Regrets Before The Fact

This week's Grasshopper Notes essay for the week of July 29th from John Morgan. It's about regrets and how to have fewer of them.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

Regrets Before The Fact

I’m sure we all have our regrets, but how many of them could we have avoided had we had them in advance?

One of my daughters-in-law posted an essay by a dying Steve Jobs, the man who gave us Apple.®

He issued a litany of regrets he had and some sage advice for the living.  

In the regrets department, he wrote this: “Right now, lying on my hospital bed, reminiscing all my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth I took so much pride in, has faded and become meaningless in the face of imminent death.”

In the “pass on the wisdom” department, he wrote: “An indisputable fact of life: Don't raise your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. When they grow up, they will know the value of things and not the price.”

The proverb “Look before you leap” has been with us since 1546 and we’ve been ignoring it for centuries.

What’s the long-term outcome of a current action you’re about to take? We’ve been conditioned not to think that way. We’re so invested in the short-term and remain shortsighted about the consequences of our action.

It may be time for us to learn to “regret before the fact.”

One of the skills I’ve developed over time is the ability to spot “the fly in the ointment” in a proposed action that has lots of exuberance behind it. I’m often perceived as the wet blanket on a brilliant idea. I don’t consider myself to be a negative Nellie, just a proponent of asking the question, “What could go wrong?“

By also considering the downside, you’ll be singing like Sinatra: “Regrets, I’ve had a few but then again, too few to mention.”

Regret before the fact really means to regret before you act. Maybe it’s just me taking to heart what one of my childhood heroes Davy Crockett said, “Be always sure you are right, then go ahead.” Following his advice will save you countless heartaches and a boatload of dread.

All the best,

John