{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":95.3,"endTime":98.242,"body":"Welcome to episode 47 of the Better"},{"startTime":98.306,"endTime":101.26599999999999,"body":"Relationships podcast. I'm Doctor Dhar,"},{"startTime":101.338,"endTime":104.226,"body":"the relationship healer, and today's topic"},{"startTime":104.298,"endTime":106.946,"body":"is how to save your marriage"},{"startTime":107.018,"endTime":109.594,"body":"alone and proven"},{"startTime":109.642,"endTime":112.19,"body":"methods that actually do work."},{"startTime":113.61,"endTime":116.306,"body":"You might think to save a marriage, both you and your"},{"startTime":116.338,"endTime":119.05799999999999,"body":"partner have to work on it together if you're"},{"startTime":119.114,"endTime":121.78999999999999,"body":"someone who gives credence to and pays"},{"startTime":121.83,"endTime":124.678,"body":"attention to popular opinion and"},{"startTime":124.73400000000001,"endTime":127.566,"body":"methods. But what if I told you"},{"startTime":127.598,"endTime":129.93,"body":"that you can save your marriage on your own?"},{"startTime":130.47,"endTime":132.89,"body":"Would you want to know how to do that?"},{"startTime":133.71,"endTime":136.43,"body":"I believe you would. So I'll share some"},{"startTime":136.47,"endTime":139.24599999999998,"body":"ways you can save your marriage without your partner"},{"startTime":139.31799999999998,"endTime":140.76999999999998,"body":"doing it with you."},{"startTime":141.95,"endTime":144.87,"body":"Understanding how to save your marriage alone is not"},{"startTime":144.91,"endTime":147.846,"body":"about shouldering all the responsibility and ownership"},{"startTime":147.918,"endTime":150.754,"body":"for your partner, but recognizing"},{"startTime":150.802,"endTime":152.72199999999998,"body":"the power of your personal"},{"startTime":152.826,"endTime":155.594,"body":"transformation. This"},{"startTime":155.642,"endTime":158.554,"body":"article explores self driven strategies for"},{"startTime":158.602,"endTime":161.386,"body":"improving your marriage. You will discover"},{"startTime":161.458,"endTime":163.714,"body":"effective methods to cultivate better"},{"startTime":163.762,"endTime":166.642,"body":"communication, promote personal growth,"},{"startTime":166.74599999999998,"endTime":169.20999999999998,"body":"and revive romance on your"},{"startTime":169.25,"endTime":171.79399999999998,"body":"own. By focusing on these"},{"startTime":171.84199999999998,"endTime":174.84199999999998,"body":"transformational steps, you can work towards"},{"startTime":174.906,"endTime":177.876,"body":"saving your marriage independently and with"},{"startTime":177.90800000000002,"endTime":180.56,"body":"a healthy dose of patience and observation,"},{"startTime":181.01999999999998,"endTime":183.804,"body":"you'll see shifts in your relationship and your"},{"startTime":183.852,"endTime":186.724,"body":"partner. I will"},{"startTime":186.892,"endTime":189.796,"body":"let you know, though, that this requires"},{"startTime":189.988,"endTime":192.76,"body":"a tremendous amount of self awareness."},{"startTime":195.78,"endTime":198.292,"body":"The first way is to understand the"},{"startTime":198.356,"endTime":200.68,"body":"need to save your marriage."},{"startTime":201.18,"endTime":204.124,"body":"Identifying your personal motivations for"},{"startTime":204.212,"endTime":206.54,"body":"preserving your relationship is your first"},{"startTime":206.62,"endTime":208.88,"body":"step. This is your why."},{"startTime":209.56,"endTime":211.952,"body":"Why do you want to save your"},{"startTime":212.01600000000002,"endTime":214.88,"body":"relationship? What are the reasons you"},{"startTime":214.92000000000002,"endTime":216.66000000000003,"body":"want to save your marriage?"},{"startTime":217.60000000000002,"endTime":220.39999999999998,"body":"Whether it's the love you still have for your partner, your"},{"startTime":220.44,"endTime":223.13600000000002,"body":"commitment to shared life goals, the"},{"startTime":223.168,"endTime":225.3,"body":"impact or the impact on your family,"},{"startTime":226.44,"endTime":228.33999999999997,"body":"or the impact on your family,"},{"startTime":228.8,"endTime":231.736,"body":"understanding why you want to save your marriage will provide"},{"startTime":231.808,"endTime":234.312,"body":"you with a sense of direction and"},{"startTime":234.37599999999998,"endTime":237.19,"body":"purpose. Knowing why will give you"},{"startTime":237.23000000000002,"endTime":239.69400000000002,"body":"strength, courage, and patience to do your"},{"startTime":239.74200000000002,"endTime":242.58999999999997,"body":"part. Reflect deeply on"},{"startTime":242.63,"endTime":244.61,"body":"what initially brought you together."},{"startTime":247.58999999999997,"endTime":250.414,"body":"Knowing why will give you strength, courage, and"},{"startTime":250.462,"endTime":252.32999999999998,"body":"patience to do your part."},{"startTime":253.07,"endTime":255.76600000000002,"body":"Reflect deeply on what initially brought you"},{"startTime":255.798,"endTime":258.478,"body":"together and what you stand to gain"},{"startTime":258.654,"endTime":260.69,"body":"by healing your relationship,"},{"startTime":261.83,"endTime":264.67,"body":"common issues often lead couples to question"},{"startTime":264.75,"endTime":267.566,"body":"their marriage. It could be financial stress,"},{"startTime":267.758,"endTime":269.93,"body":"lack of communication and connection,"},{"startTime":270.46999999999997,"endTime":272.13,"body":"emotional distance,"},{"startTime":272.95,"endTime":275.77,"body":"general busyness or career focus,"},{"startTime":276.67,"endTime":279.526,"body":"and not spending time on nurturing the"},{"startTime":279.558,"endTime":282.486,"body":"relationship. All of this contributes to"},{"startTime":282.518,"endTime":285.46999999999997,"body":"marriage struggles. Recognizing these"},{"startTime":285.51,"endTime":288.336,"body":"problems helps you address them in a"},{"startTime":288.368,"endTime":291.336,"body":"systematic way. By identifying your"},{"startTime":291.368,"endTime":294.192,"body":"motivations and common issues, you lay a"},{"startTime":294.216,"endTime":296.888,"body":"solid foundation for the subsequent"},{"startTime":296.944,"endTime":299.42,"body":"steps in saving your marriage independently."},{"startTime":300.56,"endTime":303.48,"body":"There are two things I would like you to do to help you"},{"startTime":303.52,"endTime":306.464,"body":"identify your why. The first one"},{"startTime":306.512,"endTime":309.392,"body":"is to discover what your dominant primary"},{"startTime":309.456,"endTime":312.256,"body":"relationship need is by taking the"},{"startTime":312.288,"endTime":315.064,"body":"relationships needs quiz. You can do that at"},{"startTime":315.112,"endTime":317.54,"body":"needs Drdarhawks."},{"startTime":319.02,"endTime":320.916,"body":"The second one is a self"},{"startTime":320.988,"endTime":323.48,"body":"diagnostic assessment tool"},{"startTime":324.02,"endTime":326.644,"body":"and it will go through 15 areas"},{"startTime":326.73199999999997,"endTime":329.24,"body":"of relationships to help you identify"},{"startTime":329.66,"endTime":332.404,"body":"what's working and what isn't working for"},{"startTime":332.452,"endTime":335.372,"body":"you and will help you identify the real"},{"startTime":335.436,"endTime":337.82,"body":"reasons why you want to save your"},{"startTime":337.86,"endTime":340.124,"body":"marriage. You can take this"},{"startTime":340.172,"endTime":343.164,"body":"assessment called. You"},{"startTime":343.172,"endTime":346.05199999999996,"body":"can take this assessment at couplesquiz"},{"startTime":346.236,"endTime":348.58,"body":"dot drdarhawks.com"},{"startTime":348.58,"endTime":351.503,"body":"m. There are 60 statements in"},{"startTime":351.551,"endTime":354.34299999999996,"body":"this quiz in this assessment for"},{"startTime":354.39099999999996,"endTime":357.219,"body":"you to evaluate what"},{"startTime":357.87899999999996,"endTime":360.703,"body":"areas you'd like to focus on improving"},{"startTime":360.791,"endTime":363.703,"body":"your marriage, which areas"},{"startTime":363.791,"endTime":366.703,"body":"you want to focus on to improve your marriage."},{"startTime":366.871,"endTime":369.767,"body":"It will help you get your mind clear and"},{"startTime":369.823,"endTime":372.231,"body":"straight around what the reasons"},{"startTime":372.29499999999996,"endTime":375.015,"body":"are, where you're having problems,"},{"startTime":375.127,"endTime":377.631,"body":"where the struggles are, and"},{"startTime":377.775,"endTime":380.526,"body":"I, to be honest, where things are"},{"startTime":380.558,"endTime":383.366,"body":"going. Well. Oftentimes when I work"},{"startTime":383.39799999999997,"endTime":386.18199999999996,"body":"with couples, they're so focused on the"},{"startTime":386.20599999999996,"endTime":388.63,"body":"problems that they don't even have any line of"},{"startTime":388.66999999999996,"endTime":391.39,"body":"sight to any of the good things that are"},{"startTime":391.43,"endTime":393.72999999999996,"body":"actually present in their relationship."},{"startTime":394.34999999999997,"endTime":396.774,"body":"This assessment will help you get clear about those"},{"startTime":396.822,"endTime":397.40999999999997,"body":"areas."},{"startTime":400.07,"endTime":402.854,"body":"The second way to save your marriage alone is through"},{"startTime":402.902,"endTime":404.77,"body":"self care and personal growth."},{"startTime":407.68,"endTime":410.52,"body":"They really are the foundation for a healthy"},{"startTime":410.56,"endTime":413.416,"body":"marriage. Believe it or not, focusing"},{"startTime":413.448,"endTime":416.18399999999997,"body":"on your well being through self care plays a crucial"},{"startTime":416.23199999999997,"endTime":418.7,"body":"role in saving your marriage on your own."},{"startTime":419.08,"endTime":421.84799999999996,"body":"By investing time in yourself and having quiet,"},{"startTime":421.904,"endTime":424.67199999999997,"body":"solitary time to bring your mind into a"},{"startTime":424.69599999999997,"endTime":427.32,"body":"calmer state, you can replenish your"},{"startTime":427.35999999999996,"endTime":430.216,"body":"emotional reserves, which is essential"},{"startTime":430.328,"endTime":432.56,"body":"when trying to improve your relationship with your"},{"startTime":432.59999999999997,"endTime":435.35999999999996,"body":"spouse. When you are emotionally"},{"startTime":435.4,"endTime":437.7,"body":"stable, grounded and content,"},{"startTime":438.44,"endTime":441.376,"body":"you will be better equipped to interact with"},{"startTime":441.40799999999996,"endTime":443.62399999999997,"body":"your partner with grace and"},{"startTime":443.67199999999997,"endTime":444.46,"body":"patience."},{"startTime":448.28,"endTime":451.048,"body":"A third way to save your marriage alone is"},{"startTime":451.104,"endTime":453.87399999999997,"body":"to, engage in activities that promote personal"},{"startTime":453.962,"endTime":456.77799999999996,"body":"growth. Participating in"},{"startTime":456.834,"endTime":459.674,"body":"activities actively that cultivate ongoing"},{"startTime":459.722,"endTime":462.306,"body":"personal growth can significantly enhance"},{"startTime":462.378,"endTime":465.294,"body":"your overall satisfaction and inner"},{"startTime":465.342,"endTime":468.18199999999996,"body":"joy and by extension, that"},{"startTime":468.246,"endTime":470.45,"body":"positively impacts your marriage."},{"startTime":471.59,"endTime":474.462,"body":"When you're in a better place, that"},{"startTime":474.526,"endTime":477.166,"body":"energy comes out of you and"},{"startTime":477.27799999999996,"endTime":479.96999999999997,"body":"impacts everybody in your home."},{"startTime":480.78999999999996,"endTime":483.454,"body":"Consider incorporating these exercises into your"},{"startTime":483.502,"endTime":486.27799999999996,"body":"routine. The first one is exercise."},{"startTime":486.37399999999997,"endTime":487.846,"body":"Regular physical activity"},{"startTime":487.918,"endTime":490.66999999999996,"body":"nothing"},{"startTime":494.35999999999996,"endTime":496.78,"body":"first activity is exercise."},{"startTime":497.44,"endTime":499.41999999999996,"body":"Regular physical activity"},{"startTime":502.15999999999997,"endTime":505.144,"body":"the first one is exercise. Regular"},{"startTime":505.23199999999997,"endTime":507.912,"body":"physical activity not only improves physical"},{"startTime":507.976,"endTime":510.85999999999996,"body":"health, but also boosts mental clarity,"},{"startTime":511.15999999999997,"endTime":514.02,"body":"emotional clarity and reduces stress."},{"startTime":516.41,"endTime":519.362,"body":"Take on some hobbies. Pursuing interests"},{"startTime":519.386,"endTime":522.37,"body":"such as painting, reading, gardening can"},{"startTime":522.41,"endTime":524.662,"body":"provide a, creative outlet and a sense of"},{"startTime":564.402,"endTime":567.1700000000001,"body":"accomplishment. Mindfulness"},{"startTime":567.2260000000001,"endTime":570.182,"body":"practices, techniques like meditation,"},{"startTime":570.802,"endTime":573.5540000000001,"body":"silent time, pilates, and yoga"},{"startTime":573.6980000000001,"endTime":576.1060000000001,"body":"help center your thoughts and promote inner"},{"startTime":576.1540000000001,"endTime":578.6740000000001,"body":"peace. Take on some learning"},{"startTime":578.738,"endTime":581.45,"body":"opportunities. Enroll in courses or attend"},{"startTime":581.5060000000001,"endTime":583.3820000000001,"body":"workshops that pique your interest."},{"startTime":583.8420000000001,"endTime":586.8420000000001,"body":"Continuous learning stimulates the mind and offers"},{"startTime":586.8820000000001,"endTime":589.738,"body":"new perspectives. Consider getting my"},{"startTime":589.7700000000001,"endTime":592.6980000000001,"body":"better relationships toolkit that's full of the best"},{"startTime":592.73,"endTime":595.61,"body":"of my techniques used with heart"},{"startTime":595.666,"endTime":596.6220000000001,"body":"centered women."},{"startTime":599.9620000000001,"endTime":602.8420000000001,"body":"Consider getting my better relationships toolkit"},{"startTime":602.922,"endTime":605.8660000000001,"body":"that's full of the best of my techniques that I've used"},{"startTime":605.9140000000001,"endTime":608.7620000000001,"body":"with heart centered women and their partners over"},{"startTime":608.802,"endTime":610.542,"body":"the last 20 years."},{"startTime":613.7520000000001,"endTime":615.9520000000001,"body":"You can do that at"},{"startTime":616.072,"endTime":617.2080000000001,"body":"toolkit dot"},{"startTime":617.2800000000001,"endTime":619.412,"body":"drdarhawks.com."},{"startTime":620.4720000000001,"endTime":623.312,"body":"the fourth way to save your marriage is"},{"startTime":623.3520000000001,"endTime":626.24,"body":"to look at and be aware of the impact of"},{"startTime":626.296,"endTime":628.7320000000001,"body":"individual happiness on your marriage."},{"startTime":629.672,"endTime":632.5600000000001,"body":"As I've mentioned before, individual joy"},{"startTime":632.6160000000001,"endTime":635.0640000000001,"body":"and happiness and lightheartedness is"},{"startTime":635.128,"endTime":636.412,"body":"empoweringly"},{"startTime":637.792,"endTime":639.84,"body":"is empoweringly"},{"startTime":639.9760000000001,"endTime":642.6320000000001,"body":"contagious. When you are fulfilled and"},{"startTime":642.6720000000001,"endTime":645.5440000000001,"body":"happy, it then creates a positive atmosphere at"},{"startTime":645.5680000000001,"endTime":648.4000000000001,"body":"home. Your partner is likely"},{"startTime":648.4560000000001,"endTime":650.412,"body":"to notice this change and"},{"startTime":656.792,"endTime":659.6640000000001,"body":"your partner is likely to notice this change"},{"startTime":659.8480000000001,"endTime":662.3520000000001,"body":"and respond more positively when you"},{"startTime":662.392,"endTime":665.21,"body":"interact with them. this does not mean you"},{"startTime":665.234,"endTime":668.1780000000001,"body":"are ignoring the issues in your marriage. It"},{"startTime":668.2180000000001,"endTime":671.0780000000001,"body":"means that you are showing you are"},{"startTime":671.4180000000001,"endTime":674.234,"body":"in control of your inner well being and"},{"startTime":674.306,"endTime":676.7460000000001,"body":"how you portray yourself to"},{"startTime":676.8020000000001,"endTime":679.7220000000001,"body":"others externally. And"},{"startTime":679.7700000000001,"endTime":682.0380000000001,"body":"it shows that you're approachable in a more"},{"startTime":682.7780000000001,"endTime":685.6980000000001,"body":"and it shows that you are approachable and"},{"startTime":685.7780000000001,"endTime":688.118,"body":"in a more positive minded space."},{"startTime":688.9480000000001,"endTime":691.1320000000001,"body":"Being in that space is more"},{"startTime":691.1800000000001,"endTime":693.7,"body":"attractive and more inviting"},{"startTime":693.8840000000001,"endTime":696.4920000000001,"body":"than being in a critical blaming,"},{"startTime":696.58,"endTime":699.1880000000001,"body":"angry, upset, frustrated or emotional"},{"startTime":699.2680000000001,"endTime":702.0680000000001,"body":"space. And what I mean"},{"startTime":702.1080000000001,"endTime":704.7320000000001,"body":"by that is outwardly expressing those"},{"startTime":704.7800000000001,"endTime":707.3960000000001,"body":"negative emotions as opposed to"},{"startTime":707.5720000000001,"endTime":710.388,"body":"being calm, being in a good space"},{"startTime":710.5480000000001,"endTime":713.2600000000001,"body":"and sharing your concerns from"},{"startTime":713.3240000000001,"endTime":715.8480000000001,"body":"that mood and that energetic space."},{"startTime":716.748,"endTime":718.9480000000001,"body":"This shift can pave the way for improved"},{"startTime":718.988,"endTime":721.8120000000001,"body":"communication, deeper emotional connections,"},{"startTime":721.94,"endTime":724.7280000000001,"body":"and ultimately a stronger marriage."},{"startTime":725.748,"endTime":728.0840000000001,"body":"Taking care of yourself should not be seen as"},{"startTime":728.1160000000001,"endTime":731.0360000000001,"body":"selfish. It is an investment in"},{"startTime":731.0520000000001,"endTime":733.7080000000001,"body":"the health of your relationship. By"},{"startTime":733.748,"endTime":736.4480000000001,"body":"prioritizing self care and personal growth,"},{"startTime":736.9480000000001,"endTime":739.8520000000001,"body":"you lay a solid foundation from"},{"startTime":739.9000000000001,"endTime":742.796,"body":"which you and your partner, and"},{"startTime":742.8520000000001,"endTime":745.2080000000001,"body":"consequently your marriage can thrive."},{"startTime":747.3580000000001,"endTime":750.238,"body":"The fifth way, and I go into more detail in"},{"startTime":750.2780000000001,"endTime":752.8620000000001,"body":"this one, is effective"},{"startTime":752.9100000000001,"endTime":755.5740000000001,"body":"communication strategies that will improve the"},{"startTime":755.6060000000001,"endTime":758.3580000000001,"body":"connection with you and your"},{"startTime":758.3980000000001,"endTime":760.7780000000001,"body":"partner without your partner's help."},{"startTime":761.7980000000001,"endTime":764.4780000000001,"body":"Enhancing communication skills is essential"},{"startTime":764.5980000000001,"endTime":767.2180000000001,"body":"when you aim to save your marriage alone."},{"startTime":767.638,"endTime":770.5180000000001,"body":"Effective communication in your marriage can bridge"},{"startTime":770.5580000000001,"endTime":772.5020000000001,"body":"gaps and cultivate deeper"},{"startTime":772.5500000000001,"endTime":775.464,"body":"connections. Here are some techniques"},{"startTime":775.4960000000001,"endTime":777.9480000000001,"body":"for enhancing your communication skills"},{"startTime":778.7280000000001,"endTime":781.3600000000001,"body":"to start improving communication without your"},{"startTime":781.3840000000001,"endTime":783.864,"body":"partner's help. Engage in active"},{"startTime":783.8960000000001,"endTime":784.7080000000001,"body":"listening"},{"startTime":786.5280000000001,"endTime":789.4000000000001,"body":"Engage in active listening pay close"},{"startTime":789.464,"endTime":792.4000000000001,"body":"attention to what your partner says without"},{"startTime":792.464,"endTime":795.0720000000001,"body":"interrupting. Show that you value their"},{"startTime":795.1200000000001,"endTime":797.9040000000001,"body":"perspective. Listening means"},{"startTime":797.9760000000001,"endTime":800.4920000000001,"body":"being silent. Listening"},{"startTime":800.5400000000001,"endTime":803.2600000000001,"body":"means not being concerned about what you're going to"},{"startTime":803.2840000000001,"endTime":806.2120000000001,"body":"say or having rebuttals"},{"startTime":806.2600000000001,"endTime":809.1000000000001,"body":"to what your partner is saying. It's truly just being"},{"startTime":809.1640000000001,"endTime":811.888,"body":"quiet and listening and letting them share"},{"startTime":812.3080000000001,"endTime":814.7080000000001,"body":"and creating the energetic space and"},{"startTime":814.748,"endTime":817.412,"body":"container where your partner is"},{"startTime":817.46,"endTime":820.0480000000001,"body":"supported, seen, heard and understood"},{"startTime":820.5880000000001,"endTime":823.5400000000001,"body":"by you. And that happens through"},{"startTime":823.604,"endTime":824.888,"body":"active listening."},{"startTime":826.758,"endTime":829.2700000000001,"body":"It does not happen to begin"},{"startTime":829.3340000000001,"endTime":831.5820000000001,"body":"with by asking them"},{"startTime":831.6300000000001,"endTime":832.5780000000001,"body":"questions,"},{"startTime":836.5980000000001,"endTime":839.5820000000001,"body":"criticizing them, or trying to"},{"startTime":839.6700000000001,"endTime":840.2980000000001,"body":"understand"},{"startTime":842.1580000000001,"endTime":845.1500000000001,"body":"or talking about how you're"},{"startTime":845.1740000000001,"endTime":846.378,"body":"going to support them."},{"startTime":849.5180000000001,"endTime":852.3980000000001,"body":"Pay attention to and be in control of your non"},{"startTime":852.4380000000001,"endTime":853.738,"body":"warp verbal cues."},{"startTime":855.3580000000001,"endTime":858.3580000000001,"body":"Pay attention to and be in control of your nonverbal"},{"startTime":858.3980000000001,"endTime":860.7780000000001,"body":"cues. Use eye contact"},{"startTime":861.638,"endTime":863.9900000000001,"body":"nodding to acknowledge and"},{"startTime":864.0540000000001,"endTime":866.138,"body":"appropriate facial, expressive"},{"startTime":867.998,"endTime":870.9820000000001,"body":"and appropriate facial expressions to convey"},{"startTime":871.0300000000001,"endTime":873.7980000000001,"body":"empathy and understanding. If your"},{"startTime":873.8380000000001,"endTime":876.8380000000001,"body":"partner is sharing with you openly and you're"},{"startTime":876.878,"endTime":879.3380000000001,"body":"nodding your head but you're saying no,"},{"startTime":879.9480000000001,"endTime":882.868,"body":"or your shoulders are all tensed"},{"startTime":882.9080000000001,"endTime":885.2880000000001,"body":"up and your face is scrunched up,"},{"startTime":886.0280000000001,"endTime":888.9800000000001,"body":"those are nonverbal cues that don't show support or"},{"startTime":889.0040000000001,"endTime":892.0040000000001,"body":"that you're actively listening. They come across. They can come"},{"startTime":892.0360000000001,"endTime":894.9000000000001,"body":"across as though you're being judgmental. That's what"},{"startTime":894.9240000000001,"endTime":897.508,"body":"I mean by being in control of your nonverbal"},{"startTime":897.5480000000001,"endTime":900.3320000000001,"body":"cues. Be relaxed. Be in the space"},{"startTime":900.3800000000001,"endTime":901.888,"body":"of open listening."},{"startTime":904.3480000000001,"endTime":907.128,"body":"Another communication skill that"},{"startTime":909.118,"endTime":911.3420000000001,"body":"can be challenging but is"},{"startTime":911.4300000000001,"endTime":914.4060000000001,"body":"essential is to take time for you"},{"startTime":914.4220000000001,"endTime":916.878,"body":"to shift your mindset from upset, anger,"},{"startTime":916.9580000000001,"endTime":919.8620000000001,"body":"criticism, or blame and wait for the right"},{"startTime":919.9100000000001,"endTime":922.0180000000001,"body":"timing when your partner is open"},{"startTime":923.0380000000001,"endTime":925.9180000000001,"body":"and waiting for the right timing when your partner is"},{"startTime":925.9580000000001,"endTime":928.782,"body":"open and approachable, but also the right"},{"startTime":928.83,"endTime":931.83,"body":"timing when you are as well, goes a long way"},{"startTime":931.854,"endTime":934.6460000000001,"body":"for saving your marriage alone. The worst"},{"startTime":934.7020000000001,"endTime":937.638,"body":"time to interact is when either of you are in an"},{"startTime":937.6780000000001,"endTime":940.388,"body":"inflamed Orlando unapproachable"},{"startTime":940.4680000000001,"endTime":943.46,"body":"mood. I find that in my work over"},{"startTime":943.484,"endTime":945.368,"body":"the last 20 years with couples,"},{"startTime":946.3080000000001,"endTime":949.1000000000001,"body":"they tend to want to handle"},{"startTime":949.1640000000001,"endTime":952.0520000000001,"body":"things immediately, as soon as they think about"},{"startTime":952.1000000000001,"endTime":954.128,"body":"it or within a couple of days."},{"startTime":955.0680000000001,"endTime":957.892,"body":"What happens, though, is they create a situation"},{"startTime":958.0600000000001,"endTime":960.248,"body":"where there's arguing, fighting."},{"startTime":962.4280000000001,"endTime":965.1720000000001,"body":"What happens, though, is they create a situation where there's"},{"startTime":965.2200000000001,"endTime":967.5480000000001,"body":"arguing, fighting,"},{"startTime":968.2780000000001,"endTime":971.046,"body":"or the situation gets unresolved because"},{"startTime":971.142,"endTime":974.0620000000001,"body":"neither of them are in the approachable space"},{"startTime":974.1500000000001,"endTime":976.4620000000001,"body":"to share openly, to"},{"startTime":976.5500000000001,"endTime":979.4460000000001,"body":"listen closely, and"},{"startTime":979.5020000000001,"endTime":982.3820000000001,"body":"to be silent while their partner"},{"startTime":982.4300000000001,"endTime":985.1100000000001,"body":"is sharing. The other thing that I also"},{"startTime":985.1740000000001,"endTime":987.5820000000001,"body":"notice is both partners want to share their"},{"startTime":987.6300000000001,"endTime":990.4060000000001,"body":"perspective. What's important"},{"startTime":990.5020000000001,"endTime":993.2220000000001,"body":"is to truly hear, see, and understand"},{"startTime":993.3900000000001,"endTime":996.3340000000001,"body":"each other. And to do that, you really need"},{"startTime":996.4860000000001,"endTime":999.3180000000001,"body":"to create space for your partner to just share and"},{"startTime":999.3580000000001,"endTime":1002.1340000000001,"body":"you not say anything other than tell me"},{"startTime":1002.166,"endTime":1004.8580000000001,"body":"more. How can I support you with this,"},{"startTime":1006.4780000000001,"endTime":1009.0180000000001,"body":"then at another time,"},{"startTime":1009.998,"endTime":1012.7740000000001,"body":"by role modeling for your partner how"},{"startTime":1012.8460000000001,"endTime":1015.7260000000001,"body":"you are listening and communicating, they"},{"startTime":1015.782,"endTime":1018.5980000000001,"body":"will do the same for you. And if several weeks"},{"startTime":1018.638,"endTime":1021.138,"body":"go by and they're not, you could make a,"},{"startTime":1021.138,"endTime":1023.816,"body":"really simple request of them."},{"startTime":1024.0,"endTime":1025.7640000000001,"body":"And the request could be,"},{"startTime":1027.664,"endTime":1030.248,"body":"I'm sure, honey, that you've noticed that I've"},{"startTime":1030.296,"endTime":1032.724,"body":"been listening differently and,"},{"startTime":1033.344,"endTime":1035.3600000000001,"body":"engaging with you in communication"},{"startTime":1035.472,"endTime":1038.336,"body":"differently. What have you noticed? And"},{"startTime":1038.3600000000001,"endTime":1040.928,"body":"let them share. And then"},{"startTime":1040.976,"endTime":1043.284,"body":"say, I have a request for you"},{"startTime":1043.664,"endTime":1046.6480000000001,"body":"when I am sharing with you. Would you do the same"},{"startTime":1046.6960000000001,"endTime":1047.5240000000001,"body":"for me?"},{"startTime":1049.914,"endTime":1052.434,"body":"Listen to me quietly, without"},{"startTime":1052.5140000000001,"endTime":1055.054,"body":"distraction, and"},{"startTime":1055.5140000000001,"endTime":1058.282,"body":"ask me when I've stopped sharing, if there's"},{"startTime":1058.338,"endTime":1061.17,"body":"more, and how you can support me with"},{"startTime":1061.202,"endTime":1064.026,"body":"that. Another"},{"startTime":1064.09,"endTime":1066.482,"body":"communication technique is to have regular check"},{"startTime":1066.538,"endTime":1069.174,"body":"ins. You can do this daily,"},{"startTime":1070.234,"endTime":1072.454,"body":"not for more than you could do this."},{"startTime":1074.044,"endTime":1076.94,"body":"You could do this daily, five to ten minutes"},{"startTime":1077.012,"endTime":1080.012,"body":"at the end of the day when you get home from work or"},{"startTime":1080.028,"endTime":1082.876,"body":"your partner gets home from work to discuss feelings, thoughts"},{"startTime":1082.9,"endTime":1085.892,"body":"or events. This habit keeps the lines"},{"startTime":1085.9080000000001,"endTime":1088.684,"body":"of communication open. I definitely"},{"startTime":1088.724,"endTime":1091.508,"body":"recommend doing this daily because"},{"startTime":1091.596,"endTime":1093.704,"body":"it becomes a habit and a routine."},{"startTime":1094.164,"endTime":1097.108,"body":"And you can use this technique that I've learned"},{"startTime":1097.1960000000001,"endTime":1100.144,"body":"in the business world called start, stop, continue."},{"startTime":1100.7640000000001,"endTime":1103.54,"body":"And it goes like what would you like me to"},{"startTime":1103.5720000000001,"endTime":1106.452,"body":"start doing that I'm not doing that would be"},{"startTime":1106.508,"endTime":1109.316,"body":"helpful to you. What would you like me to stop"},{"startTime":1109.38,"endTime":1112.26,"body":"doing that is not helpful? And"},{"startTime":1112.292,"endTime":1115.1480000000001,"body":"what would you like me to continue doing? You"},{"startTime":1115.156,"endTime":1117.972,"body":"can adjust this model however way"},{"startTime":1118.028,"endTime":1121.0240000000001,"body":"you wish, using the word start, stop, and continue."},{"startTime":1123.7640000000001,"endTime":1126.532,"body":"This technique will allow you to get through your"},{"startTime":1126.588,"endTime":1129.334,"body":"day, your daily conversations,"},{"startTime":1129.454,"endTime":1132.4460000000001,"body":"in less than five minutes. Once you become skilled in"},{"startTime":1132.47,"endTime":1135.414,"body":"it, it also takes the pressure and the"},{"startTime":1135.454,"endTime":1138.0140000000001,"body":"judgment and the criticism and the fighting and the"},{"startTime":1138.054,"endTime":1140.314,"body":"arguing out of the picture."},{"startTime":1141.134,"endTime":1144.102,"body":"The key also is to follow up when you"},{"startTime":1144.1580000000001,"endTime":1147.03,"body":"mention things to start, stop, or continue, or your"},{"startTime":1147.0620000000001,"endTime":1149.606,"body":"partner does, make note of them"},{"startTime":1149.75,"endTime":1152.5539999999999,"body":"and start actively making those shifts"},{"startTime":1153.464,"endTime":1156.432,"body":"day to day so that you both can follow"},{"startTime":1156.528,"endTime":1159.336,"body":"up on what you asked of"},{"startTime":1159.3999999999999,"endTime":1162.36,"body":"each other. I also invite you to"},{"startTime":1162.392,"endTime":1165.136,"body":"consider using my roller. I"},{"startTime":1165.16,"endTime":1168.004,"body":"also invite you to consider using my roulette."},{"startTime":1170.144,"endTime":1173.104,"body":"I also invite you to consider using my"},{"startTime":1173.144,"endTime":1176.128,"body":"relationship Vitality plan to help"},{"startTime":1176.176,"endTime":1178.324,"body":"guide you both in these conversations."},{"startTime":1178.914,"endTime":1181.786,"body":"The Vitality plan is designed for you both to"},{"startTime":1181.81,"endTime":1184.414,"body":"get together at least once a month,"},{"startTime":1189.434,"endTime":1192.254,"body":"at least once a month or quarterly"},{"startTime":1192.714,"endTime":1194.898,"body":"to review your"},{"startTime":1194.946,"endTime":1197.682,"body":"relationship. I include 15 areas"},{"startTime":1197.778,"endTime":1200.7459999999999,"body":"of concern in a relationship, with"},{"startTime":1200.93,"endTime":1203.458,"body":"many statements that you can discuss"},{"startTime":1203.546,"endTime":1206.174,"body":"together and see how you're doing. And"},{"startTime":1207.714,"endTime":1210.546,"body":"you could even give each other a score to see how you're doing"},{"startTime":1210.61,"endTime":1213.45,"body":"and then discuss how you both can improve in"},{"startTime":1213.482,"endTime":1216.37,"body":"that area. My vitality plan is"},{"startTime":1216.402,"endTime":1219.29,"body":"a PDF document that you can download and"},{"startTime":1219.362,"endTime":1220.974,"body":"work together on"},{"startTime":1221.914,"endTime":1224.474,"body":"improving your relationship. You can"},{"startTime":1224.514,"endTime":1227.1779999999999,"body":"also look at it and work on it on your"},{"startTime":1227.2259999999999,"endTime":1229.53,"body":"own. You can grab that at"},{"startTime":1229.562,"endTime":1232.514,"body":"vitality dot drdarhawks.com."},{"startTime":1232.634,"endTime":1235.418,"body":"and remember that couples quiz that I mentioned earlier?"},{"startTime":1235.506,"endTime":1238.44,"body":"That assessment? It is"},{"startTime":1238.512,"endTime":1240.904,"body":"included in the Vitality plan as"},{"startTime":1240.984,"endTime":1243.92,"body":"discussion points. I still invite"},{"startTime":1243.952,"endTime":1245.604,"body":"you to take that quiz though."},{"startTime":1248.384,"endTime":1251.376,"body":"Another way to improve your marriage on"},{"startTime":1251.3999999999999,"endTime":1254.096,"body":"your own is to understand the importance"},{"startTime":1254.16,"endTime":1256.84,"body":"of purposeful language and open"},{"startTime":1256.912,"endTime":1259.5919999999999,"body":"ended questions. Purposeful"},{"startTime":1259.648,"endTime":1262.456,"body":"language can significantly impact how well"},{"startTime":1262.56,"endTime":1264.704,"body":"or nothing you communicate."},{"startTime":1265.164,"endTime":1268.0919999999999,"body":"Avoid accusations instead of saying"},{"startTime":1268.148,"endTime":1270.384,"body":"you did this or"},{"startTime":1270.924,"endTime":1273.836,"body":"I'm sorry, you or I"},{"startTime":1273.86,"endTime":1276.308,"body":"feel like you frame your"},{"startTime":1276.356,"endTime":1278.8519999999999,"body":"conversations and concerns by using I"},{"startTime":1278.908,"endTime":1280.908,"body":"statements to prevent a, defensive"},{"startTime":1281.028,"endTime":1283.628,"body":"reaction. Here are some"},{"startTime":1283.668,"endTime":1286.244,"body":"examples. Instead of saying, you never"},{"startTime":1286.316,"endTime":1289.276,"body":"listen, try saying, I feel unheard"},{"startTime":1289.3319999999999,"endTime":1291.9479999999999,"body":"and unseen when I hear"},{"startTime":1292.248,"endTime":1294.628,"body":"you say this,"},{"startTime":1296.128,"endTime":1298.668,"body":"or when you do this,"},{"startTime":1299.208,"endTime":1302.04,"body":"or when I see you do this is even"},{"startTime":1302.104,"endTime":1304.36,"body":"better. Here's an"},{"startTime":1304.384,"endTime":1307.104,"body":"example. Ask open"},{"startTime":1307.176,"endTime":1309.518,"body":"ended questions. I find that couples,"},{"startTime":1309.918,"endTime":1312.918,"body":"tend to get stuck in asking closed ended"},{"startTime":1312.958,"endTime":1315.798,"body":"questions. Closed ended questions require"},{"startTime":1315.838,"endTime":1318.316,"body":"one wired closed ended"},{"startTime":1318.372,"endTime":1320.808,"body":"questions require one word answers"},{"startTime":1321.348,"endTime":1323.652,"body":"or nonverbal"},{"startTime":1323.74,"endTime":1325.968,"body":"gestures such as"},{"startTime":1327.028,"endTime":1329.768,"body":"was your day good? Yes or no."},{"startTime":1330.508,"endTime":1333.252,"body":"Open ended questions are questions that"},{"startTime":1333.3,"endTime":1335.9479999999999,"body":"encourage more detailed conversations"},{"startTime":1336.068,"endTime":1338.716,"body":"and responses and can"},{"startTime":1338.772,"endTime":1341.34,"body":"invite deeper discussions. Here's an"},{"startTime":1341.364,"endTime":1343.644,"body":"example. How do you feel about our"},{"startTime":1343.676,"endTime":1345.4479999999999,"body":"conversation last night?"},{"startTime":1346.1879999999999,"endTime":1348.724,"body":"Instead of did you like our"},{"startTime":1348.756,"endTime":1350.4479999999999,"body":"conversation last night?"},{"startTime":1352.588,"endTime":1355.5,"body":"The 6th way to save your marriage on"},{"startTime":1355.524,"endTime":1357.796,"body":"your own is to stay present during"},{"startTime":1357.8519999999999,"endTime":1360.348,"body":"conversations to cultivate"},{"startTime":1360.468,"endTime":1363.452,"body":"emotional connection. I can't"},{"startTime":1363.5,"endTime":1365.78,"body":"emphasize enough being silent,"},{"startTime":1365.884,"endTime":1368.8519999999999,"body":"undistracted, and fully focused on your partner"},{"startTime":1368.8999999999999,"endTime":1371.558,"body":"and making eye contact while they're in"},{"startTime":1371.628,"endTime":1373.714,"body":"talking and you are just"},{"startTime":1373.906,"endTime":1376.674,"body":"listening. Listening is"},{"startTime":1376.786,"endTime":1379.674,"body":"an action, just"},{"startTime":1379.7459999999999,"endTime":1382.202,"body":"like cooking or"},{"startTime":1382.37,"endTime":1385.306,"body":"cleaning or writing a report,"},{"startTime":1385.482,"endTime":1388.354,"body":"it is an action. It's not just something that you do"},{"startTime":1388.386,"endTime":1391.29,"body":"on the side. So being present"},{"startTime":1391.354,"endTime":1394.1299999999999,"body":"during conversations shows respect and"},{"startTime":1394.194,"endTime":1397.002,"body":"genuine interest in what your partner has to say,"},{"startTime":1397.17,"endTime":1399.518,"body":"and that creates and"},{"startTime":1399.558,"endTime":1402.262,"body":"builds love, affection,"},{"startTime":1402.3899999999999,"endTime":1405.366,"body":"and connection. M this is the most"},{"startTime":1405.462,"endTime":1408.022,"body":"underrated skill in"},{"startTime":1408.07,"endTime":1411.07,"body":"relationships in the world. I"},{"startTime":1411.094,"endTime":1413.43,"body":"believe listening is"},{"startTime":1413.494,"endTime":1415.658,"body":"extremely powerful."},{"startTime":1416.598,"endTime":1418.9379999999999,"body":"Way more than speaking,"},{"startTime":1420.758,"endTime":1423.07,"body":"you can stay present by engaging in"},{"startTime":1423.094,"endTime":1424.058,"body":"mindfulness."},{"startTime":1426.888,"endTime":1429.8,"body":"Focus entirely on the interaction"},{"startTime":1429.864,"endTime":1432.388,"body":"and your partner during the conversation."},{"startTime":1433.368,"endTime":1436.28,"body":"Switch off all distractions and noise,"},{"startTime":1436.424,"endTime":1438.828,"body":"like phones or television."},{"startTime":1439.488,"endTime":1442.104,"body":"The simple gesture of putting your cell phone in"},{"startTime":1442.136,"endTime":1444.922,"body":"silent mode and saying, I, know you want to"},{"startTime":1444.9379999999999,"endTime":1447.818,"body":"share. Right now I'm going to put my phone in silent mode and just"},{"startTime":1447.866,"endTime":1450.626,"body":"out of the way, let me do that, and then I'll be"},{"startTime":1450.6499999999999,"endTime":1453.636,"body":"ready to listen. You could"},{"startTime":1453.66,"endTime":1456.644,"body":"even place it in a drawer or another room while"},{"startTime":1456.684,"endTime":1459.404,"body":"you're communicating with your partner, because that shows your"},{"startTime":1459.444,"endTime":1462.3799999999999,"body":"commitment to seeing, hearing, understanding, and"},{"startTime":1462.412,"endTime":1463.744,"body":"supporting each other."},{"startTime":1464.924,"endTime":1466.424,"body":"Showing empathy."},{"startTime":1467.364,"endTime":1470.3319999999999,"body":"Understand your partner's emotions and reactions"},{"startTime":1470.4279999999999,"endTime":1472.908,"body":"from their perspective. This"},{"startTime":1472.956,"endTime":1475.904,"body":"requires careful listening, no interruptions,"},{"startTime":1476.244,"endTime":1477.984,"body":"no reactions or,"},{"startTime":1479.104,"endTime":1482.104,"body":"or critical facial expressions. Putting"},{"startTime":1482.144,"endTime":1484.952,"body":"yourself in your partner's shoes will show your partner"},{"startTime":1485.008,"endTime":1487.884,"body":"you see, hear, and understand, and support them,"},{"startTime":1489.624,"endTime":1492.504,"body":"saying things like, I understand, I"},{"startTime":1492.5439999999999,"endTime":1495.3519999999999,"body":"feel you. I see you when you say"},{"startTime":1495.408,"endTime":1498.224,"body":"that. I support you in"},{"startTime":1498.264,"endTime":1501.16,"body":"that periodically to show that you're"},{"startTime":1501.192,"endTime":1503.834,"body":"acknowledging and validating them will"},{"startTime":1503.874,"endTime":1506.774,"body":"help you save your marriage."},{"startTime":1508.874,"endTime":1510.894,"body":"Now I want to make a comment."},{"startTime":1512.394,"endTime":1515.026,"body":"I briefly want to touch on something. A lot of"},{"startTime":1515.05,"endTime":1517.994,"body":"times my clients at this point will"},{"startTime":1518.0339999999999,"endTime":1520.954,"body":"say, well, what is he going to do? What is my partner going to do?"},{"startTime":1520.994,"endTime":1523.754,"body":"Why do I have to do it all? Well,"},{"startTime":1523.834,"endTime":1526.81,"body":"firstly, this article is about how to save your marriage on"},{"startTime":1526.8419999999999,"endTime":1529.562,"body":"your own. And that's why we're talking about these"},{"startTime":1529.618,"endTime":1532.144,"body":"skills and implementing them in"},{"startTime":1532.184,"endTime":1534.896,"body":"your daily life and you"},{"startTime":1535.0,"endTime":1537.672,"body":"working on yourself and improving yourself"},{"startTime":1537.768,"endTime":1540.124,"body":"and building relationship skills"},{"startTime":1540.624,"endTime":1542.204,"body":"for yourself."},{"startTime":1543.744,"endTime":1546.6879999999999,"body":"Secondly, in 20 years of"},{"startTime":1546.7359999999999,"endTime":1549.338,"body":"working with couples, I, usually end up working"},{"startTime":1549.402,"endTime":1552.362,"body":"with one of them more frequently than the"},{"startTime":1552.394,"endTime":1555.138,"body":"other. And I can tell you without"},{"startTime":1555.242,"endTime":1557.866,"body":"doubt that"},{"startTime":1559.4859999999999,"endTime":1561.666,"body":"working with that one partner has"},{"startTime":1564.326,"endTime":1566.694,"body":"incredible impact on the other"},{"startTime":1566.75,"endTime":1569.67,"body":"partner. I was working with one"},{"startTime":1569.718,"endTime":1572.426,"body":"couple, and"},{"startTime":1574.166,"endTime":1576.718,"body":"her partner is a high level"},{"startTime":1576.782,"endTime":1579.106,"body":"executive in a large company,"},{"startTime":1580.086,"endTime":1583.078,"body":"and I would have sessions with him maybe"},{"startTime":1583.142,"endTime":1586.09,"body":"once a quarter, but with"},{"startTime":1586.138,"endTime":1589.018,"body":"her, I would work with her every week, sometimes more"},{"startTime":1589.042,"endTime":1591.2459999999999,"body":"frequently, and coach her."},{"startTime":1592.946,"endTime":1595.81,"body":"And about six to"},{"startTime":1595.858,"endTime":1598.6499999999999,"body":"eight months in of her improving and"},{"startTime":1598.6979999999999,"endTime":1600.166,"body":"working on herself,"},{"startTime":1601.426,"endTime":1604.354,"body":"she started noticing her partner transform right"},{"startTime":1604.37,"endTime":1607.1299999999999,"body":"in front of her eyes. He,"},{"startTime":1607.218,"endTime":1610.132,"body":"instead of coming home and focusing on things"},{"startTime":1610.164,"endTime":1613.124,"body":"to get done, would come in and"},{"startTime":1613.26,"endTime":1615.94,"body":"spend some time with her. He would"},{"startTime":1615.988,"endTime":1618.004,"body":"have more emotionally connecting"},{"startTime":1618.06,"endTime":1621.052,"body":"conversations, he would"},{"startTime":1621.124,"endTime":1622.776,"body":"ask more"},{"startTime":1623.516,"endTime":1626.212,"body":"feeling based questions. He would"},{"startTime":1626.244,"endTime":1629.084,"body":"start noticing when his daughter's or"},{"startTime":1629.1399999999999,"endTime":1631.656,"body":"his or her"},{"startTime":1632.596,"endTime":1635.492,"body":"feelings were hurt. Now, it"},{"startTime":1635.524,"endTime":1638.508,"body":"wasn't that he wasn't able to do this, he just wasn't wired"},{"startTime":1638.572,"endTime":1641.416,"body":"for it or focused on it for many years."},{"startTime":1642.056,"endTime":1644.816,"body":"So I can tell you without doubt that by"},{"startTime":1644.856,"endTime":1646.076,"body":"working on yourself"},{"startTime":1647.336,"endTime":1650.176,"body":"creates transformation in you that"},{"startTime":1650.216,"endTime":1653.048,"body":"then emanates outwardly and"},{"startTime":1653.232,"endTime":1655.888,"body":"it impacts the people around you. They can"},{"startTime":1655.952,"endTime":1658.84,"body":"feel it. It's very visceral. So"},{"startTime":1658.888,"endTime":1661.624,"body":"please don't underestimate the value of"},{"startTime":1661.68,"endTime":1664.536,"body":"working on your own growth and"},{"startTime":1664.576,"endTime":1667.456,"body":"development. In addition to that,"},{"startTime":1667.576,"endTime":1670.326,"body":"when you work on yourself, you're creating,"},{"startTime":1670.84,"endTime":1673.488,"body":"satisfaction for yourself. You're taking"},{"startTime":1673.552,"endTime":1676.384,"body":"responsibility and control of your own happiness"},{"startTime":1676.56,"endTime":1679.016,"body":"and not putting that responsibility on another"},{"startTime":1679.096,"endTime":1679.716,"body":"person."},{"startTime":1681.656,"endTime":1684.3039999999999,"body":"Another communication technique is to have a"},{"startTime":1684.32,"endTime":1687.312,"body":"feedback loop, summarize what your partner has"},{"startTime":1687.344,"endTime":1689.76,"body":"said and ask for clarification if"},{"startTime":1689.808,"endTime":1692.704,"body":"needed. Doing this ensures that"},{"startTime":1692.76,"endTime":1695.648,"body":"you hear what your partner shared with you in"},{"startTime":1695.672,"endTime":1697.356,"body":"the way that they intended,"},{"startTime":1698.126,"endTime":1700.702,"body":"or gives them an opportunity to"},{"startTime":1700.734,"endTime":1703.446,"body":"clarify if they didn't communicate"},{"startTime":1703.566,"endTime":1706.51,"body":"in the way they attend in the way they"},{"startTime":1706.558,"endTime":1709.374,"body":"intended. This provides validation"},{"startTime":1709.47,"endTime":1710.866,"body":"and acknowledgement."},{"startTime":1712.566,"endTime":1715.0539999999999,"body":"Incorporating these strategies can greatly"},{"startTime":1715.11,"endTime":1717.942,"body":"improve the quality of communication in"},{"startTime":1717.974,"endTime":1720.646,"body":"your marriage, even if your partner isn't"},{"startTime":1720.7259999999999,"endTime":1723.326,"body":"actively participating right"},{"startTime":1723.366,"endTime":1723.946,"body":"now."},{"startTime":1726.686,"endTime":1729.478,"body":"I also already touched on this, but I want to say it"},{"startTime":1729.502,"endTime":1732.286,"body":"again. By now you may be thinking, I'm the one that"},{"startTime":1732.326,"endTime":1734.782,"body":"has to do all of this. What about my"},{"startTime":1734.814,"endTime":1737.446,"body":"partner? My response is that being"},{"startTime":1737.4859999999999,"endTime":1740.3899999999999,"body":"a role model. My response"},{"startTime":1740.4379999999999,"endTime":1743.3419999999999,"body":"is that being a role model m for behaviors you want to"},{"startTime":1743.374,"endTime":1746.2939999999999,"body":"experience from others takes time"},{"startTime":1746.35,"endTime":1746.946,"body":"to."},{"startTime":1749.7359999999999,"endTime":1752.416,"body":"My response is that being a role"},{"startTime":1752.456,"endTime":1755.16,"body":"model for behaviors you want to"},{"startTime":1755.208,"endTime":1758.152,"body":"experience from others creates"},{"startTime":1758.184,"endTime":1760.792,"body":"the space for them to mirror it for"},{"startTime":1760.904,"endTime":1763.792,"body":"you. And it takes time"},{"startTime":1763.864,"endTime":1766.504,"body":"to consistently do so that they become a"},{"startTime":1766.56,"endTime":1769.276,"body":"habit that you"},{"startTime":1770.376,"endTime":1772.556,"body":"are doing routinely,"},{"startTime":1773.016,"endTime":1775.672,"body":"but also doing so and being patient for"},{"startTime":1775.704,"endTime":1778.472,"body":"positive results and behavior shifts in your"},{"startTime":1778.504,"endTime":1781.5,"body":"partner takes longer. Simple changes"},{"startTime":1781.548,"endTime":1784.348,"body":"in how you listen, speak and engage will create"},{"startTime":1784.412,"endTime":1786.756,"body":"a m more positive environment that's"},{"startTime":1786.796,"endTime":1789.296,"body":"conducive to healing and growth."},{"startTime":1792.836,"endTime":1795.5,"body":"We're now at the 7th way to save your"},{"startTime":1795.548,"endTime":1797.856,"body":"marriage on your own, and"},{"startTime":1798.676,"endTime":1801.668,"body":"the 7th way is to nurture intimacy on your own"},{"startTime":1801.732,"endTime":1804.62,"body":"terms. Oftentimes I see"},{"startTime":1804.668,"endTime":1807.242,"body":"one partner or the other giving control"},{"startTime":1807.354,"endTime":1810.234,"body":"of intimacy fully to the other partner."},{"startTime":1810.41,"endTime":1813.29,"body":"It's not one person's responsibility,"},{"startTime":1813.418,"endTime":1816.0819999999999,"body":"it's both of you. It's about"},{"startTime":1816.194,"endTime":1818.866,"body":"understanding what sex, romance and intimacy"},{"startTime":1818.946,"endTime":1821.786,"body":"looks like for you, what you would like to"},{"startTime":1821.826,"endTime":1824.578,"body":"have in your relationship, and then listening to"},{"startTime":1824.6019999999999,"endTime":1827.114,"body":"what your partner says about it."},{"startTime":1827.29,"endTime":1829.046,"body":"And when there are differences,"},{"startTime":1830.146,"endTime":1832.778,"body":"finding a way to accept each other's"},{"startTime":1832.8419999999999,"endTime":1835.59,"body":"no and boundaries, and working"},{"startTime":1835.638,"endTime":1838.55,"body":"together to collaborate to find areas"},{"startTime":1838.638,"endTime":1840.626,"body":"that you can agree to."},{"startTime":1841.526,"endTime":1844.182,"body":"Creating intimacy in your marriage often starts with"},{"startTime":1844.214,"endTime":1846.926,"body":"intentional emotional connection. My"},{"startTime":1846.966,"endTime":1849.814,"body":"prior points on communication, when applied in"},{"startTime":1849.83,"endTime":1852.466,"body":"your marriage, does build emotional connection."},{"startTime":1853.086,"endTime":1855.7259999999999,"body":"As I stated before, this will take time with"},{"startTime":1855.766,"endTime":1857.266,"body":"consistent application."},{"startTime":1858.686,"endTime":1861.1979999999999,"body":"This is not something you can do for a few weeks and"},{"startTime":1861.262,"endTime":1864.238,"body":"stop. This is not something you can"},{"startTime":1864.262,"endTime":1867.222,"body":"do for a few weeks and then stop. It truly"},{"startTime":1867.2939999999999,"endTime":1869.942,"body":"is an everyday and moment to moment"},{"startTime":1870.014,"endTime":1872.946,"body":"thing. And when you catch yourself"},{"startTime":1873.2459999999999,"endTime":1876.134,"body":"not doing these new behaviors"},{"startTime":1876.31,"endTime":1879.262,"body":"and going into your past habits, please don't"},{"startTime":1879.2939999999999,"endTime":1882.23,"body":"beat yourself up. Those other habits"},{"startTime":1882.278,"endTime":1885.094,"body":"were probably, probably in place for a very long"},{"startTime":1885.1499999999999,"endTime":1888.068,"body":"time. Instead, say, oh, I did"},{"startTime":1888.0919999999999,"endTime":1890.924,"body":"it again. Let me do a redo and"},{"startTime":1890.94,"endTime":1893.868,"body":"then do the new habit. It really can be"},{"startTime":1893.892,"endTime":1896.46,"body":"that simple. And it's a very effective"},{"startTime":1896.508,"endTime":1899.02,"body":"strategy to train and"},{"startTime":1899.068,"endTime":1901.94,"body":"retrain your mind and your body by"},{"startTime":1901.988,"endTime":1904.912,"body":"saying, oop, I did the old habit again. Let's do the"},{"startTime":1904.944,"endTime":1907.888,"body":"new one. You're actually talking to your body and"},{"startTime":1907.912,"endTime":1910.216,"body":"your mind, who"},{"startTime":1910.296,"endTime":1912.5919999999999,"body":"reprogram it for the new"},{"startTime":1912.624,"endTime":1915.45,"body":"habit. Also, planning"},{"startTime":1915.498,"endTime":1918.33,"body":"fun activities and regular date nights can"},{"startTime":1918.458,"endTime":1921.006,"body":"act as a catalyst for rekindling affection."},{"startTime":1921.9859999999999,"endTime":1924.77,"body":"Putting your phone away and focusing on each other"},{"startTime":1924.858,"endTime":1927.858,"body":"as you do. These activities together shows interest, but"},{"startTime":1927.882,"endTime":1930.666,"body":"you're also sharing in each other's interest and"},{"startTime":1930.706,"endTime":1932.636,"body":"bringing some fun into the relationship."},{"startTime":1934.526,"endTime":1937.142,"body":"movie nights. Choose a movie that both of you"},{"startTime":1937.174,"endTime":1940.134,"body":"enjoy and create a cozy environment at home where you"},{"startTime":1940.1499999999999,"endTime":1942.862,"body":"can talk about the movie and what you've learned from"},{"startTime":1942.894,"endTime":1945.854,"body":"it, what you liked, what you didn't like, so"},{"startTime":1945.87,"endTime":1948.774,"body":"that you can learn about your partner"},{"startTime":1948.87,"endTime":1951.71,"body":"and they can learn about you and how"},{"startTime":1951.758,"endTime":1954.502,"body":"you think of things and how you"},{"startTime":1954.5339999999999,"endTime":1957.158,"body":"approach things. Go on"},{"startTime":1957.182,"endTime":1959.95,"body":"outdoor adventures like hikes, bike rides, or even"},{"startTime":1959.998,"endTime":1961.786,"body":"simple picnics in the park."},{"startTime":1963.806,"endTime":1966.646,"body":"These are activities that take you away and outside"},{"startTime":1966.7259999999999,"endTime":1969.146,"body":"of the home. To enjoy nature"},{"startTime":1969.716,"endTime":1972.46,"body":"or events, it's"},{"startTime":1972.508,"endTime":1975.128,"body":"important to do things together outside of, the home as"},{"startTime":1975.176,"endTime":1978.08,"body":"well. Cook together, prepare a meal"},{"startTime":1978.112,"endTime":1981.096,"body":"together, because that creates teamwork and you get"},{"startTime":1981.12,"endTime":1983.8039999999999,"body":"to enjoy a delicious result, potentially."},{"startTime":1984.344,"endTime":1987.312,"body":"And if the meal doesn't taste good, use it as a learning"},{"startTime":1987.368,"endTime":1989.96,"body":"experience and say, oh my gosh, we really"},{"startTime":1990.152,"endTime":1992.084,"body":"didn't nail this one, did we?"},{"startTime":1992.904,"endTime":1995.384,"body":"Let's get some takeout, or let's go out and eat"},{"startTime":1995.464,"endTime":1998.394,"body":"and I on our next cooking together"},{"startTime":1998.814,"endTime":2001.638,"body":"excursion or exercise,"},{"startTime":2001.806,"endTime":2004.654,"body":"let's see what we can do to improve on this one. It really"},{"startTime":2004.694,"endTime":2007.59,"body":"is that simple. Instead of focusing on the mistake and"},{"startTime":2007.622,"endTime":2010.434,"body":"letting that drive you down into a negative spiral,"},{"startTime":2011.214,"endTime":2013.4379999999999,"body":"use it as an. As a learning experience."},{"startTime":2013.566,"endTime":2016.382,"body":"Because when you are not doing"},{"startTime":2016.4379999999999,"endTime":2019.43,"body":"things well and you are practicing learning"},{"startTime":2019.462,"endTime":2022.366,"body":"a new technique, you're actually learning"},{"startTime":2022.43,"endTime":2023.514,"body":"through the mistakes."},{"startTime":2025.614,"endTime":2028.518,"body":"Have game nights, play board games or card"},{"startTime":2028.566,"endTime":2030.982,"body":"games that encourage light hearted"},{"startTime":2031.158,"endTime":2032.314,"body":"conversation."},{"startTime":2034.134,"endTime":2036.918,"body":"Small gestures also can play a significant"},{"startTime":2037.046,"endTime":2039.59,"body":"role, and small"},{"startTime":2039.662,"endTime":2042.3899999999999,"body":"gestures can also play a significant role"},{"startTime":2042.542,"endTime":2045.518,"body":"in maintaining emotional connection. Simple"},{"startTime":2045.566,"endTime":2047.974,"body":"things like writing love notes, giving unexpected"},{"startTime":2048.0539999999996,"endTime":2050.95,"body":"hugs or kisses, or surprising your partner"},{"startTime":2050.982,"endTime":2053.366,"body":"with their favorite treat can make a substantial"},{"startTime":2053.43,"endTime":2055.6859999999997,"body":"impact. These gestures show"},{"startTime":2055.75,"endTime":2058.118,"body":"thoughtfulness, noticing their likes and"},{"startTime":2058.1659999999997,"endTime":2061.1099999999997,"body":"effort. These are all vital components in"},{"startTime":2061.142,"endTime":2063.9539999999997,"body":"nurturing intimacy and building emotional connection."},{"startTime":2066.4539999999997,"endTime":2069.27,"body":"In addition, when you truly listen"},{"startTime":2069.3419999999996,"endTime":2072.27,"body":"to each other, you will hear your partner"},{"startTime":2072.3419999999996,"endTime":2075.286,"body":"say things that they like or they want, or"},{"startTime":2075.31,"endTime":2077.5139999999997,"body":"they have a dream or a desire."},{"startTime":2078.0539999999996,"endTime":2080.538,"body":"And then you can write a note about it."},{"startTime":2080.6859999999997,"endTime":2083.614,"body":"Or you can show support by,"},{"startTime":2084.234,"endTime":2087.002,"body":"putting a vision board together for them."},{"startTime":2087.098,"endTime":2089.986,"body":"Or you can surprise them with"},{"startTime":2090.0099999999998,"endTime":2092.4179999999997,"body":"a small gift that"},{"startTime":2092.466,"endTime":2095.258,"body":"forwards that goal or the desire or their dream that"},{"startTime":2095.306,"endTime":2097.9739999999997,"body":"demonstrates that you truly are listening to them."},{"startTime":2098.274,"endTime":2101.0499999999997,"body":"Or you can go and do something"},{"startTime":2101.162,"endTime":2103.8579999999997,"body":"that they said they wanted to get done but didn't get"},{"startTime":2103.906,"endTime":2106.402,"body":"to. You're showing that you're"},{"startTime":2106.458,"endTime":2108.986,"body":"listening. So listening truly is not a"},{"startTime":2109.0099999999998,"endTime":2111.734,"body":"passive thing. It is a very active thing."},{"startTime":2113.594,"endTime":2116.5699999999997,"body":"8th way to save your relationship on"},{"startTime":2116.602,"endTime":2119.546,"body":"your own is to become the catalyst for change in"},{"startTime":2119.5699999999997,"endTime":2122.178,"body":"your marriage. Recognizing and"},{"startTime":2122.2259999999997,"endTime":2124.882,"body":"reversing and transforming negative behavior"},{"startTime":2124.9379999999996,"endTime":2127.9139999999998,"body":"patterns is a crucial step to improve your"},{"startTime":2127.9539999999997,"endTime":2128.614,"body":"marriage."},{"startTime":2130.924,"endTime":2133.716,"body":"there are many relationship behaviors that I"},{"startTime":2133.74,"endTime":2136.46,"body":"talk about in my better relationships"},{"startTime":2136.4919999999997,"endTime":2139.372,"body":"toolkit that I mentioned earlier, but"},{"startTime":2139.428,"endTime":2142.22,"body":"today I'm going to focus on two behaviors."},{"startTime":2142.252,"endTime":2145.124,"body":"Such as today I'm going to focus on"},{"startTime":2145.1639999999998,"endTime":2147.8999999999996,"body":"two behaviors such as clinginess"},{"startTime":2148.0119999999997,"endTime":2150.2439999999997,"body":"or isolation can put a strain on your"},{"startTime":2150.2839999999997,"endTime":2153.124,"body":"relationship. Clinginess may"},{"startTime":2153.1639999999998,"endTime":2156.0519999999997,"body":"lead to feelings of suffocation for your partner,"},{"startTime":2156.1479999999997,"endTime":2158.642,"body":"while isolation, while"},{"startTime":2158.698,"endTime":2161.654,"body":"isolation can result in emotional distance."},{"startTime":2162.354,"endTime":2164.774,"body":"Identifying your patterns,"},{"startTime":2165.234,"endTime":2167.946,"body":"identifying your patterns and working to change"},{"startTime":2168.0099999999998,"endTime":2170.794,"body":"them can go a long way in showing"},{"startTime":2170.834,"endTime":2172.854,"body":"you how to save your marriage alone."},{"startTime":2173.194,"endTime":2176.114,"body":"Participating in personal activities, like I've mentioned"},{"startTime":2176.154,"endTime":2178.7459999999996,"body":"before, that allow you both freedom"},{"startTime":2178.93,"endTime":2181.8979999999997,"body":"to do them on your own or"},{"startTime":2181.946,"endTime":2184.4139999999998,"body":"together is another beneficial behavior."},{"startTime":2185.714,"endTime":2188.586,"body":"This not only provides you with fulfillment, but also"},{"startTime":2188.6499999999996,"endTime":2191.4979999999996,"body":"shows your partner that you value your personal growth as well"},{"startTime":2191.506,"endTime":2192.4539999999997,"body":"as theirs."},{"startTime":2194.9539999999997,"endTime":2197.4539999999997,"body":"Oftentimes the clients I work with,"},{"startTime":2199.5539999999996,"endTime":2202.466,"body":"oftentimes heart centered women are so focused"},{"startTime":2202.49,"endTime":2205.354,"body":"on their relationship that they sometimes lose"},{"startTime":2205.394,"endTime":2206.894,"body":"their identity in"},{"startTime":2207.874,"endTime":2210.33,"body":"participating in their partner's hobbies, or"},{"startTime":2210.3619999999996,"endTime":2212.3059999999996,"body":"participating in their partner's physical"},{"startTime":2212.37,"endTime":2215.1699999999996,"body":"exercises or their professional and"},{"startTime":2215.2019999999998,"endTime":2218.107,"body":"self development. I invite you to have your"},{"startTime":2218.1549999999997,"endTime":2221.091,"body":"own have your own hobbies, that"},{"startTime":2221.187,"endTime":2224.1629999999996,"body":"are activities you love, that can bring you"},{"startTime":2224.2029999999995,"endTime":2226.915,"body":"joy and satisfaction, that make you more emotionally"},{"startTime":2226.939,"endTime":2229.7309999999998,"body":"available. Have your"},{"startTime":2229.787,"endTime":2232.515,"body":"own physical exercise and workouts."},{"startTime":2232.6589999999997,"endTime":2235.0229999999997,"body":"Sure, it's great to do that with your partner,"},{"startTime":2235.363,"endTime":2238.2749999999996,"body":"but it also creates a dependency to do"},{"startTime":2238.2989999999995,"endTime":2241.187,"body":"it only with your partner. Spend time on your own"},{"startTime":2241.2349999999997,"endTime":2244.218,"body":"doing it as well, and engage in your own"},{"startTime":2244.2659999999996,"endTime":2247.234,"body":"professional and self development. Investing"},{"startTime":2247.274,"endTime":2250.1299999999997,"body":"time in career enhancement and self improvement can"},{"startTime":2250.162,"endTime":2252.9219999999996,"body":"boost your self esteem and provide a sense of"},{"startTime":2252.9779999999996,"endTime":2255.6259999999997,"body":"achievement. Also,"},{"startTime":2255.7299999999996,"endTime":2258.49,"body":"working out on your own enhances your own physical and"},{"startTime":2258.522,"endTime":2261.482,"body":"mental health and contributes positively"},{"startTime":2261.5379999999996,"endTime":2263.814,"body":"to your own inner well being."},{"startTime":2264.274,"endTime":2267.1339999999996,"body":"By focusing on personal independence, you become a,"},{"startTime":2267.1,"endTime":2270.084,"body":"more balanced individual which positively impacts"},{"startTime":2270.1079999999997,"endTime":2272.9019999999996,"body":"your marriage and your partner. It will take the"},{"startTime":2272.9419999999996,"endTime":2275.7619999999997,"body":"pressure off of them to"},{"startTime":2276.142,"endTime":2278.9419999999996,"body":"always be concerned about you"},{"startTime":2279.022,"endTime":2281.3659999999995,"body":"and what you're doing and your well being, and vice"},{"startTime":2281.4139999999998,"endTime":2284.3979999999997,"body":"versa. These changes show your"},{"startTime":2284.43,"endTime":2287.162,"body":"partner that you value yourself,"},{"startTime":2287.542,"endTime":2290.526,"body":"which then leads to them valuing you once"},{"startTime":2290.5739999999996,"endTime":2293.158,"body":"again. Do you see how this works?"},{"startTime":2293.35,"endTime":2295.4419999999996,"body":"You are the role model."},{"startTime":2296.062,"endTime":2298.158,"body":"You become the role model with new"},{"startTime":2298.1899999999996,"endTime":2300.832,"body":"behaviors and then"},{"startTime":2300.9519999999998,"endTime":2303.736,"body":"at some point in time, they will start mirroring them back"},{"startTime":2303.7839999999997,"endTime":2306.6479999999997,"body":"to you. Your commitment to personal"},{"startTime":2306.72,"endTime":2309.528,"body":"development and demonstrating how to save your marriage alone"},{"startTime":2309.6,"endTime":2312.3279999999995,"body":"can inspire your partner to make positive changes"},{"startTime":2312.3999999999996,"endTime":2313.372,"body":"as well."},{"startTime":2317.6719999999996,"endTime":2320.272,"body":"9th one and I feel like is one of the most important"},{"startTime":2320.392,"endTime":2321.6519999999996,"body":"ones and"},{"startTime":2323.6719999999996,"endTime":2326.658,"body":"the 9th way is one of the most important"},{"startTime":2326.7699999999995,"endTime":2329.7219999999998,"body":"ones and that is focusing on the positive"},{"startTime":2329.8019999999997,"endTime":2332.6099999999997,"body":"aspects of your relationship and"},{"startTime":2332.6659999999997,"endTime":2335.5939999999996,"body":"of your partner. In the years I"},{"startTime":2335.618,"endTime":2338.2419999999997,"body":"have guided and advised women and"},{"startTime":2338.2819999999997,"endTime":2341.2419999999997,"body":"couples, I have found that when couples are focused on"},{"startTime":2341.2819999999997,"endTime":2343.502,"body":"what is not working in their marriage,"},{"startTime":2343.9219999999996,"endTime":2346.6099999999997,"body":"the solutions they try fail"},{"startTime":2346.7859999999996,"endTime":2349.7459999999996,"body":"every time. Things get better"},{"startTime":2349.794,"endTime":2352.642,"body":"in the short term, but the changes and the habits don't"},{"startTime":2352.682,"endTime":2355.298,"body":"stick. I believe this is because the"},{"startTime":2355.33,"endTime":2357.45,"body":"solutions were created from a problem"},{"startTime":2357.546,"endTime":2360.122,"body":"mindset. Shifting your focus from"},{"startTime":2360.162,"endTime":2363.162,"body":"problems to the positive traits of your partner"},{"startTime":2363.2019999999998,"endTime":2365.7299999999996,"body":"and your relationship can significantly"},{"startTime":2365.8659999999995,"endTime":2368.698,"body":"enhance emotional connection. By"},{"startTime":2368.7299999999996,"endTime":2371.506,"body":"consciously choosing to see and appreciate the good"},{"startTime":2371.5539999999996,"endTime":2373.9379999999996,"body":"qualities you create a more positive"},{"startTime":2374.0099999999998,"endTime":2376.8579999999997,"body":"atmosphere in your marriage. But when"},{"startTime":2376.89,"endTime":2379.3779999999997,"body":"you also come from a positive"},{"startTime":2379.45,"endTime":2382.3279999999995,"body":"space, you can identify solutions that"},{"startTime":2382.3599999999997,"endTime":2385.1839999999997,"body":"you may not have seen when you were in the"},{"startTime":2385.2079999999996,"endTime":2387.0119999999997,"body":"problem focused mindset."},{"startTime":2387.9519999999998,"endTime":2390.3199999999997,"body":"Something else you can do also is create a"},{"startTime":2390.336,"endTime":2393.3279999999995,"body":"gratitude list. It's an effective method to help"},{"startTime":2393.3599999999997,"endTime":2396.216,"body":"with this shift. Start by writing down"},{"startTime":2396.2639999999997,"endTime":2398.888,"body":"three things you appreciate about your partner and your"},{"startTime":2398.9199999999996,"endTime":2401.642,"body":"relationship every day. You can, also put"},{"startTime":2401.682,"endTime":2404.506,"body":"these in a note to them, or share them"},{"startTime":2404.5539999999996,"endTime":2407.484,"body":"with them, or share them"},{"startTime":2407.508,"endTime":2410.3559999999998,"body":"with your partner. Include specific"},{"startTime":2410.444,"endTime":2412.9959999999996,"body":"actions or characteristics that made you feel"},{"startTime":2413.044,"endTime":2415.4599999999996,"body":"loved, seen, heard, or"},{"startTime":2415.5159999999996,"endTime":2417.272,"body":"supported or understood."},{"startTime":2419.6119999999996,"endTime":2422.4039999999995,"body":"And it's important to be very specific, because"},{"startTime":2422.468,"endTime":2425.122,"body":"if you say you did a great job in,"},{"startTime":2427.122,"endTime":2429.8979999999997,"body":"Because if you say you did a great job yesterday with"},{"startTime":2429.93,"endTime":2432.548,"body":"helping me, that does not give your"},{"startTime":2432.58,"endTime":2434.932,"body":"partner the specifics about what was"},{"startTime":2434.9719999999998,"endTime":2437.392,"body":"helpful. Instead, say,"},{"startTime":2438.6519999999996,"endTime":2441.1879999999996,"body":"I noticed how you listened"},{"startTime":2441.2999999999997,"endTime":2444.14,"body":"so attentively to me the other"},{"startTime":2444.196,"endTime":2447.1519999999996,"body":"day, yesterday."},{"startTime":2448.0119999999997,"endTime":2450.232,"body":"And I noticed that you"},{"startTime":2452.0119999999997,"endTime":2454.1919999999996,"body":"made the bed in the guest room"},{"startTime":2454.6519999999996,"endTime":2457.2439999999997,"body":"and put the sheets in the washer and the"},{"startTime":2457.2679999999996,"endTime":2460.214,"body":"dryer in preparation for our, in preparation for"},{"startTime":2460.2459999999996,"endTime":2463.0939999999996,"body":"our guests to come this weekend. I know"},{"startTime":2463.1259999999997,"endTime":2465.9979999999996,"body":"I mentioned that in our conversation as a side"},{"startTime":2466.158,"endTime":2469.0139999999997,"body":"comment that I hadn't had time to get"},{"startTime":2469.046,"endTime":2471.95,"body":"to it yet, and I was delighted when I"},{"startTime":2471.9739999999997,"endTime":2474.854,"body":"got home to see that you had helped with that."},{"startTime":2474.926,"endTime":2477.598,"body":"Thank you so much for doing that. For"},{"startTime":2477.638,"endTime":2480.2219999999998,"body":"me, that is how to be"},{"startTime":2480.2699999999995,"endTime":2482.9379999999996,"body":"specific and how to express gratitude."},{"startTime":2483.888,"endTime":2486.528,"body":"This practice doesn't only alter your"},{"startTime":2486.5679999999998,"endTime":2489.316,"body":"perspective, but it, also cultivates a habit on"},{"startTime":2489.3639999999996,"endTime":2492.2039999999997,"body":"focusing, but also cultivates"},{"startTime":2492.2679999999996,"endTime":2494.5919999999996,"body":"a habit of focusing on the positive."},{"startTime":2495.932,"endTime":2498.6679999999997,"body":"By the way, when you say things in that way,"},{"startTime":2498.74,"endTime":2501.6839999999997,"body":"it actually shifts the energy in your body by"},{"startTime":2501.7479999999996,"endTime":2504.732,"body":"activating the feel good"},{"startTime":2504.812,"endTime":2507.1519999999996,"body":"hormones and neurotransmitters."},{"startTime":2508.5319999999997,"endTime":2511.29,"body":"As you consistently acknowledge"},{"startTime":2511.3459999999995,"endTime":2514.2499999999995,"body":"the positive in your partner and your relationship,"},{"startTime":2514.3059999999996,"endTime":2517.274,"body":"you'll also find it easier to approach conflicts"},{"startTime":2517.4179999999997,"endTime":2519.8259999999996,"body":"with empathy, patience, and even"},{"startTime":2519.9139999999998,"endTime":2520.622,"body":"joy."},{"startTime":2522.642,"endTime":2525.29,"body":"Here are some examples that you could put on a"},{"startTime":2525.3059999999996,"endTime":2528.274,"body":"gratitude list. Your partner's"},{"startTime":2528.298,"endTime":2531.178,"body":"sense of humor that lightens stressful days. The way"},{"startTime":2531.2099999999996,"endTime":2534.1699999999996,"body":"they support your personal goals. Small acts"},{"startTime":2534.1859999999997,"endTime":2536.7819999999997,"body":"of kindness, like making coffee in the morning,"},{"startTime":2537.2419999999997,"endTime":2539.466,"body":"or the way they look at you"},{"startTime":2539.6339999999996,"endTime":2542.506,"body":"briefly and periodically to show they care"},{"startTime":2542.5539999999996,"endTime":2545.29,"body":"about you. Or the way they step"},{"startTime":2545.3459999999995,"endTime":2548.2659999999996,"body":"in when things are getting difficult in a conversation to"},{"startTime":2548.314,"endTime":2551.2019999999998,"body":"support you, or if someone's being"},{"startTime":2551.2419999999997,"endTime":2554.1299999999997,"body":"disrespectful to you, how they step in to"},{"startTime":2554.3059999999996,"endTime":2557.0499999999997,"body":"support you. There's so many different ways that"},{"startTime":2557.1059999999998,"endTime":2558.982,"body":"I feel we don't notice"},{"startTime":2559.642,"endTime":2562.602,"body":"that we can be grateful for in our relationships,"},{"startTime":2562.7219999999998,"endTime":2565.182,"body":"or we notice and we just don't say anything."},{"startTime":2566.7219999999998,"endTime":2569.522,"body":"By emphasizing appreciation and gratitude, you're"},{"startTime":2569.562,"endTime":2572.3819999999996,"body":"able to create a more affectionate and"},{"startTime":2573.122,"endTime":2576.1059999999998,"body":"resilient relationship. You're building"},{"startTime":2576.194,"endTime":2578.1459999999997,"body":"appreciation by expressing"},{"startTime":2578.194,"endTime":2581.0099999999998,"body":"gratitude. So what does that mean? Well, very"},{"startTime":2581.066,"endTime":2583.4739999999997,"body":"much like money, when you invest"},{"startTime":2583.5779999999995,"endTime":2585.9939999999997,"body":"it, it appreciates or it"},{"startTime":2586.0179999999996,"endTime":2588.912,"body":"depreciates, right? Well,"},{"startTime":2589.0319999999997,"endTime":2591.848,"body":"with gratitude. Gratitude"},{"startTime":2591.9199999999996,"endTime":2594.5679999999998,"body":"is a way to express appreciation,"},{"startTime":2594.68,"endTime":2597.12,"body":"and it builds appreciative"},{"startTime":2597.216,"endTime":2600.0319999999997,"body":"energy in your relationship. And"},{"startTime":2600.0719999999997,"endTime":2602.9519999999998,"body":"so it creates appreciation,"},{"startTime":2603.0719999999997,"endTime":2605.7999999999997,"body":"very much like money. But not"},{"startTime":2605.8559999999998,"endTime":2608.5759999999996,"body":"having gratitude depreciates"},{"startTime":2608.6639999999998,"endTime":2611.4239999999995,"body":"very much like money. So"},{"startTime":2611.6079999999997,"endTime":2614.0719999999997,"body":"having gratitude habits"},{"startTime":2614.232,"endTime":2617.1679999999997,"body":"benefits you, but it also inspires reciprocal"},{"startTime":2617.24,"endTime":2619.8639999999996,"body":"appreciation from your partner. Build"},{"startTime":2619.928,"endTime":2622.5559999999996,"body":"gratitude and appreciation into your"},{"startTime":2622.604,"endTime":2625.2279999999996,"body":"regular check ins with your partner."},{"startTime":2625.4199999999996,"endTime":2628.1079999999997,"body":"Make that a habit. Make it a"},{"startTime":2628.14,"endTime":2630.908,"body":"daily habit. The"},{"startTime":2630.9399999999996,"endTime":2633.6679999999997,"body":"10th way to save your marriage alone is to"},{"startTime":2633.7,"endTime":2636.1079999999997,"body":"navigate the ups and downs of saving your"},{"startTime":2636.14,"endTime":2637.872,"body":"marriage. Life,"},{"startTime":2638.4519999999998,"endTime":2641.124,"body":"unfortunately, is not just a constant,"},{"startTime":2641.1879999999996,"endTime":2644.0759999999996,"body":"harmonious party. Right? There are things that"},{"startTime":2644.124,"endTime":2646.1519999999996,"body":"happen that create stress."},{"startTime":2646.7119999999995,"endTime":2649.136,"body":"So recognize that change is a gradual"},{"startTime":2649.1839999999997,"endTime":2651.252,"body":"process. Immediate results"},{"startTime":2651.872,"endTime":2654.6639999999998,"body":"do happen, but for the big stuff,"},{"startTime":2654.7279999999996,"endTime":2657.656,"body":"they're rare. Small, consistent effort"},{"startTime":2657.7439999999997,"endTime":2660.1839999999997,"body":"leads to substantial transformation over"},{"startTime":2660.2479999999996,"endTime":2663.024,"body":"time and change in yourself."},{"startTime":2663.0879999999997,"endTime":2665.332,"body":"And change in your partner takes time."},{"startTime":2666.1919999999996,"endTime":2668.1719999999996,"body":"Here are some key strategies"},{"startTime":2676.8019999999997,"endTime":2679.062,"body":"here are some key strategies"},{"startTime":2679.7219999999998,"endTime":2682.138,"body":"for creating patience and commitment for"},{"startTime":2682.1699999999996,"endTime":2685.002,"body":"yourself. Accept that"},{"startTime":2685.042,"endTime":2686.182,"body":"setbacks"},{"startTime":2687.8419999999996,"endTime":2690.81,"body":"here are some key strategies for"},{"startTime":2690.8659999999995,"endTime":2693.7019999999998,"body":"creating patience and commitment for yourself."},{"startTime":2696.4019999999996,"endTime":2698.9139999999998,"body":"Accept that setbacks are just part of the"},{"startTime":2698.9379999999996,"endTime":2701.636,"body":"process. Understand that not"},{"startTime":2701.6839999999997,"endTime":2704.6119999999996,"body":"everyone understand that"},{"startTime":2704.6519999999996,"endTime":2707.312,"body":"not every step will lead to immediate progress."},{"startTime":2707.852,"endTime":2710.5919999999996,"body":"Instead of feeling discouraged by set breath,"},{"startTime":2711.6519999999996,"endTime":2714.604,"body":"instead of feeling discouraged by setbacks,"},{"startTime":2714.7079999999996,"endTime":2717.392,"body":"view them as opportunities to learn and grow."},{"startTime":2717.892,"endTime":2720.312,"body":"Make note of the positive forward"},{"startTime":2721.932,"endTime":2724.836,"body":"make note of the forwarding or positive behavior"},{"startTime":2724.8839999999996,"endTime":2727.7499999999995,"body":"when you see it. Write it down in a calendar or in"},{"startTime":2727.7659999999996,"endTime":2730.406,"body":"your journal. Because when those ups and downs happen,"},{"startTime":2730.5739999999996,"endTime":2733.4779999999996,"body":"you can remember that they don't happen 100% of your"},{"startTime":2733.5099999999998,"endTime":2736.1899999999996,"body":"time and are not the basis for your"},{"startTime":2736.2459999999996,"endTime":2738.522,"body":"entire relationship with your spouse."},{"startTime":2739.4219999999996,"endTime":2742.3979999999997,"body":"Oftentimes when I work with couples, one or the other will"},{"startTime":2742.43,"endTime":2745.374,"body":"say, you always do this. But is"},{"startTime":2745.3979999999997,"endTime":2747.926,"body":"that really true? Always is an all"},{"startTime":2747.9739999999997,"endTime":2750.774,"body":"encompassing tool. Always means that"},{"startTime":2750.798,"endTime":2753.694,"body":"I'm doing it 24 by 7365"},{"startTime":2753.758,"endTime":2756.3039999999996,"body":"days a year. Consequently, that term"},{"startTime":2756.368,"endTime":2758.872,"body":"always is not true. And that's"},{"startTime":2758.912,"endTime":2761.848,"body":"why we get very defensive when"},{"startTime":2761.8799999999997,"endTime":2764.7439999999997,"body":"we hear the term, you always do this. There are"},{"startTime":2764.7679999999996,"endTime":2767.6479999999997,"body":"lots of other examples of that, so check in for"},{"startTime":2767.68,"endTime":2770.392,"body":"yourself where you're saying things like that."},{"startTime":2770.4719999999998,"endTime":2773.4239999999995,"body":"Because, as I said, setbacks"},{"startTime":2773.448,"endTime":2776.408,"body":"are not 100% of your relationship. They are moments in"},{"startTime":2776.4399999999996,"endTime":2779.3199999999997,"body":"time. And those moments"},{"startTime":2779.3759999999997,"endTime":2781.9019999999996,"body":"in time might be fewer than your"},{"startTime":2781.9419999999996,"endTime":2784.2419999999997,"body":"mind has convinced you they are."},{"startTime":2785.182,"endTime":2788.182,"body":"Another way is to stay focused on long term goals. Keep"},{"startTime":2788.2219999999998,"endTime":2791.158,"body":"your ultimate aim in mind so that you can"},{"startTime":2791.1899999999996,"endTime":2793.8019999999997,"body":"maintain motivation during challenging times."},{"startTime":2794.2619999999997,"endTime":2796.598,"body":"This ties back to the why you want to save your"},{"startTime":2796.6299999999997,"endTime":2799.582,"body":"relationship regularly. Remind yourself why"},{"startTime":2799.622,"endTime":2801.682,"body":"you're committed to this path in choice"},{"startTime":2802.9419999999996,"endTime":2805.6299999999997,"body":"you can also build resilience by developing"},{"startTime":2805.6859999999997,"endTime":2808.4139999999998,"body":"self soothing techniques such as mindfulness or"},{"startTime":2808.4379999999996,"endTime":2811.066,"body":"journaling. Building resilience"},{"startTime":2811.194,"endTime":2813.986,"body":"is not your partner's responsibility."},{"startTime":2814.1139999999996,"endTime":2816.754,"body":"It's your own for yourself and theirs for"},{"startTime":2816.778,"endTime":2819.586,"body":"themselves. Self soothing"},{"startTime":2819.6339999999996,"endTime":2822.2659999999996,"body":"techniques help you manage stress and stay"},{"startTime":2822.314,"endTime":2825.2419999999997,"body":"grounded. Engage"},{"startTime":2825.2819999999997,"endTime":2827.3819999999996,"body":"in continuous self improvement,"},{"startTime":2828.2819999999997,"endTime":2831.258,"body":"taking on activities that promote self growth, such"},{"startTime":2831.29,"endTime":2833.4419999999996,"body":"as reading self help books, attending"},{"startTime":2833.522,"endTime":2836.482,"body":"workshops on relationships"},{"startTime":2836.8219999999997,"endTime":2839.6539999999995,"body":"and communication, or hiring a professional"},{"startTime":2839.718,"endTime":2842.682,"body":"relationship and communication coach like myself"},{"startTime":2843.3019999999997,"endTime":2845.79,"body":"can help you build your own skill"},{"startTime":2845.8459999999995,"endTime":2848.622,"body":"set, help you become stronger in who"},{"startTime":2848.662,"endTime":2851.622,"body":"you are, create boundaries that are"},{"startTime":2851.662,"endTime":2854.2619999999997,"body":"honored and respected, and help you be seen,"},{"startTime":2854.3419999999996,"endTime":2856.4619999999995,"body":"heard, understood, and supported in your"},{"startTime":2856.502,"endTime":2859.3259999999996,"body":"relationships. Here are a few"},{"startTime":2859.374,"endTime":2860.2419999999997,"body":"examples."},{"startTime":2862.022,"endTime":2864.638,"body":"Participate and create and"},{"startTime":2864.7099999999996,"endTime":2867.5339999999997,"body":"do daily affirmations. Start your day"},{"startTime":2867.5579999999995,"endTime":2869.042,"body":"with positive affirmative"},{"startTime":2871.182,"endTime":2873.9579999999996,"body":"start your day with a positive affirmation about your"},{"startTime":2873.99,"endTime":2876.982,"body":"commitment to improving your marriage. Track"},{"startTime":2877.062,"endTime":2879.694,"body":"progress. Keep a journal to document small"},{"startTime":2879.758,"endTime":2881.886,"body":"wins and reflect on areas that need"},{"startTime":2881.9339999999997,"endTime":2884.9339999999997,"body":"improvement. Your tracking is for yourself,"},{"startTime":2885.0379999999996,"endTime":2887.2059999999997,"body":"about you, not about your"},{"startTime":2887.254,"endTime":2889.9579999999996,"body":"partner. But when you do notice"},{"startTime":2890.0299999999997,"endTime":2892.6539999999995,"body":"things and progress from your"},{"startTime":2892.678,"endTime":2895.2299999999996,"body":"partner, those will go in your gratitude"},{"startTime":2895.2859999999996,"endTime":2897.6699999999996,"body":"section that we discussed"},{"startTime":2897.7259999999997,"endTime":2900.3259999999996,"body":"earlier that I covered"},{"startTime":2900.374,"endTime":2903.334,"body":"earlier, and then practice in mindful"},{"startTime":2903.3979999999997,"endTime":2905.2859999999996,"body":"patience. Practicing"},{"startTime":2905.334,"endTime":2907.7499999999995,"body":"mindfulness practicing"},{"startTime":2907.8059999999996,"endTime":2908.682,"body":"mindfulness"},{"startTime":2910.582,"endTime":2913.2619999999997,"body":"practicing mindfulness techniques to stay"},{"startTime":2913.3419999999996,"endTime":2916.0699999999997,"body":"present can reduce frustration during"},{"startTime":2916.1259999999997,"endTime":2918.9999999999995,"body":"difficult moments. Take a deep"},{"startTime":2919.0559999999996,"endTime":2921.7679999999996,"body":"breath if you see yourself getting wound up or wanting to"},{"startTime":2921.7999999999997,"endTime":2924.4719999999998,"body":"interrupt, and then settle back"},{"startTime":2924.5519999999997,"endTime":2927.1719999999996,"body":"into listening and being present."},{"startTime":2928.7119999999995,"endTime":2930.9739999999997,"body":"The path to, saving your marriage alone,"},{"startTime":2931.1659999999997,"endTime":2933.5739999999996,"body":"unfortunately, is filled with some ups and"},{"startTime":2933.6059999999998,"endTime":2936.5499999999997,"body":"downs. But by staying patient and committed"},{"startTime":2936.5739999999996,"endTime":2939.4779999999996,"body":"to the change you want to see and"},{"startTime":2939.5179999999996,"endTime":2941.982,"body":"you want to experience, by becoming a role"},{"startTime":2942.0299999999997,"endTime":2944.968,"body":"model, you create a solid foundation for"},{"startTime":2945.008,"endTime":2947.1479999999997,"body":"lasting marital improvement."},{"startTime":2948.5679999999998,"endTime":2951.4719999999998,"body":"The 11th way to save your marriage alone is"},{"startTime":2951.5199999999995,"endTime":2954.392,"body":"knowing when it's time to involve a third party"},{"startTime":2954.5199999999995,"endTime":2956.7879999999996,"body":"in your marital journey."},{"startTime":2957.368,"endTime":2960.3039999999996,"body":"Identifying the right time to seek professional guidance can"},{"startTime":2960.336,"endTime":2963.296,"body":"be essential in saving your marriage. Not every"},{"startTime":2963.352,"endTime":2965.7599999999998,"body":"issue can be resolved independently. Some"},{"startTime":2965.8239999999996,"endTime":2967.8799999999997,"body":"situations require the expertise of a"},{"startTime":2967.9039999999995,"endTime":2970.716,"body":"relationship, communication and marriage coach"},{"startTime":2970.772,"endTime":2973.1679999999997,"body":"like me, or even couples therapy."},{"startTime":2977.1479999999997,"endTime":2980.124,"body":"Oftentimes when I'm working with couples, they wait"},{"startTime":2980.196,"endTime":2982.8599999999997,"body":"until the last m minute to hire"},{"startTime":2982.9239999999995,"endTime":2985.348,"body":"me. By then, things are so"},{"startTime":2985.468,"endTime":2988.4599999999996,"body":"escalated that it takes quite a bit of time"},{"startTime":2988.524,"endTime":2991.2839999999997,"body":"to unpack everything and get things"},{"startTime":2991.3959999999997,"endTime":2993.6879999999996,"body":"on a more harmonious plane."},{"startTime":2996.758,"endTime":2999.6699999999996,"body":"Engaging early and"},{"startTime":2999.694,"endTime":3001.8579999999997,"body":"seeking professional guidance earlier"},{"startTime":3002.678,"endTime":3004.798,"body":"will help you both build strength in your"},{"startTime":3004.8379999999997,"endTime":3007.3659999999995,"body":"relationship before trust get"},{"startTime":3007.4219999999996,"endTime":3009.99,"body":"broken, before respect gets broken, before the"},{"startTime":3010.0139999999997,"endTime":3012.854,"body":"communication breakdowns create so much"},{"startTime":3012.886,"endTime":3015.8779999999997,"body":"frustration that you both tend to avoid each other"},{"startTime":3015.9579999999996,"endTime":3018.9339999999997,"body":"or other behaviors that are not"},{"startTime":3018.966,"endTime":3020.658,"body":"helpful to your relationship."},{"startTime":3024.4579999999996,"endTime":3027.3379999999997,"body":"Here are some ways to recognize when professional help is"},{"startTime":3027.3779999999997,"endTime":3030.314,"body":"needed. Persistent conflict if"},{"startTime":3030.3459999999995,"endTime":3032.546,"body":"you find that arguments and disagreements are"},{"startTime":3032.562,"endTime":3035.158,"body":"recurring without resolution,"},{"startTime":3035.4979999999996,"endTime":3037.9219999999996,"body":"this might signal the need for a neutral third"},{"startTime":3037.97,"endTime":3040.85,"body":"party. Emotional distance a"},{"startTime":3040.874,"endTime":3043.602,"body":"growing emotional gap between you and your partner"},{"startTime":3043.7699999999995,"endTime":3046.5139999999997,"body":"can benefit from m professional mediation"},{"startTime":3046.586,"endTime":3049.4599999999996,"body":"to rebuild connection communication"},{"startTime":3049.524,"endTime":3052.428,"body":"breakdowns this one is the biggest one and most"},{"startTime":3052.508,"endTime":3055.4039999999995,"body":"common difficulty in conveying thoughts or"},{"startTime":3055.4359999999997,"endTime":3058.22,"body":"feelings without getting emotionally upset,"},{"startTime":3058.2839999999997,"endTime":3061.18,"body":"without getting angry, without interrupting,"},{"startTime":3061.2439999999997,"endTime":3064.156,"body":"etcetera, often requires trained"},{"startTime":3064.252,"endTime":3066.9239999999995,"body":"techniques provided by"},{"startTime":3066.9559999999997,"endTime":3069.7639999999997,"body":"professionals. This actually is one of my"},{"startTime":3069.796,"endTime":3072.62,"body":"superpowers. Communication how"},{"startTime":3072.644,"endTime":3075.368,"body":"to say it, how to hear it, how to be"},{"startTime":3075.408,"endTime":3077.9759999999997,"body":"seen, heard, understood"},{"startTime":3078.1519999999996,"endTime":3080.6,"body":"and supported. And facilitating"},{"startTime":3080.6639999999998,"endTime":3083.4399999999996,"body":"conversations with the with the"},{"startTime":3083.464,"endTime":3085.5879999999997,"body":"commitment to both you and your partner"},{"startTime":3086.2879999999996,"endTime":3089.064,"body":"and helping you save your marriage alone is my"},{"startTime":3089.0959999999995,"endTime":3090.028,"body":"superpower."},{"startTime":3091.968,"endTime":3094.8579999999997,"body":"A, fourth one is when there's infidelity or betrayal"},{"startTime":3094.93,"endTime":3097.542,"body":"or trust or respect is broken"},{"startTime":3098.002,"endTime":3100.794,"body":"and engaging in professional"},{"startTime":3100.8579999999997,"endTime":3103.81,"body":"help as soon as you notice it, instead of waiting"},{"startTime":3103.946,"endTime":3106.182,"body":"to see if things are going to get better or"},{"startTime":3108.162,"endTime":3110.354,"body":"doing things to make things better,"},{"startTime":3110.5379999999996,"endTime":3112.7419999999997,"body":"but it's not changing."},{"startTime":3113.3619999999996,"endTime":3115.8819999999996,"body":"Navigating trust and respect issues stemming from"},{"startTime":3115.9219999999996,"endTime":3118.6739999999995,"body":"infidelity or lying can be"},{"startTime":3118.698,"endTime":3121.6099999999997,"body":"complex and may necessitate expert"},{"startTime":3121.6659999999997,"endTime":3124.5379999999996,"body":"advice. Here are the benefits"},{"startTime":3124.5699999999997,"endTime":3126.982,"body":"of consulting a relationship coach. Like"},{"startTime":3129.2419999999997,"endTime":3132.0579999999995,"body":"objective perspective, a relationship coach"},{"startTime":3132.1299999999997,"endTime":3135.098,"body":"offers an unbiased viewpoint, helping both of you"},{"startTime":3135.1299999999997,"endTime":3137.2419999999997,"body":"see the situation more clearly."},{"startTime":3138.982,"endTime":3141.8019999999997,"body":"They also coaching also"},{"startTime":3142.9019999999996,"endTime":3144.9219999999996,"body":"coaching is also about forward"},{"startTime":3145.4619999999995,"endTime":3148.2299999999996,"body":"momentum. It's not"},{"startTime":3148.2859999999996,"endTime":3151.142,"body":"about drilling up the past and"},{"startTime":3151.182,"endTime":3154.062,"body":"focusing on all the behaviors that happened in the past"},{"startTime":3154.142,"endTime":3157.0539999999996,"body":"and why they happened and what's wrong"},{"startTime":3157.118,"endTime":3160.082,"body":"with the behaviors. And you get my point."},{"startTime":3160.582,"endTime":3163.2279999999996,"body":"Coaching is about the present"},{"startTime":3163.2999999999997,"endTime":3166.2999999999997,"body":"moment and creating a result that you want to see in"},{"startTime":3166.316,"endTime":3169.1479999999997,"body":"the future. That is what coaching is."},{"startTime":3169.3399999999997,"endTime":3172.1479999999997,"body":"It also isn't so much about telling you what to"},{"startTime":3172.18,"endTime":3174.988,"body":"do, it's about guiding you to"},{"startTime":3175.0199999999995,"endTime":3177.084,"body":"the answers from within"},{"startTime":3177.1879999999996,"endTime":3179.8439999999996,"body":"yourself around what your needs,"},{"startTime":3179.908,"endTime":3182.14,"body":"desires, drives, goals, ambitions"},{"startTime":3182.276,"endTime":3184.5519999999997,"body":"and results are"},{"startTime":3185.0919999999996,"endTime":3187.894,"body":"that you want, as"},{"startTime":3187.9179999999997,"endTime":3190.562,"body":"opposed to a person telling you what they should be."},{"startTime":3192.7819999999997,"endTime":3195.5099999999998,"body":"Coaching is also about working with both of you as"},{"startTime":3195.566,"endTime":3198.4779999999996,"body":"individuals and together. As"},{"startTime":3198.5099999999998,"endTime":3201.2419999999997,"body":"the third entity called the relationship,"},{"startTime":3202.582,"endTime":3205.3219999999997,"body":"coaching also provides tailored strategies"},{"startTime":3205.662,"endTime":3208.3259999999996,"body":"that are customized to address your"},{"startTime":3208.374,"endTime":3210.798,"body":"unique relationship needs as an"},{"startTime":3210.83,"endTime":3213.548,"body":"individual and if needed,"},{"startTime":3213.6699999999996,"endTime":3215.292,"body":"when needed, as a couple."},{"startTime":3216.752,"endTime":3219.3279999999995,"body":"It also provides skill development."},{"startTime":3219.4799999999996,"endTime":3222.2239999999997,"body":"Relationship coaches teach effective communication"},{"startTime":3222.2879999999996,"endTime":3225.1919999999996,"body":"and conflict resolution skills that you can"},{"startTime":3225.232,"endTime":3227.624,"body":"apply long term, not just in your intimate"},{"startTime":3227.6879999999996,"endTime":3229.6159999999995,"body":"relationship, but really all your"},{"startTime":3229.6639999999998,"endTime":3232.3439999999996,"body":"relationships. They also hold a"},{"startTime":3232.368,"endTime":3235.2079999999996,"body":"very safe space and create an environment and"},{"startTime":3235.24,"endTime":3237.296,"body":"container for open"},{"startTime":3237.3839999999996,"endTime":3239.4419999999996,"body":"expression. M"},{"startTime":3243.682,"endTime":3245.9419999999996,"body":"really skilled coaches"},{"startTime":3246.4019999999996,"endTime":3249.3059999999996,"body":"create a safe environment where both you and your partner"},{"startTime":3249.354,"endTime":3252.082,"body":"can express your feelings openly without fear of"},{"startTime":3252.122,"endTime":3254.7419999999997,"body":"judgment or criticism."},{"startTime":3255.2819999999997,"endTime":3257.7819999999997,"body":"Coaching also focuses on solutions,"},{"startTime":3258.9619999999995,"endTime":3261.506,"body":"unlike personal attempts that you have made"},{"startTime":3261.5539999999996,"endTime":3264.5539999999996,"body":"previously that may have worked for a"},{"startTime":3264.5779999999995,"endTime":3267.4979999999996,"body":"while but then didn't. A ah relationship coach"},{"startTime":3267.5699999999997,"endTime":3270.3619999999996,"body":"guides you towards actionable solutions"},{"startTime":3270.9019999999996,"endTime":3273.8379999999997,"body":"rather than just discussing problems and focusing"},{"startTime":3273.87,"endTime":3276.8219999999997,"body":"on the past. And that's why coaching is a very"},{"startTime":3276.9019999999996,"endTime":3279.602,"body":"popular option for"},{"startTime":3279.982,"endTime":3282.886,"body":"working on a marriage or working on a relationship"},{"startTime":3282.9339999999997,"endTime":3285.718,"body":"or even working on yourself for building"},{"startTime":3285.79,"endTime":3288.7019999999998,"body":"relationship skills. Couples coaching"},{"startTime":3288.7419999999997,"endTime":3291.7099999999996,"body":"serves as a valuable resource when individual efforts"},{"startTime":3291.8059999999996,"endTime":3294.8059999999996,"body":"have been insufficient and it offers a structured"},{"startTime":3294.854,"endTime":3297.6699999999996,"body":"support. And it offers structure,"},{"startTime":3297.7259999999997,"endTime":3300.4539999999997,"body":"support and practical tools to create marital"},{"startTime":3300.5179999999996,"endTime":3301.3219999999997,"body":"healing."},{"startTime":3305.7819999999997,"endTime":3308.622,"body":"My relationship success system is"},{"startTime":3308.7019999999998,"endTime":3310.562,"body":"my structure for"},{"startTime":3310.982,"endTime":3313.7499999999995,"body":"helping women like"},{"startTime":3313.8059999999996,"endTime":3316.734,"body":"you and your partners"},{"startTime":3316.8779999999997,"endTime":3319.522,"body":"and couples in building"},{"startTime":3321.0319999999997,"endTime":3323.528,"body":"loving, supportive"},{"startTime":3323.6,"endTime":3326.448,"body":"relationships. And my success system"},{"startTime":3326.5199999999995,"endTime":3329.1839999999997,"body":"includes communication tools, interaction"},{"startTime":3329.2479999999996,"endTime":3332.1119999999996,"body":"tools, shared interest"},{"startTime":3332.1919999999996,"endTime":3334.9719999999998,"body":"tools, and so much more than that."},{"startTime":3335.5119999999997,"endTime":3338.1679999999997,"body":"I also cover relationship behaviors,"},{"startTime":3338.3199999999997,"endTime":3341.0559999999996,"body":"why we behave the way we do and"},{"startTime":3341.144,"endTime":3344.0319999999997,"body":"how you have choice in the matter, which is contrary"},{"startTime":3344.0719999999997,"endTime":3347.048,"body":"to popular belief, we do have choice in how we"},{"startTime":3347.08,"endTime":3350.04,"body":"behave. You can learn more about"},{"startTime":3350.136,"endTime":3352.9359999999997,"body":"my relationship system in the toolkit that I mentioned"},{"startTime":3352.984,"endTime":3354.892,"body":"earlier, or"},{"startTime":3355.792,"endTime":3358.504,"body":"book a session with me. Let's talk and"},{"startTime":3358.5679999999998,"endTime":3361.5359999999996,"body":"let's walk you through my relationship success system"},{"startTime":3361.7039999999997,"endTime":3364.5679999999998,"body":"and see if you would like to work"},{"startTime":3364.6,"endTime":3367.6,"body":"on self development and building relationship skills with me. I"},{"startTime":3367.6159999999995,"endTime":3370.1679999999997,"body":"would love to meet you and connect with you and be of"},{"startTime":3370.2,"endTime":3373.1519999999996,"body":"service. Finally,"},{"startTime":3373.232,"endTime":3376.0319999999997,"body":"taking action towards healing your relationship on"},{"startTime":3376.0719999999997,"endTime":3378.504,"body":"your own can be very"},{"startTime":3378.6079999999997,"endTime":3381.5519999999997,"body":"empowering and inspiring. By"},{"startTime":3381.5919999999996,"endTime":3384.3999999999996,"body":"focusing on yourself, your own self care,"},{"startTime":3384.5759999999996,"endTime":3387.368,"body":"improving your own communication, and nurturing"},{"startTime":3387.4399999999996,"endTime":3390.3439999999996,"body":"intimacy for yourself, you create the"},{"startTime":3390.368,"endTime":3393.336,"body":"foundation for positive change and that puts you"},{"startTime":3393.3839999999996,"endTime":3396.16,"body":"in control of yourself in a"},{"startTime":3396.176,"endTime":3398.752,"body":"healthy way. Instead of deferring that"},{"startTime":3398.872,"endTime":3401.7679999999996,"body":"responsibility to your partner or to the"},{"startTime":3401.7999999999997,"endTime":3404.638,"body":"relationship, it also removes"},{"startTime":3404.7499999999995,"endTime":3407.4379999999996,"body":"expectations. I"},{"startTime":3407.47,"endTime":3410.3019999999997,"body":"believe that expectations are created in our"},{"startTime":3410.3419999999996,"endTime":3412.8619999999996,"body":"minds where we see this"},{"startTime":3412.9419999999996,"endTime":3415.9419999999996,"body":"ideal way of being or this ideal"},{"startTime":3416.022,"endTime":3418.9419999999996,"body":"thing that we want from our partner. And"},{"startTime":3418.982,"endTime":3421.638,"body":"when that ideal thing doesn't show up"},{"startTime":3421.7499999999995,"endTime":3424.638,"body":"in the reality of our experience, that's where the"},{"startTime":3424.6699999999996,"endTime":3427.2619999999997,"body":"upset happens. And"},{"startTime":3427.3019999999997,"endTime":3430.182,"body":"so part of my relationship success system,"},{"startTime":3430.2619999999997,"endTime":3431.8219999999997,"body":"well help you"},{"startTime":3433.042,"endTime":3435.834,"body":"work with your expectations and that ideal"},{"startTime":3435.9379999999996,"endTime":3438.9139999999998,"body":"and how to actually bring that into the"},{"startTime":3438.9379999999996,"endTime":3441.542,"body":"real world, actually making it happen."},{"startTime":3443.482,"endTime":3446.194,"body":"When you embrace personal growth, when you"},{"startTime":3446.218,"endTime":3449.122,"body":"reverse negative behaviors and emphasize"},{"startTime":3449.162,"endTime":3451.562,"body":"the positive aspects of your"},{"startTime":3451.602,"endTime":3454.5939999999996,"body":"partner, you will create a"},{"startTime":3454.618,"endTime":3455.9419999999996,"body":"better relationship."},{"startTime":3457.412,"endTime":3459.9519999999998,"body":"I want you to embrace your personal growth"},{"startTime":3460.5319999999997,"endTime":3463.4759999999997,"body":"and also remember that it takes a tremendous"},{"startTime":3463.524,"endTime":3466.292,"body":"amount of patience and consistent"},{"startTime":3466.372,"endTime":3469.2439999999997,"body":"effort. It also takes"},{"startTime":3469.428,"endTime":3472.332,"body":"being understanding and supportive and"},{"startTime":3472.372,"endTime":3475.3239999999996,"body":"forgiving of yourself. When you're trying to make the"},{"startTime":3475.348,"endTime":3478.1639999999998,"body":"positive changes in yourself and the old habits"},{"startTime":3478.3079999999995,"endTime":3481.1479999999997,"body":"sneak in, all you need to do is"},{"startTime":3481.18,"endTime":3484.0959999999995,"body":"acknowledge, oops, I did it again or oop, there's"},{"startTime":3484.136,"endTime":3486.9759999999997,"body":"that past behavior, we don't want you anymore. I'm"},{"startTime":3487.0159999999996,"endTime":3489.4759999999997,"body":"doing this instead. And then do that thing"},{"startTime":3489.8959999999997,"endTime":3492.888,"body":"so that you can reprogram your body and your mind for the"},{"startTime":3492.912,"endTime":3493.9159999999997,"body":"new behavior."},{"startTime":3496.216,"endTime":3499.048,"body":"Use these tips for healing your relationship individually"},{"startTime":3499.1119999999996,"endTime":3501.9919999999997,"body":"as a guide and take actionable steps towards being"},{"startTime":3502.024,"endTime":3504.752,"body":"a stand for your marriage alone. Your"},{"startTime":3504.7839999999997,"endTime":3506.6719999999996,"body":"commitment can pave the way for mutual"},{"startTime":3506.7439999999997,"endTime":3509.584,"body":"reconciliation by being a role model."},{"startTime":3509.7599999999998,"endTime":3512.4159999999997,"body":"And if needed, please don't hesitate to seek"},{"startTime":3512.4559999999997,"endTime":3515.352,"body":"professional help. I am here for you."},{"startTime":3515.464,"endTime":3517.9359999999997,"body":"Schedule a, discovery session with me, and let's"},{"startTime":3517.984,"endTime":3520.5679999999998,"body":"talk. Let's see if we're a fit for each"},{"startTime":3520.6,"endTime":3521.1719999999996,"body":"other."},{"startTime":3527.1119999999996,"endTime":3529.7439999999997,"body":"Thank you for listening, and I look forward to meeting"},{"startTime":3529.8079999999995,"endTime":3531.5919999999996,"body":"you in the next podcast."}]}