The Need To Be Right

How much of you is invested in being right? You'll bankrupt yourself by staying on that path. That's the topic of this week's Grasshopper Notes essay from John Morgan for the week of January 22nd.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

The Need To Be Right

I think it’s pretty safe to say, “Nobody wants to be wrong.” There seems to be a need to be right in all of us. I’d like to explore that need.

When we’re adjudged as being right, we get validation. What part of us gets the validation? Freud called it the ego. I prefer to call it our self image – who we think we are.

But who we actually are never needs validation. It’s always been who we are, no matter how many layers of paint we’ve added to our image. 

But back to being right . . . 

Suppose you offer an unsolicited opinion to someone, an observation about them that you deem to be right on point. Let’s say it’s not an upbeat observation. While you’re waiting for the outcome of your prediction, there’s a part of you that wants to be right even though it will cause this person harm. But, there is another part of you that hopes you’re not right. It’s an internal battle you’re waging about rightness.

Who you are never argues about being right. Right or wrong doesn’t exist with who we are, only is or isn’t.

Being right more often than not gets us the blue ribbon judgement award, but even all that validation isn’t enough to satisfy our self image. It has a voracious appetite for being right and will fight for it well into the night.

When you align with the part of you that doesn’t need validation, you send the need to be right on a permanent vacation. 

It’s totally natural to have opinions, but insisting they’re right will keep the internal battle alive and peace of mind just a novel idea.

Am I right?

All the best,

John