Furry, Explained with Finn the Panther

[LEGACY] What are Fursuit Crushes and What to do When You Meet Yours

• Finn the Panther • Episode 27

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In this week's episode, we explain what fursuit crushes are! One of the more frivolous aspects of the furry fandom is the relationships between furries and their fursuits. This sometimes results in a small level of affection towards specific fursuits themselves, resulting in what is known as a fursuit crush! These are so popular in the fandom that many members make it their mission to meet their fursuit crush at a convention or a meetup, which sounds like fun in theory, but can go awry very easily. So in this episode, we take a look at the idea behind a fursuit crush, and go over some steps to properly approach them and enjoy their company if you ever get the chance to meet yours!

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Welcome to Furry, Explained! I’m Finn, a big black cat from the internet, and Furry, Explained is my show about furries, and their culture! So we’ve been talking a lot about fursuits recently, and I’ll be honest, I thought after the last episode about fursuit scams, we were done. I thought we had done all the research on the topic and synthesized it all into about four or five episodes up to this point, which makes up around 20% of all the episodes of this show so far. However, right after I was wrapping up researching the last episode, I stumbled upon something about fursuits that I just knew we had to have a discussion on. I honestly don’t know how or why I forgot about this, maybe it’s because we’ve spent so much time looking at how fursuits affect the overall culture of the furry fandom, and not looking at fursuits specifically. Or it could be because it was just something I never took the time to find one for myself. But today, on what should be one of our last episodes on fursuits, in this episode we’re going to be talking about fursuit crushes! We’ll take a look at what actually makes a specific fursuiter someone else’s fursuit crush, and why it’s important to understand why, despite it being considered a form of affection, having a fursuit crush isn’t all that big of a deal from a relationship standpoint. We’ll also take a look into what one should do if they ever have the opportunity to actually meet their fursuit crush, and go over things that they should, and shouldn’t do to ensure that they have a good time in their company.
Now I must say before we begin, I’m going to apologize in advance for my overall… I guess the tone of voice when going over things in this episode. Based on feedback from others and what I've gathered myself, whenever I talk about relationships or affection or other things of that nature on this show, I have a tendency to sound very… sterile about it. Which is fair, and I think I know why it happens: I tend to be a very analytical and pragmatic person by nature, and since I have no personal experience with relationships or love or anything like that, the straightforwardness of which I talk about those things might come off a little cold. But I promise you that’s just me, and I’m not trying to deprive you or anyone else from having good feelings about others that you enjoy from an emotional or relational mindset. Those kinds of feelings are just not applicable for me. So with all that in mind, let’s try to go over what fursuit crushes are. Welcome to Furry, Explained, and we’ll get started… right here!


Okay so if you’re like me a couple weeks ago, you might be asking yourself, what exactly is a fursuit crush anyway? Because this term, unlike some of the other ones we’ve gone over, is not as literal as it sounds (there’s no secret society in the fandom that goes around crushing other people’s fursuits, at least I hope not). So let’s break the term down a bit, and this time we’ll start with the second half of the two words: crush. Now if you’re a normal individual listening to this, you probably know what a crush is, and maybe had one or two when you were growing up. But if you’re like me and not a normal individual, someone who had no idea how crushes work, let me break it down for you so it makes sense going forward. If you consider someone a crush, it means you find them special in some way that makes you affectionate towards them. So, if you have a crush on someone, you feel those types of feelings for that specific person. A lot of those feelings in question are actually quite similar to having a mild romantic attraction to someone. They may give you that feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see them. They may make your heartbeat faster when you have them on your mind, which may happen often since they may be difficult to get off of your mind in the first place. Historically, crushes are some of our first tastes into how relationships work, and people tend to develop them as early as late elementary or early middle school, or whatever the equivalents are around the world. And because at that time we’re so new to how relationships work, we might have a crush on literally anyone, even A-list celebrities, and don’t care whether it's actually possible to ever be with them or even see them in real life. However, crushes aren’t just reserved for those long shots, many times we have crushes on people we know well, and they may end up being some of the first people we go out on a date with. And even if things don’t end up working out long term, they can still be people that remain in our imagination as someone who we just get good feelings about when we think of them. I say all of this to basically bring home the point that crushes are cute, fun, and for the most part, quite innocent. Again, this is the bare minimum of heightened romantic interest in someone, it’s not a strong craving to be with them or something analogous to actually falling in love with someone. Even in many cases, it’s not sexual at all either, or can be considered just a small sample of affection, but nothing more than that.
Which brings us to the second half, or actually it’s the first half in this case, of the term: fursuit. Hopefully by now we know what a fursuit is, and if you don’t or you're new here, take a listen to the many other episodes on this show that go over what fursuits are in greater detail. But when we bring fursuits into the topic of crushes, the subject of the affection actually changes, from a particular person, to a particular fursuit. Because, in essence, a fursuit crush is a particular fursuit that someone in the fandom might end up having a crush on! Now, it’s a little difficult to determine why furries may have crushes on fursuits, but that’s almost like asking why humans have crushes on other people in the first place; I’m sure there’s a detailed, scientific reason behind it, but that starts to step out of the scope of this show. But it could be due to particular aspects that are less intricate than anything like that. Someone in the fandom may just have a particular fondness to the design of the character. Even I can acknowledge the fact that some fursuits are really cute! Along with the cute design of the suit, other furs might enjoy the personality that the person underneath portrays through the suit, turning the whole fursuit into an entity that some may feel affectionate towards. Or it could be something really small and specific that’s unique to their suit or their species. I know some members of the fandom really have a thing for parts of fursona, and subsequently, fursuit bodies, including things like paws or antlers. So if a suit has a good set of one of those aspects, they may be the subject of someone’s fursuit crush.
And, even with those educated guesses, there’s no actual rhyme or reason behind why someone may find a fursuit more attractive than others. It could be all or none of the above that causes furries to not stop thinking about that certain special anthropomorphic animal costume that they enjoy so much.
Now, if you went over and described what a fursuit crush is to someone not really associated with the fandom, one of their first responses might be that the whole act of having a crush on a fursuit is actually pretty vain. And honestly, I can kinda see where they’re coming from, especially if they’re not familiar with the furry fandom at large.
But, from the research I’ve done and the information that I’ve gathered, there’s really nothing vain about having a fursuit crush because in all honesty, it’s not that serious in the first place.
Remember the furry fandom is a place that can offer a temporary escape from the overall seriousness of everyday life, so something as silly as having a fursuit crush is more than welcome. Most in the fandom understand that members are going to like certain suits more than others, and if you think about it, it’s an unofficial shoutout to the maker of the suit themselves and a sort of compliment towards their work.
And the other thing that makes this not a big deal is that these are fursuit crushes. Crushes deal with a very small amount of affection, which is different from what we might consider to be love.
Think of it this way: affection is a feeling that is more spontaneous, energetic, and potentially ephemeral, where it can come and go for no reason.
Love is a lot more steadfast of an emotion, it’s long lasting and more durable during the ups and downs of a relationship and is seen as a more permanent emotion. No one actually loves fursuits in the fandom that way, and I mean the serious kind of love, not the way we say love casually like “I love pizza” or something like that. Some just may want to meet and be around certain suits and people in those suits more than others. There’s no requirement to have one and having more than one is acceptable as well.
It’s just a fun, simple way for the fandom to show its appreciation for the design of fursuits, and the performances that people put on inside of them. Now members of the fandom may develop these crushes by seeing pictures of the particular suits online or seeing them in person at a meet-up or a convention. In fact in the latter of those two examples, more often than not, the opportunity will present itself to actually meet your fursuit crush! Which can be an exciting opportunity, but there is a proper way to do it, or actually it’s the opposite. There are things that you should avoid doing, in order to not make meeting your fursuit crush an awkward experience, and for you to actually have a really good time enjoying their company. Which of course means you have to get over your nerves of meeting them first, but I think that’s something you can definitely do, trust me, you have a lot more confidence than you think.


I guess the end game of having a fursuit crush is actually getting to meet and interact with them in some setting. The whole point is that you feel affectionate to them in some way, so it only makes sense that at some point, you would want to get to know them and see what they’re like in real time.
Which is not an uncommon idea, in fact many members of the fandom go to meet-ups or conventions for the sole purpose of meeting an existing fursuit crush or even to find a new one. And most of the time, fursuiters will be receptive to you meeting them, as long as you treat them the right way. Which again is easy to understand and do, in fact a lot of the following information will have been carried over on how to act with anyone in a fursuit in a public space, but it’s still good to go over even if it does end up sounding like review material.
So, how do you properly meet your fursuit crush? Well, the first step is actually approaching them, which may sound basic on the surface but is actually crucial to getting off on the right foot with them.
Remember, fursuits have extremely limited vision, which means you should always approach someone in a suit from directly in front of them. Staying in their line of sight is key for them to see and acknowledge you. You never want to approach a suiter from the side or the back, and you want to approach them slowly, so they have time to orient themselves before they can properly greet you.
Secondly, before doing anything physical with the suiter, make sure your hands and arms are clean. Suits are made of material that can stain very easily, so you want to make sure that your hands aren’t dirty or dusty or sticky with anything that could possibly cause permanent, expensive damage to someone's fluffy investment. And even after you confirm that you’re clean, always ask before doing anything physical as well. This could be for anything, from a hug to petting them to stroking their fur, always get expressed, enthusiastic consent before doing any of those things to a suiter. Make sure you enact any physical interactions with their suit in front of them as well, I’m sure you don’t want to completely blindside your fursuit crush. And when doing anything that involves touching the suit, be very gentle. Use soft strokes and never pull anything and keep your touching and stroking to appropriate areas.
You should also ask for things like photos as well and ensure that any taken are of the appropriate nature too. And if a fursuiter has a prop, and gives you permission to see it, hold and inspect it for a small amount of time, then immediately return it. Most of the time, props are part of their overall costume, so you want to treat it with respect and not spend more than maybe ten seconds playing with it.
Now this is something that kinda goes under the radar when it comes to interacting with fursuiters, but it’s best to keep a positive attitude when hanging out with them. Things may not always go as planned when you finally get a chance to meet your fursuit crush. They may be tired or busy when you get to them or might be on their way back to their hotel room to finish suiting for that time. If something like that happens, it’s a pretty bad look to pout or get frustrated with them or force them to meet with you. That’s actually a good way for them to not appreciate your company and ruin any allure that you have of them as a crush. If things don’t go your way, it’s best to keep a positive attitude and try again next time! There'll definitely be other opportunities to meet, and you'll want the time when you both can meet properly to go as swimmingly as possible. And this goes for rather popular suiters as well. It’s best not to crowd or overwhelm them physically, since again that can be very disorientating for the suiter themselves. It’s also good to have a certain level of patience when waiting to meet them, and to also be cognizant of your time; others may want to spend some time with them as well! But, when it does come to be your turn and you do get a chance to meet your fursuit crush, enjoy yourself and their company!
Talk to them, admire their suit, I don’t know do whatever you do when you meet your crush, that’s out of my realm of expertise. Just do your best to not make it awkward for them. Keep an eye out for their body language to know when to stop doing something they may not want you to. If they seem tired or just generally out of it, it’s good to give them their space so they can handle the physically demanding task of performing in front of everyone. Also don’t follow them around or stalk them when they want to hang out with their friends, that’s just being creepy, and you would hate it if someone constantly followed you around while you were trying to enjoy the company of people you know well. In fact, instead of doing that, you can make it part of your personal lore of trying to meet your fursuit crush, making it all that more satisfying when you finally get to meet the one that seemingly always gets away. Or don’t do that, that sounds a lot more stupid now that I said it out loud and didn’t keep it in my head.
But other than these general guidelines, I’ll give my most generic but effective relationship advice I can offer: just be yourself! You don’t have to tell them that they’re your crush and if you do, keep it at that level of affection, I wouldn’t try making them your significant other right then and there. And remember to treat them like there’s a person under the suit, because there is a real human under the suit, and they deserve a certain level of respect, even if it’s the suit that brings you to their presence. Remember this is supposed to be a fun, silly experience, so make sure you have a good time when meeting them! And following these general steps will help make that experience magical, when you finally do get to meet your fursuit crush.


Alright, that concludes this episode of Furry, Explained! Thank you so much for turning in and listening, I really hope you enjoyed it and maybe learned something new today. As always if you want to continue the conversation about fursuit crushes, or have any other feedback for the show, you can find and follow me on Twitter! I’m @FinnThePanther, and a link to my Twitter is down in the show notes, along with some other resources about handlers that you should definitely check out. As always, if you like the show and want to support it, the best way to do that is to follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re on iTunes or Apple Podcasts, make sure to give the show a rating and a review as well. You can also just tell people about the show, and if they don’t know where to start looking, you can point them to one of our corners of the internet: furry-explained.com or pod.link/furryexplaiend. But anyways thank you so much for doing so and we’ll be back next week for another episode of Furry, Explained, but until then, stay wild out there. Peace!