Objections

Objecting to what people are saying just puts you on the other side of the fence without an opportunity to connect. Find another way to object that doesn't stand in the way in this mini podcast.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

Objections

Recently, I was reading through some material an ad writing Guru sent me years ago and found his description of objection fascinating.

He basically said that when a person objects, it just means they don’t believe – so simple, so profound.

Have you ever encountered someone who really could benefit by what you had to offer but their disbelief stood in the way?

You can’t get them to come over to your position by making them wrong. That NEVER works. It smacks of superiority and will close the door to communication at lightning speed.

My strategy for dealing with disbelief in the past was to counter with facts and figures. That would certainly get a person to see the light I was seeing. That RARELY works.

Then I found out a way that has a much better batting average: honoring their disbelief. In people helping  jargon, it’s called joining their model of the world.

When you position yourself on the other side of the line in the sand from someone, it’s a surefire way to get sand kicked in your face.

When you honor someone’s belief, you're temporarily adopting it to see how it feels. That way, you can feel some empathy for their position. What does it feel like to be them?

When you rent their disbelief, it’s easier for you to find a passageway out that makes sense for them, rather than have them walk your prefabricated path.

Additionally, the great teachers of the past taught us the power of the story to communicate ideas that people have conscious resistance to. The story has a way of disengaging their disbelief (objections) and opens them up to new angles of view.

That reminds me of a story . . .

Many people who came to my seminars didn’t believe that the routines they ran were locked in time. For example, most people who smoke began as teenagers. What adult smokers have a hard time believing is that every time they light up, it’s the teenager in them that instigates the act. The smoking pattern they developed is locked in time even though they have physically and mentally matured.

Rather than address that head on, I would ask an adult in the group (usually a big muscular guy) if their mother or father had a look they could give them that could freeze them in their tracks, or say their name in a certain tone of voice that terrified them. It’s amusing to see a big hulk of a fellow admit that his 5′ 1″ mother could make him feel 5 years old again with just a look or a tone of voice.

That part of them that can still be shaken is locked in time. That pattern never got updated and it reacts as though they're still 5 years old. After this demonstration, it’s easier for someone to appreciate their smoking pattern is also locked in time.

Rather than tell them “I know,” it’s always easier for them to see another angle of view when they discover it for themselves. You, without objection, lead them down a path with a trail of breadcrumbs until they fill themselves up with a new belief.

If you want to help someone release their objection, a good start is to adopt their angle of view to find out what it feels like to be them. Next, craft a story that parallels their situation and salt it with evidence that counters their current belief.

If you don't yet believe in this method, I'll agree with you, without objection, because It doesn’t work all the time. But, it does have a long tack record of disengaging someone’s belief rather than making them wrong or "facting" them to death. 

All the best,

John