,"body":"present moment. A successful relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":563.756,"endTime":566.224,"body":"is dynamic and adapting"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":566.524,"endTime":569.508,"body":"to day to day change and being flexible with each other"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":569.556,"endTime":572.452,"body":"when your minds change instead of getting upset"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":572.508,"endTime":574.94,"body":"and creating conflict is an advanced"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":575.0120000000001,"endTime":577.938,"body":"relationship skill. The good news is that most"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":577.986,"endTime":580.554,"body":"partners are already skilled at doing this at"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":580.594,"endTime":583.466,"body":"work or in their other relationships, but they"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":583.49,"endTime":586.33,"body":"don't bring that skill home. Partners who"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":586.362,"endTime":589.226,"body":"regularly assess their needs and the state of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":589.25,"endTime":591.266,"body":"their relationship can make necessary"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":591.33,"endTime":594.25,"body":"adjustments real time to stay aligned with"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":594.282,"endTime":597.266,"body":"each other's needs, goals and dreams the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":597.29,"endTime":599.962,"body":"pillars of a strong relationship there are"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":600.018,"endTime":602.378,"body":"pillars on which a healthy relationship can"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":602.426,"endTime":605.1360000000001,"body":"stand. These include being able to be"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":605.1600000000001,"endTime":608.08,"body":"yourself around your partner, being best friends,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":608.192,"endTime":610.912,"body":"being a, uh, healthy, secure and happy partner,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":611.048,"endTime":613.576,"body":"and having a shared vision for your future"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":613.64,"endTime":616.344,"body":"together. When these pillars are strong, the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":616.384,"endTime":619.2080000000001,"body":"relationship is more likely to withstand the tests of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":619.2560000000001,"endTime":622.1360000000001,"body":"time. I'll share my 15 pillars of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":622.1600000000001,"endTime":625.032,"body":"a strong relationship that I use with my clients later"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":625.0880000000001,"endTime":627.936,"body":"on in this podcast. The bedrock of a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":627.96,"endTime":630.654,"body":"healthy relationship a ah, healthy relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":630.734,"endTime":633.6700000000001,"body":"does require constant care and feeding"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":633.8620000000001,"endTime":636.638,"body":"that is built on trust, dependability,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":636.7660000000001,"endTime":639.1260000000001,"body":"realistic expectations, a ah, positive"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":639.19,"endTime":641.702,"body":"outlook using connecting and curious"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":641.758,"endTime":644.046,"body":"communication, deep caring,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":644.23,"endTime":646.966,"body":"negotiating and compromising, and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":647.1500000000001,"endTime":649.75,"body":"seeing the best in each other instead of"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":649.782,"endTime":652.7420000000001,"body":"fixating on all the problems and what's not working."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":652.878,"endTime":655.854,"body":"When both partners are committed to nurturing these aspects,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":655.9340000000001,"endTime":658.826,"body":"the relationship flourishes. I find when"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":658.85,"endTime":661.514,"body":"I work with couples, by the time they get to me,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":661.5540000000001,"endTime":664.442,"body":"they're 100% focused on what's not working"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":664.498,"endTime":667.138,"body":"in the relationship. But when I start"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":667.306,"endTime":669.85,"body":"asking them questions about what is working,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":669.962,"endTime":672.666,"body":"it's amazing what shows up. There's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":672.73,"endTime":675.73,"body":"all this stuff that's really great about"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":675.7620000000001,"endTime":678.73,"body":"the relationship. It's just that their critical"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":678.802,"endTime":681.7860000000001,"body":"brain has fixated on the negativity"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":681.85,"endTime":684.6500000000001,"body":"and the negative aspects of the relationship. That"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":684.682,"endTime":687.6500000000001,"body":"they forget about all the things that are really good"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":687.682,"endTime":690.546,"body":"and healthy. A successful relationship is a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":690.57,"endTime":692.9780000000001,"body":"harmonious blend of love, trust, respect,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":693.066,"endTime":695.274,"body":"communication and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":695.4340000000001,"endTime":698.018,"body":"collaboration. It's about two people coming"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":698.066,"endTime":700.0740000000001,"body":"together not to complete or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":700.114,"endTime":702.6740000000001,"body":"compete, but to complement each"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":702.714,"endTime":705.618,"body":"other. It's a journey of shared growth, laughter"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":705.666,"endTime":708.33,"body":"and love between two people who are committed to each other's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":708.3620000000001,"endTime":710.754,"body":"success and the success of their"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":710.7940000000001,"endTime":713.72,"body":"relationship. And building that together"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":713.832,"endTime":716.8040000000001,"body":"takes time. It takes conversation."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":717.104,"endTime":720.024,"body":"It takes learning about each other's perspectives and then"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":720.0640000000001,"endTime":722.696,"body":"finding where you have common ground while"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":722.76,"endTime":725.004,"body":"allowing the individual differences."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":725.7040000000001,"endTime":728.64,"body":"You don't have to agree with each other. You truly"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":728.792,"endTime":731.768,"body":"can disagree and do your own thing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":731.936,"endTime":734.88,"body":"and find the commonality in the. In the areas"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":734.952,"endTime":737.764,"body":"that you do disagree and share those."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":738.124,"endTime":740.9960000000001,"body":"Now I want to share the relationship success system that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":741.0200000000001,"endTime":743.916,"body":"I've created for my work with couples."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":744.1,"endTime":746.94,"body":"The relationship success system serves as a roadmap"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":746.9720000000001,"endTime":749.548,"body":"for couples seeking a harmonious and fulfilling"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":749.596,"endTime":752.46,"body":"relationship. It includes various elements"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":752.532,"endTime":755.26,"body":"that contribute to relationship well being."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":755.452,"endTime":758.356,"body":"It is a comprehensive, practical framework"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":758.46,"endTime":761.22,"body":"designed by me to help you enhance and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":761.2520000000001,"endTime":764.172,"body":"nurture your relationships. Let's explore"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":764.2280000000001,"endTime":766.988,"body":"each component at a high level. The sovereign"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":767.0360000000001,"endTime":769.86,"body":"relationship needs relationship mindsets and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":769.892,"endTime":772.148,"body":"behaviors. 15 relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":772.196,"endTime":774.9720000000001,"body":"competencies or pillars"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":775.148,"endTime":777.4440000000001,"body":"connecting and curious communication"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":777.604,"endTime":780.4680000000001,"body":"managing your energy with relational human design"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":780.596,"endTime":783.024,"body":"and the relationship vitality plan."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":783.3240000000001,"endTime":785.788,"body":"I'll start with the five sovereign relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":785.836,"endTime":788.428,"body":"needs. Understanding each other's unique"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":788.476,"endTime":790.9960000000001,"body":"needs is crucial. I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":791.0200000000001,"endTime":794.004,"body":"emphasize that, ah. Identifying and honoring your individual needs"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":794.0440000000001,"endTime":796.796,"body":"and values within your relationship in the work that I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":796.82,"endTime":799.7420000000001,"body":"do, and by doing so, you both, as a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":799.758,"endTime":802.2620000000001,"body":"couple, can create a foundation of trust and mutual"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":802.3180000000001,"endTime":805.2860000000001,"body":"support. Understanding each other's sovereign"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":805.35,"endTime":808.35,"body":"relationship need and the one"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":808.3820000000001,"endTime":810.966,"body":"that is your weakness is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":811.1500000000001,"endTime":813.846,"body":"really helpful so that you can start to understand"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":813.95,"endTime":816.5260000000001,"body":"each other and communicate"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":816.71,"endTime":819.5740000000001,"body":"in the language your partner needs, not"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":819.614,"endTime":822.5740000000001,"body":"in the language that you use. So an example would"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":822.614,"endTime":825.2460000000001,"body":"be sovereign relationship need of love and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":825.2700000000001,"endTime":827.9780000000001,"body":"belonging needs. Loving language"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":828.066,"endTime":830.802,"body":"needs time to frame"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":830.8580000000001,"endTime":833.73,"body":"the conversation. For example,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":833.7620000000001,"endTime":836.4580000000001,"body":"if you're about to say something critical and love and belonging"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":836.5060000000001,"endTime":839.3860000000001,"body":"isn't your relationship need, but it is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":839.4100000000001,"endTime":842.274,"body":"your partner saying something like, I really"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":842.354,"endTime":845.202,"body":"appreciate you making"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":845.258,"endTime":848.13,"body":"me coffee in the morning. It's so helpful"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":848.162,"endTime":851.106,"body":"to me to get my day started. Can I ask you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":851.13,"endTime":853.8280000000001,"body":"to add or do one thing slightly differently"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":853.946,"endTime":856.89,"body":"for me when you make my coffee? Whereas a, uh,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":856.912,"endTime":859.488,"body":"power. Someone who has a power sovereign"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":859.5360000000001,"endTime":862.4000000000001,"body":"relationship need would say, thank you for the coffee. Can you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":862.432,"endTime":865.392,"body":"add this, please? And so, to love and belonging."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":865.488,"endTime":868.2040000000001,"body":"It can sound really curt and hurtful."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":868.504,"endTime":871.4720000000001,"body":"So we have to learn how to speak each other's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":871.648,"endTime":874.2320000000001,"body":"language from the perspective of the sovereign"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":874.288,"endTime":877.124,"body":"relationship needs. We each have"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":877.4240000000001,"endTime":880.408,"body":"to learn your sovereign relationship need"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":880.456,"endTime":883.0,"body":"and that of your partner. I invite you to go and take the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":883.032,"endTime":885.3140000000001,"body":"quiz at needs dot"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":885.394,"endTime":887.5740000000001,"body":"drdarhawks.com."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":887.9540000000001,"endTime":890.7940000000001,"body":"Next is the relationship mindsets and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":890.8340000000001,"endTime":893.73,"body":"behaviors part of the relationship success"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":893.842,"endTime":896.082,"body":"system? You and your partner's"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":896.138,"endTime":898.914,"body":"thoughts, actions, behaviors,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":899.034,"endTime":900.7700000000001,"body":"words, and gestures"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":900.962,"endTime":903.9300000000001,"body":"significantly impact your relationship and power"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":904.0020000000001,"endTime":906.85,"body":"dynamics. I encourage couples I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":906.8820000000001,"endTime":909.282,"body":"work with to cultivate positive relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":909.3380000000001,"endTime":911.658,"body":"mindsets and adopt healthy relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":911.706,"endTime":914.0740000000001,"body":"behaviors that create connection."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":914.414,"endTime":917.1980000000001,"body":"This includes learning empathy, active"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":917.2460000000001,"endTime":920.142,"body":"listening, emotional intelligence, how to say"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":920.1980000000001,"endTime":922.914,"body":"things without creating an upset or fight"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":923.2940000000001,"endTime":926.19,"body":"using the language of your partner through"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":926.2620000000001,"endTime":928.398,"body":"their sovereign relationship need"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":928.566,"endTime":931.2220000000001,"body":"and multiple intelligence"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":931.278,"endTime":934.038,"body":"skills. You can learn more about multiple intelligence"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":934.086,"endTime":936.7180000000001,"body":"skills by going to drdarhawks.com"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":936.7660000000001,"endTime":939.51,"body":"comma, click on the blog link and search for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":939.542,"endTime":942.24,"body":"multiple intelligence. The third"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":942.312,"endTime":944.9680000000001,"body":"component or ingredient of the relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":945.0160000000001,"endTime":947.264,"body":"success system are the 15"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":947.384,"endTime":950.0400000000001,"body":"relationship competencies that I also call"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":950.1120000000001,"endTime":952.816,"body":"pillars. The 15 pillars are"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":952.88,"endTime":955.344,"body":"being m mindful and respectful of each other,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":955.464,"endTime":958.416,"body":"appreciating and loving each other, balancing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":958.48,"endTime":960.76,"body":"individuality with being a couple,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":960.912,"endTime":963.312,"body":"valuing and appreciating each other,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":963.488,"endTime":966.288,"body":"supporting each other, trusting each other and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":966.336,"endTime":969.192,"body":"honoring each other's commitments as well as those of your own"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":969.248,"endTime":971.798,"body":"and giving your partner space to honor"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":971.846,"endTime":974.1500000000001,"body":"theirs, provide and have emotional"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":974.2220000000001,"endTime":976.8860000000001,"body":"safety, spiritual safety and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":976.95,"endTime":979.566,"body":"financial security accepting and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":979.59,"endTime":982.3340000000001,"body":"understanding each other practicing connecting"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":982.374,"endTime":984.782,"body":"communication skills creating common"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":984.8380000000001,"endTime":987.4780000000001,"body":"ground, creating intimate connection,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":987.6460000000001,"endTime":990.4300000000001,"body":"creating harmony and healthy boundaries and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":990.462,"endTime":993.302,"body":"creating time and space for romance, intimacy,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":993.398,"endTime":996.366,"body":"and sex. So there's a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":996.39,"endTime":999.142,"body":"lot that goes into these 15 relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":999.1980000000001,"endTime":1002.022,"body":"pillars and each one takes"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1002.0780000000001,"endTime":1004.974,"body":"communication and conversation from"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1005.014,"endTime":1007.5740000000001,"body":"the lens of your sovereign relationship. Need to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1007.614,"endTime":1010.438,"body":"determine what your needs are around"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1010.5260000000001,"endTime":1013.4060000000001,"body":"each of the pillars and what"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1013.4300000000001,"endTime":1016.3100000000001,"body":"your partner's needs are around each of the pillars."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1016.5020000000001,"endTime":1019.086,"body":"The fourth one is using connecting communication."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1019.19,"endTime":1021.238,"body":"Communication is really at the heart of any"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1021.2860000000001,"endTime":1023.95,"body":"relationship. I coach my clients to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1023.9820000000001,"endTime":1026.554,"body":"embrace curiosity driven conversations"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1027.014,"endTime":1029.718,"body":"and listening without"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1029.846,"endTime":1032.83,"body":"any interruption, or listening without the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1032.862,"endTime":1035.71,"body":"need to share your own perspective."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1035.782,"endTime":1038.43,"body":"Just simply listening and seeking to understand your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1038.462,"endTime":1041.454,"body":"partner and their perspective and echoing that back"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1041.494,"endTime":1044.494,"body":"to them. This approach actually creates deeper"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1044.5339999999999,"endTime":1047.358,"body":"connection and minimizes misunderstandings because"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1047.406,"endTime":1049.974,"body":"you're not interjecting your opinion or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1050.014,"endTime":1052.998,"body":"interjecting your interpretation or assumptions"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1053.086,"endTime":1055.424,"body":"or reacting or getting defensive or being"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1055.464,"endTime":1058.392,"body":"judgmental. You're just listening to your partner sharing."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1058.448,"endTime":1061.4,"body":"And that's a wonderful gift you can give them. When"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1061.432,"endTime":1064.424,"body":"they're finished sharing, you can simply say, is there more"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1064.464,"endTime":1066.944,"body":"you want to share about that? If they say"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1066.984,"endTime":1069.816,"body":"no, then ask them, how can I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1069.84,"endTime":1072.816,"body":"support you in this right? They are a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1072.84,"endTime":1075.576,"body":"sovereign human being just like you are. And"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1075.6399999999999,"endTime":1078.52,"body":"because you're both sovereign beings, you're entitled"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1078.5919999999999,"endTime":1080.924,"body":"to your own thoughts and feelings and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1081.7839999999999,"endTime":1084.68,"body":"communicating those with you without the need"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1084.712,"endTime":1087.28,"body":"to change it, without the need to disagree,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1087.472,"endTime":1089.724,"body":"without the need to criticize."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1090.7839999999999,"endTime":1093.004,"body":"You're just listening and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1093.464,"endTime":1096.304,"body":"inviting your partner to share more deeply with you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1096.344,"endTime":1098.8799999999999,"body":"and creating a deeper emotional connection."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1099.072,"endTime":1101.992,"body":"The fifth one is managing your energy with relational human"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1102.048,"endTime":1104.944,"body":"design. Energy management is often overlooked"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1104.984,"endTime":1107.96,"body":"but essential. I introduce principles"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1108.032,"endTime":1111.0,"body":"from relational human design, and you can search for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1111.032,"endTime":1113.7279999999998,"body":"that on my website to learn more about it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1113.896,"endTime":1116.696,"body":"by clicking on services and then clicking"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1116.72,"endTime":1119.6,"body":"on relational human design. By working with"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1119.672,"endTime":1122.424,"body":"each couple's human design, I help"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1122.464,"endTime":1125.384,"body":"them optimize their energy flow, manage their moods,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1125.464,"endTime":1127.8239999999998,"body":"understand their own decision making and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1127.864,"endTime":1129.8239999999998,"body":"communication barriers that can cause"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1129.864,"endTime":1132.76,"body":"disconnection, and learn how to restore"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1132.8319999999999,"endTime":1135.456,"body":"positive, healthy energy between each other."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1135.6399999999999,"endTime":1138.224,"body":"Understanding each other's energy patterns"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1138.384,"endTime":1141.378,"body":"is what relational human design is, and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1141.466,"endTime":1144.414,"body":"it can lead to better alignment and balance."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1144.754,"endTime":1147.202,"body":"The last one is creating a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1147.338,"endTime":1150.1299999999999,"body":"relationship vitality plan. I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1150.162,"endTime":1153.114,"body":"encourage couples to create a personalized relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1153.154,"endTime":1155.778,"body":"vitality plan. This involves setting"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1155.826,"endTime":1158.682,"body":"intentions, prioritizing self care, and nurturing"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1158.7379999999998,"endTime":1161.6019999999999,"body":"the relationship intentionally, consciously and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1161.658,"endTime":1164.434,"body":"actively. I have created a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1164.474,"endTime":1167.338,"body":"framework that's practical that you can use"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1167.426,"endTime":1170.2559999999999,"body":"to guide your conversations called the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1170.28,"endTime":1173.056,"body":"relationship vitality plan, and it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1173.08,"endTime":1176.0639999999999,"body":"includes all 15 relationship competencies or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1176.1039999999998,"endTime":1178.8799999999999,"body":"pillars, with space for you and your partner to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1178.912,"endTime":1181.76,"body":"identify and document what each of you would like"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1181.792,"endTime":1184.696,"body":"the other to start, stop, or continue doing."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1184.84,"endTime":1187.6799999999998,"body":"It also includes space for agreements that you make to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1187.712,"endTime":1190.656,"body":"each other for each competency that you can use to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1190.6799999999998,"endTime":1193.664,"body":"check in on progress with each other each month"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1193.704,"endTime":1196.31,"body":"or each quarter. I also include a, uh,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1196.356,"endTime":1198.956,"body":"section for appreciation and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1199.02,"endTime":1201.876,"body":"tracking balances in your emotional"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1201.9399999999998,"endTime":1204.6119999999999,"body":"bank account. Because you're both making"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1204.668,"endTime":1207.5159999999998,"body":"contributions or withdrawals from each other's emotional"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1207.58,"endTime":1210.5639999999999,"body":"bank account. I talk more about what that is"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1210.644,"endTime":1213.54,"body":"in the relationship vitality plan. The"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1213.572,"endTime":1216.148,"body":"plan adapts as the relationship and your life"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1216.196,"endTime":1219.1,"body":"evolves and is reviewed and updated if needed, at"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1219.1319999999998,"endTime":1221.952,"body":"least twice a year. I think quarterly"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1222.008,"endTime":1224.936,"body":"is great because it removes those upsets that happen day"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1224.96,"endTime":1227.712,"body":"to day. You know, the little things that all of a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1227.7279999999998,"endTime":1230.52,"body":"sudden become big things, and then it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1230.552,"endTime":1233.088,"body":"results in a fight or saying something"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1233.2559999999999,"endTime":1236.096,"body":"that's in a way that's unkind. It"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1236.1599999999999,"endTime":1239.0159999999998,"body":"prevents that from happening because, you know, you have a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1239.04,"endTime":1241.7359999999999,"body":"structure and a schedule to focus on the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1241.76,"endTime":1244.176,"body":"relationship and talk about how things are going."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1244.36,"endTime":1247.224,"body":"Reviewing your vitality plan more frequently on your"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1247.264,"endTime":1250.2179999999998,"body":"own can also serve as a relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1250.2659999999998,"endTime":1252.97,"body":"health check in to help you clarify where you're"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1253.002,"endTime":1255.9779999999998,"body":"feeling disconnected or where you feel there's an issue"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1256.0259999999998,"endTime":1259.002,"body":"that might need to be addressed. And then you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1259.018,"endTime":1262.01,"body":"can just jot notes of it, jot notes of the example to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1262.042,"endTime":1264.77,"body":"remind you. And then when you have your scheduled,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1264.8819999999998,"endTime":1267.6019999999999,"body":"prescheduled relationship vitality"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1267.658,"endTime":1270.614,"body":"plan meeting with your partner, you can address it. Then"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1270.914,"endTime":1273.522,"body":"that takes the emotional heat out of you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1273.618,"endTime":1276.54,"body":"and the pressure day to day. Because you'll"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1276.572,"endTime":1279.3799999999999,"body":"know what to say and you'll know what to ask for to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1279.412,"endTime":1282.1399999999999,"body":"restore harmony in that area of your relationship"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1282.172,"endTime":1285.116,"body":"vitality plan. And if you don't have a meeting"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1285.1799999999998,"endTime":1287.676,"body":"schedule, schedule one because it creates the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1287.6999999999998,"endTime":1290.54,"body":"container to talk about your relationship during that"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1290.572,"endTime":1293.5159999999998,"body":"meeting time instead of just blurting it out when it"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1293.54,"endTime":1296.4279999999999,"body":"bothers you or when it's become something too"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1296.4759999999999,"endTime":1299.396,"body":"big that you just explode. It's unfair to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1299.4199999999998,"endTime":1302.388,"body":"you and it's unfair to your partner to manage your emotions"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1302.436,"endTime":1305.1499999999999,"body":"and manage your day to day. Uh,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1305.1499999999999,"endTime":1308.146,"body":"upsets that way. Relationships do require"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1308.21,"endTime":1310.634,"body":"ongoing effort and commitment. My"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1310.674,"endTime":1313.57,"body":"relationship success system provides valuable tools to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1313.6019999999999,"endTime":1316.1699999999998,"body":"navigate challenges, build healthy communication"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1316.242,"endTime":1319.2179999999998,"body":"skills, deepen your connections, and create"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1319.346,"endTime":1322.322,"body":"lasting love. To get started on building"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1322.378,"endTime":1325.2659999999998,"body":"your relationship success and vitality plan, I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1325.29,"endTime":1328.0939999999998,"body":"invite you to book a coaching session with me today."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1328.514,"endTime":1331.014,"body":"You can do that by going to huddle."},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1333.1899999999998,"endTime":1336.1019999999999,"body":"Um, and if you're not quite ready for"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1336.118,"endTime":1339.0459999999998,"body":"a coaching session and instead are more interested in a"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1339.07,"endTime":1341.822,"body":"DIY tool, you can get the better"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1341.878,"endTime":1344.87,"body":"relationships toolkit, which will walk you through the best"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1344.9019999999998,"endTime":1347.7259999999999,"body":"of my coaching tools and techniques to"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1347.75,"endTime":1350.606,"body":"get started right away. And if you want to dive into the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1350.6299999999999,"endTime":1353.59,"body":"relationship vitality plan now, you can do"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1353.6219999999998,"endTime":1356.598,"body":"that as well. Those links are"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1356.686,"endTime":1357.8919999999998,"body":"Toolkit dot"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1357.9479999999999,"endTime":1359.904,"body":"drdarhawks.com"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1360.244,"endTime":1362.836,"body":"and vitality dot"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1362.9399999999998,"endTime":1365.836,"body":"drdarhawks.com. And if"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1365.86,"endTime":1368.384,"body":"at any time you find you'd like some support"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1368.764,"endTime":1371.5639999999999,"body":"or some guidance to set up the"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1371.6039999999998,"endTime":1374.444,"body":"conversation for you, for you"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1374.484,"endTime":1377.364,"body":"and your partner, contact me and"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1377.404,"endTime":1380.3719999999998,"body":"let's connect. That's all for now. I"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1380.4279999999999,"endTime":1383.26,"body":"look forward to connecting with you in the next podcast, or"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1383.292,"endTime":1385.8899999999999,"body":"via a coaching session, or through the toolkit,"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1386.052,"endTime":1389.022,"body":"or as you build your relationship vitality"},{"speaker":"\u003e\u003e Dr. Dar Hawks","startTime":1389.078,"endTime":1391.734,"body":"plan for yourself and for your partner."}]}