Owning Your Mistakes

Something I’ve learned over the years is that one of the biggest mistakes we make is not knowing we’re making a mistake.

Which creates an interesting problem . . . because if I don’t know I’m making a mistake, I’m probably going to keep making it.

There’s an old line you hear in just about every courtroom drama: “Ignorance of the law is no excuse.”

And my guess is life works that way, too. Whether we know we’re breaking the rules or not, there’s usually a price to pay.

So I go to wondering . . . how do we recognize the mistakes we’re making when we’re not even aware of them?

One place to look is where we’re losing in life.

I’ve found that most losses don’t just happen. There’s usually a trail of breadcrumbs leading up to them. If I go backward and look closely enough, I can usually find a series of choices, reactions, or assumptions that helped get me there.

And somewhere in that trail . . . there’s probably a mistake.

What I’ve also learned is that it’s remarkably easy to miss that mistake by taking one of two side roads.

One is blaming somebody else.

“If he/she hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Well . . . maybe.

And I’ve certainly used that one myself.

The problem is, if somebody else is responsible for where I am, then I’ve also handed them the responsibility for where I go next.

The other side road is defending the mistake.

That one fascinates me.

We can become remarkably creative when it comes to explaining why our own limitations make perfect sense.

And I’ve noticed that I can argue pretty convincingly for something I’d be better off outgrowing.

The older I get, the more I suspect the goal isn’t to avoid mistakes. That would be impossible.

As long as we’re drawing breath, we’re going to make them. That’s probably right up there with death and taxes.

Maybe the more useful thing I’ve learned is simply to recognize them . . . own them . . . and learn from them.

And the nice part is, I don’t have to admit them to anybody else.

I can just admit them to myself.

That seems to be enough to start changing course.

So I’ve come to like this little formula: Own the mistake . . . and you'll outgrow it.

I’ve found that to be a solution that works for me.

All the best,

John