Sanity Clause

This week's Grasshopper Notes essay for the week of December16th is John Morgan's annual letter to Santa.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
• Peace of mind
• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

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Transcript

Sanity Clause

Every year, I write a letter to Santa Claus, but this year I’m texting, to show Santa I can change with the times. 

Speaking of changes, Santa could you deliver the following ones this holiday season. These changes would preserve my sanity.

Could you have people on Facebook say more than “Happy Birthday” on someone’s special day. If that’s all they can come up with, please advise them to forgo the greeting. It has the sincerity of a smarmy funeral director. 

I would also like people to change back to saying, “you’re welcome” when someone says, “thank you.” I’ve witnessed it change over the years from “you’re welcome” to “no problem,” and now the newest incarnation is “of course.” I’m not sure you have that much clout Santa, but any effort on your part would be greatly appreciated.

Additionally could you have the football announcers stop saying, “this young man” when referring to a player. It makes the announcer sound two days older than baseball and has a patronizing feel to it.

Also, Santa can you have the cable news channels stop presenting a story that’s days old as “breaking news”? It has the feel of the “boy who cried wolf” too often and risks people paying attention when a story truly does break.

And as you know Santa, I live in Rhode Island (Little Rhody to the locals). Can you have the natives start adding the  middle“T” sound to the following words: button, curtains, and important? They currently say, “Buh-in,” “Cur-Ins,” and “Impor-en.” And for extra credit can they stop calling it “Pizzer” when referring to those delicious tomato pies.

I know I’m asking a lot Santa, but if you and the elves can make it happen, it’ll make my Christmas.

Thank you and Merry Christmas, Santa.

(LJ) Little Johnny

P.S. I heard from one of your mall Santas that you and the missus made a change and stopped taking Ozempic® Honestly, Santa I prefer to have you fat and happy rather than risking your health and feeling crappy.

All the best,

John