People Are Who They Are, Not Who You Want Them To Be.

If you spend all your time trying to change someone, you have the accent on the wrong syllable. The only person you can change is yourself.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
• Peace of mind
• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

John uploads these podcasts on a regular basis. So check back often to hear these podcasts heard around the world. Who wants to be the next person to change? 

Make sure to order a copy of John's new book: WISDOM OF THE GRASSHOPPER – 21 Days to Creativity. These mini-meditations take you inside where all your creative resources live. And you'll come out not only refreshed but recommitted to creating your future. 

It's only $16.95 and available at BLURB.COM at the link below. https://www.blurb.com/b/10239673-wisd...

Also, download John's FREE book INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change. It's available at John's website  https://GrasshopperNotes.com

Transcript

People Are Who They Are, Not Who We Want Them to Be

How much time have you wasted hoping someone would change into who you want them to be?

I have to admit, one phrase that always makes me cringe is: “That’s just the way I am.” No, that’s just the way you’ve been conditioned.

The way people behave is largely shaped by their experiences and upbringing. Changing that takes time and effort. If you're raising kids, it’s worth investing in their growth. But once they’re, as my mom used to say, “big and ugly,” the chances of changing them drop significantly.

When it comes to adults, I think of an old saying: “You can lead a horse to water, but keep in mind what a wet horse smells like.”

If you keep trying to change people—especially those who have no interest in changing—you’ll end up frustrated.

How many deep, emotional conversations have you had with the family drunk? Do you really think one more is going to make a difference?

If you can’t accept someone’s behavior, that’s fine. But accept this: You can’t change them. Change only happens when they decide to do it themselves.

The same goes for you. No one can change you except you. Sure, someone might open your eyes to a new way of thinking, but the real work is still on you. Honestly, every therapy session should probably start with this disclaimer: “No matter what we discuss here, the problem is still yours to solve.”

Prison doesn’t change criminals—if it did, we wouldn’t have such high reoffending rates. The ones who change are the ones who realize their way isn’t working and decide to do something different.

At the root of our desire to change others is this flawed idea: “If they were more like me, their life would be better.” No, they’d just be more like you. True growth only happens when they choose it for themselves.

If you want a frustrating, time-consuming hobby with zero payoff, try changing people. But if you truly want to make progress, focus on changing yourself.

All the best,
 John