From Ballet To Broadcasting Ft. Lindsey - Ep.176

Special thanks to Lindsey for being a part of this episode of Unattainable Podcast Show 

We trace Lindsay’s leap from pre-professional ballet to broadcast ambitions, and how heartbreak, campus life, and tough boundaries reshaped her view of love, loyalty and growth. Raw takes on cheating, double standards, money, and social media guide a practical playbook for modern dating.

• leaving ballet to protect mental health and identity
• adapting to SDSU after homeschool and a breakup
• how to heal without rebound habits
• defining emotional vs physical cheating and gray zones
• setting digital boundaries on likes, DMs and thirst traps
• money, ambition and expectations for long-term partners
• body count math vs double standards and context
• forgiveness, second chances and trust repair
• first-date paying as a signal of intent
• college ROI, real-world skills and career goals

• Glad to have you with us and hope you continue to be a part of our family for the foreseeable future
• And if so, please hit that subscribe button

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Transcript

Meet Lindsay: From Ballet To SDSU

SPEAKER_02 0:00

My name's Lindsay Belski. I always wanted to do ballet. I did acting, I did kind of all that. So I kind of had to make the decision of like, do I want to keep doing dance and like see where this takes my mental health, or do I want to go and discover myself in a different way? He like basically was talking to or not with, I don't know, with my like best friend at the time. Truly, when people say it, it sounds corny, but literally focus on yourself and think about what you're gonna do to grow and improve yourself for your next relationship. Why would you wanna be with somebody that like it's not gonna work with or it's not meant to be if you're fighting all the time or if they're not loyal to you? I found out he did something like really gross. Like I think he like got with like six girls in Kava or something wild, and I literally grabbed the picture board and I smashed it. Come with me. We're going right now, and I'd storm up and be like, bitch, I wanna marry somebody that at the point we're getting married is financially secure. Three days after he came to meet my parents. I think we hold women to a very different standard than men than when it comes to that stuff. When you hear a high body count from a man versus a woman, very different reactions. I can forgive them for what they did. Well, you're gonna be friends with benefits with the guy that lives next to you at your at the dorm. Those traditional ways or certain things can make a woman feel empowered. Why would I be wasting my time with a guy that's like, oh, let's split it on the first date? Like, you can't even pay for one meal for me to like impress.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Welcome to Unattainable. Glad to have you with us and hope you continue to be a part of our family for the foreseeable future. And if so, please hit that subscribe button. I am Mohammed Mulai here with our newest and latest guest. Lindsay, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:35

I'm good. It was a long, very long drive to get here today. The traffic was terrible.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Drove all the way from San Diego. Yeah. Um, first and foremost, introduce yourself, where you're from, how old you are, and what you do, so on and so forth. And then just pull that mic in front of you. A little better. A little bit more. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Okay. Um, my name's Lindsay Belski. I'm 22. I'm from like Westlake, Calabasas area. Um, I go to San Diego State University now. I used to be a full-time pre-professional ballet dancer, and now I'm kind of more in the entertainment journalism field, which I'm pursuing along with social media. And yeah, I'm very happy to be here. I'm going into my final semester of college, which is insane. But yeah. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

You're getting your bachelor's in journalism?

SPEAKER_02 2:22

I'm doing communications and journalism.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Got it. Okay. And how did you go from you said you were doing ballet? Yeah. And how old were you when you started doing ballet?

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Two.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

And who put you in ballet?

SPEAKER_02 2:35

My parents. Like I kind of they always let me try kind of everything, but I always wanted to do ballet. I did acting, I did kind of all that, and I was always into the ballet.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Got it. So you started doing ballet at two, and where did that take you? What's that history like?

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Yeah, so basically I grew up, you know, with a very, very good, close family, great friends, good area. And I was always very, very passionate about dance. And I was in in my dance studio for years. I kind of got moved into the pre-professional dance program. I was traveling every summer to different, um

Ballet Identity And Mental Health

SPEAKER_02 3:10

to different places like Miami. I did Miami City ballet, I did the Joffrey ballet. So I was studying all these different places. It was my whole life. I was consumed by it. And I think it affected my mental health like so much to the point where I was so consumed by dance that that was like my only identity, you know? And so when I was growing up, I grew up very, very innocent, like very, very like PG. All my friends were very PG. I was not exposed to much. And it wasn't my parents, it was just kind of like the environment that I put myself in and that I enjoyed, you know? So that's kind of was like for going on for so long. And then when I was older, I kind of was like feeling trapped almost in myself. I was like 17 at this point.

SPEAKER_04 3:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Where I was kind of like, I was like, oh my God, like I haven't even kissed a boy yet. Like I haven't even done normal life experience things. And I was like, holy shit, I need to grow up. And so I felt like I kind of went in this jump and tried to grow up so fast to the point where I was like, oh my God, like who am I? And so I kind of had to make the decision of like, do I want to keep doing dance and like see where this takes my mental health, or do I want to go and discover myself in a different way? So I was gonna go to um NYU actually and move to New York. And I was like, you know what? Like, I need to have a traditional college experience. I need to stay close to home right now and like figure out myself. And then I went to SDSU and I've like grown into a completely different person now. So that's my journey.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Do you still dance?

SPEAKER_02 4:34

I do occasionally, and I'm really trying to get more back into it, just in like a healthy recreational way instead of this like toxic thing that was constantly something that was weighing on me and I felt like I'll never be good enough at, you know? So it was just like a cycle of I feel good today, and then tomorrow I feel like shit. And it was just like, when is this gonna end? Like if I this becomes my career, then I'm struggling to make money for years because it's so hard to make money and dance. I'm like, it's not a secure job. I have so many other assets and abilities of myself that I wanted to explore that I felt like I almost couldn't let myself because I'm like, well, I have to put all my eggs in this basket.

SPEAKER_04 5:13

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

And I'm glad that I didn't. And like realizing that now, if I told my 14-year-old self this, she would be like, Oh, you're fucking crazy. But I'm happy with it now.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Got it. So you apply to college and that's at that point you're 18. Yeah. Okay. And then when do you decide on your major?

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Um, kind of like when I was applying, because I wasn't really sure exactly about what I wanted to do. I knew that I always liked public speaking. I liked being on camera, I liked attention. Like that was kind of like always the realm that I was in. And so I wanted to go into something that involved more and involved something a little bit lighter, but also exciting and like I don't know. It was something that I felt drawn to. And so when I went into communications, I was like, well, I like social media, I like broadcast, I like all that stuff. So how can I kind of like explore that in this major long story short, I like run our schools, media, and I do all that, and I'm kind of like kind of figuring out where I want to go from here, like entertainment broadcasting and all that stuff. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

So essentially you want to work for a news outlet, yeah. Or some sort of a medium that's yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

I'm looking into like iHeart, the Hollywood Reporter, some of those companies seem very, very aligned with what I would want to do. So cool.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

Nice, good for you.

Choosing College And New Paths

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Um what is your relationship status?

SPEAKER_02 6:43

I have a boyfriend. We've been dating for two years, which is insane. Um why is it insane? I had just never thought that I would be in a relationship for like that long, to be honest, let alone like in college, because I was like, I don't know, I was just never really liked most of the men at my school, and I did not think I'll be dating somebody like in college, you know? So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

How many relationships have you been in?

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Like real relationships, like two, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Um, I know I had a boyfriend in high school.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Starting 17.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

I was 17, yeah. I had like a little thing before him, but then it was like I dated this guy for like a year. Not a very high point in my life. I just think he um he had a lot of issues, and I wasn't fully like I was I was going in a hard, I was in a hard place too, and he was just kind of a loser, and just not some, and like his friends were, and it was just like I went to college and like he wasn't going to college, like he was not somebody, like my parents did not like him. He was not somebody that I wanted to, and so when I left for college, I didn't know, but that was the last day I've ever seen him. Like he um, I never thought I would like speak about this. Um, but he like basically was talking to or got with, I don't know, with my like best friend at the time when I like went to college. And like I found all that out and I was just a mess. And like, let alone I knew nobody at my school. I was homeschooled for all of high school. I don't know if I mentioned that, because I was so in into ballet and it was my whole life. I was dancing every day from like one to nine. So I did like a hybrid independent school program. A lot of um Disney kids went there. Um, a lot of like actors, athletes, dancers, and they all go there to um, you know, pursue what they're doing. So I was able to do that school program, which was very fun and cool at the time. But then when I was going into a big school like SDSU, it was like a whole culture shock. Like I never was like around boys all the time, like the girls were different. Like, I really had a hard time with my like girl relationships at first and like the people I was choosing to surround myself with. Like, you don't realize if you're not coming from like a normal high school environment, you know?

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um how did you find out that him and your best friend were talking?

SPEAKER_02 9:16

So I remember it was like it was so it's so like vague, it's like barely in my brain. But I what I remember, it was like one of his friends that texted me and told me. And it was like on my birthday because he was like supposed to come and visit me. Um, and I was just like a mess. And like I knew that I didn't want to be in that relationship, and I knew that like I was like, what the fuck am I doing? But it was just the idea of how it happened, it made me feel so like horrible about myself. And then I think I kind of went in the place where I was like, I don't know, like seeking validation in other ways from that until I realized I was like, I need to like figure out myself and who I am and what I want. And then that's what I feel like kind of brought me into the relationship I am now. Like, I don't know, he he's such like an amazing, inspiring like person. He's he's so well-rounded and amazing. Like, if I could just tell my younger self, like, dude, smart up, like, please stop hanging around these kind of boys. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Did you ever confront your best friend at the time?

SPEAKER_02 10:19

No.

Early Relationships And Homeschool Life

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Well, yes, but she was like, they were very, she was very, very mean to me. Like, horrible words, horrible things were said. I think that I was, I was kind of, I was always a person that I always had to work on this. Is I was like a people pleaser. I was always very, very nice to everyone. I didn't want to step on people's toes, upset anyone. Non-confrontational, very non-confrontational. And I think that hurt me so much in my past.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

Cause I kind of let people walk all over me. And I realized when I was looking back, I was like, oh my God, this is why they were such assholes to me after. Because they're like, oh, she'll take it, you know? And it kind of taught me to not be like that anymore. And in a small way, I'm kind of glad it happened to me because it gave me so much growth. And like I look back and it doesn't even feel like that was me or my life or like me as a person, you know? And like for a while, it would like be like his friends and people like messing with me, no caller ID calls, like the most high school shit ever. Oh wow, you know, like it for a while, and then it kind of like just dwindled off. Like for a bit, I was like, like freaked out. I was like, oh my god, like I would be get a phone call and I'd like jump because like it was just like it was so messy that it was just like I'm like, what is this? Like, this is the dumbest like thing ever.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Yeah, yeah. Just people who are who have nothing better to do sitting around and they're bored, like I'm in college, like now, like go do something with your life. Sure. Okay, so you you guys break up and then you go to college, and at this point you're single. Yeah. Did you date anybody else in between up until you met your current boyfriend?

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Um, like situationships, you know, like little flings that would go on for like two months, stuff like that. I think I kind of started off with like the fratty asshole dudes, you know what I mean? Just like whatever, and like I kind of was like, oh my god, these are really dumb guys, like half of the kids at our school. Um, so yeah, I think I definitely started off like also very curious because I never like when I started dating my boyfriend in high school, I never really had much previous like experience with anything. So I came to college and I was like, oh my god, like boys like me, or like things like this. Like I just never really thought in that way, like going to parties and all that stuff. So it was like, yeah, I definitely like had some like flings in between and then led to leading meeting my boyfriend, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Nice. Um how do you get over a breakup?

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Oh, that's a that's a question and a half, because I don't know. But but um, I think for me, I I literally like also all always wish I could tell my younger self this. Like, truly when people say it, it sounds corny, but literally focus on yourself and think about what you're gonna do to grow and improve yourself for your next relationship. Because when you're sitting there and you're, you know, trying to sometimes people are like, oh, you need to get under him to get over him, whatever. I fully don't, I don't fully see that. Like, especially with my friends and stuff, like when they're hurt by a guy and then they just start going to go talk to another guy or whatever, they're still thinking about that guy and it's not helping them at all. Like they're just they're still just as butthurt, and then they're probably butthurt about the other guy too.

SPEAKER_04 13:33

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

You know what I mean? So I feel like it's like really, really just coming with this piece with yourself and realizing

Betrayal, Culture Shock, And Rebuilding

SPEAKER_02 13:40

that like they're the breakup is for a reason. Like if you broke up with that person and it wasn't meant to be, like, why would you want to be with somebody that like it's not gonna work with or it's not meant to be if you're fighting all the time or if they're not loyal to you, or if they're making you feel less than you are, why would you stay in a relationship like that? Really, really think that to yourself instead of sitting there and feeling bad for yourself? Think, thank God this happened, because now this is opening up so many more doors for my future. And that's how I like to think of it. Obviously, it's easier said than done, but obviously, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

I mean, everybody's experiences are different, so so everybody sort of reacts to also emotions differently. Um Do you think that women should submit to their men in a relationship?

SPEAKER_02 14:32

That's a good question. I I think it kind of depends on the relationship dynamic and what their person is seeking and the kind of person that they're dating. There's some girls that like to date more masculine guys that will kind of do everything for them, whatever. But there's also girls that are more masculine girls, they take on that role. So their relationship is not gonna work if they're with a guy like that. You know what I mean? So I feel like it's like it kind of depends on the woman and what they want. Some people like that. I like that sometimes. Like sometimes I like to turn my brain off and just let him do everything. Like, I don't want to think about it. But if I have an opinion, like I'm gonna stand up and say what I feel, and he should listen to and respect that, in my opinion. And I think that a relationship with a masculine personality energy female and a masculine energy male, you're just gonna clash, you know?

SPEAKER_00 15:26

Sure. Do you think you're more submissive or dominant?

SPEAKER_02 15:31

I think it kind of depends. When I want things or are you in the middle? I'm in the middle, because when I want things like done for me, or like I don't know, if I'm like, oh, like, can you please do this? Like, whatever, then I'll be like all submissive. But then if I want something or like I have an opinion, like I will, or like, and I'm a big planner. Like, like a lot of people will be like, oh, like I want my boyfriend to plan my dates, which don't get me wrong, I love that. But sometimes I love to be like, okay, we're doing this and we're doing this and we're doing this because I know what I like the best.

SPEAKER_04 16:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

That's like some people are like, really? I'm like, oh, I love picking the restaurant sometimes. I'm like, please let me choose. I'm the best at it. And that's just sometimes how I am. And some people will be like, oh, I wouldn't like that. I'm like, I I that's how I am in those certain ways, you know?

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Sure, sure. Does hype matter?

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Mm-mm. I mean, no. I mean, they can't be like two inches taller than me. Like, it gotta be a little bit more than that.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

So as long as they're they can or cannot.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Cannot. Like it's gotta be like at least like 5'8, I feel like, you know, because I'm five four and a half, five. Like I'm five, six, five, seven's a little short. But no, I think like I think like face matters more, in my opinion. Like features.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

But I mean, it sounds like height matters too, because okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

I guess you're right. Height matters slightly, but they don't have to be like six foot five.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

Got it. You know what I mean? So height matters to a certain extent as long as they're taller than you, to a certain extent.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Exactly. And then there's like conditions on this.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Sure. And you're saying face matters.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Yeah, like face card.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Okay. And they have to be what? What w what what ethnicity is your current boyfriend? He's he's white, yeah. Uh and then so when you say face matters, they just have to be symmetrical and yeah, like I have to be attracted to like their face.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

I don't know. Some girls will really just not care what their face looks like as long as they're tall. I don't like no. Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Uh-huh. You have standards.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

I like, yeah. I'm like, I love like bright eyes, like I love that, like prominent features. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

You have a type. Yeah, I think I do. I think I do. Um, have you ever been cheated on?

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Yeah, like in high school, like with that thing. By that guy. But yeah, basically just that.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

But that but with your best friend, is that the only time? Mm-hmm. I think so. Did that affect you? As long as I know of. Did that ever did that ever affect you um that you now think to yourself part of that trauma has followed you f into your adulthood?

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Yeah. I think I think I dealt with that a lot like after it with like situationships and all that little stuff, with I was always the person that was like the anxiously attached one, always the one that was a little bit more nervous because of how I've been hurt. But I think now I've kind of dealt with that a lot more to where I'm a lot more, and I think it's the person that I'm with, like makes me feel very secure. Um, so like there

Dating In College And Healing After Breakups

SPEAKER_02 18:30

would be such a difference. If I was with somebody that didn't make me feel, I'd probably be that crazy bitch.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

But what's the craziest thing you've ever done?

SPEAKER_02 18:38

One time, I don't I've done like I I've done like smashing things. So um one time oh no, well, first of one of them was um when I was like talking to this guy and I found out he did something like really gross. Like I think he like got with like six girls in Kava or something wild.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

And so he's like asking me for his water bottle back, and I'm like in my dorm, and I just smash his freaking hydro flask like to the max, and I handed it back to them after. Um, when I was when I first started dating my boyfriend, he had this like picture board, you know, those things that like swipe through different photos, yeah. Like automatically. Well, he didn't change certain ones, and I guess. And there was this girl that like I've met before, and like I never knew about it. It's like them like kissing, and I literally grabbed the picture board and I smashed it.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

This was with your current boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Yeah, but I bought him a new one.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

So what did he say when you did that?

SPEAKER_02 19:39

He thought it was crazy, like he literally thought and like he only knew me for like a month and a half.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

But I don't know, he kind of got over it really quickly. I don't really know how, but he did.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Sounds like he's been experienced in that area.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Yeah, probably. But yeah, he was like, he was like shocked. He was like, what the fuck is she doing?

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

But I think he was more shocked than Matt. I think he was more like, really?

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Do you struggle with uh impulse control?

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Yeah, a little bit. I think I'm impulsive sometimes. Just like I make rash decisions very quickly. Yeah. Which is not always good. But it's weird because I have a lot of trouble making decisions, like for when it's like the dumbest shit, like where what I want to eat. But then when it comes to making like big decisions, sometimes I'm so rash. I'm just like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

What's an example of that?

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Like, I'm trying to think of something because like I do, I do it a lot. Um trying to think of like something that is like I I think like little things, like picking classes for like school. I would like, I'll be like, all right, those look good. I'll like check it once, sign up, and then it's like three days before, and I'm like, what classes am I taking again? And I'm like looking back and I'm like, oh, okay. Oh, but I like could have fucked myself over so many times because of how chill I am about it. I'll just be like, all right, those ones seem correct. Luckily, I'm good, but I was always really lax about that. I do remember that. But I can't decide what I want to eat for dinner, so like that is funny.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Um, what do you consider cheating?

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Um I think like there's different kinds, there's emotional cheating, which I think would be like texting a girl constantly, swiping up on her story, saying you're beautiful, whatever, all that stuff. I think that's a form of cheating. I think that's not as bad as physical cheating, in my opinion. But it's a form of cheating.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Would you forgive that cheating?

SPEAKER_02 21:40

I think it depends.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

It depends on what?

SPEAKER_02 21:43

Like, I don't know. It like depends on the person, the reason, but I don't know if I'd be able to forgive that, like or forget about that. Like it's just like the loyalty. It's like if you wanted to tell me, then like, I don't know, like, don't just go do that behind my back. Cause it it's just like Like it's the loyalty of it. It's not even like I wouldn't even be mad about the girl necessarily, like that he was talking to. I'd just be mad about the idea of like why? Like you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 22:10

It would just kind of like so let's say a girl um slips into your boyfriend's DMs, says, Hey, I think you're super hot. And he replies and he says, Thank you. Who are you killing?

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Wait, wait, that's fine. That's oh that's like the worst question. Okay. Um, well, I think it would be does the girl know that he is a girlfriend? Which he probably would if she clicks on his Instagram, because I'm all over his Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

So that's kind of already. If he says thank you, like uh I mean if it's like Madison beer, I'd be like, okay. But I know I think I'd be really mad at both of them in that situation. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

I think like both people would get like let's say the let's say you see the girl at like a party at your college. What are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Depends on how drunk I am.

Submission, Dynamics, And Compatibility

SPEAKER_02 23:10

But if we're like low level, I think I would be like, you know, kind, and like not kind, but I would be like, hey girl, like that was not cool, like why, what the fuck? Then if I was really drunk, I think I would like be like, come with my and be like my friends, I'd be like, come with me. We're going right now, and I'd storm up and be like, bitch, like I think I would do that, but I would need like more alcohol in me because I'm not as confrontational as I wish I should be sometimes. I'll imagine myself doing things in my head, and then I'm like, wait, why didn't I actually do that?

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Uh-huh. So then let's say the girl says, Well, you know, he you don't deserve him, he should be with me.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

It's up to him then at that point, it's like, do you want this bitch or do you want me? Like, like if she thinks that, that's kind of funny, like in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Got it. Okay, so so let's say, so if he says thank you, then you are angry at him because he didn't because he replied.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Okay, but he hasn't cheated yet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

I don't think that's like cheating yet.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Okay. So if he says, oh, well, you two.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

I think that's also not cheating. Cheating. I think it's just kind of brushing on it a little bit. It's just like in the in the gray zone where you're still angry, but you're not gonna break up. I don't think I would, I don't think I'd break up. I think that would be like if this happens again, then yeah, I'd probably have to take a break. But like, uh-huh, you know, it's kind of like it's a very gray zone to where I feel like it would also really depend on the state of your relationship. Like if your relationship was already in a shitty place, I think that would kind of take it off. But if you're in a really good place and that happens, I think it would almost be like, why? Like, what's going on in a relationship that's making you feel the need to do that, you know?

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Don't you think that um a certain level of certain amount of flirting is just natural behavior?

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Yeah. I I mean, I'm like a really flirtatious person. Like sometimes my boyfriend will be like, you come off way too flirty, way too nice.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

And I'm like, Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

Like I do sometimes. Like I'm just certain people, I guess, are more like that than others.

SPEAKER_04 25:25

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

And I think it's more of like the intent if I was like only like that around certain people, like then it would be sus. But like literally anyone I meet, I'm just very, very like huggy and hi, oh my gosh, I like your jacket, or like whatever. I'm just very complimentary, bubbly, nice, and that's how like I've always been. And sometimes I like don't even realize it, but I'm like, oh, that could totally set the wrong impression for somebody that doesn't know me. You know what I mean? No, because sometimes I have to like be like, okay, like I can't be that nice, like or whatever, but it's just so my personality. I'm very prone it down a little bit, yeah. And he's not really like that, but some people are, and I think it's like some people's personalities are just like that. Like, and I don't know, if people can't deal with it, then maybe they're too insecure, right? Or maybe you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Do you believe in marriage?

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Mm-hmm. I do. My parents are happily married for like 25 years.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

What's their secret?

SPEAKER_02 26:19

They're just my dad just always says yes to my mom, you know? You know, he just does whatever she wants. No, but honestly, I their relationship is just it's they're just very good for each other. They know how to navigate, give each other space when it's needed. They now run their own company together, which is insane. Um, because my dad worked for like 25 years in Ike Enterprise, COVID hit, the whole thing changed because he was doing entertainment cars for like movies and stuff, which was really cool. And then when COVID hit, all that stuff went to shit. Like movies. Um, so then he stopped that after 25 years and was like, I want to start a business. So then he started a business with my mom and they've been doing amazing. And

Cheating Lines, Impulse, And Boundaries

SPEAKER_02 27:00

she's like, they're working together, which they never thought they'd be able to do, but they separate it well. My mom does like client relations and stuff, and my dad does like all the finance stuff. So they kind of have their own separate things, but then they'll come together. But I think they're very good about like not overwhelming each other. They know when, okay, that's gonna that's gonna set her off right now. Let me go in the other room.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Right. You know, right. They know each other and they communicate well. Um, I think it's important because you have to be compatible and you have to understand each other's value system. Yeah. And be willing to um compromise.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

Exactly. What about you? Do you believe in marriage?

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Um, yeah. I mean, I am married. You are married? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Very nice. So I would have to. So I guess, yeah, I guess you would have to believe in that. But um, do I think marriage is uh I I think it's been blown out of proportion to a certain extent. Um, do I think you have to be married in order to be happy? No. No. Do I believe that you know marriage shouldn't exist? No. I think I think people um give marriage a value, which is it allows them to feel more secure and more um at peace. Yeah. And that's good. However, I think they also need to be realistic about the fact that just because you're married doesn't mean that everything is good because marriage is just a byproduct of a long-term committed relationship. So those specifically do take a lot of work.

SPEAKER_04 28:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

And so if you want to have a successful marriage, you have to work hard in order to make sure you maintain it properly.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

I agree. Yeah, those are all good points.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Um do you think that marriage should be a lifelong commitment that you cannot break, or should it have an expiration date that you could renew at the end of it?

SPEAKER_02 29:11

Oh, I never thought of it in that way. Um, I kind of think the renew thing because like even if you get married, it's amazing and you hope it lasts. But people do change, people evolve, relationships change, tragedies happen in life. Like it just because you're married doesn't mean that the rest of your relationship's gonna be rainbows and butterflies.

SPEAKER_04 29:31

Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

And divorce isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can be so good for some people and change their lives for the better. And I think like kind of like having the idea in your head that that is okay, it doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you any less. It's okay. So I think having, yeah, if there was like a you could renew it, I think that would be fine. I don't, I don't think the idea of like marrying someone means you have to be stuck with them for life because life changes.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Cool. Have you ever gone through your partner's phone?

SPEAKER_02 30:05

No, but he's gone through mine before.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

And I was not very happy about that.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Do you think your partner should have access or you should have access to your partner's phone?

SPEAKER_02 30:17

I do. Like I have his n password, but I just like don't have a reason to.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

And he doesn't have a reason to either.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

I think if if you said, hey, let me have your password, and he said, No, I think we should just keep it separate, would that make you feel suspicious?

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Yes, because of how our relationship has been for the past years. Like we always know each other's passwords. We're, you know, like it's not that big of a deal. So if suddenly he became all weird about it, yeah, I would be sus.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Got it. Got it. Um what do you think about porn?

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Porn? I'm not like a big porn person.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Do you think your partner should be allowed to watch porn?

SPEAKER_02 30:58

I think it's okay if he wants to. I used to be, I did used to be the kind of girl that was like, no.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Why is that?

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Um, because like I wasn't as mature, I wasn't as grown. I would think I was more of an anxiously attached person. Um, so it kind of made me feel less loved, less worthy.

SPEAKER_04 31:14

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

And now I'm in the point where I'm a lot more secure and confident in myself to where it doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

I think there's an excessive amount.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

Sure. But what's the excessive amount?

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Like daily.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

Uh-huh. Daily porn is is.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

I think it's a I think it's a little much.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

If if your partner was watching porn every single day, what would you say or do?

SPEAKER_02 31:39

What am I doing that's making you feel like you need to watch porn every single fucking day?

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Yeah. Okay. Um, does it matter how much you the guy you want to marry makes?

SPEAKER_02 31:55

This question is basically how I view this question is up the point now that I'm in, I foresee like the person that I'm with. No, he's not making all this money. He's a college student, but he is a math major, he's like a genius, so smart. I know he's going places. Like I know he's gonna be very successful. He's not a bum. Like, you know what I mean? He has goals and aspirations and like a plan for himself. So I think at the point when I'm deciding who I'm marrying, like I want to marry somebody that at the point we're getting married is financially secure. At hopefully at that point in my life, I am too for myself because I want to work hard, like uh career work fulfills me a lot.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Um, but eventually when I do like start a family and all that, I want to have the ability to stop working and be able to take care of my kids. Like that's what I want. That's what my family my parents had. And being raised by my mom and like not like a nanny changed like be molded me into who I am, you know, and I want the same for my kids. So I think yes, when I'm marrying somebody, I want them to be in a comfortable financial state to where we feel like, you know, like eventually I can get to the place where I don't need to work and I can take care of the kids.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

It's traditional, but it's like what I would like.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Prefer, yeah. Okay. Um does a body count matter for a guy?

SPEAKER_02 33:23

I feel like if they're like a known hoe in the neighborhood, yeah. Like if I like know, if I can name off 10 girls that they've gone with, like, or whatever, like then that's just like, but it's like, I don't know. First of all, I don't think a guy is gonna ever truly say his real body count, dear

Flirting, Marriage, And Family Models

SPEAKER_02 33:40

girl. But I think it's like it kind of depends on the kind of person they are. Like if you're out with them and you notice them looking at other girls all the time, texting other girls all the time, and it just seems like that's their personality, they're not like a settled-down person and that's what you want. But there are guys that have had crazy hoe experiences and then like change and settle down, and I think that it's like it can be okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Okay, so so if somebody's body count is like a thousand.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Okay, no. Okay, no. Like, there's a point, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 34:14

What but what the what number is that point?

SPEAKER_02 34:17

I would say like this is like so high. This is like so sad that I'm even going this high, but like 60.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

That's like so high that 60 is so high?

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Yeah, I think that's so high.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

But how old are we talking?

SPEAKER_02 34:31

Well, I'm 22 years old.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

Okay, so you're saying for a 22-year-old, 60 is like high.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

Yes. Okay. I think that's really high.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

Um You're like laughing at me.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

No, no, no, no. I'm just trying to do the math here. You're trying to do the math. Let's say for the sake of this conversation that the guy starts having sex uh at the age, what what would be a reasonable age to start having sex? 16, 17, 18. Yeah, let's say let's say 16 for the sake of this conversation. Um, and 16 to 22, that's six years. So during the six years, um, how many people per week is it reasonable for a guy to have sex? Is one okay per week?

SPEAKER_02 35:17

I mean, yeah, that's like how they roll. There's nothing wrong with one a week, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

One a week is okay. Like that's not excessive, it doesn't seem like it doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

It's a different girl every week.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

What about one a month?

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Like a different girl every week.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

It's not the worst, honestly. That's not the worst. Like I've guy friends that have done a lot worse than that.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Okay, so that's that's like kind of reasonable, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Yeah. Are you doing the math? Are you telling me what the math is?

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Well, no, no, no. I'm trying to find the line where where it's reasonable, yeah. So if you do one a month from 16 years old to 22 years old, that's 72 bodies.

SPEAKER_04 35:56

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

Right? Because that would be 12 months per year. No, yeah, you're six years, that would be 72. So you see how like that math goes from reasonable to unreasonable when you collect a number, right? Yeah. But in theory, it's not really that unreasonable.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

I guess you're right.

SPEAKER_00 36:15

But then again, that's a matter of perspective.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

Yeah, it's like, I don't know. It's like a saluted question.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

I mean, it's meant to be. It is. So it really is a matter of the person sort of understanding what's, I guess, normal versus not normal based on the the the culture and their upbringing and the people that they're around.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

Right.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yeah. Yeah, in different countries too. Like it's a lot more normalized at like young ages, which isn't like there's a few people in my college that I know that like I hear and they had the craziest stories when they were like in high school, and I'm like, Like what? Like, I've just like heard like a kid like from um I think it's like Brazil, and he's just like been to all these clubs, been with all these older girls, strippers, like all this stuff. Like by the time he's like 18. I'm like, oh my god. Like that's that's crazy, but it's like different in like all these other countries, you know.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

The guy who you smashed the bottle of he you said he he was in combo and he had six girls at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

I don't know if it was at the same time. Oh, like I don't know, but it was like the spring break, like cavo.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

Were you guys dating? No.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Okay, so but he like he like met my parents, like came to my house. Like he we that was a situation, and it was yeah, and it was like three days after he came to meet my parents. I was like, that's really, really nice to hear. Like, I was just like, ew.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

So what he told you this himself? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

I found this out from like just people that were there.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

They said, Hey, by the way, this guy.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

Yeah, did this, this, and I'm like, Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

And it upset you because you had feelings for him?

SPEAKER_02 38:00

Yeah, I guess maybe I did at the time too, and I just felt kind of like, like I felt so gross. Like it made me feel so. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Interesting. Yeah, okay. Um, would you have the same, would you have had the same response if it was just one girl?

SPEAKER_01 38:15

No, probably okay. I think it's just like the number of ears. Yeah, like I thought that was just so like ew. It was like five days.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Interesting. Okay. So do you think that um the same number of body counts that we just talked about, which is like 72 for guys, right, in six years? Does that apply? Would would it would would you have the same perception if it was a girl?

SPEAKER_02 38:47

Yeah. I think it would still be messed up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

But we established that it's not messed up for a guy.

SPEAKER_02 38:54

Oh, oh, like you mean if the girl did the same like one a month. Oh, oh, no. I think it's the same. I think we hold women to a very different standard than men than when it comes to that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

You think this you think our society holds women to a different standard to men? Yeah. When it comes to how many people they there should they should be allowed to have sex with.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

Yes. Like, it's just

Money, Standards, And “Body Count” Double Standards

SPEAKER_02 39:20

the way that like, you know, they'll call women fatherless and things like that. And I'm like, well, who's the person that wasn't there? The father, the man in the life. Like, I don't know. I think it's like it's kind of like ignorant to think like that. And just the idea of that, like, when you hear a high body count from a man versus a woman, very different reactions.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

Okay. And you think that's unreasonable?

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Yeah, I do. I think like I don't think we should be held to like I think we should be held to the same standard.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

I don't think it should be like But don't you think that we're bod biologically built different?

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Yes. Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

Yeah. But I think like sex-wise, like a woman's body count versus a men's body count, like hearing 70 bodies on a woman seems a lot crazier than hearing 70 bodies from a man in society.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Sure. But you don't believe that that's how we should be. Huh. Got it. Got it. Um do you think it's possible to recover from infidelity?

SPEAKER_02 40:27

Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

You would forgive.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

I think like eventually in life, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:33

Eventually.

SPEAKER_00 40:34

So if you are married and your husband cheated on you and comes home and um let's say you find out that he cheated on you, and then he um says, I'm so sorry, I'm not gonna do it again. You'll forgive me.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

No, not immediately. I think it was after a while. If we had kids together, family, I think I would almost want to, just for the sake of like my family. I might never see them the same way, but I can forgive them for what they did, but it doesn't mean that I need to like open my heart or myself up to them in that way again.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

Let's say they do it again.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

Well, then it's just on me because I gave them another chance. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Would you forgive them again?

SPEAKER_02 41:18

No. So second time it's I think second time would be like because I am a person to give chances, second chances sometimes, depending on the extent of the situation. But I am like a forgiving, pretty forgiving person. I'm not, I don't hold crazy grudges, depending obviously on the extent of a situation.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Okay. Um do you believe in monogamy or open relationships?

SPEAKER_02 41:45

I think it can work depending on like open relationship scan. I think so.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

I I I I don't have experience with it, but I think that for some people it does work. Who do you know that I don't personally know anybody in an open relationship, but I've like, I don't know, heard stories about it. And I think when I think about it, it's probably in at least in from an outsider's perspective, I kind of think of it as like, okay, those two people know that they love and are secure with each other. Um, and they don't define like their relationship by like sex and like being with other people, like their love and their connection is more the gist of their relationship and what they care about in their relationship than the sexual part. And if they have that agreement and they know that within their relationship, then let people live how they want to live. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 42:39

Are open relationships signs of evolution or excuse to just sleep with other people?

SPEAKER_02 42:49

I think it's kind of like I think it's more like if somebody is in a relationship and they're genuinely like bored or not happy and they're using the open relationship as a way to kind of escape it but still be in the relationship, then I think yes. But I think when they people go into a relationship already knowing that they want to have an open relationship, then it's kind of a different story because those people were already on the same page of what they're looking for. But I feel like it's like if you're in a relationship, a lot of times they'll be in a bad place or something's not working, and instead of taking a break, people still want to hold on to what they have, but have be in an open relationship to like for those ulterior motives. Sure. What I think you're explaining, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

Right. Um I think we kind of touched on this, but I don't know um your thoughts on this particular thing, which is do you think emotional cheating cheating is worse or physical cheating? Physical. Okay. I think so. If your husband had a relationship with a girl who he talked to on a regular basis. And they went back and forth and had said things. You think that is that has less of a value versus if he had sex with someone just once?

SPEAKER_02 44:16

Um I think I think well if it's like a long time, where's my other safe? Where if it's like a long time emotional like relationship, then it's like different. But and then it kind of goes on the same level as physical cheating, then if they have like a long time emotional relationship with someone that goes on six months, three months, even like that is kind of similar than a physical cheating. But if somebody as we were talking about before, like slid into someone's DMs or something like that, that is not as bad. But I think it becomes a similar level as physical cheating when it gets to the point of like a long relationship texting all the time, then it's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:00

Got it. Do you think um being friends with the benefits ever works?

SPEAKER_02 45:06

No, not really.

SPEAKER_00 45:08

Why is that?

SPEAKER_02 45:08

It always it always has a crash and bird, it always ends up with one person liking the other more, or somebody gets jealous of somebody being with somebody else. I think it's it's just always a recipe for disaster. I really do. It's such a college thing to be friends with benefits. It never works. Like what you're gonna be friends with benefits with the guy that lives next to you at your at the dorm, like the guy that you walk out and brush your teeth with every single day. How do you think that's really gonna go?

SPEAKER_00 45:37

Do you think women should sleep sleep with men on the first date, or do you think they should hold out for a while? And if the latter, how long?

SPEAKER_02 45:49

I think it totally uh um is based on the vibe of your first date. If you guys like hit it off and it's like very sexual tension, I think there's nothing wrong with it. I think it happens, and I don't think like I think people are in long relationships after like having sex very quick. Like people will have sex first time they meet and be together for years and years. I think it just if a

Infidelity, Open Relationships, And Gray Zones

SPEAKER_02 46:10

guy, I think a girl can kind of really sense if a guy really is there just to have sex with her. Um it's kind of like it kind of sort of becomes obvious very quickly. I feel like not every woman might notice it, but at least I have. Um, and so I I think it's like if you don't want to hold out and you want to do something for yourself, like I say, do what you want. Like there's nothing wrong with it. You maybe, maybe you will get the short end of the stick, and maybe it will be like one of those guys that just wanted to have a one-night stand, but then you learned about who that guy was very early on.

SPEAKER_00 46:45

Right, didn't waste your time. Yeah, got it. Um should your partner be allowed to like and follow sexy influencers on social media?

SPEAKER_02 46:56

To a point, if he follows like a few of them, like okay, but it's to the point where it's following every porn star and every OnlyFans girl, it's like come on, dude.

SPEAKER_03 47:06

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

You know, I think I think my boyfriend follows like Madison Beer and Sydney Sweeney or something. And I I'm not gonna like I don't actually he doesn't even I don't even think he does. Like, I don't even think he does follow any of them, but I've seen like a couple, and I'm like, I'm not gonna freak out about somebody popping up on your Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

What about if he's liking somebody who's like the opposite of how you are?

SPEAKER_02 47:28

See, yeah, I don't like the liking thing. I've like gone mad at that that to him before, like early on when it would be like random girls at my college that like I didn't know or whatever. I'm like, you don't understand like the idea. I know to you it's just literally liking a photo. He's like, why is it a big deal? I'm like, because girls notice that. Like I've noticed that when I see a guy that's like in a relationship that is constantly always like within the first 30 minutes liking my pictures, I'm like, I'm like, it's weird. Like, I'm I feel bad for that girl. You know what I mean? And so it's like, I'm like, it just makes it like even if your intentions are not like that, it girls think of it like that.

SPEAKER_00 48:02

Do you think that women should be allowed to post thirst strap photos while they're in a relationship?

SPEAKER_02 48:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

You think that's okay?

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Because he liked me because of like the guy liked you probably because of your Instagram and your thirst trap photos. So what, now that you're dating them, you can't post them anymore? Like, I think that's a little hypocritical. Like, like you probably wouldn't even be dating me if I didn't post that ass shot the other day. No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 48:25

But there's a difference between having been single versus now you're in a relationship.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

Yeah, I mean, I think I was I was definitely a lot more risky on Instagram when I was like freshman in college. But now I'm like older, going into jobs, the workspace, definitely trying to be a little bit more like conservative on the things that I post. So that just kind of like came with that. But I do think I guess there is a little bit of a level of respect. Like, unless like your your influencer brand is based on your ass or something or like whatever, then like they might know that going into it. But if like I just started posting all these bikini butt shots and just this shit all the time, like I'm I get why he would be annoyed. But you know, if if every six months I have like hot bikini photo that I want to post, like I'll post it. But like it's like those girls that are constantly posting thirst traps, like that is a little bit much. I I do I do see that.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

Do do you think men cheat more or women?

SPEAKER_02 49:28

I think men.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

Why is that?

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Um honestly don't really have a full reason to support this. Um I just think it's more like I think women are more the people that they'll like emotionally break up with the guy like months before they even break up with him. And they'll kind of know that. Of course. And then I feel like guys don't even really get to that point. They're just kind of like make a stupid decision and be like, oh my god, like I I didn't even realize I was feeling like this about the relationship, and then they use it as like cheating, where I feel like girls just kind of like get to the point where they become like resentful almost of their boyfriend, and like they can tell she starts liking him less when a guy I feel like they often just will resort to going to another girl when they're like upset. Like that's more of what I've seen. But I'm not gonna speak for all men because all men are cheaters, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 50:21

Yeah, yeah. Um do you think that men should always pay on the first date?

SPEAKER_02 50:32

Yeah, I think so. I think it's like a level of respect and that I'm taking you out on this date, like I'm here to I don't know, like I think it's a why would I be wasting my time with a guy that's like, oh, let's split it on the first date? Like you can't even pay for one meal for me to like impress me for the first time. I think that's just like I think it's kind of rude, in my in my opinion. And I know it's like traditional and women will be like, well, women can pay too. And I'm like, yeah, I can pay, but I it's the first date, like there's a level of almost like I want I want you to try to impress me. I put all this effort into doing my makeup and my hair and picking out a cute outfit. Like, it's a lot of work that goes into going on a first date as a woman. The guy goes takes a shower, throws on his clothes, but you know what I mean? I feel like it's it makes a woman feel special. Like it does. Like, I think it's there's like a almost like a sentimental element of it. It's like it makes you feel

Social Media Rules: Likes, Follows, Thirst Traps

SPEAKER_02 51:30

special.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

I don't take issue with the premise of the idea. However, what I take issue with is when I talk to somebody who picks and chooses what traditional values they're comfortable with and what traditional values they're not comfortable with, right? And I've noticed this a lot, especially in your generation, with people who um kind of decide what they like and what they don't like, and it doesn't particularly align with what a traditional person is, and also doesn't align with somebody who's supposed to be like open-minded per se, right? Um like when somebody, for example, if your boyfriend said to you that I don't want you to post a th thirst strap photo ever again, right? What would you say?

SPEAKER_02 52:36

Why? Like what what is like what's you would question, right?

SPEAKER_00 52:40

You would question it, and then you would want him to give you a valid reason in order for him, uh in order for you not to do this.

SPEAKER_02 52:46

Yeah, I think I would want more of like a valid reason.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

Right. And you know, that and that's very untraditional of you. Right.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

I guess you're right, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

But then in this case, right, women would pick and choose and say, well, you know, because of this and this and this, the man should pay on the first date, otherwise this and this and this. Right. So it's that we pick and choose that, and I use this example actually, especially with people who are religious as well. Right? There are people who say they believe in Jesus, they believe in God, they believe this and that, but then they would pick and choose the parts of the Christianity that they like. And the other parts, they're just like, oh, well, I believe this, yeah, right. So that to me is very inconsistent, and it just tells me that the person is more so comfortable with what they find value to them versus what actually is the societal norm or the culture.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 53:50

Yeah, yeah. I like that point. I like that take. I think that's an interesting take. I never thought of it like that. Um you're right, because like we do as a society, we pick and choose things that we want to add value to and listen to, and we'll ignore the other things. And yeah, and like kind of like the way too in our society now with women and women empowerment, which I am definitely a feminist and believe in all that stuff, but I think now sometimes women will get looked down upon for wanting traditional things, for wanting certain things because like you're not empowered as a woman, but sometimes those traditional ways or certain things can make a woman feel empowered. And I think it's like different people feel different things and want different things in a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 54:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

Final question the size matter like can't be too small, but like the motion in the ocean.

SPEAKER_00 54:50

Have you ever had an experience with a micropenis?

SPEAKER_02 54:53

No, thank god, thank fucking god. Like, I don't even know what I would do.

SPEAKER_00 54:58

How do you yeah, how do you think you would address it?

SPEAKER_02 55:00

I think I would fucking be such a bitch. I would start laughing. Like I would literally be, I would feel so bad, but I'd be like, like, no, no. I don't even want to like envision how that would be.

SPEAKER_00 55:12

Would you walk out?

SPEAKER_02 55:13

Like, I think I'd like make up, I'd be like, oh my god, like I just got my period or like something. Like, you know, like I don't think I would try to make them feel like shit.

SPEAKER_00 55:21

So you wouldn't tell the truth, you would just make something up.

SPEAKER_02 55:24

Unless they were like an asshole, and I'm like, oh thank god they have a small dick.

SPEAKER_00 55:28

This is interesting because it bothers me a lot. Um, I I I don't like people lying to me. I just I I very much dislike it.

SPEAKER_02 55:40

But most guys would not want a girl telling them, Oh, your dick is small.

SPEAKER_00 55:43

Perhaps not, but I think there's a way to address it, right? Like I'm I'm not saying I have this issue, obviously I don't, but the my my point is like there's there was a situation the other day where somebody um oh we were going out and this person that and you know there's like a group of people with us and this person knows the plan. And um she was like she was like, hey, I think I'm tired, I'm gonna go home. Right. And I'm like, in my head, I'm like thinking to myself, what that like, what does that even mean? Like you're not like a five-year-old kid, just like you know, chug a Red Bull, like you know, suck it up. Like it's not, like it's just like you're a grown-ass person, you know, get through it. And then and then and then it's a few minutes goes by, and then like 30 minutes later, she comes up to me and she says, Hey, yeah, I don't know if I could stay, you know, my stomach hurts. And I turned to her and I said, and I said, Oh, okay. And then I was walking away and I said, This is how people get uninvited from shit. And and then and then there was like a couple minutes that there was like this like pause where I'm like organizing it like other people's, like, we're like getting into Ubers and stuff like that. And she was like, Well, you know, you know, I'm just gonna come for a bit and like you know, we'll like you know, I'll just like come see like how it is. And then and then she comes and she stays like for a good amount of time, and all I'm thinking to myself is like I just don't understand why lie.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:24

You know, like why create all this fuss? Yeah, it's just like just don't like my stomach hurts. I'm like all

Who Cheats More And First-Date Paying

SPEAKER_00 57:30

these, like it's just what are you, a two-year-old child? Like, it just doesn't make sense to me when grown-ass people do this.

SPEAKER_02 57:35

I hate it when I go out with my friends, and then like somebody's like, I'm tired of- I'm like, then go home or something. Like, you don't need to go and complain to me. I'm not gonna mommy you and call you an Uber. Yeah, yeah, you can figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

And then was this this actually happened to a friend of mine.

SPEAKER_02 57:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 57:50

Um, he was hanging out with this girl, and and and this would bother me too, but like he's he's talking to this girl, blah, blah, blah, and she gets a phone call. And and she's now before this phone call, she's like on her phone. And she gets a phone call, and then she goes, she goes, Hey, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, puts the phone down, and then turns to this guy and says, Um, hey, sorry, like, you know, my friend has an emergency, like, I gotta go. Okay. And like this is it's it's clearly a made-up situation. Like, she texted some guy, was like, call me, like, or some girl, whatever. Call me, hey, like, you know, tell me you need me, and then I'm just gonna bounce and leave, right? Whereas I think there is a level of honesty that I think it's it's it's productive to have. Yeah. And one of those situations is like just telling the person straight up, hey, like, I totally get like you you're interested in me, for example, in this situation, but like I'm not feeling it, so I'm just gonna head home. But I would love us to be friends, or even if you don't want to be friends, like, you know, see you never again, right? And in that situation for a micro penis, I think the person with the micropenis would appreciate the comment of like, hey, look, like I didn't know this was the situation, and like I I think I'm gonna head out because I'm not comfortable with it. Okay, versus saying, like, which I get what you're where you're coming from. It's like you don't want to hurt the person's feeling, but I don't think a person's like a person like that is not expecting this because they're not gonna think to themselves, oh wow, she really got her period. Like, he's not thinking this, like he's not thinking she definitely got her period. Wow, like what a coincidence! Like, that's just like not a realistic thing. Like the person would know that you're lying.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

Yes, you know, uh yeah. I do think that there are like some kinds of people, like including me, like I think I used to be more like that. Of like, some people are just too scared to be honest and tell people like people don't want to hurt people, people don't want to, people don't have the balls to say stuff like that. I don't want to be here, and I think which is not always okay, like people should, but I think a lot of people don't have the balls to say it. And also, I think a big reason too why girls will do the thing like calling their friend or whatever, the per the girl could be like uncomfortable, you know what I mean, at the date. Like, what if she's like on what if the guy's making her feel uncomfortable, like in a hypothetical situation? So that I feel like is more of a reason why you do that. But if you genuinely just like don't like him, then yes, I agree. Be like, I'm not feeling this. But if a girl's like uncomfortable, then I think that's when you can use that tactic. But I think people will use that tactic for a non-needed reason when you could be straight up with the guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:40

Right, you know, yeah, yeah. I in general, rule of thumb for me, I prefer honesty regardless of how harsh it is because I just think it's it's more productive. Like if you know, my mouth smelled and I was about to make out with someone.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:56

Yeah, tell me I need a mint, please.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

Yeah, just feel like, hey, like I think you could, you know, here like I have a mint or here is a gum, like whatever, you know. And I've done this with people, it's just like pull out a gum and just hand it to them.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:06

Yeah, which I think that is so valid.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:08

Right. Yeah. Um The college experience that you currently have. Do you do you think that the structure of college should be different?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

Mm-hmm. I think college is kind of dumb, honestly, in a lot of reasons. Like a million of the classes I'm taking, I'm never gonna use. I'm learning about stuff that I won't use. A lot of my classes feel pointless. I think so much of college is pointless, but it's the system that has been set up in our society, and it feels like that's the path you're supposed to go. Like, I was so like not always planning on going, but I am a very academic person. I am very smart in school, and like it was always like, you're gonna go to a good college, you're gonna go to college, and like it was just always feels like the path, but I think a hundred percent the way we're set up, it's like having a bachelor's degree now is like a high school degree. It's like expected. Um, and it's it's kind of stupid to me now. So many of the things I'm doing, I'm like, I could be using this time to be so much more productive. And like I I'm always like, I'm wasting these days. Like, I could be doing this, or I have ideas, things that I want to start, but I feel like I don't have the time or the pressure of college and oh goddamn, it's so fun, but it's also like really like why am I learning about this? Like, come on.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:26

There's a lot better um things you could learn that are gonna be useful for your adulthood versus the things that they teach you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:36

Well, good luck with all that. Thank you. Good luck graduating, and

Honesty, Awkward Truths, And Respect

SPEAKER_00 1:02:40

good luck with journalism. I think uh you are uh gonna be great in the space.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:47

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:48

Of course, thanks for your honesty, thanks for your openness. Thank you for your time. Um that was fun. Yeah, for sure. Thanks for watching, and we'll see you later.