Why Am I So Negative?

The only reason I ask a “why” question in a social media post . . . because people are drawn to headlines that start with “why.”

But the raw truth is, “why” questions usually get you reasons. 

And reasons aren’t necessarily insights.

Ask “why,” and you’ll often get one justification after another . . . after another.

So, if you’re looking for an insightful answer, maybe don’t ask why.

Now, back to the headline:

Why am I so negative?

It’s by design.

Most people probably consider you negative if you say “no” a lot.

And “no” happens to be my go-to word.

Why?

I’m glad you asked.

Because it’s easier to come back from a “no” than it is from a “yes.”

Think about it.

How do you feel when someone says “yes” to your request . . . and then later changes it to “no”?

Disappointed. Maybe even angry.

Now reverse it.

Someone says “no,” and later changes it to “yes.”

How do you feel?

Relieved. Maybe even a little more upbeat.

That’s the beauty of “no.”

It gives you time.

Time to think about the request. Time to evaluate it. And maybe, just maybe, change your mind and give the other person the “yes” they were hoping for.

But once you’ve said “yes,” and everyone’s happy about it, there’s not much room to back up.

You’ve already given them what they wanted.

Now, having said all that, I do agree that saying “yes” more often has its benefits.

“Yes” opens doors that “no” keeps closed.

It can take you places and introduce you to experiences you might never have discovered otherwise.

But a properly placed “no” can do something pretty valuable, too.

It might save you a pile of dough.

And it gives you time to ask yourself:

Is this really worth going with the flow?

So, yeah . . .

That’s why I’m so negative.

All the best,

John