False Bill Of Goods

When you're advised to not feel your feelings, you're being sold a false bill of goods.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

False Bill Of Goods

There’s a Bill of Goods we’ve been sold that doesn’t match up with the way things really work.

There is an ebb and flow quality to life and when we ignore that fact we get smacked down by an oncoming wave. This false Bill of Goods would encourage us to go out when the tide is coming in and vice-versa. That always has predictable consequences that we continually ignore.

When we force things in life, we go against the tide.

Nowhere is this truer than with our feelings. Everyone would intellectually agree that we cannot force feelings, yet we do it all the time.

How many times have you said, “I shouldn’t feel this way”? Then you make monumental efforts to feel some other way than you do. This is ignoring the tide of life known as reality. The unpainted truth is you DO feel this way.

Feelings, like tides, are meant to flow. One false bill of goods is that we can keep the tide we like in place for as long as we want. The oil that’s being sold with that philosophy has a little hiss to it.

The corollary is we can force the tide that we don’t like to go away. What’s that hiss I hear over in the dune grass?

The approach that we ignore is the one that works best – dig for clams when the tide is out and wax up the surfboard when it’s coming in.

You can't legislate or negotiate tides or emotions. They are what they are and they crush all resistance.

Trying to force your feelings to be other than what they are is a large cause of self-induced pain. The radiating pain you cause for others when you continue to entertain emotional denial is equally destructive.

Feelings are meant to be felt. That’s one of life’s truths occluded by society’s lie which is this: You don’t have to feel your feelings. That’s like claiming there is no such thing as low tide.

If you're attempting to force or deny your feelings, you're drowning in your own fairy tale. It’s time for a re-write.

The new chapter of your life has you feel the feelings you have. Fully experience any sensation that shows up. Don’t have conversation with it, debate it, or castigate it. Just sit in silence with that physical sensation and allow it to flow where it naturally wants to go and keep your attention on it. Here’s the result: When you stop trying to force the tides, you get to calmer seas quicker.

I never got the logic that hiding under a thin bed sheet protected you from lightning, but that didn’t keep me from doing it.

No one yet has talked their way out of a feeling, but we continue the practice. It’s time to feel the storms that roil our emotional seas.

Take a dip into your sensations and feel them to the fullest. There are two benefits:

1. You know what it feels like to be human.
2. You can never again be sold a false Bill of Goods.

All the best,

John