How To Handle The Downside

Life has its ups and downs, and if you attempt to ignore the down, you elongate its stay.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

How To Handle the Downside

If I ever write a memoir, I already know the title: It Snowed on My Birthday.

Now, my birthday’s in April, and I’ve lived in the northeast most of my life. Snow in April? I’ve seen it a couple of times. But never on my birthday—until this one year.

But this isn’t really about birthdays or snow. It’s about the downside—the role it plays in our lives, and how we deal with it.

Most of us spend a lot of time trying to escape the downside by pretending it isn’t there. But that’s like wishing it’ll never rain.

Ups and downs are both part of life. Ignoring one doesn’t make it go away. In fact, it usually creates more drama.

Take the little dance we do when someone asks, “How are you?” We say, “Oh fine.” Inside, you're feeling not so fine.

Now, I’m not suggesting you unload on the person just making small talk. What I’m pointing to is how often we mask the downside.

There’s no getting around pain. Ask anyone who’s been through labor or passed a kidney stone. Pretending it’s not there doesn’t make it disappear. The downside works the same way.

Of course, I’d rather live in the upside. Who wouldn’t? But I know it’s not a permanent address. Longfellow had it right: “Into each life some rain must fall.” And he gave us a way to handle it too: “The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”

That doesn’t mean you have to enjoy the downside. It means noticing it, allowing it, and not dressing it up as something it’s not.

Ups and downs are twins—you truly can’t appreciate one without the other.

So I’m not suggesting you celebrate the downside. Just acknowledge it when it shows up. From my experience, its stay will be shorter when you shovel the snow together.

All the best,

John