I Have A Suspicion

I’ve found a pretty useful answer to a question I get asked all the time.

Well, maybe not me specifically. But you know the question.

“Why?”

Why did that happen?

Why did they do that?

Why didn’t it work out?

And sometimes we have an answer.

Or at least we have an opinion.

That’s when I like to use two words:

“I suspect.”

It’s really just another way of saying, “I’m guessing here.”

And I think that’s a pretty honest way to answer a question when you don’t really know the definitive answer – which, if we’re being honest, is most of the time.

Let’s say you’re at a job interview and the interviewer asks, “Why did they fire you?”

You could give a rock-solid answer:

“I got fired because they were jealous of my talent and threatened by me.”

Well . . . good luck with that one.

Because now you’ve made an assertion that somebody may want to challenge.

And suddenly, you’re defending your position instead of having a conversation.

But what if you said:

“I really don't know for sure, but I suspect they felt a little bit threatened by me.”

That’s different.

You’re not claiming to know what was going on inside somebody else’s head. You’re simply offering your best guess.

“I suspect” is a little verbal cushion.

It softens what you’re saying.

It says, “This is what I think, but I could be wrong.”

And that little admission can make a big difference.

Think about how often we’re asked questions about things we really can’t know for certain.

“Why did your relationship end?”

“I suspect we just grew apart.”

“Why didn’t they call you back?”

“I suspect they weren’t interested.”

 “Why did he say that?”

“I suspect he was angry.”

See what happens?

You’re giving an answer without pretending you have access to somebody else’s thoughts, motives, or intentions.

And maybe that’s the real value of those two little words.

“I suspect” keeps an opinion from masquerading as a fact.

So the next time somebody asks you a “why” question and you don’t really know the answer . . .

You might want to resist the temptation to sound certain.

Just say:

“I suspect . . .”

I’m only guessing here but if you answer a “why” question with “I suspect,” you won't be judged as defensive, and you won't have to duck for cover.

All the best,

John