Relating

How well do you relate to others? You can relate even better if you put aside just one thing. Find out what it is in this mini podcast.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
• Peace of mind
• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

John uploads these podcasts on a regular basis. So check back often to hear these podcasts heard around the world. Who wants to be the next person to change? 

Make sure to order a copy of John's new book: WISDOM OF THE GRASSHOPPER – 21 Days to Creativity. These mini-meditations take you inside where all your creative resources live. And you'll come out not only refreshed but recommitted to creating your future. 

It's only $16.95 and available at BLURB.COM at the link below. https://www.blurb.com/b/10239673-wisd...

Also, download John's FREE book INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change. It's available at John's website  https://GrasshopperNotes.com

Transcript

Relating

Here’s a short lesson on relating.

There's a major difference between one who relates well and one who doesn’t. It mainly comes down to the use of judgement.The word "judgement" has all sorts of connotations – both negative and positive. For example, prejudice is deemed negative; discernment is considered positive. Either way, judgement can get in the way of relating.

This is in no way a call to action to banish judgement from your tote bag of tricks. Many times it'll save your ass. This is more of a suggestion to notice the limitation it presents in relating to another human being. Perhaps a story would be helpful . . .

My mother was a waitress from the time she was 14 until her mid 70’s. She was an exceptional judge of people. Part of her mind had catalogued all the different types of people she encountered over the years and she developed some very quick and extremely accurate judging patterns. She was almost psychic in her ability. It’s one of the skills I inherited, and quickly learned it’s a two edged sword.

I developed the ability to size up people in a hurry, long before I became a people helper. It was both a help and a hindrance. It was helpful in avoiding people who didn't have my best interest at heart, and harmful in getting closer to those who did. What I noticed for me and others is this: By having judgement as our main skill, we aren’t relating to the person we're interacting with, but with our judgement of them. That keeps us from going deeper with someone. We remain on the surface and can't seem to connect.

There's nothing humanly relatable about being judged, although judgement is a human trait. But when using it as a relationship tool, we relate to an abstraction instead of relating to a real person. This once removed attempt at relating may not be consciously noticed by another, but it certainly can be felt. There's an uneasy feeling within us when communicating with someone who's judging.

If you're wondering why you can’t get closer to people, you may want to investigate the amount of judgement you use. Judgement seems to be involuntary, it arises out of nowhere. The key to better relating is to notice the judgement when it shows up. Just by noticing that it’s there gives you an opportunity to set it aside so that you can relate more fully with the person you’re interacting with.

Here’s my suggestion: Give up your gavel today and relate away.

All the best,

John