Furry, Explained with Finn the Panther

[LEGACY] Why You Shouldn't Come Out as a Furry and How to Explain What Furries Are

• Finn the Panther • Episode 21

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In this week's episode, we explain why you should not come out as a furry! It's true, there are a lot of members of the furry fandom who may be afraid to tell others about it. But many still want to tell those people and because of the potential backlash, may frame their disclosure as something similar to coming out about their non-straight or cis sexual or gender identity. But in most cases, this is actually a bad idea for a variety of different reasons. So in this episode, we go over some of the reasons why you should not "come out" as a furry, and explain some strategies that may be a lot more effective when telling others about your furry fandom membership!

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Welcome to Furry, Explained! I’m Finn, a big black cat from the internet and Furry, Explained is my show about furries and their culture. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been having a lot of fun talking with you on this show for the past couple of weeks. We’ve talked about meeting other furries in person, we took a look at the first ever furry convention and of course, last week we had a 20 minute conversation about owo, which I still am surprised was even possible. And this is good; I want to have fun with you on this show, and I especially want you to enjoy the time that you take out of your day to spend with me. But one thing you should know about me is that I don’t like to sugarcoat things, and I’d be lying if I said that today’s episode is going to continue to be as amusing as the last few. Because today we’re going to talk about something that I think is actually pretty serious: the idea of coming out as a furry. Now some of you may not be familiar with this idea and if you aren’t, that’s actually a good thing because you’re probably already going to agree with a majority of the points made in this episode. But for many people, especially those who may not be as public about their furry fandom membership as others, some of them feel the need to come out as a furry to their friends or family, similar to how someone would come out about their gender or sexual identity to those same groups of people. Now let’s get something straight here: We’re not here to judge people for the actions they may want to do with their lives. Everyone has their own and generally good reasons to believe they should come out as a furry. But, if you haven’t guessed by the tone of how I’m talking here, I think that coming out as a furry is not a good idea —> in fact, I think it's a really bad idea. And that’s what we’re going to be discussing in this episode: why there’s no reason to come out as a furry. This episode might sound a lot more opinionated than usual, but I’m going to do my best to explain why coming out as a furry is a bad idea, and if someone is hesitant to tell others about their interest in anthropomorphic animals, I want to provide some strategies that I think are a lot more effective towards communicating something that you’re interested in, in a way that’s a lot more safe and more importantly, a lot less serious than framing it as “coming out” may make it seem. Welcome to Furry, Explained, and we’ll get started right here.

If you’re listening to this the day or week this comes out, it’ll be the month of June in 2021. Which means, at least where I live in the United States, it’s Pride Month! Pride Month, for those who don’t know, is the month-long celebration of those in the LGBTQ+ community and their allies, with special activities and events promoting the visibility of the members of the community and their struggles, typically culminating in a large parade or weekend festival in cities around the country. Now I don’t want to digress too much, but many people may use Pride Month as a chance to come out to their friends and family. They may feel that the support that Pride Month offers gives them that last motivational push they need to finally be proud about who they really are, and more importantly, let people who are close to them in their lives know about it as well. Now I’m explaining this context for two reasons: one is to show that no, the timing of this episode coming out now is not a coincidence; I’ve been sitting on it for a while actually. But more importantly, it gives the context of why my argument going forward in this episode is centered around why coming out as a furry, is not something that those who may feel hesitant about telling other people about their fandom membership should do.
Now you know me, I’m very pragmatic when it comes to this show. Any point I make here is not without evidence to back it up, and I deal with things on a very sensible level, for better or for worse. Which is why when I just look at the phrase “coming out as a furry,” it straight up doesn’t make sense to me from a logical perspective. I’ll do my best to show you what I mean, let’s break that phrase down into its two halves. The first half of that phrase is “coming out,” and let’s define and explore what those two words mean in this context. We’ve briefly mentioned it before, but when someone comes out, it means they are being public about themselves being a sexual orientation or gender that is not straight or cigender, respectively. And, if you know anything about the LGBTQ+ community, you know that doing something like that is a big deal that, depending on that person’s particular situation, could potentially be a very perilous proposition. Now I’m lucky enough to live in a country where identifying as something that is not straight or cis isn’t punishable by death, which sadly cannot be said for many, many other places around the world, where liking the same gender or not identifying with the sexual orientation you were assigned at birth could get you killed. People in those areas of the world might never come out, which has its own set of psychological issues that we’ll get to later down the line. But even in this country, there are still many places where not being straight can put you in some serious, undesirable situations. The laws about how you can or cannot be treated as a customer based on how you identify vary wildly around this and many other countries, to the point where in some places, there isn’t any legal repercussions for someone denying you a service that you are willing and able to pay for because you’re not straight. A surprisingly large amount of states here still have bans on same-sex marriage, and even if not being straight is “legal,” there’s still so much grey area in many places that living your life normally requires all these extra steps just to make sure that it’s okay for you to not be straight in certain areas. And that’s just on the legal side, being a member of the LGBTQ+ community can be absolutely tumultuous, especially for those who are not out yet. For a variety of different reasons, religion being a particularly big one, being anything but straight could get you shunned from your family, friends, or other groups of people who may have previously felt association with. In fact that’s the whole reason for pride in a nutshell; it gives those who may no longer have a safe community to be a part of, a place to feel well… proud about who they really are. But everything previously mentioned can be the results of coming out  publicly, and a lot of them sound very scary because they are. And because of this, there are still many people, for this and many other reasons, who are not ready to come out yet, which is also commonly referred to as still being in the closet. And it’s not like those who are still in the closet are just chillin there; those who don’t come out are at a much higher risk of being anxious and depressed, which affects their everyday lives in a bunch of negative ways. And it makes sense, at the very least, it’s frustrating to pretend to be someone that you’re not day in and day out, and can just be draining to have that fear in the back of your mind that people that you’re around may not be comfortable with who you really are. Heck you can’t even do the simple things like date or laugh about your crushes without the fear of being outed.
I hope you see where I’m going with this, because now we’re going to connect all of that to the second half of our phrase here: “as a furry.” So let’s do the same thing; what is meant by the clause “as a furry?” Well we all know what a furry is, at least I hope we do, otherwise I have fundamentally failed at my job here. But let’s not stress the details too much and look at what being a furry is from a high level. The way I see it, another way to describe someone who is a furry is to call them a hobbyist, because when you boil it all the way down, being a furry is just a hobby, that’s it. And because it’s a hobby, being a furry comes with some convenient features that aren’t shared with something like your identity. First and foremost, being a furry is not permanent, meaning you can walk away from the fandom at any time without any direct or really indirect consequences whatsoever. Secondly, being a furry is in no way directly connected to your sexual preference; there’s no furry sexual identity and there’s no sexual orientation where you like only furries. And finally, it’s not illegal to be a furry. And I have nothing else to add there, you can’t be arrested → you can’t be killed for being a furry. Even though it may be a huge part of your life, even to the point where it might feel like you “identify” as a furry, it is still nowhere near your actual, built-in sexual and gender identity. Being a furry always comes second; whereas who you like or how you identify is one of the fundamental aspects of who you are as an individual on this planet. And I don’t think many people realize this but people choose to become furry. Which may seem confusing since they might not have chosen to like anthro animals, that was something in their brain that just said “hey that’s cool” without their intervention. But at the end of the day, it was their choice to take that interest and join a community with other people who also enjoy anthro animals, meaning they could have continued to enjoy the idea without actively joining the furry fandom, which I would know, I did that for four years before deciding to join the fandom myself. And sure, you might get some hate for being a furry but that’s more out of a misunderstanding of what the fandom is or due to the fact that the fandom is in fact pretty weird. In contrast, many people know exactly what being gay is, and concentrate their hate directly towards those people intentionally and intensely.
So you see what I’m saying? Just from a logical level, adding the clauses “coming out” and “as a furry” just doesn’t add up. Coming out is a big personal event regarding being public about your sexuality or gender, which is something that wasn’t previously chosen, and coming forward about it could lead to consequences of varying severity. Being a furry is nothing more than a fun hobby that you decide to participate in, which you could drop at any time and more importantly, it doesn't define who you are as an individual in any way. The levels of how intimate those two forms of identity are are completely different. In fact another way to look at it is to swap furry with any other hobby or fandom that’s out there. It sounds weird to come out as a Harry Potter fan; it would be strange to come out as an anime fan, how is furry any different? Well okay, let me relax a little bit and take a step back here because in reality, I kinda get the opposite side argument. Explaining what a furry is can be difficult, not only to define exactly what it is, but also convincing those who may think that being a furry is a big deal that it really isn’t. But despite the potential complication, there are some good strategies that can be used to explain what being a furry is and why choosing to be a part of the fandom isn’t nearly as serious as your sexual or gender identity. And that’s what we’ll get into after the break.

Part of the whole reason why this topic is even brought up in the first place is that for a lot of people, there’s some general… hesitancy when it comes to telling people that you are a member of the furry fandom. And you know what I get it, being a furry is not… normal by any stretch of the imagination and trying to convince someone that you’re interested in something that isn’t normal can be difficult, especially with the history and subsequent preconceived notions that many people have of the furry fandom itself. And I think this is why many people want to compare it to something like coming out; you’re trying to explain something about you to people that may not be approving of it, which, if you strip away all the context, kinda sounds like coming out from a sexual or gender sense as well. But we just spent the whole first half of this episode explaining why conflating the two is a bit disingenuous, but that still leaves us with the question: how should you tell people that you are a furry?
Well let me answer that question with a question… Why do you need to tell people that you’re a furry? Yes, that is a viable strategy of being open about being a furry, you’re technically not obligated to tell anyone. It is entirely possible to participate in the fandom, buy things related to furry, and go to things like meet-ups and conventions without explicitly telling anyone you’re a furry first. Instead, when you start to do those things and people ask where you’re going or why you’re doing it, then you can explain that you’re a part of the furry fandom and can go from there. And even then, you can be very matter-of-fact in your explanation as well, but more on that later. But let’s say you’re in a situation where you have to tell someone that you are a member of the furry fandom. Usually this means you want to do some activity in the fandom but need a parent or guardian’s permission or something like that, the reason really doesn't matter. From what I’ve personally seen and from the information that I have gathered, there seems to be two different strategies that are effective when it comes to telling someone who might be put off by the idea that you’re a furry, that it’s not that big of a deal. The first way is what I like to refer to as an info dump. Like the name suggests, this means to provide the person in question with detailed information about what the furry fandom really is about. You can share videos, articles, this podcast, or other material that they can sift through to come to a better understanding of what the furry fandom is, which again is nothing more than a group of people interested in the idea of anthropomorphic animals. There’s many places that you can go to for these sources, but I really like the website Furscience. I’ve been on that site many times for this very show and I really appreciate the data that they collect to back up the claims that they make about the fandom. The second strategy that you can use is basically the same thing, only instead of them reading from third party source material, you are the main source of information about the fandom. Basically, you explain what being a furry is all about yourself. If you’re comfortable with it, it can be really effective for you to be the one to explain what a furry is and why you are one. You can explain to them how it’s a fun hobby that you enjoy just like the other hobbies that you participate in, and answer any questions they may have about what being a part of the fandom really means. Also here you can present the many positives of being a furry, such as the friends that you have or can make, and the creative aspect of making something related to the fandom for others to not only enjoy, but could potentially pay you for as well. You can even mix and match between these two strategies depending on what you see fit, but no matter which way you go about it, the data or information that you present is only half of the battle. The second half is the overall tone you present that data in, and it’s basically imperative you keep a casual, relaxed tone about your furry fandom membership. The reason for this is because it keeps the idea of being a furry seem like it’s not a big deal. And even if it’s a big part of your life, if you talk about it as something casual that doesn’t define who you are, it still communicates to the other person that this is something that is nothing more than a hobby. A weird hobby sure, but nonetheless something that they can always walk away from. Keeping everything chill and casual, and not making a big fuss over “coming out” as a furry might help go a long way with whomever you’re explaining this to realize that in reality, being a furry isn’t all that serious. Oh and I don’t want to forget to mention this, because it is a big part of why people aren’t too fond of the fandom, but many people might not want someone to be a furry because of it’s close ties to the LGBTQ+ community. Now I’m only briefly mentioning this because I don’t want to recycle the content that we went over in the last episode of the Mature Series, but while it is true that a majority of furries aren’t straight, it’s in no way a part of the definition of what a furry is. If this comes up it’s important to focus on the idea that being a furry is a hobby, not an identity, and while it is true that you will almost undoubtedly interact with someone who is a part of the LGBTQ+ community, they can’t and won’t make you join that community as well, that is something that you have to figure out for yourself. Honestly I wouldn’t even bring this up if you can avoid it, but the misconception is too commonplace to ignore it entirely.
Now let me, I guess, put a disclaimer here. I am in no way guaranteeing that using these strategies will help your family, friends, or whomever be fine with you being a furry. You know those groups of people a lot better than I do, and I want to keep it that way.
Also I understand that my perspective may not be the best as well. I technically joined the fandom when I was 20, an age where in my family at least, I was more or less free to be interested in whatever I wanted, and because I’m so casual about being a furry in the first place in front of my friends, they honestly forget all the time that I’m a furry, and only remember when I make jokes at my own expense about it or wear something that’s particularly furry related. And I know it may have sounded like it, but I’m also not here to tell you what to do, at the end of the day you know what works when it comes to explaining something to your family that they may not be totally on board with. Just like with any episode of this show really, I’m here to present information and give my informed opinion on it. And my opinion is that there is no need to come out as a furry. It makes it a much bigger deal than it is, and also kinda does the inverse by softening the actual seriousness of someone coming out with their sexual and gender identity, to someone who may not be approving of it. Remember the core of being a part of this fandom is to have fun, and being a furry, while it may be a large part, is still only a part of who you are as a person. So yeah, take your fandom membership casually and enjoy the fact that you can lift any potential burden about this off of your shoulder, because there’s no need to come out as a furry.

Alright, that concludes this episode of Furry, Explained! Thank you so much for turning in and listening, I still hope you enjoyed it despite the more serious tone, and maybe learned something new today. As always if you want to continue the conversation about coming out as a furry, or have any other feedback for the show, you can find and follow me on Twitter! I’m @FinnThePanther, and a link to my Twitter is down in the show notes, along with some other resources that concur with my claim of not coming out as a furry that you should definitely check out. As always, if you like the show and want to support it, the best way to do that is to follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re on iTunes or Apple Podcasts, make sure to give the show a rating and a review as well. You can also just tell people about the show and if they don’t know where to start looking, you can point them to our little corner of the internet: furry-explained.com. Thank you so much for doing so and we’ll be back next week for another episode of Furry, Explained, but until then, stay wild out there. Peace!