Reason For Concern

We'll never run out of reasons. That alone is of concern when we discover that reasons will never explain away behavior.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

Reason For Concern

‘Tis the season to use reasons . . .

Today's musing is about a misperception we humans have about reasons, which reminds me of a story . . .

When I conducted weight loss seminars, I was shocked to see the belief a large number of intelligent people carry around in their mind that has no basis in reality.

Someone would tell me their goal: “I want to change this fat into muscle.” When I probed further, they really thought that fat became muscle. Fat is fat and muscle is muscle. One never becomes the other one. When one dissipates, the other is more visible.

Then one day The Grasshopper piped up and added this: “Reasons have nothing to do with behavior.”

That got me curious as to how often we justify behavior after the fact with a reason. It’s a basic software package that comes with the human mind. “The reason I’m flunking algebra is because the teacher doesn’t like me . . . is the toughest teacher in the school . . . all the kids are failing . . . blah, blah, etc.”

The unreasoned answer to “Why are you flunking algebra?” is simply, “because I’m flunking algebra.” The mind will never run out of reasons. It’s a reasoning machine.

In the reasoning mindset the answer to “why” is always a bevy of justifications (reasons). Perhaps this fact alone will get you to form the habit of stop asking “why” questions. “Why” always gets a reason.

Behavior is behavior and reasons are reasons and when one dissipates, the other is more visible.

I’ll admit it’s fun to toss about the reason why someone did something, but the answers can never be trusted. 

We act and then we justify. Notice how often people don’t agree with your reasoning for your behavior. They come up with their own reasons and the debate goes on forever as to who has the right reason. Reasons are like pregnant cats – they're the gift that keeps on giving.

Here’s a little secret I’ve discovered. When you acknowledge your behavior without issuing a host of reasons, the other person stops reasoning as well, and the pointless debate ceases.

How many public figures – politicians, actors, athletes – would end the debate and soften their fate if they stopped issuing reasons for their actions. Comedian Flip Wilson was known for his popular phrase: “The devil made me do it.” It's the battle cry of the reasoning process. Reasons always throw kerosene onto an already blazing fire.

This is a reminder for all of us to be more mindful about our fondness to reason away reality.

All the best,

John