Notice The Difference

This mini podcast is about the two types of judgement and which one works better.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

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Transcript

Notice The Difference

The actual title I had in mind was “Notice the difference without the judgment.” But I’m told that’s a little clunky as a headline, so we’ll go with the shorter version.

Let’s be honest—we’ve all been conditioned to judge. Every one of us does it. Some more than others.

And I’ve come to see there are really two kinds of judgment.

One is degradation. The other is discernment.

Degradation is the one that does us the least good. You know the routine: we judge something—or someone—and then we let that judgment rattle around in our head for hours, days, even years. Before long, it turns into something we treat as fact . . . even though we can’t prove it. And all it really does is keep us stuck.

Discernment, on the other hand, is different. It’s simply noticing the difference between two things, without the drama. It’s just fact-based observation.

Here’s what I mean.

Degradation sounds like this:
“Look at that fat, lazy slob. They probably wouldn’t recognize a vegetable if it bit ‘em in the ass. How can anybody carry around that much weight? Don’t they know they could lose it if they’d just diet and exercise? How do they even look in the mirror? What a bloated tick!”

And on and on it goes. Your rant doesn’t affect them, but it does affect you. It just becomes a stump speech that stunts your growth.

Now let me give you a real-life example of discernment.

I was standing in line at the pharmacy behind a man in shorts and a T-shirt. I happened to notice the back of his legs—his calves. Now, I should tell you, compared to the rest of my body, my calves are the least developed muscles. So when I looked, I noticed this man’s calves had almost no definition. His legs went straight from the back of his knees to his ankles.

In the past, I might have played the superiority game—looked at him, then looked at me, and thought, “Well, at least mine are better than his.” But this time was different. I simply noticed it. No judgment, only discernment. As casual as saying, “Oh, he has brown eyes, and I have blue.”

I’ve talked before about a strategy I call “judge quickly.” That means when a degrading judgment pops up in your mind, let it have its quick say—and then move it along before it turns into drama.

But this new approach feels even better: just notice the difference, without the judgment. Keep it fact-based, and you won’t slip into the land of debase.

Because here’s an undeniable fact: any judgment you’re carrying around in your head isn’t going to change the other person. It only affects you – leaving you clutching a judgment that keeps you in a mental stew.

So next time you catch yourself sliding into judgment, try this: just notice the difference . . . and leave it at that.

All the best,
John