Unattainable Podcast Show

Dating In Los Angeles With Standards And Soul Ft. Milan - Ep.183

• Mohammad Molaei & Zach Evans • Season 4 • Episode 183

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:03:58

Special thanks to Milan for being a part of this episode of Unattainable Podcast Show 

We get brutally honest with Milan about dating in Los Angeles, where attraction is real, authenticity is rare, and insecurity can wreck a relationship fast. Her bomb shelter story shifts everything toward gratitude, resilience, and the creative routines that keep her grounded in the modeling and acting world.
• dating in LA without chasing money or clout
• why attraction matters and why people lie about it
• the “hot guy phase” and what replaces it long term
• how trauma and near-death moments reset your priorities
• the bomb shelter escape story and what it taught her
• talking about past relationships without disrespecting your partner
• insecurity, possessiveness, and the “where are you” spiral
• being an empath, reading energy, and needing emotional boundaries
• manifestation, Utah “signs,” and landing a first commercial
• why modeling is a skill and not just good looks
• trust issues, rumors, and friendship drama behind the scenes
• bullying, jealousy, and learning not to take it personally
• piano as therapy and the habit that builds confidence
• martial arts discipline and why real human interaction matters
• anxiety triggers, control, and why she chooses not to drink
• a creative coach as therapy and the push to stop doomscrolling
My Instagram is at Milan Chaim, M I L A N C H A I M
My TikTok is I’m Not Milan One

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE AND LIKE
Stay updated on every new exciting and unique episode filled with conversations and stories you have not heard ever before. 

Brand New Episode every Monday at 7pm PST 

Listen on ANY Podcast Streaming Service
Apple Podcast: https://smarturl.it/UnattainableApple
Spotify: https://smarturl.it/UnattainableSpotify
Google: https://smarturl.it/UnattainableGoogle 
Amazon: https://smarturl.it/UnattainableAmazon
AND MANY MORE 

Follow /Subscribe on 
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unattainableShow
Twitter: https://twitter.com/unattainableshw
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@unattainableShow
Youtube: https://smarturl.it/UnattainableYoutube                                        

Thank you for watching :)

Support the show

Milan Intro And Zodiac Banter

SPEAKER_03

Hi, my name is Milan. I'm a model actress and also pianist. I do a couple different things and I'm a scorpion. When you look us up online, that stuff's a little bit like off the chart. People say, like, no, I don't look for looks. You're lying. We're all human. If you're not attracted to someone, that's kind of a deal breaker. There's some people that I'm very grateful. I've had a great childhood, a great upbringing. I experienced something like very traumatic. I was in a bomb shelter for two weeks. And I put my hand through that glass hole that the guy broke in the door, and I cut my arm. They start walking towards us and they say, jump out the window, jump out the window. Everything you experience in life, it like it changes you. When I'm dating someone, I think it's okay to talk about past relationships to a certain extent. Because it's that's a part of you. It was almost like it was announcing that someone's about to die. You have to know how to cry and make it look beautiful. I had this Russian piano teacher hardcore. She would slap my hands if I did something wrong. Crazy. She would make me go to the bathroom, put cold water on my face if I felt tired. She would make sure the water was physical.

SPEAKER_01

Welcome to Unattainable. Glad to have you with us. I'm your host, Zach Gibbons. And first of all, thank you to all of our listeners. We've been getting a ton of growth and engagement over the last few weeks, so we gotta thank you guys out there for that. Today we got a special guest on the show. This is Milan. Milan, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself to the audience, your name, what you do, and your star sign?

SPEAKER_03

Hi, my name is Milan. I'm a model actress and also pianist. I do a couple different things, and I'm a Scorpio.

SPEAKER_01

Scorpio?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I know all about you, Scorpios.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01

Very you guys are very fun, but uh a little bit dangerous. Why did you laugh when I said dangerous?

SPEAKER_05

It's true.

SPEAKER_01

A little bit, I don't want to say toxic because I do feel like you guys are misunderstood more than uh toxic, but you guys are very interesting.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I would say when you look us up online, that stuff's a little bit like off the charts. Definitely, I think that stuff is not so correct. Um I'm also I also like to look at like the moon and uh those type of things.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you're like, I actually identify with my moon son.

SPEAKER_03

Please refer to me by my pronouns with the I think my moon is Pisces.

SPEAKER_01

That's my uh star. That's my normal Pisces gang.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know really many Pisces.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we're the best. You know, we're very we're very rare. We're a very rare breed.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I don't judge by the way. I used to be very toxic back in my villain era.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I would hope I'm not toxic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, let me uh let me start off with this. I think you'll have an interesting take on it, and then I got a story for you in a sec.

Dating In LA And Authenticity

SPEAKER_01

But um dating in LA is probably one of the hardest places to date, right? You have fake people, celebrities, only fans, sugar daddies, fake people. Like it's crazy. It's crazy. What has your been experience been like dating in LA so far?

SPEAKER_03

Um, I haven't dated so much, honestly, in LA because I moved to Newport Beach. But uh in LA, I would say I kind of try to avoid it, honestly, because growing up, I went to a high school with lots of high-end bougie kids, and you can kind of see how they date each other and they kind of recycle a bit. And I'm just not into that. It's very much not for me. Um, and also like when people flex their money and all that, that's also not for me. It's such a turnoff to me. Interesting. Yeah, I just like I prefer someone that's so authentic and true to themselves and works hard and is passionate about life and what they want to do. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01

So you don't care if a guy has money, as long as you got the connection with him.

SPEAKER_03

If I love you, unfortunately, I don't care.

unknown

Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01

Did you okay? I I'm curious. So I I've always thought that in a sense, girls I think are attracted a lot to money and status the same way guys are attracted to looks, right? Yeah, it is a superficial thing, yeah, and there are things that are more important, uh-huh, but also there's like a certain bar that I have in terms of like when I date a girl that okay, she has to cross a certain level of looks before I would even like consider dating her. I'm not saying it's good or bad, I think it's just true though.

SPEAKER_03

It's true. We're all people say like, no, I don't look for looks. You're lying. We're all human, and that's the first human instinct. You're gonna look at a person and think if you're attracted to them. That's just the truth. It's like science. Yeah, I mean, I agree.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I don't think people should have to feel guilty about that. No, not at all.

SPEAKER_03

I say it too. I'm like, obviously, I'm gonna look at how someone looks first. That's the first thing you see. I'm not gonna think of what's their personality first because I don't know their personality. That's something you learn over time. I yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, let me ask you this. So I've always felt that for guys, looks is more of a hard line in the sand. It's kind of like, all right, if she's not over a certain like level that I would want to date, no matter what happens, I'm probably not gonna date her. Where I feel like for girls, usually, looks is more like a good thing, but then guys can kind of grow on you. Do you feel like that's true in your case, or is it just like, nah, if you're if you're ugly, sorry?

SPEAKER_03

I I personally I don't I don't know. I I don't think I've ever gone for someone ugly. I wouldn't I wouldn't like to like call people ugly, but I mean that's the truth. I just haven't. Um I definitely know like they're pretty girls that they go for lower looking, I guess, lower status, according to society guys. And um that's their thing. I personally, if I'm not attracted to you, then like what's the point that that's like the whole main point. That's like the first thing. Attraction.

SPEAKER_01

Like that's square one.

SPEAKER_03

That's the first thing, it's attraction. That's what makes you stay with someone for longer, and also then it then comes the loyalty and the passion and the this and the that. So I think if you're not attracted to someone, that's kind of a deal breaker.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, it's tough. It's definitely tough. Yeah, it's it's interesting.

Attraction Standards And The Hot Guy Phase

SPEAKER_01

Uh so I used to own a company in the modeling industry back COVID days. Um and I noticed something interesting. We call it hot guy phase.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And it'd be like, because you know, we would see models coming into the industry, and then we'd see models halfway through, and then we'd see models, you know, 31, 32 kind of on their way out.

SPEAKER_05

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

And the interesting thing was the young models, 18, 19, right? Yeah. They'd always be dating like, I swear, the same guy, like clones of each other, like TikTok hair, little dangly earring from Timu that they got was like they all looked exactly like I couldn't tell, is that your boyfriend or your boyfriend? I can't remember. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But the interesting thing was the like most beautiful girls, like the real like supermodel stunners, by the time they were even 22, 23, they'd always be dating some guy that looks super fucking normal. Like he'd look like if he like dropped off your Amazon package, you'd be like, Oh, yeah, like that makes sense. But they would always be extremely ambitious or successful or charismatic, and they just had something else. And it almost felt like they kind of got bored of like the hot guys. Yeah. And then they wanted something with a little more. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_03

That makes sense. I would I would say that makes complete sense because it like I said, you are gonna have attraction first, but then if someone ends up being like an asshole, then um what's the point? I'm not gonna stay with you. I'm gonna wanna be with someone long term, I'm gonna wanna marry someone long term that will be a good father, will be a good husband, will wanna be in a good relationship, take care of my kids, take care of me, that I want to take care of him, that like loves me. I don't want to be with someone that's just like looking in the mirror all day, you know? How sad would that be?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I mean, you're right. I hear like the number of times I've heard a girl say, Oh, this guy was so hot until he opened his mouth. And it's kind of that like, oh man, he looks so hot, but then there's just nothing there. It's just a blank screen happening in his brain. It happens.

SPEAKER_03

I'm sure even girls too, everyone.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Some people are just, you know, just the looks.

SPEAKER_01

And I think even on top of that, being good looking, I think you're more likely to actually have less of a personality.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because things come easier.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. You hit it right on the head, things come easier. That's a good way to put it.

SPEAKER_03

Um that's why I think it's so important to also just like put yourself out there no matter how you look or like who you are, to just put yourself out there and go travel and go talk to different people and go experience different things because you'll never like grow as a person unless you go and speak to different people and uh go experience different things.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think you develop your personality by through experience. Yeah, it's kind of like okay, if you were playing a video game, right, and you're trying to design somebody from scratch, right? And you wanted this person to have all the best character traits, confidence and resilience, and and he was funny, and he it's toughness and everything, it's like, what would you do in the game? It's like you probably wouldn't give him a super chill life.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

You probably put a hundred challenging obstacles on his path, yeah, force him to overcome them to develop the traits. So it's kind of like whenever things are like going really tough, I always like to think like, yes, this is the investment you're making in yourself to develop the best character traits that everybody wants to have.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I completely agree. There's some people that I'm very grateful. I've had a great childhood, a great upbringing, great parents. Um, so I'm grateful for everything I've had, but I know some people they get all that and they don't do anything with it. They just kind of stay playing the video games and stay on their couch and they don't want to do anything with themselves. And um it's unfortunate, it's kind of a waste because there's so many people that can be doing so many great things, and they just don't.

SPEAKER_01

Because they never have to, they

Trauma Gratitude And Growing Up Fast

SPEAKER_01

never are they don't have to, exactly.

SPEAKER_03

They don't have to and yeah, I would I experienced something like very traumatic. I was in a bomb shelter for two weeks. No way. Yeah, I was in a bomb shelter for two weeks, um obviously unexpected, and that kind of pushes you to like grow, and you you can't be the same person that you were before that. You just can't. You're not um and like by the time I came back home after that whole experience, I was like so grateful for such small things, like just to have the time to shower. People don't even think of like when you think of a list of things to be grateful for, you think uh roof over your head, right? You think your family, your friends, but you don't think of some things that are so beyond like to just have time to shower, the time, the time to shower, the time to go use the restroom, the time to go eat, all those things, those little things to be so grateful for, those little things, and that changes you and that makes you a better person, I think, honestly. And then you don't want to be around people that aren't grateful for those things because you're like, I don't have the time for this. What's the point? There's no time for these stupid little things that don't matter.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's interesting. I was watching this show. Have you ever seen the show called Alone?

SPEAKER_03

I haven't.

SPEAKER_01

It's like they send like 12 people out in the wilderness, and then the whoever survives the longest.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, like naked and afraid. Yeah, like naked and afraid.

SPEAKER_01

Like I watch the sexy version I watched that with my dad. That's funny. Yeah. But the crazy part is on the show, first of all, they're given like 10 items each. So they're coming in with like hammer like mallets and fucking like all this gear, fishing hooks and fishing line. And like the person who wins usually lasts like two months, three months. And it's and then they're just like, dude, I can't handle this anymore. And it's just crazy like how quickly we forget that we have like food like at the grocery store a block away and like running water, and we can just shower them whenever we want. We have air conditioning, and it's just like we can't even survive with all this shit we can bring from the real world for like two months in the actual wilderness. Like, that's wild to me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and some people just can't see that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's very, it's very easy to forget, I think.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's very easy to forget.

SPEAKER_01

But

Bomb Shelter Escape And Getting Out

SPEAKER_01

uh, what what's the story of the bombshell? Do you kind of glaze past up real fast? That's like a pretty crazy story.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I was just going to like visit my friends um in Israel, and we were going to I was just going to stop there and we were going to go to Greece together. And then a war started literally the night I got there. It was my first time ever going to a club.

SPEAKER_01

Crazy.

SPEAKER_03

First time ever going to a club. They convinced me that night the day I landed there. Imagine the jet lag. I'm in the club, and I'm like, so not enjoying myself already. It's not my type of scene. Because I also don't drink.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

So, yeah, so my friends are all like dancing, and I'm trying to dance with my best friend, trying to make her happy to of course make everyone have a good time. One guy even came up to me. He was like, You look like you don't want to be here.

SPEAKER_01

He just said it's great.

SPEAKER_03

He's like, You look like you don't want to be here. I'm like, I'm trying. Um, and then we ended up getting like texts on our phones and saying, Are you guys okay? And we were like, What? Is everything okay? So my friends, we all left the club and we're outside, and then we all get emergency alerts on our phone, and that means like war is coming. Um, because normally there they get like a red alert, and it's kind of like a do-do-doot, and it's like run to the bomb shelter for 15 minutes, and then you're good. That's just the reality. Um, but no, that meant like run to a bomb shelter, there's war coming, and then sirens started going off, and I'm in my heels running in a mini skirt, running, running, and um my friends, there were so many people running behind us, yelling, and that like we literally lost each other. We split into the crowd, and my best friend and her boyfriend split, we couldn't find them, and then my other girlfriend and I, we were like running, and this guy he's screaming, there's shelter over here, there's shelter over here, so we run, we run towards the guy, we run towards the shelter, you know. And then the door shuts, and there's more people trying to come inside because they're also trying to come to shelter, and one guy tries like breaking the door, it's like glass with bars, and um, he breaks like a hole near near the handle, but then realizes he can't open it, so they run away. The people that are outside run away, and we're inside, and I'm with a bunch of strangers and my best friend, and we realize that we're stuck in a staircase, and we're like, This is not good, because sometimes you can be safe in a staircase, but they were like huge open windows, not the so that's not safe from a bomb, you know, or from a whatever's coming. And so they're like, there's one girl smoking a cigarette in the corner and thinking, saying we're gonna die. There's one girl crying in the corner saying we're gonna die. My best friend's like freaking out. So the girls are like on the stairs freaking out, whatever whoever I was with, I was with strangers. The boys that we were trapped with, they're like running up the stairs. I guess we were in like an apartment complex, but they're knocking on doors, and nobody's opening the door because um they don't know who we are, they don't know if we're dangerous. But they're telling us to go to shelter across the street. So we go, so we're telling them, like, we can't leave your apartment, the door's locked, the door's shut. Yeah, so um I'm like trying to find a way out. I'm like in survival mode all of a sudden. It's my first time going through something like this. I don't live there. And I run down the stairs and I put my hand through that glass hole that the guy broke in the door, and I cut my arm. And I wasn't even thinking about the cut on my arm. I was trying so hard to break the door as much as I could. Nothing was happening. I took my hand out, that's when I cut it, on a rusty door. I didn't I didn't care at all. I literally saw it and I ran back up the stairs to the window. And I'm looking in the window, I'm thinking maybe we can like jump from the window to escape. And um, so then I'm turning to my best friend, I'm saying maybe we need to jump from the window, and then I keep looking through the window and I see these two drunk guys. What are you doing when they're siren?

SPEAKER_05

They're like drinking.

SPEAKER_03

So they're going to like pee in the bushes, I think. Yeah. And I'm like, so I start yelling, yelling at the top of my lungs. I'm like, we're a lot of people here. Please come help us, come help us. So they start walking towards us and they say, jump out the window, jump out the window, I'll catch you. So I turn back to my best friend, I say, Let's jump from the window. These they're so drunk, they start walking away. I turn again, I start yelling again. I go, please like try opening the door or something. So they go, and all of a sudden I hear boom, boom, boom. The door shattered all of it now.

SPEAKER_00

Whoa.

SPEAKER_03

I'm the one that saved us from getting out of that staircase. Like over 20 people. We the door finally opened. We all ran to shelter. Wait, it opened because they the drunk guys because the drunk guys like kicked it down.

SPEAKER_01

I see, I see.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So they kicked it down, and so then we ran to shelter. Then I was just like in a shelter for a while with my friend and her mom and her boyfriend and sister was like five of us for like two weeks. And all the airspace was closed, everything's closed. And um we had to escape on a boat on like a cruise. So like the day the ceasefire was called, we like run to to the car, and we're like going to like the cruise. And um so we finally got on a cruise, we got to Cyprus from the cruise, and then we still had our tickets to Greece that were unrefundable. It was supposed to be like 10 of us, but then it just ended up being me, my best friend, and her boyfriend, the three of us. Okay, and we went to Greece and we were like, oh, we deserve this so much. We finally got to Greece, and we're like, oh my god, we deserve this so much, and Greece, it's so beautiful, but yeah, long story, but that was kind of the story of what happened.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy, that's wild.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so but I was saying, like, obviously, people don't need to experience war, but for somebody to experience like everyone experiences loss, mourning, death, even even a new job, even things that are happy, like a new relationship, different things, but everything you experience in life, it like it changes you.

Past Relationships Boundaries And Jealousy

SPEAKER_03

And so that's why back to dating, like when I'm dating someone, I think it's okay to talk about past relationships to a certain extent. Because it's that's a part of you. That's what makes you you. And so yeah, I think that's a pretty interesting thing that some people don't agree on.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I am of the thought that you should be able to be open with most things if you're dating somebody. I think there's kind of a line of like, okay, maybe not like bring it up on the first date.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but if you're like obsessed with your ex and still bringing them up every second, that's something different.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

But if you're like, oh, this happened and that happened and this changed me in a certain way, that's fine. That's part of you.

SPEAKER_01

Did you go on a date where somebody was not okay with that?

SPEAKER_03

Um, I haven't.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I haven't. It's just a controversial opinion you have.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I but I just know that some people are like against that. I've I know from some friends that they like have had crazy exes, crazy, crazy exes, and uh they would not allow them to bring up anything.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting. Yeah. It's crazy though, because it's like everybody has a past. Like you can pretend it's not there, but that doesn't make it go away.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I think it's people that are immature and they they really need to just like go through life and understand that that's what a relationship is.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think it's it's people who are possessive and then also people who are desperate because they don't feel confident enough in themselves that they can get another partner or get another partner as hot as this girl or as cool as this girl, or whatever. So they're Just like I got one, I need to cling on tight and never fucking let go because otherwise this is my shot kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03

And I think that's confidence is huge when it comes to like a relationship. I've I uh like dated someone that it was fine, and then towards the end of our relationship, it he started to show some like insecurity, and it really reflects onto your whole relationship, it kind of puts it into like a hold. And it's it's like, Where are you? Ten minutes later again, where are you? Ten minutes again, where are you? I'm like, I'm with my best friends that I've known since middle school. What's the problem with that? And it's just it becomes annoying and it becomes um possessive, like you said. The insecurity really shows and it reflects onto people's relationships and it ruins relationships.

SPEAKER_01

Also, who's that kind of time? Yeah, just oh what are you doing? What are you doing? Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I'm busy.

SPEAKER_03

Also, why do you have that time to make me?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like shouldn't you be like working or something? Yeah, I don't think to do.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'm like, this is a little bit of immaturity mixed with insecurity, and I just can't do it, and I ended it. I'm like, I can't do this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

How long did you guys date for?

SPEAKER_03

It wasn't long, like four months. But still, and within I would say within even like people disagree with this, within like two weeks of knowing someone, that you kind of just know already what you're working with with a person, but obviously over time different colors show when you go through different experiences together.

SPEAKER_01

Um, I mean it also depends on I think you get better at reading people over time. Yeah. Like when I was like first dating, I was like everything it was just the first impression, like, this is great, and it's always gonna be great, and they're never gonna do anything bad. And then like you go through a couple, and then you're like, okay, I can kind of read what type of person you are, yeah, you know, from the jump a little bit better.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like growing up, I've had the gift of kind of being able to read people pretty well. Um, like if my parents were ever friends with someone that I didn't agree with, I would tell them, like, when I was like 10 years old, I don't like these people.

SPEAKER_00

Interesting.

SPEAKER_03

Those people end up doing them dirty, and I'm like, and then they're like, How did you know when you were 10 years old? You used to tell us you didn't like them. I'm like, I know, I know. Maybe it's the Scorpio. I'm like, trust me, I know, I know everything.

SPEAKER_01

So you can you can read energy very well.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

Empathy Reading Energy And Strange Signs

SPEAKER_03

Cause I'm also like an empath, so I I really feel other people's emotions too when I'm around them. And some people I have to separate myself from them because if you're so so down and so sad, I want to help you, but also sometimes it's hard for me to differentiate if that's my sadness or your sadness. And then I just have to like separate for a little bit. I'm like, you need to stay away a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, being an empath, it's a beautiful thing because it's beautiful, but difficult.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like you can connect with people very easily, you are able to be there very easily for people where some people have a lot of trouble um being there for somebody and knowing what to do, and they just feel awkward, you know. So you have that gift, but it can also be a burden, it can also be something that you carry on your shoulders and can be very difficult.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, definitely. Um you really feel that emotion of other people, and it's it's difficult until you until you acknowledge it, it's really difficult to know the difference between like your emotions and someone else's and like the feelings. Because it's really weird. Sometimes like my friend will be on the other side of the world, my best friend, and I wouldn't have talked to her for like a month. And I'll just call her one day and she'll go, Hi, how are you doing? I miss you. I go, What's wrong?

SPEAKER_01

You know, I go, what's wrong?

SPEAKER_03

She goes, How did you know? Every time, how did you know? I go, I know you. What's wrong?

SPEAKER_01

Crazy.

SPEAKER_03

All the time.

SPEAKER_01

And she's just like, Are you psychic? Like, no, I'm a Scorpio bitch.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Come at me.

SPEAKER_03

Sometimes I think I am psychic. I don't know. Yeah. Like recently, I had um a dream like two days ago. Do you have weird dreams? I've been having some weird dreams.

SPEAKER_01

I don't have dreams very often. It's very hard to have a dream, but I get some really weird, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I get some really weird dreams when I do get dreams. And so I had a dream like two days ago where someone died. And I was like, I was like, oh, I woke up, I was like, this it really didn't feel right the whole day. You know, sometimes you get a really bad dream and you feel weird the whole day. And then um, but before that, I forgot I left out that like a day before that, I was thinking of this activist woman, woman that I met. Um I met her twice. I met her once in middle school, and I met her once in high school. My school, they took us to Alabama to um on a civil rights trip. And so I met this activist, uh, amazing woman. Her name's Joanne Bland. And I was just thinking about her, I was like brushing my teeth the other day, just thinking, oh Joanne, what a nice woman. What a nice lady. She is she makes such a change in this in this world. And then then I had that dream that someone died, and I was like, that's weird, and I didn't know who it was. And then the next day, yesterday, um, I was driving and I saw a crow in the middle of the road, and it was like acting really, really weird. And I was like, it was almost like it was announcing that someone's about to die. And then I was like, that gave me chills. I was like, what the hell? You know, crows are creepy, right? And they say like it's a symbol of death, right? And then I go to sleep. Wake up this morning, I get a text from my middle school teacher. Middle school teacher, have not talked to her in years, in our group chat from middle school. Hi guys, unfortunately, sent a whole article. Uh she died.

SPEAKER_01

The girl you're thinking about.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Crazy.

SPEAKER_03

And I was like, oh my god. I I was in my bed straight in the morning, like 7 a.m. I'm like, on my phone. That was the first thing I see. And I said to myself out loud, I was like, no way, no way, this cannot be real. Cause obviously coincidences happen, but that was like too much. That was it's freaky sometimes, right? The things that like when we're in tune with the universe and different things are like you know something's about to happen, right?

SPEAKER_01

That's wild.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Do you

Manifestation Acting Breakthroughs And Career Moves

SPEAKER_01

believe in manifestation?

SPEAKER_03

I do.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What have you manifested in your life?

SPEAKER_03

Um I would say I manifested a couple different things. Oh, recently I manifested going to Utah for the past year. For the past year, I was telling my parents, I want to go to Utah. And I was like, I don't know why. I just keep seeing it on TikTok and I see these gorgeous hikes, and I'm like, I'm like, I want to go to Utah. My dad's like, you're not going to Utah. I'm like, I want to go alone. I'm gonna go alone to Utah. He's like, you're not going alone anywhere. And so then recently our family friends invited us to go to Utah. I was like, yes, Utah.

SPEAKER_01

Like it worked.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, first time you're talking about it.

SPEAKER_01

Uh TikTok convinced you to manifest a degree trip to Utah.

SPEAKER_03

Also, I was seeing like Utah license plates everywhere. I don't know if it's just because like when you pay attention to something, you see it everywhere.

SPEAKER_05

Could be.

SPEAKER_03

But that was one thing. I would say something more serious is I've been doing like acting since I was really little, since I was like three, four years old. And um always wanted to be in a commercial movie, something like that. And um actually, like at around this time a year ago, I was cast for my first commercial. Um thank you. Yeah, for Turtle Beach. So I'm on like Target's website for Turtle Beach headphones. Hey, so yeah, so that was pretty cool. That was a cool experience.

SPEAKER_01

How did you get it? Did you uh do you have an agent? Did you just find it, networking?

SPEAKER_03

Um, I applied myself on uh like this app casting networks.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, nice, nice, yeah, awesome. Well, hey, congrats. The first step in the right direction.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and so I feel like after that things just started moving in the right direction more and more.

SPEAKER_01

So and are you more pumped for acting or modeling or both?

SPEAKER_03

Both.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting.

SPEAKER_03

Definitely both, because I've been acting since I was so young. So I'm kind of done with like the theater, um, like the beauty and the beast, Oliver Twist. I did all of those. I'm like, I f I say I'm retired from those because I'm just kind of I need something new. But and so I think um modeling has come in like the past two years, and I really enjoy it because I also love the aspect of like there's the part of collaboration there, um, where like oh this doesn't look good, you need to move this way, or do you think this clothing piece needs to

Modeling As A Real Skill

SPEAKER_03

be styled a different way and you can work together to make something amazing? So I really love that as well.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting. Yeah, I've never the part of moat modeling. I never understood is okay. So the first like really beautiful I date girl I dated when I came to LA for the first time, um, she did modeling and she had a uh actually in the OC, she had a like shoot down there, and it was with like some like company, she was like, I don't know if this is sketchy or not, Zach. Like, can you come with me? So I'm like, Yeah, sure. So we drive down to to Orange County, and it was like a long shoot. It was like eight hours long. Oh wow, and I'm just sitting there on my phone, you know, I'm just watching her, and she goes in the room, puts clothes on, angle, angle, angle, angle, angle, boom, next to the clothes pose, same five poses, and did that for eight hours. And I remember thinking, like, is this fun? Because that was her dream, like become a model, you know what I mean. I'm like, you're doing modeling, but like, is this enjoyable?

SPEAKER_03

It is for me at least, it's really fun. It's really fun. I get how some people, I guess, wouldn't think it's fun, just like they would think of it as kind of just standing there, but there is that like adrenaline of you have to enjoy something. Like, when you love it, some people won't love it. Of course, there's different things, different people like um, I really enjoy it. Um by the end of the day, though, you get really tired. Yeah, you get tired, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's yeah, people don't understand because like when I had my company in the modeling industry, I really saw it like firsthand. Like, people don't understand that modeling is a skill.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And people think, oh, you just have to be hot. I'm like, you also have to be really hot, but you have to know how to like make your face look a certain way, yep. And not be awkward, and like not have like what do I do with my hands? Like, you have to like walk in a certain way, and there's like all these very like subtle skills that you wouldn't notice unless you've been around the modeling industry and you see someone who's like, Oh, I can tell that's like a new model. She doesn't really know what she's doing yet. She's working on it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like saying yes to test shoots when you're just like a beginner, like with different model uh different uh photographers that want to just like experience uh experiment, sorry, different things, um, different shoots. Of course, be careful, be safe. But it's always good to like get different experience because you always learn, like in the beginning, I remember I was like, I looked so mad in my first photo shoot. And I showed it to my mom and I was so proud, but then I showed it to my mom, she's like, Why do you look so mad? And I was like, Oh, and then my second photo shoot with a different photographer, he told me loosen your jaw a little bit. So those little those really subtle things, like it really changes it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's a lot of little microfacial expressions, yeah, a lot of like getting yourself in a certain head space to be able to like it in a way is like acting. Yeah, it's like you have to like become not a character, but you are kind of becoming a character to be able to portray a certain emotion to the Yeah, and you need the confidence to make these certain faces and to just know what would look good.

SPEAKER_03

Like, even in acting when you're crying, obviously when you like cry it's not gonna look good. Like, obviously, there's ugly cry.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So you have to know how to cry and make it look beautiful. And it's so yeah, it's hard. It's hard. And I know there's this um guy follow, he's they say he's like the Simon Cowell of modeling. His name's like uh his name's Brandon Andre. And um he actually had a point, he talked about this before, that you don't tell someone to go just play soccer that doesn't know how to play soccer, right? You don't tell them to just go be a pro soccer player, right? And then people don't understand that like people need experience with modeling, it's not just about being hot, like you said, or attractive, and people really don't get it, they just don't get it. You can tell them so many times and they won't get it,

Pretty Privilege Rumors And Girl Drama

SPEAKER_03

yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, even just like the lifestyle in general, being like in one of these industries. I remember you know, I come from Wisconsin, I grew up there. Okay, and so like coming to LA, like the Wisconsin attitude is just like you think, oh, if you're a like beautiful girl in LA, just your life's super easy, you know what I mean? Like, and I remember the like one of the first girls that I dated who was very beautiful, and you know, at first it's like you see from the outside she's getting flown out on private jets to Milan for fashion week, and she's like free trip to Toulum, all like all these things, celebrities in her DMs, you know. But like seeing her life behind the curtain, where it's like, man, you never know like what guys you can trust and what guys secretly just want to sleep with you, and even worse, what girls you can trust, and what girls will be nice to your face, but just secretly praying for your downfall behind your back.

SPEAKER_03

That's the scary thing. That's worse than guys. It's honestly kind of worse.

SPEAKER_01

It's like she literally had like there's this rumor that was going around about her at some point, and it was going on for like two, three months, and she'd come home every day crying. She like it was really hurting her, and you know, I'm trying to be there for her, and we're trying to figure out like how did this get started, like who we found out it was her best friend, her ride or die.

SPEAKER_00

You would think there's no way this is the girl who backstabbed her.

SPEAKER_01

And it's just like it's so crazy to see that like people think everything's just easy peasy. Yeah, and it's like, no, it's actually like very challenging and like a struggle to deal with.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And actually, growing up, I wasn't really friends with many girls growing up. I wasn't really close with any girls until like three years ago, three, four years ago. Um actually a little bit longer, maybe like five years ago. But I wasn't close with any girls because I never felt included. I always had like my two guy best guy friends that they're like my brothers. They're they're literally my family. And um that was it. It was just me, Ben, and Ma'or. It was like the three of us, just besties since second grade. So yeah, I and I felt like girls were always being very trying to start drama on things that were so unnecessary. Like especially especially little girls can like little kids can be so mean. They don't mean it, but they can. And um I don't even know what I was saying there. I lost my track.

SPEAKER_01

Did you get did you get bullied in middle school at all?

SPEAKER_03

Um, there was one girl that bullied me. And I remember we had to do like a I think it was Valentine's Day where you did like a gift exchange, something like that. One of those days where everyone in the class like did a I think it was like a secret Santa something. And I got her and I got her something, and I remember I overheard her. I was like behind her, and I overheard her opening my gift, and she was like talking shit. And that hurt me. I was like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it feels like shit.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'm like, I'm I'm a nice person for you to be mean to me. Like, why are you being mean to me? What did I do to you?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And uh it that comes out of jealousy and also insecurity, so unfortunately, some people just they take it out on others, and you just have to know how to not take it personally. But it's easier said than done, of course, because it's gonna hurt. Yeah, it's always gonna hurt.

SPEAKER_01

You seem like you are pretty well adjusted though. You seem like you took the bad things in your life and kind of made a positive out of them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because like I said, it's all part of you, it's all part of what makes you you, and I'm happy with who I am.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Loneliness Friendship Tests And Piano Therapy

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I had kind of a rock bottom moment in um so I got made fun of a lot in high school because my family was broke and we'd have like hand-me-downs, like and it was my cousins, so they're like way too big because my cousins were kind of bigger than us, you know what I mean? Yeah, so we got made fun of a lot at school. So I was super pumped for college because I was like, okay, college, I new start, I have no reputation, I'm just gonna be the cool, popular social guy, have a lot of friends, that kind of thing. So I had this rule my first did you go to college?

SPEAKER_03

I'm in college, yeah. Oh, you're in college right now.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, do you stay in the dorms or no?

SPEAKER_03

You're no, I live at home. Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_01

So I was in the dorms, you know, where they have all the rooms and stuff. And I had this rule, I was like, okay, anytime there's an open door, I'm gonna walk in, introduce myself. Hey, what's up? I'm Zach, try to make new friends, right? And this is gonna sound weird, but I would get like really nervous. Like, I'd be like in my room, like, all right, Zach, let's go, time to make friends. Like he was like kind of weird, you know what I mean? Okay, and so every day I would go in people's rooms and kind of like say what's up. But the problem was I was still awkward because at that time in my life I didn't really develop social skills yet.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So, like instead of becoming the cool popular kid on the floor, I kind of became like the weird kid who would come into your room and be awkward. You know what I mean? So this one Friday, it was in the winter, I remember, and I hated the weekends because the weekdays, I would just be like, you know, I'm here to study, I'm not here to make friends. I could like mentally get myself out of that space. But on the weekends, partying. Yeah, everybody's partying, you hear the laughing through the walls and the music, and everybody's having fun, and I just be alone in my room. So one night I had to go to the bathroom, and my dorm was all the way on one end of the hallway. Okay, and the bathroom was all the way on the other end. Okay, so if I had to go to the bathroom, I'd always walk. Yeah, and I'd go really fast because I didn't want people to like know that I was sitting there alone, right? So this Friday I walked really fast, went to the bathroom, and as I was coming back, there was like the cool kids' room, and I'm about to walk past their door, and I hear somebody in the room, they're like, Oh, does anybody know that Zach kid? And so I like pause before the door because I don't want them to know I heard them, you know. And someone else in the room was like, Yeah, he's super weird. He just like comes into my room randomly, and they all like start laughing, and then they're like, Oh, he came into my room too, and like all this kind of stuff. And like, I don't know why I cared. Because like, who cares what these random people say, but but it hurts in the room. Yeah, but then I was kind of trapped out of my room because like I didn't want to cross the door and have them see me. Uh-huh. So I ended up going to the basement of the dorms, and they have like, you know, pool table, ping pong table, and in the back corner they had this piano room. Oh, and it was just this like closet with like a little piano that you could play in it, and I just sat there and I played for like six hours until I just looked so tired, I just went back to my room.

SPEAKER_03

You sound like me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I had, yeah. Yeah, so then every day after class, I just go to that fucking room and I just play and play and play and play, and now that's what I do for a living. I do piano videos on YouTube. So it's like it kind of like maybe things happen for a reason, you know?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But what's your piano experience?

SPEAKER_03

I actually had something very similar that when COVID hit, I didn't really see myself like going out with people much anymore. Well, because nobody was going out, of course. But I mean after COVID, right after when everyone started to go out. Um, and I felt like people were starting to use me for my car, like everyone was starting everyone was starting to drive. Yeah. And I was the first one kind of to drive, and people were like, Oh, you want to hang out? But really, they just want me to drive them to get cookies, and then the second everyone else got their cars, no one called me anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Ah, interesting.

SPEAKER_03

And I just remember being so like so depressed about it and so so upset. I felt like I couldn't talk to people. I felt like I literally didn't know how to make friends. Like like you said, I didn't know how to talk to people.

SPEAKER_01

Because here you are thinking all these people are your friends.

SPEAKER_03

I yeah, and I w I told my dad I was I would cry to my dad, I'm like, I don't know how to talk to people. I don't. But and I think that's also a really big development thing of just like growing up, like even in college, people um go through this, of course. Um, and I went through it in high school. And then one day we had a dinner party at my house, and this woman ended up saying yes last minute, I guess, to like a bartending job at my house. Um and she's not even a bartender, she's a music teacher, and she said yes last minute, she's like, Yeah, why not? Her friend like referred her something, and my mom ended up being glued to her the whole night. And they were talking, talking, talking, and I was gifted this a hundred-year-old piano when I was a baby. Our neighbor, he was like a very famous pianist, and he gifted it to my father to give to me when I was when I'm older. And he said, This is for Milan to play when she's older. And so it was always sitting in like the corner of our house, and when I was younger, maybe like five, I don't know how old I was, really young. I had this Russian piano teacher hardcore. She would slap my hands if I did something wrong. She would make me go to the bathroom, put cold water on my face if I felt tired. She would make sure the water was like freezing cold. So I never wanted to touch the piano again.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Then, fast forward to that night, my mom was glued to this woman, ended up being that she's a piano teacher. So then I ended up, I don't know what happened, I ended up having a lesson with her. And from that day forward, Lucy Walsh, she changed my life. From playing the piano, it honestly changed my life. I would find myself, she would leave after my one-hour lesson, and I would sit there for three more hours. And it's just you get lost in it, and it's like a free therapy. It is music, it's really it's therapy. I agree. And we're so lucky to have music in our life. I feel like some people that don't have music they don't um understand, they don't appreciate it as much. And it's really, it's really, really special to have. Yeah. So I think that was similar, kind of it is similar. It's kind of crazy, actually.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, it's really the only thing when I'm like super stressed. It's like, yeah, you could scroll TikTok, you could like watch Netflix, but that's not really good for you. Yeah, and also then your mind just kind of drifts anyway. But when you're like in the music and you're learning a song or you're just letting yourself go and being free with it, it's like nothing beats that. I don't know anything in the world that beats that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and it it really it like I would say it like saved my life, truly. Because I don't know what I would have done, and that and then speaking to her, it opened me up to different things, and then I ended up finding these amazing girlfriends. I call them my three wives.

SPEAKER_01

You have three wives, I have three wives.

SPEAKER_03

If you ever date me, just know I have three wives. Yeah, um, it's a deal breaker, but and you met them in school or would you? Yeah, I met them in high school. One of them I know I knew since childhood, but we only really became close in high school. Yeah, yeah, that happens. And so, yeah, so the three of us are really good friends. Um, but the piano is very special, and I think that was a very big part of it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah. I think it's it's very difficult growing up where you hit this certain point where it's like when you're little, everybody's just friends because like you're everything's rainbows, yeah. Like nobody really understands being insecure, like nobody's insecure, you're just like running around the room, you know what I mean? And then there's like this age where all of a sudden it's like you gotta figure everything out, you know, to have something like piano to help you get through that. I think it's huge. Yeah, I think also having a solid group of friends, which especially for girls, I find to be very rare, especially in LA. Yeah, because I think it's just such a competitive scene. And it's on top of that, being an attractive girl, you have a lot of opportunities, you're always getting invited to things, you're getting swept up in, you know. So um, I'm glad you found your your crew.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, finally, lucky me. Yeah, a lot of people, it takes them their whole life. Some people don't never find it. Yeah, yeah. Um, but I'm very, very thankful. I tell them like every day how much

Status Chasing Being Weird And Self Respect

SPEAKER_03

yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think too, it's you have to be the type of person who can have friends.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Meaning, like, I can't tell you how many times in LA there's like a girl that I know who's, oh, I want to go to this party because Chris Brown's gonna be there, or whatever, fill in the blank. I'm like, Chris Brown hasn't been relevant since like 2005. Like, you know what I mean? Like he's at like he's at parties all the time, like who cares?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And you know, some of her friends can't get in because he they have like strict, you know, oh, you're not hot enough, you're whatever. Yeah, and it's like I would see her ditch her real friends to go to a party because whatever celebrity is gonna be there.

SPEAKER_03

And then I've seen people do that.

SPEAKER_01

It was interesting because she had her birthday, and she's like, Oh, can I use the house for my birthday? And I'm like, Yeah, like people always ask to use the house and stuff. I'm like, Yeah, for sure. So she comes in like 5 p.m. She has all these decorations, she has like bottles of alcohol. Like, I'm like helping her like out of her trunk, like carrying these like huge crates of alcohol.

SPEAKER_03

So big party's about to happen.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, she's like, Oh, there's like 120 people on the list, and like I'm so excited, it's gonna be so great. Yeah, and then you know, 10 p.m. hits, and like a couple people kind of come in, and then 11 hits, and it's like, oh, they'll come later, you know. Oh it's like so few people came, and to be honest with you, almost everybody that came was like dudes who were trying to hook up with her. Yeah, like it wasn't her friends, you know what I mean? And yeah, you know, I felt bad for her at the time, but there's also some level of like personal responsibility to say, like, hey, if you continue to prioritize, you know, being cool or getting status or clout over genuine friendships, then this is what's gonna happen to you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and I would be called like weird growing up, and honestly, now like someone calls me weird, I'm like, hell yeah, I'm weird.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you're like, thank you. I mean thank you.

SPEAKER_03

I wanna be weird. I don't want to be plain and boring. Weird is great. I go, I go sit in a rock on a rock in a rock. I go sit on a rock at the beach and I sit by myself and write and I draw and I enjoy time by myself. Yeah, I'm weird. That's great.

SPEAKER_00

I wouldn't that weird. I thought it was gonna be way weirder.

SPEAKER_03

I don't

Martial Arts AI And Introvert Energy

SPEAKER_03

know. Like, I I do martial arts. I've been doing it since I was three years old. People are like, did you do karate? Oh my god, and I did that when I was two years old, and I got like yellow belt. I'm like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So you can fight, huh?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah. I've I I won two tournaments this year. I'm crazy. Participated in two tournaments within one week, and I won first place in both.

SPEAKER_01

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Um so you're black belt. I'm about to be black belt.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I'm right before black belt, but I did start to help out teaching, so it's really great. I get to teach little kids and also help out with like the adults. So working with different people, different ages. That's what I was saying again. Different interactions with people, just interactions with people is so important, especially with AI. AI like going to take over everything. Um, that's something it can never take away. Yeah. Your interactions with people and your different experiences, it can never take that away.

SPEAKER_01

Although there's a lot of people that are trying to make apparently it's starting to have like emotions. Yeah, I've seen some stuff on Instagram, you know, probably fake, but you never know.

SPEAKER_03

Real or AI.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I just wonder like once they create like a robot girlfriend.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

That like if they create one that looks real, yeah. I remember just thinking, like, how many dudes out there are never going to talk to a human female again?

SPEAKER_03

Too many.

SPEAKER_01

And they're just gonna sit in their basement and play Call of Duty and Fortnite and fucking eat Doritos and and talk to their robot girlfriend. Like, it's gonna be like it's probably like 40% of the population at this point.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's like Wally. I don't know if you ever watched it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Wally. It's like Wally.

SPEAKER_03

That movie used to scare me so much, and I was like, Oh, I'm like, how did these people allow themselves to get like this? It's so scary. It's kind of where it's getting like that. It's scary. Yeah, it's really scary.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Would you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?

Anxiety Control And Why She Avoids Alcohol

SPEAKER_03

I would say I'm a mix of both because I'm the type of person sometimes you kind of have to push me to like go hang out with like go to a party, go to do these things. If I haven't been out in so long, I'll be asking my friends, let's go out, something. But most of the time, like they have to ask me. And I prefer to be alone at home or like on my rock. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So you're probably an introvert mostly. Mostly introvert.

SPEAKER_03

Introvert wait, introverted, extrovert? Yeah or is it those are the two, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Introverted, extroverted. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. You when I first met you, you came off as very introverted.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I feel like I'm very close.

SPEAKER_01

You have a very like grounded side to your personality. You do come across as very confident when I like get to know you. You know what I mean? Thank you. And I think it's um maybe not super apparent from the get-go. Yeah. Because you are more quiet.

SPEAKER_03

That's why I'm like, just give me a chance, get to know me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because I I don't even do it on purpose. It's just kind of if I don't know you, like I'm not gonna come give you a big hug. I don't know. Like, some people are like that. Great for you, great for you.

SPEAKER_01

You don't come off as somebody that would have anxiety necessarily, but you come across like someone who might tend to overthink things sometimes.

SPEAKER_03

I've had anxiety.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03

Thank God that's in the past. Okay. Um, but I don't know, I just used to get like really anxious about things, but that's because of overthinking. Because I would just like overthink things, and a lot of the times growing up, I would like bottle things up. And I think that's a Scorpio trick where you like bottle things up and bottle, bottle, bottle until you can't breathe and then you explode. And that's not a good thing. I've learned to stop doing that. Um, but yeah, I am very like to myself.

SPEAKER_01

What would what triggers anxiety in you?

SPEAKER_03

I feel like not having control over certain things. Like, I don't need to be, oh, I'm in control over you, and you can do whatever you want. But I feel like in certain situations, that's why I don't drink. That's a big part of why I don't drink.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I've never been drunk in my life. I know I'm not of whatever yet, but people drink, people go to parties, people go to clubs. I've never been drunk. I don't find the need to. I'm like, I have so much fun, and people think I'm drunk. People think I'm so drunk, I'm not at all. I'm not at all. And uh, but I think the like control thing is I've had certain scenarios where even before that that's where I went to like the bomb shelter, before that, way before that, I'm like, God forbid, someone has a seizure, something happens. I'm always thinking of everything. I'm like, I need to know I can drive my car. I can drive my car and I can get out of here whenever I want, go wherever I need, go home, do this, do that. So all my friends, everyone I know calls me mom. I'm like, I'm always taking care of everyone. Like, oh, you need chopstick here. Oh, you need this here. I have like in my bag, in my car. You need a jacket here, a band-aid here. Um, and then like when everyone's drunk, I just like take care of them all. I it it's not my responsibility. I don't need to do anything, but as a good friend, I'm just like, I'm taking you guys to Chick-fil-A and making sure you all eat right now and you all get water before you go home, that you're all good, and I'm making sure you get in your bed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's very sweet of you. Yeah, do your friends uh do they notice it? Do they appreciate it? Or are they just so drunk that's right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, one no no one time my best friend actually she was like talking to me and she goes, she calls her mom, like just mom. And she she went to me and she was like, Mom, and I was like, We both kind of paused. She was like, Wait, why do I actually think you're my mom? She's like, Why did I actually she goes, I actually just called you mom.

SPEAKER_01

It's like when uh It wasn't like as a joke, you know, like in kindergarten where like you can't you call your teacher mom on accident, yeah, because you've been hanging out, it's like kind of like that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and we paused and we laughed about it. She's like, why do I actually think you're my mom?

SPEAKER_01

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but I love it. I love taking care of people.

Drinking Social Anxiety And Healthy Coping

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, it's interesting what you said about drinking because like so. I drink now, but I don't really get like fucked up. Maybe like a couple times a year. Um, but when I was in my early 20s, I would definitely drink, and 100% was because I had social anxiety. Okay, and it was like instead of kind of facing my fears, I would just like to do it.

SPEAKER_03

I think a lot of people they're like, I need this to interact with people.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. And it becomes something where they're unable to interact with people unless they have some kind of alcoholism. Exactly, you know, and then like I remember thinking we took that like DARE program. I don't know if you guys had that, like the drugs, drugs and alcohol resistance program.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. In Wisconsin, we had this thing, it was like this whole like unit on like why drugs are bad and bad. Yeah, that kind of thing. And I remember thinking, like, as a kid, like, how could anybody like get addicted to these things? Like, just don't do it. Like, it's you know, it's so obvious. Like, look how you know they tell you all the stories. Look, this person ruined their life from alcohol, this person ruined their life from drugs, whatever. And then, like, as I got older, I was like, Oh, I get it. Because you're and then you try it, you try it, it becomes a crutch, and then oh fuck, I'm gonna like be meeting a lot of new people tonight. I should probably have a drink, and then you have another one, and then I could see how it becomes a thing for people.

SPEAKER_03

And also, life becomes harder when you're an adult compared to a kid, of course. Yeah, life becomes harder, and people want to suppress that with drugs, with alcohol, with whatever they want. I I suppress it with running. Oh, yeah, that's a healthier way. I go on really long runs. Oh, it's great, it's great. Yeah, but um, I I don't judge anyone. Like, if they want to drink, if they want to do whatever, that's your thing. Um personally, when people do like drugs, I'm like maybe stay away a little bit. I don't really need to surround myself with people like that. But um when it comes to drinking, you do you. If you need to use it to socialize, go ahead. Just be aware of what you're doing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's not my doing, that's your life. That's not my life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it is fun. I'm sure it's fun. I'm sure it's fun. Yeah. If you use it in the right way, obviously. Yeah. That's funny.

Creative Coaching Reflection And Do It Now

SPEAKER_01

Um, have you ever gone to therapy or have anything like that? Uh what's your opinion on it?

SPEAKER_03

I have not, but I feel like um my music teacher, she's also um my acting coach and um she's my vocal coach. Everything creative. So she's kind of also my life coach.

SPEAKER_04

I see.

SPEAKER_03

So sometimes we sit there for our lesson, and if I was going through a breakup, if I was going through a hard day, if whatever was going on in my life, she always always starts by asking me, How are you doing? What's going on, what's new? And if something's great, okay, something's great. If something's bad, something's bad. But sometimes we take the whole lesson, the whole hour, just sitting and talking and figuring it out and figuring out what's the root, what's the why, what's the this, what's that. Because it all goes into your art. And people don't think about that.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting.

SPEAKER_03

So many people want to be actresses, actors, singers, and they don't look inside, they don't reflect inwards, and that's something so so huge, I think, that people need to start to do because they just think, Oh, you can sing and do this, but you need to put your heart into it, you need to put yourself into it, you need to put all of you into it. You need like in acting, how are you gonna know? How are you gonna have a character that's like going through a breakup? And you're just gonna say, Oh, well, they're going through a breakup. You need to find a way to relate to them somehow. You need to reflect inwards, you need to say, How would I feel? And how would and then apply that. You need to apply it in different ways.

SPEAKER_01

Because it has to feel real to you to make it translate on the screen.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so like authentic. And people don't understand that they think they can just read words off of paper. And I'm sure many people do, and some it looks great for them, but I think it's very important to reflect inwards, and that's a big part of the job, that's a big part of the work to look inwards and understand yourself. Because under understanding yourself is such a huge part of life. And some people go on till they're 80 years old, and that's why people have middle life middle life crisis. Yeah, midlife crisis. Because they're like, wait, I don't know who I am.

SPEAKER_01

Happens all the time.

SPEAKER_03

And I wanted to do this, I wanted to do that. No, do it now, do it now. I wanted to, I did karate when I was three years old till like 13, and then COVID hit. I stopped for like five, six years, and then we moved to Newport Beach like three years ago, and like like a year ago, I went to my dad, I said, I want to go back into karate. That day, that day I went, I found a new dojo. I started karate again.

SPEAKER_01

Good for you.

SPEAKER_03

That day. Oh, I wish I went to Paris.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I wish I did this. Why didn't you do it? You could have done it. Yeah, you can do anything you want. Literally, you can do anything you want.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. The tomorrow becomes an eternity. It's always I'll do it tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03

And that's the big thing too of like having a near-death experience. You never, you really like it, hits you that that sentence of you never know if you'll have tomorrow. You really don't. You really, really don't. So really like take every moment. If you find yourself doom scrolling, stop. Look at yourself, say, why am I doing this? and go be more productive if you can. I mean, I find myself doom scrolling too sometimes, of course. But if you can find yourself and find that point to stop and reflect and go do something else that's more productive with your time, then that's great. Yeah.

Where To Find Milan Online

SPEAKER_01

Awesome. Well, Milan, this has been fun. Any uh any shout-outs you want to give, any social media accounts? Where can people find you?

SPEAKER_03

Um my Instagram is at Milan Chaim, Milanheim, um, M I L A N C H A I M. Um, and my TikTok is I'm not Milan One.

SPEAKER_01

That's great. Awesome. Well, this has been fun. We'll have to do a round two sometime.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, thank you so much. It was really great.

SPEAKER_01

Thanks for watching.