What Are You Excluding?

Exclusion leads to isolation. That's the topic of this mini podcast.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
• Peace of mind
• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

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Transcript

What Are You Excluding?

Question: Which is easier — including or excluding?

For most of us, excluding is almost automatic. It’s effortless. But here’s the twist: including almost always feels better.

It’s easy to keep people at arm’s length when we’re looking at them from our perch of “I’ve got it all together” or from our own private island of isolation. From that distance, we judge. We decide they don’t measure up, don’t fit in, or don’t do things our way. And when we do that, we miss a lot.

Now, including someone . . . that takes a little sacrifice at first. And I learned that in a very real way one night.

Years ago, someone unexpectedly showed up at our house right at dinnertime — not invited, not expected. My first internal reaction was, “Oh no… not now… not them.” Thankfully, my wife had a very different reaction. She shared something her mother had taught all her children — a simple phrase: “Family hold back.”

The idea was beautiful: if each of us took just a little less, there would be enough for everyone — and the guest would feel welcomed, not tolerated.

That night, my perspective shifted — from intrusion . . . to inclusion. I wasn’t a bad or selfish person; I was just operating from a protective mindset — a habit of exclusion.

Because when we include, what we’re really giving up is that old belief that we’re separate . . . different . . . apart. And that belief runs deep — we’re conditioned to protect our space, our belongings, our comfort, and our way.

But think about it: What we’re protecting isn’t reality — it’s an image, an illusion of “how it’s supposed to be.”

Inclusion is based in reality. Exclusion is based in imagination.

Inclusion opens the door to diversity and growth. Exclusion keeps us being right — and also keeps us left out.

This isn’t about giving up your preferences. It’s simply a reminder that your way isn’t the only way. And the moment we recognize that, something powerful happens: we realize we may be protecting a way of life that can’t expand, evolve, or grow.

“Separate and apart” is where conflict begins. Inclusion — as my friend Jerry Stocking puts it — is love.

And here’s the real kicker: it’s hard to exclude someone when you recognize that, in a very real sense, they’re the same as you. They might look different, think differently, or have different conditioning — but at the core, that’s you in someone else’s skin.

So just start noticing when you want to exclude. You don’t have to fix it right away. Just notice. Every time you catch yourself, that habit loosens its grip — and you open the door a little wider to the possibility that everybody is you.

All the best,

John